Come here in the summer and teach different kinds of workshops. And each workshop weaves its own world. It weaves its own magic. And the workshop, I'm in the throes of co-teaching with my dear friend Bruce, Bruce Wilson. is on the Dharma of money. You know, money is a very interesting notion, a shared convention that each of us has our unique personal mythology around, and then we have something of a shared convention as to what it's worth and what you can do with it and how it can play is how it can affect our social exchange.

[02:34]

I remember once I met a minister, and he was very interesting. He was a minister, and he was also a financial advisor to the Rothschilds. And in case you don't know, the Rothschilds have a lot of money. And he said to me, money is God in action. I don't know what that means, but I thought it was a wonderful phrase. It sort of took all sorts of prejudices and assumptions I had and opened them up, turned them on their head, and set the stage for something new. And to that extent, very similar to what Zen practice tries to do. It's not trying to tell us what we should think, what we should not think, what we should do, what we shouldn't do.

[03:41]

It's trying to wake us up. It's trying to have us become aware of the fixed assumptions, presumptions, maybe even conventions that we adhere to. And the marvelous thing about money is we agree that it's somewhat magical, powerful, almost sacred. For those of us who are a little older, we remember when there were things such as banks. And banks were always... Banks were always big, cathedral-like buildings. It was a little like going into church. It was a lot of marble. There was a lot of space. And you should sort of behave yourself. You shouldn't whistle or talk lightly. You should walk in hushed tones up to a teller and say, could I make a withdrawal?

[04:49]

So how to have the audacity to take something so mysterious? Does anybody in the world understand the financial system that operates currently? I read an article three weeks ago in the New York Times, so it must be true. And they said that they had come across this wonderful scheme where Right next to the exchange, someone had set up super fast computers, and they could do a transaction in a third of a second. So try blinking really fast, that's a third of a second. And because it could do these transactions at super speed, it could track anomalies in the market and skim off very quickly. quicker than a blue jay can snap your cookie from your hand and that's quick so you have derivatives of derivatives and all sorts of acronyms for something but the heart of being of life it's not

[06:27]

to just shrug your shoulders and say, oh well, I guess I'm just powerless, impotent, and just have to suffer the burden of this inconceivable existence. The audacity of practice is to say, that may be so. I will stand upright with open eyes and open heart and walk into that world awake, meeting each thing and discovering in that moment how to be part of it, how to work with it, and how to discover liberation, beauty, how to help others. and in the process discover how to be happy and content.

[07:31]

So this workshop is to ask ourselves, does money have any role in any of that? Should we be like Shakyamuni and just toss it off the bridge and go into the forest with our begging bowl? Okay, in case you didn't hear, the answer is yes, according to Michaela. We could do that. And I would say, as a little footnote, we certainly shouldn't be presumptuous enough to either exalt as sacred gods those who do or condemn those who don't. or even condemn those who do as misguided, old-fashioned, and trying to escape from life. Each of us has the burden and the majestic opportunity to create the path that we walk.

[08:40]

So, how? How do we enter this world, material world? that has become fierce and powerful, complex, all-pervasive? How do we enter this material world skillfully, upholding the values that are in our heart, the values that quicken our life's work, the values that inspire us? that when we see them displayed, something in us releases, relaxes, softens, opens, and says, so it is, so it is. How do we do that? We do it in two ways. We go down and we go up. We go down into the depth of our being.

[09:53]

You know, we go down into what's fundamental about human life. We go down into what stirs for us underneath our preoccupations, our agitations, the things we want to be annoyed about or desperately yearn for. We go down to something more authentic about being alive. We go up. We want to enjoy. We want to engage. We want to be part of. We want to manifest that within us which is noble, which is courageous, which is generous, which is kind. We want to live that truth. We want to live that beauty, that courage. Sometimes it seems to us like, well, this is an either-or.

