Sunday Lecture

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good morning
happy valentine's day
on the blackboard and the whale right center there is a list of the six perfections and i noticed the list as i went out the door to come over here
and i thought well one of the perfect is surely is this day
if we could have drained up the details of the perfect valentine's day i doubt if we could have conjured up anything better than we have
so in addition to this being valentine's day the heart day the day when we celebrate loving kindness and open heartedness
to and from our hearts this is also the day when we mark or commemorate part in nirvana of the buddha and i think the juxtaposition of those two celebrations is quite wonderful and
source of for me are great joy
there is a sutra in this wonderful new translation of searchers
the long discourses of the buddha carrying the major teachings of the historical buddha called less have i heard translated by maurice walsh published by wisdom press and it is a splendid this book is a splendid treasure
and i recommend it to all of you you'll actually be able to read the sutra and mostly understand that
and what you don't understand in time you will stay with it but the language of the translation is really lovely
so ah
in preparing for the
the noting and being with the event called the party nirvana of the buddha is passing over into nirvana
i read the sutra that describes his last days and the circumstances surrounding his passing over
and what i'd like to do is to share some of those passages with you and to tell you about an experience i had
about a year and a half ago at a time of great grief and suffering for me when i came upon a painting of their scene
of the party nirvana of buddha
and to
make some connection which i think for any of us who
have discovered and are on the path articulated by shakyamuni buddha we understand that it has everything to do with the deepest to aspect of st valentine's day
that may seem
like i'm stretching something but i actually don't think so
but we'll see
i had this all figured out

i would just plunge in here
who knows about figured out and
so in the maha party nirvana sutra
there are several passages which i think you might enjoy which i've certainly been enjoying
one of the monks who was with the lord buddha
i sent someone to go and get some
gold robes
his name was pusa and he says to one man go and fetch me to fine sets of robes of cloth of gold burnished ready to wear yes lord the man replied and did so and pusa offered the robes to the lord buddha
saying here lord or to fine set of robes of gold of cloth
cloth of gold made the blessed lord be graciously pleased to accept them
well then focus on clothes me in one set and ananda in the other very good lord said book lisa and did so
soon after pocus i had gone and nanda having arranged one set of the golden robes on the body of the lord observed that against the lord's body it was dulled and he said it is wonderful lord it is marvelous how clear and bright the lord skin appears
years
remember we're talking about ananda talking to lord buddha on his deathbed
it looks even brighter than the golden robes in which it is closed
and the lord buddha replies just so ananda there are two occasions on which that the target is skin appears especially clear and bright
which are they
one is the night in which that the prerogative gains supreme enlightenment the other is the night when he attains the nevada element without remainder at his final passing
on these two occasions that the target is skin appears especially clear and bright
then the lord went with a large number of monks to the river kakuta he entered the water bathed and drank and emerging went to the mango grove or he said to the venerable venerable could kinda come kanaka fold a robe and for for me i am tired and want
to lie down very good lord
then the lord adopted the lion posture lying on his right side placing one foot on the other mindfully and with clear awareness bearing in mind a time of awakening
so i'm sure you've all seen pictures or figures of the lord buddha lying on his right side with his head in his hand in his feet at right angles to his legs this is the posture that's being described and it's actually meditation posture and one of the practices that you can do is to say
leap in that posture at night and it is said to be a posture conducive to sleeping with a kind of clarity and a weakness at the same time that you're resting and even sleeping
now this next passage i find particularly touching because it is his it is a passage that describes his concern for the man who fed him a meal which made him sick in which is at some level because of his time some on
wholesome
what's it called pick fruit or something like that pork
then the lord said to the venerable ananda it might have happened under that kinda the smith should feel remorse thinking it's your fault friend kinda it is by your misdeeds that the target again final nirvana after taking his last meal from you so he was worried about
what would happen to this man who had offered him food when he had been doing his arms around
but the lord buddha says couldn't as remorse should be expelled in this way
this is your merit kinda that is you are good deed that the togheter gained final nirvana after taking his last meal from you for friend kinda i have heard and understood from the lord's own lips that these two alms giving of our are a very great fruit a very
great result more fruitful and advantageous than any other which to
the one is the almsgiving after eating which this a target attains supreme enlightenment the other that after which he attains the nirvana element without remainder at his final pass
so here it is again these two alms giving us are more fruitful and profitable than all others couldn't as deed is conducive to long life to good looks to happiness to same to heaven and to lordship in this way ananda
mundus remorse is to be expelled
there's another place in the sutra where the lord buddha is worried about a certain amount of disharmony that may arise after he's passed over and there are many preparations and they make a funeral pyre and on which his body is placed in order to be cremated
it and there's some discussion and difficulty among his followers as to who's going to start the fire
so do you know how he solves the problem so it won't be a part cause of disharmony
the fire starts itself
so he is in every moment even at the time of passing over into nirvana consider it supremely considerate and careful and loving of his friends and disciples

