This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Welcome to day two of Sashim. Like for me, day two, day three, I usually experience some withdrawal symptoms. So you may notice that if there's anything that you're attached to in your usual life that you're not doing in sashim. You may feel some withdrawal symptoms. cold turkey.

[01:02]

Look where that came from. Cold turkey. What? Just imagining a turkey without any feathers. Naked, shivering turkey. Very cold. So anyway, sometimes it's difficult just to sit and notice the karmic pushes and pulls that kind of rise up in your body-mind. My Dharma brother, Steve Weintraub, tells the story of... going in for doksan with Katagiri sometime during sesheen.

[02:09]

And he didn't know what to say. And Katagiri, Roshi said, how's your zazen? And Steve just said, terrible. Terrible. Katagiri said, Terrible Zazen. It's pretty good. Pretty good. Pretty good. He didn't really say the T's. Pretty good. He'd say, pretty, pretty good. It's wonderful. Before good. I wanted to... mention a few things to some points of forms, practices that we're doing during Sashin, so I made a little list.

[03:17]

You can consider this as local customs, that we have various forms and practices So some of them have to do with our meal time. So we have oryoki. Oryoki, we say, really just refers to, the word oryoki means a vessel for just the right amount, an adequate amount. So, and around the meal we have various, various practices. So, for example, when the server comes up and offers you something like the gamasio, receive it, you know, of course, bow, the server, and then receive it with two hands.

[04:21]

And then, in the case of gamasio, One person, two people, usually two people are bowing and one person receives it. So just hold it and then hold it here. We're discussing about changing this, but anyway, for now we're holding it here in the center. And just bow with your body, with the server. And that way the server is released and then you can place it. And in the process, we have this practice that the handle of the spoon, little spoon in the gamasio bowl, should be toward the server when it's offered to you. But then when you receive it, then you turn it toward yourself. Some people are very skillful at turning it. If you get it even halfway, that's kind of nice. Then you can completely turn the handle back when you...

[05:27]

set it down. So I noticed some people were trying to receive it and set it down quickly even before bowing, but in the case of if you're the second person receiving something when you're being served from any of your other bowls, if you're the second person receiving it and the server's putting their utensil back in the pot or whatever, then just hold what you're receiving. and bow. The first person has time to put it down and then can go back to gasho and the second person can hold it and just bow from the waist. And then, oh yes, what to do when something drops on the floor. First of all, consider yourself Fortunate.

[06:28]

You will be helped. You might have to wait a while, but if something drops, then just put your hands in gaisho and stop eating and enjoy being still with your hands in gaisho. And then the soku, the head server, is supposed to come and pick it up and go make a gesture of offering it and bring it back to you. And then you can bow, receive it. And again, it's good to receive things with two hands. This is partly Japanese style, but it's a considerate way. If you're in Japan, and those of you who've been to Japan may know the feeling, even if you're just buying something at a convenience store or something, the clerk will most likely hand you your receipt with two hands.

[07:31]

It feels like, okay, you're really being fully met just in that little gesture. So you can receive if you drop your spoon or your chopstick or whatever, or your bowl. It's kind of unusual, but sometimes it happens. The bowl somehow finds its way But just receive it, and then you can continue. Yes. So during the meal, you have a chance to watch your desires. So it's a practice of mindfulness. See if you can actually taste your food. This food, it's right in your bowl. appreciate it without comparing it to some other food that you imagine, or that you were thinking, oh, I want more, or did I take too much, or whatever, but just once it's there, this is absolutely perfect, right?

[08:40]

So just receive it, and bring full, mindful attention to the taste, color, fragrance. And notice, if you're sitting upright. Or are you kind of getting into the, you know, kind of animal state. Or if you're sitting upright. So you can see if you're, if you're holding, and even while someone's serving you, you notice, you know, when the server's serving, especially, you know, when you've given away your bowl to them and they're serving the bowl, are you like... It's kind of a check to see, can you sit upright? It's okay. By the way, it's also good to use the suture books as much as you can, but you have to kind of pick it up and put it down.

[09:45]

And hopefully during the next couple of days, you will learn the meal chant. so that you can follow along with a meal chant and go through the, you know, the vows. And, yeah, that should be enough. Hand signals. Hand signals should be clear. You know, if you want just a little bit. And then there's this matter of ceremonial amount. I don't know. It's not so hard we have very clear. Ceremonial amount means basically you are just taking the smallest portion just in respect of the notion to receive something of everything that's offered. So finger and thumb completely together. Ceremonial amount. So the server should just put a little, the smallest amount in your bowl.

