I vow to taste the truth of the Tathagata's words. Good morning. First, I want to say how profoundly grateful I am to all of you for being here. And how much I feel supported in my practice by all of you and each of you. Yesterday I came home very tired. I was helping my daughter and I got back late and I was really tired. And during the night I was rather wakeful. I think I was rather excited about the beginning of the practice period and the one day sitting. And this morning when the wake-up bell rang, I couldn't imagine how I was going to get out of bed.

[01:03]

Just the most enormous resistance. I was so tired. But I got up and went to the Zen Do and I was so... I can't tell you how restored and refreshed I felt sitting with you in the Zen Do this morning. Once again I was just overcome with appreciation for the practice of Zazen and for practicing with others. The energy and effort of all of you was palpable when I stepped into the Zen Do. And I want to thank you very much. We chanted this morning in service the Fukan Zazengi, Dogen Zenji's universal recommendation for the practice of Zazen.

[02:13]

And I want to quote a little bit from it in case you don't remember it. The way is basically perfect and all-pervading. How could it be contingent upon practice and realization? The Dharma vehicle is free and untrammeled. What need is there for concentrated effort? Indeed the whole body is far beyond the world's dust. Who could believe in a means to brush it clean? It is never apart from one, right where one is. What is the use of going off here and there to practice? And yet, if there is the slightest discrepancy, the way is as distant as heaven from earth. If the least like or dislike arises, the mind is lost in confusion.

[03:21]

So this is what we practice with. That our perfect compassion and non-grasping mind is with us always. Our Buddha mind, our awakened mind, our enlightened nature is never apart from us, wherever we are. There is nothing that is outside of it. And yet, if the least like or dislike arises, the mind is lost in confusion and we think that we are separate from our enlightened nature. We think we are separate from all beings.

[04:31]

And likes and dislikes do rise. And we do think that we are some separate being with an independent existence. And so we get lost in confusion. So our practice is to keep coming back to our fundamental being. To keep seeing our likes and dislikes arise, to keep seeing our mind getting confused and coming back to this body, mind and breath right here. This is the nature of our human existence, that we have nothing to gain, that we have everything we need right here, and yet confusion arises.

[05:35]

And yet we think, it should be like this, I want to be like that. That one over there is certainly not the same as me. Or certainly not, I am not related to that one. So our effort is again and again just to be completely this one that we are. And this practice of sitting meditation is one way, the way that we in this tradition have chosen to come back to our fundamental being and recognize our completeness and our relatedness with all beings.

[06:38]

Again and again. Because our delusion of a separate self arises again and again, we take up this effort again and again. Suzuki Roshi once said, Zen is just making your best effort on each moment forever. So Dogen Zenji says, For San Zen, a quiet room is suitable. Eat and drink moderately. Cast aside all involvements and cease all affairs. Do not think good or bad. Do not administer pros and cons. Cease all the movements of the conscious mind, the gauging of all thoughts and views. Have no designs on becoming a Buddha. If you have designs on becoming a Buddha,

[07:41]

it's because you're imagining that you're not already awakened, that your awakened state is somewhere else out there and you have to get to it. What our effort is, is to settle here and let our awakened state bloom as this one. Do not think good or bad. Do not administer pros and cons. It sounds so simple. I don't know about you, but I find it very difficult. I am administering pros and cons all the time. Cease all the movements of the conscious mind, the gauging of all thoughts and views. Ah!

[08:43]

So in Zazen, we watch our mind. We watch the incredible busyness of our mind and we try to let thoughts come and go. We try not to entertain each thought that arises. Suzuki Roshi once said, you don't have to invite each thought to sit down and have a cup of tea. Again, easier said than done. They're so cute, these thoughts that pop up. And surely, you know, I could dance with this one for a while. And so we do. And when we find, oh, I'm off down the road with this cute thought, we just come back to breath and posture and settle down again. This is why it's making our best effort on each moment forever.