then the lord having settled this matter at that time uttered this verse
by giving merit grows by restraint hatreds checked he whose skill abandons evil things as greed hate and falling wayne nirvana's gained
throughout this sutra there a number of verses which are great vs for memorizing as practice vs
later on in the sutra there's a verse from the lord buddha where he describes er
his life
he says twenty nine years of age i was when i went forth to seek a good now over fifty years have passed since the day that i went forth to roam the realm of wisdoms law outside of which know aesthetic his first second third
or fourth degree
if here monks live perfectly the world won't lack our hearts
at this the wanderer subrata said excellent lord excellent it is as if someone were to set up what had been knocked down or to point out the way to one who had got lost or to bring an oil lamp into a dark place so that those with eyes
i could see what was there so he's describing the buddha's teaching what is life has been devoted to just so the blessed lord has expanded the dharma in various ways
the lord said to ananda amanda it may be that you will think the teacher's instruction has ceased now we have no teacher
i want to ask you to remember that passage with the story i'll tell you know a little while
so he says under you might think
the teacher's instruction has ceased now we have no teacher it should not be seen like this ananda for what hi have taught and explained to you as dharma and discipline will at my passing be your teacher
very important line
take manhattan hand says if there isn't a realized teacher in the neighborhood take the dharma texts as your teacher
so we don't need to feel bereft
later on in a little bit later passage the lord says to his followers
now monks i declare to you
all conditioned things are of a nature to decay
strive on untiring lee
these were the target his last words
remember when he says addresses monks he's addressing all those who are practitioners he doesn't mean just those with a shaved head and rooms all those who are practitioners we sometimes get very excited because the literature looks like it's just talking to the monks what about the nuns
what about the householders he's actually talking to all those who are practitioners
all condition things are of a nature to decay
strive on untiring lee
and then there's a series of verses presented by various of his followers
all beings in the world all bodies must break up even the teacher peerless in the human world the mighty lord and perfect buddha's passed away
and then another of his followers as impermanent are compounded things prone to rise and fall having risen they're destroyed their passing truest bliss so the teachings on impermanence keep being reiterated
and then another one no breathing in and out just with steadfast heart the sage whose free from lust has passed away two peace with mind unshaken he endured all pains by nirvana the one's mind
is free

and then the last verse from the venerable ananda
he describes what happened at the moment of the put his passing terrible was the quaking men's hair stood on end when the all accomplished buddha passed away
and those monks who had not yet overcome their passions wept and tore their hair raising their arms throwing themselves down and twisting and turning crying all too soon the blessed lord has passed away all too soon the welfare has passed away all too soon the i
scared
but those monks who were free from craving endured mindfully and clearly aware saying all compounded things are impermanent what is the use of this
so let me tell you about this
the circumstance and the effect of my sings painting
some of you know tar toku who was a teacher and the tibetan tradition who taught here at green gulch ah in the mid and late eighties early nineties
and a year and a half ago or when he died after a rather unexpected illness at a time when he seemed to be in his prime as a teacher he got sick and passed over in a matter of some month
and his passing was in june at a time when the wisdom and compassion exhibit was up at the asian art museum
i had studied with term and per crochet for
i think seven years at the time of his passing
and he was so a great and very important teacher for me
a very dear friend and teacher
and i felt his passing very keenly
and one day i went into the museum i don't remember that i had any particular purpose except that i spent as much time at that exhibit as i could
ah justify and sometimes even that which i couldn't justify with such a wonderful opportunity
and this particular morning i walked into the museum
and in the first room on the right side of the room was a series of paintings in tibetan tradition tankers depicting various scenes from the life of the buddha and there was one particular painting of the party nirvana the buddha which i hadn't seen even though
i've been in the museum two or three times a week during the entirety of the exhibit
but at this point i hadn't seen this particular painting until this morning and i went over and i stood in front of it i looked at it for a long long time it was a very beautiful and very joyful painting and i was initially very struck how can this painting be so joyful given the subject me
i and my grief could only say that tension few will
the colors were very bright the was a painting of a beautiful landscape with lovely green grassy hills covered with flowers
and in the middle was a kind of thrown with the figure of buddha at the time of his entering nirvana
and he looked like he was kind of dancing on his deathbed
there was this kind of joyfulness in and glowing of his body
and on one side where monks with their robes pulled up over their heads all slumped and weeping and miserable and you could almost hear them crying
whoo whoo whoo
and then in another section of the painting there were monks proceeding with their life and their practice some monks were giving teachings some monks were meditating you know life was continuing with their study and practice
and a certain serenity and calmness
the dominant number of practitioners in the painting were in that mode
and then on one side was the stupa where the remains of the lord buddha after his body was cremated
where to be placed with this lovely small oh now that was from that cremation the stupor with a little boxes showing how his remains were divided up and shared among the community practitioners because that was one of the points of potential disarm
germany and before he died he said you know divide the remains up so that there won't be any fighting about who gets to have them he'd so completely taken care of the possibilities for unhappy states of mine so that was on one side and on the other side was the cremation
pyre
and a wonderful smoke coming from it it looking like rainbows so the smoke going up into the sky like a big rainbow
with this self starting fire
so as i stood before this painting and as i said i stood in front of it for very long time
i thought oh i forgot teachings
i have no cause to grieve for my dear friend and teacher who is fine
i have great confidence in his practice and have great confidence that he is well and fine
my tears of grief are really for myself
for the retreat we will not be able to enjoy together this coming winter the teachings that we will not enjoy
the travels we will not be able to go on together
and in that moment i realized but think of all that i have to be grateful for
teachings to last a lifetime and then some
and a great example of how to practice
a great example of what cultivation and realization on this path looks like
this grieving is about clinging and is not enjoying the benefits of receiving loving kindness from a great and realized practitioner and very careful instructions about sending those qualities of open heartedness which i have
received two then remember also to send them to the hearts of all beings
and so i had this experience of a kind of cloud lifting which did not again return
so as one of those experiences which
has continued to be a reminder for me about this path of liberation

