This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Well, it's nice to be here. A sea of faces. What an amazing sight. Too bad you can't see it. I recommend to everybody at least once to have a chance to sit up here and see a sea of faces. It's beautiful. So this morning, I want to talk to you about time, which seems like an odd, abstract or too complicated subject. What are we going to say about time? And yet, time is possibly the most basic thing, right?

[01:07]

Right now, even if we never have the idea of time or mention the word time, we're all in the middle of time. Time is all around us. Or maybe it's not all around us. Maybe it's inside us. Or maybe it's inside us and also all around us. Or maybe there isn't any time at all. Maybe time is just a concept, an idea, an illusion, a theory. I read a few scientific books about time lately, which more or less say this. In the light of relativity and quantum physics, we can say pretty much for sure that we actually don't know what time is. or whether there actually is any such thing as time. Certainly time couldn't be a thing, right?

[02:11]

And it's not a substance. Is it a mental state? What is it? What is time? Despite this confusion, here we are, in time, as time, surrounded by time, swimming in time. And time... is really the Buddha's main teaching. Right? Everything is impermanent. Things arise and pass away. You could, I think, telescope the entire Buddhism into that. Which seems like kind of such a simple-minded, nonsensical, commonsensical thing. Things are impermanent, yes. But the more you get into it, and I think we do get into it fairly deeply with meditation practice, the less commonsensical it seems to be.

[03:19]

Because you realize that things arise and pass away at the same time. Simultaneously arising and passing away. which means that nothing actually is as we imagine it to be. And that's why we're suffering. Because we are fairly convinced that we're here, that the world is here, that things are here as we imagine they are. In relation to all that, we have desires and fears that we want satisfied and alleviated. Little by little we realize it just isn't working. As the Heart Sutra teaches, all dharmas are empty. To truly understand, embrace, and live this teaching is to be free of illusions, free from suffering, released to the endless love and connection without any sticky impediments.

[04:29]

That is the way things really are. So although time is the main basic Buddhist teaching, not that many sages over the generations have talked about time directly, time per se. But Dogen did. And one of his most famous essays is Uji. That word is usually translated, the title of the essay, Uji, is usually translated as Being Time. which is an accurate translation, but Uji can also be translated with a more ordinary English idiom, which apparently has its equivalent in Chinese and Japanese. And this is the way I think Dogen meant it. And the idiom is, we say, for the time being. It's an ordinary, everyday expression, but a very profound one when you think about it. Well, yes, I'm here for the time being.

[05:34]

Interesting phrase. This essay of Dogan's is notoriously hard to understand, but it's one of my favorites, and I've many times studied it and talked about it, as have many, many others. I have no doubt if you went on the Internet and, you know, Googled commentaries to Uji or commentaries to Being Time, you'd find hundreds of them. A few years ago, I gave a workshop at Upaya Zen Center in Santa Fe on this text. And so we had many sessions of going over every word of it. And I was trying to figure out how to make it clearer to people. So as I was in the weekend, I made my own translation using all the different English versions. I was trying to stick to the original, but make it more clear. make it more so that people could understand better.

[06:40]

A year or so after that weekend, and I apologize for my voice, frog got into my throat somehow in the night. A year or so after that workshop, my dear friend, the avant-garde poet, Leslie Scalapino, died too soon for her time. as probably many of our friends and your friends, she got pancreatic cancer. And when you get pancreatic cancer, you go from being perfectly fine, nothing's wrong, to dying. It doesn't take just usually a few months. It's kind of shocking. That's what happened to our abbot, Yogan, Steve Stuckey, same thing. So we lost Leslie, and she was an amazing person, a really unusual person.

