This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. So the last couple of days while you've been sitting here coursing in sublime samadhi. I've been in a little hut over there with one person after another coming through the door. Stepping exactly the way they step. Breathing exactly the way they breathe.

[01:05]

Holding their body the way they hold their body. Sitting down and making manifest the world system that they are. in whatever way it occurs to them to do it at that time. Some strange, mysterious and beautiful mix of intentional and unintentional, conscious and unconscious. coming in the door, the world of form. You know, in Zen, this entering the room, there's a kind of sensibility in Zen.

[02:19]

You know, like the teacher lived there long enough that he was called after the place. You know, Dungshan. Well, he lived on Dung Mountain, so that was his name. You enter the room, and coincidentally, there's someone in it. But there's the room. There's the entering. There's the enacting and engaging of the moment. Each one of us is a world system and each one of us is a heritage of all the myriad causes and conditions.

[03:20]

Pick your own spot as to where it began. Was it the big buying? Was it when you were conceived by your parents? Was it when you filled in your form to go to Tassajara for a practice period? Yeah, this is a good idea. And walking in the door, the world of form obvious and mysterious and then the person sits down and calls forth a karmic being however that happens you know by what they say by what they don't say

[04:29]

by the way their eyes move or don't move, by how their voice rises or falls. The content of what they talk about. And then something... Equally mysterious interaction. Maybe we think we know what's going on. You say apple, and I say, well, that's a kind of fruit. You say life's impossible. I say, maybe hopefulness is a delusion, but it's a useful one.

[05:41]

But something more mysterious, some, call it what you like, limbic resonance, some way we unconsciously read the subtle cues of our beings. Something formless, something of this extraordinary human capacity to relate. can look at it skeptically or critically and say, well, you know what? All in all, we don't do a very good job of it. There's too much war and violence and separation and unkindness.

[06:52]

Despite all that, there's intimacy. you declare war if you didn't have strong feelings about them even though they're negative ones so the three realms of being appear as they do all the time the karmic the form and the formulas And the monk asks Dangshan, what the heck do you do with all that?

[07:53]

As a human being, as someone who's foolish enough to think they're following some kind of path of awakening, how do you relate to this proposition? And then he looks at Dangshan. You're the one sitting there. Stay close. Always stay close. So one way to stay close is really broaden your definition of close. No? You know, if you say, well, close is between, you know, a tenth of a millimeter and two millimeters.

[09:01]

It's like, oh. I get close about, you know, once a couple, you know, I see. But if you say close is... here to the moon. Well, I'm pretty close all the time. Nothing falls outside of Shashin. Oh, okay. Then I'm in Shashin all the time. I'm close all the time. Otherwise, there is no end decision. And naturally enough, no beginning either.

[10:06]

Okay then, I got to cover temporarily too. Changsa asked one of his monks, the Gota Master, And he said, ask him this. Ask him about his time with Nanquan. Ask him, what was it like before you went to Nanquan? And so he went and he asked him, what was it like before you went to Nanquan? The teacher said, nothing. He says, well, then what was it like after you went? engaged and interacted with that coin. There couldn't be anything else. What if there couldn't be anything else but now?

[11:17]

What if you couldn't be anything else other than this realm of being, of karma and form and formlessness, with its own unique, magnificent, mysterious, dreadful expression? to enter through that Dharma gate. And hearing this, Chonksa said, like stepping off a hundred foot pole.

[12:28]

so much time and energy and sweat and tears and laughter and physical effort and all sorts of things into this world system that we are. And to enter into the experience of the moment back. What a dangerous proposition which regards our handiwork. No wonder we're hesitant. No wonder even when we have our taste, our glimpses,

[13:30]

are touches of presence. We're inclined to say, that was fantastic. Can I go home now? I really love that and I'm really committed to it. See you later. It wouldn't be any other way. What an utterly scary notion. So earlier in Sashin, one of the lies I was telling was,

[14:33]

a magnificent failure is it has its truth returning to awareness notice acknowledge make contact experience isn't it wonderful to have orderly map of human existence. You know, if only it were true. And yet in moments it can be. That can be the entry gate. That can be the glimpse of

[15:37]

couldn't be any other way. That's Dogen's energy he says. And in that the self is forgotten. And we enter this Potent being of Zazen. Exploring as carefully as we can this entering now. Noticing what it's like

[16:40]

And it's so noticing when we've missed it, lost it, and returned in all its realms, its karmic realm. its great rivers of significance. Some image, some thought arises and carries with it a great river of memory and significance and thought and feeling and your very body responds the realm of form in that moment of attention something illuminated vibrant the authority of itself leaping clear of the karmic entanglements

[18:20]

Even if we're fortunate enough for the contact to be more than a glimpse, we feel the alchemy of intimacy, you know, that it's transformative influence. achy bag of heavy bones that we've been dragging around can become lighter than air. The mind, dense with preoccupation, can be spacious. course, our human tendency is more of the good stuff and less of the bad stuff, please.

[19:46]

More of the pleasant and less of the unpleasant. And then what is... What is the teacher's? It couldn't be any other way. Could this day in Hashim be that practice? Experience the experience that's being experienced. in our diligence sometimes in our dedication no this is not it it's not calm enough it's not concentrated enough it's not as bright as that moment that happened in the Zazen period right after breakfast that's the real thing this this is just

[21:21]

fakery made up by Billy Collins. What if it couldn't be any other way? What if this realm of being sometimes affectionately, sometimes disgustingly known as me, is just simply manifesting as it is. What would that practice be like? And Changsha says, that would be like... stepping off a hundred foot pole.

