Good morning, everyone. Thank you very much for coming to our Dharma Talk today from Green Gulch Farm. The speaker today is Green Gulch Abiding Abyss Fu Schrader. She's offering incense in the Zendo now, and after she takes her seat, we'll have the opportunity to join in the opening verse, which I've just put in the chat window. A reminder that the live transcription feature is enabled. So if you'd like to see some automated subtitles, you can click on the CC icon and find those. And if you would like to hide them, you're also able to hide them if they're not what you want to see. If you have any questions, feel free to chat me. Thank you again for coming. The talk will begin shortly. Even in a hundred thousand million kalpas, having it to see and listen to, to remember and accept, I vow to taste the truth of the Tathagata's words.

[10:42]

Good morning. Can you hear me okay in the back? Is it all right? Great, thank you. I hope the online guests as well can hear me just fine. How's that sound? Is that still okay? I'm going to begin this morning with a piece of dialogue from a short story written by Russian playwright Anton Chekhov in 1900 from a novella called In the Ravine.

[11:52]

However much evil existed in the world, the night was still calm and beautiful, and there was and always would be truth in God's universe. a truth that was just as calm and beautiful. The whole earth was only waiting to merge with that truth, just as the moonlight blended into the night. Over 20 years ago, I was scheduled to give the talk here at Green Gulch. I had all of my notes prepared for the talk, and I don't really remember what I was going to say, Probably something about the Buddha's teaching, the Buddha's truth. And then on Tuesday morning, the week of the talk, I walked up to my house from the Zendo. My neighbor came running to me to say that the World Trade Center in New York had been hit by airplanes and was collapsing.

[13:00]

It was September 11th of 2001. What I remember most from that morning was a feeling of panic. It set in when I found out that those planes had not been hit by accident, as one might hope. That it was an intentional act of blind hatred and revenge. I hadn't had a panic attack for a good number of years, not since I came to live at the Zen Center. But I talked to my therapist about them and he had reassured me that They only last about 20 minutes. So I told my friend, I need to go into my house. I'll be back in about 20 minutes. And I was. So it's 20 years later and I am scheduled to give a Sunday talk for which I was preparing once again when the news arrived that a powerful nation was attacking and killing

[14:07]

their neighbors to the West. So again, this was not some terrible accident, as we might hope, but it's a violent, well-planned and intentional action that is continuing as we're sitting here. And as I try again to find some way to speak, this time it's not out of a state of panic, but rather out of a state of Deep sadness. An old and enduring sadness. The sadness of nations and tribes and imagined differences of every kind. So when I looked at my notes for today's talk, the one that you won't be hearing, the title was going to be Surrender. As in letting go, releasing, relaxing, or as Dogen Zenji said about his own awakening 600 years ago, dropping body and mind.

[15:16]

So the idea of surrender when faced by a 40 mile long army of tanks takes on a different meaning than I think Dogen had in mind. And although surrender might be the reasonable response, it seems that much of the world is hoping that the people of the Ukraine won't do that, won't surrender, just as the Russians themselves refused to do when faced by Hitler's massive army in 1941. So here I sit again with the challenge of saying something about what I am seeing and feeling right now, hoping in some way to resonate with all of you. and even more so to resonate with the teachings of the Buddha, whose own kingdom was attacked by an army of its neighbors, an army that he too was unable to stop.

[16:24]

I don't remember the words that I said on Sunday of September 16th following the attack on the Twin Towers, but I do remember starting the talk by saying, The cyclops has lost its eye. And so it has again. As if it had more than one eye. As if there were more than one cyclops. And so it seems to be. The eye in Buddha's teaching is an organ, a vision, a vision of wisdom and compassion. An eye that sees suffering. and wishes for beings to be safe and happy. Like the eye of a loving parent for its child or a teacher for their students, a doctor for their patients, an awakened one for everything that lives. So what I want to talk about today is what it means to see with an eye of wisdom.

[17:27]

How to see in the darkness of the night, as Chekhov describes. the calm and beauty of this precious life. Just as the moonlight blends into the darkness, and just as the whole world waits to merge with that truth. The eye which Chekhov describes that sees in the darkness of night is not the eye of the Cyclops, the singular eye which only sees its own benefit. It's the eye of an awakened one, a Buddha. that looks out at the world through the lens of the Bodhisattva vow and the Bodhisattva precepts. So it's been a while since I've talked about the precepts and the vow, so now might be a good time to do that. Many of you have taken the 16 Bodhisattva precepts and sewn Buddha's robe, some as priests, other as lay people.

