This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzz.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. This point in Sashin has a particular flavor and opportunity to it. You've been in Sashin long enough and it feels like it's been going on forever. The end isn't quite close enough that you can sort of hold your breath, shut your eyes and hold your breath and soon it'll be over.

[01:09]

But it's also significant in another way. There's a Buddhist teaching, Trilakshana, the three marks of existence. Sometimes it says in different places, in the Pali Canon and things, in the Vasudhi Magga, it says, these three marks... enable awakening. They express awakening. And the three marks are usually defined like this. No self, impermanence, and suffering. I remember the first time I read Thich Nhat Hanh's reworking. Interbeing, impermanence, and instead of dukkha, He put in sukha, intervening impermanence and pleasantness or joy or enjoy.

[02:27]

I remember thinking, works for me. Sinahan's a very interesting person, apart from being an utterly extraordinary practitioner. And having come through the fires of very difficult circumstances in his homeland, he speaks many of the Buddhist languages and has studied the original texts across those sutras and his point was this in relationship between dukkha and sukha if you remember long ago i said dukkha contracting in relationship to being and sukha opening becoming spacious in relationship to being

[03:41]

And they both come from the grind of being or the experience of being. And what is the path of liberation if not the engagement, the discovery, the realization of relating to this grind of being in a way that... brings forth the energy, the clarity of sukha. At this point in Shashin, I think for most of us, it's just another day. Okay, a little bit of rain. Okay, a lot of rain?

[04:49]

Okay. Okay, it stopped raining? Okay. Even our early dramas, you know, haven't exactly blown away or turned into golden Buddhas. But I hope And I think for many of us, they're not the fearsome demons they were previously made out to be. This day by day, this morning, afternoon, evening, This getting up out of bed, moving through the darkness into the zinda.

[05:55]

This end of the day, returning to your cabin. Okay. version of impermanence that's utterly obvious. And yet how it's held within the context of human experience, how it unfolds the teachings, how our own humanness relates to it all. And often by this point in Shashin, the solid self, the deeply ingrained, embodied patterns of existence and referencing that place me in the middle of it all, is loosened up.

[07:17]

Last night after dinner, I decided to take a quick bath, and I was walking through the lingering rain to the bathhouse in the dark. And being dark, I didn't see the puddles. Okay. That's how it is. Nobody's going to die. little splashing the relevance the importance of the self softens up our own version of the three marks the three marks the absence of the three marks as hindrances starts to soften and the presence of the three marks as teachings starts to become more apparent when the dramas of our internal narrative are not so captivating

[08:58]

There's literally more capacity, more energy to attend to just this and let it teach. So I would encourage you on this day has no equal while you're still in the middle of some greater being while you're still under the influence of the utterly obvious and the mysterious as you're still dancing between some solid sense of self and some fluid sense of of interbeing, to abide in whatever it is that comes to be noticed.

[10:20]

Can it be soaked up? Can it have its own momentary immersion? Walk into the bathhouse in the dark, splashing in the puddles. Where do you think you're going? And how is it to be journeying through the dark? exposed to unknown circumstances. And these bits and pieces of momentary experience disrupting

[11:27]

some internal narrative that ties it all into some some commentary about what it is to be alive can the experience sort of take us beyond the commentary the reaction the remembrance the anticipation Can it take us beyond the commentary and just immerse us in the being of it? As if it's not actually that necessary to know where you're going in the dark. Just walking in the dark can go on forever. the notion of self-preservation.

[12:33]

Most important thing is, how is this for me? What an interesting teaching. So as the teachings say, These three marks facilitate a sort of a shift within us and in the world as it's being experienced. Something starts to be illuminated. Not in the terms of what we want to avoid and what we want to accomplish. But turned upside down in terms of just what it is.

[13:38]

So that's my preamble to Dogen's comments on... Nangako and Basso's interaction. Is there anyone here who hasn't heard this coin before, the coin of polishing the tile? Great. Well, as you heard me say yesterday, you know, like, you can think of it as Okay, here's Basso. This is driven, zealous newcomer to practice being sought out by the teacher and asked a question.

[14:50]

Or, as the other description of it seems to say, that after many years of practice, of having his own awakening, of being acknowledged as the Dharma successor to the teacher, sitting steadfast and being approached by his teacher. And what I was saying yesterday, aren't we all a mix of both? Didn't something extraordinary speak to us that brought us here? And when we look closely, aren't we still fumbling in the dark, trying to explore the mystery of being a human being? Many years ago,

[15:58]

My son's in his 30s, but he was about 10 years old. I came home one day, and he was watching television, and he was laughing his head off. And I said, oh, what are you watching? And it was a kid's program, but it was a kid's program about being a Zen master. And these three kids were interacting, and one of them was a Zen master, and I go, And with each, you know, like somebody would open the door and the kid who was playing the Zen master would say some well-worn Zen phrase that we think is wonderful, but they were just making a total parody of it. The kid who was playing the Zen master would say something like, every door opens the door to awakening. And then the kids would all laugh.