[10:56]

Either I can go to Tassajara in the dead of winter and sit and become still and become quiet. And as Miri Oliver says, in a silence in which another voice may speak. Or we can go right into the world. and bring to it our efforts, our life's energy, and express ourselves fully. And how do we do that in a complex world? And I would say something like this. We touch deeply what's important, and we bring it up, and we bring it out, and we live it. And of course, We do it, we touch it imperfectly, limitedly, and we express it imperfectly, limitedly.

[12:04]

We do both with beginner's mind. We do both as an exercise in learning, in discovery, and an exercise in humble expression. Here's my offering. It's not perfect. but it's what I got. How do we go down? We go down in two ways. We go down through wisdom, we go down through compassion. We go down through the wisdom that everything is constructed, everything that comes into being goes out of being. We go down through compassion. We deeply want to live.

[13:06]

There's something in the impermanence, in the uncertainty, there's something in the vulnerable fragility of human life that touches our heart. We need each other's support. Something in us deeply cares about life, deeply wishes to love and be alive. Our compassion, our caring draws us deep, connects us to the deeper workings of the human heart. Our wisdom draws us into a wonder, an acceptance. Everything's changing. Every day creates its own world.

[14:08]

Presumptions are just a way to go to sleep, are just a way to go into a dream and not notice the miracle of the moment. So in this workshop, we started with an exercise. And the participants in the workshop, who are now fully versed in everything I'm saying, have fully accomplished it and perfected it, will now demonstrate with ease and skill, what it is to be such a person. Okay, that's got them worried. Okay, and I wasn't thoughtful enough to bring the poem, but I will, I know many of you know it, and I will give you a summary for those who don't.

[15:18]

It's a beautiful poem by Mary Valar. it's about what are our images of impermanence what [...] is this life about when this life she says in talking about what she wants to say at the conclusion of this life he says I want to be I want to say I was a bride married to amazement. I was a bridegroom who took the world in his arms. I don't want to say. I wondered if I had really lived. I don't want to find myself full of argument and regrets. So this kind of reflection

[16:20]

this kind of engagement on the great matter of birth and death. That was what we subjected the unsuspecting participants in this workshop to. But amazingly, they rose to the occasion and crafted their own response. in sweet rebellion to the limitations of life and death. So we did a writing exercise. Write out your own poetic history, your own poetic expression. I want to say, and when I die, I want to say, to say I've accomplished all I've wanted to accomplish.

[17:22]

When it's over, I want to say I have loved passionately and compassionately. When it's over, I want to say that I live life to the full, not vicariously. I fill the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds. No. I want to say I didn't hold back. When it's over, I want to say I have no regrets. All my bad experiences were positives. When it's over, I want to say I've worked various and inspired others to do the same. Don't be afraid, make risks, and show that what seems impossible When it's over, I want to say, I have not held back. I am free to choose. When it's over, I want to say, I try to show the world there is beauty.

[18:32]

There is beauty. When it's over, I want to say, it was a good life. I have given to others and helped them on their way. But I have lived the hero's journey. When it's over, I want to say, I should know how to love and fear. When it's over, I want to say, I didn't miss love. When it's over, I want to say that I was able to stand on my actions as my only true possession and forsake one without showing me love. When it's over, I want to say, I have traveled through this life with great satisfaction, experiencing all I can be and all I have been. When it's over, I want to say, I'm not in love and was surrounded by loved ones, and felt as ridiculous as a smiling face, trees and mountains that make the rich, colorful, beautiful eyes.

[19:46]

When it's over, I want to say, I've been a wonderful father to my children, a source of inspiration and mentorship and nurture together. And then the flip side. Sometimes we discover our truth by saying, this is what I want to be. Sometimes we discover our truth by saying, this is what I don't want to be. I treated people poorly. When it's over, I don't want to say that I feel bitter and twisted and it was a life of missed opportunity. When it's over, I don't want

[20:55]

When it's over, I don't want to say I was egocentric, egoist, or jealous. When it's over, I don't want to say When it's over, I don't want to say that I haven't left the world a better place. When it's over, I don't. When it's over, I don't want to say I did all the wrong things.

