Good morning, everyone. You hear me okay? Thank you for coming to Green Gulch Farm this morning. My name is Chi Ryu. I'm the head of practice here, as many of you know. And in beginning, the talk today, I wanted to acknowledge that it's been quite eventful week in our country in so many different ways. And we're all impacted and it's worth noticing how we're impacted. We're each impacted differently and processing this all in our own ways.

[01:28]

May we take refuge. May we continue to find support in our practice of Zazen, in our practice of the Buddha Dharma as we endeavor to meet these circumstances, these actual circumstances of our life and world with the true wisdom and true compassion that it calls for. So in our smaller San Francisco Zen Center world, it also has been a very eventful week, and namely with the passing away of one of our elder and dearly beloved teachers and disciple of Suzuki Roshi, Hakuryu Sojun Mel Weitzman Roshi. Many of you maybe know that he died on Thursday at the age of 91. So Sojin Roshi, commonly known as Mel, was a long-standing pillar of this community.

[02:45]

He started practicing with Suzuki Roshi in 1964, was ordained as a priest by him in 1969, served as Abbot of Zen Center, all while also building the Berkeley Zen Center into this long-standing, thriving practice place. So he's a great friend and teacher to many of us. So even while there's much to grieve and sit with and talk about with respect to what's happening in the world right now, those of us who were close to Mel are feeling very immediately this great loss and with it our great appreciation for this wonderful teacher. as Fu expressed in her own words so beautifully a couple of Sundays ago. So that will be the theme of our gathering this morning to honor Sojan and share some of his teaching and impact.

[03:53]

So there are three of us teachers here in residence at Green Goalch who are Dharma heirs. of males, that is to say, recipients of Dharma transmission from him. So today, for the talk this morning, each of the three of us will share some reflections on our now late teacher, Sojin Roshi. So these three are Steve Weintraub, Sarah Tashker, and myself. And so we'll hear from Steve, and then I'll offer some reflections, and then Sarah, And then we'll close with a short clip of a recorded talk that Mel gave a couple of years ago. Thank you again. And I will pass the microphone to Steve. Thank you, Jiryu. And good morning, everyone. I'm getting occasional messages on my screen here that says,

[05:00]

The internet is unstable. And while this does reflect the instability of all things, I'm concerned that you can all hear me. So, good. Let me know if that changes. And I also want to echo Jiryu's words about the major events in our national life. I've been very following it closely as I'm sure many of you have and feel strongly about such things. But As Jiryu said this morning, today, we'll speak about Mel.

[06:07]

And for the last week or so, two weeks, I've had this photograph on my desk. So this is Sojin Roshi, Mel Weitzman. And those are his hands. And for most of the time I knew him, he did not have a beard and a mustache, and he kept his hair, head shaved. But I think in these last months of his life, he let those grow. And lastly, this photo is taken at Berkeley Zen Center. He's sitting in the abbot's seat at Berkeley Zen Center. And right next to the abbot seat is the altar for Suzuki Roshi. So as you can see, the photo of Suzuki Roshi is just above his right shoulder, which is not incidental.

[07:18]

So I thought I'd start by talking about a memory Shortly after I came to San Francisco to practice at Zen Center, I hitchhiked from New York City, where I was born and raised, and came in September of 1968. And interesting the way memory plays tricks on one. I thought what I'm about to relate happened just shortly after I arrived. But according to Jiryu's chronology, it actually happened a year after I arrived. Nevertheless, from this perspective, it's still shortly after I arrived. and began practicing at Zen Center at that time, Sokoji on Bush Street in San Francisco.

[08:35]

And the word got around that Suzuki Roshi was going to be ordaining someone as a priest. This fellow, Mel Weitzman, over in Berkeley, So one of the first things I remember about being at Zen Center was going over to Berkeley, where I had never been before, and going up to the attic of this house on Dwight Way, which is where the Berkeley Zen Center was at that time, and seeing Suzuki Roshi shave Mel's head as part of the priest ordination ceremony. So my contact with him, association with him, has been for a long time, since then.