[22:23]

And what happens when you step off a hundred foot pole? The whole world comes alive. The whole world is the body of being. that reckless energy of chanting Kansayan roaring it out with abandon does it require desperation there's a Zen saying that says trapped When you have no other option, then you meet the moment just as it is.

[23:44]

And Zen doesn't offer. Who is it? Prescription. It doesn't offer, here's exactly the right way to do it. It plays a trick on the question. It says, endless Dharma gates. Endless ways to enter the moment. As Rumi says, a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the earth. And yet, the wind of our school is the diligence of our practice.

[25:03]

as the teacher says to the monk, fanning, diligent practice. Without that, you don't know that the wind is everywhere. You don't know that there's endless ways to enter. There's something in our diligence. There's something in taking up the great journey into the Zen. There's something about the deliberate effort to enter. Some way, some utterly foolish way that we're trying to make what's already happening Something is initiated.

[26:21]

The basics of our practice are the backbone of it, are the backbone of the body. are the backbone of all the three realms. The world of form will always instruct us. signed to the Blue Jay saying, now, now, now, now. Wallace Stevens saying, and present for nothing that is not here.

[27:48]

present for the nothing that is. Not grasping a single part of it, because experience is dynamic. It's It's living the Dharma of the nature of being. It's interactive. It's ever-changing. It's ways of being relevant, of being named. This is the stuff of a human life. This is the karma of a human life. enter and we enter and we enter.

[28:57]

Like this point of entry. Don't bring me the sea or the clouds or those packs of trees. Don't bring me night or stars or forthright moons or the solitude of the river. Take away that farmyard of cyclamen, your flooded side street. Don't bring me the sun, leave it where it is. Don't offer me operas or banknotes, spiderwebs, peppered with dew. I don't want a bullfight or a cushion you worked on yourself. I don't want anything except the past. Bring me five years ago, last winter. The week before last. Yesterday. Do the karmic workings define reality?

[30:13]

Or do they illuminate the karmic workings? Enter into that, saying, this is real. This is reality. This defines it. Or do we enter into it, experiencing it? The powerful energies of karmic life. With its deep-seated significance, It goes below conscious mind. It goes below overt emotions. It has its own depth. Can we listen fully to what the karmic life presents?

[31:27]

And we hear it and feel it in a way that it's been asking us to do for a long, long time. Why else do we keep producing and reproducing our stories? It's something being allowed to breathe. But maybe something terrible will happen. Don't worry about something terrible that might happen. Something terrible will happen. So don't be so anxious about worrying if it might.

[32:33]

And something beautiful. And something utterly precious called being alive. And whatever form it takes will be impermanent. Whatever form it takes still requests stepping forward as now recreates itself. this great mystery, you know, and this, you know, great opportunity.

[33:48]

We can invest all our energy in bring me last week or next week. I mean, it's all quite understandable. You know? It's easy to sympathize with and empathize with. But can we find in the middle of it the gate of liberation? Can we see in its workings, oh, this is the workings of conditioned existence. Truly worthy of our patience, kindness, compassion, understanding. Truly worthy of it.

[34:59]

But not to do ourselves the disservice of getting lost in it. Can we engage so thoroughly that it couldn't be any other way? How could I not be this human life? How could I not enter the room exactly the way I enter it? At one point I was doing coins with Harada Shoda Roshi. And I got this notion into my head. I haven't had a breakthrough.

[36:08]

So anything I come up with is more or less bullshit. So I'd come in, and I'd sit down, and I'd sit straight, and I'd pay attention, and I'd say absolutely nothing. At the start, he'd kind of go, you know, that's not too bad. This is the Zen world. Nothing's got a certain cachet. And then the days would roll on. And I would think, no breakthrough. Let's go with nothing again. And then one day he just said to me, you know, usually, you know, it's Rinzai. There's good samurai theater to it. None of this wimpy sort of stuff.

[37:13]

But I came in one day and he just said, how are you doing? Usually it's like, what is the meaning of the Greek matter? I thought, oh, a response, any response. So I don't have the perfect response. So I can't live, I can't be me until I've excelled in utter perfection. Dharma gates are bondless.

[38:34]

And who says success or failure? I would say this. You've done all the hard work, so be enlightened. Why not? From all accounts, it's not going to hurt. Not to say there won't be unpleasant moments. blue jay might make a sign that you don't approve of but it couldn't be any other way I asked category Roshi once what is doesn't and he gave me he actually what he said was and

[40:05]

There's a book by Sekeda that has a good description of it. So, being the person that I was, without missing a beat, I repeated my question. And then he went, what did he say? Give something more immediate. I said, what is Zazen? And then he straightened up a little bit, and he started to talk. And the moment he started to talk, I couldn't hear a thing. And he said something, and I was totally blown away, and I had no idea what he said. And I thought, okay then. Dogen Senji says it's not within perception it's not within the workings of the mind and yet the capacity to enter into the moment we're fully capable of if you say you have to be perfect if you say you have to add a great time

[41:43]

breakthrough, have the excellent response. Okay. Can you be awake to that proposition? Qualification to what couldn't be otherwise. Pretty soon. And great demons might appear. Saying amazing things like there is an end decision. Saying extraordinary things like now does not extend beyond space and time.

[42:52]

And we might be deluded enough to believe it. And so while we're still here in this Jade Palace of Sashin. couldn't be any other way. Thank you.

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For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

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