This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Every time we come together like this, it feels like kind of a miracle. How did we all decide to do this this morning? What an odd thing to do. But here we are. So thank you for whatever effort maybe got you here in the door or over the road or whatever it took for you to be here, for us to be here together. My name is Meg. I lived here for a long time, although I've been living at Tassahara Zen Mountain Center deep in the wilderness for the past, since January. I'm really appreciating that deep wilderness practice.

[01:03]

And I also love coming back here. So this zendo is deeply familiar to me. And it's really a pleasure to be here with everybody. And we get to explore Dharma. What's better? And I was contemplating... what to talk about. And I thought, you know, there's nothing like sharing a good Buddhist story. So I have a story for you today. Just out of curiosity, has anybody heard of the Lotus Sutra? People familiar with that? A few, yeah. So this is kind of a classic Buddhist text going back to the Chinese translation appeared in the middle of the third century CE. coming from Indian sources, so it became quite influential in various schools of Buddhism. But there are a number of wonderful stories and metaphors and things that have survived over all of these ages.

[02:12]

And one is about the story of the prodigal son. And there's a Christian version of the prodigal son where the son goes off and unwisely spends all of his inheritance and then comes back and the father forgives him and brings him back in. And this one's a little bit different. You might notice the differences. And, of course, it is a son and a father, given the culture and the economics of the time. So just a request to bear with you. limitations of that metaphor. I know that we're talking about more than fathers and sons. And the setup for this particular story is that there are various disciples of the Buddha who feel they have attained realization in the sense of

[03:18]

Nirvana, they're not going to keep circling around in the cycle of life, and they kind of feel like we got it in a way. They say, oh, we're old, we're decrepit, we're, you know, we've sort of done our thing, and that's all there is to it. And then the Buddha expounds this other vision of the possibility of full, complete, perfect, unsurpassed enlightenment. Anuttara Samyak Sam Bodhi. And also this is related to the bodhisattva ideal, the sense that we're really kind of all in this together. There's not something like individual awakening or extinction. There's something about all of an orientation towards practice, enlightenment for the benefit, for the awakening of all. This very expansive vision. And what is the full enlightenment of a Buddha, whatever that might be. So it's orienting in this bigger way. And the Buddha prophecies that Shariputra, this great disciple, will be realizing this.

[04:26]

And suddenly the disciples are like, oh, wow, this is great. We didn't really realize this was possible for us. We never thought of ourselves this way. But now we do. This is really joyful. Thank you. So this is the setup. And... And even though it's not something really to be attained, you can't say you attain it, but some sort of whatever this realization it is. And they say, okay, this is what it's like for us. Let us tell you what this experience is like of realizing that maybe we're more than we thought. Or this understanding of what it means to be realized is more than we had thought. And... They say, okay, this is what it's like. It's like... It's like as if there were a father one time, maybe a long time ago.

[05:30]

And the father had this son. And the son... being a young son and kind of wanting to have adventures and things or upset with his father, runs off. So the father loses his son. And so he says, there was a man still young in years who abandoned his father, ran away, and lived for a long time in another land. And years in Buddhist stories often are a little exaggerated, but it says for perhaps 10, 20, or even 50 years, he runs off. But as he grew older, he'd run off, kind of forgotten about his father and family. Says he found himself increasingly poor and in want. And he hurried about in every direction, seeking for clothing and food, wandering further and further.

[06:32]

Until finally, just by chance, he turned toward... his homeland. He didn't even realize he was heading towards his homeland, but by chance he heads towards his homeland. And in meanwhile, the father had been searching for his son without success all of these years. And he had moved and taken up residence in a certain city where people didn't really know him or the history of this. And he had gotten very wealthy, so he lived in a big, beautiful home. Home, immeasurable, riches, treasures, gold, silver, lapis lazuli, coral, amber, et cetera, et cetera. Many grains in his storehouses, servants, clerks, attendants, elephants, horses, carriage, oxen, and goats beyond number. You can translate into modern. Maybe not the goats. And he engaged in profitable ventures at home and in all the lands around.