[09:45]

And it was very unusual to attend an ordination, unlike nowadays at Zen Center, there were Almost no priests, no ordained people. Suzuki Roshi, Katagiri Roshi, Richard Baker, but he was in Japan. Graham Petchy, he I think also was in Japan. Anyway, it was very unusual. So this was a big event. It made an impression on me. At that time, Suzuki Roshi, so to speak, sent out three different people in different directions. He sent someone to the north, someone to the south, and someone to the east.

[11:00]

Bill Kwong, He sent north to a small town just across the Golden Gate Bridge, Mill Valley. And later, Bill moved to Sonoma, Sonoma Mountain Center, Jakusho Kuang Roshi. And south, he sent Les K. down the peninsula to what we now call Silicon Valley. And east he sent Mel to Berkeley. So for Mel and for Bill,

[12:05]

and less, and many of us at that time, the energy, the fuel, the charge, the charge in our practice came from Suzuki Roshi. the inspiration for our practice came from Suzuki Roshi. From, you know, from his words, what he said in Dharma talks, although I think mostly we didn't understand what he was talking about. Excuse me.

[13:06]

We didn't understand it, but nevertheless, it was important and good. Maybe some people understood it, but many of us didn't, I think. So the teaching came from his mouth, but also from Suzuki Rishi's, what he did, how he was, who he was. one could almost say that was the main teaching. And similarly, for Mel, how he was on a day-to-day basis in our ordinary day-to-day life was

[14:12]

Such an important part of his teaching, one could say, was the teaching, is the teaching. So this motive force that was the inspiration from Suzuki Roshi was the through line, the the, I don't know what to call it, the constant theme of Mel's life, of Mel's practice, life, life. Practice life and life were not two separate things. And even though this Inspiration from Suzuki Roshi was what motivated many different people.

[15:17]

Each person took it somewhat differently, emphasized one part, emphasized a different part, saw it somewhat differently, each one. Fundamentally the same, but some different expression. One of the phrases in Zen that Suzuki Roshi liked a lot is the phrase, nothing special. That our practice is nothing special. Nothing special means everything is special. It means that there isn't some special thing or some special experience or some special state of mind or some special activity that is the realization of our practice.

[16:41]

Rather, whatever the thing and the experience and the state of mind, whatever those are, is the opportunity to live fully, to live deeply. to live thoroughly. Each unspecial thing is the opportunity for this special full life, which is very special, to emerge. The awakening of the spirit of practice. This is what Mel, I'd say, I'd say he's specialized in not being special.

[17:58]

This may not be. This may not be the right thing to say. Some people, I think, found Mel charismatic, but he was pretty ordinary. He wasn't so charismatic. Or Dharma talks. You know, sometimes people would attend a Dharma talk and then it would be like, wow, that was, wow, that blew my mind. People would say things in those days like that. I don't know if they say that anymore. It blew my mind. It's a very dated expression. But his talks, usually they didn't blow your mind. Mel's talks. They were not so special. Nothing special in that way.

[19:06]

But what was there was... What communicated itself in body, speech, and mind was the constancy of practice, the constancy of approaching our life from practice mind, from beginner's mind, from open mind, open to big mind, from a mind not focused on smaller concerns. That's what was coming forward. One time he told me, we were talking, and he was telling me what he thought a priest's life, a Zen priest's life was. He said Zen priest.

[20:11]

I don't remember the context. We were talking about Zen priest, but I think... Oh, I see. I'm getting toward the end of my time, so I'll try to briefly say a few more things. And he said something very much like what I'm trying to express. He said, a priest is not somebody who does a particular thing or looks a particular way or so on and so forth, but rather we're... The priest is here and they approach everything from the perspective of practice, whether it's zazen or driving to work or talking to one's spouse or grandfather or grandchild. That's what a priest is. That's what a practitioner is, a committed, serious practitioner.

[21:11]

And that's what came across with Mel. There are two other stories that I want to relate that are reflective of this same feeling, this same teaching. One of them is quite personal for me and was and is has been very important. So maybe that's all I can do is this one story. So for a few years, leading up to Dharma Transmission, Mel and I would meet. And of course, when we met, we would, hello, how are you? How are things? Good. How are you? Good. And then we'd sit down and study some text together. So one time, I saw him, met him.

