It's been raining out here for a good day and a half straight without any let-up, and thank you all for making your way over the road and coming out today. The rains have been coming down, and a tree blew down right by the gate to the garden. It was a tree planted by E.F. Schumacher, small is beautiful, during one of our Arbor Days, and that blew down yesterday, and we had a little service at the site, noon service we had out there. So this is this time of year of rain and wind and the dark and things blowing down and things

[01:07]

blowing up, and the water is running brown in our faucets out of Green Gulch. If you fill a tea kettle, it looks like it's tea already, which is very good for... This is the Green Dragon Temple, and it's said that dragons can't live in water that's too pure, nor can fish live in water that's not alive, so it's nice to see this brown water coming out, keep the Green Dragon alive. So this is this dark time of year, and the whole of the Northern Hemisphere, anyway, is turning towards the dark. All the plant life and all the animal life, except all the people aren't doing this, probably,

[02:08]

although one might be feeling drawn to do this, to turn towards the dark and turn towards rest and hibernation. Hibernation is to go into an enclosure in dormancy, a state of dormancy or torpor or torpid for the winter. So we're feeling this, we may be feeling this, and yet our life just keeps chugging along, got to get up, go to work, feed the kids, do this, do that, travel, run around, and there may not be such a big change in one's rhythm, although one may feel kind of drawn to slow down and rest. I know for the gardeners out here, when fall comes around and it's dark and the garden stops its relentless production of flowers and the fields with vegetables, and from

[03:16]

early morning until the light goes down, there's things happening, and this begins to calm down and things die back, and the activity begins to happen underground in the root systems, not so much on top. This is a very good time to plant, although we usually don't think of the fall as a good time to plant, for the root systems to develop underneath the ground in the dark. This time of year is associated with the destroyer. In ancient times, there was a three-part goddess religion, and it had three aspects. There was the virgin or the spring, the mother or the summer, full, abundant, and mother,

[04:23]

and then in the fall and winter was the old woman, the crone, the destroyer, and the word crone comes from the same word as the word carrion, carrion or caries, like for your teeth when you have decay, caries, carrion, carcass, this is the crone, this is that aspect that is where things die back, where things are impermanent, things don't stick around, and this can be very scary, but it's the truth, whether we like it or not. It's the truth, there is this aspect to our life, and if we fight against it, if we fight against the destroyer or the impermanence, then there is a lot of suffering. So in ancient times, this aspect of our life was honored very fully and understood this

[05:28]

crone, and one of the names of the goddesses was Hecate, who was the goddess of the underworld and her name comes from the word, that means intelligence, and the words that she spoke, she spoke certain kinds of words that were words of power that came from this dark, came from the underworld. So we're in the third week of a practice period out here, and many people have come from all over the United States, young people and old people, to do a traditional time where you stop your regular activities and turn in a new direction perhaps, or if you've turned in that direction once before, you turn again in that direction and do a certain kind of work that's maybe hard to do on your own, the work of facing the dark, and then you

[06:36]

and facing one's difficulties and facing whatever comes up, giving yourself the time and space to do that. So I think for many people in the practice period, the romantic ideas one might have had about going out to California, coming out to Green Gulch to do practice period, and how great it was going to be, those maybe have had to be dropped and they don't, it doesn't quite match, these romantic ideas maybe are losing their, they don't fit anymore, and there's just the schedule and difficulties and our sitting, not only difficulties, hard times and good times, but this is the time often right in the middle here on this third week when some difficult things begin to come up. So the Krone and Hecate and this draw that we might have to go down into the dark and

[07:42]

look at our stuff and deal with it in a fresh, new way, mirrors this time of year. We have a ceremony out here today that Yvonne Rand is going to be doing for people who have lost children either to death, either through miscarriage, abortion, sickness, or other tragedies, and there's a time set aside to take care of this grief that one has, this grief, and direct one's attention to these beings. So this will happen this afternoon at two, and many people have already signed up. If this is something you didn't know about and are interested in participating in, you

[08:44]

can sign up in the office. So this destroyer, the womb, is a container that has, as many people know, both can give life and yet it can also give death. It has both aspects to it, and that's what this ceremony is about, honoring this side and giving attention to this side of the death side in permanence. So for many of us, we don't give enough attention to this area. There's an old myth from Sumer, which is the southern part of Iraq, there's an old myth about Inanna, who is the goddess of heaven and earth, and how at a certain point she

[09:48]

decided that she wanted to go down into the underworld. She was drawn to go down and look at this dark side of her life. And I wanted to read some of that together with you, and then look at how the practice period itself is also a going down into the underworld. So get ready for a story. This myth is at least 2,000 years old, and it's in poetry, and I won't read the entire thing, but I'll narrate certain parts because it would take too long. So Inanna, just to let you know who she was, was queen of heaven and earth. She had reached the prime of her life. She was married, she was respected, she had temples all throughout the country, people

[10:50]

paid homage to her, and yet at this time of her life, it wasn't enough. There was something left undone, some work that needed to be done. And she was drawn to go under, and this is how it starts. This is the middle of this long poem, and it's called, From the Great Above to the Great Below. From the great above, she opened her ear to the great below. From the great above, the goddess opened her ear to the great below. From the great above, Inanna opened her ear to the great below. My lady abandoned heaven and earth to descend to the underworld. So down she goes, down to the underworld. And before she leaves, she talks to her good friend and attendant, Ninshubar, and she says, if I'm not back in three days, please go to my father and tell him that I'm down in the underworld and have him come and get me.

[11:52]

Do not let me die under there. Please have him come and help me. And if he won't help you, go to another god. And if he won't help you, then go to Enlil, who is the god of nature, and tell him, don't let me die in the underworld. So Ninshubar promises that she will, after three days, go and seek help. And Inanna continues down, and she gets to the gates of the underworld. She arrives at the outer gates, and she's wearing her seven me, they're called seven me. She had the shugara placed on her head, the crown of the step. She arranged her dark locks of hair across her forehead. She tied the small lapis beads around her neck, let the double strand of beads fall to her breast. She wrapped the royal robe around her body, and she daubed her eyes with ointment called, let him come, let him come,

[12:56]

and bound on a breastplate called, come, man, come. And she slipped the gold ring over her wrist, and took the lapis measuring rod and line in her hand. Those are the seven me of her station in life. And she gets to the gates of the underworld, and she knocks loudly, and cries out in a fierce voice, open the door, gatekeeper, open the door, Neti, I alone would enter. Neti, the chief gatekeeper, asked, who are you? I am Inanna, queen of heaven, on my way to the east. If you are truly Inanna, queen of heaven, on your way to the east, why has your heart led you on the road from which no traveler returns? Inanna answered, because of my older sister, Ereshkigal. Her husband has died, and I've come to witness the funeral rites. Let it be done.