[18:29]

Same precepts. Same wish to remove the veil from our eyes in order to see that we are truly not separate from anything or anyone else. Just one living body on a rapidly spinning and surprisingly fragile world. World as lover, world as self. The name of Joanna Macy's book. For those of you who have already received the Bodhisattva precepts, you know that the names of the 16 precepts are what altogether make up the Bodhisattva vow, to live for the benefit of all beings. The 16 precepts are the how-to of that vow, how to protect others from harm, including the harm that may be coming from ourselves. The first three of the Bodhisattva precepts are the refuges.

[19:32]

I take refuge, meaning I return to the Buddha. I take refuge. I return to the teaching of the Buddha. I take refuge. I return to the community that is devoted to the practice and study of an awakened life. Returning helps remind us that we can never really leave the site of our own awakening. That very place where each of us is sitting right now. As Dogen Zenji says in the Genjo Koan, here is the place. Here the way unfolds. That place for each of you is the same place where the Buddha sat as he sought relief from suffering. The place of darkness that is always right here. Always right now. Always radiant. Calm. And yet for reasons that are beyond our knowing, reaching back to the very beginnings of life, we are afraid of the darkness out of which we have been born.

[20:42]

We are afraid of not knowing. And this fear is personal and local and for many crippling. We are afraid that we don't belong where we are. And then any moment now we will be cut off. or sent away. And so world round, we living beings find ways to protect ourselves and our loved ones to maximize our share of resources and to erect barriers, sturdy barriers that will keep us safe from them. For humans, this effort to find safety and accumulate resources for ourselves is called world history. From whatever angle we look at our history, there is such sadness and grief. No matter which side is said to have lost or to have won. The Mongols, the Confederates, the English, the Romans, the Greeks, the Spaniards, the Japanese, the Americans, the Russians.

[21:48]

These precepts are offered to the world as a vision of an alternative history. A history... established on a constitution of compassion and protection for everyone. As in the prophetic vision that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. shared with us of a peaceful world that he saw from the top of the mountain on the night before he was assassinated. An intentional act of blind hatred and revenge. The blinded cyclops of white supremacy. Among the Bodhisattva precepts, the three pure precepts offer us a summary of how the world of peaceful abiding envisioned by Dr. King might come to be. I vow to do good. I vow to avoid evil. I vow to live for the benefit of all beings.

[22:51]

These precepts serve as a trellis to hold us up as we undertake the same journey that led to the awakening. of a young prince 2,500 years ago. To that moment when he actually knew that nothing was separate from himself, not the star or the grass or the people walking by. The moment in which the three pure precepts suddenly were keeping themselves. As Zen Master Dogen said, we must come to believe that the Buddha's insight is nothing other than our own mind. the very mind that you and I are having right now and are always having right now. The very mind that is hearing me talk about precepts as a pathway to an awakened life. So I'd like to invite all of you to take a moment to relax into the space where you're sitting, whether on a chair or a cushion

[24:02]

Perhaps you're walking about as some of the people online, guests like to do. Perhaps even driving in your car. Wherever you are, settle into the rhythms that are moving through your body and find your balance right here and right now. And as you do that, begin to notice the many sounds and shapes. and colors that are appearing within your senses. The many sensations coursing through your bodies from the top of your head to the tip of your toes. Excuse me just a moment. Sounds good just for you.

[25:07]

So imagine now that the Buddha's insight, as Dogen said, is nothing other than the experience of your own body and mind right now. If Buddha's insight is nothing other than this very mind, then the next question for all of us is how does someone with the Buddha's insight behave? what would Buddha do? So this is where the Bodhisattva precepts come in, in response to this question of what would Buddha do, how does Buddha behave? These three precepts, as the entirety of the Buddhist moral teaching, are personified as a trio that are commonly seen in East Asian Buddhist temples.

[27:12]

and which you can see in our very own . And the center is Shakyamuni Buddha, representing the purified mind, silence, and still. And on one side, Mahakashapa, the Great Aesthetic, representing do no evil. And on the other side, Srikananda, known as the guardian of the dharma, representing do all good, and as a trio, all together, I'm sorry. You probably started for me. it's our only hope.

