This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good evening. So, tonight I wanted to talk about, I thought about talking about the practice of resting. And Seijun, I think with the light, I need my stand. Do you mind bringing to me? Sorry. I thought I could do without it, but it's not going to go so well. The practice of well-being, the practice of resting. Who is here for the very first time at Tassajara?

[01:00]

Can you hold them high up so we can read? Wow. Okay. Thank you. Maybe. I can lift it a little. Good. Thank you. So a lot of you. So I want you to take a moment and remember in your body how it felt. Because some of you have probably driven in your own car. and some of you were driven by the stage. So how it felt in your body to leave Jamesburg and then be on this road for almost an hour, going God knows where. No human habitat, wilderness around you,

[02:02]

bumps in the road, steep ravines. And just take a moment to see if you can remember what happened in your body and what happened in your mind. And then how it was to arrive in this valley. So our bodies are incredibly, incredibly important. Because imagine this life you're having right now without your body. not possible so it's your body is your life and your life is your body so guest season has started and there's a lot of things are going on a lot of work a lot of maintenance a lot of workshops a lot of

[03:30]

people coming, people leaving, people staying. And so I think to cultivate well-being, cultivation is another way of practice. To cultivate well-being, to cultivate resting is really important. So I've been thinking about that, and then I thought, oh, I'm in the middle of that. Maybe I should talk a little bit about that. I have concussed myself two months ago. I had a concussion. First, it was very easy to take care of my body because there was just absolutely nothing else to do. The whole field of awareness had just shrunk to... this body and taking care of it.

[04:31]

So it wasn't a problem. It was pretty simple. Lie in bed, walk carefully to the bathroom and back to bed and eat everything through a straw and sleep and look at the light changing in the room and talk a little bit. So that was simple. then I got a little bit better. And then I started to go to work, but I don't work as I used to work. I am quickly overwhelmed, very quickly tired. Can't multitask, which I wasn't ever good at, is just now totally out of the picture. Can't remember things that happened maybe just shortly, a little while ago.

[05:37]

And the more energy I got, the more I also could see all the things that weren't taken care of. So it became hard to listen to my body. All my ideas about what I expect of myself or what I imagine other people expect of me, and the unanswered emails, the untaken care of tasks just started piling up, and I started to really worry that, you know, I'm just lazy, I just don't want to do it, I have preference, you know, all that stuff. So I had to go see a neurologist. And the neurologist did a few tests and said, well, everything you're experiencing is actually within the realm and normal occurring can occur when you've had a concussion.

[06:48]

And he said it may take a few more months for it to recover. So that relaxed me big time. And you have to sleep eight hours every night. That was wonderful to hear. And then, so for a few days, I slept eight hours a night. And then I thought, well, I get up in the morning. I should be in the Zendo. I can't let them down in the Zendo. And slowly it starts up again that I start worrying. It's The habit, so my teacher used to say, Rabbi Anderson, you are leaning into work. When he had a phase where he talked about not leaning anyway, you know, not leaning to the left, not leaning to the right, not leaning into something, not leaning away from something. So he said, you tend to lean into work. So I have, and we all have habits that...

[07:53]

How we think about ourselves and how we do what we do and how we should do it and how we shouldn't do it. And so when our bodies don't just obey us the way we are used to, those get activated. So probably in a couple of weeks I have to go see the neurologist again because I can just feel it build up. And having a little less... relaxation around it. But the good news is you do not have to wait till you have a concussion. Nobody has to wait till they break a leg or have an accident or an illness that forces that on us because it's a great practice. It's very unpleasant because it goes against the habitual tendency how... what I have to do or be able to do to feel okay about myself.

[08:57]

But that's just ideas that don't really get examined as long as our bodies just do what we do. And some of you know that since a very long time because they have to deal with something that's always there. And that kind of asks them... almost forces them to listen to the body. But we can all start that. And it's a little easier if you have something that's visible. So if I had a cast or would walk on a crutch, it would make it visible to me and I would be a little less endangered to project on you what you think about me. It would just be a little easier, but it would still be the same thing. So... particularly now that there is a shift in the energy in the valley and the whole practice turns toward guest season, cooking, cleaning, getting rooms ready, landscaping, fixing things, which we also do in the winter, but we do it much more reduced.