[13:58]

And Neti says, stay here, Inanna, I will speak to my queen, I will give her your message. So Neti, the gatekeeper, goes to Ereshkigal, the queen of the underworld, and says, my queen, a maid as tall as heaven, as wide as the earth, as strong as the foundations of the city wall, waits outside the palace gates. She has gathered together the seven me, she has taken them into her hands, on her head she wears the shugurah, on her neck the small lapis beads, on her breast the double strand of lapis beads, and she's wrapped in the royal robe, she has the gold ring around her wrist, she carries the lapis measuring rod and line. And Ereshkigal, when she heard this, slapped her thigh and bit her lip. She took the matter into her heart and dwelt on it, and she spoke, come, Neti, my chief gatekeeper of the core, heed my words, bolt the seven gates of the underworld. Then one by one open each gate a crack.

[15:02]

Let Inanna enter. As she enters, remove her royal garments. Let the holy priestess of heaven enter, bowed low. So Neti heeds her words and bolts the seven gates. And then she says to Inanna, the maid, come, Inanna, enter. And when she entered the first gate, she took the crown off her head, and Inanna says, what is this? Quiet, Inanna, the ways of the underworld are perfect, they may not be questioned. She gets to the second gate, from her neck the small lapis beads are removed. What is this? Quiet, Inanna, the ways of the underworld are perfect, they may not be questioned. And the third gate, the double strand of beads. And the fourth gate, the breastplate. And each time she was told, quiet. The fifth gate, the gold ring. The sixth gate, the lapis measuring rod.

[16:04]

And in the seventh gate, her robe, her royal robe was removed from her body. What is this? Quiet, Inanna, the ways of the underworld are perfect, they may not be questioned. Naked and bowed low, Inanna entered the throne room. Ereshkigal rose from her throne. Inanna started toward the throne. The Anunna, the judges of the underworld, surrounded her. They passed judgment against her. Then Ereshkigal fastened on Inanna the eye of death. She spoke against her the word of wrath. She uttered against her the cry of guilt. She struck her. Inanna was turned into a corpse. A piece of rotting meat and was hung from a hook on the wall. Meanwhile, after three days, when Inanna did not return, her attendant Ninshabur gets very unhappy.

[17:06]

She tore at her eyes, she tore at her mouth, she tore at her thighs. She dressed in a single garment like a beggar and went to the temple of Father Enlil and supplicated him, do not let your daughter be put to death in the underworld. Do not let your bright silver be covered with the dust. Do not let your precious lapis be broken into stone for the stone worker. Do not let your fragrant boxwood be cut into wood for the woodworker. Do not let the holy priestess of heaven be put to death in the underworld. And Father Enlil answered, my daughter craved the great above and she craved the great below. She who receives the me of the underworld does not return. She who goes to the dark city stays there. And then Ninshabur went to the next person, Father Nana, and said the same thing. And he also said she craved the great above and she craved the great below. Let her stay there. So finally, she went to Father Enki and said the same thing.

[18:12]

Please do not let your daughter be put to death in the underworld. And he says, what has happened? What has my daughter done? Inanna, queen of all the lands, holy priestess of heaven, what has happened? I am troubled. I am grieved. And then from under his fingernail, Father Enki brought forth dirt. And he fashioned the dirt into a kugara, a creature neither male nor female. And then from the fingernail of the other hand, he brought forth dirt. And he fashioned this into a creature called a galatur, neither male nor female. And he gave one the food of life. To the kugara he gave the food of life and he gave to the galatur the water of life. And he spoke to them and said, go to the underworld. Enter the door like flies. Ereshkigal, the queen of the underworld, is moaning with the cries of a woman about to give birth. No linen is spread over her body. Her breasts are uncovered.

[19:12]

Her hair swirls about her head like leeks. When she cries, oh, oh, my inside, cry also. Oh, oh, your inside, and so forth. And she will be pleased and she will offer you a gift. Ask her only for the corpse hanging on the hook on the wall. One of you sprinkle the food of life on it and the other the water of life. And Inanna will rise. So the kugara and the galatur heeded Enki's words. They set out for the underworld and they slipped through the seven gates like flies. They entered the throne room of the queen of the underworld, Ereshkigal, and she was lying there. No linen covered her body. Her breasts were uncovered. Her hair swirled about her head like leeks. Ereshkigal was moaning, oh, oh, my inside, and they moaned. Oh, oh, your inside, she moaned. Oh, oh, my outside, they moaned. Oh, oh, your outside, she groaned.

[20:16]

Oh, oh, my belly, and they groaned. Oh, oh, your belly. Oh, oh, my back. Oh, oh, your back, she sighed. Ah, ah, my heart. Ah, ah, your heart. Ah, ah, my liver. Ah, ah, your liver. Ereshkigal stopped. She looked at them. She asked, who are you? Moaning, groaning, sighing with me. If you are gods, I will bless you. If you are mortals, I will give you a gift. I will give you the water gift, the river in its fullness. The kugara and the galator answered, we do not wish it. Ereshkigal said, I will give you the grain gift, the fields in harvest. The kugara and the galator said, we do not wish it. Ereshkigal then said, speak, what do you wish? We wish only that corpse hanging on the hook on the wall. The corpse belongs to Inanna.

[21:18]

Whether it belongs to our queen, whether it belongs to our king, that is what we wish. The corpse was given to them. The kugara sprinkled the food of life on the corpse. The galator sprinkled the water of life on the corpse. Inanna arose. So, practice period, I feel, is a little like this, believe it or not. So you have people who may be in the fullness of their life and have the seven me, have their family, friends, their jobs, occupations, their skills, what they're known for in the world,

[22:22]

and yet their ear is drawn to the underworld, to the great below. They set their ear, it says that Inanna set her ear to the great below. What is it that draws one to look at this part that's untended, that may not be developed? Something draws you to want to look at that and deal with it and dig in there. And yet when you come into practice period, although we have certain small initiation rituals as you enter the temple, you sit a certain day and then have a ceremony, but the whole entire practice period is like one big initiation ceremony, just like Inanna's going down into the underworld and coming out again at the end, reborn, is an initiation ceremony. Virginia Bean-Rutter in her book, she's a Jungian analyst,

[23:23]

in her book, Woman Changing Woman, talks about the three aspects of women's initiation ceremonies, which include containment, transformation, and emergence. It could also be said enclosure, metamorphosis, and emergence. So for practice period, people come to be contained in the practice period, and to be in this container, you have to take off your seven me. I like the fact that it's some Sumerian word, me, but it's like the seven me, all your identities, everything that you're known by, and these are removed, your crown and your double string of lapis beads, these are removed, and your robe, figuratively speaking, you come naked into the practice period.

