This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Morning. Okay. Well, this morning is our beginning of Sashin. So I thought that I would read you someone's observation about Sashin. I said it would be helpful. It goes like this. Day and night in the chilly hall, the little group sits cross-legged. I try to forget myself, press on with the task, but The week goes by without enlightenment. Knees aching and tired of making the effort.

[01:05]

A woman asks this morning, why am I doing this? I know better than to try to answer. When I open my mouth, it will be for lunch. The light is terrible in here for reading, but I'll try. So I'm going to go over Zazen again a bit. I think repetition is important. And if we really want to... Oh, okay. If we really want to get something in our bones, the way that we practice in Zen, we say what we get is through our pores.

[02:15]

Dharma bypasses our thinking mind and comes in through our pores. So that's why the spirit of repetition is so important. to do something over and over again until you're it. There's no separation between myself and the practice. When there's a separation or a gap, we never quite feel comfortable. So the spirit of repetition is, of course, we repeat and repeat, but we never repeat the same thing twice. We simply repeat the process but not the experience. So yes, there is repetition of the process but there's not repetition of the experience. Whatever it is that we get, which is not something that we

[03:26]

stick on is absorbed through our pores. You know, we say, Master Isan said, walking in a fog, we reach down unawares and we realize that our clothes are wet. So, Rather than waiting for the great experience, the experience comes very slowly. The experience comes through absorption. And then one day we say, geez, you know, I get that. I've been doing this for a while. Oh, now I get it. And so it's kind of like that. Our practice, you know, is not step by step. Learning one thing. and then learning another. Most practices are like that.

[04:29]

First you learn this and then you graduate to that. That's like going to school. So Soto Zen is not like going to school. We say Zen training, but it's not like going to school. There's no graduation. So we'd just jump in the ocean and start swimming, which is very different than other practices, even other Zen practices, where you start from delusion and work your way toward enlightenment. That's step by step. Dogen. It's not Dogen's practice. It's not Shikantaza. It's not Suzuki Roshi's practice. Suzuki Roshi said,

[05:31]

I thought, when I was young, I thought that was the way. You start here, and then you do this, and then you graduate to that. And at some point, you know, you got it. What brings us to practice is our enlightened mind. But we don't recognize that, of course. We just know that there's something that draws us to practice. It's like, but you don't know what it is. We can think about what it is. Well, you know, I like this, or I like to get enlightened, or I like to get, you know, more concentration in my mind, or whatever. There are various reasons that bring us to practice, but usually they're not complete. Not the complete... correct reasons for practicing. But as we practice, even though we don't know what we're doing, eventually, when we reach maturity, we realize why we're doing this.

[06:41]

That's one reason why it's really hard Because the practice is kind of amorphous. You know, it's just doing stuff. Doing stuff. And nobody's saying, if you do this, you'll get enlightened. Because enlightenment is what brings us to practice. There's something called enlightenment and there's something called realization. And they're not exactly the same. Because realization is the realization... oh yeah, I see. It was there all the time. But I didn't know that. I didn't know that until I got it through my pores or felt down or felt my clothes and they were wet. So that's called sudden enlightenment. And I'm just, I'm not kidding, but it is actually.

[07:56]

What's Gradual is just sudden. Sudden is just gradual. Sudden enlightenment. Shazam. Bam. Oh, I got it. No problem there. That's good. That's called realization. But realization is not necessarily like that. And so often we're waiting for the great, the big bang of our enlightened mind. But it's actually, you know, it's Soto Zen and Rinzai Zen. Soto Zen is called farmer's Zen. And Rinzai Zen is called, is more militant, you know, the general moving his troops. Soto Zen is the farmer growing his crops. So the general moving his troops is kind of like Adept Zen.

[08:58]

Virtuoso Zen. You really try to, you know, it's only limited to some few people who are really making strides to achieve a certain adept spirituality. Whereas Soto Zen, and it's only, you know, a few people who can do that. Comparatively speaking, Soto Zen is for everyone. Soto Zen, everyone is equal. And added Zen, there are the achievers and the unachievers. And you compare the achievers with those who are not achievers. This one's really great and that one's kind of, you know, he's okay, but he's not there yet.