[16:59]

My son find it hilarious. How embarrassing. What you're struggling to fathom, the devs of your son, is just reveling in the cliche of it all. And how the counterpoint that if we couldn't thoroughly enjoy the ridiculousness of it, how can we hold it up and examine it carefully?

[18:09]

getting too caught up in our own notions Suzuki Roshi's maybe so there's a wonderful little video made somewhere in the mid 60s maybe late 60s Suzuki Roshi and Richard Baker are in some kind of cafe. And Richard Baker, the earnest Zen student, is saying to Suzuki Roshi, Roshi, when Dogen says this, he means exactly this, doesn't he? And Suzuki Roshi says, maybe. That way in which we want to know.

[19:21]

We want to be able to say, just like this, right? That's it, right? It is right. It's exactly itself. Just this is exactly just itself. Just that idea is exactly that idea. Just that feeling is exactly that feeling. As we allow for shunyata, as we allow for the interbeing that's always going on and creating a particular. When we allow for the shunyata, it allows the particular to be just itself. And to be met and abided in as just itself.

[20:25]

And of course, it's always there in each moment, actually. And yet I would say to you, if you look carefully, each of us has... When it's like this, then I'm in for abiding. And when it's not like this, I'm just not so sure. Someone said to me, and I was quite saddled, but I could see... buzz of disturbance or contraction. Yeah. And then the mind can say, well, this isn't quite it, you know? If that little uneasiness or contraction wasn't there, then that would be it. That would be the realm of existence to abide in.

[21:40]

That would be the opportunity for releasing into spacious Sukho. And in the absence of that character, characteristic, well, it's not really time for Sukho. Let's just suffer some more. And to see your own version of that. And to see it in your sitting. To see it in your awareness as you're doing whatever you're doing. It's entering fully into the experience of the moment

[22:44]

We're working on the moment to give it whatever it needs to be worthy of entering into. So Nan Gaku approaches Basso. Whether you want to believe Basso was this rookie who just started sitting or whether he was this accomplished teacher, still the question is totally relevant every time we sit down to do zazen every time we're walking to the bathhouse in the dark every time we've just been served three bowls of food and we're about to eat we're about to intervene is going on what is the agenda how is this being engaged i mean when i turn it into words it sounds like oh well then cook up a whole bunch of ideas no enter fully and let it teach you through experience

[24:15]

Sometimes our practice asks us, quoting Dogen from yesterday, to greet both the Buddhas and the demons, to open up into an immersion and enjoy the moments of a rising sukha. But also, This is a fierce teaching and a fierce practice to open up to the experiences where something in you instinctively contracts, where something in you instinctively becomes unsettled. Maybe in that moment it's not possible to merge, to be completely intervening with it.

[25:31]

Can you stay in the neighborhood of it? Can you keep breathing? Can you not press the panic button? Can you explore what it would be to move one inch closer? Can you hold with compassion the inability, the seeming inability to move one inch closer? When we think about it abstractly, what a powerful, visceral teaching in compassion.

[26:37]

To turn towards your own vulnerable shakiness and stay close. The very same experience that you've crafted a life of moving around, of keeping your distance, of passing over. So like this. Angaku, considering all this and a thousand other dharmas, asked Basso, now what are you doing?

[27:45]

And Basso replies, intending to become Buddha. And then Dogen writes his commentary. Any permutation of that statement that you can think of, he writes it in there. He turns it upside down. He accepts it as a literal, okay, well, that sounds like grasping at a fixed outcome. Intriguingly, what he says, to my mind, of the variations, the permutations he offers, isn't there always in directed attention?

[28:58]

Isn't there always in deliberate engagement? Isn't there always in opening to? contracting from isn't there always some element of intentionality can we stay close enough to start to notice As I hope I've said many times, so many times, that it's sort of imprinted. Each time we start to sit, return the basics. And part of the alchemy of it is we return the basics as ideas, as intentions conjured up in our mind.

[30:05]

And as those basics, uprightness, openness, the details of posture, the details of allowing inhale and releasing exhale, of noticing the state of mind, of hearing the rain without grasping the sound, that these details, these basic details, help create a remembering, a realizing of what presence is. That in those details, as we attend to them, there's some rediscovery of presence. And of course, practically speaking, sometimes we notice what we might call interrupting presence.

