Good morning. Can you hear me? No? The front half can hear and how about that? How about this? Yes, okay. So welcome to Green Gulch on this beautiful fall day. It's so light and sunny it's hard to believe the days are getting shorter. And I have here, Jane is now, she's so, we've just entered a practice period and Jane is now the head monk. So she's sitting up here helping me. Thank you. So if I run out of words, then she'll jump in. So be ready.

[01:03]

So even though it's a sunny day, it gets dark at night. And we are doing this evening, we're anticipating Halloween. And this evening we're doing the Sejiki ceremony. And Halloween was just associations of... ghosts and goblins, various kinds of spirits, also associated with the Dia de los Muertos, associated with our recognition of our mortality, that none of us are going to be here a hundred years from now. some cases sooner.

[02:13]

Used to be the phrase, every hundred years, all new people. It's almost true. There are a few people who live beyond that. So this is something then to take a look at. And then to take a look at how do we not live even while we are alive? How do we fail to receive nourishment and live joyfully while we are here in these bodies? So the ceremony, Seijiki, means it's a ceremony of nourishment, a ceremony of offering food. And we'll have a special altar up here. And then we'll make some ordinary food, literal food, rice.

[03:24]

Rice and vegetables and water to offer. And in offering, we are offering nourishment to what We're offering literal, ordinary food for the body. We're offering some comfort, some recognition, and a spirit of warm-heartedness to the emotions. And we're offering dharma, teaching of wisdom to the spirits. So we come together as a community to do this once a year. And it has a kind of power and a kind of a recognition that the parts of ourselves we don't always address and we don't always welcome or at least welcome on this occasion.

[04:35]

So anyone who wants to stay and come to the ceremony. We're starting at five o'clock? Seems a little early, it should be dark. But that's when we'll do it, five o'clock. So I was driving past the Corte Madera and I saw a sign that said, where the wild things are. So I understand there's a movie out now. Has anyone seen it? Has anyone here seen the movie? Somebody raised a hand back. No, it was a few hands. Okay. So I haven't seen the movie, but I remember the book because I used to read it to my daughter and other children. And as I recall, it was a day that Max

[05:40]

put on his wolf suit. Or wolf pajamas or something. Put on his wolf suit. And in that, he was able to meet the wild things. And it turns out, my feeling is that the wild things are our own, you know, our own inner beings. We create things to scare ourselves. And we create the unknown, actually, to scare ourselves. So when I was a little boy, I remember there was a time that I had the job of, we had a garden in the back of the house, and we just took the kitchen waste, the kitchen scraps back, and kept a little trench going in the garden where we'd

[06:42]

put in the kitchen scraps and then turn a shovel of earth over it. So there was a time, I don't know how, maybe I'm seven years old or something and I have this job of taking out the kitchen scraps and it's dark. And I remember kind of stealing myself, going into the dark. And I kept feeling that out there. There was something scary. Something scary, I don't know what. And I would kind of bravely march out there and put with my bowl, it's kind of an offering, right? Offering this food to the darkness. And offer it to the earth, pour it into the earth. But then I would be scared and I would be really worried and then I would turn around and I would bravely start walking back toward the house and then I'd start running.

[07:54]

And then I would run as fast as I could back to the house and open the door and jump inside where it was light. So I had, nothing ever happened. The monsters that I imagined never caught me. And then as I grew a little older at some point, I realized that these were the creations of my own imagination. And so then I practiced being brave. and walking all the way back to the house without running. And when I could finally do that, I felt very brave and grown up that I could walk back to the house where it was light, back into the known world.

[08:57]

So we have this need for nourishment. at all, say, levels of our being. And we don't know really how to heal our fears, necessarily. I think partly we come together like this to heal our fears. And... Sometimes, and we come to, say, a Zen practice place, looking for some support to face what's difficult. And then we also don't like that support. Sometimes. Sometimes. There's a term...

[10:02]

acidi or acedia, from the Greek, without, from the Greek means without care, without the capacity to care. So it's a term that refers to a listless spiritual state, a state in which it seems that nothing matters. So a kind of a spiritual weariness. And sometimes people get into that. And I think it's also, I was reading someone, Tim Buckley, Tim Buckley just released a book called Standing Ground, which is a book about Yurok, Native American spirituality. And he talks about the women in the tribe who were doctors, and one of the things that they were curing was this state of acedia.

