Good evening. When we were going around the work circle and everybody was introducing themselves and saying where they came from, it stirred me in a couple of ways, just the utter variety of places we've come from. And then in Zen, where do you come from? It's like a double meaning, you know, like, where do you come from, Palo Alto, but like, where do you come from, you know? And thinking of all the different people, all the different tributaries, all joining the same river that flows into the great ocean. And thinking of, you know, the folks coming out of practice period, You know, so this is busy. This is buzzing, you know, and then people coming down from the city to be in the quiet of Tassajara.

[01:10]

People who come every work period, you know, to meet old friends and get into a familiar routine and people coming for the first time. And then all the different reasons. Coming because you love to work, get to do some carpentry without having to bill your time and deal with customers and inspectors. Maybe we should cut that out of the room. And I think in the midst of all of our personal reasons, there's another reason.

[02:20]

It's something about belonging, being part of... something larger than ourselves, something about... We're gregarious creatures. This sense of community, of joining together in a common purpose that's not based on competition or self-aggrandizement or achievement. that hints at something about belonging to everything and everything belongs to us and belonging to the earth. Something about, you know, this is a place where right in the middle of everything is the zendo. This is a place where right in the middle of doing

[03:25]

We practice non-doing, undoing. It's like there's two truths. There's the truth of a unique personal life and the agendas it creates. And then there's another kind of truth, a truth that flows through us all. whether we realize it or not. Is this light enough? Can you hear okay? Yeah. So that was an introduction to a koan I'd like to read, which those of you who've been around Zen will know pretty well. It's Yunnan and Dao Wu. So I thought this was appropriate to work period. Yan Yan is sweeping and Dao Wu says, too busy.

[04:33]

And Yan Yan says, no, there's one who's not busy. Dao Wu says, oh, you mean there's a second moon? And Yan Yan holds up the broom. And then there's a little comment on that, very intriguing comment. Without upset, no solution. Without struggle, no expression. So in one way, too busy sounds like a pretty straightforward admonition, you know? Don't be too busy. And it's a wonderful admonition. Do what's in front of you.

[05:37]

Pay attention to what you're doing. Don't cut your finger, burn your wrist. Don't cut the board an inch long or an inch short. Don't stub your toe. Pay attention. be grounded, be present, meet the moment fully. Yeah, it's a wonderful admonition. And it even extends into the broader scope of our life. In Dante's Inferno, it starts off by saying, in the middle of the forest, I woke up, and discovered I was lost. We can stay busy in our lives. We stay busy and we don't feel what we feel and we don't touch, we don't connect to that greater sense of being that I think in a way we've all come here to experience, to be part of.

[06:51]

So that kind of busyness too. So the momentary busyness and then something about this activity is just part of greater being. This activity is part of the whole activity of Tassahara. How you're cutting these carrots is what supports Tassahara and keeps it being Tassahara. And of course here we get a wonderful expression of that, right? Because those carrots go into the lunch soup and everybody eats it. Everybody's nourished. You know, I think for many of us in contrast to our usual lives, they are more separate. The points of connection and the obvious interdependence of our lives is just not so evident.

[07:54]

And yet this quote, without upset, no solution, without struggle, no expression. And I want to read you a poem. This poem is called The Anti-Love Poem. Sometimes you don't want to love the person you love. You turn your face away from that face whose eyes, lips might make you give up anger. Forget insult. Steal sadness of not wanting to love. Turn away, then turn away at breakfast, in the evening. Don't lift your eyes from the paper to see that face in all its seriousness, a sweetness of concentration. holding a book with a hand that's hard-knuckled, wood-scarred fingers.

[09:01]

Turn away. That's all you can do to save yourself from love. So we hear the admonition, you know, too busy. And it's marvelous because when you're working, and your crew head comes over and says, I didn't ask you to do it like that, I asked you to do it like this. What do you do? Do you contract? Do you pull back? Do you argue? Do you feel quietly resentful? Or can you enter in? Can you take that up? Are you here to prove how wonderful you are, or are you here to be part of greater being?

