This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Welcome to all the little people. Wow, there's so many of you. That's great. Well, usually we start with a story, and there's usually a storybook. But today there's not a storybook. I'm just going to tell you one of my favorite stories, and then we'll see how we make it alive together. Okay? So this is a story from a book called My Grandfather's Blessing. Maybe some of you know that book. And the story is about a little girl.

[01:00]

Or it could be about a little boy. And they had a grandfather, a favorite grandfather. Or maybe you have a favorite grandmother or aunt or uncle. Anyway, it was a favorite. And this story, it's a grandfather. And this grandfather would always bring little surprises and special treats. But this grandfather didn't bring things like dolls or... books or stuffed animals or trucks. He always brought something kind of unusual. And this time when he came, he brought a little paper cup that looked like this. And then when she looked inside the cup, all she saw was dirt. Just plain old dirt. This was not very inspiring. And kind of disappointed too. And also she was told she could not play with the dirt.

[02:04]

That even made it worse. So she told him that she was really disappointed. Who knows what disappointed is? Sad. What do you say? Sad. Okay. Good. We've got two sads. So they went together. The grandfather picked up the little cup and in her there was a little tiny watering can and they went to the kitchen and filled the watering can with water and then they walked back to her bedroom and there was a window and they put this on the windowsill and they gave her the little watering can and said, now you water it every day and if you water it every day, maybe something will happen. So this didn't really make much sense. of a little one. But she promised that she would water it every day. And she did. And she did for a few days.

[03:05]

And then it kind of got boring because it still looked just like this. Nothing was happening. So after one week, the grandfather came back and he said, is it time to stop watering now? And the grandfather said, No. Every day, little one. Every day. Okay. Curious. Let's go another week. But the second week was even harder and harder. Because nothing was happening. The cup kept looking just like this. Nothing in it. And then grandfather came back again. And... He said, Grandfather, I want to give you this back because nothing's really happening here. And he said, guess what he said? No.

[04:07]

Every day, you promised, you made a promise, every day take the little watering can and put some water in the cup. So... the little boy or the little girl was getting kind of, let's see, what word should we use? They were a little dubious. Do you know the word dubious? That's a big word, a little doubtful. And by the second week, they were getting kind of resentful. Do you know that word? Anybody know that word? Resentful? How about a little angry or a little mad that they made this promise to water every day? But they made this promise, so they had to keep watering. And when the third week came, And still nothing had happened. And it also was getting harder and harder to remember. And sometimes in the middle of the night, in the dark, remembering they forgot to water. So they got their little watering can and in the dark, put water in the cup. And then one morning, after there'd been nothing in the little cup, and she woke up.

[05:16]

She saw this. There were these little green leaves that came up. She was so surprised. Kind of went from nothing to something. And she was very excited. And she couldn't wait to tell Grandfather. She thought maybe he would be just as excited as she was. But he wasn't really all that surprised. Because he knew there was a hidden treasure there. And so then he came back, and she kept watering it, and pretty soon she was taking care of it. It even got bigger. And when she asked grandfather about it, he said, he said, what did he say? He said, life is everywhere hidden. You just need to take care of it. And she said, does that mean all I need is water?

[06:23]

That sounds pretty straightforward, huh? And he said, patted on the head and said, no, it was your faithfulness that made this grow. What do we think faithfulness is? What if you have faith in something? Do you just keep doing it? Yeah, you give it your loyalty and your support and your care. So when we give things our care, sometimes something very surprising happens. And I had one of these where I had nothing, then a little something, and then a little more something, and pretty soon I got this. Isn't that great? Just water and sunlight and taking care of it. Now, in this story, besides taking care of things and being surprised by what we can't see, how many different feelings were in there?

[07:29]

Can you remember one? Sad. Happy. Angry. Right. Excited. What was yours? Mad. Curious. Do you have one? Patience. Patience. Who said that? Good job, whoever that was. Okay. Okay, so we take care of things. And one of the things that you might, maybe you notice, is she kind of went from, I'm not so sure, to kind of disappointed, to curious, to resentful or angry, to... bored, and then she got excited. Those are all kinds of different feelings we have. And if we just keep going with our little promise, things change. And sometimes they change into something growing and green.