[11:14]

And he said there's a revulsion against any kind of organized structure to manage suffering. At some point, one may realize that any organized structure to manage suffering is false. And so there's a point at which one may realize that this is a kind of a contrivance and becomes really oppressive. So then it's very hard to continue, very hard to sustain and continue say, the discipline or practice that is actually healthy, actually needed. And there's another kind of, say, weariness or sorrow that is tristia or tristicia.

[12:31]

which is really a sorrow for the stupidity of the world. Really recognizing that we human beings make such a mess of things. And to realize that and take it on and realize the depth of that is so painful that it can kind of go through phases of anger. and phases of just wanting to get away from it all. And then kind of despair that everything that human beings touch is contaminated. And acknowledging that we ourselves, that I myself contribute, that I am contributing to making a mess of things. this is hard to bear.

[13:34]

And this kind of sorrow can actually become paralyzing. So knowing this, we sometimes encourage ourselves by doing a ceremony, like the sage-iki ceremony. And we support each other to sit zazen completely Realizing that if you completely and thoroughly check out the practice of zazen, that all of the ills of the world are cured. They're cured by the wisdom that sees right through them. So sitting zazen completely is not so easy to do. It's more usual for people to sit as in hoping for some improvement, right?

[14:43]

Hoping for some improvement, which is quite natural, and it motivates people for a while, motivates us. Okay, if I sit through this, there's an idea where if I sit through this, I remember some years ago, I was continuing my practice after I had moved from Zen Center, but I went back to some event at Zen Center in the city, and I was having a conversation with Reb Tenshin Anderson, And he was asking me how I was doing, and I was saying that I was looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. Looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. And he said, what about the tunnel?

[15:51]

That was kind of the end of our conversation. I wasn't so happy. But I realized that he was pointing me back as we Zen teachers do, pointing back to right now. This Zen, the reality of this Dharma life is right now. Appreciating the tunnel, appreciating being in the tunnel, So sometimes the tunnel feels very constricted. We used to call the Seijiki ceremony the Seigaki ceremony. Seigaki, feeding the hungry ghosts. Gaki, a word in Japanese for hungry ghosts.

[16:57]

In one view of cosmology, there are different states for beings to dwell in. And one dwelling place which is really very difficult to abide is the place of hungry ghosts. Hungry ghosts are pictured as being kind of bloated bellies and very tiny, tiny, thin necks and a mouth, very small, like the eye of a needle. And so there's a tremendous hunger and there's a tremendous difficulty in receiving nourishment. So many of us maybe are walking around like that. in some form, not able to appreciate the experience right now that is nourishing and supporting this life, this moment, this life, this moment as a gift.

[18:17]

So this ceremony of feeding the gaki, the ghosts, is an invitation to this ghost-like constricted being to relax that constriction, to feel enough trust to open up and receive nourishment. So in order to do this, we create a special atmosphere to support that. Now, what happened was that the term gaki became used, and I guess it's currently in Japan, used as a pejorative reference to people on the street, homeless people, outcast people. So we stopped using it as the title of our ceremony. But we still are considering how to invite people.

[19:23]

the constricted beings, to receive nourishment. So ordinary food is an important part of Buddhist practice. In the Eightfold Path, the Buddha talks about right livelihood. And earlier this week, seems like a while ago, but this week, on Wednesday night, we had Dr. A.T. Ariadne here, He spoke about the Sarvodhya movement in Sri Lanka. He was raised as a Buddhist in Sri Lanka. And as a school teacher, he realized that there were many people in villages in Sri Lanka who were suffering from not having basic nourishment, not having clean water. And so he got together with some other school teachers. And they thought that they wanted to offer Buddhist practice at all levels of nourishment, including clean water and human warmth and Dharma teaching.

[20:48]

And so the Sarvodhya movement, Sarvodhya means Awakening for all. Awakening for all. So Buddha, the Buddha means to awaken. So they started just in one village, arranging to go and dig some wells for people. And so they were hand-digging these wells and realized that the nourishment of the practice of work was something that everyone participated in the people who went to the village to offer their labor found themselves being nourished by offering their labor found themselves being nourished by offering their own open heartedness and found themselves being nourished by studying the Dharma teaching and offering the Dharma so this was a

[21:54]

a very happy experience for them. So then they started going from village to village. So this started in the 50s, and now they have this organization which has some activity in 15,000 villages in Sri Lanka. And the Sarvodhya movement actually is the best organized, I think, to provide services for people. So, you know, when they had the tsunami a few years ago, which hit Sri Lanka very, very hard, they were the ones who were able to respond and are still, you know, working to recover from that. And then also there's been a civil war going on in Sri Lanka for 30 years. the Thirty Years' War, which just ended violently early this year.

