This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. I was just thinking when I go for Dokusan to meet with my teacher, there's always this initial... time that we both allow for uh for me i think primarily to settle and in some ways those are kind of very precious moments i was reflecting as i sat here just a moment ago allowing the body to settle allowing the breath to settle letting my heart rate slow down a little bit and uh Interestingly, when all of that happens, there's a kind of feeling of relaxation in my thinking process, too.

[01:12]

And I began to feel like I'm moving more at a pace that I am now calling to myself body time. I like to visit body time as much as I can. So this will be somewhat the subject of what I'm going to say today. I would like to start with a story. This is a story from the Zen tradition involving, as most of these stories do, A teacher and a student. This was an offering to me from my teacher when I asked him a question. And it's all about a student asking his teacher for a question and the teacher's response.

[02:24]

Yangshan asked Guishan, what is the true abode Guishan said, think of the unfathomable mystery and return to the inexhaustible, numinous light. When thoughts are exhausted, you've arrived at the source, where true nature is revealed as eternally abiding. In that place, there is no difference between affairs and principle, and the true Buddha is manifested.

[03:26]

Upon hearing these words, Yangshan experienced great enlightenment. I like this question. I think it's a great question. What is the true abode of Buddha? What is Buddha's? true home. And it brings me back to a journey I made a few years ago to India. I went on pilgrimage and I visited the various places that it is said that the Buddha lived and taught. Of course, we don't really know. But there's a long tradition of these places having been the place that Buddha Shakyamuni lived and taught. And I went to a place that in Buddha's time was called Shravasti.

[04:39]

It was a great city. And nearby was a grove called the Jetta Grove. And this grove was a gift to the Buddha and his disciples, so they would have a place to go during the rainy season. We call it the rainy season, but actually it's kind of like monsoon season. And so, although the Buddha and his disciples did quite a bit of walking around northern India teaching, offering teachings, during this monsoon season, they were not able to do that and needed to take shelter. So this grove called the Jetta Grove was given by Prince Jetta, and it has a whole story, but... Basically, a very wealthy supporter of the Buddha, Anattapindaka, bought the land from him, and then he offered it to the Buddha. And it's said that the Buddha spent the last 25 years of his life there during the rainy season.

[05:46]

He had a number of other groves and monastic establishments, but that seemed to have been the place he favored in the last 25 years of his life. And when I went there, I saw that, well, the city of Srivasti is basically still underground, has not been excavated. And this Jetta Grove is a fairly recent excavation. And there's a lot of foundation, rock foundation, stone foundation, to quite a vast monastery. So for a thousand years, it's said from Buddhist time onward, a great of monks and nuns lived there in monasteries. And what shows up now is basically the stone foundations and a little bit of the walls. And supposedly there's probably another whole layer underneath. What I was really surprised to find out was that there's a small ruin left of the Buddha's home.

[06:56]

place he lived during the rainy season. They call it the Mulagandha Kuti, which means the Fragrant Hut. And it's a small, about two-room, was a structure with a little walkway on the side. And it was called the Fragrant Hut because when the Buddha was not there, people from Shavasti would come and leave incense and flowers in offerings to him. And I had no idea that Buddha lived in a house. I just always thought of him being under a tree somewhere. And even though who knows if his feet actually touched these stones, I and everybody else, I have to say, on the pilgrimage were quite moved to be in the presence of this place where he may have slept and eaten and met with his followers. So I was thinking of this abode when this question came up.

[08:04]

What is the true abode of Buddha? I also feel a sense that Yang Shan was speaking that, or asking that, from his devotion to Shakyamuni. He lived in China, His dates are 807 to 883, common era, so it's about a little more than a thousand years after the Buddha lived, and he lived quite far away from India, in China. And I have heard of other Chinese monks who traveled to India who wept because they didn't live at the right time to meet Shakyamuni. And I felt like maybe Yangshan might be such a person who felt this sadness... not to be able to meet Shakyamuni. And thus arises a question, what is the true home of Buddha?

[09:04]

What is the home of Buddha that can be realized in the ninth century by a monk in China? How can he touch that place? And therefore, how can we all? I see this as a question arising from a kind of deep longing in the heart, as many questions do. And what does Yongshan's teacher say is the true abode of Buddha? He says, and I'll quote it again because I think it's very beautiful, think of the unfathomable mystery and return to the inexhaustible, numinous light. So I kind of had a vague idea of what numinous meant, but I looked it up, and it is a word that comes from the Latin numen, which means the power, presence, or realization of the transcendent, or you could say the divine.

[10:25]

So, What is the unfathomable mystery? And what is the inexhaustible nyinmanis light? I'll let those questions sit for a moment. When thoughts are exhausted, Guishan goes on, you've arrived at the source where true nature is revealed as eternally abiding. In that place, there is no difference between affairs and principle. So these words, affairs and principle, are used a lot in Chinese Buddhism, it seems. And they refer to, other words for that are the conventional and the ultimate, samsara and nirvana. And samsara is, this is the place where human beings dwell. the land of suffering.