[10:49]

But when you do this, it's just a skosh. the server should just not judge how much is little for you. They should get a full ladle and they should just slowly pour it and then you stop them signal when it's the small amount just according to your own sense. And then at the end of the meal we have the grand finale, the Doan, the Kokyo chants, you know, There's the clappers. And it's... What does the Kokyu chant? The mind is pure and goes beyond, thus we bow to Buddha. So we're all here. So that bow to Buddha, and then you feel like, oh, I should pick up my bowls, right? But do a complete bow. So you bow to Buddha, and then pick up your bowl.

[11:53]

So... as a complete feeling to... I've been working on that myself, actually. Because we, at one point, had a different rule. Is this the green gulch? Is this correct, the green gulch now, to do a complete bow? Okay, let's do it that way. Do a complete bow. Okay. What else am I going to mention? A silent day tomorrow, but I do want to do, we'll do the morning service. We'll begin with nine boughs and chant the repentance and the refuges. So we'll do all my ancient twisted karma. That'll help us

[12:55]

yeah it's good to clear up your ancient twisted karma at least once a day so to do that and then after the refuges just keep bowing so then it can be bowing wherever you are just bow according to your own What's a complete bow for you? The bow is complete, say, unified feeling. We don't say that Buddha can even be known by any particular description. So you're not necessarily bowing to a Buddha. You're bowing to and you're bowing with

[13:57]

the totality of things. So this is your bowing with your open heart, simply bowing and noticing mindfully just what it is with your body to enter completely into the bow. So there'll be this time of just bowing and then after a while there'll be some signal, someone will ring a bell. Yeah? Yeah, actually that's good. For people on the Tan, you can put your whole Zabuton down on the floor. Whereas for what we've been doing for the morning service is just doing the bowing and getting back up on the Tan. Okay, good point. And then same thing. Noon service. Noon service, the

[15:00]

Doshi, priest will just go up, offer incense, come back and start bowing. No particular... And then you can just start bowing. Evening service, same thing. So that's tomorrow. And then we will, so we'll do the chant at the end of the day and be the refuges at the end of the day. But between the refuges in the morning and the refuges in the evening, no service chanting, no meal chanting. Okay? I probably won't do much dokusan tomorrow, maybe none, so I'll try to spend the day just sitting. And so that'll be for days tomorrow, the third day tomorrow, and then again on the fifth day.

[16:02]

Yes? One of the things where you were speaking about desire and about these meals is a few years ago I came from the country and some of you that you realized that so many people, these slower or they go more through, And ,, it's not enough. So in order for people not to have to have that rusty feeling for .. There's . That's still happening. We're still out in the kitchen. What a deal.

[17:17]

Okay. No need to collapse from hunger during Shashin. Or to Yeah, have that anxiety. Can I possibly eat enough in seven minutes? Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's interesting to study. What do you actually need? What's the difference between need and desire in relation to food? It's an opportunity to just study that. Listen to your body. Well, talking about body, also just to mention about exercise. We don't have an exercise period in this schedule per se, but there are breaks after meals that are quite ample. So please find some time to take a walk, do some yoga, whatever you do, but take care of your...

[18:24]

of your body, that's your responsibility. So exercise also is really helpful to balance out the time, you know, we're spending a lot of time sitting. So that's, again, yeah, your responsibility, and it makes a big difference to take care of your own body. We just chanted this The body is the fruit of many lifetimes. So taking care of the body is a fundamental part of the practice. And if you're listening to your body, you'll know at some point it wants to move. Okay, I think that's Silent Day. Kinhin, walking slow in the Zendo Kinhin, just see if you can have the practice saying with your breath through Zazen, breath, alignment, body alignment, breath, awareness, the bell rings, ding, your hands come up, see if you can see where the breath is as you bow.

[19:54]

As you get up, as you take care of your seat, stand. Can you find the continuity of your breath awareness from sitting to standing and then walking? Kin hin. You might lose it somewhere in there, but then with kin hin, you can find it again. So when you're standing, and then it's good to, at the beginning of kin hin, some people leave to go to the to go to the bathroom, but those who are here, so stay in the zendo and do kenyan if you can. And kenyan practice then extends your zazen mind into the activity of walking. And look around on your side of the zendo and space yourselves out about equally at the beginning of kenyan when the other people have exited. And then with the in-breath, what I suggest is with the in-breath, you lift your trailing foot.