[31:19]

Oh, look, that persistent thought. Reminding that this is what's happening now. What is can't interrupt what is. What is is what is. It's a ridiculously simple concept. But in the midst of our intention, it's an elusive engagement. This is what Nangaku is asking Paso about. This is what Vaso is responding about.

[32:22]

Every time we sit down, we've put ourselves in the hot seat. Every time we sit down, the challenge to awaken in that moment. Every time we give ourselves permission to ramble, space out, succumb to drowsiness, or whatever the heck, the opportunity is missed. And we hone this. Every time we sit down, Nangako is asking us, What are you doing? And either wise or foolish, or both wise and foolish, like Basso would take the bait.

[33:34]

I'm here in a Zen monastery, we're in Sushin, and I'm doing Zazen. And I'm doing Zazen to awaken, to be liberated from suffering and open to sukha. And why not? And if there isn't some part of us that doesn't savor the ridiculousness of it, we're not quite holding the full extent of it. And if there isn't some part of us that doesn't recognize that our life depends on it, we're not holding the fullness of it. I've rattled around in this life

[34:44]

bouncing off circumstances and relationships and psychological constructs. What is it to be just here, just experiencing? one way or another, aren't we giving Nangaku our response? Even if what comes up is, well, right now I'm really tired and I'm a little upset and I know I can just sit here and get through this period.

[35:48]

And that seems just fine. What is it to penetrate that mind? In contrast to suddenly jolting yourself into some righteous position. What teaching does that mind have? What's a skillful way of relating to it? Is it to berate yourself with criticism? Is it to nestle down and say, yeah, later I will. Later this afternoon when I feel more perky, I'll whatever, sit up straight. This is a messy business.

[36:57]

If something in you only wants to see the 16-foot golden Buddha within you, there's a lot of other stuff that you're going to miss. And I would say to you, I would suggest to you, this is a great time to see it. These long days of sitting have created a foundation. They have created a stability. They have created a trust in the path of practices and a trust in the being of practice that's coming from your body and mind. time to let all the demons dance and watch and feel and acknowledge and for some reason I'm moved to read two poems by Shemesini

[38:27]

kind of mysterious and wonderful he put them together and he called them uncoupling uncoupling we put them together part one part two and one was the piece i read before the simple detail of the girl giving full attention just being the activity of the moment, and she carries the pan of ashes from the fire and goes nowhere. But in the carrying, the demands of the ash are met by the intention and attention of the girl. Who is this coming to the ash pit? walking tall, as if in a procession, bearing in front of her a slender pan, withdrawn just now from underneath the firebox, weighty, full to the brim, with whitish dust and flakes and sparking hot, that the wind is blowing into her apron bib, into her mouth and eyes, while she proceeds, unwavering, keeping her burden horizontal still.

[39:56]

hands on a tight sore grip around the metal knob proceeds until we've lost sight of her where the worn path turns behind the hen house how does an ordinary moment become extraordinary does it shimmer with the light of the Dharma and then here's the second half he's um he's with his da and they're at the cattle market and he's perched on the gate probably where his dad told him to sit while his dad was dying selling cattle

[40:58]

It's a great free-for-all because buyer and seller are haggling, negotiating, and it all happens at a quick pace because everybody's got to get home and get back to work. Who is this? Not much higher than the cattle, working his way towards me through the pen. Has ash plant in one hand, lifted and pointing, a stick of keel in the other. looking to where I'm perched on top of a shaky gate, waving and calling something I can't hear, with all the lowing and roaring lorries revving at the far end of the yard, and the dealers shouting among themselves, and now to him, so that his eyes leave mine, and I know the pain of loss before I know the term. know the pain of loss his eyes leave mine and I know the pain of loss before I know the term say what you like about Zen practice turn it into some magnificence profound

[42:31]

subtle but we're human beings yes we're capable of meeting the moment and walking unwaveringly and we're capable in the moment of disconnect of feeling the pain of loss of losing the thread of connectedness that in its own way touches our heart. The courage that's asked of us, the courage of the heart, The mind that doesn't grasp.

[43:37]

The humility to hold the sacred and the ridiculous in both hands. The obvious and the mysterious in every moment. What will unfold in the rest of this day? Will you have exquisite moments of vast sky where each thought sparkles like a dewdrop? Will you get stuck in some old story, boring yourself?

[44:41]

What is up with me? Except for the pain of it still really hurts. Our life is being given to us. Will we receive it? Thank you. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma Talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

[45:45]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_96.38