[09:48]

It doesn't stop sometimes. You know, you don't finally get some great mind-boggling enlightenment experience and no further effort is required. I don't think so. I never have seen any of the pretty good teachers whom I've met from time to time put aside effort because they've already arrived somewhere. My last experience of Suzuki Roshi was the enormous effort that he made to put on his robes and come to this Buddha hall to install a successor. It was an incredible effort. It was an overpowering experience. Or Kadagiri Roshi, when he was dying of cancer, and I went to lead a Sashin there because he was too ill to lead it,

[10:53]

coming downstairs each day just to walk around the Zendo Buddha hall to make a little Jundo. And going back up the stairs, and I asked him one day, it was obviously an effort for him to walk, and I asked him, Would you like me to walk up the stairs with you? He said, No, thank you. And he went up the stairs completely erect with what was clearly an enormous effort. And his effort to complete the transmission of the students he had ordained before he died, right up until a few days before he died, his effort was enormous.

[11:55]

So I have not noticed anything against anyone whom I have met as a teacher who has come to a point where no effort is required. The Dalai Lama, who maybe is as developed as anyone around, seems to live his life with great attention and concentration and effort to maintain his life and practice. So I think we should not practice with the thought that, well, we'll finally get there someday and there's no effort required anymore and I can just hang it up. But the effort itself is... that is our vitality, that's our liveliness.

[13:03]

That's how we know we're alive. Because we step forward into our life and make an effort in each moment, this is how our life expresses itself. So I want to appreciate Zazen completely, this sitting meditation, which Dogen Zenji speaks of in Fukan Zazen-gi. The Zazen I speak of is not learning meditation. It is simply the Dharma gate of repose and bliss. The practice realization of totally culminated enlightenment. It is the manifestation of the ultimate reality.

[14:04]

So we just make our effort to get up, come to the zendo, adjust ourselves in our posture, sit without moving, and be who we are. And that in itself is our expression of precepts. And I want to speak about precepts some today because tomorrow there will be a Jukai ceremony, a ceremony of receiving precepts at Green Gulch. Albert Red Tension Anderson will give the precepts to a number of students. And the ceremony is at 3.30 in the afternoon and everyone here is invited.

[15:09]

So I'd like to talk a little about the precepts. And I'd like to begin by quoting Kobunshino Roshi, one of the teachers who came from Japan to help Suzuki Roshi when we first bought Tassahara and came down to help start the monastic practice at Tassahara. And he was here for a few years and went back to Japan and returned and taught in Mountain View, Los Altos, for some time. And he still teaches from time to time here in this area and some in New Mexico. And one of the things he does is he leads a session which he calls Denko-e in the fall. It's... It's about...

[16:18]

Well, I'll tell you how he describes it. He says, the main subject of Denko-e is how to become a transmitter of actual light, life light. Practice takes place to shape your whole ability to reflect the light coming through you and to generate, to regenerate your system so the light increases its power. Each precept is a remark about hard climbing, maybe climbing down. You don't use the precepts for accomplishing your own personality or fulfilling your dream of your highest image. You don't use the precepts in that way. The precepts are the reflected light world of one precept which is Buddha's mind itself, which is the presence of Buddha. Zazen is the first formulation of the accomplishment of Buddha existing.

[17:22]

The more you sense the rareness and value of your own life, the more you realize that how you use it, how you manifest it, is all your responsibility. We face such a big task. So naturally, such a person sits down for a while. It's not an intended action. It's a natural action. The more you sense the rareness and value of your own life, the more you realize that how you use it, how you manifest it, is completely your responsibility. We face such a big task.

[18:25]

Naturally, such a person sits down for a while. Zazen is the first formulation of the accomplishment of Buddha existing. You know, I don't know. I read now things like this and this, and many, many, many things that sort of help me to think about maybe why it is that from the first time I said Zazen, I knew I wanted to sit Zazen, but I've never known why. I've never been able to say why. It just was something that I kept doing.

[19:30]

I kept getting up in the morning and going to the Zen Dojo. I kept arranging my life so that it would be more convenient for me to sit Zazen. It was completely not a conscious choice of mine, but somehow I trusted that in me which kept coming back to sit Zazen. Sitting Zazen was not because it was easy for me. I was in my forties when I began to sit and I had a lot of trouble with pain in my legs and I was very restless and I couldn't sit still and I compared myself to everybody and really was disgusted with myself for moving all the time. I just felt like I'm never going to be able to do this. And indeed, no one is ever able to do Zazen. We just keep trying every day.