[07:47]

You would meet her, and immediately obvious how unusual and profound a person she was. She was a great poet, and not, incidentally, a student of Dogen and of Uji. When you lose a friend in that particular way, I guess it's... somehow is more sensible when someone gets a chance to become old, older, and very old and pass on. It's sort of easier to understand, but when someone all of a sudden is fine and fully functioning and doing a bunch of things and then in a few months they're gone, it's very confusing. What is death after all? Where did we come from and where are we going? To be honest with you, I find it absolutely impossible to understand death I do not get it I don't like it that much either but whether I like it or not I definitely don't get it and I've been brooding about it my entire life ever since I was a little boy honestly I've been brooding over this problem which is probably why I'm sitting here now looking at this beautiful sea of faces

[09:06]

And especially when you're a poet living in language and illuminated by language. What is death? Do you die when your language, the language in which you fully lived, is still alive? Or is that language still alive? Or was it ever alive? And can language be alive? And do we all, anyway, all of us, live in our language, our thoughts, our feelings, our identities, in which we express ourselves in language? And after a word is spoken, where does it go? So, with all these questions in my mind and in my heart, I began...

[10:11]

writing although that's not really the word a long poem called magnolias all at once and it's a tribute in a conversation with leslie it's the first poem i've ever written in which not a single word of the poem is mine none of the words in the poem magnolias all at once are mine it's a collage of my version of Dogen's Uji, with quotations from Leslie. And that's the book. So, knowing I was giving the Dharma talk today, I had a whole other talk planned, but just about yesterday or the day before, a box came in the mail with the first copies of Magnolias all at once, so I couldn't resist coming today to talk to you about it. So I'm going to... share with you some words from Magnolias all at once which will be Dogen's words and Leslie's words I think you'll be able to tell the difference although in the text they're just the words just go along without any you know it doesn't say Leslie Dogen it just goes along for the time being means

[11:39]

that time is being and being is time, at least for the time being. There is no time other than being, and there is no being other than time, and no time other than the time being, at least for the time being. A serene saint is for the time being. Because of this, time itself is serenely illuminated. The study of time is not abstract. Abstract study is time, but it is not about time. Time is always studied in living time. Study time in being as you are at any time. all of the time, and for the time being.

[12:44]

Being furious as a demon is for the time being. Being sharp, being dull, being ordinary is for the time being. Earth, sky, and sea are for the time being. Because all existence is time, nothing is separate. from the 24 hours we are actually living every day. Nothing is separate from the 24 hours we are actually living every day. In Mongolian tantric Buddhist tankas, some so large as to cover an entire wall, multiple images of the same figure dispersed evenly or different figures on multiple vertical horizontal landscapes are not deities. They are figures repeated as to be mind projections, as those repeat.

[13:49]

The repeated figures neither resolve nor reorder them itself as repetition, but it changes them. There's no depth. It's thin, always separate. As repeated figure, there is no hierarchy. Boat, [...] Intellect, Boat, [...] Intellect, Boat, [...] Boat Boat, boat, boat, intellect, boat, [...] intellect, boat, boat. Although we have not rigorously examined the 24 hours of the day to see how long and short they are,

[15:07]

We assume we know 24 hours as 24 hours. The traces of time having come and gone seem clear, so we do not doubt that these 24 hours have occurred. But though we have no doubt that time has occurred, in fact, we do not know for certain, because the past... is completely gone and therefore cannot possibly be concretely verified. So in truth, we are uncertain about each moment as we are always uncertain about things we can't be entirely sure of. Yet, it is impossible to know whether the uncertainty we experienced in the past about the past, or even the uncertainty of and about a moment ago, is anything like the uncertainty we are experiencing now.

[16:24]

Therefore, we should be uncertain of our uncertainty, not as certain of it as we often seem to be. Uncertainty is uncertain only for the time being. Uncertainty isn't uncertainty about something, anything, or nothing. Uncertainty is time. If one is to move oneself into the outside location and stay there, there is no time. and no neutrality. This is intentionality. Do anything, is, is, anti-landscape, boat, seamless, bud, is, aid, bud, [...] aid, bud, buds, bud, bud, aid, bud, bud, bud, aid, bud, do anything, buds, bud, is, anti-landscape, bud, bud, bud.

