Good morning. realized for the millionth time that part of the Dharma talk is this beginning silent time where the speaker is getting settled and getting onto the cushion or the chair folding their legs sitting upright and the whole congregation the whole assembly is watching very you know that's all that's happening and One might not think that's part of the Dharma talk, but I know it was for me to watch someone take their place and prepare, not prepare for anything else, just watching how they were living out their preparedness publicly.

[01:20]

So I just want to acknowledge that this morning, that that is part of the Dharma talk. our finding our seat, taking our place, and witnessing ourselves and others practice in that way. I'm interested in how many of you are here for the first time. Welcome. Thank you for coming, and thank everyone for coming on this beautiful evening just about the spring equinox day. Spring equinox is on the 20th of March. And that's when there is an evening out of the light and dark. The sun, you know, will now, the daylight hours will now begin to grow in the northern hemisphere.

[02:25]

And this, in the Greek myths, this time is when Persephone comes back and joins her mother Demeter after being in the underworld where she ate the six pomegranate seeds and had to stay six months out of the year. And it's a wonderful homecoming. this love between them and Demeter's strong advocacy to help her daughter was celebrated in not only myth and story, but ceremony. I don't mean to go on a tangent, but the usual story is that Persephone was

[03:27]

taken down by Hades to the underworld, but there's an earlier pre-Hellenic story where she voluntarily wanted to go down to serve and minister to those beings who were suffering in those nether worlds. So that story is not told so often, but that is closer to the call of the cries of the world that turns us to go to places that are difficult and hard to be in, and yet we have to, we want to, we choose to, which is a practiced life. So today's talk, I'm going to be bringing up another myth, actually Greek myth, and trying to tie it into some things people have been talking with me about.

[04:32]

So I hope you just join in with listening and seeing how it affects you or what resonates with you in the stories and images that I'm going to be bringing up. So a couple weeks ago someone told me they were feeling really badly. They were feeling like they had lost the thread. This is someone who's been practicing for a while, and they felt they had lost the thread. That was their term. Lost the thread. You know, they were at sea. There's different images. They couldn't feel like they could get back to their practice vow, their purpose, how they wanted to be in the world.

[05:33]

And in that time of feeling that they had lost the thread, they felt isolated, alone, ashamed, embarrassed, cut off, and also confused. What am I doing? Where am I going? That kind of feeling lost the thread. So I looked up the word thread for a couple of reasons. And as always, going towards the origin of words, there's clusters of meanings that come up in the etymology in the origins. So the word thread, the definition of thread is two or more fibers that are thin, fibers that are twisted together to make this cord or thin cord.

[06:41]

That's one definition of the word thread. And also the verb to thread is to cautiously move between obstacles is one definition, to thread our way. So to lose the thread, especially in the midst of obstacles and difficulties, to feel like you don't have a hold of or a sense of where you're going or what's even important anymore. The word Thread comes from, the root of it is T-E-R, and many other words have this T-E-R in them. And I just wanted to share this with you. Along with thread and this twisting, it's closely connected with threshing, you know, beading and threshing the grain.

[07:43]

And also there was another method of stamping or treading on the grain to remove the grain from the chaff. So thresh and treading go along with that, and threshold is part of this cluster of meanings. Also, the threshing thing that was used was called a tribulum, which is connected with tribulation. and trauma and thresh and thrash are connected as well. So you have this kind of cluster of meanings of this twisted together and trauma and threshing and threshold. Also this twisted together or rubbing together like threshing is also

[08:48]

pounding and wearing something out, and diatribe is also part of this. So just holding that in mind, to lose the thread and be open to, without a sense of where to go, the trauma of our life, the trauma of our daily life, as well as our earlier life, our life as a child, And we all, we all, we all have lived through traumas of various kinds, whether they were a one-time thing or a slow, daily, just the way our life was that included many, many traumas day after day. This is something we all share. So losing the thread, what are the threads?