so much of the buddhist tradition core of the buddhist tradition is about our capacity for cultivating loving kindness and an open heart
an instruction about what hinders
our capacity for open heartedness
sometimes i'm struck by the lists
of what hinders our open heartedness
so of course
even in this very sutra we have a list
but you might enjoy i suppose that's the right word

i actually i think this is not from the sutra it's from an earlier sutra about one of the buddhists
prior lives
and he is doing some teaching and he talks about being compassion filled and aloof from stench so i want to tell you about this stench business
the language is great
when a nice way to talk about the hindrances the stench among humans
what do you mean by stench among human beings
pray lightened my ignorance or wise one on this what hindrances cause human beings to stink and fester heading for a hell
from the pure light realm cut off so are you ready here's the list
anger lying fraud and cheating avarice pride and jealousy covering doubt and harming others
greed and hate stupor and delusion
quite a list
but what's lovely about the list is it's so specific
his words helps me go to exactly oh i know that one
but of course if i can't name accurately name a state of mind an emotional state which is a hindrance i have no chance of transforming that state of mind do i so this is an extremely useful list a great gift
i hope your pardon this is a your valentine's present defense but in the long run it will be create it will be very helpful
so he says the loathsome stench that these give off heads man for hell from brahma realm come cut off
so i would like all of us particularly myself to keep this list and is list of the hindrances
i often talk about certain practices for transforming afflicted states of mine in people sometimes say well what do you mean water a reflective states of mind here's the list
anger lying fraud and cheating avarice pride and jealousy covering doubt and harming others greed and hate stupor and illusion

i sometimes wonder when i read descriptions of the historical buddha if my
response to the descriptions
seems to me my response has changed in over the years from having had the great opportunity to know a few
human beings who have degrees of great realization
because there's something about reading these descriptions having have a direct experience
of qualities of great compassion and wisdom great kindness
a capacity to have a big mind
somehow these descriptions in the sacred texts have a kind of life that i don't remember them having
years ago when i first began reading buddhist texts
and i had some sense that the possibility of cultivating these qualities was way way far away in another time certainly not for me in my lifetime
so one of the great benefits in having some even brief encounter with a person of great realization is that we get what it means that the historical buddha was a human being like each of us
so here is this description of the lord buddha shakyamuni
and the quality called compassion field
that means that one dwells suffusing one quarter with a mind filled with compassion
then a second than a third and a fourth quarter
such a kind description isn't he don't have to just leap with sudden total suffused compassion start with one quarter of your being of your heart of your mind
and then gradually it oozes
thus one abides suffusing the whole world
up down and across everywhere all around with a mind filled with compassion expanded immeasurable free from hatred and ill will
that is how i understand compassion know
mrs of course exactly what we a description of what we do whatever we do a loving kindness meditation
hopefully
we began with ourselves we have ourselves on the map
so we began with the cultivation of that quality of loving kindness
for ourselves because of course if we are not able to love ourselves our capacity for loving another will be diminished
and then we extend the cultivation of loving kindness to those immediately around us our friends and loved ones
those a little bit at a distance we could begin this morning right now
sitting here in this lovely room
on this wonderful day
when the fruit trees are blooming
the birds are singing the sky is shining with the sun
we hear the rushing of life-giving water
the kind of day when our capacity to open our hearts to ourselves and to others somehow seems a little easier
so perhaps you would join me and giving ourselves and each other a valentine
and if you want you can close your eyes or not
but began with letting your awareness focus in the heart chakra
in that place of the mind of the heart chakra
generating loving kindness for myself with this much gentleness and care and tenderness as i can bring forth

as i generate tenderness towards myself i remember a painting i saw recently an old russian icon of the virgin mary holding the god of tenderness
with his arm around her neck tenderly and his cheek reaching to touch her cheek
may i generate that quality of tenderness
in myself towards myself
and may i then extend this quality of heart mind
to those that i love or near and dear to me
i extend this quality of loving kindness and tenderness
to the people sitting on either side of me and though sitting in front and behind me

