I love to chase the truth and love to turn it to its worst. Good evening everybody. Good evening. I'm going to take the roll. Kirsten? Olga? Marty? This way I can also, those of you whose names I don't know, maybe I can learn them. Norma? Vivian's probably not here, huh? Dick is not here. Leslie? Hi Leslie. Walter's here. Fran is there. Lee? Hi Lee. Rosie's over there. Tori's there. Mary's there. Martha, you here tonight? No, Martha. Katie?

[01:02]

Katie, no. Ann? Liz? Joe. You're Joe. Hi Joe. Marianne Tucker. She's away. She's away. Oh, Marianne, yeah. John Price. Hi John. Tom Vaughn. Hi Tom. Liz Twomey I saw over there. Arlene. Hi Arlene. Paul Zweig. There you go. Suki. Mick. Jim. Guinan, I saw Jim. Diana. And Andrew. Okay, now, is there somebody who is not a guest, just here for tonight, who wants to be in the whole class, whose name was not called, not read? Okay. I'm a new member. Okay. So you know you need to register or maybe you did already?

[02:06]

Okay. Anybody else? I'm going to join. Okay, Jordan's going to join. And you're going to join Mercedes? Yes. I bought a burger. I'm going to practice it. Are you going to be here for, this goes on for five more weeks, four more weeks. What? Just here for a few days. Well, I won't put your name down. He's here for tonight. Okay. Samantha. Marlene. Marlene Zweig. Marlene. Okay. Suzanne. And Marlene. Did I get everybody now? Jan Cecil. Jan Cecil. And that's it, right? Okay, so the people who, I don't know what the deal is for those of you in the Selver workshop.

[03:08]

I don't know whether you, it's part of your, for the Green Gulch residents, it's part of their residency that they get to take a class, and they don't have to pay for it. I don't know about you. Probably, maybe the same. I don't know. Yeah? Okay, good. And then other people, like Jan, probably, and I don't know if there's anybody else. You have to register. Maybe you already did. Did you register? Did you register for the class and sign up in the office and everything? No. Yeah, you have to do that. Yeah, unless you're just a visitor. If you're going to be here for the next... I was planning on being here. Yeah, then you have to go over and register for the class, yeah. Okay. So, last week we were talking about, in our theme, you know, in talking about the Six Paramitas,

[04:09]

there's different ways of looking at the Six Paramitas, and the way that we're going to focus on it is the way that Shantideva focuses on it in his text. And those of you who have Dalai Lama's book, it's the same. That is from the standpoint of bodhicitta. And what I'm trying to do is get you, so that you have a firm idea in your mind of what this bodhicitta is and get you psyched up about it, to think that it's very, very important, that it's something that you can almost taste and you definitely are interested in, and think is, you know, really, really important and the most important thing. This is what I'm trying to do every week, remind you again and again and again, and try to give you good arguments to convince you that this is the case. And the main argument is, basically, that, like I was saying last week, it's like a light in the middle of consciousness, that even though there may be

[05:15]

various wholesome or unwholesome or troublesome states of mind in your mind and in your heart, if the light of bodhicitta, this attitude of awakening, is shining in your consciousness, everything is workable, even could be pleasant, although there's great difficulty, because this mind of enlightenment is shining through. So, therefore, it's the best thing that there could possibly be, because anything else would be like putting a good element in your consciousness, which would only last for so long, then what happens when there is no more good element in your consciousness? You're in trouble. This is beyond that, because this pervades all elements of consciousness, whether positive or negative. It's an inherently unselfish consciousness. It doesn't see things self-centeredly, which is why we have so many problems. It's because our ordinary consciousness is self-centered. Even if we don't think we're selfish, most of us, I think, would say,

[06:18]

well, we're not particularly selfish people. We're generous, we're kind, and so on. And I'm sure this is true of everybody in this room. Still, our viewpoint on reality and what we see moment after moment is like we're looking through self-centered eyes, because that's the nature of being human. We see things from our own viewpoint. It's natural. And yet, seeing things in that way leads to trouble at various times, particularly when things don't go according to our viewpoint, then we suffer. So, if we had a mind that could drop that viewpoint and didn't insist on seeing everything from that perspective, it would be a very spacious and peaceful mind. It would be bigger than our viewpoint. And so, even if our viewpoint was crossed, it would be big enough to include that. And there might be some unpleasantness with that, but it wouldn't be the same as when we don't have that wider view. So, this Bodhicitta is really terrific, I'm telling you. It's the best thing. And Shantideva is telling you what a great thing it is. So, that's why the title of the book, A Flash of Light in the Dark of Night,

[07:23]

is saying that this Bodhicitta could flash into your mind like that. It's as if the mind could be dark and there could be a flash of Bodhicitta at any time, but like a flash of lightning in the dark of night, it only lasts that long, and then it's gone. And then there we are, in the same state we were before. And this is very disappointing. So, what we want to do, then, is to learn how to extend the light from that flash so that we can have a mind that is pervaded by this light almost all the time, which takes quite a deal of work and diligence in practice. And so, the whole text here and the whole practice of the Six Paramitas is all about how is it that you get that flash of light that may come up, as I quoted from Dogen last time, you don't know where it comes from. It comes from our, as Dogen says, our spiritual link with the Buddha. Well, I don't know what that means exactly, but the point is it's not caused,

[08:25]

it's not produced, it's just some gratuitous function of the universe that arises in our mind from time to time. How to nurture it, how to make it more powerful, how to base our life on it, that's the question, you know, and that's what this whole text is all about. So, I'm going to remind you probably every week about that, because we're not used to the idea of Bodhicitta, and we should really be thinking about it and having it in our minds all the time, whether or not such a thing is present in our mind. If it's present a little bit, can we make more of it? If it's present more, can we maintain it and make it larger and develop it and so on? So, that's really what we're all about in this class, and I read you many stanzas of the first chapter saying that, you know, other virtues fade away, but this Bodhicitta is limitless. So, the first thing we're going to do is… Now, some of you weren't here, so this may not work perfectly,