[22:01]

When it's over, I don't want to say that really escaped me, and I didn't fully express it with my life, my creativity, my person, or my demeanor. The amazing thing that when we start to dig deep, even though we've all had our own unique experiences affected by so many influences in our unique life the amazing thing is that when we dig deep we're not so different we're not so different in what we want to say and what we don't want to say we're not so different in what we consider to be the core values and aspirations of our life we're not so different in the sentiments that we engage them with

[23:20]

We want to ask of ourselves that courage. We want to ask of ourselves that integrity. We want to ask of ourselves that daring do, that willingness to engage from the place of vow, intention. We want to stay the course. How do we do that? Within the alchemy of practice, we say something like this. We let that vow, we let that deep-seated, heartfelt way of being, and the vow it creates, we let that sink into our bones. We let that sink into our marrow. We let that sink into our gut.

[24:23]

Not so much that then it prescribes every action of our life. The closer we get to those core values, the more adaptable they are situation by situation. Kindness doesn't need a certain set of particular conditions to express itself. You can be kind to every person you meet, no matter what the situation, no matter who the person. And yet, we don't live in an abstract world. We don't live in the concept. We live in the particular. And within the realm of the particular, we're asked to bring a skillfulness, you know, an awesome skillfulness.

[25:30]

We're asked to discover how to be a body, how to keep a body healthy, how to nourish it well, how to exercise it well. We're asked to relate and be in relationships. How to do that, how to listen, how to love, how to participate and be intimate, how to do that with one person, how to do that with a small group, how to do that with the community, with the society. How to identify in this complex, challenging world the forces and influences that operate. And this brings us back to money. But now, we look at the mythologies.

[26:39]

There's never enough. Really? Time is money. Really? The more money you have, the happier you'll be. Really? The more money you have, somehow or another, it means you're a better person. And if you don't have any money, if you're in poverty, you're kind of a bad person. Really? The more money you have, the more you'll be able to do All the things that make you happy, make life fulfilling, have other people love you. Really? What shall we trust?

[27:49]

Where shall we place our truth? What shall we make the foundation of how we enter the world? Our core values are some mysterious, not too well articulated sensibilities that have rattled through our lives in some unintentional way, often expressing something different. than courage, something different than kindness, something different from integrity, something different from a commitment to live from vow and intention. With these live voices rattling through the world, and rattling through our heads and through our hearts?

[28:56]

How will we hear these other voices that speak a deep truth beyond the particulars that we're in in a particular situation? What one of us could say 10 years ago, I knew 10 years from now, I'd be sitting in the dining room at Tassajara, listen to some weird guy, give a weird talk about money. We just don't know what's next. What can we do except discover how to live by vow, how to live by integrity, kindness, courage? and how to enter this world not from a place of mastery, but not from a place of fear, not from a place of desperate outcome.

[30:10]

If it doesn't turn out like this, I don't know what I'm going to do. But not from a place of hopelessness. It's never going to work. I'm not even going to try. to enter this world willing to learn, willing to engage. Money, bring it on. It's just an energy. It's just an idea. It's just this wind that blows through our collective life. Sometimes it raises up the dust. But it's asking us, like all the forces in life, like all the attributes in life, is how with these hands can it be held skillfully?

[31:14]

How with these eyes can it be seen for what it is? How with this heart can it be related to in a way that promotes our common good? These are the questions. Not to say there isn't something powerful, formative, and educational about stepping back from money, but not to step back from money as an expression of defeat. or a way to avoid the difficult, but to step back as an act of courage, as an act of learning, and then to step forward into the activity of life, into the particularity of life, to gauge our life in a way where we see how to use a tool.

[32:24]

not so different from all the other tools of life. Technology, education, knowledge, community. These are the building blocks of the world, asking us to engage them skillfully. There's an old Indian story that goes something like this. Three bricklayers are working on a job. It's... Ahsoka, the great Buddhist king of India, has decided to build the biggest library in the world. And these three stone masons have been asked to work on it. The first one approaches the job and he looks at it and he says, this is enormous. This is going to take forever. I am going to be laboring and laboring and laboring and laboring.

