This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. So it's... 12th month, 12th day, 12th year. In a little while we'll be having lunch at the 12th hour, 12th minute. It's a good day to wake up. I guess the question is,

[01:00]

Who's sitting under your Bodhi tree? You have some picture in your mind maybe of some Buddha sitting under the Bodhi tree. Well, what about your Bodhi tree? And who's sitting? Who's sitting under it? Or who's sitting with it? yeah, someone was wondering if you have to sit cross-legged. So I thought, and then I had a picture of it, a chair under the Bodhi tree. And a young person, you know, Buddha, Shakyamuni was not that old.

[02:02]

maybe 35, according to the stories, right? When he was about 29, he realized that he wasn't going to have his questions about birth and death and about the suffering of human beings resolved by continuing his comfortable life. And so he did that. big shift, you know, leaving his comfortable life where everything was kind of calmed down, civilized. And there was probably food and storage. And so, but he was actually

[03:03]

confusing to him he wasn't able to stay focused on the matter that was really deeply in his heart and so leaving that spending a few years checking out various yogic practices and philosophies of the time and understanding that it actually came down to him So this matter of stopping, this matter of stillness, which is not squirming, not squirming away, not wiggling, not flinching, not turning away from seeing what is as it is.

[04:06]

This can actually be done in any posture. Stillness can be in any posture. And Dogen, you know, in the Fukansa Zengi, he, of course, gives some detailed, somewhat detailed instruction for sitting. And at the same time, he says it's not a matter of sitting or standing or lying down. a particular posture. The essence of this is to notice that the thinking mind is always going to be taking you away from this present moment. The thinking mind is a wonderful thing, wonderful capacity. I think it's our brains and bodies and our whole nervous system just producing thoughts and some of them in the form of words and some of them in other forms like pictures or just a sense of a body response.

[05:27]

But all that is quite natural and at the same time it's not the place to wake up. The place to wake up is to come to what we say, sometimes we say stillness. So stillness is not a matter of kind of being in some rigid fixed position. Stillness is a matter of not chasing desires. Even a tiny one. Even a tiny desire. Get a little more comfortable if I do this or that. Of course, it's important to take care of this body, as we just chanted, this body, the fruit of many, many lifetimes.

[06:30]

And taking care of this body... is something that becomes clearer and clearer, I think, how to take care of this body. When you don't turn away from the sensations of the body, it becomes clearer how to take care of it. And then it's up to you to actually follow through. So I'm not talking about denying the taking care of the body. but moment by moment, to be willing to be present with what is showing up. And so this fundamental practice that we're honoring this week, Rohatsu Sesheen, honoring Bodhi, the Bodhi mind, the mind of Buddha awakening, and it's this awakening of the Buddha that's kind of set in motion this whole

[07:36]

2500 year experiment that's so we don't it doesn't have a particular destination you know I'm sorry we're not all going to heaven some religions have a particular destination you know we're all going to heaven but But this one is we're all going into the unknown. And that's just the way it is. We actually don't know. We actually don't know. And so this is how to make peace with that. How to make peace with this reality of the next moment is not this moment. And this moment is where one is.

[08:39]

And this moment is where one's life is. And this moment is where one can realize true nature, one's own true nature. So... I was thinking people... I myself have to work with the tendency to have an image of kind of an old Buddha. Someone even older than I am. And Buddha was younger than most of the people in this room at this time that we celebrate. And many people in our lineage. We're quite young. I told the story a couple of days ago of Shinryu Suzuki and 20 or so, 20-year-old Shinryu Suzuki, a student.

[09:48]

I think it took a leap of imagination that he had the confidence in true nature to see his English teacher, 40-year-old, 40-year-old Miss Nona Ransom sitting under the Bodhi tree. And he could actually picture, oh, here's this person who knows nothing about all this and who's making fun of the Buddha figure. And he can actually, or making fun of his own kind of what she called superstitious behavior toward this Buddha image and yet he could imagine this person waking up so it goes I think many many people in this in our lineage

[11:00]

we're able to see the potentiality where most people would overlook the potential. So I invite you to see someone very much like yourself sitting under a bodhi tree. Any kind of tree will do. It doesn't have to be a living tree. It could be this dead piece of wood. It could be what's right next to you. The wall right next to you. And also to visualize every person in this room.

