This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning, everyone. So, first I want to... Give thanks to the abbess for inviting me and to bring Gulch to speak. I'm grateful. And thank you for your presence, Linda. Thank you. So I want to dedicate the merit of this talk to my dharma sister, Gengetsu Junse. Janna Draka. And right now she is in the hospital and she is experiencing her last days.

[01:07]

And so it's kind of interesting. The last time I did a talk here, our teacher had just died. And so it's interesting that I'm here as she is a Dharma sister is moving along. And so I want to bring Janna into this room and and know that she is held by all of us. I want to, you know, there's a place I love, it's called Deer Park Plum Village in Escondido with Thich Nhat Hanh, and they always sing. So I thought, you know, to kind of loosen us up a bit, it's been quite the journey we've all been on, and to have a song, so I'm going to sing a song, And you will catch on to the song, hopefully, by the, towards the end of it. I'll do it a couple of rounds, maybe two, three, four rounds of it. And there's definitely a part in there that you can sing without knowing, because it's just, it'll just come into your heart, hopefully.

[02:16]

So, is the sound all right? Good, okay. Louder, because I keep seeing a few more, okay. All right. So the song goes. Let's sing. I give my joy from the simple thing coming from the earth. I give my joy from the sun that shines and the waters speak to me. Listen to the wind and listen to the waters. Hear what they say. They say, hey, [...] hey. They say, hey, [...] hey. I give my joy from the simple things coming from the earth.

[03:29]

I give my joy from the sun that shines and the waters speak to me. Listen to the wind and listen to the waters. Hear what they say. They say, hey-ya, hey-ya. Hey-ya, hey-ya. Hey-ya, hey-ya, hey. They say, hey-ya, hey-ya. Hey-ya, hey-ya. Hey, yeah, hey, yeah, hey. One more time because you got it. I hear the joy from the simple thing coming from the earth. I get my joy from the sun that shines and the water that will speak to me.

[04:31]

Listen to the wind and listen to the waters. Hear what they say. They say, hey-ya, [...] hey-ya. They say, hey-ya, hey-ya, hey-ya, hey-ya. Thank you for joining me in that. We can practice it now. It's recorded, I think. You can sing it back to me. So today... And every day is always timely to talk about what we've been taught and how we practice it and how we apply it to our lives.

[05:36]

And today I would like to talk with you about compassion. And in that song that I sung, I think it brings me into my heart. And I was hoping the same might be for you. I hope so. So... The word compassion has been flying around quite a bit lately because, my goodness, we need something. And so I was attending a retreat. Actually, I was one of the speakers at a social action and yoga retreat. And after my talk, a woman asked, I'm really struggling. And she was, I could tell it was in her body. Her face was in a frown. And she said, I'm really struggling to have compassion for our president in the country, in this country.

[06:42]

And she said, I'm struggling with what I'm hearing, how so many people are being... marginalized and hated in this country. And I can't seem to find any compassion for the president or these people. So I did have an answer for her, but I want to continue with another story because I'm going to talk a little bit more about compassion. What is it that we really are trying to do when we ask for that, and we want to do that, and we want to experience it in our lives. So I got another phone call from a friend, and she's a black woman, and she was talking about being afraid of the police, that she might be dragged out of the car and hurt by the police, and it was a real fear of hers, you know. And just, I think, that weak

[07:47]

there was a black woman who had been doused with gasoline and burned and that really bothered her. It really scared her to the point she didn't know what to do. And she too asked the question about compassion. What is this thing that we are being asked to do? What is this compassion? And so, I sat with it for a while. You know, I could come up with many fast, quick questions from a lot of Dharma books. But I thought to explore this for myself as well, because I could feel the struggle in my own life, and I could feel the pain and struggle of this woman who's speaking about being afraid to be in her own skin and to walk in the world and feel as a target. And so I I could feel it strongly and I began to explore what experience that I've had in my life that felt like compassion, that felt like an experience of compassion.