[09:29]

because it depends on all of us coming to class every time and doing the homework. The homework last time was to take up the practice of giving. Each week we're going to consider a practice, one of the six paramitas. And last week we were to study what we could on giving and explore. And I gave many suggestions as to how we could work with giving. And then this week we're going to make a report and explore with each other how that was, what we discovered, if anything, about giving. Now, somebody complained to me or told me something about giving that I wasn't surprised to hear this, but I didn't really mention it. And it's good, before we discuss with each other about giving, I should mention what this person raised. They said, you know, I'm burned out on giving. I give a lot, and it's depleted me.

[10:32]

So, I don't want to do… I don't know if they said this exactly, but I'm making it sound better, you know. I don't want to do this giving practice, because it burns me out. I'm burned out, you know, I'm depleted. I just want to… I don't want to give. So, I reminded… And this, of course, we all know this, right? This happens. So, I reminded the person that giving is not only giving to others. Also, we give to ourselves, so that we could continue the practice of giving in relation to ourselves. This is tricky, though, because how is this not selfishness? How can you practice giving in relation to yourself and have this not be selfish? I think this is possible, you know. I think it's possible to give to yourself as if you were someone else. Give to yourself in an unself-centered way. I think this is actually possible. And, you know, there's a lot of people in the world, and they're all worthy, right, of receiving gifts.

[11:35]

Why should we be less worthy than anyone else? And plus, we're closer to ourselves than anyone. So, if you're going to give, you might as well give to everyone equally, and you might as well start close to home. So, if you have needs, why not give to yourself? So, with that spirit, in other words, it's not, I'm more important to me than anybody else. And why doesn't everybody give to me? Because I'm the only one who deserves to get anything. Not like that, but more like, everyone deserves to receive, and I actually have needs, and I'm right here, so why don't I start giving to myself with the attitude that there are other people also who need to receive, and perhaps I or someone else will make offerings and gifts to them. So, with that spirit, I think it's actually possible, carefully, to give to ourself, and especially if we are in some way wounded, or really have big needs.

[12:36]

It's very important to give to ourselves then, because we have needs and have wounds due to causes and conditions, and whoever and whatever conditions and causes created those needs and wounds is suffering, because we're wounded. So, actually, our healing from our wounds and our fulfilling our needs is beneficial not only to ourselves, but to the other causes and conditions, if there are people involved, and the people who are responsible, our healing benefits them also. So, it's necessary for us, in the spirit of giving to others and ourselves, to actually give in that way. So, it's very important to realize that, and not to see giving as a kind of... The practice of giving should not be depleting ourselves. It should be renewing us, actually, if it's correct giving. So, I just wanted to say that in case other people may have had similar experiences, and it happens a lot. Before we go on, would you mind

[13:37]

defining bodhicitta again? OK. It literally means the awakening thought, or awakening consciousness, or... Because bodhi means to awaken. So, as I was saying last time, in the Buddhist analysis of mind, every mind, there's two, basically, two big divisions of mind. One is citta, which is the same citta as in bodhicitta, citta. And the other one is caitasika. Caitasika is all the stuff that's in the mind, the different mental states. And there may be several operating in any given state of mind. And citta is the overriding consciousness that arises in response to a stimulus. And I gave the analogy of a light. You turn on a light, and then there's stuff in the room. When you turn the light on, you see what's in the room, different chairs, tables, furniture. The chairs, tables, and furniture are all elements of mind. Citta is like the light. Until the citta is activated,

[14:43]

there's no consciousness. Like if we're sleeping, we're not aware of consciousness. Although there is consciousness, but citta is not. But we're conscious without having developed bodhicitta. Yes, yes. So this is a kind of light. We're conscious without having developed bodhicitta, but the nature of our consciousness is that we haven't come into contact with the nature of our consciousness. And this is an effort to come into contact with the actual nature of our consciousness and to develop it. So yes, we're still conscious. And the fact that there is consciousness is in a rudimentary form, or a non-developed form, bodhicitta. That's the secret. It's not an effort for us in a way. We have to do a lot of work, but actually it's natural to us because consciousness is already luminous. That's the concept. That's awakened consciousness. Yes. It seems to me though, how I'm hearing it,

[15:43]

it's different perhaps from something that we call awakening. Not really. It's actually, the difference is that bodhicitta is a way of talking about awakening to emphasize the altruistic nature of it. So in the teachings on bodhicitta it's always emphasized the altruistic nature of this mind. That sets aside its own enlightenment in order to save and help other beings. But there's ambiguity in the texts. I think I quoted it to you from Dogan, where he says, it's not at all the same thing as enlightenment. And then he says, it is the same thing as enlightenment. Because enlightenment has a sense of inertness or all-pervadingness without a warm heart. And bodhicitta is really enlightenment emphasizing the warm heart and the altruistic nature of this mind. So there's a kind of ambiguity there.

[16:45]

It's not really clearly defined as far as I understand in the texts, the differences. Bodhicitta can come out of nowhere? Well, it's not caused, it's not uncaused. You can't say it is or it isn't. So, yeah. It's not something, it's not like, say, you know, the ability to do quadratic equations, which comes from teaching and studying and so on. You learn how to do it. There is cultivation in the process of developing bodhicitta, but the actual appearance of it is not caused. So that we don't, I think the reason why that's emphasized so that we don't think of it as a possession or something that is controllable. So is it like a state of grace then somehow? Yeah, it's like a state of grace, in a way. Although, as we'll see as we go on here, there's enormous teachings about how to cultivate it and develop it and make it.