[09:55]

What's the thread that we need to be aware of and hold to as a guide maybe? There has to be something that we find of help that can be a thread that we hold to. So I wanted to tell you this. this story, Greek myth, that has a thread as one of the main important parts that helped someone find their way. This time of losing the thread or feeling lost, not knowing where to turn, is also a time of confusion, as if being in a maze or a labyrinth. So one of the Greek myths myths is about the labyrinth. And some of you may be very familiar with it, but I'll retell it in a practice way, actually.

[10:59]

So the labyrinth was a maze-like place that was built in the myth under the palace, King Minos' palace in Crete. And it was actually, the architect of the labyrinth was Daedalus. He was this architect, and his son was Icarus, which is a whole other story, right? So Daedalus made this labyrinth, and the reason that it was made is because of the Minotaur, which was a monster half bull and half man that was King Minos' wife's son issue due to the Greek gods and what they end up doing. So here was this critter, this minotaur who was a monster, and they didn't know what to do with it, and it was a safe place to put the minotaur in this labyrinth that was designed so that you can't get out.

[12:12]

You can wander forever. And there's so many twists and turns and this maze-like place that the minotaur couldn't get out. And then King Minos said every year they would put young people in there, six young women and six young men, into the maze, into the labyrinth to feed the minotaur. And once they went in, you can't get out. and eventually they would meet up with the minotaur around the next corner. So you can imagine what that must have felt like and you can imagine in your own life what it feels like to have lost your way and be in confusion and not knowing what's around the next corner, what you're gonna come upon, either your own inclinations and tendencies and habits or someone else or some other situation that you can't meet.

[13:24]

So in this story, and the labyrinth, actually, the labyrinth is a very old image, a meander or a maze-like image. It's found in old archaeological images digs from 5,000, 6,000 years ago on sculpture and walls and these meanders. And so it's very connected with goddess religion from way, way old times. And it was also in... There's a labyrinth that was discovered underneath Chartres, the cathedral, and Grace Cathedral in San Francisco has labyrinth. And it became a pilgrimage, a walking meditation pilgrimage way. And many churches and places have them where you step into the labyrinth as your own meditation to meet yourself with silence and your own steps.

[14:35]

and your own heart. So the labyrinth is not only from this story where it was a scary place, it was a place of peace and meeting yourself in the deepest way. So this had been going on for a long time with these young people being basically sacrificed to the Minotaur until Theseus an Athenian youth decided he was going to do something about this minotaur and go in there and take care of this situation, slaying the minotaur. And Ariadne, who was in love with Theseus, couldn't bear the thought of him going into the labyrinth and never returning and being killed that way. So she went to Daedalus, the architect of the labyrinth, and said, please tell me, what is the secret?

[15:40]

How do you get out of the labyrinth once you're in there? And he said, there's only one way. There's only one way. And what he said is you need a clue. Now a clue in Greek, spelled C-L-E-W, is a ball of yarn or thread. And he said, you take the end of the clue and you tie it to the doorway. When he goes in, he should do this and unroll it, unwind the clue as he goes into the labyrinth. And he'll be able then to find his way out. That's the only way. You need a clue. So when we've lost the thread, we're clueless. We don't have a clue of what's next.

[16:42]

So in the story, Theseus does do that. And... goes into this maze. Sometimes the maze, we feel amazed. It's awesome and amazing, but it can also be very scary. But he had his clue, and he accomplished his task and saved people and met the minotaur. And you can imagine what that was like. to turn that corner, and there it is. And he got out. Just a side note, Daedalus was punished for telling the secret and allowing the Minotaur to be slayed. And he was put in, he and his son, Icarus, were put in the labyrinth, and they couldn't get out, so Daedalus made wings with the wax.

[17:45]

And you know that story, right? Icarus flew too close to the sun. So in our practice, what would we say are clues? What are our clues? What is the thread that we're feeling for? And the thread or the clue isn't something that we hold on to and attach to and never let it go. It's to help us find our way. It's to help us to see what's next in an upright way. So I wanted to say a few things about what our clues might be and what the clues are that you already have in your own life that you look to, that you come back to. And they can be anything.