[28:17]

Okay. So what I was mentioning now is these three figures, these standing figures. Shakyamuni in the center, the great ascetic Mahagashapa to one side representing do no evil. The Buddha representing a purified mind. And Ananda, sweet Ananda, known as the guardian of the Dharma, representing do all good. And this trio will save all beings. So following the three refuges and the three pure precepts, the Buddha gave us ten grave precepts, which opened outward from the world of darkness and vastness and timeless connection, the world of the ultimate truth, into the world of light. The world of relative truth, where differences appear and where humans have given those differences names, ranks, and authority.

[29:26]

Authority that is always based on the idea of a self, of myself, of yourself, and of how each of us does or doesn't fit into the whole. How we do or don't belong. The ten grave precepts are a reflection of what we together have created out of differences, what we call the news of the human world, a world of right and wrong in which human hearts are often broken. The ten grave precepts, simply put, are not killing, not stealing, not sexualizing, not lying, not intoxicating, not slandering, bragging, hoarding, hating, or disparaging the wisdom and compassion of the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha. Each of these precepts is a view of our human life as if our actions could be divided into parts.

[30:29]

You know, over here is my anger and over there is my lust and somewhere else is my embarrassment at it all. But because we don't really come in parts, Our many actions through the day blend into a single shape of a person. So it's useful to divide ourselves into parts in order to study our behavior in this world, in order to get a better look. The precepts can be divided into sets that help us see which of our behaviors have been activated and how, for example, you hurt me, I hate you, is an activity called thinking. Saying aloud... I hate you is an activity of speech and causing you physical harm because I hate you is an activity of the body. All my ancient twisted karma from beginningless greed, hate and delusion born through body, speech and mind.

[31:31]

I now fully eval meaning I now fully admit, accept, recognize And when I am ready to do so, I fully confess and repent my actions. Although thinking itself is at the root of all harmful actions, it has the least harmful outcome. Fortunately, we cannot read each other's minds. Thinking that turns into speech and then into action, such as we are seeing now, is what leads to the gravest violations of human decency. with names like genocide and warfare, torture, mob violence, enslavement and lynching. And so for today, I'm mainly going to talk about the prohibitory precepts concerned with the activities of our minds, the activities being driven by beginningless greed, hate and delusion.

[32:33]

At the center of Tibetan paintings that illustrate the wheel of birth and death, the 12-fold chain of causation, there are three animals that represent the three poisons for which the prohibitory precepts are the antidotes. These three animals sit at the hub of the wheel, functioning like a perpetual motion machine to keep the wheel spinning in endless rounds of suffering. The three animals are a boar, a rooster, and a snake. The boar is an image of the human mind caught by delusion. the rooster by greed and the snake by hatred. The antidote to the mind of greed is the precept of not being possessive of anything. In other words, by cultivating generosity. The antidote to the mind of hatred is the grave precept of not harboring ill will by cultivating equanimity. And to the mind lost in confusion, the antidote is the boundless Dharma gates of wisdom

[33:37]

which include the grave precepts of cultivating a clear mind by not intoxicating or by not poisoning the mind and body of ourselves or of others. We can think of these precepts as a means of reflecting on our thoughts, which in turn allows us time to make choices about our actions for the benefit of others. Actions of our speech and our bodies that are prohibited by the remaining 10 of the grave precepts for the body not killing, not stealing, not abusing sexuality. For speech, not slandering, not bragging, and not disparaging the three treasures. The Buddha was called a great physician because of how his teachings could be put to very good use in altering the course of our toxic habitual behaviors, much the same way that good medicine can alter the course of a chronic illness. So I would like to invite all of us to consider noticing our thinking during the day as often as we possibly can, especially those thoughts that separate us from others.

[34:48]

Notice how we imagine what others are thinking, especially about us and what we are thinking about them. This is the first step in meeting what comes, which is the first and foremost meeting in what we think. And then questioning those thoughts before they solidify into harmful beliefs, harmful speech, and harmful actions. Before they turn into hate. As the Buddha famously taught about hate in this ancient set of verses called the Dhammapada, what we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday. Our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow. Our life is a creation of our mind. Those who think hateful thoughts will not be free from hate. Those who think not hateful thoughts will be free from hate.