[17:46]

So it's not as if the teachings are saying, well, since nothing can be done, have faith and something will happen. There's a kind of paradox here, the paradox of working very hard to develop and produce and extend bodhicitta that arises in the mind is not the result of your effort. Which, it sounds like a kind of logical twist, you know, but actually you can see the logic of it and the sense of it in actual experience because that's how it feels. It feels like you're making effort in practice, but you don't see a connection you see the effort as a kind of joy, as a kind of, that's your job, that's what you do, I mean. You just make that effort. You eat food every day. You don't really, you just want to do it. It's just what you do. You don't think, oh, this food is now

[18:47]

making this and this and this happen. So you just make that kind of effort and then the feeling is of a freely given state of mind and happiness coming, not necessarily as a result of that activity. So there's a kind of sense of gratefulness about it. If I can add one more question, which is, a Buddha sat for seven days under a boat tree and at the seventh day he experienced something. This is Bodhicitta. He experienced it, do you think? Let's say that. Let's say that. But it wasn't Bodhicitta that gave him the enthusiasm to sit for seven days? Before? Well, see, it's kind of complicated because, see, in the early, one view of Buddhism is that a Bodhisattva is a person who is working

[19:49]

toward being a Buddha, a pre-Buddha. And the Bodhisattva's career begins with the arising of Bodhicitta. Then they develop Bodhicitta and at the end of that course of study they become a Buddha. So it's real clear that a Buddha is hierarchically higher than a Bodhisattva. And Bodhicitta is more immature than enlightenment. This is very clear in the Pali Canon texts. But with the rise of the Mahayana and the Mahayana texts and the proliferation of texts, more and more they got into the idea of Bodhicitta and more and more they were stressing altruism and saving all sentient beings and this great vow. And more and more I know when I studied the Avatamsaka Sutra I was trying to figure this point out. And it was very clear to me that there was a purposeful contradiction.

[20:51]

Sometimes they would give the bold explanation and sometimes they would confound Bodhicitta and enlightenment because they wanted to emphasize it a lot. They wanted to show and then like I quoted last week, Dogen says our way, our Zen way is not to become a Buddha. Our way is to become a Bodhisattva. So originally Bodhisattva was preparation to be Buddha but later it became almost a higher ideal than Buddha and then almost identical. So actually though we're still working on developing Bodhicitta so why would we worry about whether the difference between that and full enlightenment because we're not there yet. So I still have a new thing an easier thing. But it is easier. It's easier. Yeah, it is easier. Yeah. So I don't know how

[21:52]

everybody what you all did or how you worked with the practice of giving and I put out a lot of ideas last time. So what I want to do and this is what I like to try to do every class is just everybody just pair up with whoever is next to you and I have this little bell and I'll give everybody about two or three minutes. First one person will say how they practice giving just last week or what they came to understand or what their struggles were and then I'll hit the little bell and then the other person will say what their experience was and then after that to make sure that everybody really listened well because that's an art in itself I'll get some I'll ask people did you hear anything good? So then if you raise your hand so you won't be reporting about what you did but you'll be reporting about what you heard from your partner. Okay? Then we'll hear maybe three or four or five things about what

[22:53]

practice was. Now I recognize that a lot of people are here for the first time and so couldn't have done this and then like all classes in school not everybody does their homework you can't expect you know a hundred percent homework so then you say something else talk about something you feel or have thought about what the conversation we just had now or anything that's relevant to the topic not like you know what you had for dinner or something but something that has to do with the topic at hand and if you can't think of a single thing to say then just fall silent during that time and then when the bell rings the other person can talk and we'll see what happens. One problem as I was doing my homework today reviewing my practice for the week one thing occurred to me that might be a little difficult about this and that is this can get pretty personal you know and so

[23:54]

I would say we should all agree that we will be not go around telling other people about what somebody's practiced or not and also there are probably ways of I was trying to figure out a way that I could report my experiments with giving without being too personal you know like not using names or not defining the situation exactly but sort of generally so try it out and see and I suppose if it feels like it's too personal and we don't know each other well enough we may switch and do something a little different but I would like to try it okay and then next week we'll have another practice to work on so if everybody would get someone just right next to them nearby of course it's better for someone you know okay does everybody have someone? here's an extra person here

[24:56]

that needs a partner do you need a partner? Andrew did you find a partner? here's a partner over here maybe you two guys who haven't been here should discuss okay and Andrew there's somebody over here yeah who's going to be here for a while so yeah so you two can talk is everybody now is there anybody who doesn't have a partner? everybody has to be included now everybody has a partner Olga? you don't have a partner Olga? okay I'll be your partner okay you ready? okay let's start that means start how was that?

[26:12]

let's give it to you it doesn't really feel like the practice is giving it okay great

[27:28]

thank you thank you oh my gosh whoa I didn't even realize we had our interview So just finish up what you were saying and then it's time to switch and the other person

[28:29]

But I wasn't sure So I didn't give it So I didn't feel good and that's a good And I didn't feel good if I gave it And if I gave it, sometimes if someone asks you You just give what you have to give Did I? So It was never good I took notes, I took notes And I wasn't clear in my mind Sometimes giving is a good thing Yes I don't know What is giving It's sometimes Yeah, yeah, yeah I do that So I have a hard time with this I'm still working on this This is one of the most complicated aspects of giving Yeah, yeah

[30:16]

It's a big thing If you were giving to all of them That's certainly one aspect One way of approaching it Yeah, that's good Yes Yeah Yeah Well, that's the fact that So in real life These techs have a general It's an important idea But sometimes in real situations It's hard to know But I had a good reason to make it I had efforts I was practicing with all of them I thought it was very peaceful

