I think the main problem that most of us have in practicing Zen Buddhism is the accumulation of many ideas from our culture about ourselves. And there doesn't seem to be any easy way to get rid of them. On so many levels, they're taken completely for granted. We don't even imagine

[01:02]

they're changeable. I think if we can get, say, 100 people who have each have begun to drop some aspect of these ideas. By that example we may be able to see through them. the professionalization of our society, in which if you take care of yourself, it's suspicious, you should have some expert opinion, is

[02:41]

much of the difficulty. The word Buddha means, usually we say it means to be awake or aware, but it also means to know, and to know in the fundamental way of our own Western word, to know, to directly perceive with your senses. It doesn't mean accumulated or stored information or knowledge in your memory. It means directly to perceive. I want to talk a little bit about the word or idea of silence as a practice. And I don't mean silence in which you don't say anything, but the silence in which you don't need to say anything or don't need to do anything. Often we think of Zen practice

[04:16]

as not thinking or some emptiness. And it's true, the realization that you can stop thinking, you can actually just do it, is very important. And then you find out how you can see things very directly. But the idea of silence is a little different, and it's closer to acceptance. And acceptance, you know, doesn't mean just it's okay with you, you accept that it's such and so, but it has more active sense of that you accept it as a gift, you accept it as it coming to you. And silence has this feeling too, that you don't say anything,

[05:44]

you know, when you have something to say. You may say something because people need you to say something. They feel uneasy, or they're getting ready to feel uneasy, or you know if you don't say something later on they'll feel uneasy, so you may say something. But this silence I'm speaking of, also has the meaning that if you're awake, you're already full. So if something's pointed out, it narrows your perception, it slices up your perception. Now, one kind of way to approach this, which

[06:45]

is helpful, it gives you a topic, you know, something to do, is what I would call, I'm calling, companion breathing. And what I mean is, first of all, to treat your own breathing as your companion. Someone, some friendly accomplice, And as we find, to some degree we may be afraid of our breathing, which is amazing that we can live all these years and be afraid of our breathing. So if you see that, obviously, one of the first things to do is to become familiar with your breathing, intimate with your breathing. So your breathing is your companion. And you don't need to

[08:07]

to say something or do something, you always have your accompaniment of your breathing. And this awareness or familiarity with our breathing is again close to the same as, I'd say, the awareness or knowing of Buddha. the meaning of knowing in the sense of Buddha, to be aware of, means to be familiar with, clear, direct familiarity, without preparedness. Most of us think we have to prepare. It's really odd, you know. When you go into a room

[09:30]

95% of what happens is you coming into the room, not what you say or do. And yet, the remaining 5% is what you say, and 2.5% of that, maybe, is going to happen anyway. So the amount you can foul up is quite teeny, you know. But you perceive it as The whole thing depends on what I say. So you think you have to prepare and etc. Well, the knowledge of Buddha is not prepared knowledge. You're already prepared. You're already I should say, just you should be all ready. Ready to empty some space for someone or ready, if there's no one to fill it, ready to fill it. That's all. So companion breathing is

[11:11]

You know, first to treat your own breathing as your companion and find your companion when you're working or walking or going to sleep or waking up. When you first wake up, you can ask, how is my companion? And you find out your companion is there, breathing away. You don't have to read some book or do some esoteric ceremony. You are an esoteric ceremony. Just going to bed is an esoteric ceremony. You still are, many of you, looking for some confirmation, like a great white light experience. As if everything is dark around you and nothing made any sense until you had some big experience inside yourself.

[12:15]

And it's already quite a lot of light about, and wonderful golden fall leaves. But somehow you think it has to be inside you, or some accumulated, possessible thing. It just isn't so. Just the wrong way to look about. Look at it, wrong way to go about it. Next is your companion breathing, you know, in this idea I'm talking about, is you view another person, not as their mind or name, or what they might say or do, but just as breathing. So when you're walking with someone, you're walking with their breathing. Your breathing is walking with their breathing. When you're talking to someone, your breathing is talking to their breathing. And it requires some friendliness, some affectionate feeling.

[13:32]

in school, if you are a student in school, if you relate, if you just in the classroom relate to your teacher's breathing, you'll find out after a while, you can almost say what the teacher expects all the time, because our mind arises from our breathing. If you relate to the teacher's mind, or what you know, or if you're prepared, You can't do so well, you know, unless you happen to have that kind of preparation that allows you to force it anyway. But at the same time, it's very sensitive. If your attitude is, get with my teacher's breathing to get good grades, it doesn't work. It has to... There's some friendly, relaxed space is necessary, some non-threatening space. This is also very close to the sense of sangha, which I was talking about before I left.

[14:57]

So if you're practicing the kind of silence I'm talking about, you're walking with someone's breathing, and there's no need to say anything to slice up their time. Now, again, I don't want all of you to walk around like dummies. Sometimes we say something. But we should be aware of, you know, if you feel like saying something, say something. Don't force yourself to be silent, but see how it comes out from your uneasiness.