[20:33]

I remember when I was one time out at Green Gulch and I was taking a census for the Secretary of Zen Center and I was going around this list asking each resident of Green Gulch how long have you been sitting Zazen? And I went up to one person who had been around by that time for 10 or 15 years and I said, Jerry, how long have you been sitting Zazen? And he said, well, I tried again this morning. And that was a real eye-opener for me. Of course, we just go to the Zen Dojo and sit on our cushion and we try again. So this receiving of precepts is really the gate to Zazen practice. It is the entry to Zazen practice. In the ceremony of receiving precepts

[21:38]

we receive also a lineage paper called a kechimiyaku, called the blood vein of our practice. And there is a lineage paper and it begins with Shakyamuni Buddha and it goes through all of the ancestors through our teacher to us and there is a red line beginning with Buddha, beginning with an empty circle actually, and going through all these names and then through our name and returning this red line to Buddha. This is the blood vein of our practice. This means that the life of the Buddha right now, today, is in the one who is practicing at this moment. That's where the life of the Buddha is. And this blood vein goes through all the ancestors, through the one practicing now and returning to Buddha and is circulating in this way through our lineage as we sit.

[22:39]

And on the kechimiyaku it says a statement at the bottom that on such and such a date, on the full moon night of such and such, at such and such a temple, it was revealed to me by monk so and so, my teacher, this is written at time of transmission of the precepts, that the blood vein of this practice is the precepts. So what are these precepts that are the blood vein of this practice? The blood vein of the Buddha. The first one is taking refuge in Buddha. This taking refuge, what does this mean? This taking refuge is probably the one thing that is most common throughout all Buddhist

[23:42]

schools, cultures, traditions, is taking refuge in the three treasures of Buddhism, Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. Buddha, the mind of awakening, the mind of compassion, our fundamental nature, that which is never apart from us, right where we are. And what is this taking refuge? In English, refuge means to fly back, to return to. The word used in Japanese for the refuge is kie. As I mentioned the other night, kie means to plunge into or to throw yourself in to something without reservation. And the e means to rely on or to return to. So with full enthusiasm and with no holding back we throw ourselves in to the ocean of Buddha.

[24:45]

Like a drop of rain returning to its source. We plunge into Buddha. We, you know, when we receive the precepts in a ceremony like Chukai or in a in an ordination ceremony for priests or in a transmission ceremony which is another receiving of precepts, we sew Buddha's robe. And many of you have done that and you will see some people wearing these rakusus which are small versions of this larger robe. And each person sews his or her own. And with each stitch we take refuge in Buddha. We say either in English I take refuge in Buddha or I like to suggest to people that they say it in Japanese

[25:49]

because I love that wholehearted feeling of this plunging into. Just to plunge into, throw yourself in, don't hold anything back. Be whole and complete in each thing you do. This wholeheartedness is not for the sake of what you're doing, it's for the sake of being wholehearted. This wholehearted effort is its own, this is our vitality, this wholeheartedness. So I like to use namo kie butsu, namo kie ho, namo kie so, which is the Japanese version of I take refuge in Buddha, I take refuge in the Ganga because it reminds me always of this kie, this plunging in as the needle goes into the cloth. Our tradition is that

[26:50]

the Buddha and his disciples made their robes from cast off fabric. Cloth was a very precious commodity in India 2500 years ago and the monks were mendicant and so it's said that they collected fabric that ordinary people considered impure and wouldn't use. There are a whole number of things, fabric that had been, cloth that had been wrapped around corpses and cloth that had been chewed by oxen and cloth that had been used by women for menses. There are quite a number of them that were considered impure and people would discard it even though cloth was so valuable and the monks would take it and wash it and disinfect it with turmeric which gave it this saffron color that was traditional for robes but it was a disinfectant and then sew it together