[31:22]

I wanted to try and give Today is a very special day It's very quiet Very, very quiet You know why? Why? It's a special day Yeah, many people do that

[32:36]

Are you able to do that? Yeah Yeah, yeah And that's giving up Putting down like that It's another way of giving up Giving up Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah You can stay here Yes, we do that It's a different way Interesting Okay, well that seemed lively enough Does anybody

[33:37]

Did anybody hear something that surprised them Or that impressed them about The practice of giving? Yeah Yeah, I heard My partner say That they were Trying out some giving attitude And one of the Reasons they were doing that Was to work with an attitude Kind of opposite to that that they had Which wasn't doing them any good So that realization that it wasn't doing them any good I felt was Was a great observation So that would make it easier to Get rid of that attitude Yeah Anybody else? Oh I heard my partner say that She experiences Giving as

[34:38]

Surrendering to the Process of the Practice period And feels herself Changing Through that process without effort Isn't that lovely Anybody else? Yeah Andrew My partner highlighted the Idea of Of when he gives In a particular context He gets back tenfold You know, what he gives So again, it's sort of effortless giving But what impressed me most is that he stressed that he Went into He set aside a time When he would be devoted to himself But if an opportunity for giving came up That seemed appropriate He would do that instead So What I like about it is that he's Choosing to give in a very mindful Kind of specific way For a specific duration And he's got kind of a fallback plan of

[35:40]

You know, self-giving There too So he's giving but not in a thoughtless way But in a very mindful And considered way And I think that's part of why it works so well Got a sense from what my partner said That he felt that simply being With people Talking to them, sharing his life Writing and listening, that was giving in itself Didn't have to be an act of Offering something Yeah Yeah Yeah I heard my partner say he'd been Thoughtfully looking at How to Give in situations where he could see He wasn't doing it for To get something back And how some of the things He had found had to do with Being in a group and When there's an opportunity for Everybody to benefit to just

[36:40]

Quietly himself Allow other people to enjoy Whatever was the thing And just Personally have less for himself In a quiet kind of way Letting things alone As a form of giving sort of Yeah Well my partner Had a very interesting thing to say about The way we measure The give and take process And how she was just going to give up Measuring You know, I do this, you do that And she was just going to do You know, do it all and stop measuring What she was getting back And she enjoyed that Yeah and the perfection of giving Because these are perfections As we discussed last week They say in the sutra That there's no Giver No gift And no receiver So no measurement And even no

[37:41]

Consciousness of giving No idea, I am now giving Even not only Not getting credit or making measurement But also not even thinking Of oneself as giving It almost comes down to Just a pure being An openness almost With no consciousness of giving Okay Well that seemed like an okay thing to do Seemed like people Had lots to say And very lively So thank you, we'll do that again At the end of the class I'll give you your homework for next time And It has to do with This next paramita Which is Shila paramita Or The perfection of Right conduct Or morality Now we're

[38:45]

Talking about A situation in which We are aware of And are somewhat familiar with Bodhicitta It's not foreign to us And In so far as It arises in our mind We have to nurture it And kind of nurse it along Definitely not Letting it decrease And maybe even Increasing it a little bit So it's a kind of guarding and protecting And nurturing feeling About this mind So what that means is We have to What puts the light out Is Various ways Of talking about it But in Sanskrit the term is Klesha Which we would translate as Defiled states of mind Or negative states of mind Or afflictive emotions

[39:45]

These are the kinds of translations That different authors use We all know What we're talking about Jealousy, rage Greed Fear All kinds of emotions That arise in the mind That are unpleasant And that tend to remove us From our experience And remove us from any kind of sense Of this bodhicitta So The skill of Understanding These negative states Being able to discriminate them And identify them And see the causes of them And to make our Mind and body large enough To work with them Because a lot of times what characterizes These afflictive states is that they're on us And they have us In their grip Before we even know it And we don't even realize That we're angry Or we're jealous

[40:46]

We don't even realize it We're already acting on it And the result of that is The darkening of our consciousness So now That we have had this flash of lightning Enter our lives And we are motivated To see that it's possible That we could extend it And see the tremendous benefits Of extending it We're really kind of Interested now in honing down On what are these afflictive states of mind How can we see them more closely And work with them And that's the practice of morality Now Usually You think of morality And in fact in the old Buddhist video Morality actually had to do with I mean there's only three possible Kinds of acts, right That's acts of body, speech and mind All acts are acts of body, speech and mind And so in the rules of conduct The Vinaya rules And the sense of morality

[41:47]

In Buddhism Had to do with acts of Speech and body Things just to not do But here The most important focus Is on the mind Not necessarily Although they're not unrelated of course But the focus here is on Working with negative states Not so much on how to behave And how not to behave But rather how to discriminate And work with the mind Because after Our body and speech It affects our mind Work with our mind It affects In Akinroshi's book The Practice of Morality And discusses at length The Sixteen Bodhisattva Precepts And It's in a way The Sixteen Bodhisattvas From As it's discussed by Shantideva The Sixteen Bodhisattva

[42:48]

Precepts Are almost like koans They raise questions About behavior And See the ultimate point In each kind of conduct that we Engage in Here it's kind of more of a black and white situation Although Ultimately the root Of negative Emotions as well as positive emotions Is identical And in the end We have to Get beyond any kind of sense of Separation Between Ourself and our experience Still At this stage of our practice We're better off Not getting involved In that aspect of things Because it might Cause us to be unclear about The difference between positive And negative states of mind So if someone says positive and negative states of mind Are fundamentally not different

[43:48]