[10:17]

It's very important, I think, for you to realize that resting is an important practice, and it goes right along with working and meditating. And there's possibility to work, to rest while you work, and to rest while you meditate. And I wanted to just give you a few tips. One is the opportunity we have in this valley to be in the wilderness and so close to it. The walls are pretty thin and it's right there. The moment we step out the door, it's around us. There's not the same amount of distraction available as at home because you probably, even if you brought your computer, you can't get online.

[11:26]

So there's not so much distraction. And there is an incredible possibility here to actually open up the shutters Or the, what do you call that, what the horses have? Blinders. The blinders, which we all have outside because we have to pick out what we pay attention to because there's so much input. Here you can actually open those blinders and open your sense doors to really open them. And you can do that in the middle of working. Pause for a moment and stop what you're doing. And just tune in, for example, into the sounds around you. Not so much identifying them. Now I have to talk less loud.

[13:56]

He painted the colors and the shades of the colors and the shapes, but soft. So to actually stop for a moment and just tune into allowing the colors and the light come to you. You can tune into your sense of touch feel the wind or the coolness of the shadow or the warmth of the sun when you walk. You can tune into the kinesthetic sense, how your feet walk on that uneven ground, which is actually wonderful because your body wakes up because it has to adjust. It can't walk as habitually as it can on an asphalt because doesn't know what it's going to meet. And suddenly it slides a little or it's uneven.

[14:58]

So to feel your body move. These are moments that nurture you if you tune in. If you take a moment and so it doesn't stop you from working, you just take a break for a few breaths and do that. It connects you to your own being, and it connects you to the whole world around you. And you can also, after you've done that, you can touch base how you're physically doing, you can touch base how you're emotionally, what you're feeling, and you can touch base with what state your mind is in. And when you're in touch with yourself, that helps you also be in touch more with what you do and how you do it. Because in some ways, I would say much more than what we think about ourselves and our life and other people and anything, is how we are.

[16:17]

and how we do what we do, how we act. So that's why we talk about embodiment of practice. We don't talk about eminding of practice, braining of practice. We talk about embodiment, and it's not by accident that we say that. Because children are very good at detecting They don't particularly listen what you say, and they know immediately when it's not congruent with what you do. That's why it's sometimes quite uncomfortable to be around kids. And so that's another part, because now there's a lot of work... heavy work done. And you come here, like Sangha Week people have just arrived, and here they are shoveling, and they maybe have a work at the computer, so they're not so used.

[17:21]

And here's three hours of heavy physical work. Or even if you're used to it, you have long hours. You carry the plates, you carry the food, you carry the compost, you turn the compost. So if you Take the time to actually feel your body while you're lifting something. And how much energy do I need to lift this? So, if I don't habitually, we just grab something, you know, and then we adjust. But if we start slowly, we actually give our body the time to shift. And if I lift this slowly, I have to actually change my whole back to lift this off. And it's much heavier than I thought it was. If I do it fast, I don't give my body the time to actually adjust to what it needs to adjust to do this without harming, getting harmed.

[18:32]

So if you lift something heavy slowly, you might set it back down and rearrange your feet on the ground. You place them differently because you got the information. That's not going to work so well. And that's also a way of helping us be present with what we do. And when we are present, fully present with what we do, what's happening and what actions we're involved in, we become immediately also aware of how not we are doing something to it, but it's something doing back to us. There is a relationship going back and forth, an energy going back and forth, and it's very nurturing. And there is a feeling of being present that is very satisfying and creates a contentment. And this is always present because our bodies are never somewhere else than where we are, which is really a wonderful thing.

[19:43]

Because any time when we remember, we can do that. And one of the greatest things I find is slowing down. We tend to have habitual speeds. And we also think that when we get tired, we start either speeding up or using more energy. If you practice slowing down each time you remember, oh, slowing down, and just slow down a fraction, so it's not like you walk normal and then you suddenly do kin-hin down the main road, you know, almost not moving. It's you just slow down a fraction so that you feel that you have slowed down. Typing or talking or raking or whatever you're doing, chopping, that too helps actually bring you in the moment.