[07:36]

So he was doing really well. And he had many dealings with merchants and traveling vendors. But at this time, the impoverished son, who had kind of forgotten where he came from, wandered from village to village, passing through various lands and towns, until at last, he happened to come to the city where his father was residing. And the father had been thinking constantly of his son. But though they had been parted a long time, he never told anybody about this son that he had lost. He just kept it in his heart. And his heart was filled with regret and longing. And he realized he was getting older, and he really wanted to pass on this treasure that he had. But he kept thinking, you know, if I could just find my son and entrust to him all that I have and be reconnected with him, then I would feel content.

[08:41]

and not have any more worries. So the son was drifting around, just looking for any kind of work he could find, just hourly wages, gig work kind of thing. And by chance, he happened to come by this house where his father was living, but of course he didn't know it was his father. But he stood by the side of the gate, gazing far off at his father, who is seated, it says, on a lion's throne, his legs supported by a jeweled footrest, while Brahmins, noblemen, and householders, all deferentials surrounded him, festoons of pearls, et cetera, fly whisks, jewel canopy, you kind of get the picture, flowered banners, these texts go on and on and like this way, perfumed water sprinkled on the ground, et cetera, really wonderful, just wonderful. And when the impoverished son, kind of looking up at the site, when he saw how great this man's power and authority was, he was filled with fear and awe.

[09:48]

And he thought, oh, I should not have come here. He thought, this must be a king or somebody equal to a king, and this is not the place for me to find work. I'd better go to some poor village where I can more easily... meet people and earn some food and some clothing. You know, if I stay here long, they might seize me, you know, or make me work. And so he raced from the spot. That's what it says. But the king, Naira the king, that's his father, the rich old man, seated on his lion throne, spied his son and recognized him immediately. Even after all these years, he realized, oh my God, that's my son. And finally he thought, finally, I can pass on all that I have to my true son. And he suddenly appeared, which is exactly what I wanted all these years. So he said, hey, you, go get that guy.

[10:53]

You know, as quickly as possible, bring him back. And so the messenger ran off and grabbed the son. Of course, the son flipped out. And the impoverished son, ashamed and fearful, cried out in an angry voice, I haven't done anything. What am I being, why are you grabbing me? But the messenger just kept holding onto him and forcibly dragged him back. You can imagine this, it's not a great beginning for a reunion. And the son thought to himself, you know, I haven't committed any crime and yet they're taking me as prisoner. I'm gonna be put to death. And he was just so terrified. Imagine yourself being grabbed and dragged off to this great, powerful house. And he fainted in despair. So the father was actually pretty skillful. And he was observing this from a distance, and he said to the messenger, oh, you know, I have no need.

[11:56]

I have no need of this man. Don't force him to come here, but just, you know, sprinkle some cold water on his face so he'll... come back to his senses, and just don't say anything else to him. Let him go. Because he knew that because the son had a certain idea of himself and who he was and what was possible and what was not possible, that he would not accept the father just saying, but you're my son. This is all yours. He couldn't get it yet. The father realized this. And so he was very patient. And he didn't tell anybody else. He didn't say, oh my God, this is my son. He didn't say anything. He just said, just let him go. So the messenger said, I'm releasing you. You can go anywhere you wish. And the impoverished son was delighted and just went off and found a poor village to look for food and clothing.

[13:02]

But the father was thinking, okay, what do I do next? How do I do this? And he was very clever. He got two men who were working for him who seemed kind of, as it says, lean and haggard and had no imposing appearance. And they said, go seek out that poor man, but approach him casually. Tell him that you know a place where he can earn twice the regular wage. And if he agrees, then bring him here and put him to work. And if he asks what sort of work he'll be put to, say that he will be employed to clear away excrement. He'll be shoveling shit. And that the two of you will be working with him. So the two messengers set out, found him, and they told him all this. And... He got an advance on his wages and went with them. Because he could see himself doing that.

[14:06]

That wasn't too threatening. But then when the father saw his son, he just pitied, you know, and he wondered at him. And he would gaze out the window. And so now he was close by, but he couldn't really talk to him yet. And they saw him, you know, thin and haggard, kind of all dirty with all of this. And the father wanted to be close to him. So the father took off all of his fine things and put on some dirty clothes and kind of made himself, smeared himself with dirt, et cetera. And so he pretended to come down and be someone overseeing this labor. And he said, keep at your work. Don't be lazy, et cetera. And then... Later, he started talking to the son, and he said, you know, you're doing a pretty good job. And, you know, don't worry, I'm going to give you, I'm going to increase your wages. And if you need anything, you know, some rice, salt, flour, vinegar, whatever, you know, don't worry.