[24:29]

Maybe no one knows your skills and what you're good at, so you come into this container dropping away these signs of your identity, and that's not so easy, it can be very scary, actually. There can be some fear that arises, you know, don't you know who I am? I'm so-and-so. Well, sorry, never heard of you, you know. And yet there's a freedom also to drop away the letters behind your name or whether you have this, that, and the other accumulated. There's also a freshness to it, so there's both sides. So inside this containment, the familiar is dropped away. Now, I just read recently, a Zen master was talking about

[25:33]

the fact that familiarity itself, people like things that are familiar and are shackled and chained by these very things that are familiar just because they're familiar. So it may be certain tendencies and habits and proclivities that we have that may not be very useful of benefit to ourself or others, and yet just because they're familiar, we like them and we perpetuate them, we want them to remain and stay. So it's a kind of chain, being chained by the familiar. But in the practice period, everything familiar, lots and lots of things, I should say, that are familiar get dropped away. All of our support systems get changed and transformed. You can't choose, for example, what you like for breakfast. You get some steel-cut oats and something you never would have chosen.

[26:33]

Steel-cut oats are great, good for you, but that may not be your regular breakfast or sesame soybeans or something. So this can be unnerving. This may not be so comfortable, but whether you like it or not, practice period provides this time for you to experience the disrobing and the dropping away of your support. So the schedule itself, when you go to bed, what your work is, when you're quiet, when you talk, when you don't talk, what you're going to be studying, all these things are changed in this container, in this holding tank of practice period. And this is one of the rare and wonderful things about practice period, is the creation of this container, containment.

[27:35]

So while you're in there, while you're doing this, if you don't trust it, and it doesn't matter so much whether you like it or not, it doesn't turn on like or dislike, but if you don't trust it, it's almost impossible to do it and stay there and to receive the benefits of doing this together with others. But if there's a certain amount of trust in it, then you are open to the second part, which is transformation, which happens. So every transformation, just like Inanna, Inanna going down and stripping away who she was, every transformation includes a death of the old self and a rebirth of a new self, and it may be a whole new orientation to your life. It may be taking the Bodhisattva vow of working and living for the benefit of others,

[28:39]

for the benefit of all beings, which may not have been your main orientation for your life. This is a whole new way. In the ordination ceremony it says, this is the priest's ordination, there's a line that the ordinees say, which is, everything in my life has changed, except my vow to live in enlightenment. So everything can become transformed through this going down into this underworld. Now Inanna, she died and was hung on the wall like a corpse, like carrion, like the crone, decayed and destroyed. And this old way of living, her old self, old habits, old propensities, may need to be let go of and destroyed and transformed in this container. And then when this transformation occurs,

[29:50]

and in the practice period, when the practice period comes to an end, no one stays in practice period forever and ever and ever. They have a beginning, a middle, and the end. And this time of year is traditional, the rainy time. Rainy season is when practice periods were invented, gathering people together to practice together. So fall and winter are these times, traditionally. But they have an end. You're not always in practice period. There's a rhythm, there's a kind of cyclical rhythm of doing this kind of work and not doing this kind of work, doing other kinds of work. So when you emerge, when you come out from this time of work, you come out, we sometimes say, with gift-bestowing hands, you arise, Inanna arose, and was transformed, and in the rest of the myth,

[30:57]

she goes on to continue ruling and so forth. So you may come out transformed and ready to do work that, and you may have been doing this work as well before, but fully ready to do work that benefits the world and others. In the Flower Ornament Sutra, it says that there's many works that human beings can do to benefit other beings, and among some of the things it names are the natural sciences, performing arts, writing, horticulture, mathematics, psychology, engineering, names all these things that are of benefit to sentient beings that one can do with one's gift-bestowing hands when you emerge. So when you're in this container, in the unfamiliar,

[32:04]

it may be hard to describe to people what it is you're doing, your friends, your family may, not even if you're in practice period, even if you're getting involved with green culture or something, you may find it hard to describe to people what's going on, which remind me of this story I recently heard of a writer who spent a lot of time in Newfoundland studying the Native peoples there, and he was in this, it was the dead of winter, and he was with these Inuit women, old women, and they were all in this one place where there was a telephone, they were eating a meal together and kind of cocooned, all of them in this dead of winter, and it was his grandmother's 80th birthday, Jewish, little old Jewish lady, so he called her up from this one telephone, all these women were around doing their thing and talking to his grandmother, and she was saying, so how are things going there? How's the Jewish community up there?

[33:06]

And he couldn't even begin to describe to her sort of what was happening. Then they asked him, what did she say? And he couldn't tell them either what she had said. It just, there was no, it just missed, culturally missed. And I think this may happen, some of you may feel this way, who are in the practice period, or others of you too, I know, who are getting involved with Green Gulch, and then you try to talk with your parents about it or your sister-in-law or something, and it's just, you just miss totally. So when you come out in the emergence phase, when you emerge with gift-bestowing hands, it's pretty understandable what you're doing. There's not so much of a cultural miss. It's not so obvious what the difference is, really. It doesn't seem so odd or unusual.

[34:11]

So we often want something special, something special to happen, some amazing transformation, but it may be very subtle, this transformation, this death and rebirth, may not be so big and noticeable to people, but there's something there. Suzuki Roshi, when asked by his students once, can't we make our practice more strict? We want more hard practice. So he thought for a while, and I think they thought he was going to ask everybody to sit in full lotus, or we weren't going to have, we were going to sit till midnight every night,

[35:11]

or some really intense thing, more strict. And he said, I would like you to put the brooms with the handle side down when you put them away. This is very strict practice. The bristles, if you put it down on the bristles, they tend to wear out more and get kind of crushed. So you put it handle side down. This is the flavor of our practice. It may not be some big, giant, winged being emerging, you know, metamorphosis, but every time you put your broom away, you remember to put the broom with the handle side down. You take care of that broom, and your shoes, and your clothing, and the people around you, little things. These are the transformations that are invisible and traceless.