[10:02]

And can that be close enough that it comes up in the moment of upset? When it comes up in the moment where someone's saying something you didn't particularly want to hear, Or maybe you don't particularly agree with. A different kind of busyness. The busyness that's born out of holding on to something. Even your own diligence. So maybe Dao Wu is asking Yunnan about this. How are you sweeping? Are you sweeping... Is your mind chattering? Are you kind of all spaced out, just raising dust? Okay. Are you sweeping in a way that you're being moved by, you're being driven by your sense of how it ought to happen?

[11:16]

You know, we can come here to be quiet. And then you can watch yourself do a task and watch all your old strategies come back in. Okay, the most efficient way to do it is this. And if I do it like this, I can have this done by lunch. Or whatever your strategies are. I'll make this last three days. I'll go really slow. It's just another way to stay busily inside the web of your own constructs, you know, and lose connection to that greater being. So too busy, you know, it has a lot of variation to its request. It's everywhere from stay grounded on your feet.

[12:25]

Keep your body present and aware. Move from your center. Don't lift something the wrong way. Pay attention to the knife when you're chopping. We're vegetarians, we don't need your finger in there. When your mind runs away, notice, pause, release with the exhale. It's important to remember the basics always apply. Every period of Zazen, every day of work every interaction you know we always start with the basics and then this more subtle you know is there a grasping you know what happens when the supervisor says that's not it

[13:40]

How long is it that it takes you to notice that? Do you turn in the moment? Or do you feel resentful for the next week? To explore what is that way of being in the world? What is it to turn away from love? What is it to come here and want to be part of a greater being and then resist it? Zen practice is not saying, just like this wonderful admonition is saying, it's not saying, oh, well, that's wrong. It's saying that is a catalyst. Your resistance, your turning away from love, Your moment of resentment when your supervisor says, that's not what I said.

[14:52]

It's like that moment of contraction teaches you something about expansion. That moment of disconnect teaches you something about connection. What is the mind? What is the heart? What is the way of being? that allows that teaching to be illuminated? This is the first question of the koan. What is the mind, what is the heart, what is the way of being that allows the disruption to create the connection? It allows the upset to open up to equanimity. How do you sit with that?

[15:54]

I mean, do you sit and think, okay, I know what good zazen is and I'm here to do it. What is it to go beyond that kind of busyness? What is it to live a life beyond that kind of busyness? This is a good life and I'm going to live it this way. And then Yan Yan says, know that there's one who's not busy. So maybe in a conventional way, you could say, these two guys are kind of trying to one-up each other, you know? Aha, you're doing it wrong.

[16:55]

Well, that's what you think. I know I'm doing it right. Know that there's one who's not busy. The disconnect teaches us how to connect when we bring awareness to disconnect when we see the proposition the state of mind the way the interaction is being conceptualized related to when that becomes evident when that's exposed then something about the busyness starts to dissipate. And we learn something about not busyness. So in a way we can say these are complementary.

[17:59]

As you engage in your busyness, butt up against something, let it be your teacher. Let it teach you. Know the one who's not busy. In Zazen, when mind is rattling away, learn something about rattling away. What is that urge? What is that urgency? What's the feeling, the disposition the engagement that's pushing up all those images, all those thoughts that's creating its own drama.

[19:02]

What is that? And how can that be held in a way that it's simply not so busy? Is it about letting the belly soften? Is it about letting the shoulders drop? Is it about a great patience with the human condition? Like when I read this poem, you know, the anti-love poem, I experience it as extraordinarily tender. We so much want to love and we're so paradoxical in our ability to reject the person we feel intimate with or the people we feel intimate with.

