This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Takes a long time, that whole process. It's a feature, not a bug. My name is Jiryu. I live here at Greenwich Farm and serve as the abbot currently. And I'll be giving the Dharma talk this morning, most likely. And I'm grateful to see you all here on kind of a gross and cold day.

[01:07]

I've been studying my opinions. And I've got lots of them. I've got all kinds of stuff. I am, at this point at least, we'll see how things go, but I'm currently very pro-you-all. And kind of against this kind of gross, cold, gray thing that's happening at Greenwich today. Feel free to ask me about other opinions. I have one on pretty much everything, every moment, awake or asleep. So maybe... There's time I'll say a little bit about how I aspire to practice with that fire hose of opinions that feel so welcome and invited to be in my mind all the time.

[02:20]

They have like a lifetime subscription to just come in anytime. And tell me what's happening and if we like it or not and what we should do about it. And I'm not sure when it started. But there, you know, I think that I've occasionally had an opinion that has felt important. Like morally important or psychologically important. And so then the door kind of got cracked open, like, opinions are wholesome and good. And then all kinds of them came in through that little invitation. A lot of hangers-on up on the train. What to think of ungraspable miracle that there's anything.

[03:28]

I like it I don't like it anyway you're having opinions too already I hope they're good which is a funny thing but really mostly let's all just like not care too much you know and just be here with them but below them in the embodied feeling of aliveness together that we can't get a handle on and that we didn't create and that's new every moment and that's intimate together with everything so Today is December 7th, and this is an important season for us in the Zen community.

[04:37]

It's the time when we celebrate the kind of foundational moment or foundational myth of our teaching, which is the Buddha's awakening. Traditionally, we observe that on what we call rohatsu in Japanese, the eighth day of the twelfth month. And so tonight, to celebrate that moment, that time of the Buddha's awakening, we're beginning a seven-day meditation retreat that sort of celebrates or reenacts, you could say, honors the Buddha's path to awakening. The basic idea is the Buddha just sat, and so we'll just sit. The Buddha sat for a while, so we'll sit for a while. And... You know, we maybe like to think about what the Buddha got out of it. But the main thing is the Buddha just sat down for a while.

[05:45]

He quit. He was a real seeker, you know, the Buddha. And at some point he quit his seeking and just sat down. I don't know if the sutra says this, but I think the meaning or the feeling is, I've had it. I've had it. I'm just, I'm done. I'm just going to sit down. First, you know, he kind of had it with the palace life that had everything he needed, everything he could have wanted, but still he was not satisfied. So he just had it, you know. And then he went on this kind of spiritual adventure and had all kinds of like amazing mystical experiences and learned all kinds of cool descriptions of reality.

[06:50]

And said, well, that didn't really help you. I'm still not satisfied. I've had it. So then he found a nice tree and just sat down. I quit. Suzuki Roshi, our San Francisco Zen Center founder, says something like, you can retire from the world of suffering. It's kind of the, I've had it, I quit. And I'm just going to sit down and be myself. Just going to sit down as myself. You feel what that would be like to just say, you know what? Forget it. I'm just gonna sit here as myself. Just gonna be this thing that I am.

[07:57]

I'm gonna try to get out of something. I'm not gonna try to get something. I'm just going to sit down and stop. And so it's interesting, you know, we think of, and Zenju Osho's recent teachings have really brought this to the fore for me. We can think of the Buddha's path, you know, this kind of heroic, sometimes cast as this kind of heroic epic, right, where he accomplishes this difficult thing. But it's more like he just, it's more like he let something go. He quit something. He just surrendered to being himself in the language of Suzuki Roshi. So I want to read a little bit about how Suzuki Roshi put that, how he tells the story of the Buddha's awakening. Before attaining enlightenment,

[09:08]

Buddha practiced under many teachers, studying many things and becoming caught up in various philosophies or religions. When he realized he was caught by this, he lost interest in such things. All these things he was doing were supposed to help him to get free from of his clinging and his suffering and his confusion, but it was just giving him more to hold on to. He realized he was just caught by all this spiritual seeking he was doing, and he lost interest in such things. He got tired of that kind of effort, and he gave up everything. Giving up everything, obviously, hopefully obviously, giving up everything was just him being himself.