[22:17]

He said, how are you? I said, wobbly. He said, oh, you mean wobbly Buddha. So this was very encouraging to me because, of course, I felt to be wobbly means not Buddha, means being the foolish person that I was. not clear, not completed. I was not at the end of my practice journey having completed it successfully.

[23:26]

That ain't wobbly. Wobbly is I'm struggling. Things are difficult. It's not so easy. I don't have so much confidence. That's wobbly. So what does it mean? Oh, you mean wobbly Buddha. It means, or one way of understanding what it means, that I've understood it to mean, is that even in wobbly is Buddha. Buddha does not inhere in some particular elevated esoteric state of mind or some particular... or some particular fantastic-looking thing or another. Even in Wobbly is Buddha. This is really, or maybe to say a little more accurately, even in Wobbly is the opportunity for Buddha to come, for Buddha to arrive, for Kuan Yin and Manjushri to come.

[24:41]

come and join us that there is no obstruction the dew drop does not obstruct the light of the moon even a puddle an inch wide reflects the whole sky and the entire universe so I'll stop there respectfully and bow to Mel and to this wonderful teaching that he was so kind to show me and to show us. Thank you. Thank you, Steve.

[26:05]

Thank you, everybody. I wanted to... Can you hear me? Yeah? Yeah? Okay, good. Thank you. So... Many of my most recent memories of being with Mel are from the last couple of years during which he and I were working together very sweetly, if a little bit sporadically, on a project of editing some of Suzuki Roshi's talks for a forthcoming book, another book of his lectures. I feel really grateful for that time with Mel. talking over with him so carefully the words of his teacher and his deep feeling for what Suzuki Roshi meant and who he was.

[27:16]

So on one occasion, I remember us laughing together in appreciation for the depth and resonance of these particular words of Suzuki Roshi's in a talk where Suzuki Roshi is commenting on a koan called Scented Herbs Falling Flowers about our ancestor Chosha. Suzuki Roshi said that Chosha's mental activity is free from any trace of previous activity. Celebrating the clear mind of this great ancestor. And then Suzuki Roshi went on to comment. It is important to have a good memory and to be able to go into every detail of your activities so that effective decisions can be made. Yet one's mind cannot respond to the coming of new objects into consciousness if it is full of the traces of former thinking.

[28:20]

It is useless to remember everything. There is no point in remembering things just so we can cry, be jealous or be proud. The mind should be spotless so that everything may be observed as it is. If the mind is free from the traces of past thinking and is always clear, without tainted ideas or desires, then it will always be calm and natural, like the flowers that come out in springtime or the red leaves that turn in the autumn. Your mind and your nature will have the same pace. When you have reached this stage, your everyday life is called the life of Yusan Gansui, the life of wandering about mountains and waters. So these words have special poignance for me now as I strain to remember Mel so I can share something of him with you and so I can somehow bring him closer through some image or some memory.

[29:32]

It is useless to remember everything. There is no point in remembering things just so we can cry. Be jealous or be proud. The mind should be spotless so that everything may be observed as it is. These last couple of days, many memories of Mel have been flooding back to me and I do really welcome and appreciate them. And honestly, I don't feel that I need to dig up or hold on to memories of Mel. And I really mean that for him and for me and for you. I really mean that. I don't feel I need to remember this great teacher. What I carry of his is not memories of him. It's my faith in this mind that doesn't need to produce a memory.

[30:37]

my faith in the mind that's freed from traces of past thinking. I don't need to put a memory into my mind or anything into my mind in order to honor him and carry out his teaching, which isn't to say I don't constantly reach for things and try to fill my mind, but this faith that I don't need to. There's another way. There's a way of living freed from traces of past thinking, freed from calculation of future thinking. I'll often use the term, at least with me, intuitive wisdom. And this intuitive wisdom for him, for us in our practice, was embodied. So embodied intuitive wisdom of the belly center, if you want to get specific. Intuitive. embodied wisdom of the belly center.