[08:31]

Okay. So I think we'll see what your lesson is today when you go away for your group meeting. But I think... Look at that cute dog. Do you take care of that dog? You do? It's a toy. That's okay. We need to take care of our toys. Yeah. Thank you for bringing it. So we need to take care of the things that are entrusted to us. And sometimes we don't really know what's going to happen with what we take care of. But we take care of it with as much kindness as we can. Okay? All right, we'll see if that works for you for the month. All right, thank you very much for coming. Okay. This is kid time. Thank you.

[09:39]

Bye-bye. Maybe I'll keep this one. Hi. Yeah. Is that space in here or anything like you got closer?

[10:43]

While we're waiting, why don't you just see if you can settle for yourself and join me. I'm finding where my sit bones are again. There's just been a lot of words and sound and commotion and distraction. And so just stopping. You can put your hands in what we call the cosmic mudra, or just rest them on your knees, at your belly.

[12:00]

at your heart, whatever it is that brings you back to right here and right now. There was a koan, there is a koan, that I was studying with a group of people that sounds kind of simple and basic afterwards say, okay, got that, what's next? And the story goes that there was a Raj who invited a teacher to a banquet. And usually when teachers get invited to banquets, in exchange they give a teaching. And he said, so how about the teaching?

[13:05]

Why aren't you saying anything? And now as you're finding your place where you are, this was his teaching. Breathing in, not dwelling in body-mind, breathing out, not involved in myriad circumstances. is a still small point. It turns. Breathing out, not involved in myriad circumstances. I recite this scripture one hundred, one thousand, one million times. Breathing in, not dwelling in body-mind. Breathing out,

[14:09]

not involved in myriad circumstances. We went on to study other stories and kind of push past this because this seems like a very basic, simple, no-brainer teaching. But even a no-brainer teaching, if you can't do it, well, you fill in the blank if you can't do it. You'll be moved around by causes and conditions and events. And I have found myself, actually, when sitting in the Zendo, returning to this over and over again, trying to find what is my own still point? What am I pivoting on? What different ways to say it? What's my most important thing? What do I value?

[15:11]

And can I speak from that? And can I act from that? And can I enter a situation? Kind of like that little child in the story. I mean, that was a children's story, but actually I think it was an adult story of continuing to water this thing that I can't see what's happening in the dark. Can I plant a seed of something that I really want to be committed to and then speak from that point? So we've been studying. We've been having a multicultural study program here at Green Gulch. And what's coming to my mind is we saw a movie, Cracking the Code, which maybe some of you have seen. but just really brief without kind of unpacking the whole scenario.

[16:17]

There was an event in a grocery store where two sisters, one was African-American and one, I don't actually know if she's white or she passed as white, but anyway, they were shopping together and the sister that was identified as... white by the person at the register, kind of went through, happily chatting, no problems. How are you? How's your day? Wrote a check, gave the check, and there was no issue. And then her sister came from behind, and then there was no conversation and no eye contact. And when she wrote a check, the cashier said, could you please give me your identification? And so she pulled her identification out, and then their cashier started checking the list to see if she was on some list for checks that they don't accept.

[17:19]

And I think she even called the manager. And this is a parentheses. I was curious as to whether this was a reenactment of something that did happen, but anyway. the sister that just passed through went to the cashier and said, do you realize what you're doing? He said, well, I'm just doing what we usually do here, right? And she said, you didn't do that with me. So that was a clear example of how our current life situation can treat people and situations differently. The point of that... I'm guessing many of you are familiar with that already, but the point in that story for me was I wondered whether I, if I was in that line, if I had been in that place, would I have been able to step forward and say something? And confessing, actually, I don't know, but that's the place I want to reach in myself.

[18:31]

where I could step forward and to have some kind of courage. Maybe it takes courage. Maybe it's fearlessness. But whatever it takes to be able to step forward is breathing in, not dwelling in body-mind. One way I would say it right now is, it's not, what about me? and breathing out, not getting involved in myriad circumstances, could also be not being pushed around by events, which I'm kind of embroiled in with this political situation. So my question is, how and from where do we act? And I was kind of... I have to say I was a little bit at a loss of what to do today. And what kept coming into my mind, which is kind of interesting, is the word stillness.