[18:46]

They can be something you've heard. They can be a teaching. They can be a person, just how the person is in their life. can be a clue to you of how you want to live. It can meet you in a way that touches you and turns your life around in a major way. Just to see how someone walks or stands or is with others or smiles can be a clue. so powerful that you might say, that's how I want to live. That's how I want to live my life. And it becomes a thread that you follow. I feel like I've been blessed with clues and threads of all kinds. I wanted to mention a few.

[19:51]

This is This is something from the Zen teacher, Chan master, Chinese Zen master from the 11th century, Yiran Wu. And he gathered these stories to create the Blue Cliff Record. He gathered all these stories into a collection of koans and Zen stories. And this is a quote from him about Zen practice. And... Those of you who are here for the first time have come to find out what a Zen center is, what the practices of sitting and what a Zen talk might be. And those of you who have returned have come back because you've been touched some way. You have resonated with the practice itself, the words you've heard. So this is from Iran Wu. The essential point to learn in Zen is to make your roots deep and your stem firm.

[21:01]

24 hours a day, be aware of where you are and what you do. The central point to learn in Zen is to make your roots deep and your stem firm. And when I read that, when I imagine that, I think of our bodies themselves rooted on our cushion or our chair or our wheelchair, rooted in a firm, complete, I'm here right now. And then our stem, which I think of as our, you know, not just our spine, but roots deep. And our stem is what's moving in the world. And out of the stem comes flowers and all sorts of leaves and branches, right?

[22:02]

So deep roots and a firm stem. But firm, not brittle firm, but flexible firm that's able to move with the situation. Respond. 24 hours a day. Be aware of where you are and what you do. Where you are, where you are in space. That's, you know, it brings us back to one of the wonderful features of Zen practice, which is that it's a body practice. We embody it. It's It can't be understood from just hearing and reading alone. We have to embody it in order to taste it and feel it and live it out and become a clue for others when they see us.

[23:03]

So 24 hours a day, be aware of where you are, not just someplace here, but where you are in your body and mind. and what you're doing. So these are clues from our ancestors, from our teachers. Another clue that goes along with that is pay attention. And there's a Zen koan where someone was asked, you know, what is the most important practice? And the teacher said, pay attention, or not even pay, drop off pay, attention. And then they were saying, well, yeah, yeah, I know that, but really, what's the secret of it? Attention. And he said, okay, but can't you say more attention? So three times this teacher said, attention, 24 hours a day, where you are and what you do. Attention, bringing attention to our body, speech, and mind, where we are in space.

[24:14]

the body, are we relaxed? That's another clue, to be relaxed, have a relaxed, flexible mind. This stem that's firm is also, there's a firmness and a relaxation. And when we're relaxed, we can hear, we can see, we can know our heart. And if we're filled with tension and anxiety, it may be harder to know where we are and what we're doing, actually. Our choices come from fear, confusion, shame. Another one of our clues or this thread are our vows and our precepts themselves. We hear them

[25:15]

We'll be reciting them at the end of the talk, The Four Bodhisattva Vows. These are clues for how to find our way each moment in this ever-changing, never the same moment-after-moment world of impermanence. and chaos sometimes, and loss, and death, and making mistakes. There's no way you can make it stop. Just make it stop. It's we stop within ourselves. We stop running. We stop fighting and find our deep roots and our full attention to who we are, where we are, what is before us.

[26:23]

This is a clue. And just hearing it isn't enough. We have to all take it up. This is another clue that stuck with me for many years. It's from the... Diamond Sutra, and in the Diamond Sutra it says, remember this, or memorize this, or learn it by heart. And being the kind of person I am, I did. And it goes like this, as stars, a fault of vision, or a lamp, a mock show, dew drops, or a bubble, a dream, a lightning flash, or clouds, so should one view What is conditioned? So what is conditioned is everything we see and hear and feel and think. It's conditioned vast myriad ways of conditioning that we are all woven together in this interconnected way.