i extend this loving kindness to each and every person in this room
and to those who are not in this room but who are here in the valley taking care of green gulch
fixing lunch
getting the guest house ready for
new visitors who will be coming
making sure that everything is as it should be
i extend this loving kindness to those driving by on the road even those on their motorcycles
who go by every morning every sunday morning and wednesday night
on they're very noisy and beautiful machines
helping me know what time it is
may i extend his loving kindness to all beings in this valley not just human beings but all the creatures the plants and animals and birds insects
the worms and bugs that live underground
every sentient being imagined and unimagined
in this valley
and in fact in this whole watershed
may i extend loving kindness to those people that i know from when i go and get my groceries or go to the laundry or get gasoline for the car all those people who help sustain my
may i extend this loving kindness to those that i work with
may i extend loving kindness to all those in my life with whom i have some difficulty
may i in particular except them as my teachers for the cultivation of patience and loving kindness

may i extend this loving kindness to all beings in this region
along the entirety of the west coast of america
and in fact throughout our country
in big cities and small villages
people living in poverty and suffering
people who live in wealth and abundance but suffering
all beings
in our country
on this continent
and in fact throughout the world
and i hold this tenderness and loving kindness for all beings both friends and enemies
and when i feel some resistance in expressing loving kindness toward someone may i take that as the occasion for teaching for pay attention
look into this resistance don't push but don't turn away either

may i let myself receive loving kindness and tenderness from others
in may i also send loving kindness and tenderness for my heart to others hearts

one dwells so few same one quarter with a mind filled with compassion than a second than a third and fourth quarter
thus one abides suffusing the whole world up down and across everywhere all around with a mind filled with compassion expanded immeasurable
free from hatred and ill will
this is how i understand compassion filled

on this spring day i'd like to close
with a poem of robert frost's
i think it's a poem about seeing
it's called spring pools
these pools that low in forests still reflect the total sky almost without defect and like flowers beside them chill and shiver will like the flowers beside them soon pick
on
and yet not out by any brooke or river but up by routes to bring dark foliage on
the trees that have it in their pent up buds to darken nature and be summer woods let them think twice before they used their powers to blot out and drink up and sweep away these flowery waters and the
these watering flowers from snow that melted only yesterday

so on this occasion of the pirate nirvana remembering the party nirvana the buddha
may we remember that what is born passes away what rises falls the great teachings on impermanence
and let ourselves enjoy the delicate beauty of this day
without clinging
understanding that in every meeting there is separation not caught by our regret about the way things are but celebrating the way things are
enjoying the liberation which the buddha has taught us about so compellingly
in may we enjoy this day dedicated to the heart
wouldn't it be nice if we could have everyday be valentine's day
but of course we can
british
may our intention

yeah wanted to know how to do with transformation of these athletes states of mind
an easy question which could be answered one
well
the most powerful practice for transforming any of these states of mind is to practice mindful awareness of the arising of each of in particular
and to if you there are teachers that come out of the mansion sutures about the specific detail was how to do that where you actually
prepare yourself i settled settling either by walking or line flying settling
and then doing a little bit of mindfulness of body and breath
and then for example with anger
as the emotion is rising and falling just noticed the emotion and whatever physical sensation seem to be accompanied
as you breathe in and you should read it
and in fact there's actually a five step mindfulness practice for transforming reflective states of mind and that's the first step of the five steps so the first step is just being present with and noticing but very in very
particular detangle both the emotion and the body sensations ago with him
then the second step is noticing or or focusing on on the breath in and out that the causes and conditions of this emotion or within me
breathing out i know the causes and conditions of this anger
that's a sentenced
the third step is
the second events acceptance that isn't notes it's just noticing that this is an emotion arising within my mind stream that isn't over there
the third and fourth steps go somewhat together the third step is breathing in i calmed things are reading now like
and in that stuff you actually visualize holding the meetings
add your heart the heart chakra and the description is with the tenderness or gentleness of a mother with her only knew one chance
and the fourth step is breathing in i ease anger reading out
and the first step is more intellectual kind of analyzing inquiring thinking about the causes and conditions of this anger arises
and the trick is to not jump to step five in goethe avoid actually going through the direct experience of fletcher what you're going through and the trick is to be stations enough to stay with each step if necessary for quite a long shot you might stay with step one for a long time
time and be surprised at how much begins to transform just was noticing what is so
so you can actually use that meditation with i think virtually any negative was what if statement
surprised myself i didn't think okay
but i actually think that that's if the practice of mindful awareness is
significantly more penetrating an effective in terms of transformation than most of us wants
i brought up the of what the catalog from the exhibit with the painting in it that i was talking about
so if any of you want to look at it this is this safe on get the page and case it gets lost in the weekend with
but you'll see what i mean where's with my description that he looks like he's just dance and year john cage ninety eight
so
cleaver the per nirvana of the buddha
the joyful miles
so
before some of you came in we were talking about what's avarice
what's the difference between avarice and greed
i would like to think about it some more but it seems to me than avarice
has is the state of mind that leads to taking what is not given stealing