[19:33]

And funnily enough is I kept trying to move away from it. I wanted to find something else, but it didn't go away. So today I think what I'm selling or pushing or promoting is this still point from which we can all find where do we sit, where do we stand, and from where do we act. And I think that coming from this place of what we value makes us more powerful. I think it's value coupled with fearlessness. And I think that the fearlessness, or I could say the fearlessness in me, comes from being committed to something a little bit bigger than myself. Also, by myself, I'm kind of a small voice and a small gesture. But if I link arms with other people, there's something bigger that can happen.

[20:37]

Some of our students went to one of the rallies, and as I've been listening to the conversations, I think one of the things that really came through for me, whether you're in a... violent alt-right group, or if you're part of the, what do you call it, the Antifa, it's the numbers that actually give them some momentum and some courage. And our group from Green Gulch went and there was some sitting and Then they decided to move. And then as they were moving, they came in connection or contact with the Marin Interfaith and some other people that were also there at the rally. And there was a feeling inside of them of, oh, kind of meeting my friends, meeting my... And there was some more energy that came through. And that really spoke to me about how we...

[21:41]

All of us here, you know, what are the ways that we can link arms? What are the ways we can support Zen Center? What are the ways Zen Center can support you? So in looking around at what I wanted to speak about, I thought, well, this was interesting to me. I thought, well, okay, I'm going to go to Suzuki Roshi and see if I can find out something that he has to say. And so I opened the book and... I got as far as the preface. So you can see I'm not a very deep reader. But this was a meeting that Zen Tatsu Richard Baker had with Suzuki Roshi about four months before he died. And so we had a chance to ask him, because he noticed that in Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, in his book, he never made any mention of Satori or Kensho. And D.T. Suzuki was here, made a big point of Satori and Kensho.

[22:43]

And so Richard Baker was interested in why Suzuki Roshi didn't front this point. And so he asked, and so Mrs. Mitsu Suzuki was there and she took her... she leaned forward and whispered to Richard Baker, it's because he hasn't had one. And so he, whoops, fluffed her and said, shh, don't tell. And basically what he said was, let me see if I can, I want to get it right. And then they all laughed, kind of the way some of you did. And then he said, it's not that satori is unimportant, but it's not the part of Zen that needs to be stressed.

[23:49]

It's not the part of Zen that needs to be stressed. So what is it that I think I'm stressing, I'm stressing with myself, I'm inviting you, is to find... of not moving, to be still, and to move from that stillness, from that clarity, from that strength point. And so I'm just going to read a couple of different things, and let me see what time it is, because I want to have a story that I want to tell you all before the kitchen leaves. So... This coming to place at this still point is, I have to read this, I'm sorry, that I found is there's this creative tension, so you can feel that, between being and doing. So if we're trying to do compassion, it's a subtle point, but you can feel that it might be a different place that you might come from if you're being.

[24:59]

in compassion. And so let me just finish that. Between what states of mind and heart are the things that we do in the world? And can we make our inner being an understanding, I'm saying what you're committed to, to be how we are in the world? Can our intention manifest in my relationship to you, or to you, or to you? can my intention be kind of palpable or visible? The story is popping into my mind that I just, as I was kind of going through things that I heard, is about Gandhi. So this is a lifetime of practice, and apparently Gandhi's reference point that he walked around over and over.

[26:00]

He would say, Ram, Ram, Ram. I wasn't there, but this is the story. I might be going around saying, kindness, kindness, patience, patience, generosity, generosity. You find what your point is. But he practiced this over and over and over again. And the day... And he was out in a crowd, and a man came and shot him point blank. He didn't say, oof, or darn, or ooh, or ooh, whatever. But he said, Ram, because it was in his body. It was in his body. So what is it that we want to have in our body at some point? surprising moment when we make a left turn and there's something we didn't expect.

[27:01]

And really, that was a big, I didn't expect this, but lots of little unexpected things are happening to us all the time. Breathing in, patience. Breathing out, not dwelling in myriad circumstance. Breathing in, spaciousness. Breathing in, not knowing, not knowing, not knowing. Because I think if we know, then we can get a little self-righteous and then create, I know, you don't know. Maybe some of you are having that right now with your families. So not knowing, finding a way to speak from not knowing and being just present for taking in more information. And sometimes, Really, you know, it's not what we do. It's not what we do.