[23:00]

I just learned some of this from Dr. Ariadne a few days ago. But now there are 300,000 or so newly displaced people from the conflict, from the Civil War in Sri Lanka. So they're having a very difficult time. And at the same time, there is this response of bringing the notion of awakening for all down to earth, offering food, offering education, and offering teaching. I just want to mention one other thing that for those of you who were here on Wednesday night, this is just a repeat of what you've heard.

[24:04]

But he mentioned that when he received, he received the Gandhi Award, which is from the National Award in India. And he received this Gandhi Award, which has some sum of money. I don't know how much. But he said when he received the money, he felt, oh, this is dangerous, this big check. like a snake. How do I handle it, you know? So for a moment maybe he felt a little greedy. And he realized, no, he didn't want to do some, what he wanted to do was to put this check into service. And so he and his wife created a center in Sri Lanka, particularly for pregnant women to come with their with their spouses and receive education and prenatal care. And for the fathers to be taught to sing lullabies to the baby before it's born, so that when the baby is born, it can recognize the voice of the father.

[25:17]

And so I think that he said they have a capacity for about 50 at a time. And so many of these babies are being happily born with this kind of support and this kind of nourishment. So I think his understanding is very important that this offering of nourishment is from before birth all the way through life and old age. So let's see, I have a teaching from Rumi, if I can find it. So Rumi, this is a poem that has sunlight

[26:29]

and it has discipline in it. In the early morning hour just before dawn, lover and beloved awake and take a drink of water. Lover asks, do you love me or yourself more? Really, tell the absolute truth. Beloved responds, There's nothing left of me. I'm like a ruby held up to the sunrise. Is it still a stone or a world made of redness? It has no resistance to sunlight. This is how Halaj said, I am God and told the truth. The ruby and the sunrise are one. Be courageous and discipline yourself.

[27:34]

Completely become hearing and ear and wear this sunrise ruby as an earring. Work, keep digging your well. Don't think about getting off from work. Watcher is there somewhere. Submit to a daily practice. Your loyalty to that is a ring on the door. Keep knocking and the joy inside will eventually open a window. Look out. See who's there. So I'm thinking of, you know, this effort where Rumi's saying, loyalty to your daily discipline, to your daily practice, is this tapping on the door, a ring on the door.

[28:40]

So when going through the tunnel, you may think, oh, the end of the tunnel is way there, way off there. But the door is right here. right in the wall of the tunnel, right in the immediate experience. So this practice of tapping, I'd say tapping, at the door is the refinement of awareness right in your immediate experience. The sunlight or the ruby or the stone Is it a stone? Is it a rock? Is it a barrier? Tapping it is how you discover your life. And you may receive nourishment from what seems like an obstruction. So Rumi says, the ruby and the sunrise are one.

[29:52]

Be courageous and discipline yourself. work, keep digging your well. Keep knocking. And don't think about getting off from work. Some people come up and say, I've been practicing for 10 years, and I'm still, you know, Not joyful. Oh, that's really hard. This is very difficult, you know. I see people moving around. Is it time I should stop already? Please sit comfortably.

[30:56]

Yeah. So I think this is a good practice for individuals to take up. To notice the thought, oh, this is too hard. This is too difficult. This is not what I signed up for. This thought of, oh, I signed up for a different life. And then maybe looking around saying, that person, they have it easy. How do I get into their life? But then if you go and ask them, how was your life? Oh, I'm having a hard time. Sometimes you don't know, often don't know. I had a time, My cousin's son, so I guess my second cousin, committed suicide a while ago at age 16.

[32:05]

And up until then, people thought, what? He's so lucky. He's really smart. He's talented. Everybody likes him. Very popular. But what was going on inside? Some deep pain that he felt he could not stand. So the karma of that now is right here. I'm mentioning it. And then his aunt, not his mother, but another cousin called me just recently and said, his sister, this boy's sister, having a very difficult time, can't get over the death of her brother. very deeply involved in drugs, alcohol. And so this is some way in which if we don't realize that we can receive nourishment, then we cover it up.