[10:03]

But in Soto Zen, everyone is equal. The stupid, the bright, the brilliant, the bad, the good, the criminals, the saints, everybody's equal. This is difficult achievement to understand or to practice. It's really hard to practice equality. We see there are four wisdoms. The great round mirror wisdom. Mirror wisdom is our original mind, the jewel mirror. Samadhi of the jewel mirror is to see everything clearly without Bias. When you step in front of the mirror, you see your image.

[11:06]

And then you take another look and you see a different image. Because when you first look, you see the real you. And then you say, wait a minute. Then you look again, oh, I see. And then you kind of do something to that image in your mind. Because you want to see yourself in a certain light. rather than seeing yourself as you may are. So this is a kind of example, you know, when you're walking down the street and you look at, you see somebody in the window, reflected in the window, you say, who is that? Oh, that's me. So we don't always see ourself really clearly, but we have an image or idea about ourself. So the mirror sees everything as it is. That's called seeing as it is. Suzuki Roshi liked to say, our practice is to see everything as it is. Everything as it is.

[12:08]

That's the practice. That's the mirror wisdom. The second wisdom is the wisdom of equality. To see everything exactly as it is. The sameness of everything. we're always looking at the differences but actually there are differences but there's the same we all have the same nature so this is what's hard is to see all these different aspects as the same same value same virtue the values are different but the virtue is the same meaning the elephant is equal to the mouse. The elephant is a little bigger than the mouse. The mouse is a little bit smaller than the elephant, but they're the same because they have the same nature.

[13:10]

They're just two different aspects of the same nature, two different expressions of the same nature. But the elephant is big and the mouse is small. So the third wisdom, is the wisdom to see the reality of differentiation. Yeah, that elephant is really big. I can see that. He's got a long trunk and big legs and all that and tusks. And the mouse has got whiskers and he's really little and he scurries around. So that's the difference, the wisdom to realize the difference between things and to see what that really means. And then the fourth wisdom is the wisdom to act appropriately given the other three wisdoms. So the fourth wisdom is the wisdom of appropriate action.

[14:14]

So you act according to the reality of the other three wisdoms. seeing everything as it is, realizing the equality, and realizing the differences. So equality is horizontal. The differences are vertical. Vertical and horizontal. Vertical is like hierarchy. We realize that there's hierarchy in every moment, in every activity, every... created thing has its place in hierarchy. Hierarchy means some things are low, some things are high, some things are broad, some things are narrow, but everything is relating to everything else according to hierarchy of some kind. We don't like to use the word hierarchy because we associate hierarchy with bureaucracy.

[15:22]

But that's only one aspect of hierarchy. If there were no bosses and everybody was just equal, hierarchy would just emerge because it's there. It's just there. This is what happens in revolutions. We say revolution, but I think it's better to use the word revolt. A revolution means you start here and you go around and you come back to the beginning. But that's not what happens in revolutions, so-called. That happens in revolts. In revolts, the leadership is eliminated and a new leadership emerges and takes the place of the old one and is either as bad or worse. So that's not revolution, that's just revolt. but it is a revolution in a sense that it comes around and it's the same so just different people like Africa is African government is king of the mountain one guy eliminates the other one and then he's the boss and he takes all the wealth then the other one comes and upsets him and he takes all the wealth

[16:52]

That's the way it is here too, but anyway, it's hidden. These four wisdoms are connected with the way we actually practice in the world. So what we cultivate is these four wisdoms. Consciousness, you know, the four wisdoms are related to the levels of consciousness. Remember we talked, I talked about, I don't know if you remember, some of you do, I know. The alaya vijnana, there's something called turning, called, you know, the alaya vijnana and the eighth consciousness, and then the seventh consciousness, which is manas, or ego, self-centered consciousness.