[12:02]

That would be a start, right? Visualize every person in this room as an awake being. Someone who is fearlessly themselves. Fearlessly willing just to be themselves right now. Not anything else and not anything in particular. So, it's a big danger to reify some particular idea of enlightenment or some particular idea of Buddha, some particular idea of the causes and conditions necessary for awakening. When... the causes and conditions are always not far away.

[13:04]

They're always right here. So in Sashin, we have this, say, kind of a particular opportunity where we put ourselves into this place where we limit our activity. And then we notice how busy the mind is. And we notice our desires and we notice our resistance. And we notice our past karma coming up. I was talking about past lives a little bit a couple of days ago. So this matter of our own past lives keeps coming up. And you know, you can't do anything about your past life. So leave it alone. Just let it come up.

[14:07]

Your memory comes up. Or it's in your body. You feel it in your body. And just let it be there. How you feel it in your body. It's your past life showing up right now. And the present moment includes it. Already includes it. So you don't have to go any place to, say, approach it or resolve it. It's already right here. This is... I think Suzuki Roshi is saying Our practice is the original undivided way. So it's to be this confident, this confident in true nature.

[15:11]

Everything that's supporting right now. Which is inconceivable. Vast. So I was talking about drops of water, right? And then So Shogun came over as a physicist. He came over and was describing to me some vast number. And I'm still not sure. I feel like this is incredible. It doesn't really matter much whether we're talking atoms or molecules. Because there's only three atoms and one molecule of water. But did you say 10 to the 23rd power in one kind of average drop of water? Which could be a little bigger than a big drop of water. It doesn't matter that much whether the drop of water is, you know, like this pinhead size or the size of a grape or the size of a cantaloupe.

[16:24]

Is there a word for this? How many quintillions? I don't know. Ten to the 23rd. What? A hundred thousand billion billion. A hundred thousand billion billion molecules in a drop of water. And here we thought there were a lot of grains of sand along the Ganges. it's funny at that time they didn't say as many molecules as there are in the drops of water in the river Ganges now there's a Kalpa for you so this is it's interesting to me as I get older I'm more and more amazed And I take a walk around here and I see all the leaves on the trees and the leaves that are fallen.

[17:33]

And I think, yeah, these trees. This is like the thoughts of trees, right? Trees are thinking leaves. And they think that the thought of each leaf has a bud phase and a growth phase arising into fullness and it's And then it has this generous life where it gives back energy to the source. Our thoughts give back some energy to us. And then these leaves have their time. They fade, change color beautifully sometimes. Sometimes not so beautifully from our point of view. But then fall. Evergreens have a different kind of rhythm than deciduous trees, but still, that's happening.

[18:35]

Trees are thinking leaves. So that's the thought process of trees. They may be having other thoughts too, I don't know. So this is stillness. The growth of trees is stillness. This is not something, again, stillness doesn't mean something fixed or rigid. So to participate in your awake life means to be very flexible. It means to not hold on to any thought. As soon as you hold on to a thought, then you're not as flexible. So thoughts are fine. Thoughts come and go. Holding on to them then is where we get involved with desire.

[19:37]

Holding on to some thought. Believing it. Believing that we know something. Again, it's okay to understand things. We do understand things. We're able to do so much and function. relatively. But when we notice things get a little kind of sticky and then even rigid, it's kind of like glue setting. Kind of like, you know, each thought has this kind of temptation and then our manas, our ego mind, our manas mind wants to wants to hold it. with the idea that this self needs it. The idea that this self... So there's a kind of a fear under there. What happens if I let it go?

[20:38]

What happens? So Dogen is talking about this when he talks about dropping body-mind. This is a complete, complete freedom from desire. not holding body, not holding mind, not for one millisecond, let's say, getting, forming some belief or attachment in that little gluey residue on the thought. And by thought, I mean thoughts, feelings. perceptions, and all of this, you know, that are even, you know, observing formations. So observing our own karma, observing our own mental formations is also fine. You know, observing them is good. Not turning away from them, we need to do.