[36:18]

And this is the mystery. This is the mystery of the practice. The word mystery comes from the word that means shut your mouth. It means, Kadagiri Roshi used to always say, sit down, shut your mouth. And in practice period, that's mostly what happens. You sit down, you shut your mouth, and transformation occurs. But it's a mystery, you know. And the initiate is the one who keeps their mouth shut and goes through this initiation process. So this morning we chanted a chant called Merging of Difference and Unity, and the last line is, For those who study the mystery, don't waste time. Don't waste time. And impermanence, this destroyer, you might say,

[37:26]

this grim reaper, destroyer, is necessary. Without impermanence, without things dying and decaying, we couldn't have anything come up new. Death and decay are causes and conditions for birth and rebirth. We wouldn't want everything to stay forever and ever and ever. We'd be choked to death. Everything would be destroyed. We have to have this light and dark, this cyclical wholeness and roundness. So our relationship with impermanence is extremely important. And it doesn't matter whether we like it or don't like it. It's not a matter of our liking it or not. That's important. When we're familiar with something, just because we're familiar and we like it, this is chains. It may not be what we need,

[38:28]

it may not be of benefit, just because it's familiar. So in the garden, we know very well about compost, the decaying matter goes back into the earth. And it's the same in practice period. The decaying matter of our way of looking at the world, of our attachments, we include all that. This is honored. This third aspect of the goddess, the crown aspect, is honored. There's nothing that arises that should be kind of pushed away and kind of gotten out of the way so that you can practice well. All that stuff, all the strange thoughts you have, all the fears and all the, oh, oh, my belly, oh, oh, my back, all of that, you just say, like the kugara and the gala tour, you say, oh, oh, my belly.

[39:29]

You just meet that. You don't try to fix it. You don't try to get rid of it. You don't try to say, you know, if only my back didn't hurt, then I could really practice. You just say, oh, oh, my back. Oh, oh, my inside. And that's enough. You just meet whatever arises and honor whatever arises. It's all the Buddhadharma. It's all there for you to work with and transform. There's nothing outside of, there's nothing that it's not okay to have arise. If water is too pure, there will be no dragon swimming in it. If the water is dead, there'll be no fish swimming in it. So this is our muddy water, you know, this is our brown-streaked water that comes right out of the faucet that we get to drink.

[40:30]

That's necessary for this dragon that emerges, that's full of life with gift-bestowing hands, flying over the ocean, ready to do mathematics and performing arts and all sorts of stuff. The dragon, you can't do performing arts if you're pushing away what you don't like. You just let it arise in your life and work with it. So this is the mystery, because our minds tend to say, get that stuff away, this is not the good stuff. I want to be pure and shining and light. And we talk about that a lot, you know, the light. But light and dark are relative to one another. This is also in that same poem. Light and dark are relative to one another, and you see the light within the dark and the dark within the light, and you work, you go down, this time of year especially, go down into the underworld and into the dark and do your work.

[41:34]

This is not just for the practice period. Everybody needs this time. Everybody needs fallow time. Fallow time is not rejected or neglected fields. The fallow fields are completely prepared and plowed and ready, but they're unseated, they're left open and plowed, they're left open to whatever comes. But they're not seated with particular things. And this is very renewing and transformative, this kind of rest, prepared rest. So if you can take some time, any of you, any of us and me, to take time every day, especially this time of year, where we want to just kind of curl up with a book or sit quietly and keep our mouths shut in the dark. We're drawn to that. We are. Although society and parties and festivities

[42:39]

draw us in another way, often people get very depressed around this time, and there's a lot of conflict, really, what we're drawn to do and what is asked of us. So if you can, try to carve out some time to set your ear to the great below and follow that. Okay, thank you very much. Good morning.

[43:54]

Good morning. You know, we at Green Gulch look forward every Sunday to seeing all of you, and you're like our family coming to visit us. So thank you very much for braving the elements today and coming. Next week, next Saturday, November the 12th, Reb Anderson is giving a workshop called Koan, Stories of Awakening. And there's a workshop in the garden with Wendy Johnson, Increasing Your Perennial Garden. And then there's another workshop in the garden. It was everything that I had on my mind, and you brought it up, and I was just like, God, it can't be possible. But the only question I had was the part about wasting time.

[44:58]

In the end, when we read that sutra, every time I'm like, don't waste time, it just strikes right into my heart. And I was wondering, and I wanted to ask you this question, how is it possible not to waste time, but to be patient with your practice? How is it possible to not waste time, but be patient with your practice? That's the answer. I mean, there is no such thing as wasting time if you're being patient with your practice. Whatever it is you're doing, whatever activity, someone else may say, oh, they're wasting time, but you may be working very hard, paying attention, practicing the virtues of energy and patience and giving, but it's kind of secretly within.

[46:00]

It may not be so obvious. So not wasting time, being patient with one's practice is not wasting time. I think for me, when I hear that, the end of this poem, it says, I humbly say to those who study the mystery, don't waste time. That's the last line, and then clunk, with the bell goes clunk, kind of seals it. So who is wasting time? Can you waste time? Is there such a thing, really? Well, someone from the outside may say, boy, what are they doing just sitting there in a dark room? They're certainly wasting their time. But there's no kind of catalog of what's wasting time and what isn't.

[47:01]

Is fallow time wasting time? Well, no. It's very creative, necessary resting time. But someone who's a workaholic or something may say, oh, they're just wasting their time. So it's an inner sense of what you're doing with your body and mind at all times. Is that? There's also. You guys work it out. I've been thinking about this lately, and I found that the moment you are really sort of aware of the moment, then you never waste time. And you fully live the moment. And I mean, that's for me. I feel I waste time, and I always think, oh, I should be doing already the next thing, and then what I'm doing, I don't do it fully consciously. And then it's a bit of a waste of time, because I didn't really do it. I mean, I did it, but I didn't in a way.