[10:18]

You giving up everything might feel like you just being yourself, you know? It's not giving up yourself. Yourself is like, what's last, right? Give everything up. That make sense? Kind of. Enough. He didn't stop being what he was. He just allowed himself to be what he was fully, totally. So then Suzuki Roshi says, finally, he sat under the Bodhi tree where he attained enlightenment. We say he attained enlightenment, but it may be better to say he completely forgot everything. He had nothing in his mind at that moment. When he saw the morning star rising up from the east, maybe many of you know the story, so the Buddha was sitting there and then saw the morning star.

[11:32]

When he saw the morning star rising up from the east, it was the first thing he saw coming out of his empty mind. That is why he had such joy at the sight of the morning star. In other words, he shared his feeling with the morning star's feeling. It is difficult to analyze whether it was Buddha's feeling or the morning star's feeling. Anyway, he shared his feeling with the morning star. That was his enlightenment. Just being himself, not trying to be anything else, letting go of everything. He could just be totally intimate with the thing that was here. which is the morning star. So, in our tradition of Soto Zen practice, we

[12:48]

We don't emphasize so much the enlightenment that the Buddha got as much as the practice that the Buddha did. That's kind of the character of our style of teaching. Not be so concerned about enlightenment, but to be really interested in the practice. And we say actually the practice is the enlightenment, or the practice and the enlightenment are not two things. The understanding, and I just want to say a little bit about this because it's an important point for our teaching, and it's an important way to understand those of us doing the seven-day meditation retreat, that we're not doing it to get something. You don't get the thing at the end. The point is there's something in our heart.

[13:50]

This is the teaching. There's something in our nature that already knows that we are profoundly intimate. with everything that's here, that we don't need to be confused by anything that's here, and that we actually can just and long to love every single thing that's here. That's what our heart already is and knows. Believe it or not. Who's heart are you talking about? But the teaching is your heart, actually. And so the path is not to get something you don't have, get this intimacy, get this love that you don't have. It's to just let that love and intimacy express itself through a practice. The enlightenment is the thing that's doing the practice. The heart that already intuitively is one with things and loves things is the thing that's getting you to practice loving and being intimate with things.

[14:59]

There's no gap. There's nothing to get. It's about enacting or expressing or being true to what we already are. So this practice period, we've been for the last couple of months in a practice period here, and this... is sort of the closing week of the practice period, but don't worry, it'll be a long week. So we get too excited, folks who are staying on. We've been practicing enacting this nature through Suzuki Roshi's teachings and through a kind of framework that I've been offering for understanding Suzuki Roshi's teachings, which doesn't really have a framework, but there's some themes. So there's some themes of Suzuki Roshi's teaching that we've been emphasizing and I just want to name them today to orient those of us who are sitting and also to invite all of those of you wherever you are to also do this practice together whether you're sitting or walking or standing or lying down.

[16:18]

This is a practice that is the enactment of the nature we already have and it's a practice that we do together. Because it's a practice of intimacy, you can't really do it by yourself. Fortunately, you never can be by yourself. Because it's so intimate, you actually can't get away from it. You drive all the way to Gringold and there's just a room full of people. Everywhere you go, We're intimate with what's here. And we're practicing together with it. So some of us will be practicing sitting and others will be practicing in other ways. But maybe these five points that I want to name, you can take them up as invitations and see if you would want to orient your own posture of the expression of yourself, the expression of your life, along these same lines.

[17:27]

So these five are to care for our physical posture and to care for our breathing. No surprises yet. Care for our physical posture and care for our breathing. again and again, invite and refresh the warm heart, our warm heart, and to empty our mind. This may be a complicated one. Sounds complicated.

[18:29]

when our mind is empty. So to clear our mind, to let go of whatever we can let go of that's in our mind. And to open our eyes and ears and hearts and body and being and allow the intimacy with our surroundings and with each other. To be upright and breathing and warm and empty and open intimate with what's here why not doesn't that sound nice suddenly anything in the way my calendar calendars in the way all the pile up dishes are in the way my friends are in the way So the physical posture we've been studying and maybe for most of this practice period we've been studying the physical posture of being upright and this is most important, well it's very important in our sitting but also in all of our activity we can become more present when we're caring for the posture, our physical posture.