[21:39]

And seeing them more and more clearly, this is more what's realizing that everything we see is our mirror mind we think we think a mirror would have some limitations but the entire universe that we can conceive whether it's this room right now just looking around visually but hearing the sound of the stream whatever else you're hearing Inside, outside. The whole matter of inside, outside. This is all the mirror mind. Every image, every formation in it is your own yourself. It's really awesome how much each of us can conceive in this mirror mind.

[22:50]

I did print out the poem from the Dungshan. Oh, but I was going to make a couple of announcements. I better do that. Then I'll come back to mirror mind. So today is day four of the session. 12, 12, 12, day 4. And tomorrow, day 5, will be a silent day. Every day is a silent day, but tomorrow we'll be practicing silence. And then day 6, I've asked the Shusoh to give Dharma talk. Thought he was having a little too easy.

[23:55]

But also, so everyone gets to hear the Shusoh's voice during the Sashin. And then that evening, the evening of the 6th, we will have a Jukai ceremony here with three people, including... So Jukai means receiving precepts. And so, including the Shusoh, And myoki. And Kori's finished rakasu. Hooray. So for Kori, it will be what we call a zaike tokudo, lay ordination. Lay bodhisattva ordination. So that's, yeah, day six.

[25:00]

And I also have been thinking about from time to time, you know, it's the time of year. When are we? Usually we think, where are we? But it's also good to think, when are we? And when are we, of course, relates to, I think, in terms of the planet that we're on and where we're at in the solar year, which we're coming to the point in the solar year of the longest nights and the shortest days. And I think of the Hopi and the Kivas. I'm sure there are people, the Hopi, you know, they don't have many clouds. So they can see the sun almost every day. We're right in the New Mexico, Arizona area. And so part of Hopi ritual this time of year is to watch the shadows and the light each day.

[26:10]

And when it comes to knowing that they have to keep praying for the health of the sun. so that the sun regenerates and comes back. Days are getting shorter and [...] it would be a calamity if they just eventually stopped seeing the sun, right? So, in a way, this seems like kind of foolish to think, oh, well, The sun depends upon our prayers. But I see it, I think it's more, I think that's kind of a misunderstanding. I think that they're actually understanding that they're just participating, just fully participating with this whole rhythm. And to be in a tune with it, to be in accord with it means to do certain ceremonies.

[27:18]

And then to recognize that turning point. So it's good sometimes to recognize. And now we know. But it's only been the last few hundred years that we've had, in our culture anyway, had some pretty clear picture of how it works. How the... solar cycle works. It's just kind of a curiosity that we have a little tilt of the earth in relation to the sun. People know this, right? If we're in a plane, if we're orbiting around the sun in a plane, If this were the sun, right?

[28:25]

If this were the sun, and then this is the Earth, and this is kind of exaggerated, right? The pole, right? Over there is the North Star, right? Way, way far away. Because it looks like we're always pointing to the North Star, but actually, you know, if it were very close, we'd be missing it, right? So it has to be very far away. because this tilt is going, you know, around the sun, like this, spinning every day around this way. And so here it's tilted toward the sun, right? Here's our north pole, the northern hemisphere gets longer days, and here, here's the spring equinox, right? Even, the poles are even from the sun. Okay, and here. I know this is not news, right? I hope not, but I've had adult people come up to me before when I've gone through this and tell them, I never understood that before.

[29:36]

So here we are now. We're approaching this point where the north is farthest, tilted away. Not necessarily farthest in distance, but tilted away. So the angle of the sun is low and, you know, there's a day. Light and dark flashing by. Anyway. So here are the Hopi in their kivas. And here we are sitting our Rohatsu Sashin. And it affects us all, you know, having daylight change and, of course, the moon changing as well. I won't go through the moon. Another little thing happening. How did I get under this? It was, I like it.

[30:40]

I like knowing when I am. And it's good for all of us. And gardeners need to know when we are, especially. Farmers, it's critical to know what time it is in the solar year. So we know when to plant the oats and when to prune the roses. And for us to fully participate in being right here, it's good to appreciate. And so we do. We do some of that. We all go up and have work in a circle where there's a little bit of light over here at Tassajara. Because the sun is just kind of grazing the tops of the ridge to the south.