[21:05]

Again with the heel, lift that heel. And as you complete the in-breath, then the whole foot comes off the ground. And as you exhale, place the foot. So you're letting the breath regulate your walking. Out-breath. Place the foot. In breath, lift the foot. Out breath, place the foot. And pay attention to your posture. Holding hands in shashu, left thumb, fingers around it, and forearms should be level or parallel with the floor. So it's, and elbows a little away from the body. So feeling of, again, some spaciousness as you, when you're sitting zazen, that's good. Elbows away from the body, feeling of space here, very important. So, and then, again, eyes relaxed.

[22:09]

And your gaze down. So you're not distracted, but you're aware as you walk. Doksan. So starting to do some doksans today. My intention is, invitation is, I'll invite everyone If you have something urgent, or you're concerned about some point of practice that you want to discuss earlier on, you can speak to the Jisha, Francisco, let him know, and you can be seen sooner than later. Eventually I'll get around to everyone.

[23:14]

I like to drink Sashin, I like to keep the doks on Brief, mostly focused on your practice during Sashin. But if you haven't met with me before, please just introduce yourself and begin. And then you can bring up some question that you have or inform me of some practice that you're doing. and how that's going. And so that's a good focus for Doksana. So, Dharma question, very good. You have some Dharma question, but specific to your practice is really helpful. It's a good time to get some support and guidance.

[24:16]

Other people, other... practice leaders doing practice discussion. I don't know if discussion is the right word. Sounds like it could go on and on and on. Maybe too much talk. But again, it's good to have some focus on what's a matter of some concern, an issue for you. Oh, yes. Beginning tonight, I'd like to invite you to do late-night sitting. So you may check how you feel at the end of the day. After we do the refuges, if you feel some energy for sitting, then come back, go out, you take off our Akesha or Raksu, and just come in.

[25:22]

The lights will be down, should leave the lights on at the step, so people can find their way in, but then you kind of have to feel your way into your seat in the dark, and then sit for a while. So... As you go through the session, you may notice that your concentration, your samadhi energy supports sitting into the evening. It varies completely from one individual to another. So for those of you who don't come back to do late night sitting, wherever you go to your bed, So when you prepare your bed, you prepare yourself. And then at your bed, before you lie down, say, just sit for at least three breaths. Just sit at your bed, or even in your bed, or on your bed.

[26:28]

And really come home and notice your state of mind. And then when you're ready, lie down. Ah. and enter that restful sleep. So those are some things I thought about just to clarify. And so along these lines, any questions? Comment? Yes? Have we decided? Are we going to do it? Work period? We're going to do a communal work period, 99% likely. And we're going to do it day after tomorrow, Thursday afternoon. So after the break, then that would mean people would, will we have a signal? Will we all go down to the... Ring the railroad bell, which is kind of a thunk, thunk, thunk.

[27:35]

It's not the most... Not the greatest ring. But then, so we should be in work clothes. Maybe not everyone has work clothes. So if you don't have work clothes, talk to the Eno or the Tonto beforehand and we'll find some work other than the farm work. Oh, there's... You can't get off that easy, huh? Okay. Yeah, some people, you know, you may not physically be able to do work in the farm. Although there's some light, usually some light work there too. But then we'll just go down then to the farm, right? So here's the railroad bell. So that would be the end of the break after lunch, the day after

[28:42]

tomorrow, and we'll go down and get our assignments at the farm altar. Yes. Work period how long? Until there's a signal to end it. Yeah, we'll come back and then change and then we'll have whatever's next. So there'll be a little time to clean up. So it sounds like about an hour. Maybe less. Yes? Sounds right. Yeah. So we're all

[29:43]

in alignment, having to make some various adjustments to do this. So it's a great practice to mindfully go down and do some work in the garden or the farm and I know the weeds and the plants will be very grateful. Is that right? Weeds want to know that they're weeds. How would they know? Excuse me. So, okay, I was talking about generosity and alignment. Dogen in his passage on the four methods of bodhisattva guidance says that dana paramita means non-greed.

[31:08]

Generosity, in other words, generosity. You can say dana paramita or giving beyond usual comparative mind. So the dana means giving. Paramita is beyond the usual comparative mind. Dana paramita means non-greed or non-grasping. So simply to let go of desire. is a practice of generosity. Already you are being helped by all the myriad things. So in this time we have sitting, appreciate your wandering mind, appreciate your desire as an opportunity to let go of it.