[35:51]

Hate is not conquered by hate. Hate is conquered by not hating. We are here in this world to live in harmony with one another. Those who know this do not fight against each other. The antidote to the poison of hatred, of harboring ill will, is the Bodhisattva practice called Shanti Paramita, meaning the perfection of patience, which, as Master Yunman says, is to sit where all Buddhas sit, in the midst of fierce flames. Many years ago, I shared in a talk my own discoveries about hatred as it has arisen inside of me. I mentioned that I'd had a dream. in which I was standing in a meadow out in the wilderness, a lot like a place where I used to live in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. And in front of me was a cave. And as I stood there, a very large grizzly bear came out of the cave, rose up on its hind legs, and with its enormous claws outstretched, started walking toward me.

[37:06]

For some reason, probably because it was my dream, I was not afraid. I did notice that the bear had a huge splinter embedded in its paw. So I walked forward and reached out my hand. The bear laid its paw on my hand and I quickly pulled out the splinter. The bear then gave a loud roar, as only such bears can do, right into my face. And then she went down on all fours and ambled off back into her cave. So as I was remembering this dream, it became more and more clear at that time, as it is now, that I was quite angry. A very particular kind of anger that is a specialty for many of us is called righteous anger. I'm righteously angry right now toward a man called Putin in a country called Russia.

[38:11]

And yet that dream helped me to see how my own anger, then as now has an obvious source. And that is terrible pain, terrible sadness, a broken heart. In the Buddhist teaching on the three poison, the beings who are depicted in hell are those who are possessed by anger and who are being tormented in all varieties of ways. We even use that name of how to torment another. We call it bear baiting, which like cock fighting, was a horror popular as entertainment in Europe during the Middle Ages, torturing bears. Every one of us here today is sitting in the midst of flames of various kinds and intensity, and yet not a sound, and at times not even the slightest movement. Just like the Buddha sitting there under the Bodhi tree, as he experienced the excruciating assault

[39:14]

by Mara's vast army of pained and angry hell beings. Anger within the safe container of our practice is what enables us over time not to be afraid of ourselves anymore. And learning how to hold still through the practice of sitting, we learn how to wait as long as necessary for the waves of strong feelings to pass, for the mind waves to calm and the dark night To me, this is what is meant by the precept is not harboring ill will, not giving it a place inside of ourselves to hide and to scare not only us, but everyone else as well. Scared away from knowing who we really are, what's hurting us, and what might help to make us better. And there often is a kind help waiting outside the cave, human help. offering safety and encouragement to emerge from those dark places.

[40:18]

And yet, much like the bear, by not thoroughly knowing, experiencing and trusting ourselves with our own anger, our own lust, and our stupidity, we truly are dangerous. Not only making victims of others, the ones that we have declared to be the cause of our negative feelings, but also making victims of ourselves. The experience we know as anger is like a flashing light on the dashboard calling us to stop the car and ask ourselves, what is the practice when I'm feeling angry? That moment of self-reflection makes all the difference between reactivity and responsibility. And in extreme cases, the difference between life and death. Many years ago, I sat in a circle with some men at San Quentin who are part of the Buddha Dharma Sangha, who as teenage boys in almost every case had reacted out of anger and killed someone.

[41:26]

Each of the men in turn gave the name of the person that they had killed, how old they were at the time, and how long they had been in prison. Most of the men were in their fifties or sixties when I sat with them. and would be spending the rest of their lives together, if they were lucky, at San Quentin, which I understand is one of the better places to be incarcerated. They were very polite to each other and to us, mature, thoughtful adults who had missed the one chance for a different outcome to their lives. A hair's breadth deviation will fail to accord with the proper attunement. Upali the barber asked the world-honored one, suppose a bodhisattva breaks a precept out of desire. Another does so out of hatred, and still another does so out of ignorance. World-honored one, which one of the three offenses is the most serious?

[42:29]

The Buddha said, if a bodhisattva continues to break precepts out of desire, for kalpas as numerous as the sands of the Danges, their offense is still minor. If a bodhisattva breaks precepts out of hatred, even just once, their offense is very serious. Why? Because a bodhisattva who breaks precepts out of desire still holds sentient beings in their embrace. Whereas a bodhisattva who breaks precepts out of hatred forsakes sentient beings altogether. A bodhisattva should not be afraid of the passions which help them hold sentient beings in their embrace. but should fear the passions which can cause them to forsake sentient beings. Desire is hard to give up, but it is a subtle fault. Hatred is easy to give up, but it is a serious fault. Ignorance is difficult to give up, and it's a very serious fault.