[31:44]

And it never gets so high this time of year. And so it's good to just know, okay, this is who we are. We are living supported by this, how all this works. Well, anyway, we can speculate. All kinds of ways it wouldn't work. All kinds of ways it couldn't work, right? But here it is, and here we are. Yeah, the Hopis are in their kivas. We're here. Dongshan, Dongshan. So Dongshan had this idea of the mirror, right? I'll come back to Dengshan.

[32:46]

I want to read another poem. This is... So who we are also is coming back to who's sitting under the Bodhi tree. And everyone, and we may not know, but when we actually see someone as someone sitting... It doesn't matter. We don't have to have some idea of Bodhi Tree. We just have to meet. So this is a Mary Oliver poem from her book House of Light. It's not a new poem. It's been around quite a while. It's called Singapore. In Singapore, in the airport, a darkness was ripped from my eyes.

[33:47]

In the women's restroom, one compartment stood open. A woman knelt there, washing something in the white bowl. Disgust argued in my stomach. and I felt in my pocket for my ticket. A poem should always have birds in it, kingfishers say, with their bold eyes and gaudy wings. Rivers are pleasant, and of course trees, a waterfall, or if that's not possible, a fountain, rising and falling. A person wants to stand in a happy place in a poem. When the woman turned, I could not answer her face.

[34:51]

Her beauty and her embarrassment struggled together and neither could win. She smiled and I smiled. What kind of nonsense is this? Everybody needs a job. Yes, a person wants to stand in a happy place in a poem. But first we must watch her as she stares down at her labor, which is dull enough. She is washing the tops of the airport ashtrays as big as hubcaps with a blue rag. Her small hands turn the metal, scrubbing and rinsing. She does not work slowly nor quickly like a river.

[35:59]

Her dark hair is like the wing of a bird. I don't doubt for a moment that she loves her life. And I want to rise up from the crust and the slop and fly down to the river. This probably won't happen, but maybe it will. If the world were only pain and logic, who would want it? Of course it isn't. Neither do I mean anything miraculous, but only the light that can shine out of a life. I mean the way she unfolded and refolded the blue cloth. The way her smile was only for my sake. I mean

[37:06]

By the way, this poem is filled with trees and birds. So there is a Bodhi tree. Yeah, just take a moment to let Let that sink in. So we all have these moments and it takes a poet sometimes to remind us of these moments. This is just one glance, right? Fully appreciated and going past her own resistance of that part of the poem where she says disgust disgust argued in my stomach and she and Mary Oliver kind of instinctively reaches in her pocket for her ticket it's like some way out of here right

[38:34]

I really appreciate that she confesses that hesitation that she had that moment. But then seeing the luminous this luminous person and being willing to just have their eyes meet. Including the embarrassment. Not turning away from embarrassment. So this is also the Bodhi awakening.

[39:38]

and it's also what's meant by mirror mind. Meeting like this, the poet knows who she is, who she herself is. Dungshan, our ancestor in this Dharma lineage, well he was you know Dung San also was say in his teens when he decided to take up this practice and then he went to a couple of different teachers and when he was he was leaving Yunyan he'd spent some time with Yunyan and it was with Yunyan that he had this understanding of inanimate beings expounding the Dharma and he spent some time with Yunyan and then as he was leaving he asked Yunyan what teaching should he take with him and there was this pause and Yunyan says just this

[41:13]

Or maybe he says, just this person. But just this person is also the word that's used, was used in China at the time to say, I'm guilty. Just this person of Han. in a court, you know, a Confucian court. So it's interesting. What is this to say? Just this. All of this karma, right? All of this whatever it is right here is fully acknowledged in just this. So then Dengshan continues on his pilgrimage. And the story is that he's crossing some water and he sees his image reflected.

[42:24]

And at that point, he understands mirror mind in a way that he hadn't been so completely clear about it before. And so then he says this verse. This is Tom Cleary's translation. Just don't seek from another, or you'll be far estranged from self. I now go on alone, meeting it everywhere. It now is just what I am. I now am not it. You must comprehend in this way to merge with thusness. So this is this interplay. I go on. I now go on alone meeting it everywhere.