It's true And it's true That in the end we have to Let go of both But at this stage in our practice When we're trying to nurture bodhicitta It's too dangerous to try to practice that way We're not really stable enough for it So it's better for us to see And that's what we're trying to do right now Is learn to discriminate between positive and negative states And to Accumulate enough Positive states So that the mind is Cooler And calmer Which is going to help our meditation practice And allow us to Clarify The nature of our experience More easily So Stephen Batchelor Translates it as Conscientiousness I forget Does anybody have a book? Right handy

[44:49]

I see Andrea has it, it's your book The Gift, right? Would you hold that up? I just want to show people This is one of the best books you could ever read It's a great book And it's all about the practice of giving What is it called? It's called The Gift And the author is Lewis Hyde And it's a terrific book I mean he talks about giving From an anthropological point of view Historical point of view He goes and analyzes poetry I mean it's He talks about Buddhism And So you should all read this book I mean you'll be delighted with it And the thing is Lewis Hyde is a friend of mine And he's a wonderful person And the reason I thought of it is that One of our donors Did a great thing He came forward and he said I want to donate money to you But I don't want it to just be for any old thing What I want it to be for Is I want you to have a scholar in residence Program So I said

[45:57]

Boy that's the greatest thing I ever heard So we're going to have a scholar in residence program And somebody's going to come every summer And live with us for about a month And Just hang around and do their scholarship Or their work And then they're going to give a few talks And be around And practice with us And it's going to be great And Lewis Hyde is going to be the first scholar in residence And I'm very excited about this He's coming probably Early August or early September And he's now Lewis is amazing When he writes a book He devotes his whole life to it And it takes him About 15 to 20 years That's how long it took him to write The Gift The Gift was published a long time ago It's a book kind of like Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind It was never a best seller but every year They keep buying it and it's always in print So now he's writing another book He's been writing this book for About 15 years now He doesn't think, he's not even He's not saying it's close But he's been writing it

[46:58]

And I don't know what the title of it is But it's about trickster figures And so what he does is It's like anybody who's interested in scholarship It's a dream kind of situation Where what he does is He kind of gets an idea like giving And he just sort of pokes around And one thing leads to another And he follows up all the leads And he just ties them all together and writes about them So this trickster thing has taken him through All sorts of different scholarship And he does a lot of anthropology And mostly anthropology and literary studies Anyway, he'll be here this summer So look for announcements about this in August And it's You have to come and hear him talk Because he's great Anyway That's very apropos Because it's about giving Back to the final states of mind And morality Stephen Batchelor Batchelor's Translation of the word klesha Is

[47:59]

Disturbing conceptions And disturbing because These states of mind are Inherently disturbing We don't like it, you know, it's not pleasant usually When we're Angry And fearful and so on Although some people might find it pleasant But my guess is that Most people who find it pleasant If they slow down long enough To actually feel what it felt like Would not find it pleasant. There's a kind of rush In afflictive states of mind And when the mind is very coarse Such a rush of emotion could be Feeling like a good thing But if the mind becomes more subtle It becomes really horrendous So the more you meditate, the more you hate Those states of mind So your problems increase As you meditate Because the more sensitive you are To afflictive states And the more you want to get away from them So you can't stand it anymore And you're forced to meditate more And work with your mind more Because you just can't take it anymore

[49:00]

So I'm pretty sure that As far as I can tell These states are unpleasant So that's why They're disturbing in that way And they're conceptions Because they are based on Conceptions in the sense of unreal Because Anger and greed and so on Are based on erroneous Conceptions and ideas About how the world really is Mostly having to do with the fact that We feel that we're Out of connection with other things So We feel like we have Needs that need to be met When in fact In connection with other things There's nothing to need and nothing to worry about So not seeing a connection Between ourselves and others Gives rise to These mental states And in fact we are connected In fact we're completely implicated in each other We can't live with each other or understand ourselves Except in relation to each other And so All these mental states

[50:05]

Are fundamentally unnecessary So In the text Shantideva likens the mind To a raging elephant You know Or a fire Kind of raging around Without any Choice Without any sense of purpose Going around in all directions Destructively What you want to do instead Is to cool and calm down the mind So that you can begin to Penetrate emptiness And see things clearly This is the ultimate way To eliminate the defiled states of mind Because like I say When you see that there's no separation Between ourselves and others When you see that the distinctions are empty Of any reality And the kleshas are gone What is klesha? K-L-E-S-H-A So conscientiousness

[51:12]

Is chapter four Conscientiousness or carefulness And that means That attitude of mind That adheres to what is positive And wants to get rid of what is negative So in English The word conscientiousness is a pretty good word A person who is conscientious Is always diligent Always making an effort Wants to do what's right, doesn't want to do what's wrong Seems to care about that And apply effort in that direction So That's the first thing we need to develop Is a sense of conscientiousness Non-laziness In relation to all this Because often Laziness is a great problem In spiritual development Because we're all Kind of lazy I think it's a universal situation So we're always looking For ways to stir ourselves To action And that's why Here in the temple We have lots of agreements To help each other

[52:14]

Show up and do the practice Lots of reminders And we really need all of them Actually In a way It's like spiritual practice Is nothing but a reminder To just come to our senses Right now Because we so constantly forget to do that So Conscientiousness Now Shantideva brings up several important Aspects, terms here That I want to try to distinguish For you That's one Conscientiousness Which in Sanskrit is apramada A-P-R-A-M-A-D-A Conscientiousness That attitude that I just spoke of Then there's another Attitude of mine Called smrti S-M-R-T-I Which is mindfulness But particularly Mindfulness in a sense of remembering It's memory It's the faculty

[53:18]