[15:08]

And I will give you a servant to work with you. And, you know, you're pretty respectful, and so I'm going to actually treat you, you know, like my own son. I'm gonna pause for just a second. So reflecting for a moment, what are the stories that we might have about ourselves of who we are and what might be possible? in our lives or what we're worthy of. There's actually a writer who studies the brain named Regina Pali, and she writes about something called the predictive brain, that we live the future that we expect.

[16:19]

She says, in a sense, we learn from the past what to predict for the future, and then we live the future we expect. So it may be something wonderful passes before us that would be quite possible, but our brain may filter that out, like, oh no, I don't even really see that, because that doesn't fit my story of who I am. of what's possible. And how can we start to step back from this unconscious limitation, just like the disciples of the Buddha in the early part of the story where they had a certain idea. This is who I am. This is what's possible. That's it. And then they realize, oh, wow, it's a lot bigger. It's a lot more heartful.

[17:25]

So gradually, you couldn't say it all at once. He couldn't say it once. You are my beloved child. Unconditionally loved. Unconditionally wealthy and whole. The son couldn't really hear that. So just very gradually gave him a little bit more and more responsibility. And it says, again, our lovely Buddhist, Timeline, the rich man kept him clearing away excrement for the next 20 years. Seventy by that point. I don't know how old the father is, but, you know, we put brackets around all this. And by the end of that 20 years more excrement, you know, the son felt he was understood and trusted, and he could come and go at ease through all the lands, grounds, palace, but he still lived in the same place he did before.

[18:52]

And he still thought of himself just as a poor person in an employ of this other. Then the father, the rich man, fell ill, and he knew that he was going to die before long. And he spoke to his still impoverished son, impoverished in mind. and said, you know, I have great quantities of gold, silver, rare treasures that overflow. I want you to take full charge of these. I want you to manage all of my affairs and all of my wealth. He says, you are to take complete charge of the amounts I have and of what is to be handed out and gathered in. This is what I have in mind, and I want you to carry out my wishes. Why? Because from now on, you and I will not behave as two different persons.

[19:57]

Don't be like one person. So you must keep your wits about you and see there are no mistakes or losses. And so he really took that on. You know, he started doing a really good job. managing all of this and suddenly was part of the household. But he never, you know, took inappropriately, it says, even the cost of a single meal. He was very, very honest in his doings. But he continued to live in these very impoverished areas and kept thinking of himself still as that way. But then after some time, The father realized he was becoming more self-assured and magnanimous, more generous in his outlook. And then finally, and the son also was starting to realize, oh, I've had a pretty low opinion of myself. Maybe that wasn't right. Maybe I could start to let that go.

[20:58]

And so as the father realized his own end was approaching, he ordered... his son to arrange a meeting with all the relatives, kings of the country, et cetera, et cetera, noblemen, noble people, and he made this announcement. He said, assembly, you should know, you should know, this person who has been serving me all this time is my actual son who was born to me. In the city back there, he ran away. For over 50 years, he wandered about. His original name is this. My real name is this. And I happened to meet him. And in truth, I am his father. Now everything that belongs to me, all my wealth and possessions, belong entirely to him. It says, when the impoverished son heard these words of his father, was filled with joy.

[22:00]

having gained what he had never had before, and he thought to himself, I originally had no mind to seek or want any of these things, yet now these stores of treasures have come to me of their own accord, of their own accord. And so they were his to start with, but he just didn't know it. And he took a long time to open to that possibility. Interested too in the part of where he actually becomes pretty skillful.