[33:30]

Oh my God. The second one looks at it and he says, this is a job that I'll get paid for. I will receive the money that will feed my family. This will provide a steady income. My children will be fed for years. The third one looks at it and says, this will be the greatest library that ever existed. It will last for millennia, and I get to be part of it. I, in my way, can make a contribution. We have within Buddhism This wonderful notion, the Bodhisattva enters the world with bliss-bestowing hands. What is it to do such a thing? What is it to take our hands and take into our hands the stuff of the world?

[34:42]

How do we do that? I'm going to stop in a moment to hear your comments and all of this, but I want to add one personal opinion. It's like this. Not that all the others weren't, but I hope they had something to do with Zen and Buddhism. My personal opinion is something like this. I think one of the big challenges of our time is disempowerment. This world is so enormous and so complex, I am irrelevant. The forces that operate within it, forces, international conglomerates, multinational corporations,

[35:50]

special interests, complexities of finance. The forces are so awesomely large, sometimes so awesomely wrongheaded and wronghearted. What can I do? Nothing. I am just me. I'm not powerful. I don't have a trillion dollars. I figured out in one of the exercises today that I would like, Bruce was saying, you can have as much money as you wanted. And I figured out I wanted one trillion and 18 billion a year. So if any of you

[36:54]

has any extra trillion dollars, I have a good use you could put them to. So in the meantime, shall I just lie down and weep? Retreat into self-centered? Well, as long as I'm okay, So what? I'll be okay. And I think one of the burdens of our age is this kind of disempowerment. And this disempowerment, it tarnishes the nobility of the human spirit. It tarnishes our intrinsic wisdom. It dulls the luster.

[37:56]

of our kindness and courage, we begin to doubt that there's nothing more magnificent than walking into the world with bliss-bestowing hands. Let's face it, We all know our vow. This is impossible. I vow to do it. I mean, we say that right up front. Delusions are inexhaustible. I vow to practice with them. If the world was perfect, it would be boring. If everything was already totally figured out and worked out to perfection, gosh, Some kind of recklessness.

[39:07]

Someone told me recently that they read Don Quixote every year. That we enter this world with daring do. we're so special and powerful and wonderful and we know everything, but because really it's what life's about. That it's great fun. It's great fun to live our truth. It's exciting to look at the world and say, how can I help? Okay. So, any comments? Yes. That hand went up quick.

[40:28]

Obviously, he was a person, probably, much more aligned to the holy life that I am. And he still felt that he had to move away from everything in order to do it. Otherwise, it was just going to be costly, you know, maybe. I don't know. It's such a challenge, because I feel like he's umptuous thinking that I could go out and have a job, do all these things, and still lead that holy life to any extent that even, you know, people would resonate with me when But all the people I look at, all the great examples, they completely abandoned the world. They didn't say, oh, you can be bold. Mm-hmm. [...] It's a good point.

[41:37]

However, the very same person was known to say, was heard to say, please, be a lamp unto yourself. Meaning, I did it my way. This is what worked for me. I did this deep inner work. I gave everything I could to it. And I came up with the way that was deeply resonant for me. But please, be a lamp unto yourself. So I would say, for each of us, to engage in that way. And the answer that comes up is the answer that comes up. You could say, oh, here I am.

[42:39]

One of the marvelous things about Tassahara is that summer and winter, light and dark, sitting still, being active. Some part of me wishes that the whole world could live with Tassahara. I really do. I don't know how to make that so. But something about taking Tassahara and bringing it to the whole world, offering it to the whole world, letting the spirit of it flow in so many varieties of ways into this world. That's what makes sense to me. That's what gets me out of bed.

[43:44]

That's what kind of keeps me interested, even when I feel frustrated and confused. it's still great fun so I would say to you find your way and I would say I would add to that I think this is the tradition of our ancestors I don't think they were saying you should do exactly what I did I think they were saying you should look deeply and if you end up doing exactly what we did great But maybe the person who can't afford to feed their child, or who has the ability to deal with that compromise that they may have to go through or to feed their child, is the bill master of luck.

