This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. So, the last session of the practice period. Recently I was reading a couple of scientific articles on willpower. It's a very interesting proposition. We deeply intend to do something with sincerity and dedication. And then we commit ourselves to doing it.

[01:03]

And then all sorts of things happen. How do we maintain a steady connection to our intention? And maybe to sophisticated and enlightened Zen students like you, these two scientific studies will seem a little shallow. But here they are. University of Florida. I think the person's name was Roy Baumeister. The notion was that world power is a limited commodity. You've got a certain amount and when you use it up, it's used up. So he took two groups and He got them to do a task that demanded that they stay attentive.

[02:07]

They had to solve a mathematical problem. Actually, the problem was unsolvable, but they had to make a concerted effort to work on it. And then he broke them into two groups. In one group, to perform another task in advance, which also demanded their willpower. It was something more physical, like they had to wait in a cold place or something. And then one group didn't. And then the test was to see who had the most stick-to-it-ness, who was most persistent and persevering with the mathematical task. And... the group that hadn't had the previous hardship that demanded willpower were more perseverant.

[03:10]

So he was working on the thesis, as I say. There's a limited amount. And if you contrast or compare that to bodhisattva vow there's a different equation implied there I would say maybe you wouldn't but I would and then here's the other one by a cohort of yours Kelly McGonagall this one's lovely it's so Two groups. She set them up, and this was going to be... And then they were on a diet. And I brought into a room, and there was an abundance of donuts. And they were invited to help themselves.

[04:23]

Bunch of donuts? Go for it. And then afterwards... they were brought into another room where there was a whole bunch of candy. And again, eat as much as you want. But here was the test. Here was what she was working with. So they're on a diet. They come in. There's irresistible donuts. So they eat donuts, right? Then half the group taken aside, and they say to them, everybody has a lapse. You know, you can't just think, okay, I'm not going to do it, and then you never, ever, ever do it. Everybody has a lapse. Go on in there and into that other room. And then the other group, they just went straight into the room.

[05:28]

And then... And they figured, what the hell? I've eaten a bunch of donuts. My dad's totally blown. Bring on the candy. And so they ate, the paper writes, I think they ate 70-whatever grams or whatever, on scissors, I don't know what it was. And then the group that was coached into, I don't know if you'd call it forgiveness or... a more savvy perspective of persevering with your intention, they need about 20 grams. So, this challenge for each one of us

[06:29]

is as we intend, attempt to persevere with, in some ways, the most radical challenge a human being can take on. Don't simply go with the momentum of your habit energy. There's this image when Shakyamuni awakens. He throws his bowl into the water, don't ask me why, but he throws his bowl into the water and it goes upstream against the current. It goes against the current of habit energy. Delusions, the arisings of mind,

[07:31]

unrelenting. I vow to stay present. I vow to notice. I vow to acknowledge. I vow to contact and experience. And what is that inner alchemy that not only sets the intention but sets the surround that enables the intention to persevere. And how does each one of us make that that exploration for ourselves and so I would say we watch the movement of mind we watch the arising of

[08:54]

some kind of strategy, some hesitancy, some resistance, some distraction. Knowing that tendency within us that when we grasp the thought there is this tendency to grasp the next thought and the whole sequence. and then go next door and eat the candy too. Why not? There is that tendency within us that when we are pushing against something, when we're making something happen, we use up energy. We use up resolve. We use up perseverance. So as we set sail in this machine, this careful attention to the workings of conditioned existence in general and to the particularity of our own habituated way.

[10:27]

And this is where the bodhisattva vow is so... practical and helpful. We start off by saying this is not about conquering, controlling. This is not about persevering with a rigid determination. This is about bringing forth, as Dogen Zenji would say, bringing forth the complete vow of practice. And fortunately, since you've been in the throes, in the cauldron of practice period, and you are already enlightened, bringing forth the complete vow of practice is no big deal.

[11:37]

Because it's what brought you here in the first place. One of Rilke's poems addresses this. Sometimes a man or a woman, I guess, sometimes a man stands up during supper and walks outdoors and keeps on walking because of a temple that stands somewhere in the east. His children say blessings for him as if he were dead. And another man who remains inside his house dies there, inside the dishes and in the glasses. so that his children have to go far out into the world, toward that same temple that he forgot. Buddha nature, something in us knows.

[12:56]

use real case image not because of the particular plates or glasses or table or location of your karmic life something more universal and brought you here What is it to let it shine bright? What is it to let it resonate, integrate with the alchemy of intention? What is it to be such a person? This is the Zen way.