[11:30]

And nirvana is the cessation of suffering. So think of the unfathomable mystery and return to the inexhaustible numinous light. When thoughts are exhausted, you've arrived at the source where true nature is revealed as eternally abiding in that place. There is no difference between affairs in principle. And the true Buddha is manifested. So who's the true Buddha? Another question. Upon hearing these words, Yangshan experienced great enlightenment. How about us? For the last seven weeks, a group of, I think, about 43 people have been engaged in an intensive period of Zen practice here at Green Dragon Temple, including daily Zazen, morning, afternoon, and evening, work, study, Dharma classes, talks, and the encouragement

[13:00]

to receive and fully embrace this opportunity to study the self, as our Japanese ancestor, Ehe Dogenzenji Dayosho, has encouraged us to do. The culmination of this practice period, as we call it, will begin this evening. And... The practice period will be joined by some guests, about 16 guests, and by most of the community, the residential community here at Green Gulch. So this zendo is going to be quite full. And we will sit zazen beginning at 5 a.m. every morning and ending at 9 p.m. every evening. We will eat all our meals here in a ceremony called oryoki. And we will practice silence and stillness throughout this next week.

[14:12]

This period of intense practice of the ceremony of zazen is called sesshin. Sesshin is a Japanese word, and it means touching heart-mind. Not touching heart and mind. The word shin actually includes heart and mind together. So there's not a sense of differentiation in the word. Here at Green Gulch, we sit four sashins a year, but this sashin is very special to us. It is called Rohatsu Sashin, and it is a session in which we, in particular, honor and celebrate the enlightenment of Shakyamuni Buddha. And we celebrate that enlightenment day on December 8th. It's part of our tradition. Other traditions celebrated on different days.

[15:15]

But we celebrate it on December 8th. So sometime during the session, probably towards the end, we will have a joyful ceremony to celebrate this great, event and it can be done different ways but very often there's a procession with a taiko drum and we chant and we scatter fresh winter greens all around the zendo and we make this big joyful ceremonial mess and people are very happy but for the days preceding this celebration we will sit facing the wall in stillness and silence in the dark. When I first started to practice Zen and Sat Sashin, I sat quite a few at first, and I was employed as a yoga teacher, and I would use my vacation time to come and sit Sashin.

[16:28]

And my students, Some of them would say, why are you doing that on your vacation? It seemed kind of strange to them, understandably. Why would you come and sit in a zendo facing a wall day and night on your vacation? Why don't you go to Hawaii or someplace warm and bright? And it's a perfectly good question and hard to explain. But zazen itself is utterly beyond words. How do you explain zazen in words? It's an unfathomable mystery. And we are an unfathomable mystery, each one of us. We are unfathomable mysteries and, amazingly,

[17:30]

Many of us have a great deal of difficulty finding time to take up the study of this mystery. I live at a Zen center, and I have a hard time getting into this room to take up this study, and that's what I came for. So I understand it's difficult in our busy lives. to do this. We do spend our time studying many things that are worth studying, but imagine to live one's entire life and never have taken up this study of the amazing, unfathomable mystery of who we are. So... Sashin is an opportunity that affords the time and the space to touch the heart-mind, to take up this study, and possibly find the true abode of Buddha, possibly find our way home,

[19:00]

When we sit, we give up occupying ourselves with activity and are just like this. This living organism we call a body-mind. I think of body and mind kind of like the word shin. One can make this distinction, but I don't think there is really one. And... At each moment in zazen, we can actually touch this body-mind intimately. When we come to sit, we receive instruction. Some of you may have come this morning and received zazen instruction. Probably most of you have at some point received zazen instruction. So some of the things we're told to do, we're instructed to sit with the intention of being upright.

[20:06]

And as we try to do that, we touch the body-mind that is trying to be upright. We are instructed to return to the breath when carried away by streams of thought. And when we locate the breath, it's with that same mind that was just engaged in the time and space travel a moment before. We're encouraged to watch each thing that arises. And when we do, we can see that what actually arises in each moment is awareness and the sense that there's a self here being aware. and an object to be aware of.

[21:09]

And then we hear the teaching that the self is actually just a moment-by-moment construction. So we can let go of our idea of self in that moment and then watch it come up again the very next moment. Eventually, practicing this way again and again, moment by moment, we can come to rest. So what does that mean? What kind of rest is this? What am I talking about? Rest. I decided to look it up in the dictionary, common practice, and I was really surprised at how many definitions there are of rest. what an important word it is in our language, and how well it applies to different aspects of my experience of zazen.

[22:16]

So I wanted to share some of these definitions with you today. And please receive this in the spirit of your own meditation practice. See how it reflects for you. So the first definition, cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, and or recover strength. As in, he needed to rest after feverish activity. Or, I'm going to rest before traveling to England. Allow to be inactive in order to regain strength. We just have that one. Health or energy. Her friend read to her while she rested her eyes. Leave a player out of the team temporarily. I like that one. Get to step off the team for a while and sit on the bench.