[20:48]

And so, for example, at City Center, when I realize that I'm kind of going from my office to a meeting, And my mind is busy with the meeting, you know, where I'm going to. And then I remember to slow down because that's now my... What I try to remember is to not rush because that's how I actually fell and knocked myself out. So when I slow down a little bit, what happens for me, and you would find out what happens for you, is... Suddenly, my field of awareness is much wider. I immediately notice what light is in the hallway, what the weather is outside the window, without turning my head. And instead of just people that are either in or not in my way where I'm going, I see who it is immediately.

[21:59]

And if I'm busy, I only halfway see who it is and I don't really have time to look at them or say good morning. I just pass them and I pay attention that I'm not running into them. And I feel how I'm doing. And it immediately relaxes me a little bit when I slow down a little bit. So... Also, a great way of resting is, particularly when you have suddenly a strong reaction to something, you know, something happened that upset you, or to just sit down a moment and just let the feeling that's there, that came up, let yourself feel it as fully as you can in your body.

[23:01]

Not so much the thoughts or the stories it sparks. Oh, this is always happening to me or why is this happening to me? But just how it feels and how it feels in your body. Another part that I find is really very helpful and relaxing is the practice of appreciation. So we had a group of young Tibetan nuns and monks and young people that were studying Vietnamese from the Thich Nhat Hanh tradition came to city center and they were on a... tour to encourage youth to start practicing particularly young people and they wanted we asked them why young people because we at city center a lot of us are not so young anymore so we wanted to know why they were mostly interested in young people and they said they just simply said you know if you start practicing young you have not practiced your habits for 50 or 60 years so you have much less to

[24:29]

transform, and you have way more energy. So it is really wonderful if you can start young. And I'm always happy to see so many young people here at Tassahara that come for the summer. And so practicing appreciation. So one of the nuns said, and that's typical for Thich Nhat Hanh, he very much encourages us to be conscious of what we have. And because we have it, we are so, we just take it for granted. So he says, be grateful that you don't have a toothache, that you don't have a headache, that you can walk, that you can talk, that you can see, that you have food. you can eat, that you have a roof over the head, clothes to wear.

[25:31]

Keep remembering that and keep appreciating that. It will make, it connects us if we do that, if we practice the appreciation for the things that are just so, that we didn't even have to do anything for, that we can walk and talk, for example, and are not in a wheelchair. So if we do that, it connects us to the abundance that's there and to all the resources we have. Otherwise, if we are always focused on what's missing or what we would like more of or wouldn't want to have, we actually create an environment of scarcity in which we live because there's always lack. But if we appreciate there is abundance, and that also nurtures us and is restful and makes us feel less afraid and less defended and more relaxed, which is really good for the body.

[26:41]

The body does not like tension, too much tension. So I would like to open this up a little bit to some comments. And before that, I also want to say something that the Chisha just told me. She said, was it the Dalai Lama who said it? No, Suzuki Roshi said, be friendly to your... because you're going to have them the rest of your life? And I think for living in community, that's a wonderful thing, because very often we think our problems are the other ones, and they don't go away.

[27:48]

But it's also to our own problems. Can we be friendly? Can I be friendly to my... my idea about myself that pushes me to not take care of my body and actually, if I don't, I won't heal. That was also very clear. The neurologist said, you have to rest, you have to listen to your body, otherwise what you're experiencing now won't go away. It won't get better. It will get worse. And still, so can I be friendly to that part rather than creating another stressor now on top of it by being upset that I have this habitual mind that just kicks in from time to time. And so how can we treat ourselves and each other as Buddha?

[28:51]

or as an awake one, and Hafez has a poem that goes, how do I listen? How do I listen to others? As if everyone were my master, speaking to me his cherished last words. Can you imagine that for a moment? That whatever someone says to you, you listen to, like it would be your master speaking to you his last cherished words. I mean, when I imagine that, I feel like we would all live in peace with each other. That wouldn't mean everything that's said we would necessarily agree, but we would be so respectful. And it's a great koan to take on. to play with, to experiment with.