[45:02]

The real master of money. Meaning what? Meaning that this person may have to perform an adult princess where they hang out and think it's ethical. But they realize that it's ethical to be their child. And they need to make that money in order to survive or to get sustenance to the family. this answer might sound a little harsh you know I appreciate the anguish of compromise I actually think every human life has compromised in one way or another and I don't think the nobility of a human spirit comes from the compromise I think the nobility of the human spirit comes from

[46:05]

finding within the compromise, the limitations of a conditioned existence, finding within that a way to fully express and engage the nobility of the human spirit. Now, if we're saying that this mother or this father stays fully engaged in their kindness and integrity as they do what they do, then I would agree with you. We should bow to this person. We should bow to their nobility. And my fear is that often this compromise wounds. That this compromise lays a heavy burden. that we should offer our compassion, our support.

[47:19]

But thank you. I appreciate your words and your sentiments. the question yes abiding by the system yeah it's very interesting you know all the systems set up by human beings you know I don't think anyone ever sat out, maybe they did, but I don't think anyone ever sat out thinking, I'm going to create a lousy system by which I'm going to suffer, other people are going to suffer, none of us are going to benefit, and that it's going to be a big screw-up.

[48:36]

I think one guy, two farmers, you know, one brought one eggs and one brought the other one a loaf of bread, and they said, you know, if we wouldn't have to do, you know, it would be a whole lot easier if we'd, like, exchange tokens, you know, we could put them in our pockets and we wouldn't have to carry the eggs and get some of them broken. You know, the challenge for us is we keep bringing our confusion our greed and our aversion to the systems we create. And when those run rampant and dictate how the system's engaged, something very strange happens. And money is the root of all evil. I would say

[49:40]

The misuse of money, money as an agent of confusion, of greed, aversion, is an agent of suffering. Money as an agent of distributing nourishment, food, water, cleaner, education, art. I think that kind of money is beneficial. How can any one of us engage that system knowing, as we do from our vow, that delusions are inexhaustible? I think it asks us to keep our eyes open. It asks us to be pretty savvy about what we're doing. I think there's something in between saying, everything's just fine, and money is the root of all evil.

[50:58]

There's something in between that we are asked to keep discovering. This is the heritage of Zen. We got into this when Bai Zhang said, Let's grow some of our own vegetables. No. You should blame him for this. Bai Shan was a Chinese teacher, and up until then, Buddhism had run completely on the mendicant system where all food was given and monks and nuns didn't work. And he introduced the notion that work could be an expression of practice. Suzuki Roshi, the finder of Tassahara, said, in having guests here, in running a summer guest season, we are enacting the very same spirit, the very same activity as those mendicants who went with their begging bowls through the villages.

[52:14]

This is our begging bowl. And it brings in a considerable amount of money. And that amount of money pays for us to sit here in the winter, pays for the activities at City Center and at Green Gulch, it pays for our Dharma outreach, teaching meditations in prison and drug rehab, hospice, all sorts of things. Is that evil? doesn't seem to me like it is. Is it subject to corruption? Of course it is. That's what we practice. That's why every day we have to start our practice over and vow not to simply be confused, greedy, selfish, aggressive, and angry.

[53:17]

Every day we have to make that vow. Every day we have to make the vow to be courageous, kind, compassionate, and awake. And every night go to bed and say, well, tomorrow's another day. Yes? I'm just going to say the begging bowl analogy. When I hear it, I just don't buy it. I mean, it's like the whole practice of begging is for the person who's giving, to elicit a spirit of generosity in that particular way, whereas an exchange of goods, money for services, is not, it's an exchange. It's like if I have these eggs, you give me the bread, I'm not going to give you the eggs unless you give me the bread. It's an exchange.