contempt
contempt contempt is the is that kind of environment
ill will
it's a form of ill will to see me
the you know those kinds of questions are really useful to ants to ask and you really listened to the kinds of questions that come up in you because part of what's going on for us is finding what is the word in english that precisely describes what it is i'm experiencing inches a degree that that
process of identifying and naming his precise and accurate just that process is really useful there's a very liberated quality to that identifying and naming process
and so you know a lot of it is just getting more precise in the language we use filled with a virtuous actions which are
a will
research
my this past week i pastime
really that's generous
i made it a point and forty nine because i was going to accept and also and a status
the three person
one
i don't have the patent
as the buddha is er hat years to i'm getting a log into it just a over over and you're teaching your
oh
having played
and you know this is the wish fulfilling jam it was amazing and i'd start to stay night this and like this i'm not perfect but this thought would come moved to
one
i have a friend who went through a very tricky family gathering and she had to reiterate her intention to speak kindly sometimes several times during a meal several times during a single conversation to she'd started to slip in the oh that's right what's my intention to speak kindly and she just
held herself on a leash called kind speaking and at the end of ten days or two weeks she didn't hadn't lost it wants and she had a reputation in her family for having a big and fairly harsh speaking so it was so it can be done
right change
why she's right
he might have she proudly the or thought for the better
after all our mothers are not always for on
a
the plush
ah lord buddha thank you for my mother you like a great teacher of nine great teacher
last week my son and daughter and i took my mother whose eighty five to the dog show
my mother is one of those people who is more trusting of the animal world and in particular the dog world than the human world
and she's in this wheelchair with her little tennis shoes so she can scoot around and propel herself she's even though she's in a wheelchair she's actually pretty independent so she's scooting around she's right there a chair level with the dogs and she just went from one dog to another and it was just a love feast and it
oz loving kindness from her to the dog and from the dog back to her and there were thousands of god
and at one point i got kind of interested in the obedience trials which were really interesting and fun
she got kind of restless she said what do we doing here i thought we were here to see dogs
what the look on her face after about an hour she was completely soft and just as big smile on her face and she just it was wonderful there's a wonderful experience just singing the effect of a loving kindness event which is really what was going on
because you know the dogs come up and the liquor ears and nuzzle around and you know was wonderful really wonderful
so i wish we could have a dog show every weekend
the to deliver years
hi i have to cultivate a bigger town
the
tire above the yard girl

yes
regarding the emotion of anger and perhaps some you're there are times when you're seems to be useful
the great american myth
right i've also reflect the quality of fierceness which seems related to me
leaders
call the terrific it's
there's an articulation in particularly in the tibetan sacred our tradition of buddha's who are called terrific it's look pretty scary
you know saying teeth and
you say a little bit about
i think it has to do with motivation
one can look like a fearsome warrior if one's motivation is coming from compassion
the experience of relating to such a being will be very different than if that person is is acting from anger
but you know i wonder very often in our notion that anger is sometimes useful if it isn't really more a matter that the energy that accompanies anger and and which which is so useful in are moving in a situation where are we perhaps
historically been kind of frozen or stock if it isn't the energy that's really useful and that it's the that the emotion of anger which ten so often to be blinding or tends to be an emotion which makes it difficult for me to see clearly what is so it's that
part of anger that is so difficult but the the emote the energy itself if i could separate the energy from that that kind of blindness of hearts negative emotion that certainly is extremely ease
and i also think that any time we start talking about anger it's extremely difficult to know what we're talking about because the word is the word we use for quite a remarkably wide continuum of emotion
i actually find using the word aversion
the category of aversion anger being in that category but just noticing whenever the slightest turning away for a version comes up in me as helped me understand the territory of anger a little bit more clearly a little more accurate
because it's that turning away
that is is at issue
the lines and the jewel mirror awareness which is one of the poem since recited to in a place like this allah there these two lines which go both touching and turning away turning away are wrong it is like a great mass of fire
so there's the pass is often described as this this track between clinging desire and aversion
and
i've been thinking the last two weeks a lot about the whole image of a fire you know you've got a great big fire there's a certain place you can stand where you'll be too close and you'll get burned but if you move back to far than there's no warmth
there's a place where it's just right and and of course that just right places constantly changing depending on whether it's a huge bonfire or a little tiny you know amber's
so i find that the the category of aversion and noticing of version specifically moment by moment has been quite useful
and it doesn't go to you know a version doesn't go to full blown rage
there's a whole lot of other possibilities before you get there
anyway i i don't mean to be
harsh when i say the ah the american idea but i think that in a kind of a popular site psychology way
there is this notion that you know there is such a thing as righteous anger or useful anger and my own experience is that when we talk that way it usually means we haven't thought
in enough precise detail in care and accuracy about what it is we're talking about and that there's a a great deal of benefit from being quite attentive and careful about what we're describing
and you know it is true that in the buddha's teachings anger does not have a good ramp
at all there's no quarreling about that i think the bottom line is that the teachings are pretty pretty consistently taking the stance than to now there is no such thing as righteous anger there is no such thing that anger of a state of mine called anger which leads to anything but suffering
so then what we have to get ad is what what what are we talking about here in keep because certainly we all have the experience of being in a situation where we just we draw a line we say no this is not all right
so how often is it then a matter of well we're talking about boundaries and limits and i think it's extremely easy to read the buddhist teachings for example on the bodhisattva vow as a kind of a what jam an argument in favor of doormat itis and
it's a misreading of the teachers i don't think it's about being a doormat
said get at a little bit what you yeah is is a long conversation so complicated conversation few weeks ago my dharma brother mike ford and i did a weekend on anger we didn't even begin to scratch the surface you know we could do a
year meditation group on anger we probably it be fun i mean we have a pretty interesting time
anger and judgment
yeah
yes it's right on the same topic of i often don't hear the word fear or good feeling for you talked about than what i asked experience and experience others is that when confronted fear each for anger this is the london extremely familiar with so
or it feels safer or use say yeah so we're afraid of people who are different things there the us and beverages in challenge in game talked a little bit about over well i actually think that in that almost always at least in my experience angers as secondary emotion and that what's underneath anger off
fun is fear
and that to to be present with and even showing that what's really so with me as fear is a place of vulnerability that in some situations i just feel safer going to anger
but i think fear is a that an emotion that comes up in in a meditation practice actually comes up a lot
whatever buddha's teachings is fear of