[31:40]

So that's what can live when the mind is allowed to be clear and not grasping at things like beautiful memories of my late beloved teacher. Mel was an artist, as many of you know, and I think just a deeply intuitive person by nature. I think that in Zen he found a way to cultivate this intuition, which he already had, I think, as a nature, but that needed cultivation and finding in Zen this possibility of cultivating this intuition, grounding his life and action in something deeper than calculation or thought, something more immediate, more trustworthy. which I think is art and I think is Zen and is the freedom and spontaneity, for sure, of the Zen masters, the ancient ones that we read about and the ones that we have the privilege to live with.

[32:49]

So I first encountered Mal at Tosahara, and my friend Gabe described him as, you know, like, oh, that guy, you know, that guy over there, He's just sitting there, just sitting there, waiting to be activated. He's just, you know, he's eating lunch, sitting at a table, just waiting to be activated, doing absolutely nothing. It's kind of like the image of the frog and the fly from Zen Mind Beginner's Mind. And I feel that was Mel's sort of basic posture, just clear of traces of mind, of past and future. just deeply present and deeply still, and simply, totally, straightforwardly ready for whatever would happen, whatever might come next. So waiting to be activated was that first description I heard of Mel, and it still resonates for me now.

[33:58]

So I met Mel in 1996 and was able to have one very impactful conversation with him then. But our full teacher-student relationship didn't come together until around 2005 when I was back from about a year and a half in Japan, more confused than ever about Zen practice and what Zen practice had or didn't have to do with whatever was happening here at Zen Center. And at that time, I had the opportunity to do a practice period with Mel at Tossahara. And it was just profoundly formative and liberating for me. In our first conversation at that practice period, he said to me totally bluntly, you are standing at the edge of a great pit. And he was right. I don't know if I was standing at the edge like I hadn't been in it or if I was climbing out and standing at it because I just climbed out.

[35:07]

Later he explained in a different way by speaking to me with great and sincere, I would say pity, pity, compassion, pity about Zen practitioners who after 20 or 30 years are still trying to get enlightened. It's like his wish for me that I not be someone who after 20 or 30 years is still trying to get enlightened. And that really moved me. Not just his words about that, but his life expressing this different way of practicing Zen. They could unstick me from a toxic view, really unhelpful view of Zen practice. So why not still try to get enlightened after 20 or 30 years? We all have a lot of work yet to do until Buddhahood. And we vow to attain Buddhahood.

[36:09]

And it's worth some great effort to do our practice. So many examples of our ancestors never flagging in their efforts after 20, 30, 40, 50, 80 years. So why not? Why not? try still to get enlightened. Is it that these mature practitioners Malhadimind already got it? So you shouldn't have to still be trying to get enlightenment by 20 or 30 years because you should have gotten it by then. So in a sense, yeah, in a sense, he did say once that his transmitted disciples all were enlightened, which before my Dharma transmission intrigued me. And just... concerned me, I would say, after transmission. So in the deeper sense, they're not trying anymore to become enlightened. Not so much because they've already become enlightened.

[37:12]

They're not trying anymore to become enlightened because it's just not like that. It's not something we try for. Our practice and our enlightenment is the truth of our life, which we live in with faith and presence. It's just this truth of life, this life that we live and express rather than something we see or get or become. So we're outside of us. So Mel's practice, I think, like Suzuki Roshi's, was just much more simple and ordinary and straightforward than... still trying to get enlightened after 20 or 30 years. So I also just want to raise up and appreciate Mel's ordinariness and share with you, maybe through that story, a picture of how liberative that ordinariness was for me. This example of someone with great depth and

[38:15]

great presence in a thoroughly ordinary way of being. I think it was natural for him that a deep practitioner of Zen would be a thoroughly ordinary person. It's not ordinary instead of deep. It's not ordinary so like you don't have to practice or to give up practice, but just living fully and straightforwardly in our real depths. As Steve said, the specialness of nothing special in our actual life. So maybe a last point I'd like to share is just about his way of teaching, just an aspect of this ordinariness, this confidence that he had and that he radiated that the practice is teaching. It's sort of like... He taught by practicing. He didn't do anything in addition to practice in order to teach.