[27:52]

and make their robes and this pattern in which the pieces are put together is quite old. It's said to begin with Shakyamuni Buddha it's supposed to look like rice fields like rice paddies with raised paths and lower paddies but the pattern is very old because I've been doing this sewing for some time and I've been interested in looking at okesas from monks of very many different Buddhist countries and all of them that I have seen have been sewn in the same pattern so the pattern goes back to before Buddhism spread to Sri Lanka and Burma and Tibet and China and Korea and Japan at least those are the countries where I have seen cases from and they're all in a similar pattern so it is very old and perhaps in fact as our legend says

[28:53]

it goes back to the Buddha himself so it's called a field in the Zen Center of Los Angeles translation of the robe chant it says bountiful field of benefaction a field to benefit all beings we say field far beyond form and emptiness in our robe chant in the morning when we put it on but this robe itself represents our vow our intention our motivation to relieve all beings of misery and we notice in our own practice as we watch

[29:53]

the comings and goings of our thought forms that much of our misery has to do with our state of mind much of our misery has to do with this rising up of preferences of what does it say in Fukunsa the words that he used just to stay with our theme here our likes and dislikes so with this motivation to relieve all beings of misery we wear this robe we take refuge

[30:55]

in Buddha Maizumi Roshi says to take refuge means to be one with Buddha or just be Buddha be who you are this is the first precept it includes all the precepts all of the precepts are an elaboration of this first precept of be Buddha be completely your true self or as Suzuki Roshi says moment after moment making this effort for the benefit of all beings you know I didn't bring a watch and I'm nowhere on a schedule and I can get very loquacious now what time are we yes but what time are we supposed to stop oh

[32:03]

well thank you so I have a poem here which I would like to read and this this comes from a from a lecture that I gave a lecture that Pat Phelan who many of you know gave here two years ago the day before at and this this is a poem by a 17th century Zen monk Geshu receiving the precepts sentient beings are one with Buddhas Buddhas are one with all beings individuals just as they are reveal the unity of Buddhas beings without inside or outside it is wholly manifested at this very moment

[33:04]

in this very place receiving the precepts sentient beings are one with Buddhas Buddhas are one with all beings individuals just as they are revealed the unity of Buddhas and beings without inside or outside it is wholly manifested at this very moment in this very place I think it can only be manifested in this very moment in this very place that's the only only place and only time that anything ever happens is in this moment and this place so the second

[34:25]

of the precepts is to take refuge in Dharma Dharma we sometimes say is the truth of things just as it is in this very moment in this very place sometimes we say the Dharma is the teaching of the Buddha or the way to return to our enlightened nature and the third precept is to take refuge in Sangha in the community of beings with whom you practice or the community of all beings and this taking refuge in Sangha is the theme of this practice period which begins today which many many of you here will be participating in

[35:26]

for the next eleven weeks is taking refuge in Sangha appreciating the great value of having other beings with whom to practice what an encouragement it is what a support it is to have other beings with whom we may practice this practice and to take up as we as we decide to do this practice period to take up some responsibility to each other some accountability to each other which in turn encourages us to practice when I first went down to visit Tassajara we had just we had just

[36:27]

acquired it about a year before and I started to practice at the Berkley Zen Do and I kept hearing people talk about Tassajara I said to Mel who was the the head monk at the Berkley Zen Do I said Mel what's this Tassajara I hear everybody's talking about Tassajara Tassajara what's the big deal what's so great about Tassajara well it was at that time the only residential practice place we had and he said well at Tassajara you know we live together so intimately we live together we sit together we eat together we bathe together in the hot springs we bow together we he says pretty soon everybody can see who you are you can't hide anything you might as well see it yourself because we're so intimate there

[37:28]

and I was very struck by that and and I went down to Tassajara oh I had Zazen instruction on July 3rd I went down to Tassajara in August sometime as a guest student for a few days and I just fell in love with it and as soon as I came home I made arrangements to take ten ten days of vacation to go to the last ten days of the summer period before it closed up for winter practice period and went right back down there and I was just I loved everything about it I mean I also started falling in love with everybody I met down there because I was so in love with the practice so I really decided boy I want to go to Tassajara as soon as I can and I really want to go to Tassajara and I started trying to work things out with my job my kids were still at home and I had a full time job I was the only one with a full time job because my husband had been blacklisted