[17:36]

aid bud bud seamless buds boat anti-landscape buds do anything buds bud is anti-landscape bud bud bud what do we mean by me myself if we contemplate this far enough myself, my body, my position in space, and all that is involved with it is all-inclusive. The whole world of location is involved, each and every place and thing that occupies space, and each and every place and thing as actually being is only for the time being. Although it seems that things cannot occupy the same place at the same time and so necessarily limit one another, each vying for its place in its time, in fact, things do not limit each other.

[18:55]

Time moves freely, without hindrance, and my being in this moment does not hinder your being alone. in this moment, but embraces it. This means that love arises for the time being. The time being arises as love. In the same way, ongoing effort in spiritual practice and the joy and release of fully realized awakening to the reality of living arise as mutual functions, just as place and time function mutually for the time being. By one's figure, evening, enlightening where there is no horizon, only setting, moon,

[20:04]

and sun at once axis abandoned the floating moon and sun pool of horses running an immense gold plane but it is indigo sky that's evening horses running in front of far reflecting water lying on the plane pool where there running then on the floor in evening and lightning. Understand then that variety and diversity is limitless. The world can never be encompassed objectively. Yet each and every momentary appearance encompasses the whole of the world within its appearing here.

[21:14]

To study and experience this fact, to stop wishing for otherwise and elsewhere, or even thinking that there is or ever could be an otherwise or elsewhere, other than in those words themselves, which only mean for the time being, is the beginning of spiritual practice. Otherwise, and elsewhere, appear for the time being as longing. Knowing this, stop looking for something else. For wherever you are, whatever you are, everything is included. Nothing further is needed. Simply make the effort to understand what appears, recognizing that you never will understand, because appearance is too immense to be understood. The time being is awesome and illegible.

[22:23]

Hence, there is nothing but this moment for the time being. All the time there is, is all the being there is, all the myriads of worlds. Think about it. Is this moment lacking in any way, in any time, in any world? Can you see that everything is here, full and complete, wherever you are? Can you feel it for the time being? Separation of space, sky, rung, oh, sun there that is outside and outside itself, one's walking rose only and there outside rose, oh, outside of sky on its vertical space separates. time being flows.

[23:40]

But do not mistake this for movement from place to place like a rain cloud journeying east to west pressured by wind. Nor is it unmoving. The entire world is movement. There is nothing but flow. It's like spring. In spring many things arise and flourish. The flowing beauty of constant fluctuation. In spring, everything is spring. There's no place outside spring that spring could flow to or from which it has emerged. In spring, there is nothing excluded from spring, yet nothing can be found called spring. Spring doesn't arrive from someplace else or depart to another location when it is gone. Spring simply flows. In the same way, you flow.

[24:43]

You should study this well. Spring flows throughout spring. There is no corner of spring that doesn't flow as spring. But you can't find flow or something that flows. Yet spring occurs somehow. Spring flows as spring. Flow flows as spring. All life is springtime life. This is what we need to appreciate. This is how we need to live. Whatever you are doing, wherever you are, examine this. When you do, you will see that there is no objective world outside or inside you. There is no vastness that encompasses you. There are no eons of time behind or before you. Your time being is neither inside nor outside. It is neither here nor elsewhere. It is not small or large.

[25:47]

It is sufficient. To appreciate this is to appreciate the Buddha way. Red leaves, sea in freezing, morning, sitting in the middle of it. That's when inside one... freezing on red ground, inner walking and standing in it, it is freezing sky, inner as past, as being occurrence per se only, condition of red, leave, see as sky, that being inner as past itself. Not memory, yet memory occurs, a present, events, in freezing dawn, is at the same time as on red ground, inner occurs, so there, observing an event's soul not even occurring. Awakening is the koan of living a moment, the awesome wonder of being alive.

[26:54]

Expressing this wonder is simply going forward in living, opening the door that is always before you, Every moment of arriving brings complete freedom and letting go. Every moment not yet arriving carries everything in its fullness, which is its absence. Whatever comes, whatever doesn't come, is just for the time being. comparing the mind to magnolias or to sky because one sees. But comparing people's actions to sky or to war, to moon outside, is in that space then. Apprehend behavior, evening, ferocity even, from just one where there was no reason.