[19:57]

we've been studying this low belly center so grounding that posture in and you can find it right now if you're not already abiding there you can just feel you know especially maybe when you breathe out and breathe out a little bit beyond the end of the exhalation you just feel your low belly And just let that feeling of the low belly be more and more like the center of what you are, where you are, who you are. So that low belly center, wonderful capacity and strength and ground in that low belly. So we've been enjoying that together, feeling that low belly and trying to move from the low belly and express ourselves from the low belly. And then not just the belly, but the whole inside of the body as a part of what our posture is.

[21:10]

So we have our posture and we try to sit upright. Our friend David France was here recently in the practice period and was helping us to try to appreciate that you can sit upright not just using the outside of the body, but also using the inside of your body. The inside of your body can also help you to be upright. So you could feel into that and you feel the inside of your body and let that whole, the whole thing be upright and open. One of the things that Zen tradition points out about our posture is that it's called ears over the shoulders or the chin a little bit in. And there's this and pretty consistent principle that when the chin goes out the mind starts running it's a funny thing somebody maybe understands why or has some stories about why but it just seems like you can test it out bring your chin in your ears over your shoulders and the mind can quiet and when your chin comes out usually your back slumps and you start remembering all your opinions about stuff and asking them you know what to do

[22:30]

Instead of asking your belly and your heart what to do. So upright in the physical posture is so fundamental because it's a completely, how would I say this? It's not asking anything of our experience. It's just the way that we're meeting whatever our experience is. And this is a really, maybe the most important point for understanding. what Zen practice is, which is not about getting a certain kind of experience, but is about having a way with which we're going to meet whatever experience comes. And that's kind of a big difference. So the posture is not to get some experience. The posture is to be ready and open to what's coming. So next we practice our breathing or connect with our breathing.

[23:54]

And the foundation of our awakening, you could say, or just of our waking up in our life is connecting also with the breath. So when we're sitting in meditation, in zazen, the mind is with the breathing. breath can go all the way into the lower belly and come all the way out from the lower belly and when we connect with the breath like right now you might connect with the breath notice what it's doing and remind it that it can be deep and calm and smooth As we've been practicing breathing, we've especially emphasized the exhalation.

[25:07]

Inhalation is pretty good. It's like being alive, you know. Wow, it's kind of a miracle. And in that inhalation, you know, brings all of this freshness and we can feel like we're born new, fresh with this inhalation, bringing in freshness and light and and coming to life in the inhalation. But as I was, you know, as I was feeling, was reflecting on the Buddhas, just the Buddhas quitting everything. And it feels like an exhalation, right? Just like, ah, I'm just going to sit here and be myself. I'm going to stop trying to be anything else. Or get anything else. That feels more like an exhalation. Relief, right?

[26:10]

Do you inhale with relief? When do you inhale? You inhale maybe when you're shocked. You don't have to be or do or know anything. So that exhalation, the letting go, is the special emphasis in our breathing. Suzuki Roshi says that calmness of our mind, that peace, is just past the end of the exhalation. Just let yourself let go completely in the posture with the exhalation. So then the next point of this kind of overall posture or being of Zen practice is this warm heart.

[27:16]

It's, you know, just like when we care for the posture and the breathing, we, you know, you're totally invited to do it in as rigid a way possible. But also there's a way to invite our body into the upright posture that's natural and that's kind of like a relief. It's sort of how the body wants to sit. It's not forcing the body to be upright. It's reminding the body that it thrives and comes to life in upright posture. It's kind of its nature to be upright. And the same with our heart. So it's not like, warm your heart. You should have a warm heart. So you should have a warm heart. Okay. I love everyone. Noticing the posture that our heart is in.

[28:28]

So our body is in a posture and our heart is in a posture. All the time. And a lot of the time we don't notice it. It's a little bit subtle. It's kind of like, you could think of it as kind of the filter or the lean, you know, that is sort of coloring everything that we experience. You know? When your heart is kind of closed and cold, then everything is a little worse. You know? And when your heart is warm and open, then everything's a little better. Hopefully you notice that. It's worth noticing. Because I think this kind of attitude we have in our heart is like maybe the main thing that's determining how our day goes, but we're not really noticing it. How is your heart? So we sort of, just like we check in with our belly and our chin and our breathing, we're checking in with your heart. Again, not telling it what to do, but just like, hey, heart.