[38:29]

during the McCarthy period and he was doing the best he could freelance writing and I kept saying well I can't quit this good job until my last kid is out of school and I kept you know wanting to go to Tassajara I'd apply and be accepted and I'd work out you know a leave of absence and then it would fall through and it kept happening and I thought I always thought it was somebody else's fault and I didn't get down there and finally I realized that I really wanted to go but I wasn't really I was a little scared that's a big commitment to Tassajara practice and I wasn't really ready for it I mean I'd never sat a session anyhow I finally calmed down and decided it was not everybody else's conspiracy that was keeping me away from Tassajara and I just wasn't quite ready to make that big a jump into practice and I should just relax and when I was ready I'd go and that's what happened you know finally another one of these times

[39:30]

came when I'd applied and I was accepted and I had a leave of absence and I had arranged and you know and then the leave of absence my boss started reneging on it said something like Blanche it doesn't seem like you want this leave of absence I mean if I wanted a three month leave of absence I'd be in here every night and weekend finishing this project before I went away I was doing a lot of overtime already and suddenly I said you're right I don't want a leave of absence to take a leave of absence I have to come back in December I don't know if I want to come back in December I want to quit and my whole body just relaxed and he looked kind of stunned and I looked kind of stunned and I was driving home what am I going to tell Lou I'm the only one with a job and you know we haven't even talked about this and I got home and I told Lou and he said well thank God I wondered when you were going to do that and I thought really? and I started talking to my youngest daughter who was the only one left home she said oh I want to go out and live with Jerry this year

[40:31]

she's got a room she's got a room for me she's fixed it all up and I want to go live no kidding what happened all of a sudden all you know soon as I was ready to go all of these impediments to my going to Tassajara kind of disappeared so I went down to Tassajara you know and it was hard as much as I wanted to be there and by that time I had been sitting for over three years and I'd said quite a few sessions and I still moved every period but you know I'm getting up early in the morning and so forth well one day I decided I was not going to get up well at Tassajara one of the great advantages is if you don't show up in the Zendo on schedule and you don't send a note or a message the tankman comes down to find out where you are and if you're alright you know

[41:31]

I mean I had somebody tell me in Green Gulch that if she got sick she could go on an unintentional fast for three days no one would ever come and find out what the problem was where she was but at Tassajara the first scheduled event that you don't show up for somebody comes and knocks on the door and says what's going on and if you're sick you know they say well do you need anything so I just decided I wasn't going to get up I wasn't sick I just wasn't going to get up and I was just waiting for this tanken to come and knock on my door and I was going to tell him what I thought about him well I'm lying there just kind of all ready to knock on the door and I say Blanche can I come in are you alright are you going to join us in the Zen dome do you

[42:33]

want any encouragement or not I thought what can you say you didn't give me anything to push against it just immediately reminded me do you want any encouragement to do what it took you three and a half years to get here you had to turn your whole life on its head and now you're finally here what did you come for what do you want to do it was just amazing if you ever have the job of tanken please remember that's all you're doing you're helping people to do what they want to do you're not judging whether people are being good or bad you know it hasn't got anything to do with that it has to do with what are you here for why did you make this huge effort to come here oh yeah now I remember I really wanted to do this okay so I said okay I'll be there it was just sort of like I was really

[43:33]

mad with him because he didn't give me a fight you know and I was ready for a fight but it really helped me to remember what I was doing there and it helped me to remember all the other times that my resistance came up it's not got anything to do about what the tanken will say or what the eno will say or what the tanto will say what am I doing here why am I here anyhow uh this is um this is the great gift of sangha this encouragement and support we have to do what we what we want to do I think maybe there are more precepts

[44:34]

you know there are uh I just got through the first three um maybe I'll just run through the rest of them or maybe you can go to the ceremony tomorrow at Greenbelch and hear them all uh the uh next three are called the pure precepts and they are uh they come from a verse in the dhammapada uh avoid all evil do all good uh purify the mind thus have all the buddhas taught uh the

[45:11]

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