[23:03]

You know, he's grown. And he's able to be generous. And he's taking care of all of these things. And he's in the household. And he realizes, oh, I'm actually, I've matured. I'm doing pretty well. And the place maybe in our own lives of coming to a certain place of, yeah, life is okay. I've learned a lot. I've grown. But maybe, just like with the disciples, there's more to open to. And the story shows up, or a similar idea shows up in different places. There's also the story in the Lotus Sutra, another place, the story of the gem sewn into the robe. Same idea, where... A man is with his friend, and they're having a good time, and he gets kind of drunk, he falls asleep, and the friend thinks, oh, I really want this person to have plenty.

[24:11]

And so he sews a jewel, a priceless jewel, into the robe of the person who's asleep, and then goes off. And the person wakes up, but he, of course, doesn't know it's there. And he wanders about, struggling for many, many years. thinking he doesn't have enough, was not worthy, and then eventually his friend meets up again and says, what? Don't you know? There's a priceless jewel in your cloak. He said, oh, I didn't know, and there it is. So this is a perennial idea, and that particular story also shows up across cultures. So what is the What is the priceless jewel in our cloak? What is the inheritance that is already ours that we can't quite yet accept or see?

[25:12]

Does it have anything to do with what got you here this morning? In a lot of Buddhist teaching, there's sort of two sides, kind of paradoxes. On one hand, there's a kind of effort, showing up, listening to teaching, sitting, etc. And then, on the other hand, there's nothing to get or accomplish. It's already here. And part of it is just opening to that, simply. Settling down enough. that we can sense and open to what's already here, to who we already really are.

[26:24]

And I think this is what Zazen invites us to, our simple practice of just sitting. Simplifying it all enough. Settling down. Opening to what's right here. Right here. Not somewhere else. Right here. There's so much spinning us around. I've got to go over here and get this job and do that. We have this whole big room, which used to be a barn. I wonder if there was shit shoveled somewhere. I don't know. But this barn is now a place.

[27:28]

A protected, dedicated, cared for place. Just for this. To settle and open and be able to see and accept the treasure that's already... without exception. I think, too, as we come into practice, it might be interesting to see what are the limiting stories around what practice might be. You know, I can say, oh, I try to be mindful in my life, and I'm mindful when I drink a cup of tea, and that's wonderful, or I practice to focus or to settle down or whatever it may be, and this is all really, really wonderful.

[28:34]

But I wonder also, like the original disciples, maybe there's more. Maybe this is about something bigger that's not this pie in the sky or something else. Maybe this is our true inheritance too. And on one hand, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, he calls himself just a simple monk. So it's not getting puffed up about something. It's simply people practicing. But also, his vows, his practice, the aspiration to, you know, the bodhisattva vow to live fully for the benefit of all, to fully open...

[29:41]

to realization, whatever that may mean. Boundless. There's a book I appreciate by Robert Wright, who I believe he was a sociologist at Princeton when he wrote this, called Why Buddhism is True. Has anybody read that book? Just curious, anybody come across? It's interesting because it's not what it sounds like. It sounds like it's a Buddhist who's saying, everybody should be a Buddhist, be a Buddhist. But he came to it as a skeptic, a sociologist, and was curious about mindfulness. Well, what is this thing called mindfulness that everybody's talking about? So he came to it with beginner's mind, basically, very freshly, and started exploring, reading about it, practicing, et cetera. But somehow he was able to kind of keep asking the questions and go deeper and deeper and realize, oh, wow, there's a lot to this that's bigger than I realize.

[30:53]

Because when you start actually looking and inquiring and settling, you realize, oh, I'm not really what I thought I was. The world is not really how I thought it was. And it all follows from that inquiry. There's also a lovely phrase from the Song of Awakening, early text, this particular translation, poor or prosperous, poor or prosperous, Shakyamuni's descendants are rich. Poor or prosperous, Shakyamuni's descendants are rich. carrying in themselves the treasure of dharma. Moonlight shines on the river, wind plays in the pines. In the pure twilight of a long night, all is at ease.

[32:01]

Buddha nature, jewel of the precepts, is the foundation of our minds. Poor or prosperous, Shakyamuni's descendants are rich, carrying in themselves the treasure of dharma. I think we all are Shakyamuni's descendants, Shakyamuni Buddha. We may not know it. We may not be Buddhists, that's okay too. But this, there's so much suffering in our world that's driven by a sense of lack filling this gnawing sense of lack. Think of so much that's driven out of that. But the sense of lack in a way can never be filled because in truth there is no lack.