[32:13]

So desire will come up and catch you. Naturally, we have to. We have to have desires. Some desire is, we could say, built into us, right into our DNA. And so to be at home with desire, is our practice. And to notice when it's something extra. To notice when there's some desire that's something that's not a desire that's actually given to you to have. But a desire that's something that you have added on. Something extra. So that something extra desire can be released. And releasing that desire is generosity.

[33:23]

Dhanaparamita. It's really based on gratitude. It's based upon gratitude, having a sense that everything is already given. So much is already given. This body, the fruit of many lifetimes. Countless, countless lifetimes. I was reading in Stuart Brand's book on Whole Earth, I think it's called Whole Earth Discipline, an eco... what's... eco-something, manifesto. Anyone know the title? Anyone know the book? Stuart, fairly recent, last year or the year before, Stuart Brand... very thoughtful book, collecting a lot of science.

[34:26]

And it's quite a challenge to people who are usually thinking, okay, how to take care of the environment. I think he has some rigorous thinking and proposals that it's good for people to be aware of. And challenge your usual beliefs. But anyway, one of the The whole area in the book has to do with the many lifetimes that actually go into this life, into this body, into this whole planet that we're being supported by. This moment right now, you're being supported by the entire, say, biosphere. And most of it we don't even see. In fact, most of it, most of even the life forms, we don't even see. So one of the striking statements that someone has calculated, that about 80% of the biomass, that is the living organisms, 80% of life on this planet is microscopic.

[35:44]

80% of it, you can't even see. So much of it is in, much of what's even in this body, you know, can't be seen. The life that's on this body, on this skin, can't be seen. So this is, you know, to even imagine this, just a practice of gratitude, to appreciate how much we're being supported. This fragile life. right now, this particular moment of existence is being supported by countless, countless life, other lives. And most of them we only know about through microscopes and extrapolating what we have actually studied.

[36:51]

what we actually can see. And that's only what's accessible to our visual senses, you know. We only have, you know, we have these five sense organs. And that's it. So much going on that we can't even be aware of. we don't have the sensory equipment to feel. So we tend to believe in our world that we create based upon our five senses. But that's just the world as we know it. So we don't even know how much we're supported by phenomena that we can't even experience. So this is gratitude on a maybe cosmic level. at least on a global level. But it, of course, includes the sun, sunlight, all of our energy in our bodies coming from the sun through plants who can photosynthesize energy.

[38:06]

We're completely dependent on all that. So really, there's not much cause for... being not much justification for human hubris. But still, we do get involved in it. I was thinking about one of my favorite films of the last, I don't know, few years, is a movie Smoke Signals. Some of you may know it. It's a film completely produced and acted by Native Americans or Indians. And so there's one scene, the woman, excuse me, her name is Arlene.

[39:08]

Arlene is the champion known for making the best fry bread. Eileen makes the best fry bread. Everyone knows this. But she's explaining to her son, Victor, who's resenting someone else wanting to help him. She's explaining to Victor, she says, you know, people say I make the best fry bread. But I get a lot of help. I get a lot of help. Someone says, Arlene, too much flour. Or Arlene, not enough salt. So in this way, I get a lot of help. So this is receiving.

[40:10]

So this is the other side of generosity, is being able to receive. the support from the whole, from your friends, from your critical friends, members of your own family, your own tribe, your own sangha, who see things about you that you can't see. And point them out. Or maybe they don't point them out. And they go on wishing that you could see. Wishing you'd pay attention. Wishing you'd be a little more considerate, you know, in some way that you can't see. Too much salt. Not enough salt. Yes?

[41:14]

I was going to share... Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, so that's a vivid example of that practice. It was taught to me by Anshan Thomas. Some of you know Anshan. He's a Soto Zen priest in the Peacemaker Order, a Vietnam veteran who had a lot of trouble after Vietnam.

[42:19]

with his own, say, post-traumatic stress, and couldn't sleep unless he was taking drugs or something. But then he began sitting in practice, and he... was ordained as a priest by Bernie Glassman at Auschwitz. So he made a trip to Auschwitz, did his ordination there, and then Bernie said, okay, now you can go on a pilgrimage. You really need to go on a pilgrimage. You have so much... so much rage, so much anger in your body. And... So he actually did his first pilgrimage from Auschwitz, walking to Vietnam.