[20:06]

Someone told me recently, they said, my partner of 40 years just left. many stories, how many interactions, you know, how many engagements, how many connections and disconnections. You know, this is a human life. This is what we bring to the cushion. Each of us, something amazing, something utterly powerful, to sit there with reverence, for our own being and for all being. To sit there and discover how do you let a life blossom? How do you let it bloom? How do you deeply investigate the difference between finding a new and improved way to be busy and tasting, savoring, appreciating

[21:23]

the very stuff that a human life is. When we bring that kind of appreciation, the urgency of our rattling around becomes intriguing. It's like, hmm, look at that. Look at how I'm replaying that incident that happened at lunch. Look at how I'm plucking out of today three unpleasant instances. Why didn't I pluck out three pleasant instances? Is it that annoyance is more familiar, that I'm better versed in it than gratitude? Does it accord more with some sensibility I have about being alive?

[22:29]

Every period of Zazen is the Genjo Kahn, the Kahn of being alive. Every period of Zazen is this play between too busy and knowing the one who's not busy. every period of zazen is discovering how to sit zazen how to be the person you are it's discovering how to liberate and then we get off our cushion and we go to work and every interaction you know whether it's you and a two-by-four, you and a broccoli, you know, you and a room to clean, you and your crew head, you and the people you're supervising.

[23:38]

Each interaction, each engagement brings forth the same coin. What is it to not just be busy? What is it to know not being busy? Know there is one who is not busy. And then Dao Wu says, you mean there's a second one? You mean there's a right way to do it and a wrong way to do it? Yeah. Dogen Zenji, the finder of this style of Soto Zen, he says, get so into what you're doing, forget yourself.

[24:47]

Except he said it in Japanese. But that beautiful phrase, forget the self. Total engagement, forget the self. And as we explore what awareness is, what mindfulness is. In our own exploration, we contrive something, and then we keep practicing with it, and then we'll get a feeling for our own contrivance. Oh, this is mindfulness. It's being like this. You should always keep your eyes done. Or whatever. You should always speak softly. You should always move slowly. Or whatever your admonitions with regards mindfulness are.

[25:49]

But I would say, you know, we need to live through our own contrivances. We need to live through our own best efforts, because that's how we discover something greater. But if you set up a good and a bad, that flexibility, that adaptability, that when something's exposed, we learn from it in contrast to You just become a little bit more rigid or self-righteous. No. No, that's not the way you do it. I know I'm right. And then after 40 years you leave. Something about

[27:00]

making our effort, which is this wonderful combination. It's coming out of our karmic life. It's coming out of either gross or subtle preferences. It's coming out of some construct of what practice is and implicitly what it isn't. Two moons. It's this and it's not this. Is that so? But we live in a dualistic world. We do something and we don't do something else. So we practice, we give it our best effort and we don't We don't become dogmatic, rigid.

[28:03]

It's an experiment. Today's working hypothesis on practice is this. Let's see how that goes. In Zen we have an expression that says, one continuous mistake. We make our best effort, and when we fully exert it, we discover what that creates. I'm going to make a perfect soup that makes everybody happy. And then you discover what a beautiful attitude. As long as you realize it can make everybody happy. There is no perfect soup. We're not practicing to have some exquisite success. And yet, there's something beautiful about wishing to make a perfect soup.

[29:13]

There's something beautiful about wishing to make the whole sangha happy and feel nourished. And beyond that, there's something about that kind of diligence and dedication that reveals what we're at, what we're about. Okay, well then, I won't bother trying to make a perfect soup. I'll just do any old thing, and I won't even notice whether people like it or don't like it. because I don't even like making the soup, I'm bored, and I'm just waiting for my break. It's another kind of busyness, you know? It's a kind of hedging your bet, you know? I'm not going to invest myself in this, so it doesn't matter how it turns out.