[39:18]

I don't think he felt he needed to teach anything in particular. But he taught explicitly sometimes and just expressed in his life that we share practice just by doing our practice. You know, if you'll forgive the hippiness of the expression, he, I think, actually used the term vibrate. that our practice vibrates, our practice, we vibrate, practice vibrates, and our practice vibrates with the practice of those around us. That's all. So our practice vibrates and it harmonizes with the practice of others, whether any of us know it or not. And trusting practice is to trust that our practice is being communicated, transmitted, vibrating with harmonizing, calling into harmony, everything around us, everyone else's practice that they know or don't have. or don't know, have, you know, think they have or don't have. So that we're, through just practicing our simple practice, we're connected with everyone's practice, we're connected with the world's practice, not by adding anything or doing anything or saying anything in particular, but just by its vibration.

[40:23]

All those who live with you and speak with you will obtain endless Buddha virtue and will unroll widely inside and outside of the entire universe. So he would say, we teach through kind of osmosis. We just pick it up from each other. So teaching and studying with Mel was sometimes formal. Could be, you know, reading something carefully or having dokusan. But he really was just as happy to have lunch together. There was nothing that needed to be worked out or to be said. It was just about being together and letting our practice bodies harmonize while we did our daily business. So his practice was so ordinary, it was hard to see sometimes. I remember asking him once, and this is the last story, I think it was on the way back from lunch, you know, can I come over for dokasan? Sure, let's have lunch. And you realize pretty quickly, you know, there's no need to bring a Dharma question.

[41:30]

So on the way back from lunch, I asked him, I just said, are you even practicing? Are you practicing? And I was surprised. He was a little bit offended. which indicates maybe he thought he was practicing. He wasn't very offended. But that feeling that his practice was seamless, there was no special effort. There was a profound steadiness in his practice and sincerity every day in the Zendo. Steady practice, but utterly simple, utterly ordinary, just a deep, relaxed, ready to be activated grasping at nothing total stillness so it was hard to miss you know this person the the depths of this person the stillness of this person and it was also impossible to get a handle on it what are you doing exactly how do you do that but anyway we don't need to get a handle on it we can just do it along with him i don't feel i need to get a handle on it now

[42:38]

I just want to appreciate him and express my gratitude for having been able to practice with him. And as we say in our dedicatory verse, may our life reveal his compassion. Thank you. than any particular teaching from or story about Sojin, what comes to my mind to share today is a feeling. I've heard that in the early days of Zen Center, one thing that Suzuki Roshi was trying to convey

[43:50]

was the flavor of the teacher-disciple relationship. In one exchange I read from an early talk with a student in response to a question about Dharma transmission, Suzuki Roshi said, sometimes when I become lonely, I talk about transmission with Reverend Katagiri. When will American people understand the meaning of transmission? He laughs. It may be it will take a pretty long time for you to understand the full meaning of transmission. After many years, I started to realize what my master taught. This kind of feeling seldom appears in relationship between father and his boy. It appears just between master and disciple. His master is more valuable or more important or more vital for him than his parents for a Buddhist.

[45:00]

When we have a new temple, we offer incense to the state, to the country, and to the Buddha, and to our master. And everyone cries. When he offers the incense to his master, he laughs. Usually, when he offers incense to the Buddha, he does not cry. When he offers incense to the country, he never cries. He laughs. But before he offers incense to his master, it is like this. He is not there. He has already passed away. But that is how we feel. That is transmission. Sojin gave a wonderful talk a couple of years ago, the one we will play an excerpt of.

[46:06]

It was on the day before his 89th birthday. I thought it was a very good talk. And it's still on the website. It's from July 8th, 2018. And he called it, what are we doing here? Or what are we doing anywhere? And in it, he shares this koan about Dao Wu and Long Tan. Having served his master as an attendant for some time, Long Tan expressed his displeasure. Since coming here, I have not received any essential instructions about mind from you, master. Dao Wu replied, Ever since you arrived, I have not ceased for a moment to give you essential instructions about the mind. Perplexed, Long Tan said, On what points have you instructed me? Dao Wu replied, Whenever you bring me tea,

[47:12]

I take it from your hands. Whenever you serve a meal, I accept it and eat it. Whenever you bow to me, I lower my head in response. On what points have I failed to show you the essence of mind? After sharing this story in the talk, Sojin says, This always makes me very emotional because it's such a simple, truthful way to express our practice. This makes me emotional too because that was Sojin's practice. That was his way. The way that Sojin practiced with me And so many of us was simple and truthful, working together, sitting together, eating food, drinking tea, bowing to one another.