[48:03]

So I find this total being aware in the moment, and then just whatever it is, you live. But if you pass over because you do something that you think you should do or, you know, or if it's in a hurry, I mean, it's particularly my case, then, you know, then it's often a waste of time. Sorry, that's all I have to say. Part of that also is practice secretly like a fool, like an idiot. Yes. That's another one of these poems it has, practice secretly like a fool, like an idiot. This is called The Host Within the Host, which is a reference to a Zen thing about the guest and the host and the host and the guest and so forth. Anyway, right, that's very similar, you know, practice secretly like a fool or an idiot. It may look like a fool or an idiot. Yeah. Yeah. When I got here a couple of years ago,

[49:05]

I was talking to Rev, and I thought I was going to come to studies and get to something with it, and I couldn't figure out what exactly we were getting to. And I asked Rev, I said, what are we, you know, he was talking about just sitting with no gaining idea. I said, well, are we just wasting our time? He said, yep. He walked away. With that grin on his face. Yeah, don't get caught by poems or anything, you know. So sure, turn it, flip it, whatever. You know, there's, I was recently, I'm reading this book, I just read it, and I'm reading it again called The Jew and the Lotus. Have any of you seen that book? It's about an encounter with the Dalai Lama of seven or so rabbis who were asked to meet with him because the Dalai Lama, His Holiness the Dalai Lama wanted to learn about how in exile

[50:08]

the Jewish people were able to continue their religion over 2,000 or 5,000 years, you know, well, whenever the diaspora was. 2,000 years. So he met with them in Dharamsala, and it's a fascinating book. Now, why was I bringing that up? Oh, in that book, they were talking about one, I guess you could say sect or teaching of Judaism, Hasidism, and the teachers of that, when the students come to that particular teacher for instruction, what they give them is a story. It reminded me of koans. They give them a story that particularly works with their situation right then and there. So the teacher has to know the student very well and be able to choose a story that hits the mark. So that's what reminded me of it. You got the answer of, yep, just wasting time.

[51:09]

So now you get to play with that and figure out what that meant for you. Somebody else might get, don't waste time. So the story goes with where the student is and what they need. But there is a tendency to kind of grab onto slogans and labels. You get one that really works for you, and then it's like, well, doesn't this just work for everybody? Can't we just try this out on everybody? But it doesn't work, as you'll find out. How do you know when you're going for the familiar, when it's a bad idea, or when you've become attached to the familiar, or when it's a good thing to go with the familiar? Yeah. Are there clues, signals to break away from the familiar

[52:10]

or go to the familiar? Yeah. Well, knowing that the familiar, this was helpful for me, knowing that the familiar will always be something we like, it'll fall into that category. So you can't use that as a touchstone, whether you like it or not. So what then do you, what can you look to? Using the practice period analogy, one saying is it's like putting a snake in a bamboo tube. So you've got this snake who usually does this kind of thing, and it can go right through a bamboo tube, but it's not its usual familiar way. So it goes into the bamboo tube, and it keeps bumping up against the sides there. So for a student or practitioner, you choose a bamboo tube that you trust.

[53:13]

Like it may be, well, what could it be? Zazen posture, an upright sitting posture. And you trust that, and you decide to try that out. But it's not familiar, and it doesn't feel so good. Maybe you've got pain in your knees, and yet you trust it. So when I first started sitting, I've told this story before, but someone said to me, the only time I feel good is when I'm sitting in Zazen, and the rest of my life just stinks. But when I sit, it's great. Jesus, it's really nice. Then I went to somebody else, and they said, the only time I feel bad is when I'm sitting in Zazen. The rest of my life is just fine, the work, everything. But when I'm sitting there, oh, all this stuff comes up. So who are you, you know, what is, how are you going to choose with that, you know, if it's like or dislike, or feeling good or not feeling good, can you use that?

[54:13]

It's so quixotic. No, that's not the word. Chimeric? What's the salamander that turns colors? Chameleon-like, you know, it's like, what is it? So, I mean, there are plenty of things that are like real addictions that people are familiar with, ways of life that are very harmful. But to stop them, like an alcoholic, let's say, to actually stop doing the things that you've been doing that are very familiar, but your life is just a mess, and do what's unfamiliar, which is just, which is not doing your addictive behavior, whatever it may be, taking a cigarette, this is one sort of category, addictive behavior. You don't like it, and yet your life begins to work better

[55:14]

when you look at this stuff. So, I mean, someone may need, I mean, you have to ask yourself, is this of benefit to self and others? I mean, that's one little touchstone to have. Is this of benefit? Often when somebody comes to me and they have a decision to make, should I do this or this, it's like, it looks like 50-50, and then if you can look at it, well, what is of benefit? What is truly of benefit? And that will like, oh, it'll kind of allow you to look at it from a little different way. So that might be one way to mine it a little bit. Yes? I've been thinking that these habits that we form

[56:15]

are really a way of dealing with the fact that there is no certainty in the world. And in order to live, we have to create some of this sort of thing. And sometimes these habits take over, but I think we all need something to structure, even though it doesn't have an existence, a necessary existence. I think you're right. I think when one faces the world and sees there's nothing to hold on to, that where impermanence is the name of the game, we create these little toeholds and handholds, and that feel very necessary structure. And we can't exist in the world without, we are limited and unlimited beings.

[57:24]

So we're limited in that we have to be clothed and fed and sheltered, and we can't just go along like sort of angels that don't need any nutrients. So these are these limitations that we have, or structure, as you were saying. And at the same time, if those things begin to basically intrude and kind of call the shots, they become maintaining those structures become the main thing that's going on, then you lose, because everything's impermanent, there's these opportunities all the time for delight and spontaneous understanding and grief. I mean, all this stuff is swirling and bringing forth this opportunity.

[58:31]

But if we create this kind of rigidity, like I must do this now, and after that I have to do this, because if I don't, it feels like the world is dropping, the floor is dropping out from under your feet or something. That's then based on fear. So we are afraid. This thing about impermanence as the destroyer is true. We do have fear around this. Fear and suffering kind of goes with the territory of this impermanence. But Buddhism teaches... I hate to use a sentence like Buddhism teaches. Yes, yes. Anyway, the closer you are to this impermanent flow of causes and conditions

[59:38]

and the impossibility, grasping things is basically delusion. That's from this poem. Grasping things is basically delusion. The closer you are to that, the more joy there is actually in your life. And at the same time, we have to put our shoes on and get umbrellas, and we have these limitations that are also joyful. Did that come across? Clarify the paradox. Yes. I was going to say this thing today in the lecture, but I didn't find a place to say it, but it's been running through my mind for the last couple of days. It's from Kadagiri Roshi, who's the Zen master who was in San Francisco in Tassara with Suzuki Roshi and then went to Minnesota. And several people who are here in the practice period will want a particular study with him. Anyway, he had a very unusual way of turn a phrase.