[14:14]

We scare ourselves to death even before we've sat down on our cushions. Or as we sit down on our cushions. It's like, uh-oh, this is it. As we danced with in the last Sushin, Rumi's phrase, in this new love, die. Is it a new love or is this the love that's kept us breathing our whole life? That kept us looking and searching and brought us here. Maybe this is the new version of it, the current version of it.

[15:23]

Okay. And in the service of all this, in this practice period, I have tried to confuse you and mislead you with certain teachings. How could they possibly measure up? to what's innate in your being. The way of the four foundations. Remembering that this alchemy is facilitated by a yogic practice, the yogic practice of working with the substance of being human, the body, the breath, the mind, the attributes of mind, the particularity as mind starts to open and unfold, the seven factors of awakening.

[16:47]

the hindrances of how the mind and the body and the breath can contract. The skandhas, how consciousness, human consciousness, is just a collection of different attributes of consciousness. together fall apart come together full part of how every situation has its own context its own particularity its own right and wrong its own success and failure within that particularity our whole life happens.

[17:56]

It doesn't happen anywhere else. That's the nature of conditioned existence. And yet with awareness it's seen for just what it is. And in seeing the conditioned the unconditioned is alluded to. Not this. And together they teach us something of the fine art of awareness. Attend to what is and don't make it into an absolute truth. Attend to what is And don't grasp it and cling to it as if it was a matter of life and death.

[19:03]

Attend to what is, and when you do grasp it and cling to it, let it melt in the factors of shunyata. Everything's impermanent. Everything has just established its particularity within the context of its happening. Everything is a codependent arising. So now we're here. Oh, and then we had a few koans in the mix. And a few definitions of samadhi. Which I'm sure are emblazoned in your mind.

[20:13]

not knowing. When has any one of us sat Zazen for even 10 minutes and known in advance exactly every thought that would come into our heads? Or five minutes? Or the more so a full period a day a week, the many months of this practice period. And yet our effort of staying with that, our effort of allowing ourselves to stay within the rigor and demand of the schedule and the structure of practice period. it has ripened us, it has tenderized us, it has made us available to now and yet now given our human conditioned existence is such a elusive event how easy it is

[21:56]

to spin off how easy it is for the energy of awareness to dissipate how easy it is for the energy of awareness to grasp infuse some particular topic or emotion So this is what we bring to the start of Shishin. This state of being that's more available to now and yet still susceptible to the workings of karmic consciousness. My hope in laying all that out is that this moment will seem more like an auspicious opportunity than just a seven-day chore between you and bindless, glorious freedom.

[23:32]

When this is over, life will be so wonderful. Bindless freedom. I would say, oh, what a shame. What a shame in this world of such difficulty and suffering, having brought so much diligent effort and attention to these months, that in this culminating sasheen, to not, as Rumi so gently says, in this new love, die. the best of yourself.

[24:44]

That which brought you is waiting to reveal the nobility of its spirit. Those unvalenting karmic formations are waiting to be held, to be listened to so thoroughly they don't insist on repeating themselves and boring you to death. They also wait to be held with a deep, patient, compassionate understanding. This is our practice.

[25:57]

How thoroughly, how completely can we immerse in it? How thoroughly, how completely can we let it be the experience of now? How thoroughly and completely so the impulse to step outside to there and then to before and after. It's simply like the bird call. Look at that. To be met with patience, understanding, be heard and felt deeply, so deeply that it becomes the pulsing energy of what is.

[27:03]

Just like that. So as you sit, to sit in the Buddha mudra of posture, the body of uprightness, the body of releasing into spaciousness and ease. Maybe you'll be fortunate and there will be moments when that's actually what's happening. however the body mudra, the Buddha mudra chooses to express itself through the body, relate carefully and attentively. To let that careful attention discover posture.

[28:22]

Not some slashed, slapdash, half-attentive mental notion as to what your posture should be. Not some rigid notion that has some sense of ambition. Defining posture. This careful, caring intimacy in relationship to your physicality. Each period, each time you start to sit, rediscover your body. At the end of each period, as Dogen Zenji says, stand up quietly, slowly and deliberately. to your body. Don't wear it out.

[29:27]

And don't sort of nest by moving before you need to. Let it discover what it is to let the energy flow. And then similarly with the breath. broadening teachings in the breath. The image in Zen, letting the bottom fall under the bucket. Sometimes the bottom of the bucket is at the level of the solar plexus. Of course, we don't want to go down into the blue dragon's cave.