[33:17]

Try to mask it or numb it. So it's so hard to sit zazen when there's a lot of pain. It's so hard to sit zazen when you're heartaches. But that's really what zazen is for. Zazen is to completely be willing to not turn away from the reality of life. And the reality of life is such that it can't be grasped. And everything that we do grasp we eventually know is creating karma, creating suffering. Creating suffering in the sense that it's creating separation, that life is so close, so intimate. By trying to grab it, we actually created division in ourselves.

[34:21]

And often what we are grasping is something that is not exactly just our own, but something that others have given. Beliefs and ideas that have been, say, offered or imposed or taught or we pick up as some kind of propaganda. And we've, at some level or another, taken it on and believe it. We need a way of purifying. So I want to read a poem of William Stafford's. Bill Stafford, I feel some, partly I feel some connection to, because although he was a somewhat older generation, he grew up in Kansas, not far from where I grew up. And he... was also a pacifist, finding a way to be non-violent in a violent world.

[35:33]

So he wrote this book to encourage us, and he wrote many poems to encourage us, and this poem is called A Ritual to Read to Each Other. And so some of you have heard me talk for Every few years I read this. A ritual to read to each other. If you don't know the kind of person I am, and I don't know the kind of person you are, a pattern that others made may prevail in the world, and following the wrong God home, we may miss our star. For there is many a small betrayal in the mind, a shrug that lets the fragile sequence break, sending with shouts the horrible errors of childhood storming out to play through the broken dyke.

[36:39]

And as elephants parade, holding each elephant's tail, but if one wanders, the circus won't find the park I call it cruel, and maybe the root of all cruelty to know what occurs, but not recognize the fact. And so I appeal to a voice, to something shadowy, a remote, important region in all who talk. Though we could fool each other, we should consider lest the parade of our mutual life get lost in the dark. For it is important that awake people be awake, or a breaking line may discourage them back to sleep. The signals we give, yes or no, or maybe, should be clear.

[37:45]

The darkness around us is deep. giving clear signals. Otherwise, some karmic pattern, some karmic pattern that others made can be somewhat carelessly or unconsciously adopted. Sometimes people find that they have to come to terms with their life at some point. And I think Shakyamuni Buddha, the one who became known as Shakyamuni Buddha, found in his 20s and maybe late 20s, we say when he was 29 years old, he left the household, the palace where he'd been raised.

[38:53]

I think he was coming to terms with the the patterns that had been imposed on him. The legacy of his father's plan for his life, which didn't really fit. So I think each of us needs to investigate carefully what habitual patterns, maybe karmic legacy, we have adopted. So sitting zazen is a practice that opens eventually eventually opens to seeing and feeling in the body how one carries the say karmic legacy the patterns that others made and that one is tempted to believe and maybe believes

[40:01]

but believes in completely because underneath one knows that something else is really true. And that sense of some intuition of something that is more deeply true must be met in order to receive the nourishment that I'd say is Dharma nourishment, the nourishment of true enlightened living. So it's good to have nourishment at all levels. It's good to have nourishment at the beginning of practice. Taking on what may seem like something maybe arbitrary in a form. Taking on the practice of associating with good people. Even if you don't like them. Coming to

[41:03]

this kind of a gathering with the sangha or taking up residence as some of us are doing or have done in a temple or in a monastery for a while, maybe for a while, you know, five years, 10 years, knowing, well, these are good people, even though they really, really irritate me. And if they're good people, why don't they actually behave more nicely, right? And why don't they just shower me with love? So this kind of practice is good in the middle. And then at some point, making the determination that no matter what arises in the field of awareness, one will not turn away from it. That kind of determination then is what carries you through to the completion of realizing that all of the problems, all the problems in life are created by one's own mind.

[42:26]

And then you're willing to see through them all and not get, say, displaced. disoriented, confused, and you're willing to be right where you are, even if it's in the middle of the tunnel, and any desire to be someplace else is seen as, oh, that's just a desire that can cause more trouble. Let me take care of what's right here. So I invite you to take care of your life right where you are and to help the person next to you. And to help them means you have to actually pay attention to what they really need, not what you think they need, not what you think would make them more comfortable to be with for you.

[43:31]

So listening carefully to, you know, what they really need, helps you see your own desire. And when that's not in the way, then you can see how to help. Thank you for listening.

[43:54]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_97.71