[60:42]

He would take some English word and use it many different ways as a mixed metaphor. He would use something like, well, I can't think of one now, but the one that's been going through my mind is this. We are all beings who are embossed in the universe, whether we trust it or not. And in my mind, this embossed, you know those embossers you can get that you slide the envelope in, you crunch down on the handle, and it has the imprint goes into the envelope, and you have a kind of embossed, it's raised. So where the stamp goes down, there's depressions in the paper, and where the stamp went up, the paper pokes out. So it's this perfect match, right? This embosser, it's sealed. It's like a seal in sealing wax. Exactly where the imprint goes in, the wax goes out. So we are all beings who are embossed in the universe,

[61:44]

whether we trust it or not. And for me, the way I've been thinking about this is, in our limited beings of having eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, and mind, you know, where right now as I'm speaking, your eardrums are doing various things, vibrating at certain rates, and you also, those of you who are looking at me or can see me, I have a certain shape. You know, if you're looking at me straight on, I have a certain shape. If you're looking at me from this side, I have another shape, you know, and you have another shape. So this is embossed in the universe. You know, it's like we are meeting each other completely and utterly, right exactly, at all times, like this sealing wax and seal. Eye in form, ear in sound. This is also from this poem. Eye in form, ear in sound, nose in smell, tongue in taste.

[62:49]

Thus in all things the leaf spread from the root comes next. So phenomena exist like box and cover joining. That's the same poem. So you have this complete intimacy that we have, that we don't pay any attention to, or acknowledge or honor or rejoice in, which is happening all the time right now. We are embossed in the universe. The weather gets cold, you put on your jacket, you get your umbrella out. You are embossed. You know, there is no way that you can be separate from the events, the causes and conditions of the universe. And this is a joy. This is not suffering. Or I should say the suffering of impermanence and the joy of being embossed in the universe is the same thing, looked at from a different angle. And even our suffering, you can't suffer. You can't even suffer. Not only can you not go out the front door

[63:52]

without completely being connected with the universe, you know, the weather and your friends and the cars and the traffic, but also you can't even suffer by yourself alone, kind of just your own private thing. It's completely dependent on the love you have for your good friend or the glass that you stepped on or whatever it is. You are completely connected in that way. And there is freedom and joy in this. So, anyway, I just offer that to you as a kind of, I don't know what, a metaphor that we are all beings who are embossed in the universe, whether we trust it or not. And if you trust it, if you have this trust with this, with then the unfamiliar or the familiar, it doesn't matter, you know. It's more, it's just one more manifestation of the Buddha Dharma, you know, like that.

[64:58]

So, this is very, this is emptiness, this is impermanence and emptiness. And we get one eye and we all get very caught in some other way of thinking, you know, and acting that's often based on trying to get rid of things that are changing and changing too fast or getting things, grasping things that will make it better or whatever. So, I mean, if you read, you know, Buddhist teachers and all, they often say things like only don't know. You know, there's a book I think called Only Don't Know. What is that supposed to mean, only don't know? But to actually go through your day in a mode of being embossed, you know, embossed on the universe and not knowing where the next little bump and curve of that old seal

[66:00]

is going to be and receiving that seal, you know, receiving the push, you know, as your foot hits the ground, you know, and only don't know, not knowing how it's going to be and how you're going to make it happen. So, sitting is very conducive to only don't know, you know, sitting zazen. I've just been running on and running on. Who else would like to say something? Yes? I'd like to thank you again for your talk, what I told you in the dining room, but now I have a question attached and I'd like to repeat is that your talk made me wander all the way through all my practice since a year and a half when I first came here, not knowing what I was going to found. It started with meditation and then came many, many other things that started helping me to know who I was

[67:08]

and enabled me to sort of peel out certain patterns that I was using that didn't allow me to be who I was, like a banana, you know, peeling one after the other one, trying to find who I was and my life has been much more happier and I'm very grateful for everything that I have received here at Green Gulch. But now I'm into another stage where I've been sitting in the evening and also today I have the wonderful experience to sit at 5.30 in the morning and I've been, you know, looking more to figures, like Jitsu is there and I see him now as, before I didn't like too much the figures, but now I'm seeing as a symbol and I have found myself in front of Jitsu when I needed compassion for myself or for a friend or for somebody that was needed and a lot of things happen.

[68:11]

I start crying sometimes, many things happen. But I still don't have this connection with Buddha that is in the center and I've been wondering a lot about this because I bought a Buddha that I put in the garden in a special place that is a moat where there used to be a castle. So now I took it away and there is Buddha and that place used to be with weeds. So now I decided that that's me over there, so I put a lot of flowers to make him happy, etc. But anyway, so I'm making this all by myself because nobody here has said, you know, Buddha you have to relate to this or that. So I found myself, you know, kneeling and bowing to Buddha in this evening satsang or in the morning and I really don't have a connection over there. I don't know what to think and I'm not thinking anything. I just wanted to get something from you related with that.

[69:15]

Yeah. So the Buddha that's sitting in your garden now is not in a moat anymore? It's in the center of the moat. In water? No, no. Just a dry moat. It's a dry moat with a flower bed all around. So in the center, so surrounded by all these flowers, there's a tree behind so Buddha is sitting over there. So in the morning I go over there and I bow from upstairs because he was in the garden. So it's a lot of joy to get up in the morning and see this guy over there, you know. So, you know, I'm making all this just by myself. So I was just wondering what goes in the formal world of you, you know. You go over there every morning and the evenings and bow and kneel to Buddha. So I wonder what's going in your mind. Yeah, yeah. So did you, just let me get this straight. So when you bow out the window to the Buddha in the garden, your Buddha that's at your house in the morning,

[70:16]

you do feel joy when you see him out there in the flowers sitting there? Yeah, I see the guy very happy with the tree and the flowers over there. So I go and take care of everything there, you know, on a periodic basis so there's no week. Yes, so that, but the one here you're kind of wondering about? Yeah, I just, you know, like today in the morning I was bowing to him and I don't get the connection of what I'm doing. Sometimes I think of myself. Yes, yes. I think of, you know, when you do this, I was told that it's like elevate me. So I ask my mind, elevate so you can sort out some problems or what, you know. So I just don't have it very clear. Does anybody else have trouble bowing to Buddha? Yeah. I don't feel anything when I do it. Like taking refuges and doing the bows? It's a gesture and I feel like I should feel something more. It just seemed like a statue to me.

[71:16]

Yeah, I would like, like she's saying, I would like to have this connection. Yes, yes. I do it with the hope that something is going to come, but it's with a waiting sense that, okay, if I go through it and I do it enough, then I'm going to feel some connection. Uh-huh, uh-huh. And do you know what time it is now? Uh-huh. How about you? Are we talking about the Bodhisattva Manjushri who's sitting there in the middle? There's the big Manjushri, which is the Bodhisattva of Wisdom who's in the Zendo, usually a traditional figure in the Zendo. And then in front of it is this Shakyamuni Buddha touching the earth that was given to us by the Society for Comparative Philosophy, Alan Watts' non-profit group that started to spread his teachings and so forth. They gave that to Green Gulch in honor of Alan Watts. So that's that figure, the smaller one right in front, for those of you who are familiar with the altar.