[17:59]

And then there's the sixth consciousness, which is just manovajnana, which is just taking in the information from the senses and making sense out of it. And then there's the sense, sensory input, consciousnesses, seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching, the doorways of perception. So that's usual consciousness, and that's called our mind. When we say mind, what do we mean by mind? Well, mind is consciousness, various levels of consciousness which work together and we call that my mind. So when we say my mind, it's just a general statement that doesn't mean much.

[19:01]

I mean, we understand it's pointing to something, but what it's pointing to is our levels of consciousness. So, and then there's something called turning, or when wisdom turns consciousness, when consciousness has an understanding, is enlightened. Enlightened consciousness turns, and the four wisdoms take the place of those consciousnesses. So consciousness becomes wisdom. But until it turns, and the ego is the main turner. When the ego turns, and gives up its place, then the consciousness turns and becomes wisdom. So when we let go of ego, when ego has its rightful place, when self-centeredness has its rightful place and does its true work, then the storehouse consciousness becomes the mirror of wisdom and

[20:21]

The ego becomes the wisdom of equality. It's no longer thinking of itself as so important. And the sixth consciousness becomes the wisdom of differentiation because it takes all this information in from the senses. And the senses become the wisdom of... appropriate action. So we always know what to do. Even though there's right and wrong, we always know what to do, which may not be according to our usual idea of right and wrong. I don't know if that makes any sense. So I want to talk a little bit about Zazen and about thinking.

[21:25]

So we have two aspects of thinking when we're sitting Zazen. One is the mind, the monkey mind, which is always active. And the other is not thinking anything. So neither one of those is desirable for zazen. The monkey mind is the one that we're always worried about. My mind is just so busy all the time because we expect in meditation that our mind will not have any thoughts. Not having any thoughts is not zazen. It's simply blind mind. It's simply that the mind always has to have thoughts. And we cannot neglect the thinking mind that is continually producing thoughts.

[22:38]

Even if you don't have a purpose in thinking, the mind is always looking for something to think about. because that's its business. It will not lay down because you say, lay down, stop it. Now stop that. Stop doing what you're doing. Lie down. It won't lie down. Even if it does lie down for a few minutes, and then you look away and it's up here, right? So you're beating out fires. You beat out a fire over here and then it pops up over here. So you cannot control it. But that's because we want to have a blank mind. We think we're supposed to have no thinking in our zazen. So zazen is not not thinking and it's not thinking. It's think not thinking. Think not thinking is the art of zazen. It's the zazen's thinking.

[23:42]

It's not my thinking. So It's sometimes we think and sometimes we don't think. Sometimes, I'll put it this way, sometimes there is thinking and sometimes there is not thinking. And when there's not thinking, then we think, well, this is the way it's supposed to be because there's this window where there's no thinking. So that window where there's no thinking is simply the window where there's no thinking, which is just another state of mind. And the window, and the rest of the time, there's a lot of stuff arising, which some of it is interesting, some of it's confusing, some of it's not so interesting, but it's simply what it is. The body is sitting zazen, while consciousness is creating all kinds of images.

[24:48]

So that's zazen. But when creating images, that's called the monkey mind. So the monkey mind is always creating images. And so we don't want to be carried off by the monkey mind. So we bring our attention back to posture and breathing. And then the monkey mind is going on and we bring it back to posture and breathing. goes off again and bring it back to your posture and breathing. And then we think, my mind is just too busy. But if we don't worry about the busy mind, then the busy mind will not affect us, will not be a problem. It's only a problem when you think it's supposed to be different. So this is called non-attachment.

[25:59]

Non-attachment means not to be attached to the thinking, to the thoughts, and not to ignore the thoughts. To not grasp at the thoughts and not to push them away. So grasping... and pushing away are both wrong. Grasping and pushing away are getting caught. So the trick is to not get caught by the stuff that's waving at you. I'm over here, look at me. But you have to recognize we can't ignore the thoughts and we can't push them away. You simply come back to posture and breathing when you realize that this is what's happening.