[09:00]

Because I'm always saying to folks, if you want to experience compassion, you must know it for oneself. You must have an experience of it so that you even know what you're giving. What are you giving? You know, exactly. And what are you doing when you say that you want to do this and you want to bring compassion? So in my exploration, my father came up, who always does, and he always comes to me. He's quite the spirit. I have a very strong ancestor, so he is very strong. And so as I was exploring this, it really came to me of the reasons why he is so powerful. close to me and I'm to him. And so I wrote a little bit and I wanted to share it because I think it's an example for at least me and how compassion can be experienced. And we'll talk more about other things that have been me, so don't worry.

[10:03]

So this is about my father. Thank you. As it turned out, my father would be my only hero. And this man, I would never get to know through his ideology or opinions because he was as silent as a Benedictine monk sequestered in our house as if it were a monastery. It was as if his countryness was trapped inside his bloated belly and mouth of tobacco-stained teeth. I still chose him. I chose a man who couldn't read, whose English was gobbled up into the thick Creole accent that lay beneath his tongue. It was difficult to understand him, and many thought him to be ignorant because of such. Still, I chose him.

[11:06]

I watched the corners of his mouth turn up into a smile just because he was going to tell a story of a time when black folks couldn't, didn't, wouldn't, were not supposed to do such a thing. And then the way he clapped his hands to contemplate, I grew angry at the amount of love he gave a world that refused to see him as human. And still, I chose him. He carried me and my sisters under his gaze of protection, never understanding the ways of the city. But he had heard stories of what could happen to black children. He made sure our house was painted and the lawn was cut to ensure continued protection. We were citizens. He waved. He smiled. And I chose him again and again.

[12:09]

I chose him because he had never been chosen. And if I could do this for him, choose him, that is, blow the specks of dirt that may have landed on the blue lapels of his suit, then we would have simultaneously been freed from our suffering. and we could share the joy of our living together. So... So what I have witnessed in the past year, it's been quite a year for all of us in this country, and what I've witnessed is that the folks who... suffer greatly. Those who suffer to great extents have had their families destroyed by death or deportation or have been banned because of their religion.

[13:25]

I have heard from these folks, including myself, that the ones who suffer the most ask for love, will question love, will want to be compassionate, they ask for that first. It's interesting. So why would those who suffer the most, like the two women I was talking about earlier, the one at the yoga retreat that want to be compassionate to the president, or the black woman who wanted to be compassionate despite her fear of living in the world, And so the question was, how can I be compassionate? And is this the right thing to do when you're suffering so much? Should I be even compassionate? Is that the right response? But I understand that people ask this constantly. How can I love when I am hated or when I hate myself or hate what other people are doing?

[14:29]

How can I be compassionate? And what is this compassion? And why must I have compassion when I'm suffering so much? Why does it seem that the right thing for some of us in the midst of suffering, great suffering, is to find a place in our hearts to love it? To love that suffering. What is it really we are to do in the realm of great suffering? And so I think at this time in our lives, we are being asked to explore compassion deeper and to go further. And I'll talk what that means with deeper and further. We like to use those words a lot in our practice. But what does that really mean? And so compassion, for some of you who may not know, sometimes the Sanskrit word is used, and that is karuna.

[15:30]

Karuna, K-A-R-U-N, as a Sanskrit word for compassion. And so when I sat with that question again, why so many of us who suffer so much want to be the first to be compassionate, and when I sat with it, I realized that what we are looking for is to disrupt hatred. It is our way of disrupting hatred. And while you may not read that in a Dharma book, compassion is a way to disrupt hatred, you will notice that the Buddha intervened and he disrupted suffering around him and in his life. And that he found the compassion. His way of compassion was to disrupt the suffering and the illness and the disease and the not being cared for.