[28:03]

It's how we are in a moment that makes people not feel afraid. That's what I'm promoting today. And we had a speaker here. His name was Larry Yang. Some of you might know him. And he teaches mindfulness and loving-kindness, and he has a website called Awakening Together. And he talked about it as a way of a capacity to hold this tension, or the capacity to hold this tension is the beginning of peace. Can you feel how that's true? Holding the tension is the beginning of non-retaliation. How about that? Holding this tension is the beginning of peace. Because usually in the tension, we want to fly apart and separate.

[29:05]

But being able to stay right there and stay together is actually the beginning of something that we can do together or maybe transform. So we have to live in a question, living in a question. I want to tell you a story. I'm continuing with this. Not knowing is most intimate. Not knowing is the beginning of practice. Not knowing is sitting in the middle of stillness. So I don't really know where I came to this story, but it's got two, I've read it now in two different ways. So I'm going to give you the more recent way and kind of bring in the other way. the other ending. So this was a story about a samurai. So we have a lot of samurais right now walking around the United States.

[30:08]

And as you know, the samurais were warriors. And the samurai wanted to change how he was manifesting in the world. So he went to a very famous Zen teacher And in this version, the Zen teacher was 70 years old, but he was known to be very wise. And he said, I want to practice. I want to transform. Could you tell me what to do? And he said, well, okay, go away. And for one month, I want you to meditate for 90 minutes every day and then come back. That's it. He went off for a month and he meditated for 90 minutes every day and nothing changed. So he came back and he said, didn't work. So the teacher said, hmm, okay, well go away for two more months and this time meditate for three hours every day.

[31:12]

Okay, so he went away and he meditated very faithfully, just like... this for three hours. And after he came back, after three months, he said, no change, no satori. That's what he was looking for, he was looking for satori. So the teacher said, okay, well, let's think about this together. He said, why don't we have a cup of tea and play a game of chess? Okay, so the samurai was actually a very qualified and highly developed chess master, and so was the teacher, so they were playing chess. And as they were playing, the samurai realized that it had turned to his advantage, and he could make a move. Oh, oh, I forgot to tell you, punchline! The agreement they made before the chess match was that whoever lost...

[32:15]

had to lose their head. This was a life or death match. I forgot that part. That's kind of important. That's the important part. Okay, sorry. Okay, so now we're back to the tide's turn in the favor of the samurai. And he put his hand on the piece that he was going to move, and he could see that he could win and save his head. But he thought, I might cry when I tell you this story. He thought, what has my life been? I've just been killing people and warring, and I haven't given back very much. And this teacher, he's a scholar, he's done a lot of writing, he's helped people. And his life, even though he's 70, this life may have some value for someone else. And he took his hand off the piece, and moved something else that allowed the Zen master to win.

[33:22]

So the Zen master flipped the board and the pieces went flying everywhere. And he went up to the samurai and put his finger in his chest and he said, now you're ready to learn something. similarly same setup where the samurai went, and he sat and sat and sat, and he said nothing was happening, so he said, I think nothing's happening, I should leave. And as he left, he ran into one of his other samurai friends, and he was in tattered monk robes, which was basically a disgrace to the samurai. They were like glorified beggars, and the comrades spit on him. And if you were insulted in the samurai code, you had to fight to the death. But this person who'd been sitting for a number of years just turned and walked away.

[34:30]

And after he'd walked away for a while, he realized that not only was he not, didn't need to kill his comrade, he wasn't even angry. And at that point he turned around and bowed towards the mountain, towards everything that he had been given, to the ways he had changed, and to the ways he had changed. So, I really appreciate — I just want to be quiet for a minute and let that settle. Yeah. It's this thing. It's this thing that's happening in the dark that we don't know, but we set an intention to show up in a particular way that's beneficial. And I'm trying to

[35:45]

I listened to a talk by Pico Iyar, thank you. And he has one, if you care to listen to it, called The Art of Stillness. And let me see. Well, I lost my place there. Anyway, that's one reference, if you'd like to listen to that. Oh, I know what I was going to say. He was talking about taking a Sabbath. from phone calls and Internet. And somehow that registered for me because it's like I'm always on the computer and I'm always following the news. Already now I've started to take a little break from watching it. But in the time that I've been perusing the Internet, two things that I found that were really inspiring or something I found that was really inspiring is a group I don't know if any of you have heard about it, called Life After Hate.