[23:21]

The example, both men were rested for the final game. Of a dead person or body, the king's body rested in his tomb. This reminds me of a yoga practice called Shavasana, which is a relaxation practice. Shava means corpse, so it's called corpse pose. Of a problem or subject to be left without further investigation, discussion, or treatment, the council has urged the planning committee to allow the matter to rest. We can actually come and let our matters rest for a while. Allow land to lie fallow. The field should be rested. More. Conclude the case for the prosecution or defense.

[24:28]

In a law case, the prosecution rests. The defense rests. Isn't that great? be placed or supported so as to stay in a specific position. Her elbow was resting on the arm of the sofa. To place something so that it is supported in a specified position, it's similar, but I like the example. He rested a hand on her shoulder. alight or steadily direct the gaze upon something. His eyes rested briefly on the bird. Be based on or grounded in. Depend on.

[25:31]

The country's security rested on its alliances. Rest something in or on as in place hope, trust, or confidence in. She rested her hopes in her attorney. Belong or be located at a specified place or with a specified person, as in ultimate control rested with the founders. An instance or period of relaxing... or ceasing to engage in strenuous or stressful activity. You look as though you need a rest. A motionless state. The car accelerates rapidly from rest. In music, an interval of silence, of specified duration.

[26:33]

And in music, there's actually... a sign for rest. So I imagine our zazen is a big fat whole rest with that sign out instead of zendo. A pause in speech or verse and an object that's used to support something, a chin rest, a shoulder rest, a telephone rest. Some sentiments for rest are break, repose, time off, peace, quiet, silence, stillness, tranquility, cradle, support. This takes me back again to Guaishan. When thoughts are exhausted, and exhaustion is a state of being completely drained, completely emptied, you arrive at the source where true nature is revealed

[27:36]

as eternally abiding, where everything is at rest, where everything is in balance, where everything is still and stable, eternally abiding. And then what? There is no difference between samsara and nirvana, and the true Buddha is manifested right here in this very body-mind. So close, not a thousand miles away or a thousand years ago. Right here, right now, in your home. Sashin is a great opportunity, I think, to find our way home. But it's not necessary to go somewhere to realize where we are. does require a moment of pause and a returning to the light of awareness.

[28:47]

I hope those of you here who are not joining us in this room for Sushin this week will still join us at a moment here and there where you take a pause, where you remember that you are an unfathomable mystery and return to the light of your own awareness. I hope so. However, saying that, I recently journeyed to Indiana to Sitsushin because I felt like I needed to put some space between my work life and me. And... When I arrived there, my very kind host, I was talking to her the first evening, and it was feeling odd to me. I've always lived in California with some journeys to the East Coast, and I've never kind of been away from having a big body of water very close to my body.

[29:53]

And I mentioned that to her, and she said, this is the heartland. And then I felt at home. I thought, what a great place to come and sit. I'm sitting in the heartland. And so I was happy to have made the journey. And out of that, I wrote a little something which I'd like to share with you. After I wrote it, I particularly wanted to share it because it made me think of the practice period and anyone who was on a spiritual journey. So... I call this Sitting in the Heartland, and I dedicate it to the practice period and with gratitude to my host, Charlotte Hess. I came to Indiana to sit. I came to let go of a constructed life. I came to locate stillness as a way to be.

[31:00]

I came to uncover a person who revels in silence. I came to find a life simple and without artifice. I came to discover a path forward and meet companions. I came to study the self that I imagine myself to be. I came to hear the Dharma words of our great ancestor teacher, Dogen Zenji Dayosho. I came... deeply tired and feeling lost. I came in spite of fear of what was not yet known. I came with faith in something I could not express. I came just as I was, no choice there. I came to meet this heart while sitting in the heartland. And I would like to conclude with a poem that's probably pretty familiar to this group of people.

[32:13]

I have heard it read in this zendo before. And I love this poet. So this will be the conclusion. And if you want to talk some, there'll be a Q&A period. And I would welcome you to come and let's have a conversation. Keeping Quiet by Pablo Neruda. Now we will count to 12 and we will all keep still. For once on the face of the earth, let's not speak in any language. Let's stop for one second and not move our arms so much. It would be an exotic moment, without rush, without engines. We would all be together in a sudden strangeness.

[33:18]

Fishermen in the cold sea would not harm whales, and the man gathering salt would look at his hurt hands. Those who prepare green moors, wars with gas, wars with fire, victories with no survivors, would put on clean clothes and walk about with their brothers and sisters, in the shade, doing nothing. What I want should not be confused with total inactivity. Life is what it's about. I want no truck with death. If we were not so single-minded about keeping our lives moving, and for once could do nothing. Perhaps a huge silence might interrupt this sadness of never understanding ourselves and of threatening ourselves with death.

[34:21]

Perhaps the earth can teach us as when everything seems dead and later proves to be alive. Now, I'll count up to 12, and you keep quiet, and I will go. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our programs are made possible by the donations we receive. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[35:13]

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