[27:12]

But while this is happening, you also can be paying attention to posture and breathing, even though the thoughts are there. So, your purpose is to think the thought of zazen. Thinking the thought of zazen is to think posture and breathing. You know, when we Posture is first, breathing is second. So, if you, I don't know if you remember, I talked about lifting up your sternum when you sit, which pushes your lower back forward, which gives you the perfect posture. As soon as we start getting caught

[28:16]

by our thinking mind, our posture changes. We get more... This is the posture of thinking. And so, we have to reassert our posture. And keep coming back to lifting up our sternum. If you lift up your sternum, that's the place to come back to. Just think about that. Your head is on top of the spine. Think, think, think, think, think. Think, think, think, think, think. Come back to posture. Like that. And then you can occupy your mind by going around to all the points of posture. Is the mudra? Okay, mudra, psalms barely touching, good shape, round, cosmic mudra.

[29:29]

Is my head really on top of my spine? Is my nose really in line with my navel? Are my ears really in line with my shoulders? Are my eyes really open? Are my teeth together? Is the tongue really the roof of my mouth? Are my shoulders relaxed? I have the thought this morning that Zazen posture of the upper body is like your coat hanging in the closet on a coat hanger. The coat hanger is your shoulders and Your head is the hook. And your coat is just hanging there. There's no effort at all. Your coat doesn't have to make any effort to hang up there.

[30:29]

It's just hanging. And if you allow your shoulders to just hang, your whole posture will change. There's no need to... You know, we get into this. That's an exaggeration, but not always. Just let your shoulders fall off if they want to. So there's no tension up there. This is where tension, tenseness, accumulates. Anger and frustration accumulates in our upper back. in our shoulders. Then we carry it around. So sometimes we have to work to let go of all that tenseness. And so I think that it's good to do that.

[31:32]

To think the tenseness is draining out. The tenseness is just draining out and leaving my upper back and my shoulders just limp. But you don't need all that to hold you up because your lower back and your sternum is supporting everything. That's the pole that supports everything. That's the most important thing is the vertebrae sitting up straight. That's called backbone. And then the elbows. Every part of the body is independent. The head is independent. The upper arms are independent. The lower arms are independent. The hands are independent. All the fingers, all the digits on your fingers are independent.

[32:34]

And they're all lined up voluntarily. In other words, no one is attached to any of the other ones except through these threads called ligaments and muscles. But they're all just independent. And we have to let them be independent. But at the same time, they're cooperating. It's not one piece of iron. All these independent parts of the body are cooperating to do this one act. That's amazing. And so in order for them to do that, they have to have space to breathe. And they have to feel they're comfortable doing this because each one relates to all the others. My finger relates to my back, relates to my legs, relates to my head. This is called interdependence.

[33:41]

If you want to study interdependence, this is the way to do it. So we have plenty to think about in Zazen, plenty to work with. And you go over the points of your body, points of posture, over and over because they're always changing. They're always changing. And then when we do that, the body becomes more and more supple. So suppleness is the name of the game. ease, suppleness, flexibility, but upright and still. So this upright, this flexibility, suppleness, independence of all the parts, they're doing this because they want to do it.

[34:43]

We're not forcing them to do it. Don't force anything in your body. They're all enjoying it. All the parts are cooperating with each other and enjoying it. Enjoying this interdependence. And then just allowing breath to breathe. When our breath starts coming up to our chest and we kind of don't know, it becomes rough or tight, allow the breath to come down. You can prime your breath spot by down here at Nyuhara.

[35:46]

This is where the breath breathing should be. Inhaling, it expands. Exhaling, it contracts. And if you don't know how to do that, you can take a big breath through your mouth. They don't tell you this, but you can do this. You can go silently. I'm doing it. I'm making a little sound in order to emphasize what I'm talking about. This should be like a big tire around your waist. You just expand. And then exhale. And feel your... Do that three times. Or four. No more. And then...

[36:52]

Just breathe naturally through your nose. But it'll be down here. You're just primed to pump. You should never stray from breathing here. So these are the thoughts that you can think purposely in Zazhen. Let go of thinking. Well, okay. Go ahead. You have to think something positive. When you think something positive, you're giving your mind something to do instead of just wandering around looking for something. When we're not paying attention in that way, our mind's just wandering around. And you're kind of dead. So come to life. Pay attention. Make sure that you have to keep reasserting your posture.