well it comes up a lot but maybe not at least that i know it may be not so overtly but more by inference so for example in a lot of teachings there are great preparations before you do something
you're not only clean the room but you start a mark the territory it's a little bit in like going around peeing on all the posts marking the boundaries but you also you do a purification you
a call for protection of one sort or another
a practice which i think is extremely wholesome is to never meditate without first drawing a circle of protection around your seat so that's not addressing fear directly but it is by implication because there's some recognition that into meditation state you're actually oh
opening up your actually consciously and by choice moving towards a condition of vulnerability you're not going to do that on the corner of times square not if you've got your wits about
and in some traditions and buddhism there's actually a kind of setting a calling forth very clear visualizing of protectors you've got you know a full suit of armor and and oath
and an equipment for protection
yeah it comes out on where patients
three refuge
so what is it
she referenced off from what is fearful right
hello
zoom
the major fear that's addressed in the environment teachings is a fear of jess and as described as the sir that's mister big
in the fear department and one of the ways of overcoming the fear of death is to do dress rehearsals
and that's one of the reasons why one of the places where a yogi or of yogi guinea might meditate in a cemetery
and doing meditations on corpses and doing meditation is on visualizing ones deteriorating body all of that is really in service of addressing that particular fear and i think that's probably the fear which is the most overtly a day
breast but look at this print of my entire up her hand is up in this gesture this is the murderer which means actually i think it's like this isn't a she's got her hand of this gesture is have no fear
so very often for example you'll see pictures of the buddha as healer in his form as a as the healing source in that mujer have no fear of pain
take the same woman who did this a silkscreen print has done one of a medicine buddha where she's drawn him in this with this gesture and it's interesting how just being reminded of that gesture
helps one remember all that's the state of mind that's possible
now in some of the and i was teasing this man who was asking about anger about these terrific it's these terrific forms of food as well this is the protection murderer
hey back off
you know and on top of that i might have if i wasn't dressed up like a terrific i'd have as five skulk around i'd have a necklace of fifty freshly severed heads i'd have an a and made of bone
i'd probably have some things if i was really terrific and and flaming hair and eyebrows and mustache and beard all flames you would not want to mess with me
and pretty scary so
at the wisdom and compassion exhibit where's the book
there is in it at the entrance to the exhibit was
this wonderful figure of viaje planning
you know is this was his motor holding of asha that he was there as a kind of declaration if anybody's got negativity and on all some states of mind there is the beloved measure pawnee was slamming flaming hair
the entrance so that to anybody with nonsense
in their state of mind should just stay out don't come in here
the tibetans are really great about articulating this stuff and they actually draw and make figures of the scariest stuff we can come up within our minds last night some of us were looking at a few figures there is one figure of the
the female form of terrific compassion who is the protector of the dalai lama she makes broil broil goals drawings look like a sunday picnic
so and i say i just made my own experiences that the emotion of fear comes up and dharma practice a lot because the minute we go to something that's unfamiliar that's likely to be the emotion that comes up even
one of the reasons why having a guide that you trust and think is reliable can make a big difference having company
having other practitioners is very health
yeah am i
a life lived according to or
different from
a life lived according to the my or repression know i'm no titles and might want to hoard and toward version
how this just the pathetic
well one of the virtues is not lines
and denial is a form of lying to myself about what is so it may be what i'm capable of amazing rather primitive those sublimely effective defense mechanism and i don't i have actually great regard for denial i'm not interested in trying to break that
mode with someone i'm quite interested in working with my own capacity for denial but when i see that in someone else i actually have a lot of respect for what's going on because i don't think people go to that mode of protection for no good reason
and i think the only way to to open that up is for the person to do it themselves to have the opening inflicted on you in my experience experience rarely works
so you know it's a real question you know in drug and alcohol abuse around the whole practice of doing an intervention
i know i've just i've been involved in interventions and mostly they haven't worked
in the long run
so
i also think you know
in the workshop that some of us are doing this weekend we've been talking about one of the things we talked about his
having the habit of judgment habit of seeing what's wrong
i'm i've got a postgraduate degree and seeing what's wrong kind of nose for i can see i walk into a situation i can spot what's wrong immediately my mind training is thoroughly in that department i'm sorry to say
so
for me the cultivation has been to focus on what's right because i don't even have to put any energy into what's wrong
now in cultivating my capacity to see what's right i'm not say well i won't notice what's wrong i'm just saying this is where i'm going to place my energy
i'm not saying that i don't see you know that the floor hasn't been swept but i am noticing that the windows were washed and i'm going to put my energy towards oh how nice that the windows are clean and we can look out of them or that the fire was built