[16:33]

He saw people not being cared for outside of the palace. And he wanted to disrupt that. And then so the Buddha went about that as his way, as his practice, as the way he walked. Jesus Christ, the same way, attempted to interrupt great suffering with compassion. to interrupt great suffering with compassion. That was their way. And so we, in a way, have been taught that in some way, those of us who have followed some of these pathways, to try on compassion as a way to disrupt the hatred. And what did we learn? What did we learn about it? What really is this karuna? For each one of us, we must find that. What is karuna? in our lives. And so, I see and I have thought of compassion as being intimately connected to suffering.

[17:40]

Intimately to know suffering. It's not, compassion is not something in which you say a few words, kind words to someone or take an action, you know, in which you can You know, say, look what I did, look what I've done. Compassion is a lifetime awakening. It's a lifetime awakening to the nature of life. So what we are being presented with right now in this country is to awaken to this life right now, what we are, who we are, and how we are. So sometimes we want to shrink down compassion into very simple actions. But as I'm continuing to speak with you, you will begin to know that we're talking about something very deep and long, a journey of human nature. It's not that other thing you might think it is, whatever that is. I imagine we could pop off with some words around it, around the room. But compassion, sometimes, and I think...

[18:45]

Often we say we're doing it, but I'm still very angry. I'm still rageful. I still feel distressed. And I still feel confused by all that's going on. And, you know, forget about this compassion stuff. It's not quite working. And so you might say, why is being compassionate so difficult? You know, what is the struggle with it? And so I sit with that question again myself. I often explore these teachings through my own life. Yeah, I read a lot of books. That just helps me have some words to help try to articulate it. But I can tell you it's something that cannot be articulated completely. And I think you all know that kind of an experience. So in my... looking at sometimes why am I still struggling with compassion at times and thinking others are having the same experience, I wrote this.

[19:49]

We make an effort to be compassionate without wisdom. We make an effort to be compassionate without any wisdom. And compassion requires wisdom. So, oh no, something else to understand and meet. Yeah, see how deep it gets, how it's going down. So, the word, Sanskrit word for wisdom is prajna. It's prajna. P-R-A-J-N-A, prajna. So, without prajna, wisdom, karuna, compassion, is left in a more shallow place of condolences or apology or pity or worry. And sometimes we feel like that's being compassionate. I can only feel pity and shame.

[20:51]

I am not suffering as much as you are, so I'm so sorry. I should suffer more. I can feel your rage, but I'm not a rageful person. I cannot look you in the eye. I feel hopeless. I can't change the way things are. You are my cause, the reason I fight for justice. I worry for you. Take care. Well, this is not the full experience of compassion. It could not just feel sorry for my father. I could not just, oh, I'm so sorry he can't read. You know, no one... really talks to him because of the way he looks, the way he sounds, he's not worthy. To feel sorry for him, to be apologetic for what has happened to him and to live an apologetic life for him would not bring that deep joy that I talked about that came in the end of my exploration so that I chose him so that

[22:01]

we could simultaneously be freed of suffering and simultaneously experience the joy of our lives and living together. Now, so that didn't take any apologies and pity or any of those things. So the full experience of compassion, like I said, requires wisdom. And the way I have held that is, what do you know about the nature of life? What do you know about the nature of life, the nature of being embodied, and the nature of being in general? You know, what is it that you have learned that you can rely upon? What wisdom? And if you feel like, oh, maybe I don't, well, maybe not. Maybe you're still working on that. But that is what is required for compassion. A full experience of compassion requires wisdom. So while you're thinking of giving it, where's the wisdom and the compassion that you want to give?

[23:08]

So the core of Buddha's teachings is a knowing and understanding that we are sharing life. We are sharing life. And this is the way with my father. We're sharing life. We are of each other. That's the wisdom. The wisdom is necessary in order to experience true compassion. We have to know that we're sharing life. that were interrelated, and this is the deep understanding that must happen before a true experience of compassion can come to any of us. My favorite chant and sutra from the day I walked into Zen Center was the Heart Sutra. I had no idea what it meant, and it didn't make any sense. But I felt something in my heart. I felt a freedom that I had never felt before, just in saying the words.