[54:21]

Well, listen to this for an outrageous, misguided notion. If people come here and there's a nice hot springs and there's a beautiful bathhouse, and on a good day the food's pretty good. I'm kidding, the kids' food's always good. And the service, well... And the service has a special magic because sometimes you can just feel the sincere effort of the server to do a good job. And they're not sincerely trying to do a good job because you're going to leave them a bigger tip. They're not trying to do a good job because they'll get a higher hourly wage.

[55:25]

They're trying to do a good job because an expression of their vow of practice. Similarly with the person who empties a waste paper basket, makes the bed, chops the vegetables, drives the truck into town and back with the food. And I feel like, and I think, the people who come here feel that. They feel nourished in a way. They feel like, yeah, this is a good deal. You get your money's worth. You do get pretty good food. You do get the hot baths and all this and that. But something special happens too. Honestly, that is how I think about it.

[56:29]

You know, part of me, I was a mendicant monk, right? And part of me wishes we could all go and do that. There's nothing as extraordinary as to just live completely on what someone decides to put into your boat. But there's also something, to me, utterly applicable to our modern life. I feel like we say, we take your money, but the way we take your money is not the same way your money is usually taken. We take your money as a Dharma activity. And the way we take your money is like putting food in a begging bowl.

[57:34]

The way we take your money turns the wheel of the dharma. The way we take your money, giver and receiver and the money are all part of a sacred act. That's what I would say. You know? It's just what I would say. Yes? So I struggle with the opposite side of ,, which is the act of giving ourselves . So in the same way that is happening with we're offering , I am giving myself . Oh, what a wonderful feeling.

[58:46]

What a wonderful feeling it doesn't feel that way. It prompts you to renew your vow. It prompts you to say, tomorrow, I'll get out of bed, take another shot at it. You know? Right now, I'm kind of tired and spacey and a little achy. And I need some rest. But tomorrow, just watch me. I'm going to get up and go right back at it. Maybe today, I was not the perfect bodhisattva. But day by day, I make that vow. To me, to hear you say that is much more inspiring than to hear you say, you know, I think I'm really good at this.

[59:51]

I would think, uh-oh. Uh-oh. Better watch out for that guy. Okay. Thank you very much. things I didn't know I loved. We enter this world and we just run into limitations, our own, the worlds, the systems. You know, I say what I say about the system at Tassajara. You know, maybe it's so. Maybe it's what we'd like to be so. Maybe it's what we'd like to convince ourselves is so.

[60:54]

But the amazing thing about practice, you keep practicing and something starts to glow. Even this limited person you are, confused, stupid, stubborn, quick to complain, wanting what you don't have, even that person, as they continue to practice, starts to gain a certain lust, a certain beauty. The edges start to soften. Before they know it, despite themselves, they're being kind. They're being selfless. You go first. I'll wait. Here, take mine. Let me help you with that. I used to have something to complain about, but I can't remember it right now.

[62:02]

And we start to discover things we didn't know we loved. I never knew I loved the sun, even when setting cherry red as now in Istanbul. as it sometimes sets in postcard colors. But you aren't about to paint it that way anyway. I never knew I loved the sea, except the Sea of Azov, and how so much. I never knew I loved the Clydes, whether I'm under them or in them, whether they look like giants or shaggy white beasts. I never knew I loved the rain. whether it falls like a fine net or splatters against the glass of my heart, leaving me tangled up in a net. I trapped inside a drop and takes off from uncharted countries I didn't know I loved. And why did I suddenly discover all these passions sitting by the window of the train from Prague to Berlin?

[63:13]

Maybe it's because I just lit my sick cigarette and one alone could kill me. Maybe it's because I'm half dead of thinking of someone back in Moscow with their straw blonde eyelash. The train plunges through the pitch black night. I never knew I loved the pitch black night. Sparks fly from the engine. I didn't know I loved sparks. I didn't know I loved so many things. And I had to wait until 60 to find out. Sitting by the window, of the Prague Berlin train, watching the world disappear as if on a journey of no return. So there.

[64:12]

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