[36:46]

Do people know about that? And there's another group in Milwaukee called Serve to Unite. And that is, I believe that one was started by a group of Muslims after there had been an attack there. And the Life After Hate, and also... If afterwards, any of you know, I heard on the radio on Friday while I was out, I heard an interview by a young man, well, I know how young he is now, that was in Oslo that was a neo-Nazi and how his life changed. And so they've got their own group of Life After Hate. I've been trying to find that again, but if any of you heard it on Friday, I'd love to hear if you remember where you heard it. But this... What I'm understanding from reading about these groups, one of the founders of Life After Hate, he was a white supremacist and a skinhead.

[37:54]

And at one point when he was part of a group of people that were kicking and beating a young man, his eyes made contact with this person. And what he could see in those eyes was somebody kind of pleading for their life. And it just registered. I mean, he stopped, and he went off, but it's like something, there was some still point in there, and then that look registered. And it kept working on him, and he thought, I need to stop doing this. I need to stop doing this. So he was one of the people that was part of the founders of this life after hate. And this young person in Oslo also, it's a little different story how he got turned, but one of the things that they all have in common is that they're young, mostly, young people who've been in family situations,

[39:07]

that are not supportive. They're kind of loners in school. They might be bullied. They have nowhere where they're fitting in. And the groups kind of look for these people and they say, we'll give you a place to belong. We'll give you something that you can fight for. And they get called in, you know. So these groups, Life After Hate, are kind of looking for these vulnerable young people men and women, and very carefully with kindness. That was the thing that I felt they were promoting was his kindness. Very slow, very kind. Can we give you a cup of tea? Come and sit with us. This young man in Oslo was a neo-Nazi and he had tattoos all over and then he found himself in another country where all the circumstances, he ended up with no money, and no clothes, and cold, and nowhere to go.

[40:12]

And he was sitting in a bar kind of by himself, and someone offered him a beer. And he said, do you know who I am? And he said, yeah, would you like a beer? And another beer, and then the bartender offered him a beer, and then eventually he got invited to meals, and People said, well, do you need a job? Do you need some clothing? Anyway, people were treating him with kindness. There was some way that he felt like he could question his reality. This is one of the most encouraging things for me right now, is to know that there are other people that have done the work of looking in, finding where they want to come from and trusting the fact that if you keep watering something— I just kept this little plant here so I could remember.

[41:13]

If you keep watering something, you know, something can grow. Something can grow that's green or that's wholesome or that's healthy. But I think we need to do it together. And so I've just signed up for a training, you know, in nonviolence. nonviolent training. And I think it's not something that comes to us naturally. I don't think it's natural. Or, no, let me see. Maybe it is natural. It's trained out of us. I think we need to come home to that again. So I'm working for that. I think it's one of, you know, it's the first precept. You know, I vow not to kill. I vow to embrace and stay in life. And part of Paramitas is it takes patience, it takes generosity, it takes kindness.

[42:14]

What is it they say? Ten thousand efforts to mastery? Ten thousand hours. Thank you. So I think we have a ways to go. I hope... that something was helpful for you. I'm looking for friends on the way. Sometimes, or not sometimes, after this, usually we have a gathering for people who are interested in question and answer. But I don't know that I have any answers. I'm inviting you, if you want to, to come in conversation and tell me what you're working with. or what you think is beneficial or how you come to something positive. And I'm sure there's at least seven things that I forgot because I wasn't looking at my paper. I was more interested in looking at you. But anyway, I really want to, maybe going back to the beginning, what I want to say is thank you very much for coming.

[43:23]

And everybody here is very welcome. And maybe we could have just stopped with that. Thank you for coming and you're welcome. And please, as much as you can, to be open to surprise, to be open to not knowing and to meeting something fresh instead of out of your habit body. Thank you all very much. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[44:23]

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