[24:09]

And the Heart Sutra is chanted, the Heart Sutra of Great Perfect Wisdom is chanted in all Zen centers all over the world. And it's a medicine. to expose and to bring out the compassion in you. So when Buddha sat down to talk with Shariputra, and Shariputra was one of his main students, along with Kema and Upalavarna, the two women, those were his main teachers. And Shariputra was constantly struggling with this issue of compassion. So Buddha says, Avalokitesvara bodhisattva. So he's talking about a bodhisattva, Avalokitesvara, who represents compassion. Or for some people, maybe Kwan Yin, who also represents compassion.

[25:12]

She has many names, Kwan M, Kwan Nan. She has names, all of these names, probably could fill a book of the different names. of compassion and the embodiment of that. So he goes, So he says it right in the first line, that in practicing the compassion, there must be the prashna, there must be the perfect understanding, there must be the wisdom. You know, he's trying to teach him because he's saying, I try to be, you know, kind to these people, you know, the other monks. And he runs into a lot of problems. We could go on with the stories. There's a lot of stories about Shariputra, if you're interested. And so one of the stories I wanted to share was toward the end of his life when he really started to understand compassion. And at the end of his life, the Buddha says, I'm getting ready to go into Pada Nirvana.

[26:18]

I am getting ready to die. And, you know, Shariputra is like, well, wait a minute. Wait a minute. The monk, you know, I'm your main student. And so I should go first. I should go before you. And so in the story, I'm thinking the Buddha's going to say, no, no, no, but he says yes. Go forth. Go forth. I would have been like, where's the story going? So he says, yes. In the old days, the monks, you know, had a practice when you knew you were coming to your death. You would sit and you would bring, you had practiced so long that you could bring forth nirvana within your own body. You had that ability to do that. You had the ability to bring up such great and deep compassion because you understood the interconnection of life and everyone.

[27:21]

And you had no fear of death because death was just an interconnection of life. So this wasn't a scary thing, you know. It's just something you do for your teacher. And so he says, no, I'll enter nirvana first. And then peri-nirvana is having nirvana after death. And so that's what, you know, you continue. So the monk started crying, you know, because he's going to die. Sharaputra's going to die. And so was Buddha, right? And so he leaves. He does his last sermon. He leaves. He goes home. his family, and his family are like, oh, you know, they hadn't seen him in a long time. Maybe they call him another name, probably his nickname. And he's back, Junior's back. And they're hugging him and being, you know, like they haven't seen him forever, because when you go away to a monastery, you go away. You leave life. So he comes back, and then when they find out he's getting ready to

[28:21]

go into nirvana, come back to go into nirvana, they begin to cry. They haven't seen him so long, and for him to come back, and the first thing he's going to do is die in front of them. So, for his teacher, you know, and so he... He begins to go into nirvana. First, he does a sermon, and the family in the village begin to cry. They have all come to see him, and they're crying. And he does his last sermon, and then he enters nirvana, para-nirvana, and they cremate him, and his bones, his relics, are carried back to the Buddha. And when they carry his relics back to the Buddha, the Buddha takes his bones, his relics, and he holds them up, and the whole assembly bows down to Shariputra for his profound experience and his profound gift of nirvana for all of them and for everyone in a way of keeping the teachings going.

[29:29]

So, you know, I don't think any of the people I know are going to step in front of me, I think, and die. And maybe this, to you, may be a story of sacrifice. Wow, that sounds like sacrifice. But it's a story of sharing one's life, a story of the promise we make and the effort we make to be awake. So he made an effort to be awake so when that time came, he would be ready. to do what he did. And so to enter fully into the life in front of us with perfect understanding, that is the wisdom. And can we have that much wisdom that deep or be that awake enough to offer that much compassion? So I'm sharing all of this just to show you the depth of compassion and to understand also, and the perfect understanding is to understand that all things arise and fall according to causes and conditions Sharaputra had learned this already, and that all things are impermanent and will finally be extinguished.