[28:00]

Bewildering. Doesn't seem bewildering if it's huge. in multitude, indentations, so that there even, one to evening, to no behavior evening, any event, a random space. So that's some from the book, kind of meditation on time and on death and on really my continuing beautiful relationship with a friend. So I want to end with another poem. This one is a short poem. And it's really a poem for today. It comes from a national project for poets that somebody invited me to participate in. I forget the name of the project, but this is what it's about. Every day this summer,

[29:01]

a poet from someplace in the country will write a poem in memory of someone who on that day has been killed by a run-in with the police. So the assumption is that every single day this summer that there will be such an incident somewhere in the country and so far it's been true. The purpose of the poem is to mark the death and mourn it. So they asked me to participate. And they gave me a certain day, which is today. So they sent me the article about the person and what happened. So I was to hand in the poem before midnight last night, which I did. And they sent me an email at 4 o'clock this morning. I was asleep, but the email came around 4 o'clock this morning from whatever time zone. the moderator is in.

[30:03]

And he or she, because the name is Carrie, I guess Carrie could be a woman or a man, I don't know. But the moderator said, thank you for the poem. It's a wonderful poem. But maybe it's a little too real and too sad. Couldn't I possibly think about revising the poem in some way so that it would be of some comfort to the people, you know, involved in this loss. And at first I thought, you know, this was a terrible event that happened. I can't think of a single comforting thing to say. But then I was thinking about my talk this morning and I was thinking about Uji and I then wrote a short coda to the poem and then I sent the poem back. I haven't heard from them again, whether they satisfied or not, but I think it's too late now. That's it, you know. Anyway, although I'm risking leaving you all in a very depressed and horrified state of mind, because this is not fun, but this is the poem.

[31:15]

And this is an actual event of today. And the title of the poem is Ellesmere, Kentucky, which is where this happened. Ellesmere police responded... a stabbing Thursday evening August 6 in Kenton County around 740 p.m. it happened at a residence in the 100 block of Seneca trail around 740 p.m. it happened at a residence in the 100 block of Seneca trail on a summer's evening warm breezes soft heavy air. An Ellesmere officer shot and killed, shot and killed, killed, killed, shot, shot and killed a man upon arrival.

[32:17]

They arrived. They had been elsewhere. They then arrived and upon arrival shot and killed a man. A woman inside was alive. upon the arrival of the police. She had been alive, but then, but later, after the arrival of the police and their shooting and killing of the man, died, died, also died. The stabbing, a domestic situation, later died, the woman died. There were two children at the scene. They were not involved, not shot, not killed, not stabbed, did not die. No names. had been released at this time, Gustavo Ponce Galone. Gustavo Ponce Galone, 42 years old. He was 42 years old. Gustavo Ponce Galone, he was 42 years old. The officer is uninjured.

[33:18]

And this is a quote in the poem. It's a traumatic experience, obviously, on the victim's side, the victim's family, and also on the officer. It is unclear how much of the incident the children witnessed. Investigators describe the scene as messy. A man, a woman, stabbed, shot, killed, dead. At the end of the day, night. At the end of the day, at the end of the night, again day. Where does a soul go? Done with a body, going on walking into the summer evening. So, this also is the time being. The time being is not always happy for us.

[34:22]

Every moment, right? Every moment of the time being of our life, your life, my life, something like this is happening. It's us. It's our life. It's our sorrow. It's our grief. It's our responsibility. And, also every moment, it's spring. Some place, in some heart. A beautiful child is born, learning to walk and speak, and bringing us renewal and hope, all of it, just for the time being. So it's always a real treat for me to come to Green Gulch and speak with all of you, because I lived here for so many years and sat in this Zendo every day for year after year after year,

[35:31]

and when I come in and bow to these statues, it takes my breath away. The beauty of our life that I always find expressed in the statues in the room here and in the sea of faces. So thank you all very much for being here and continuing to support Green Gulch, which is a a beacon of light in this world. So take care. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our programs are made possible by the donations we receive. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support.

[36:31]

For more information, visit sfzc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[36:43]

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