[48:28]

When he was dying, I told Sojin, I love you. And he responded, I know. And instantly, or maybe even before I said it, I knew it. I knew he did. I understood the truth of it from all our years of practicing together, of drinking tea and bowing to one another. the simple, truthful intimacy that words do not reach. Sojin had many, many students, many disciples. Many were lay ordained, priest ordained, received lay entrustment.

[49:43]

And he has about 30 Dharma-transmitted heirs. I was the last to receive Dharma transmission from him at Tassahara in the fall of 2019. We were down there. My wonderful Dharma sister, Karen Dakotis, was also receiving Dharma transmission. And Alan and Lori Sanaki were there and Kika. When we were there was when we all learned, including Sojin, about his illness, his cancer. He ended up leaving in the middle of the ceremonies to go to the hospital where he started the diagnosis. So this last phase of our relationship as teacher and disciple has been punctuated by an acute awareness of the preciousness of having a teacher.

[50:56]

As the mystery of what exactly is transmitted and how to care for it and how to care for the lineage that has been entrusted to me. has begun unfolding. And so these words of Suzuki Roshi, which I will read to you, spoken about his own teacher, his own transmission, particularly resonated with me then during that ceremony I did with Sojin and also now. Generally speaking, actually, before you become your teacher's disciple, you may receive his transmission. After receiving transmission, long, long time after you receive transmission, you will realize, he laughs, what transmission was, who your teacher was.

[52:06]

Oh, he was my teacher. You will realize that when it is too late, maybe. But you will come to that point if you continue in your practice. So there is no need to worry, he laughs, even though you receive transmission or lay ordination. Before, you don't know exactly what it was, even though you were ordained, before you have much understanding about the ordination ceremony. That is okay, I think. If you feel some commitment to continue your practice, then it is okay. Someday you will realize it. From the beginning, I thought Gyokujin Soan was my teacher. But I found out many years later that I was not his disciple at that time. Suzuki Roshi laughs.

[53:06]

I thought I was. I had a strong conviction of being my teacher's disciple, but I found out that I was not his disciple in its true sense. Now, I think I am his disciple. But I don't know how I will feel next year, he laughs. Next year, I may say, oh, last year I was his disciple, yes. In this way, He laughs. Your teacher is always with you. But sometimes you feel he is not your teacher or he was not your teacher. And sometimes he will not be your teacher. He laughs. But it is okay. You will be his teacher. Teacher and disciple is that kind of relationship. Day after day, we have strong conviction in our relationship. But that is not complete. Our relationship should be extended forever.

[54:09]

So you are bound to be your teacher's disciple. It does not mean you should stick to the idea of relationship between teacher and disciple. Whether you stick to it or not, the relationship is there. Buddha is taking care of it, whether you understand it or not. Our relationship between teacher and disciple is so wide and so deep that we cannot, our small mind cannot understand what it is. So there is no other way to understand the relationship between teacher and disciple. So anyway, day by day, you should bow to him. That is the only way. It is day-to-day practice and practice just for that moment. Even though you don't bow to him, you are related to him. So if you don't, you don't feel good.

[55:15]

If you do, you feel good. That's all. It is not so difficult a thing to bow to him. So better to bow to him, even though you don't know who he is. Perhaps you may not understand what I am saying right now. But actually, if you have someone you can trust, you will feel good. And if you have someone who you can entrust your responsibility to, you will feel good. In this way, we can live forever. We will have eternal life in trusting our responsibility, sharing our responsibility. That is the relationship between teacher and disciple.

[56:16]

These are the things that make the simple things that make Zen or Buddhism difficult. The simplicity and directness of our practice is what makes it difficult because we always want to complicate everything. So this is a little story within the story. There was a very well-known Zen master in the Tang Dynasty, the ninth century. Dao Wu was his name. Dao Wu, Dao Wu's way of teaching can be gathered from how he dealt with his disciple, Lung Tan. Lung Tan was a little boy.