[43:21]

And then he did another across this country, from Yonkers, New York, to San Francisco. And all those travels, you know the most difficult place? Ohio. Ohio is the most difficult place, because each his practice was to just carry an extra change of clothes and a canteen of water. And that was what he carried in his identification papers. But he would go to a village, a town, a city, whatever, and he would go to the first place, the first church, or mosque, or temple, whatever it was, first place that was a place of a spiritual practice, and he would go to the door and see if he could get someone's attention. And then he would explain that he was a Buddhist monk pilgrim and that he was just asking for a place to spend the night and a meal.

[44:33]

And so that's how he made his way. And if the person said, sorry, I can't help you, or go away, or whatever, he would just say, thank you. Bow. Go to the next place. So, sometimes, you go through the whole town and there would be no place, so then he would go hungry that night. Sleep on the ground or whatever. But Ohio, most difficult. They didn't, there's so many churches in Ohio that did not receive Buddhist, Buddhist monk well. Go away, I don't want to have anything to do with Buddhists.

[45:34]

Surprised me anyway. But the practice of then, whatever the answer, okay, yes, okay, please come in and yeah, well, Tell me about yourself. He could offer some Dharma teaching. And so he's continued to go to places where there's some conflict and just be willing to listen to people, work with other Vietnam veterans and so forth. But the practice of receiving whatever is... Whatever the response is, thank you. Good practice. And then, having received it, then how does it feel to have received it? What is the learning? What are you actually taking in?

[46:40]

Part of what you may discover is your own resistance, your own reaction. Your own closed mind. And then how do you take care of your closed mind? So to not be attached to even a particular judgment about your own closed mind, is an act of dhanaparamita, an act of generosity. So then you can forgive yourself for your closed mind. So when we say, in the morning when we say, all my ancient twisted karma, I now fully avow, fully avow it is to acknowledge and also include it in the spirit of generosity.

[47:51]

So if you can then just completely include your own, say, resistance, in this case, resistance to feedback, you can include that with some generosity, then you can extend that. That same spirit you can extend to others. You can also forgive others for their closed hearts. Little by little. Sometimes it means you have to take what comes. Whoever shows up. So most, you know, we waste a lot of time trying to protect ourselves or control what we can't control. So there's more wisdom in accepting what is.

[48:57]

And that doesn't mean just passively being submerged in it. It means to accept it dynamically, greet it with a kind of generosity, a friendliness, and then see, okay, how can you help? So sometimes this is actively forgiving is a way to help. This... I was going to talk about the four foundations of mindfulness.

[50:00]

For those who know the four foundations of mindfulness, this is just a reminder of to attend as you're practicing, cultivating alignment. You may cultivate alignment with body, alignment with feelings, alignment with states of mind, alignment with objects of mind. But instead, there's just a very moving little story that I read a while back of this kind of generosity, non-clinging.

[51:09]

Seven-year-old boy, this was just a few years ago, here in America. A seven-year-old boy and his family, his sister, had leukemia. And so the family is being, and at that time they decided, the doctors felt that a bone marrow transplant would help this girl with leukemia. So they were testing the various members of the family to find who's most compatible. And it turned out that the The compatible one was the little brother, seven-year-old brother. So they talked to him and said, are you willing to go through this procedure in the hospital or you give your bone marrow so your sister can live? And he said yes. He understood he was the one who could really give that.

[52:13]

So he went into the hospital, and he's on the, you know, in the room with the line there, and they're doing this procedure, extracting some bone marrow, and he's conscious, and at some point he says, Doctor? And yes, and he said, When do I begin to die? So I took up, I feel. So he had misunderstood what he was giving. He didn't know that he could still live giving his bone marrow to his sister so she could live. So this kind of innocent

[53:15]

Generosity. It's something, I'd say a capacity that we all have. And sometimes it takes particular circumstances before we wake up to it. But it may feel like you have to be willing to let go of your own life to be present in this moment. So in Sashin, you may discover as you're deepening your concentration and your presence and practice of being present right here, it may feel like, oh, you have to give up. I have to give up that. I have to give up what I really want to hold onto. I have to give up feeling these desires is deeply rooted in your own body.

[54:17]

This practice of generosity then, dana paramita, going beyond what you usually think is yours that you can give. Because actually you can't possess anything. Please be generous with yourself at that moment. And allow yourself to be fully present. Not holding onto something that small. Some small, possessive sense of what this one is. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center.

[55:28]

Our programs are made possible by the donations we receive. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click on giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[55:54]

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