Because you can be conscientious But if you forget To apply what you know About negative states of mind You have a good attitude But nothing happens, right? So you have to remember To actually be present And notice what's going on So a kind of awareness But an awareness that brings you back Over and over and over again So in zazen for instance We apply this When our mind wanders We bring it back So the way we instruct In zazen is we say Be with your posture and your breath And if your mind wanders Bring it back So it's not as if some people think Well my mind wandered so I wasn't really doing zazen No, if your mind wanders and you bring it back Even if you bring it back 500 times In the 40 minute period It's zazen because you're exercising This faculty of smrti So to bring it back To come back to remembering Awareness Is a crucial

[54:20]

Element of mind that you need to have In order to begin to do this work Of discriminating The negative Mental states Another This is kind of subtle I think I was really fascinated to piece this together When I was studying this It's called I think I forget who The Dalai Lama calls it alertness He also Calls it in other places mental scrutiny This is the title of chapter 5 In Kelsang Gyatso's commentary He calls it discriminating alertness And in another book I have Called Meditation on Emptiness Professor Hopkins calls it introspection And Bachelor Stephen Bachelor calls it guarding alertness The Sanskrit Is Samprayana S-A-M-P-R-A-J-A-N-Y-A Samprayana And so it means

[55:23]

Discriminating alertness or mental scrutiny Or introspection And it's the Faculty of mind That Makes a judgment And a discrimination About the mind that's arising So if you like If you're holding a teacup If you have an attitude of I really would like to hold this teacup In a level way That's So you have a teacup And You're not just picking it up Unconsciously without thinking about it You really have an attitude about how you want to hold it So conscientiousness Is that attitude Mindfulness is being aware that you're holding a teacup Now I'm aware I'm holding a teacup

[56:25]

So in addition to my attitude of wanting to hold it In a certain way I now have an awareness of holding it I know I'm holding it When I notice That I'm not holding it straight And I hold it straight Then that's Discriminating awareness Or introspection So these are three different things See how sophisticated and subtle this is Three different things to be developed One is a general attitude of diligence A second is An awareness of what one is doing Because an attitude without awareness Is no good And an awareness without some discrimination Is not sufficient Now this is a very tricky point For us Especially I think Because a lot of times When we try to apply discriminating awareness We get tripped up In judgment, in self judgment This is a problem This

[57:26]

Teaching of Shantideva Assumes A kind of sufficient faith And a healthy enough ego That When we discriminate Whether or not we're holding a cup We're not going to start complaining about ourselves Like how come you can't Ever hold a cup You're a jerk, you have no awareness Of anything If that happens then right away that's not helpful Because I've lost My practice of what I'm trying to do here And I'm now involved In a kind of self-centered Defiled Conceptions here Relative to myself Which is now taking me far away From this diligent effort I'm trying to make To hone down my mind You see what I mean So it's very tricky for us And so sometimes I think that it might be better So we have to be able to Figure out if we're doing that or not If we're doing that Then it's not a good practice Discriminating awareness is not a good practice

[58:28]

For us at that time And I think myself Shantideva doesn't say this but From my own experience and also from Studying other texts that Emphasize mindfulness in other ways That It's also a good practice Simply to be aware There's a kind of awareness Called bare attention Without discrimination This may be more helpful Than discriminating awareness So Maybe we need a long time of practicing That way Before we begin to develop Discriminative awareness If that discriminative awareness Is going to Activate Negative self-consciousness So That's tricky However With enough practice I think of Bare attention The mind becomes more stable

[59:30]

Instances of This kind of negative Discrimination Against ourself Subside And then it's possible to gently introduce Identifications of And antidotes to Negative states of mind So that's why these three Different discriminations And different possible ways of looking at it Are given The Dalai Lama has a great Sentence In his chapter on this Discriminative awareness He says in this way The mind like a drunken elephant Maddened by the three poisons And the three poisons are Greed, hate and delusion Or in other words Wanting to hold on to something Even our life Wanting to get rid of something Like a bad state of mind Or an unpleasant situation Or being confused about the two

[60:33]

This is the essential Root of all The defiled states of mind So this is what And this is natural All human beings have this And it's at the root of all The defiled states of mind So our mind Under the You know Power of these three poisons Becomes like a drunken elephant Raging around And then it says That mind will be tied To the pillar of positive actions By the rope of mindfulness And tamed By the hook Of discriminative awareness So mindfulness Is like the rope That holds us To the pillar of positive actions And awareness is the hook That actually gets us to You know like with an elephant I guess they tame it with a hook To kind of lift up the leg or whatever So you can see And that's a good analogy Because if the hook Draws blood

[61:34]

Then just stay with the rope And eventually The elephant calms down Just by being tethered Even without the hook But the hook Applied in the right way With enough skill And not drawing blood Will actually help at the right time So let me Share a few stanzas with you here Another thing That's a little shocking I think I told you the first time That whenever I read The Shantideva text At length, I mean in detail Many problems come up Like the one I just shared with you Discriminative awareness Can be a problem for us And this is a problem here Because Shantideva really gets into this And he Talks about These Defiled states of mind as our worst enemy And that we should Trample these states of mind And kill them and so on and so forth He says here

[62:38]

And to do this To eliminate defiled states of mind Will be my sole obsession Holding a strong grudge I shall meet them in battle But disturbing conceptions such as these Destroy disturbing conceptions And for the time being Are not to be abandoned In other words, I know that to hate my disturbing conceptions Is a problem But I'm going to apply hatred to them Just to get rid of them And then once they're gone, I'll deal with the hatred It won't be so hard to get rid of Once the defiling states of mind are gone It would be better for me to be burned To have my head cut off And to be killed Rather than ever bowing down To these ever-present disturbing conceptions So I mean, he's really working up But actually, it's a good thing Because we don't really see How bad Our anger and all the stuff that's in us

[63:43]