[30:14]

We do what we do, you know, you take on the project you're given, and you do your darndest, you know? Whether it's just, you know, pulling the weeds out of the gravel or whether it's, you know, making a beautiful gate. Someone on the gate, they made an enso on one side and then a pine stitch on a rakasu on the other. Yeah. Do your best. Pull out the weeds the very best you can. Make the gate the very best you can. Make the soup. Yes, we assert a dualism, and in asserting a dualism, we go beyond dualism. We bring forth a full effort and discover something from that.

[31:34]

And then Yun Yan holds up his broom. When it all comes down to it, what can we do except be in this moment? We are actually here to do a whole bunch of projects. We're going to do this and [...] this. We are getting the place ready for guest season. That is what we're doing. there is work that we want to accomplish. But with what mind, with what heart, with what form of attitude and engagement do we do it? And this is what sparks the Dharma.

[32:42]

At the end of work period, we could tick off all the projects. But so what? So the guests could come and they could have, but so what? Is that what they come for? If we can spark something inside of ourselves, if we can spark something inside of each other, some greater sense of being. It's my notion, that we feel it, you know? It's my notion that when you enter a space, pick up an object, taste a meal that was made with a powerful presence, you get it, you know?

[33:47]

I think there's something palpable This is how we save all beings. This is how we act as a catalyst for the sparking of the Dharma. Then that person carries something with them. We are gregarious creatures. We influence each other. We connect to each other. And as we do that, what do we want to flow through that connection? What's the message? In our world now, in our society now, what is it we want to offer?

[34:52]

What is it to think of ourselves such a powerful being that I can contribute to the well-being of others what is it to think of ourselves to take ourselves seriously enough to hold ourselves with enough regard to think how I make this soup really matters because this soup nourishes the mind and hearts of and beings of bodhisattvas, of people who will enter the world and illuminate it. Okay, I have five more minutes. 8.30, right? Yeah, follow the schedule.

[36:02]

It's just gonna do that. The anti-love poem. Sometimes you don't want to love the person you love. Sometimes you don't want to be the generous, spacious, sincerely dedicated person you are you just don't it's sometimes the reasons obvious and sometimes it's utterly mysterious no it's like some great force some great mystery has swept you up into its arms Then what do you do? Sometimes you don't want to love the person you love.

[37:10]

You turn your face away from the face whose eyes and lips might make you give up the anger. Forget the insult. Steal the sadness of not wanting to love. Turn away, then turn away at breakfast, in the evening. Don't lift your eyes from the paper. To see the face in all its seriousness. A sweetness of concentration. Holding a book with his hand. Hard knuckled, winter wood scarred fingers. Turn away. That's all you can do. To save yourself from love. So we sit zazen to live enthusiastically in the midst of one continuous mistake.

[38:13]

We pay close attention to the moment and discover more and more subtly and deeply all the ways we veer away from it, all the ways we impose something upon it. Zazen is not the perfection of sanitizing that interaction. Zazen is waking up to that interaction. Zazen is discovering right there the karmic energy of our life is sparking with its connection to some greater being. That's what Zazen is. and we discover it through our devoted attendance and connection to the moment. That's how our life wakes up.

[39:22]

We do what we do like we really mean it. We don't stay busy and avoid the impossible question. We jump into it and wrestle around with it and make glorious mistakes and discover all sorts of amazing and wonderful things. We come to work period. We come with some personal agenda. Hey, this is a lot better deal than coming as a guest. Oh, I'll just go down to Tassajara and get away from the city madness.

[40:26]

Oh, I'll go through work period. I don't want to, but it's part of my practice. whatever the agenda. It's the energetic stream of our karma meeting the dharmakaya, the vastness of interbeing that goes beyond the ideas and concepts we want to fit it inside. And they meet each other. Dao Wu says, are you just going to stay busy? Are you just going to stay busy through this amazing thing and not notice what's going on? Is that what you're going to do? Are you going to come here for a week, two weeks, a month, a year, five years, and just stay busy?

[41:30]

Or will there be a moment where there won't be busyness, where something cracks open and the nature of existence comes forth with full authority and expresses something beyond concepts.

[42:04]

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