[29:33]

I'm in here. Thanks for looking. So coming into the heart, you know, feeling the kind of posture of our heart or our attitude towards the being alive. If our heart is protected, you know, hurt maybe, hurt and protected and slumped and cold. So we can just tend to that. We can notice that and it'll warm right up. Always happy to have our attention. This warm heart is, I think, part of what has made Suzuki Roshi's teaching so lasting and important in

[30:36]

in the transmission of Zen to the West. So I want to read a little bit about what he says about this warm heart. Even though you sit, trying to have the right posture and counting your breath, it may still be lifeless Zazen because you are just following instructions. You are not kind enough with yourself. You think that if you follow the instructions given by some teacher, then you'll have good zazen. But the purpose of instruction is to encourage you to be kind with yourself. Do not count your breaths just to avoid your thinking mind, but to take the best care of your breathing. you are very kind with your breathing, one breath after another, you will have a refreshed, warm feeling in your zazan.

[31:48]

When you have a warm feeling for your body and your breath, then you can take care of your practice and you will be fully satisfied. When you are very kind with yourself, naturally you will feel like this. a mother will take care of her child even though she may have no idea how to make her baby happy. Similarly, when you take care of your posture and your breathing, there's a warm feeling in it. When you have a warm feeling in your practice, that is a good example of the great mercy of Buddha. A strange, wonderful comment. When you have a warm feeling, about your breath and your posture, when there's a warmth in your heart, that's a good example of the compassion of the Buddha. The Buddha is the intimacy of everything.

[32:57]

That intimacy of everything manifests as this warmth, this warm heart. So the warm heart you have now in your own practice is like what the Buddha's compassion is. It's this warmth that's in the posture. It's the warmth that's welcoming whatever's here with an attitude of kindness. Does that make sense? I feel like an aspiration of your heart. So, you know, sorry, this is not such an exciting talk. It feels important now and then to just remind ourselves about the way to be a human being in a way that's whole and beneficial and not crazy and harmful.

[34:01]

And so to me, these points are like the beautiful expression of that basic way that we each have available to be a human being aligned with how our nature, our heart, our inmost request actually longs to be. But it's not as exciting as like getting in line or something. So he says... So we put emphasis on warm heart, warm zazen. The study of this warmth again is study your coldness. Notice your coldness. Driving your car, can you be warm? Warm heart, walking. Warm heart, typing. It's the same day that you have to get through. Why not get through it with a warm heart? We put emphasis on warm heart, warm zazen.

[35:02]

the warm feeling we have in our practice is enlightenment or Buddha's compassion, Buddha's mind. So there may be somebody here who wants to be enlightened. I know of at least one who has my compassion. if you wish to be awakened to what our life is, rather than looking for some cool thing that you're going to get if you squeeze the right spiritual muscle, how about look to the warmth that you feel towards your own breath? That, Suzuki Roshi, our great teacher, is saying that is the enlightenment, the warmth that you have towards what's here. is like the functioning of that wisdom of intimacy.

[36:04]

It's worth studying. It's a deep point. So then the last two points of this teaching are to have the mind empty so that there's intimacy with the ungraspable reality that is what's here. So again, from the passage I opened with about the Buddha's awakening, remember he says, the Buddha forgot, completely forgot everything. He had nothing in his mind at that moment. When he saw the morning star rising up from the east, it was the first thing he saw coming out of his empty mind. So somehow, again and again, in the Zen tradition, there's this understanding that

[37:06]

to be intimate with or one with or totally open to our surroundings, it's helpful to have the mind be empty. So then because there was nothing in his mind, the morning star came up and the morning star was the only thing. And so he was intimate. He shared his feeling and the morning star shared its feeling. So the point, as I say again and again, the point of emptying the mind is not that the thoughts are bad. It's that there's reality here asking for us to be intimate with it.