[57:36]

First part of this is the first part of the ninth century. Long time, the boy came from a poor family who made their living by selling pastry. Little little pastries, sometimes called mind refreshers. Dao Wu knew him as a boy and recognized in him great spiritual potentialities. He housed Lung Tan's family in a hut belonging to the monastery. To show his gratitude, Lung Tan made a daily offering of 10 little cakes to the master. The master accepted the cakes, but every day he consumed only nine and returned the remaining one to Lung Tan saying, This is my gift to you in order to prosper your descendants.

[58:40]

One day, long time became curious, saying to himself, I bring him the cakes. How is it then that he returns one of them to me as a present? Can there be some secret meaning here? And so the young boy made bold to put the question before the master and the master said, What's wrong? What wrong is there? to restore to you what originally belonged to you. So Lung Tan apprehended the hidden meaning and decided to be his novice, a novice with him, attending upon the master with great diligence. After some time, Lung Tan said to the master. Since I came here, I have not received any essential instructions on the mind from you. This is mind seeking mind. And the master replied, ever since you came, I have not ceased for a moment to give you essential instructions about the mind.

[59:49]

More mystified than ever, the disciple asked, on what points have you instructed me? And the master replied, whenever you bring me the tea, I take it from your hands. Whenever you serve the meal, I accept it and eat it. Whenever you bow to me, I bow back to you with my head and I lower my head in response. And what points have I failed to show you the essence of mind? Long time lowered his head and remained silent for a long time. The master said. For true perception, you must see right on the spot. As soon as you begin to ponder and reflect, you miss it.

[60:52]

This always makes it very emotional. Because there's such a simple, truthful way to express our practice. We will now chant the closing verse. May our intention equally extend to every being and place with the true merit of Buddha's way.

[62:08]

Beings are numberless. I vow to save them. Delusions are inexhaustible. I vow to end them. Dharma gates are boundless. I vow to enter them. Buddha's way is unsurpassable. I vow to be coming. I want to thank everyone for coming today. Please know that we do rely on your donations now more than ever. If you feel supported by the Dharma offerings of our temples, please consider supporting San Francisco Zen Center with a donation at this time. Any size is gratefully appreciated. The link will show in the chat window with ways to donate.

[63:11]

We will also now take a five minute break. If anybody who needs to leave wants to say goodbye, you can unmute yourselves now. And we'll be back in about five minutes for if there's any questions or comments or if others have memories of the sojourn that they'd like to share. We could do so in a couple minutes when we come back. Thank you. Bye, Sarah. Bye. Hi, everybody. Thank you all so much. Thank you.

[64:14]

Thank you. Maybe we can begin again.

[69:19]

And this is a chance, if anyone else wants to share some memory or expression of Sojin Roshi's teaching, that would be wonderful to hear. Also, if there's some comment you'd like to make or question for any of the speakers today, you're welcome to do so. So you can just go ahead and raise your hand digitally or wave into the camera and we should see you. Thank you. also okay to end here if you'd wish.

[70:47]

Looks like there might be a question from Anna. Hello. Hello, teacher. Can you hear me? We can hear you, Anna. Anna, we can't hear you.

[72:16]

Are you maybe having a connection issue? Her connection is unstable. Maybe we can come back to her. Maybe Maggie? Hi. Thank you for your talk. All of you, I'm sorry, I miss a lot of it, but I did get to catch the end. And I just wanted to share that I had Doka-san with Mel once in Atasahara after like a really challenging time. And I don't remember what he said, but I remember that it made me feel better. And I guess I just wanted to share that. I don't have a lot of experience with Mel. I know that a lot of people who I... and connected with and respect do. And he just always seemed like a wonderful, wonderful presence.

[73:19]

And I just wanted to express my gratitude for his teaching in my time of need. It was really, it was really lovely. I'd love to find, maybe someday I'll find my journal if I wrote down what he said, and then I'll be able to remember. But anyway, I just wanted to be part of the community during this time. Thanks again for giving us the opportunity. Thank you, Maggie. You don't have to find your journal. Keep the feeling. It's nice to see you. Steve, there was a request in the chat for you to share your last story that you didn't get to. If you feel up for that, the people are clamoring for it. Certainly. Can you hear me okay? Yes?