[16:07]

or from the other person's uneasiness, or from your affection or attention. This silence, again, is another word or very close to mindfulness In mindfulness we can express again, I'm emphasizing the fullness or active side of all this. Mindfulness also can mean, means in its actualization, everyone's time is your own time. So you don't feel. I have to go talk to someone. I wish I had time for myself. I wish I had time to do such and such. Everyone takes my time. If you're mindful, no one can take your time. All your time is yours, you know, whether you're washing dishes or talking to someone, it's your time.

[17:28]

The word busy implies we don't have any time. But if you're mindful, no matter how each fraction of a moment may be filled with something, it's your time. You don't feel busy. It doesn't really occur to you. I don't have time for what? For myself? You always have time for yourself. Every moment is your time. I don't mean by that that you will never be alone again. But you don't make that kind of division. Everything exists in your realization this way. So silence, when you're silent like this,

[18:47]

when you don't need to do something, don't need to say something. And we are so used to having to say something or do something to give ourselves some experience, that if you don't have something to do, you feel empty, you feel lonely, or at a loss, or at your wit's end, or various feelings we have. But if you don't say anything for a while, from the sense of not needing to say something, you'll find out how full you are. In fact, there'll be some building up, mentally, physically, sexually, you'll find some building up of fullness.

[19:51]

which then this practice of silence means you learn to swim in. It's almost as if you're drowning. You breathe in the water, you give up and just breathe in the water, and you find you can breathe, like a fish. So you stop trying to let loose get rid of this fullness by doing something. You don't need to get rid of the fullness by doing something anymore. And this is actually another kind of doing, a very subtle kind of doing. For if you're not looking for some topic or project to express yourself on, You will express yourself, but it'll be in your looking and breathing and posture. It will come out from you in many, many ways. So to know also means to proclaim, to announce, and this awareness

[21:16]

As I'm speaking about it, from the point of view of silence also means to proclaim, to announce something, to announce your awareness, your practice, your existence. So it's truly so, then, if just coming into the room is, you know, a hundred percent. Or we say, one Zen saying is, The entire world of unfathomable directions is not a pinpoint away. This not a pinpoint away isn't by some doing or expression or saying. It arises in you by your experience of the practice of silence. And in Christian religious practice, silence also means to obey or to listen. And this also has the sense of doing in it, of accepting and doing.

[22:33]

So you get rid of the idea you always have to be prepared or accumulate knowledge or express something, and you begin to be strong enough and clear enough just to allow this accepting or accumulating or fullness to be on your breathing, on your stomach, It's like a treasure, which most people won't recognize because they only see doing and hearing or saying. And it's the way we finally come completely to rest. To know directly, intimately, familiarly, everything. On each occasion,

[24:35]

And Suzuki Roshi said, you know something. And you don't accumulate that, so you have it for the next moment. You're completely at mercy, at a loss. in the midst of each situation, but directly you know it. By your own fullness meeting everything's fullness. And you can't start this practice until it dawns on you you don't have to always do something. You don't have to always say something. You don't have to have some plan for the future. You don't have to know what you're going to do ever again from this moment on.

[25:53]

somehow we feel compelled to be able to answer the question, what are you going to do, what are you going to be, or what are you, or what have you done? But those questions or answers to those questions don't exist in the realm in which we really exist or live. So your thoughts begin to be without direction or sphere. It's not a question now I'm speaking of, of no thoughts, but thoughts without direction or sphere.

[27:00]

This is a direct, intuitive, unprepared familiarity or knowing. And the same, you know, knowing is the same word as notice and the same word as noble and knowable. A noble person is one literally who is knowable, knowable in this accessible, direct sense, that your fullness is accessible. But strangely, this fullness is accessible through silence. This silence of not needing to do, not needing to say, is fundamental practice. And to apprehend or perceive others through this silence, by this silence, It's a secret way we find our path. And what you say should always be coated with this silence, should come out from this silence, should always be returning to this silence. Religion, the word religion in Western language means

[28:36]

to bind or relate to the absolute or to God. But shugyo, shukyo, in Japanese means, which is sometimes translated as religion, means to return to the truth. So your responses or questions or answers should come out of this silence and should always carry the feeling of knowing the other person comes out of this silence. So 50% of any conversation should be Okay, return to the silence. It's all right to return to the silence, or how grateful I am to you for just for a moment you're coming out from the silence.

[29:46]

Dogen calls this practice and this Sangha, imperceptible mutual assistance. You can't know it. It's imperceptible mutual assistance. Our fullness, each of our fullness is there. And your own fullness will require some strength before you can allow it. It's quite terrifying at first. You don't think you can exist without some expression or doing or saying. But finding expression, always some temporary kindness,

[31:52]

You exist and you know we all exist. Everything exists in this silence. Our path is very subtle. Giving up we find we attain. Not doing we find we do. Not saying we find we speak audibly to everyone. It has been acknowledged in every civilization, but we are so easily fooled and so want to believe, so want reality proved to us, that we reinforce our being fooled.

[33:41]

Huh.

[34:43]

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