[38:07]

There's light and sound in each other. There's something happening here that's interesting and that's asking for you. And if your mind is full about something else, it's going to be hard to really give yourself to that. So he says, because we have so much useless rubbish in our mind, it is hard to share our feeling or share our being with people, with things, with trees or with mountains. Even though we are right in the middle of the woods, it is hard to appreciate the feeling of being in the woods. Because our mind is full of other stuff. He talks about like the sale, you know. When does the sale end? Is it still Cyber Monday? That's, I mean, there's no problem with what's in your mind.

[39:16]

It's just, if you're walking down the path at Green Gulch, thinking about the sail, you're probably not as alive with the trees and the sound of the earth and the feeling of the air, that intimacy with your actual life, with what's here. So, you know, emptying the mind and being intimate with what's in front of us are in this kind of dynamic. And we can practice quieting the mind, letting go of anything that's extra in the mind. And then we become more intimate with the space that we're in. Like right now, you could try it. If there's something in your mind, you could let it go. And then you become a little bit more connected and intimate with... the feeling of being alive in this space. Or you can just feel yourself drawn into the intimacy, like when you're talking with someone that you care about, you're not trying to empty your mind, you're just interested in what they're saying, right?

[40:30]

So your mind kind of empties of other things. You know, there's this image of like the... chick pecking from inside the egg and the hen pecking from outside the egg. It's kind of like that. You could work on emptying your mind to get, you know, to get through the shell and into the intimacy. Or you could just listen for the intimacy and let that quiet your mind. So this is our practice of whenever we can, just letting go of whatever extra thing is in the mind so that we can... As Izuki Rishi says, resume our actual self that includes everything. The being alive that you are has everything included. It's everything included. So this quieting the mind,

[41:36]

emptying the mind in order to be open to the miracle that's happening here, has this kind of top layer of, if you're thinking about something else, you're probably not so present for what's happening in front of you, right? And then more fundamentally, it has this quality. So when Suzuki Roshi says, the Buddha completely forgot everything, That's a little deeper than just like the Buddha wasn't thinking about the sail, you know, like just the sail on chariots or whatever the Buddha was into. It was more like forgot everything. So Suzuki Roshi says, forget who you are and where you are and how long you've been there. That's a good teaching for deep into a Dharma talk.

[42:38]

Forget where you are and who you are and how long you've been here. Long time. Long time is a strange idea. You know, breathing out and breathing in. You can't really say anything came before. This kind of deep forgetting. deep forgetting of everything you know, you know, there's the top layer of what's in our mind, the wandering thoughts, but then there's these more deep views about who we think we are and when we think we are and what we think the world is. And this practice of really opening to the mystery and the miracle of what's here is this invitation for us to at least like tiptoe up to, which is, can we just forget everything, everything about what we think? You know, I'm a human being at Greenwood's Farm at 11 o'clock.

[43:42]

Forgetting everything is to come into the embodied, ungraspable experience of being alive, which doesn't really have an inside or outside. Just everything included and intimate. It takes a while to come to trust that. So we can just try it out little by little. Just let go of like one thought. And see, was that okay? And I'm pretty sure it will be. And actually a little better than okay. Like a little better. And then maybe you'll get used to it and say, ooh, I want to let go of another one. And another one. And then pretty soon you drop...

[44:44]

even the idea of who you are, where you are, and how long you've been there, and you just are life itself, and find that you can trust that, that you didn't have to give away some important thing about yourself. You just are still yourself, but not so confused. I want to share one more expression of this kind of principle, of this dynamic, of emptying the mind, and being intimate with what is. And that's this line that Zen Zhu Osho recently pointed out in a Dharma talk from the Xin Xin Ming, or Song of Trusting Mind. If you want the way to manifest, I don't know what that is, but I do, the way, the truth of our life, right? if we want this way, this intimacy, this mystery, this full aliveness, this wholeness to manifest, then hold no opinion for or against.

[45:53]

So when I'm having a wandering thought or when I'm really kind of sure who I am and where I am and what time it is, I'm not so intimate with the way, with the ungraspable reality of this person crazy thing of being alive and likewise when I have some opinion about it how crazy is that to have an opinion about this thing that we fundamentally have no idea what it is and can't grasp hold of it with me you're like I know what it is But, you know, when we practice letting go and touch, oh, this thing is not, we have this famous expression, you know, in our Zen practice, not knowing is most intimate. The not knowing, obviously with a person, not knowing, kind of not being so sure who they are is the most intimate.