[43:33]

So for bodhisattvas, the passions such as lust and anger are considered to be fields of blessings. Walking the middle way through that field is called the path of awakening. For those who have taken the bodhisattva vow, there is an ongoing challenge to acknowledge anger as it arises and then to discover quickly what actions we can take that will be beneficial rather than harmful. It's not so easy. And yet, if we have not made the commitment within ourselves to avoid evil, And to do good, we will be very confused when anger arises. We would have no real internalized basis to decide whether expressions of our anger are appropriate or not. And if, on the other hand, we have made this lifelong commitment to live for the benefit of others, the bodhisattva vow, when we witness injustice and cruelty, the light of the precepts can help illuminate an appropriate response.

[44:41]

Patience is the antidote to anger and is also one of the primary conditions for enlightenment. Shanti Paramita. Patience doesn't mean just tolerating your pain, but actually expanding your capacity to experience it. Without either running away from it or wallowing. We are practicing patience when we sit upright, breathing and reminding ourselves to relax. And in doing so, the path to harmful anger. is completely blocked. Tenchan Roshi mentions in his book, Being Upright, that people often say to him, it seems indulgent for us to be sitting around facing our own suffering when there is immeasurably greater suffering in the outside world. There's war and homelessness, torture, starvation, environmental degradation of every kind. His response was that, of course, that's the case. And yet we mustn't use the immense suffering of others as an excuse to avoid awareness of our own.

[45:54]

Admitting and feeling our own pain enables us to listen more carefully and deeply to the suffering of others. And we do hear you, dear brothers and sisters world over, who are running in fear, who are raging in grief, and who are lost in confusion. And we take as our inspiration the most renowned of all listeners, the Bodhisattva of Compassion, Avalokiteshvara, the Regarder of the Cries of the World, in Japanese Kano and Chinese Kuan Yin. Avalokiteshvara first appears among the Mahayana Bodhisattvas as a prominent figure in the Lotus Sutra in the guise of a male. And yet in the Sutra itself, the Buddha tells us that Avalokiteshvara can appear in any form, just as needed, even as a Buddha or a Brahman or a god, as a king or a commoner, an elder, a youth or a maiden, as a dragon, as a Garuda that eats dragons, as a human or anything else that anyone needs.

[46:59]

There are lots of stories about Guanyin, such as this one from a book called The Complete Tale of Guanyin and the Southern Seas. Guan Yin had vowed to never rest until she had freed all sentient beings from the cycle of birth and death. Despite strenuous effort, she realized that there were still many unhappy beings yet to be saved. After struggling to comprehend the needs of so many, her head split into 11 pieces. The Buddha Amitabha, upon seeing her plight, gave her 11 new heads to help her keep her vow. With her new heads, she was now able to hear all of the cries and to comprehend them. But as she reached out to all those in need, her two arms shattered. Once again, Amitabha came to her rescue and bestowed upon her a thousand new arms. And since then, Guanyin has never taken a day off. Yunnan asked Dao Wu, what does the Bodhisattva of Great Compassion do with so many hands and eyes?

[48:07]

Dawu said, it's like someone reaching back for the pillow at night. Yunnan said, I understand. Dawu said, how do you understand? Yunnan said, all over the body is hands and eyes. Dawu said, you said a lot there, but you only got 80%. Yunnan said, well, what about you, elder brother? Dawu said, throughout the body is hands and eyes. I've always thought of Kuan Yin as being the Sangha itself. You know, many eyes and many hands, day and night, responding to the cries from out of our bottomless bow. And so I thank you all very much for being that. deeply exist to every being and place with a true merit of ways.

[49:37]

Beings are numberless. I vow to save them delusions I vow to end them. Dharma gates are boundless. I vow to enter them. Una's way is unsurpassable. I time for questions and comments right now. Caroline will take the stand. Is the mic working? We have people? Great. If anyone online wants to offer a question, please write a chat message to Green Gulch Zendo and someone in the hall.