[27:32]

And each thing that we see, each person is like a dew drop or a bubble or a mock show, which is like, you know, a play. And it's to try to grasp it as real and stable and never to be, you know, gone is not possible. is ungraspable, is not reality. So this soul should want to view what is conditioned like a lightning flash. This, on the contrary, it doesn't bring sadness and darn it, and I don't like this as much as if we re-enter this, it brings gratitude and love and compassion

[28:37]

and care for this momentary time, which will be gone so soon, of this person, this animal, this earth. The character for compassion, or one of the characters, is Ji, and within it is the parts of the character have, the top part is the radical for neck, and then underneath that is thread, the radical for thread, and underneath that is heart-mind, which is one character that means both mind and heart. So if you look at the character and the parts of this kanji, this character for compassion, it has heart-mind and thread, and then this neck. The ideograph was a child clinging to its mother, you know, like those bonds of love and care and those threads that bind, like thinking of holding someone around the neck in love with one's heart.

[30:00]

It's all kind of in this character of compassion. I saw Wrinkle in Time yesterday, the movie Wrinkle in Time, and it's really all about love. It's just what people will do for the love, for our love for each other and for this earth. So I wanted to go to another image that was helpful for me in thinking about this clue and working with our lives in a skillful way.

[31:07]

We had one day sitting here yesterday that many people participated in. And someone told me that, you know, they were not looking forward to it. Like, ah, setting aside a whole day to just sit. I've got so many things to do. And it's springtime. And, you know, I kind of... But once they sat and kind of gathered, gathered in, which is part of what the day is like gathering the heart-mind. Gathering in. to deepen our roots and know where we are over and over throughout the day, coming back to our place, our seat. And this person told me they just enjoyed, they had forgotten. We forget what actually meets us and sustains us and regenerates us, reconsecrates and nourishes us. So we need this kind of formal practice of

[32:09]

coming to sit and devoting ourselves to paying attention to this very body-mind with love and compassion. So this is a day where we're in a container. We're in a container for a day, and there's a seven-day sitting coming up. a week or so from now, a couple weeks, where we'll have a full week of coming back to our place, deepening our roots with our firm stem, knowing where we are, what we're doing 24 hours a day. So this... of being in a container is extremely important. We're bombarded by so much throughout the day.

[33:13]

Our cares and worries and activities and the media and the news, the difficult, terrifying news that we're that we're open to and comes in all the time. So to take this time to step into a container is essential. I would say it's essential for us to pay attention, to be attentive, to take care of our bodies. So in... a kind of traditional, in many, many different cultures, there are initiation ceremonies, ceremonies where people go into a kind of time of containment. They go into sequestering, a time set aside.

[34:17]

And during that time, you don't do the usual things. You may not, I mean, different cultures have different things, but you may not eat certain foods or speak or read, and those are not deprivation chambers or some punishment. This is what it takes to find silence, to live out the beauty and the times of silence that we need to regenerate and to open and to wake up. So the three kind of almost universal parts of initiation ceremonies are a container, containment, and sometimes within that there's an ordeal. There's difficulty that we have to face, either given to us or that we face within by being in the container and not doing our usual daily life, which often has to do with keeping ourselves from thinking about

[35:27]

about things or facing certain things. Just keep busy, keep distracted, and then we won't have to look at it, face it. But in the container, the ordeal might be, there's nothing to distract me. There it is. There it is that I have to meet this with my full body. So this time of containment can't have an ordeal. And then within the containment, the second part of the initiations is transformation or metamorphosis. In that time when we're practicing that way, in silence, not our usual space, maybe with like-minded beings, there are changes that happen. There are transformations. And you could say, in the widest sense, the container might be

[36:29]

stepping into our practice, maybe not a separate day, but just turning our life around to step into practice, maybe a big and wide container within which metamorphosis or transformation happens in a deep way, in a way we can't even track, our ego can't even go there in the depth of our consciousness, deepest consciousness where everything is stored and transforming. So one image for that is of a cocoon. The caterpillar spins this cocoon, right? And the cocoon or chrysalis looks like there's not much happening. If you see one hanging somewhere, it's like a little sleeping bag or something, a little miniature sleeping bag somewhere hanging from a plant.