[47:00]

With objects, with our surroundings, with ourselves, not knowing is the most intimate. So when we're in this kind of intimacy, what would the opinion be based on, you know? The opinion is a kind of like expression of the knowing. And then Zenju said the most wonderful thing, which I've been reflecting on and really grateful for this way of holding the teaching, which is, it was kind of an aside, but you said, it's not that you can't have an opinion. Read the line. Read the sentence. It doesn't say, you are not allowed according to the Buddha to have an opinion. It says, if you want the way to manifest, then don't have an opinion. Opinions aren't forbidden. You can have an opinion. Nobody's trying to take away your opinion. You can keep it. Thank you for that.

[48:03]

Thank you for that. That's the Buddha way. The Buddha way is not trying to like coerce you or like demand that you do something or give something up. If your opinion's important, you can have it. It's just, it's hard to have it. You should please study this. I've been studying this in detail and it's been fascinating. I can have an opinion and I have lots of them and I want to have a lot of them. Some of them I'm really cherished. I think like the world needs me to have this opinion. I actually believe that about some of my opinions. Because I think that actually this opinion is what's making me a good person. and what's making me helpful to the world. And if I let go of this opinion, then I wouldn't be... What would my morality be based on? How would I live my life? That's a kind of fundamental delusion that I couldn't just trust my life to my innate, warm, intimate heart. I need to filter it through my opinions and then look to my opinions. Opinions that came out of my warm heart, but now instead of looking to the warm heart for my action, I'm looking to the opinion, which is like...

[49:07]

various levels removed from the ground of that morality, the ground of that love. Anyway, it's hard to do two things at the same time. It's hard to have the opinion at the same time as the way manifesting. So I think I should be able to do both of these things. And I think a mature practitioner maybe could have an opinion and also feel oneness with things. So I've been trying, but it's kind of like each time I have the opinion, like, nope, I'm back. I'm over here. It's over there. And I don't like how it is. So maybe you can kind of step back and see that as also just part of the field, you know, of what our life is and not be confused, not be caught by that. But most of the time, it's like I have the opinion and I'm alienated from my being alive. Suzuki Roshi says, If you have some opinion about something, if you know something about something, where are you standing?

[50:12]

You're standing outside of it. You're separate. You're standing outside of the universe. And so you're a ghost. A ghost with an important opinion. So you can be a ghost and have an opinion. Or you can be right here in the ungraspable intimacy of being alive, but you don't get an opinion. But... It literally, honestly, is your choice. It sounds like a trick or like there's an agenda there, but it really is your choice. So I just feel that warm invitation. Then wait, I want the way to manifest. I don't want to feel this alienation and this separation and this distance from what's around me. I'm going to let go of my opinions, and then that's kind of back. And I don't have to hold to that. I can let go of that. The teachings are very clear, like... don't hold on to that oneness. That's almost even worse than holding on to the two-ness. In fact, it's definitively worse. Better to just hold on a tiny bit to the... Better to hold on a ton to the two-ness than to hold on even a tiny bit to the oneness.

[51:23]

Anyway. So, if you want the way to manifest, if you want to be intimate, And be yourself. That includes everything. It might be helpful to let go of your opinion and your view about what this being alive is. And in that moment, something flowers. And then the next moment happens and you'll have some more thoughts and opinions and you can let them have their life and it's no problem. But then if you ever say, I wish the Buddha way would manifest, you know what to do. Take the posture of being upright. Find your breath. Warm your heart. Empty your mind. Open your eyes and your sensation, your pores to this intimacy with what's here. And the teaching is that practicing in that way brings benefit to yourself and to others.

[52:26]

And so that's always the spirit of our effort. May this study and practice not just give us a kind of good feeling, but actually radiate and extend some benefit to the world of knowing and suffering and confusion and hatred and greed. There's time for a comment or two and then we'll close. there are any sorry to go on so long opinions maybe we'll close before opinions start thank you very much for your kind attention thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center

[53:35]

Our programs are made possible by the donations we receive. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click Giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[54:00]

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