[30:30]

But until we do, it's both mysterious and dangerous. That's why it's called the Blue Dragon's Cave. Letting something visceral release can't be forced. You can't demand it of yourself. It's like slapping yourself hard in the face and saying, be happy. laughing yourself hard in the face and saying, relax, everything's fine. It's a more tender intimacy that your being is yearning for. Allowing and releasing. Prajnatara says, this sutra I study hundreds and thousands and tens of thousands of times.

[31:38]

Allow, release. Until everything becomes allowed and released. Until you're breathing the sound of the bird, the light coming in through the soji screens. So you're breathing the sensation in your knee. And releasing. This is the Buddha mudra, the disposition, the awakening disposition of breath. Buddha mudra of the mind. Intentionality. Seeing the condition without grasping and turning it into an absolute.

[32:55]

Staying attentive so consciousness doesn't sink into a kind of swampy opaqueness. This careful attending to conditioned existence so that the resolve, the commitment, the intention can function with the fluidity, the equanimity, the persistence, the tranquility, the investigation, the energy that's innate in its being. These are not factors that are not already in our being. These are the factors that brought us in the front gate.

[34:00]

This is not some far-out story that great sages in the Himalayas practice and know what else. These are intrinsic in our being. In this great human mystery, that our energy is devoted otherwise, to what annoys us, to what frightens us, to what we desire, to what makes us sad. What makes all that so extraordinarily compelling? present for it as you can and find out.

[35:08]

It's your teacher. It's not your enemy. It's not what blocks the path to awakening. It's what opens the path to awakening. As Dogen Zenji says, this is a transmission that every Buddha and every ancestor and every sage awakens to. This is the request of Zazen. This is the imperative that arises each time we sit. The imperative that arises each time we stand up. And yet, as Yon Man says, a thousand errors, a million mistakes.

[36:26]

The Bodhisattva vow. mind and mind content is unrelenting in its arising. Okay. That's how it is. That's what I'll sit with. Without being trapped in success and failure. Without being trapped in mastering or being defeated. These just confuse and dissipate and distract the vow of intention. So like this.

[37:44]

Like bodhidharmas, don't know. And how's all this going to be for you? How could you possibly know? Will you succeed or fail? Sorry, a question doesn't apply. And yet, we can continually, patiently, compassionately, diligently bring forth this intention. It brings you to the blue dragon's cave, plunging you into deep, unsettling emotions.

[38:57]

When we sit, we open. And guess what comes to visit? The things we've been avoiding. there be the stability, the presence, the compassion to stay with them? And when that's not possible, can there be the diligence, the compassion, and the practice to stay with not being able to stay with it? Either way, basics, the body, the breath, awareness of mind. To not neglect the momentary samadhi.

[40:04]

Be aware you're aware when you're aware. Not to grasp it. Not to flood it with ideas, opinions and stories and judgments. To just let the intrinsic vitality of existence vibrate. Stay thoroughly involved in the basics. This is a very humble practice. We're always beginners. Okay, what's all this about again? That's how we start each period of Zazen.

[41:09]

What am I doing here? Where am I? What is this state of consciousness that I'm so convinced should be called me? Bodhidharmas don't know. Always we return to the basics. And the arisings are endless in their variety. So maybe as you start in the sishin, there's a flurry of energy.

[42:13]

The clamor of the last couple of days. But don't underestimate the diligent practice of the last many months. Let something attend carefully to what has become the body and breath and mind as a consequence of months of practice. Attend carefully, not manufacture with your mind careful attention what has sunk in over the months will assert itself it will reveal itself it will guide your practice and don't worry about

[43:38]

What should happen? If the mind is clamoring, the mind is clamoring. Nothing could be simpler than just this is it. It's beyond concepts. So I hope somewhere in all that you find at least something that will offer you some inspiration or motivation. It's so easy for the mind to become preoccupied, to run down a rabbit hole into some small squirrely way of being.

[45:17]

No offense to squirrels. As Nassim Ahmed says, they're wonderful practitioners. It's so easy to do that. And this delicate but diligent continuous practice. Notice, notice, notice, notice, notice. What's happening now? mind, what preoccupations, what disposition, what body are you bringing to Sushin? So all this, in whatever way, whatever way of describing it or feeling it, that stimulates your intention, that stimulates your motivation.

[46:28]

It reminds you of this subtle, powerful, liberating request of practice. Then as you stimulate that, letting it be expressed in the body, letting it be expressed in the breath, letting it be expressed in the mind consciousness, the three Buddha mudras of being. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving.

[47:22]

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