[72:19]

And then there's the Jizo, it's pronounced Ji-zo, directly across, which is another Bodhisattva that is of compassion. Yeah, Ji-zo. So anybody else, anything about bowing and Buddha? I was going to say, about the Bodhisattva Manjushri, I really like the, what, some, I can't remember who told me, but that he holds the sword to cut thoughts. Cut through delusion, uh-huh. Cut through delusion. Yeah. And so I feel like he's this really, like, big figure just sort of there taking care of us. Uh-huh. Like, I don't know really what the heck I'm doing when I'm sitting, but I know that this guy is taking care of us, like watching over us. Uh-huh. So I kind of feel like he's like a pal. I don't know what the other ones are doing there. How about you? I enjoy the alteration, how I feel after I've been sitting, and then you do, I don't know if it's 12 or 8, I forget how many it is, and it's kind of aerobic. Yes. It changes for me.

[73:21]

I don't feel myself bowing to in terms of, it's more, it's just a ritual that changes the space for me. That's where it is for me now. Yes, uh-huh. It's very interesting. Yes. When I was a child, I used to see Buddhas around, like in the Japanese tea garden. Yes. And at home we had, they weren't religious, it was the aesthetic thing. Those little traveling Buddhas that came in cases. Oh yes, uh-huh. And I loved the feeling of the meditation, the feeling of the stillness. There was something kind of wonderful about it. I mean, everything, even the hands, if you got a good one, you had a good Buddha. The hands and the whole body, it was something to stimulate a similar feeling in myself.

[74:24]

Yes. And that was very exciting. But then, the one on the little case, I lost the Buddha. Oh. And I lost the Buddha for many years. Uh-huh. Anyone else want to join us? Well, yeah, I find that just the gesture of going down, that's what it is for me. In a way, it's like a manifestation of humility, and I find humility is very important. And it's like a physical gesture of, to perhaps activate humility, the feeling of humility. And that's why I find it very beneficial. I see people nodding. In a dignified way. Yes. That's humble, you know, on the ground. That's sort of, in a dignified way, activating humility. Yes. Well, it's interesting. I mean, a lot of other people have just listened to these comments. The past couple of months, I've just been, my life has been very hectic, and I really haven't gotten enough center until yesterday. And one of the things I was doing was rearranging my room, and I had this wonderful stash that

[75:28]

was big of Buddha laughing. And so I found myself moving it closer to my bed and lighting a candle, which I never do, and some other spiritual things, and I sort of had put away pictures and stuff I was painting up. And there was no conscious thought. It was not a decision, I'm going to go and do this. It was a process of just rearranging my room, and this evolved. And I was struck with it when I was finished, and I thought, how interesting. You know, you've been disconnected from yourself, and here you are symbolically trying to reconnect yourself by these images. And so I think that's how I see the statue. It's more of a reminder to me. It's not that I feel that the statue itself embodies the thing that I have to connect with the statue, but it's a reminder to me to connect with my own Buddha nature, and that part of me. So it's a reminder of the internal process rather than an external being to that attitude. And the bowing and the ritual, I really like because it's a way of surrendering to that process. Thank you. Yes. When I bow to Buddha, or anything, actually, it could be Christ, you know, or a symbol

[76:35]

of, it could be a rock. I guess I get the same, or a tree, the feeling of mystery, that I'm reminded of what you were saying, and what you were saying, that I don't know it all. And there's some secret, and it's kind of a doorway to that part of me where I don't know who I think I was, that I'm reminded I'm not really who I think I am. So it's a transition. It's a transition. Thank you. For me, it's honoring the goodness within myself, the sense of connectedness that I have with Buddha, the Buddha nature. The feeling of there is no separation, that the upright sitting, the silence, the respect that I have for the way Buddha sits, that grounding, that's me.

[77:40]

There's no separation. And so, I bow to myself, in essence, saying, I honor the goodness within myself. It's the feeling. Thank you. It took a long time, though. Yeah. There's someone back here? Yeah. The bowing to me is like, represents an acceptance of what it is, of like, dropping into what's here and now and the present. And so I usually don't actually physically bow. I just sort of listen to what's inside. Oftentimes I don't, but when I feel moved to do so, I will. It's sort of a mystery to me if I'm going to bow or not. It just sort of comes into the moment. Uh-huh. This is at home, or like, if you're here? Tomorrow, if you come in here. Uh-huh. So sometimes you join with other people who are bowing, and other times you don't. It's just depending. Go ahead.

[78:43]

I was just going to say, I was sort of spontaneously taken up to practice the bowing. Almost everything that moves me. My garden, the room, the tree. I didn't really think about bowing to a statue, but I think when I bow, it's the same thing. It's everything. The mystery, as you said, and the magnificence. And almost being overwhelmed by the miracle of existence that I think really represents to me. While all this is happening, you know, I'm thinking, and I remember that when I had the courage to be in front of the Jizo. [...] I looked at his face, and I stayed over there like ten minutes, I think. And I developed a connection.

[79:44]

But I'm afraid to be sitting in front of the statue, because maybe it's disrespectful. I wonder if it's okay just to be in front and look at his face. Spend some time. Of all the statues. Uh-huh. I got the feeling while all this is happening that once I do that, then I'll see connection, because I haven't seen his face. I haven't seen what he's doing, what he's representing. Uh-huh. Maybe the way that I operate, maybe by seeing, maybe something will develop. So I wonder if it's okay to sit, not to sit, but to be in front just looking for 15 minutes. I think that would be okay. That would be okay. Okay. Anyone else on bowing? Yes. There's a sacredness that we have lost in our busyness, in our society. And when we spend time in the third world, even in cultures that are non-Buddhist cultures, it might not necessarily be bowing, but there is a sacredness to many aspects of our lives that we take for granted here.

[80:50]

And especially in Indonesia, bowing and honoring is a very big part of life. And there's something about bowing to a statue, particularly the Buddha, that I think is the sacredness of the moment. And it's also honoring that there was this person who brought this wisdom to us, and this lineage of teachings that has gone on, that we're able to take advantage of 2,500 years later. And a lot of very dedicated teachers along the way that brought it to where it is now. And so it's just in paying respects and honor, as well as honoring the sacredness of the moment. I used to hate bowing, but when I first came here, I was a guest student in 1984, and I knew nothing about Buddhism, and I thought, this is crazy.