i mean just to get to some balance between the two
so it may look like denial but you know that's why each of us is the authority about what what we're doing what we're working with
and actually you know i think most people have a surprisingly accurate picture of what's going on if they feel safe enough to be able to admit what they know
i'm always amazed if i ask someone to tell me about what they think their strong suit is and what their weakness and you know i can doing job exit interviews i've been amazed to let the person who's leaving a job talk about what their strengths and weaknesses were they've
said things that those of us doing the exit interview wanted to say it were a little nervous about saying and wouldn't have said to the same degree that the individual speaking did
and if the environment is safe that kind of truth telling becomes possible
it's one of the reasons why i think the first perfection is the cultivation of generosity
if i'm really generous with myself i may be able to begin to see what is behind some behavior that's not so thrilling you know like line for example
any of us who've grown up in a family where one of the ways we survived was by lying we're not gonna be able to give lying up until we can see how that pattern has served us until we can begin to see what's right about lying historically and that may be we've come to a point where we don't need
that form of taking care of ourselves like we did when we were little kids
yeah
hum
oh
i'm not
the think that didn't come as why
the stinky list yeah
things without you
i know a tibetan lama who says guilt is like take last night you put out the garbage after you had dinner and you did the dishes and clean up the kitchen he put all his stuff in the garbage is as guilt is like going out to the garbage can the next morning and palling around through the garbage just in case you made a mistake
you should look some somewhere
a pretty good pretty interesting description ever and ever
a person
there's a practice in that's quite fundamental in the buddhist meditation tradition which is sometimes called the practice of bear noting
and it's really the antidote to the habit of guilt and us
getting caught by the sopot of the soap opera
you notice whatever it is you're working with you note it very briefly and immediately bring your awareness to some neutral body sensation and then the breath
so you notice and then you leave town as it were as sometimes likened it to a movie director who you know the camera shot as seen a certain point he says cut well as soon as you've noticed you yell cut so you do the noticing but you don't do that obsessive
ing and the story and the you know all the endless habitual judging stuff oh i'm such a creep and why did i do this and keep doing the same thing and error if i just note
line
and bring my attention to the sensation of feet on the floor breath
and most of us think but gosh if i leave this territory of noticing i'm gonna miss something i really need to be looking am thinking about but it doesn't work we just get caught then we start judging the judge
and and i think that if we would just try it just see what happens when we keep bringing awareness to what is so that's about ninety eight or ninety nine per cent of our work
so there's no moment for guilt to slip in there if you do that
because you're already back at you know body sensation and breath
now that that particular practice is coming from some assumption that feeling guilty isn't very useful
but in the teachings about the mind and in buddhist psychology there is a great appreciation for the wholesomeness of our capacity for shame
but it's this is you know was at bradshaw talks about toxic shame i'm not a great bradshaw fan but i do think this distinction is useful because there is a kind of shame that is a capacity to say i did such and such and i regret it deeply and in some
and i want never to do that again that capacity is seeing and buddhist psychology is very wholesome and in fact the absence of that capacity which seems to go with an overdeveloped capacity for blame
is considered unwholesome and is in buddhist psychology what i think we and restaurant psychology call socio of pathology
the overdeveloped sense of blame and an absence of a sense of shame is seen as as unwholesome
to an interesting description isn't
it seems like out
the other other i
stupid was in the same way they prepare your
that if we if we try and stuff it at that doesn't work either try
athletic come to convince their we have to come up but we don't have to let it come out up doesn't mean out
so one of the first things that happens when people start doing a breath orient and meditation practice is you begin to discover an option that for a lot of us we never knew existed most of us have grown up thinking we can either stuff it we can either suppress or express that's our range of options meditation practice brings us
a third option being completely present with what is so without either suppressing or expressing it's a radical third option so you know you see people walking around a place like sahar i'm using you can almost see the steam coming out of their ears and their
nostrils or
you know they're really pissed off well that's what's up you know if you stuffed anger for a lot of years that's the a lot of what's gonna come up for a while and it's a great relief to realize i can really be honest with myself about this is the emotion that keeps coming on and i don't have to
be afraid about what murder and mayhem i may do if i start acting from this state of mind
so i think this is a another one of the tricky areas because you can also use a meditation practice as a way of stuffing it and looking good
it's called hiding
you know we're very tricky were very clever we can use anything to hide including spiritual practice
so always the question for me is is what i'm doing in this moment authentic am i really including all of what i know about what is so for me