[37:52]

and making it work harmoniously. And paying attention to the breath. Sometimes the breath just disappears. That's okay as long as it's deep. You don't have to try and control it. But your attention should always keep constantly on aspects of posture. And when you sit with your sternum up, you're stretching so that there's effort. Good effort. And good effort is what opens you up. So that's the active side and the passive side. The passive side is you just let everything happen without judgment. The active side is that you assert yourself to sit. So you could just, you know, if you want to sit on the couch, you know, get a bunch of pillows and feel comfortable, you can do that, but that's not what this is.

[38:56]

So the reason we have this posture is because it's the best one to do this. If you're sitting in a chair, you can also do this. You should be doing this sitting in a chair. So there's a way of sitting in a chair, which is the same thing. Don't say, I'm sitting in a chair, so that's not as good. No. We don't compare ourselves to anybody else. The person sitting next to you sits in full lotus and he's doing, he looks great, you know, and I'm just kind of struggling along. He's him, I'm me. Just like, we're all equal. No matter what we're doing, we're all different. That's the wisdom of differentiation. And we're all equal. So we're beyond comparison. That's the only way we can relate to each other in reality, is that no matter how angry you get at somebody or what the problems are, we're all equal.

[40:04]

So we have to treat each other equally and realize that even though we have differences that seem to separate us. Those differences separate us, but We're all attached to each other and we're all equal with each other. There's no lower and no higher. Even though there's higher and lower, we're all the same. So sitting in a chair is equal to sitting on the cushion if you have to do that. But if you don't have to do that, then it's better to sit on the cushion. because you can do it. But sitting in the chair, it's hard to say how you should do that because everyone has different problems. So it's hard to say.

[41:07]

But you have to find a way to do that. This is the right kind of effort. The other thing is how you open up. The key to opening up is to lift up your sternum and push your lower back forward. You can do this in a chair as well, as long as you have a pliable back.

[42:11]

Sometimes people's backs are a problem, and so you have to sit in a chair and lean against the back. but it's possible to sit in the chair and sit up straight. But this is what keeps you open. As soon as your chest falls in, then you're losing your freedom. And also, as soon as your back starts to curve outward, you lose your strength. So, lifting up is openness, and it helps your breathing to fall down, to come down to your lower abdomen. You know, I usually, when somebody is new to sitting, I'll say to count the breaths.

[43:14]

Count from one to ten. And you count on the exhale. Because the exhale is letting go. One. And then it's longer. The inhaling is shorter. So exhaling is letting go. Inhaling is coming back. Exhaling is letting go. Inhaling is coming back. So alternate between... letting go and taking up. Alternate between passivity and activity. But when passivity and activity are one action, that's integration. And so we can study birth and death by following our breath.

[44:18]

Exhaling is letting go. Inhaling is coming back. It's a cycle of birth and death. We don't know about reincarnation. Rebirth is a little different than reincarnation, but a different way of thinking. But birth and death alternate with each other. And that's called life. The alternation of birth and death is called life. So we study life as the alternation of birth and death. And then we have some, not idea, but some insight. So within our effort is where we find our ease.

[45:48]

And within our ease, we have effort. If there's too much effort, then we get tired and strained And if there's too much ease, things fall apart and we get tired. So always looking for that balance. When we have the proper structure of lifting up the sternum and pushing in our lower back, then we have a structure and we can just let go. Everything else just let go. And everything comes out of balance. It's just balancing all these parts in a harmonious way.

[46:53]

So balance is the main thing. Effort and balance and ease. Those are the three aspects. And even though there's pain, painful, if we don't call it anything and simply experience it as sensation and open up to it, we can accept it for what it is instead of as a fantasy called ouch. not liking, not disliking. It's all equal.

[47:57]

This is the wisdom of equality. It's all equal. As soon as we try to escape, then it's called suffering. But if we're just one moment at a time, one breath at a time, we're living one momentous breath at a time. This is not wasting time.

[49:03]

totally experiencing without discriminating. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving.

[49:43]

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