Is. We don't think of it as being A real problem. We think of it as Well, that's just me. But it's not me It's actually a defiled state of mind That's arising that actually is very destructive So he's kind of psyching this up here To realize that You would be better off having your whole body Burned down Than, you know Thinking that these were all right Let alone not Waging absolute Nuclear war against them Common enemies, when expelled From one country Simply retire and settle down in another But when their strength is recovered They then return But the way of this enemy My disturbing conceptions Is not similar in this respect Uh, what does he mean there? He means they're like dust You know when you dust Dust them? When you dust dust off a table, it goes up to the air And then settles down somewhere else

[64:43]

Yeah, that's the common enemies, right? You get rid of them Maybe he means Once you get rid of these They're gone He means it's okay to use hatred to get rid of hatred Because this kind of hatred, once it's gone It's gone So it's worth it Then he says Deluded disturbing conceptions! Exclamation point When forsaken by the eye of wisdom And dispelled from my mind Where will you go? Yeah, that's what it is Like the enemy goes away and might come back But once these are uprooted, where will they go? They'll disappear Where will you dwell In order to be able to injure me again? So the result We fight against our enemies But the enemy's going to come back later And we don't bother to fight against the disturbing conceptions When they're much more destructive And plus we can actually win Permanently, because they'll be gone So But weak-minded I have been reduced to making no effort

[65:43]

If these disturbing conceptions Do not exist within the objects The sense organs between the two Nor elsewhere Then where do they exist? And how do they harm the world? They are like an illusion Thus should I dispel the fear within my heart And strive resolutely for wisdom For no real reason Why should I suffer so much in hell? In other words, the disturbing conceptions Are the result of Confusion about what's really going on We are confused about the nature of ourselves And the nature of others And because of that confusion We have these feelings of jealousy and anger And so on and so forth Once we see the truth of this They're gone And look how destructive they are Now Why don't we make the big effort? That's what he's saying Once we see the truth of the illusion That is the source Of all the In other words, greed, hate, delusion We want something Because we think we don't already have it

[66:44]

We want to get rid of it Because we think it's a threat Those things aren't so We already have what we need And nothing is threatening So why do we allow this to happen? Why do we have a world like the one we have? I mean, this is dangerous stuff, right? Disturbing conceptions Ignorance and hatred are Very potent I mean, we're really talking in terms of Just our own minds And the unpleasantness In our lives Of hatred and ignorance But in addition to that There's hatred and ignorance to the max Hopefully, and I believe That none of us here would Push it that far But we know that people do And they kill one another And they blow things up, right? Because of these negative emotions Which are pointless Because they're based on Mistaken notions about reality And once we see that

[67:45]

They're gone And we have ease And if we don't see that Look what happens Look how Look at the consequences So we'd better do it We really can't waste any time We really better devote ourselves to this What could possibly be more important Than this? So he says The concluding stanza of this chapter is Therefore, having thought about this well I should try to put These precepts into practice Just as they have been explained If the doctor's instructions Are ignored How will a patient in need of cure Be healed by his medicines? So In other words, now you know We've talked about this You understand this But it's meaningless By going to the doctor and explaining the condition But you don't take the medicine And the medicine is To do the practice of discriminating These states

[68:46]

And beginning to You know And you discriminate them more and more subtly You, I mean Raging hatred and anger We all recognize But how about hatred and anger Before it quite develops Because you have to If you wait until it's raging Usually you overcome You actually can't really do anything there What you can do And the best thing to do Is just not hit somebody Because then things escalate So you can just Don't do anything But once it's Completely overtaken you You're really pretty powerless to make it go away So what about two steps before it overtakes you Can you recognize it And discriminate it with greater and greater subtlety And apply More positive states At that time So that it doesn't overcome you So You know In the analysis of Of mine It lists Different, there's you know

[69:48]

I told you about citta and caitasika Well there's I think 51 or 52 Delineated caitasikas And those are divided Into all these different categories And I'll just read you the list here Of There's six of the 51 Six of the 51 Are called the root kleshas These are the basic ones And then there are 20 secondary kleshas That come from the root kleshas So the root kleshas are Desire, anger, pride Ignorance, doubt And confused views Views about self and other that are untrue Those are the root afflictions They kind of reduce down To greed, hate and ignorance But a little Fuller view of them is those six Anger, pride, ignorance, doubt And mixed up views Secondary Kleshas Are defined as Belligerence Resentment I just thought you'd enjoy these Belligerence, resentment, concealment

[70:51]

Spite Jealousy, greed Deceit Dissimulation Haughtiness, harmfulness Non-shame Non-embarrassment These are the opposites of Two virtuous states of mind Called shame and embarrassment Which we think, what good are those? But actually they're very good because If you didn't have shame and embarrassment You wouldn't stop when you did something That was not so great So this way Shame and embarrassment are very positive They call them the guardians of the world Because that's what keeps us all on Is shame and embarrassment So shame and embarrassment are positive virtuous states of mind But the lack of them Is a defilement Or a klesha Or an afflicted conception Forgetfulness Which is the opposite of mindfulness Non-introspection Which is the opposite of introspection And distraction There are many different systems of these

[71:51]

Of course, but this is one particular Map of them Okay So Now for homework Here's what I was thinking And you know, again I always have to say that You know, you figure out your own way of doing this And you know, it can evolve On your own during the week But I was thinking that for homework You know, the homework Is obviously to be aware of And work with Defiled, let's say Disturbing conceptions These disturbing conceptions To identify them And learn as much as you can About them Like What causes What caused it Can you see what caused it This is very interesting To actually look and see What was the immediate cause What was the long term cause Can you identify an immediate cause And a long term cause Of an afflicted emotion Or a disturbing conception

[72:53]