[81:51]

They're bowing to a statue. There's nobody inside the statue. And it brought me back to memories of my early days in Catholicism. I didn't get it. And then, when I was living here, I think probably the first six months, I still resisted that. And I went along with it, because everybody else was. But then over time, it just became something that I couldn't imagine a day without doing it. And now, even though I don't get it in Zendo here that often, there'll be something to bow to every day. And I couldn't imagine a day without it. It would be like not brushing my teeth or something. I'm concerned that we don't bow much anymore at Zen Center. It used to be, my first acquaintance in the late 60s, that if you met somebody on the path, you always bowed.

[82:54]

We don't do that anymore, and I really miss it. Is it to be more American? Or did it just happen? Well, let's see. In Tassara, it's still the case. During practice period and during the summer, you bow. I think the only thing in the summer is there's a lot of guests who come to Tassara, and so they don't know about the practice, although people kind of see it and aren't freaked out by it by any means. But anyway, the students, when they pass, you bow and go along your way, and that still goes on. And it goes on here to some degree. It's not, you know, part of Tassara, it's in the guidelines. Bow when passing each other is in the guidelines for the practice period. Bow when passing each other. And it's a wonderful practice that allows you to meet up with somebody without a kind of socializing, chit-chat, frivolous thing.

[83:58]

You can just acknowledge somebody fully and then move on your way without feeling, how's it going, you know, small talk. And so Tassara, that's definitely the practice. And here, it's the practice during Sashin, you know, and it's the practice for some people who had, those of us who were at Tassara for a long time, it's still pretty natural, although you kind of keep your hands down, you know, if you feel like someone may be uncomfortable that, you know, you do this thing to them and they don't know what to do back. But in the city, I'm just trying to think of the city center, it goes on, but it's not so bow and passing, you know, as the bottom line. I think you can or can't. Yes? Yes, something comes out of what I just listened to in terms of bowing. When I've done a lot of business with the Japanese, at the end of every meeting, we both bow to each other, not the same.

[85:00]

We don't clasp our hands together, but it's a bow from the waist. Yes. And what I've taken, it's funny, I've never actually asked the Japanese why they do it, but what I get out of it is it's a mark of mutual respect. To what each party brings to the business table. So I've been told that depending on the depth of the bow, one is acknowledging, status-wise, one's business superiority or inferiority. I guess it just stems from the time when Buddhism was a much more powerful force in medieval Japan. It certainly, they certainly have not dropped, certainly Japanese businessmen have not dropped the practice of bowing to Americans or Caucasians. Yes, yes. No, in tea ceremony there's, what you said about the depth of the bow, there's three basic intensities of bows, I guess you could say.

[86:04]

There's the, you know, some of you have seen tea ceremony or gone to it, there's a bow that's just a slight bow, then there's the full one that's almost your head down to the tatami, and then there's a kind of little one that your hands are just kind of a little bit up like this in an inclination of the head. And they're done at various times throughout the ceremony when you do certain things, it's a small bow. Like when they ask you about the tea bowl, who made it, then you just, you don't do a great big bow while you're talking, you do this small bow. But when you give, after you've made the tea and you give it to the person and they thank you for it, that's the big, you know, you really show respect for that person doing this and they, for you as a human being, it's very moving. So it's embedded within this ceremony and practice. I think, you know, I really appreciate hearing what everybody had to say about bowing. I don't think I can even add, I mean, I could add my own experience, but I think everybody touched on all the different parts.

[87:07]

Some people who said this, at a certain point it occurs to you, you just want to bow, you know, you feel like you want to bow, either to a figure of compassion or the Buddha or whoever it is that is a manifestation of your inner truth or your understanding. And artists throughout the centuries have been able to create these objects, you know, that are in the physical world that you can actually see, that, you know, you feel met, you know, like we've been talking about feeling met, you feel met by a particular figure. And there's a psychotherapy in Japan, someone came and gave a talk about it, where you're brought, the disturbed person is brought into a room with these huge pictures of the Buddha, different aspects of the Buddha, different mudras and different facial things, very large,

[88:10]

and they're set in front of these, and it's supposed to be a very healing experience. They go into these rooms of Buddha figures. Narita, I think it's called, Narita Method, anyone heard of it? Anyway, we had someone come with these great big posters to the city center and hang them up and then we went to see them, just kind of a demonstration. Anyway, there is some, these postures of serenity and eyes lowered. The one in the Zen Do, Buddha Hall Zen Do, it's both, is touching the earth. That's the mudra, and you might go over that time of the Buddha's life, what was going on for the Buddha, Shakyamuni Buddha, while he was touching the earth. It's right before, actually, he was enlightened. You know, technically speaking, it's when he calls the earth to witness, that I, after Mara sends, you know, the fighting demons to get him off his seat, you know, the armies,

[89:12]

and then the lustful ladies, so that greed and hate doesn't move him, and then the last thing Mara sends is this undermining thing, like, who do you think you are? You think you're so hot, you know. You just get out of there, you know, you can't stay put, which is another very powerful inner voice that says you're worthless, you're, you know, you might as well pack it up and do something else because you are a failure at this move, and he stays put, and he calls the earth to witness, that's what he's doing. He's touching the earth, who says he has a right to be there, and the earth then shakes in seven different ways, you know, to sort of let him know. So that's the Buddha that we have, that Buddha figure. Usually you don't have a Buddha figure in the Zen Do, you have Manjushri, this Bodhisattva of cutting through delusion, and the Buddha is in the Buddha Hall. We don't have a Buddha Hall.

[90:12]

The Buddha Hall and the Zen Do are usually different buildings in the monastery. The Zen Do is for Zazen practice, but you would go to another place for service and ceremonies and lectures, but we have to combine it. So also in the Buddha Hall you have flowers, you have a Buddha figure and flowers, whereas the Zen Do you just have a little greenery, you know, just you don't need a lot of flowery offerings and all, you just need a little green, a little life-giving green to stay put. So anyway, it's a combo there. You've got this Manjushri and then you've got this Buddha right in front. So it might be a little confusing, you know, really. So that's the point at which, and to find that point in yourself, you know, where you're determined you're going to stay put, no matter what anybody tries to do, anybody or any thought, any internal pressure or despondency, despair,

[91:16]

feelings of incapacity, you know, all that stuff doesn't matter. Let it come, you know, you're going to stay put. So when you do that bow, you know, there's a mantra you can say, you can say plunging into the bow, and you just, you can try that for those nine bows or three or whatever, how many there are, you just go plunging into the bow, and you just go down into your world of reality.

[91:46]

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