[50:50]

Can, if there's time, read the question for food too. respond to. You're welcome. If any of you would like to make a comment of your own or ask me something, I'd be happy to respond. I think it's a training to train ourselves to ask that question.

[52:30]

Here's the conditions. Anger is a condition. It's brought about by what's going on or what's preceded, how you've been triggered before, how you were raised, all of the ways that you've been conditioned in this life by the situation you're in right now. So it rises out of conditions, as does lust, as does confusion. So beginningless greed, hate and delusion. So we're training ourselves when these conditions result in anger to ask this question. So here's the anger. What's the practice with these conditions? So that's the training. That's the part that, as you said, isn't automatic. I don't automatically think, oh, what's the practice right now? So that's some way of kind of pausing or cutting through. So you see anger is a trigger. Don't move. That's the first thing. What we practice here is don't move. I'm sure all of us have experienced all kinds of feelings while we're sitting here.

[53:31]

Don't move. And then watch how the mind will turn to a quieter state. Maybe it comes up again. It goes down like waves on the ocean. So on that Caesar high, we want to be very careful, very calm. Don't rock the boat. Stay still. It precedes speech and it precedes action. So first a thought. I actually gave a talk about CBT one time because I thought it was fascinating.

[55:13]

Oh, sorry. Yeah. So Ben's asking about the seemingly contrast, but similarities between Buddhist practice and cognitive behavioral therapy, CBT called CBT. And my response was that I actually had given a talk about CBT because I'd read about it and I took an online course that I thought was really helpful of how to work with habits. various kinds of habits, how to, you know, practice desensitizing yourself to certain things that had become habituated, certain negative behaviors. So I found a lot of resonance with that way of addressing. I don't think it's the only approach. And I don't know the limitations of it. Perhaps you do better. But I was pretty... Yeah, I was pretty happy to see something that seemed very familiar, like mindfulness of your feelings.

[56:14]

Don't move. Watch the thoughts. There's one woman I remember watching in the video. She was afraid to look at anybody. So she'd go outside, but she'd never look at anybody. So he basically said, well, try saying good morning to the first person who comes by. She said, well, I waited until the child came by. And then I said good morning. It was so great. child said, good morning. So she had her first success in breaking what had been a very painful habit for her. So some of these things are quite simple that we'd like to stop. But for us, if we have those behaviors, it can be really debilitating. So I appreciate your bringing up that treatment. Does that answer what you were asking? Yeah. Okay. you can recognize that if oh yes so the question has to do with the difference perhaps between righteous anger and plain old anger about something that you just don't like yeah I'm not so sure that the feeling in my body is particularly different although maybe the righteous anger is more of a slow burn you know it's more like it just I can keep it going kind of like a furnace you know I grew up

[58:23]

during an era of, well, we all are. I was going to say, I grew up during warfare. There's been nothing but warfare my entire life. I was born right after the Second World War, the Korean War, went to college during the Vietnam War. I came to Zen Center because of that, wanting to find a way to deal with my righteous anger because I was so angry at the harm. And again, seeing the pain and the sadness that underlies that anger, crying, being able to cry, Because that's what's underneath that righteous anger. I said, that's not right. That's not fair. That's not kind. So finding a tradition that was all about kind and fair and right, that you could actually work there, you know, as opposed to a lot of what was offered when I was in college was just to get angry and then go scream at people. And that just seemed like the same kind of energy, you know, and no winners. And no winner for me.

[59:24]

I couldn't stand living with that anger in my abdomen. So I was really grateful to come here and find some method for working with my energy, whatever kind of energy, and to find out if there was a better way to channel that energy, you know, to work with. So I did various things, various organizations, various community activities and so on. to find ways to address what I thought wasn't okay. And I think that's what we're called on now too. How can we support changing the course of what's happening right now? We have to have our wits about us. If we're really angry, I feel kind of witless. Just blind rage, blind. It's not so helpful. Thanks for your question. Good morning, Sharon.

[60:42]

So perhaps the Sharon I know. If so, hello. Welcome. No. Yeah, you know, working with anger when people are really angry. I have experienced a couple of times in my life being in the presence of two cases, very, very angry, large body males. And I found myself talking very quietly and soothingly. And one of them who was had had a stroke and was pretty much not in his right mind. and sadly was married to my mother at the time, had become quite violent. And so I was there to try and get something different to happen in the house. And I put my hand on his knee and just kept talking to him like to a baby in a certain way.