[33:09]

What happens when we realize the fullness of the richness that we already have, that we already are. What does that do to that drive? One more thing, then it'll be, then, finally, I'll be okay. It will be okay. I'll be safe. You never get there, only relatively, and then it doesn't last. The true security and contentment, the source is already there. We just need to sit down, maybe, and realize it. And I will say, if you realize it in you, if that's where you're living from, when you meet another person and they see that in your eyes, they start to feel that too. I'm going to end with one more story.

[34:28]

And I stumbled across this as I was thinking about this talk. I love that when you're thinking about one thing and then you open a book and it's like, oh yeah, that'll do. So there's another story. I came across a book by someone named Michael Jones who is a pianist. and had a number of albums and things out. And he was writing in this book about creativity. But he said that he was up at an educational retreat center in Northern California, of course. And I guess he was pretty well known at this retreat center because he was, again, he was a musician. He had a lot of albums out. There were other musicians. And he said most people there, when he was in residency there, knew who he was. but he said that there were also a lot of people coming and going, new people just arriving. And so he was there one evening, and it was just a big social room, and there was an old upright piano in the corner, and people were talking and everything, but he was just in the corner playing because he was practicing because he was about to go on a concert tour in Japan.

[35:46]

And as he was playing, someone came in and sat next to him and was listening. And then finally he finished, and he was about to get up, and the person said, oh, I like your music. He said, thank you. He said, but just one thing. He said, oh, what's that? You sound too much like Michael Jones. You really should develop your own style. Long pause. Okay. And finally he said, well, I am Michael Jones. He said the person had a long pause. And then he said, no, you're not. And they got into an argument. And Michael Jones says, I know I'm going to lose this argument about who I am. He said, you're not.

[36:49]

And... Finally, just in desperate, he pulled out his wallet and got his driver's license, and so the guy was like, you know, between this picture, and then his eyes got big, and he said, oh, you really are Michael Jones. He said, I'm really sorry, and then he ran off and told all his friends about this. So, two things. Do we know who we are? Do you know who you are? I am Michael Jones. No. Yeah. No. Really. Who are you? Really. And the world may or may not reflect that back to you. But also, on one hand, you are the cherished child.

[38:04]

We are. And whoever you think you are, whatever stories or ideas you may have of that, also, you're way more than that. There's a famous story of Bodhidharma who early on was credited for bringing Buddhism from India to China. He has an encounter with someone named Emperor Wu, and the emperor gets very frustrated with him, and he said, who is this standing in front of me? And Bodhidharma says, don't know. Don't know. And goes off to sit in a cave for nine years. So how can we know? How can we know? And the true knowing is also a not knowing. Can we live in the vastness? Can we live in the richness of that?

[39:05]

So I'll pause here. Please just see if anything there in this exploration, in this story that's been told, And we told countless times, does something touch you? Does something move you? Does something open for you? Is there anything when we leave this room you want to remember and carry with you back into your regular world? And I think we have some time for exploration. If anyone would like to comment, question, share, express, you're welcome to. Thanks, Meg.

[40:23]

Thanks, Sophie. One thing that stands out to me about this story is this. The fact that he was the son the whole time. He was always worthy of the palace and the treasure. It was always going to come to him. It always belonged to him in some sense. And the fact that it took... 20 70 years a long time right so how yeah i wonder if you could speak to that dual like we have it right now and there's value in the progress and the passage of time with it thank you yes and that's um You know, Dogen, the founder of Soto Zen in the 13th century, that was also part of his question. If we're already, in a sense, enlightened, we're already whole and perfect, why is there practice? Why is there a need for practice?

[41:24]

And this is an inquiry, you know, of how to, we have these coverings, you might say, or confusions, or even evolutionarily seeing, oh, I'm separate over here, you're over there. And there may be good reasons for that. And it sometimes takes a little time to realize, oh, wow, there's more. And in a way, it can happen in an instant. And it may take this practice of coming and helping each other and Sangha and Buddha taking refuge, Buddhadharma and Sangha. And this is, I think, why practice places evolve, to give more of a chance for us to see what's already here. And I think it's not a... You know, it's not like you sign up for a graduate course and you start here and you go a certain number of years and you get the degree at the end. You know, it's more organic than that. But it's, yeah, it's an exploration for us. Thank you.