you know there's another piece about
about guilt which is i think we often it becomes habitual and so we hardly even notice that we have this habit
so a lot of meditation practices about getting to know what's habitual just beginning to see more accurately what are what are a mental lands on it is
this is not a very cheery conversation
her is worthwhile the homeland well i think it ought to be
cheering ones i think we need the cultivation of joy
i think it's tricky when we get to handle this evidence
yeah

that's where find compassion for the south and software you punk and i don't want
really where method
that's the generosity part
absolutely
yeah
and i'm wondering what what
ring and to one song
recrimination about the path being scrubbed past the stick harold for your parents
i'm for fool
i am speaking to the that are not oh yes
well you know there's a practice which for any of us who grew up in the catholic tradition
we're not thrilled to hear about but it's actually very effective very ancient practice in many traditions it's called confession and in fact the practice of confession regret and renewal of ones vows and very powerful practice
as forgiveness is self forgiveness is a loving kindness meditation there's a classical loving kindness meditation on forgiveness where you forgive someone for something they've done either intentionally or unintentionally through actions of their body speech
remind
but the second part of the meditation is to ask someone to forgive me
and it's amazing to me how many people fall asleep or forget or whatever for the second part of the meditation and
and in fact i think that one of the issues for us in this country in our encounter with the buddhist tradition is that
for a lot of us the early stages of practice are about health healing or about cultivating some sense of self worth cultivating a kind of mental health if you will remember years ago by bake him when he was visiting his instant or said you know it's like building a house and you you're all busy on the upper floors
building this beautiful structure but what about all the snakes and lizards and alligators and dreck in the basement have if you haven't cleaned the basement you're going to have dry rot at least a shaky structure
so and my experience is that none of us is able to actually have a deep developed authentic spiritual practice if we don't have some degree of self confidence
one of the reasons why it's extremely dangerous to say i'm going to do something and then not do what
especially important in spiritual practice to not say i am going to sit zazen every morning for an hour and then you know three weeks later and i realize they've sat once
it's it causes a lot of harm
in that sense of eroding our sense of self confidence in or so
you know it takes a certain amount of self confidence to sit down and take on the posture the body and mind of the enlightened ones
that's that's that's quite a lot and if you think you're a piece of shit how are you gonna do that pretty hard to do that and especially in the practice doing that in mud there are painful carriage project sure pleasant
rebecca joke and
no but this is the path between of version and desire
and it comes up with our response to our own state of mind to our own actions past actions so you know when i begin to look at how what's my response to something i did years ago if i really let myself be with that it's an extraordinary kick if you will to not do that thing again
if i want to live a life without regret one of the questions i ask myself hopefully before i do something is is this something i'm going to regret
and it it comes up when i begin to look at of actions have consequences the more i begin to see the consequences the more i begin to pay attention to causes and conditions
and the more i began to look at what my state of mind is the more i take care of my state of mind it's not worth it to me to do something that's gonna leave my state of mind or rack
some years ago a teacher of mine said nothing is worth sacrificing your state of mind and i i i've come to completely believed that i haven't yet found something
interestingly a few weeks ago i had an experience where i have a friend who's in a terrible situation
and i consciously overextended myself to keep her company because of this terrible situation she's in and i was very conscious i'm willing to sacrifice my state of mind this afternoon in order to be present with my friend
mistake
well my ability to stay with her is
thrown into question if i'm wiped out
and i got caught by a my agenda not hers
and i'm busy taking care of something that doesn't wanna be taken care of yet
oops that again
is really interesting because it was the one was the first time in many years where i thought i know i'm sacrificing my state of mind but in this case i'm willing to do it
realized i made a mistake
they overreached
i got a little carried away with being a little more important than i am there
was via means really really important teaching for me because i can get him my ambulance and be off driving to the design and benefit for a mania
i keep forgetting that my ambulance is supposed to be on blocks i'm not driving it this life
people keep lending me their ambulance sometime
f know what was been rendered
the cause the situation is constantly changing more a big the wherever one years at that time that seems to be right at that time that one a large deal jennifer
how about bathroom
that's pretty theoretical environmental groups oh well says it fit my experience while remit to i it's very clear to me that there are certain actions or emotions that lead for me
the to the condition i would describe as a disturbed state of mind and that those periodically arise yeah i'm sorry i love minima a when he was to suddenly change my agenda or another reason is quite ok or five hundred up conclusion yes to the were what
never read them going to change them
yeah all i'm saying is that in a specific situation where i realized i was tired i already had worked hard all day that there was a certain stretch that was going to affect my state of mind and that i was willing to do it to keep my friend company
as things have unfolded in then
last couple of weeks i realize
that was an inaccurate perception of what was called for what was appropriate in that situation i realized in hindsight was an inappropriate read if you will
and i was struck by it because it was the first time in a very long time i've consciously said i'm going to do this knowing that it will probably affect my state of mind i'm paula you're gonna leave my brother rob was because i find it was during usually get stronger
the term important but i would encourage you not to apologize for bringing something up because whatever comes up to the g