[61:45]

And eventually he calmed down. So, you know, sometimes there's restraint. Of course, a lot of the people you deal with are, incarcerated for that reason. They don't know how to restrain their feelings, their violent impulses. So, you know, compassion includes restraint and includes not letting people harm others. It's not good for people to harm other people. It's very bad for them. So we do, we need to stop violent actions and we need to do it as best we can without violence. So, you know, I think we're all trying to figure out how that's done. How does that happen? But also learning if you have people in your care who are somewhat rational and able to receive instruction, all of these mindfulness and meditation practices are extremely beneficial for calming yourself, for bringing your agitated mind into tranquility. So that's what we do here with ourselves and with people of many places who found benefit from that.

[62:52]

So I would suggest... offering meditation and if you need support or help with that of course any of us here who are teachers would be happy to help you with some instruction how to do that so thank you for your question Yeah, so anger is so quick and so fast and so strong. How do I see through it to see the pain that's underneath with compassion? Well, that's again why we practice. We're practicing to get ready for our emotions boiling over, whether it's lust or whether it's anger or confusion. We really have those inborn.

[63:52]

comes with the species. Most species common, you know, aversion and attraction and confusion. So, you know, it's part of how we're made. So part of our practice and what the Buddha discovered and what has been done by yogis for thousands of years is to sit quietly. And I think all of us have found that experience in our lives at various times, whether at the beach, watching the waves or sitting looking into a fire. I think people have always, you know, and maybe perhaps up until modern times, been outside in the dark and looking at the night sky. Very soothing, very calming. So regaining that capacity we have for calming ourselves and noticing those triggers when they arise and reminding ourselves that what we need to do now is to calm down. So calm the mind, step one, and discern what's true. What's real? Step two. So shamatha, tranquility, and vipassana, insight.

[64:54]

So these are training. They're practices. And without that training, I think you're right. It's just reactivity. I'm angry. I yell. I think that's fairly common. People who have major rage issues, they don't have that mechanism of control. They haven't been trained. So training is really important, whether it's you know for our animals or whether it's for our children or ourselves we need training and it's never too late to start doing that so i would just say that it's really helpful before you're angry to practice sitting still with whatever you're feeling and just let yourself settle notice how it changes just by sitting still thank you for your question Sorry, I've forgotten your name. Tabriz, thank you. It does.

[66:34]

Yeah. The question is about how do you come from a place of behaving in a way as if you already knew that your true nature was, I'm kind of paraphrasing you, but was Buddha, basically. You really are an awakened being. You really are here to live for others. And before you know that, before you really know that, how do we work to act that way? Is that fair? So the effort there to behave a certain way versus the effort to actually know what's so. To see reality for how it truly is. Like it might be split. Those might be two different kinds of effort. I think they probably are two different kinds of effort. Because knowing what's really so is called effortless effort. Not messing with things.

[67:36]

Not trying to control. take a hold of the wheel and drive the car, that you're not in charge. That was the talk I was going to give about surrender, about dropping body and mind, letting go of the agency of control and allowing yourself to merge with the darkness, as Chekhov says, to be part of the wholeness or the oneness, to see true reality as the Buddha did when he saw the star was not outside. Nothing's outside of you. This is all you. This is you coming to you right now. So you do see it already, but we get blocked by doubt and by some alternate idea that we have that we've been trained to of being separate and protected. So because we have that training and that belief of being separate and we need to protect ourselves, the precepts are basically a kind of training wheels for us while we're learning to see the world the way it truly is.

[68:37]

So... I vow not to kill you as the other. If I think you're other, I could do it. If I think I can take your things, that's stealing. If I can sexualize you, that's violating the precepts. So each of those precepts is another lens for looking at these behaviors, habitual behaviors that arise from thinking I'm separate. If I'm not separate, if you are me, truly, I would never wish to hurt you, harm you in any way. slander you or you know praise myself at your expense or harbor ill will so the precepts are a natural way that a buddha behaves without having to practice without effort we on the other hand i think are required by virtue of our conditioning to make a great effort for quite some time you know to harmonize ourselves with reality of who we really are so i just say you know We're on the right track.