[29:55]

You can do it for half an hour, you know, or for five minutes and see what happens when you try to do that. And how does it make you feel when you have that open, receptive heart? That doesn't mean you have to agree with everything or you have the same view, but you receive it with that respect. So now I would like you to just maybe you have discovered things, how you can rest in the middle of working or in stressful situations or how you listen to your body or what helps you to engage actually the wisdom of your body to be present. Or maybe you have questions or... Yes, Rachel.

[30:57]

I know you said that you can rest when you're awake, but considering sleeping, how do you rest and be a Zen student at the same time? Justin, where is the question? What about Zen student makes you think you can't rest? Yes. Can you take a nap during the day? Yeah, I think that's what I would recommend. If you don't get enough sleep at night, see if you can nap twice a day. And, you know, I think there are people for whose body it's not...

[32:00]

the right practice to do winter practice period here at Tassahara because they do not get enough sleep and again that will be your body that will tell you and it will be maybe a struggle because your mind might say well this is good or if it's good for others it should be good for me or I want this to be good but it's not but I think if you're if we are in harmony and listen to our body and distinguish what is neurotic and what is so, then so when I don't know anymore is this so or am I neurotic, I go to the neurologist. And as in this case now, if I'm a Zen student and I don't know which I am, I go and talk to my teacher and to other practice leaders to check that out. Am I just

[33:03]

Is this my habit, or is this really something that I need to pay attention to? So it's a good question. Thank you. Anybody else? Yes, please. Yes? Yes. Exactly. You know, aging is an ongoing question about that. That is, I think, one of the big challenges of aging.

[34:05]

That, you know, your body and your mind don't do what they used to do. And your interests may shift and your capacities shift. And is this something I should fight against? Because I've worked for a long time as a physical therapist. And one of the biggest teachings that I got from that was to see all these innumerable people from all walks of life, from all... income levels, because that's a big melting pot, physical therapy in hospitals, which is wonderful, was to see the difference between people who had had something impact their capacity, the ones that kept fighting and wanted to go back to how it was before, and all their energy was about that, and the ones that accepted it

[35:12]

and worked with it, for those who accepted it, there were totally new rooms opening up that were not visible and not there. And for the ones that wanted to go back, there was only loss and bitterness or resentment. And that's a great teaching in terms of aging. Because There is this, and again, it's the body that's going to guide and lead you. And how do you work with that so you're not thinking it's a problem that I have to overcome? But it's a change that is maybe difficult to adjust to, but if I can surrender to it, other things open up. So my mother, for example, she lost her sight. She had macular degeneration, so she could barely see.

[36:15]

She would make the most beautiful flower arrangement, like money. It was really amazing. She would just go in the garden and pick out shapes and colors and put them together in a vase. And she would lie. To take a rest, she would lie and listen. She just heard... sense of hearing had gotten much much bigger and her sense she knew who was in the room without seeing their face so her life was not diminished and she at the beginning she got connected to the library, hearing library and she listened to books a lot but she also got the paper and she could still read with a big magnifying glass and she read that paper of the blind or sight impaired people, and after a couple of months she said, I'm not reading this paper anymore. They're all complaining about what they lost. And that's totally uninteresting for me.

[37:20]

She was interested in how can I do the things that I love to do without seeing them. So I would find her at home having taken down the fan in the kitchen disassembled it, laid it out, without really seeing it, cleaning it, and then somebody else had to put it back together. But she did that, or she fixed the garage door opener, you know, by feeling where is that piece of string coming down and it's not in, go down, try again, step up the ladder. She would just, she would find this a challenge. So there is a big difference. So thank you for that question. Anybody else? What time is it? Well, I think we can go rest. What do you think, Tantosan? Yes?

[38:21]

Okay. Well, thank you so much. As I said before, the talks come mostly out of all of you who are in the room, whoever that is at the given time. There's just a skeleton. And your energy and your presence and what you bring to this room is part of what shapes the talk and the conversation. And we always do that with each other. So if you start practicing... resting in the middle of work, in the middle of traffic, in the middle of going to your job or home, you affect your whole environment. We just do. We do. We do affect each other continuously, big time. And it's just wonderful. So I hope you have all a really, really restful and wonderful time.

[39:27]

here at Tassahara, and I'll see you on the path tomorrow, and have a very good night. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma Talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

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