Can you give us an example Of a disturbing conception Jealousy, you have a thought of jealousy What caused that Thought of jealousy What was the short run conditions And what was the background A long range condition Now, the question, that's one thing That's the main thing To identify these states of mind And try to find causes for them The second thing is To see if you can identify in yourself The presence And cultivate the presence of these three Aids to Working with mental states Which are conscientiousness Mindfulness Or remembering Remembering mindfulness And Discriminating awareness See if you can You know Of course these things are all made up Right But When you make something like this up What happens is you start noticing different things About your mental state These are tools, right

[73:55]

To help you So if you all of a sudden say Is there now present in my mind An attitude of conscientiousness If you ask yourself that question All of a sudden everything looks different Because you begin to notice Oh, no, there isn't Actually I don't Give a damn right now About my life, about practice I mean basically I'm on to lunch That's what's really going on And But if you don't ask yourself Is there the presence of conscientiousness You might never notice that In fact we spend a lot of time in that state of mind You know completely Not really I mean what is going on in our mind I think a lot of times There's a kind of a Subliminal Um Habitual I think there's a kind of dream that goes on during the day You know what I mean That we're not aware of

[74:56]

That usually has to do with something that happened That created Um A disturbing conception That we're really not interested in looking at And so We fixate at that point And it's like being in a dream Repeating over and over again all day long We're going through the motions of walking and talking And having conversations with people And doing things and there it is the whole time is there And we haven't really noticed it And we could actually sleepwalk Through an entire Life Think of it You could do that And it would be a shame It would really be a shame Because not only would you never have Had a chance to live this precious life But also The joy that you could Experience would be completely Gone And not only that but the possible Good that you could do For others and the joy that you could bring to others lives Would be completely out the window And you probably would very likely be

[75:58]

Instead of adding joy to other people's lives Be a drag on the system So the stakes are high And it's really a shame And the time goes by and that's it Nobody says Here's another chance No Now if you want to Look at it in a past life perspective Where there is another chance There's another chance But you have a terrible birth You won't be born as a human being See If you Somebody must have turned on the water Anyway So these kind of tools To see is there discriminating alertness Can you tell the difference between Is there conscientiousness And is there remembrance What is that? The elephant There is an elephant I think that's what it is Anyway and then next week We'll check it out We'll see What it was like

[76:58]

And if you have problems with any of this That's part of the experiment too If you find that you can't do it Or you resist it You want to hear about that too Resistances to these things Or the impossibility of doing this Is also interesting So don't feel like We don't know where it will take you But wherever it takes you Even if it takes you to reject the whole thing That's interesting too So see what you come up with Yes Walter You said to ask yourself about Consciousness, mindfulness and what was the third? Conscientiousness Conscientiousness I mean Mindfulness and Discriminating awareness In other words being able to tell the difference Between one mental state and the other Yeah Is there a difference between Noticing That you went through a process like that After it Or while it's happening Of course there's a difference It's better to know about it

[78:00]

Afterward than not to know about it at all And then you want to catch up to yourself eventually See like The Buddha Was on it that fast So it never looks like The Buddha looks completely serene and happy As if he never has any Afflictive emotions But that's because the Buddha is Alert enough and discriminating enough To be right there before They have a chance to take over So mostly they happen and we go through our life Like that and we don't even say We don't even know what it is So much better afterward to look back and say Aha look what happened there Wow you know I shouldn't have done that That's good and then better yet So then we notice like a week later Better to notice two days later Better yet to notice one day afterward And better to notice ten minutes after And then like right now And then notice before it even happens It's like catching yourself Before you catch a cold You can feel a cold coming on and you Do something and then you never get a cold Like that Are these questions listed in here

[79:02]

Or No One more time For all of us that can't write fast Oh you want to write all of this down No just the six central Oh the six Okay the six No I'm mostly speaking from the Standpoint of Shantideva And Ekin Roshi talks about this From a different angle altogether Okay the six root kleshas Are desire Anger Pride Ignorance Doubt And wrong views Wrong views Wrong views Meaning specifically About the nature of self and other The nature of our Wrong views about reality So okay Okay

[80:06]

Wrong views It's mentioned in lots of Different Buddhist books If you look up books Abhidharma books in the library We'll probably have some stuff about that I'm getting I was looking up in a book called Meditation on Emptiness Yeah Liz There are times when doubt is Considered a positive, a virtue Yes Well this kind of doubt Is that you know Usually from a Zen perspective Two totally different kinds of doubt Are distinguished One kind is the kind that's Referred to here which Is a kind of negative or corrosive Doubt It's when you doubt your own ability to practice You doubt the practice itself You doubt the value of your life Those kind of doubts Don't really get you anywhere Because they paralyze you They don't spur you on to more practice They actually kind of make you Give up And take a break

[81:07]

Or even worse Affirm negative states of mind Like well the hell with it anyway I'm going to go out and get drunk Who cares That kind of doubt So generally speaking That kind of doubt is not helpful Except in so far as you can Take it so far that you realize It's not helpful And then you may have strong motivation So you can get drunk every night for five years At the end of which time you may say Wow this course of action is not helping And then Maybe you'll have serious motivation To do something different The other kind of doubt is Doubt that Is questioning doubt So you know What is my life What is dharma It's the kind of doubt that doesn't just Take things by rote and on faith But investigates So it's investigative doubt And that kind of doubt, that kind of questioning Is very positive, in fact it's necessary It's one of the factors of enlightenment

[82:09]

It's absolutely necessary And certainly in Zen It's made into an art form In Koan study it's all about that kind of doubt Using that kind of doubt To sharpen The mind And raise energy But they're completely different In English The same word happens to cover them But they're two different Sanskrit words They're considered to be two different mental states Altogether Well I think we should end And those of you Who want to join with the practice period in the Zendo We're going to bow over there But we will chant The four vows now May Our intention May our intention May our intention

[82:56]

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