[42:26]

And I think we get glimpses too, right? In some ways it's like, oh, right. And then you forget, like, oh, right. And it's maybe in a way more opportunity for the glimpses and more reinforcement. Thank you. How can we create more... about the images we're creating about ourself and the images other people create about us while also not attaching to the idea that we know ourselves. Yeah.

[43:29]

I think one way is to hear alternate thoughts stories, like this story. And then another way is to sit down, and I keep talking about this bumper sticker I love so much, which is, don't believe everything you think. But first you have to know what you think. Not so easy. But there is something about when we're sitting down, becoming more aware of the fullness of our experience, which, you know, may include what we're feeling in the body, may include emotions, may include our environment, but we can also become more aware of our thoughts. And versus just being in the thoughts and being carried off somewhere, it's like, oh, right, this is the story I'm telling right now when I have that feeling. Do I believe that story? And then there's also being with good friends, and this is also part of sangha, that people may reflect back to you a different story.

[44:35]

than what you have of yourself or working with a teacher who may see you differently. And I'm also appreciating what's sometimes called the three levels of wisdom or three practices. One of first really hearing, hearing teaching, hearing dharma, taking it in. Maybe this is a different view of the world and of who I might be or what's important. Okay, let me hear some of that. All right, now let me think about it. Turn it over. Examine it. Just maybe like the book on mindfulness, I was just saying, like, oh, wow, if I really think about this, oh, there's something here. And then you sit with it. And something seems to happen. We had a one-day sitting here yesterday, and a lot of people were sitting, hadn't done a lot of sitting, and were kind of newer to the practice. And it took a little while, about 50 people, to kind of settle down. But I thought... What are we doing here? And then by the end, though, the room was settled.

[45:40]

Something happened that people could settle into that, and then the truth of that, or that alternate understanding, can become real in a different way. So that's a couple of ideas. Thank you. Anybody else? Thank you so much for your talk. Thank you. I've heard readiness described as a horizon. Readiness? Readiness. And I think this is related to an earlier question. But how do we... Could you speak to how we can engage with our own... readiness for different levels of embracing our own boundlessness in a way that's just safe and wholehearted yeah i think just i think start wherever you are and listen to it's not really an idea right it's listening to your own heart or i like to think of this inner voice

[47:01]

think that we all have. And as you just start to turn to that, so it's not something out there, but it's more like, oh, what's right here? What happens when I turn and I open? And it's not just for yourself, but also all those around you. But I will say that there's a reason that there are traditions that have guidelines and have... teachers and have some history and a kind of container that sometimes opening to these things on your own can be a little bit confusing or disorienting. So there can be something helpful saying, oh yeah, people have gone on these paths before. And that if something opens like, oh wow, I'm not who I thought I was. It's like, yeah, that's okay. And that will become normalized too. So to be held with others and a teaching that survived through time can be very helpful as well.

[48:02]

Thank you. Oh, it's one over here. I think, unless there's somebody over here. Over here. Thank you so much for that talk. That was really wonderful. As I'm hearing the story of the 20 years of shoveling excrement, I think about how there were other men in that pit shoveling excrement who are not secretly the son of the rich. And for every priest that has a a beautiful gem secretly woven into their cloak, there are thousands that do not.

[49:08]

And so I guess my question is how to understand where your own story is holding you back from a more beautiful truth, but then also to balance that with acceptance of your circumstances as they are. Yeah. Well, I would say, you know, stories have their limitation to make their point. But my initial thought as you were speaking was they were all sons and daughters and children of the rich person. And we all actually do have the jewel in the cloak. And that is the bigger meaning of the parable. Yes, there are circumstances, and we work with circumstances, and we're very grateful when circumstances come together, like being right here right now, to realize, oh, wow, maybe there is a jewel somewhere in there, right?

[50:20]

But I think it's boundless, and I think it's without exception. Thank you. Perhaps that's a good note to end on, unless there's someone else. Okay. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[51:10]

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