[43:30]

Meeting it everywhere and meeting it in everything. Meeting what? Meeting it is just what I am. I now am not it. It now is just what I am. I now am not it. So both sides. So this is understanding how one is completely, fully interwoven. That one's own being is completely, fully interwoven. that what one perceives as being even some distance away is right here. The Orion. Orion.

[44:31]

I was doing the morning Jundo, you know, and I looked up and I had the thought, oh, there's Orion setting in the West, right? And I thought, what am I thinking? There's no Orion. There's no West. Thank you, kitchen. There is kitchen. But it also is just being, you know, located here. When? To say, oh, you know, Polaris is over there and Orion's. When we've been going to bed in the evening, Orion's up there and in the morning it's over there these days.

[45:38]

It's that time of year. But yeah. But this is a little bit, say, comforting to me to say Orion. And it's also important for me to not say Orion. To remind myself, oh, Orion. There's no Orion. This is just something that we've been taught to pick out from billions of tiny specks of light. Maybe some millions that we can actually see unaided with our naked eyes here in the mountains. But it reminds me that this universe is inconceivably vast.

[46:50]

And I don't really know what infinite means. But I know that what is being offered to me is infinite. In both the macrocosm, the vast cosmos, and also in the microcosm, which is so much happening in one drop of water and one tear. So we need, I think, we need reference points as human beings. But I also feel like it's good for us to kind of stumble around with our mouths open sometimes. it's way beyond comprehension you know so we have this so it now now form an image behold each other form an image behold each other so later this was put into the

[48:16]

Song of the Jewel Mirror Awareness that we chant frequently. So knowing that this whole universe is exactly the way it is from this point of view. It's the only universe like this. Staggering, right? And then... And it's possible. Also, its existence is possible. Also because there is self-awareness. So without... So one moment there's this, say, complete merging subject and object. Another moment...

[49:18]

There is, what can we say? Same moment. There is a moment of recognition that this whole universe exists because there's a point of view. And then to know with some humility that this point of view is only this point of view. And there are infinite points of view. So the next thing that happens, which may slap us in the face or just be another thought or some feeling or some sensation, the next thing that happens is reminding us there are other points of view. And we are also those other points of view. I am also those other... Because this next thing that happens is reminding me that this point of view is completely...

[50:21]

mutually interdependent with every other point of view. And this is the Buddha's Great Awakening. The Buddha's really fantastic understanding of dependent origination, which completely blows linear causation off the map, you know. And, of course, it's still on the map, you know. So this is this vast, vast mind. That is something that we all have. We all fully participate in. So for the Buddha and Zen people say the Buddha's awakening meant everyone has Buddha nature. Everyone participates in this awakening. We are

[51:23]

this one Bodhi mind. I am, you are, each, under each Bodhi tree, countless Bodhi trees, one Bodhi mind. So you can't then rule anything out. And it's kind of silly to cast blame, right? To blame some other part of the mirror. To blame the image in the mirror that I've created. So it is... kind of sobering to realize how we waste our precious time.

[52:32]

Getting involved in comparative mind and believing it. Having thoughts that are criticizing some image in the mirror. Or thinking that image in the mirror is why I'm uncomfortable. But that image in the mirror and my discomfort are one. And my discomfort is who I am. So this is a practice of moment by moment fully appreciating this, fully appreciating everything that arises. Noticing when we get kind of crimp down into our petty thoughts. And holding their petty thoughts more lightly, I say, I've been saying this lately, holding your small mind more lightly.

[53:41]

There isn't any perfect way to say what this practice is. You just sit. and stew in your own juices and discover. Oh, this is it. Just what Jungian said. This, just this. And this is returning to stillness. Unconstructed. Letting go of all of our fabrications. Letting go of our desires. Letting go of our fears. which doesn't mean they go away. It's not pushing them away. It's just letting them dissolve. So let the energy of your own breath, body, flow through all of your, say, structures in your cells of your body.

[54:51]

Just let it flow through. This is the practice of great awakening. Everyone can do it. So please don't waste time in the session. Don't stray from just this. Thank you for listening. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving.

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