[30:33]

All things. And so there was no fear or confusion, distress, or anger. Like, really, Buddha, you want me to go first? I was just saying that, you know what I mean? I was hoping you'd say no. So I think it's important to... for us to understand that, what is the deep understanding? You know, when you think about compassion, what is the deep understanding? What is it that, what is it to be awake? And of course, one of the, and I stated a little bit earlier, but quickly, that nothing exists in and of itself, and that we are interrelated, interwoven, intervened, we are interrelated. And so the Shariputra's death is Buddha's death, Buddha's death is Shariputra, you know.

[31:39]

And because of that, we do nothing alone. Everything is happening. So we must look into this right now in this country, look into this of our living together and sharing together and really take the time to explore in the deepest way you can so that the awakening can truly come to you in the way you feel. And whether or not this is a struggle for you, know that. And whether or not maybe it feels impossible, know that. You know, so if you know that, that when you do offer compassion for oneself or to others, that that compassion is filled with that understanding, the perfect wisdom of understanding. There is an ordination today, you know, and I want to congratulate Kogan, Kogan-san, and That ordination in becoming a priest is compassion, is an expression of compassion.

[32:46]

To give one's life over to the teachings of freedom and liberation and not even know what you're doing. You don't even know what you're doing. But you do it anyway. You have no idea. You know, you just do it. Yes. Suzuki Roshi, I would say, say yes. Yes. And you do it. And you enter this way in which you say, I am going to share life so that we together can be free from suffering and can continue the joy of our living together. That's what we're a nation is. And that's what I had done right with my father. So many of us are ordained already. Congratulations. And many of us will be ordained in other ways. We will be ordained in a way that people know we're accepting that responsibility as our life.

[33:53]

And that you can see it and know it. And that we're dedicated and committed to it. Even when we doubt it. Yeah, we doubt it. You know, there's going to be doubt. And that is the time to rediscover the commitment and the dedication to hold ourselves as Kuan Yin, Avalokiteshbara, Kuan Om, Kuan Om, whatever the name you want to give shape and body to compassion. So the next time you're chanting the sutra, just study the first two sentences for about a year. I know the word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What does it mean? How is it applied? Because it's this sutra where the compassion lies and can be exposed and can be used to disrupt the hatred.

[34:54]

In oneself, the anger, distress, and confusion. And in others. Because you're not giving that over. You can have it, but you can keep it on. Like they say, keep it on your mat. When you're sitting, you know, tapping. I'm really angry right now. You know, we don't do that. We stay with what is before us, you know. And then we can share later. But you must do the deep journey. And I think that's what we're being called to do. The deepest journey we've ever done as human beings. And I think the animals are going to be real happy because they've been doing it a long time. The other animal, four-legged, winged ones, creepy crawlers, and those who swim beneath the sea, they know. And the trees, they know. This is all there. It was there when we came.

[35:56]

We were interrelated when we came into this world and we went blind. And so this is the awake place is to understand that. To understand. Have the understanding with that wisdom. So I was given a watch and I never did bring it out. Okay. I always say, I should have went into stand-up comedy. One of the books I'd like to, and you asked me for books, and later this came to my mind, is The Heart of Understanding by Thich Nhat Hanh. It's very small. And so you could get through this. It's a really good book to read right now to bring yourself into that place of wisdom, into the heart of your life, the heart of your life. And then it'll be...

[36:58]

you'll be with others in the heart of their lives quite spontaneously. It doesn't take a lot of work. It takes a lot of releasing and surrendering. I think I have about four minutes. I think you want to sing that song again? I give my joy from the simple things coming from the earth. I give my joy from the sun that shines and the waters speak to me. Listen to the wind and listen to the water. Hear what they say.

[38:00]

They say I get my joy from the simple things Coming from the earth. I give my joy from the sun that shines. And the waters speak to me. Listen to the wind. Listen to the waters. Hear what they say. They say, hey, hey, hey. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center.

[39:23]

Our programs are made possible Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[39:45]

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