[37:36]

Doesn't look like much going on, right? Well, inside the cocoon, the chrysalis, the word in Greek chrysalis means gold or golden. And inside that cocoon straw is being spun into gold, the caterpillar turns into this broth. It becomes this broth. Can you imagine dissolving to that degree? And within that kind of broth, the word larva means, I wrote it down, The word larva means disembodied spirit or mass. So there's a kind of breakdown of what we thought we were and who we came into that cocoon as.

[38:42]

And then it comes back together. So within this container there's transformation. And we come together in a new way. And then the third part of the initiation is emergence, coming out, coming out as a butterfly, you know, transformed as this new being. And the butterfly is, you know, they don't live that long, right? And in fact, in some languages, the word for butterfly and the word for death is the same word. And also nightmare. Butterflies are lovely. And there's also something mysterious. awe-inspiring about them.

[39:47]

They travel for thousands of miles on nectar alone and don't live that long. So out of this disembodied mass, cells come together and reform and transform. And for us, our bodies don't turn into other... They do change. They do change quite a bit in terms of Just like yoga, any yoga posture work, you change, you respond to those practices, but not as wholly changed as from caterpillar to butterfly. The word psyche itself in Greek means butterfly. So this transformation, we change our psyche, our way of thinking. We become. we embody something new and that transformation is thorough.

[40:51]

So containment and transformation within the container and emergence and coming out. We say when someone leaves residential practice that they return to the marketplace with gift-bestowing hands. When we emerge, we emerge ready with compassion to meet and respond. Meet whatever we meet and respond with compassion. And we're ready to hear we're not So within that container, there are guidelines, there are threads, there are clues. And they take the form of guidelines for practice if you're in a residential place or doing a retreat, or some people call them rules, and fight against them.

[42:04]

Like, why do we need those rules? I want to be free. That is one of the biggest confusions, talk about being in a maze, is that being free means I can do anything I want when I want and you can't tell me otherwise. That's like maybe one of the number one misunderstandings about what it really takes to be free. So these guidelines, these threads are necessary and when we have become embodied, when we embody, then what we want to do, what we choose to do is in alignment with our deepest vows and intentions 24 hours a day. It's not about they're not letting me do what I want to do. It's about what I want to do. And my deepest vows are one and the same thing. That's the transformation.

[43:06]

And those threads that come in the form of guidelines for practice are for us. They're to help us find our way. Left to our own devices, we just get tangled in our own karmic tendencies and, you know, habits. So those so-called rules, you know, these are in disguise, these are, you know, the clues given to us by all the awakened ones to help us. And they can take the form, more clues are precepts, vows, they're for us. I wanted to end with a poem by William Stafford called The Way It Is.

[44:19]

There's a thread you follow. It goes among things that change, but it doesn't change. People wonder about what you are pursuing. You have to explain about the thread. But it is hard for others to see. While you hold it, you can't get lost. Tragedies happen. People get lost. Excuse me. Tragedies happen. People get hurt or die. And you suffer and get old. Nothing you can do can stop times unfolding. You don't ever let go of the thread. This is William Stafford. And I think I would say it's not that you don't ever let go of it, but you become the thread itself.

[45:28]

That's how it is. You never let go. Because you are it. to restrain myself from reading another poem because I know too much of anything is not too good, even a good poem. So maybe in the Q&A I'll read this other one by Emily Dickinson who, you know, Does that make you want to come to Q&A? Maybe some of you can't come to Q&A. Should I read it, Emily? Good old Emily. Now this poem, when I came upon it, I almost couldn't believe it because it put together these things that I was putting together for the talk, and here was Emily.

[46:36]

You'll understand. My cocoon tightens. Colors tease. I'm feeling for the air. A dim capacity for wings demeans the dress I wear. A power of butterfly must be the aptitude to fly. Meadows of majesty implies an easy sweeps of sky. So I must baffle at the hint and cipher at the sign and make much blunder if at last I take the clue. divine.

[47:37]

Good old Emily. And clue is spelled C-L-E-W, meaning that very clue, the thread, divine, she calls it, coming out of her cocoon, which is tightening. It's time for her to emerge. So thank you very much for your attention for that labyrinth of thoughts and images. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our programs are made possible by the donations we receive. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[48:44]

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