[74:21]

Thumbs up? Okay. Well, I really appreciated Jiryu and Sarah, what you both had to say. And so much the feeling that I get is how the teaching is conveyed not just by words. And Maggie, in what you said also, even though words were involved, as you say, I didn't remember it. I just felt better afterward. And that resonates with my own sense of practice and that sense of practice by osmosis, which Suzuki Roshi made a big point of. in many ways, one of which was he said, you know, if you fall asleep during my Dharma talks, this is Suzuki Roshi, not Mel.

[75:30]

If you fall asleep during my Dharma talks, it's okay because the talk will enter through your skin, he said. That's top notch. That's really something. So What I was going to say, which just off the top of my head I think is connected to what you were saying, Jiryu, and what you were saying, Sarah, is humility, that it's not exactly the same as ordinary, but it's connected.

[76:30]

Not exactly the same as nothing special, but connected. So I remembered earlier, and then the memory became more and more clear for me, speaking of memories, So in 1993, Steve Stuckey and Paul Haller and I received Dharma transmission from Mel at Tassahara. And if my memory serves me correctly, it was after all the ceremonies were done, the four of us, maybe the morning after, the four of us went to Suzuki Roshi's Asha site on the hog back. And we were standing there.

[77:34]

I don't remember if it was before or after we offered incense and water. But I recall pretty clearly we were standing, the three of us. and Mel and he said to us I am not so good you are good but I'm not so good so you know, in the same way that each of us has been speaking about something very meaningful, something important that was conveyed by him.

[78:36]

This was, this was, this was, this, it really made an impression on me, a big impression. And Linda Ruth, the woman I'm married to, reminded me that he said something similar, actually, when he ascended the mountain seat to become abbot at San Francisco Zen Center. And connecting this with teaching, somewhere, not sure where, maybe somebody knows, Maybe in Dogen or somewhere, I believe, some Zen master said, some Zen mistress or Zen master said, a Buddha is someone who sees others as Buddha.

[79:50]

That's really striking. A Buddha is somebody who sees others as Buddha. For many of us, I think we would feel, what about me? What about me? But apparently, it doesn't have anything to do with me. So, again, to see Buddha in wobbly, to see Buddha in, upset to see Buddha in whatever state of mind we happen to be in, whatever circumstance and activity we are in. To see Buddha in others is Buddha. So that was my other story that I wanted to say. Thank you. Jessica and maybe Norbert or Jessica.

[81:09]

Jessica, can you unmute yourself? Okay. Now I have two questions. One question earlier was, I think it was when you were talking to you about holidays. which as I get older, I hated holidays. You were talking about special or something. You know, that whole thing of, you used a word, how can I forget it now? But anyway, the specialness of holidays just absolutely drives me crazy. I'll just say that. And then the other thing is, is there really Buddha in everybody? I mean, he said that Buddha is in a lot of... lot of people, but is there a Buddha? Does everybody have the potential for the Buddha or has the possibility of Buddha? That would be for Stephen, I guess.

[82:18]

Yes, thank you. May I say? So, yes, thank you. Thank you, Jessica, for clarifying that. I keep meaning to say the possibility of. Because there's certainly many things that occur that ain't Buddha at all. But that possibility is very encouraging, that it's already there and needs to be, or not needs to be, but can be awakened. We can move in that direction. That's our practice, moving in that direction. We don't ever get there. That's okay. Just keep moving in that direction. And that's the good news. That's the encouragement from Zen. And you don't rule... What's that? You don't rule anybody out. No, not anybody. Not even the person you're thinking of, who I'm thinking of.

[83:22]

That's what I wanted. Thank you. Norbert, I couldn't tell. Did you have a question or a comment? No? Shall we leave it there for today? Or maybe someone else has something to... Oh, thank you. Yeah, we can... Okay, shall we just leave it there? Thank you everybody for coming. Thank you. Thank you, everyone. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you all very much. Thank you all.

[84:24]

Bye-bye. You're welcome. Bye-bye. Thank you for your memories of Mel. Appreciation, appreciation, appreciation. Thank you for your beautiful stories. Yes. Thank you and goodbye. Thank you, everybody. Goodbye. Thank you, Sarah. Thank you, Steve. Thank you to you. Appreciate your sharing. Thank you.

[85:22]

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