[69:38]

If you're here, you're on the right track. I think this is a good indication that you've made some choices already about how you want to relate to the world. And the more you hear the teaching and the more you practice the teaching, the more you'll feel that intimacy. Caroline. So Caroline's asking about a broken heart seems to be more like something you'd have access to.

[71:02]

You'd feel that there'd be vulnerability. You would have some sense of like, this really hurt. You'd know it. And that this outer layer of breaking the precepts of indifference to others and others suffering wouldn't be indicative of a broken heart necessarily. Is that pretty close? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think and having noticed my own relationship to how I try not to feel those feelings. I don't want my heart to feel broken. So I love you. You don't love me back. I hate you. So there's a sort of sequence of how the hurt that comes from any kind of rejection for. Yeah. I mean, I don't know what politicians are into at all. I don't know what kind of humans they are, but I have a hunch that the glory of the Soviet Union, which I remember as a kid, is there's kind of a broken heart at the lost empire.

[72:06]

I think sometimes, you know, leaders who identify with their making their nations great again feel like there's something great that was there that is somehow not there, and they're going to make it there. You know, sometimes it's kind of... delusion of I'm going to, you know, like Ozymandias, the king, the great king, whose statues laying in the sand all broken, you know. So there's such a capacity for delusion. The more power and authority you have, I think the more distancing you can imagine yourself being from why you even care. What does even care? What's the big deal here? What's the big passion? There's a passion there. There's a rage. Where's that coming from? I would guess, and others are guessing, it comes from loss of empire. That they kind of gave all these little countries away when the USSR, what you call, collapsed.

[73:08]

So that's like, for us, losing the soccer game or losing the love affair or whatever. There's this personal loss. And when we expand that to group dynamics, it can become a kind of psychosis, mass psychosis. Our nation has lost its glory. So we read that. We hear that. It's kind of banner speech. But if you translate it into a single human, I feel those movements within myself. The protection against my broken heart. And wanting not to do that. Wishing not to protect my heart. wanting to be vulnerable you know that's kind of a big deal that you want to be vulnerable and to cry it's okay to be sad to grieve when it's appropriate to grieve right now so thank you yeah okay a few more minutes

[74:19]

Yeah, thank you, James. James asked about, you know, his own relationship to Ukraine in the past, perhaps as a member of the armed forces. Is that what he said? Assisting the forces in Ukraine and feeling that wanting an outcome, a certain outcome to happen. And then asking, well, would it be best for me just to keep my heart open to what's happening? I think we all are, it's kind of movement between the forces of anger and equanimity and so on. There's no set point for any of us that I'm aware of. The needle on my feelings doesn't stay in any one place for very long. So I think it's good for us to be conscious of what we're thinking. And when our own thoughts are turning to hate, I don't want to hate the Russians.

[75:50]

They used to be the good guys when it was the Germans, and now I don't want to hate the Germans who are now the good guys. It's so crazy how in the course of our own lives, where you're supposed to direct your hatred keeps bouncing around. I don't feel like that's of any help to me in understanding what's going on. I feel more like my relationship to humanity as a whole, like this constitution that would be based on compassion for all beings on earth. We could actually do that. But right now we're still stuck with this old national patriotic, very old and worst of all, atomic weapons. We're all shaking from the possibility of somebody is going to just go too far. And I've been living under that since I was born. That threat. We used to practice for those attacks when I was in school in San Francisco. We'd get under our desks like that would be doing some good.

[76:51]

So I really understand your question, I think, at least from my side. And I feel like you are here. You're here. You're safe. I assume you're safe. And your heart is aching and wanting to do something. And I feel like being part of the sangha, Coming into the conversation, the Sangha is very big right now. Many, many people want peace. So that's the big Sangha. And I think that's where we belong. And I think we'll always belong there. So I welcome you to that Sangha. I welcome all of us to the Sangha that wants peace in this world. Maybe someday that will be possible. Thank you all very much for your kind attention. And thank you very much to everybody online.

[78:03]

Really appreciate your participation here, your coming and your kind attention. In the chat, I'm putting a link if you feel able to make a donation to Zen Center. We really do appreciate and honestly rely on your donations. So anything you can do is much appreciated. And mostly, of course, the practice. Thank you for practicing together. If you'd like to sign off by saying goodbye, you are welcome to do so now. Thanks again and see you next week. Thank you, Fu. Thank you. Thank you all. Take care. Thank you. Thank you.

[78:51]

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