This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzz.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. I was not expecting to give the Dharma talk this morning until yesterday. Abbot Steve and Leslie said, go ahead and give the talk, Tantosan. So I said, okay. It's so nice to see Abbot Steve up and about. He's been unwell. I hope that you'll continue to do what's needful for full recovery.

[01:03]

But nice to see you. I want to begin by thanking and acknowledging my teacher, Sojin Mel Weitzman Roshi. for inviting him down here. I can't lay claim to missing him any more than the rest of you do. It sure was great to have him here with us. And also to say that my talk is just to encourage you in your practice. That's the only aim I've ever had in giving a talk. And I would like to dedicate my talk this morning to my sister Dorothy, who lives in Midland Beach, Staten Island, New York.

[02:06]

On the great road of Buddha ancestors, there is always unsurpassable practice, continuous and sustained. It forms the circle of the way and is never cut off. Between aspiration, practice, enlightenment, and nirvana, there is not a moment's gap. Continuous practice is the circle of the way. So, these are the opening lines from Ehei Dogen's Shobogenso Gyōji. Gyoji is usually translated, anyway. Kastanahashi and Mel Weitzman, Sojun Roshi, translated this fascicle for Enlightenment Unfolds and subsequent complete translation of Shibugenso.

[03:13]

And they translated it as Continuous Practice. This word shows up in the title of a couple of books. that are important to us, like the Sōdō-shū's Gyoji-kihan, the standards for practice, and Tsugen Narasaki's Sōdō no Gyoji, continuous practice in the Sōdō. This is a very elemental concept in Sōdō Zen. On the great road of Buddha ancestors, there is always unsurpassable practice, continuous and sustained. It forms the circle of the way and is never cut off. Between aspiration, practice, enlightenment, and nirvana, there is not a moment's gap.

[04:18]

Continuous practice is the circle of the way. So, here we are in day three of our nine-day sashin. Yesterday was silent day, no talk, just settling, settling, settling. Very good. When I first came to Tassahara, I had Doka-san with Sojun Roshi in his famous Doka-san hut at Berkeley Zen Center just before I left

[05:22]

to come to Tassahara, and I was all kind of fraught, excited, sincere. I said, Sojin Roshi, how should I practice at Tassahara? He said, just follow the schedule. So I'm liking this schedule because I don't like it. I'm liking it because it's tough. I'm liking it because it's giving us all something to practice with. Speaking of Sojourner Roshi, I thought, I was thinking how wonderful for the Aja these past few days to have this opportunity to take care of her teacher in this way.

[06:29]

What actually, what a wonderful opportunity. And something similar happened to me in a sasheen at Berkeley once, some years ago. And it was a multi-day sasheen, five day or seven day. I can't recall. And Sojan Roshi has this office at Berkeley Zen Center, and it's like a sort of miniature apartment or bedsit, which he shares kitchen with Ross Blum, who lives in the apartment behind him. And there's actually a little bed there. And during Sashin's, you know, he'll stay there. And I was thinking... Anyway, I was at Chisha Anja. I was thinking he'd want to go back to his house in North Berkeley. But no.

[07:31]

No, he just took to his bed right there at Berkeley Zen Center and did the session from there for a couple days. And it was wonderful to take care of him in that way. At one point, I had to... go to the Walgreens. It was about a block away. So I walked to the Walgreens. I was a fairly newly ordained priest at this point. I walked to the Walgreens in my robes, and everyone in the Walgreens was so nice to me. I thought, oh, that's interesting. Maybe that's just Berkeley. And then we decided to go to Kaiser, which has a drop-in clinic.

[08:34]

So I, you know, Jisha, please drive me to Kaiser Oakland. So we did that. I drove him to Kaiser Oakland and went to the clinic to get checked out. And the session director, while we were gone, announced to the assembly, Sojan Roshi has gone to the hospital. Everyone freaked out. What? Then he had to, like, backtrack. No, no, no, it's okay, it's okay. He's all right. It's just a drop-in clinic, not the ER. But it was wonderful that, you know, Roshi did seshin, actually, completely. from where he was just as Yogan Roshi has been doing this session completely from where he is I think that's quite wonderful and this is continuous practice there's a

[09:56]

Gyoji is actually the longest fascicle in the Shobha Genzo. It's so long, it's divided into two parts. Gyoji part one and Gyoji part two. That's what they're called. And there's a bit of Dogen, pure poetry, talking about how he understands continuous practice. A Circle of the Way. And then many, many stories. Many amazing stories. Some I think you won't read elsewhere. About our Buddha ancestors. I've been studying it for quite a long time. Certainly, it's way too much for just a single Dharma talk.

[11:02]

It could be a whole practice period, talking about Gyoji, which actually it was one time, a practice period led by Abbot Paul Haller at City Center, was the theme of the practice period, was this fascicle. Many, many stories. And I've come to a conclusion that I hadn't really considered before, that in many ways this fascicle is about Dharma transmission. So a lot of the stories are transmission stories. They're stories about teacher and disciple. This circle of the way that is never cut off can easily be related to transmission documents that Dogen studied in China and that he brought from his teacher, Ru Jing, from China to Japan, which have continued to be transmitted down to the present day.

[12:12]

In fact, many of you, if you've received the precepts, have one of these documents. It's called the Ketchum Yaku, the blood vein. And it is continuous, red line. That's the blood vein. It's continuous and it forms the circle of the way. All our practice between each other and linearly throughout time the Buddha ancestors. So It's been pointed out to me that we're more than halfway through this practice period. I was a little surprised when someone mentioned that to me.

[13:14]

I'm not even sure I believe it now. But anyway, provisionally I believe it. Allegedly, we're more than halfway through this practice period. And later on, we'll have our mid-practice period event, also known as skit night. But I think something that happens around about this time in our practice period is we have all kinds of little mid-practice period events. Many discreet, joyful, or painful mid-practice period events. And sometimes things get a little messy.

[14:24]

I didn't mean to say that. But how could you have understood that? No, you don't get me at all. But I never meant to say, but anyway, things happen. We're all practicing so closely, so intimately. Sometimes people get hurt. I don't think it's the intention of anyone in this valley. I don't think anyone came to Tassajara with the intention, when I get to Tassajara, I'm going to hurt people. That's my practice intention. No, I don't think so. Nonetheless, it happens. It happens, you know. Sometimes things get a little messy.

[15:26]

Can you bear it? Can you bear the unbearable? So, I just picked out a couple of little choice bits of Shobho Genzo Gyoji to share with you. The first is Dogen relates at length the story of Bodhidharma. coming from the West, and Bodhidharma's main disciple, the disciple that he ultimately gave the Dharma transmission, the rogue and the bull, Huayka. Famous, famous story about Huayka and Bodhidharma. Huayka is so sincere in his aspiration to practice with Bodhidharma, he comes to Bodhidharma's temple and stands outside the gate, in the snow.

[16:31]

This is sort of related to our tradition of Tangaryo, actually, you know, waiting, waiting to be accepted, waiting to be acknowledged, waiting to receive the teaching and demonstrating the sincerity of your aspiration. So, That's what Huayca does, you know. He stands outside the front gate of Bodhidharma's temple all night long. And it snows all night long. And as the story has it, Huayca gets covered in snow, actually, because he's just standing there while it's snowing. And Dogen says, at dawn, Bodhidharma took notice and asked, what do you seek? Why have you stood in the snow for so long? Shedding more tears, Huayca said, All I wish is that you compassionately open the gate of sweet dew in order to awaken many beings.

[17:43]

Bodhidharma said, The unsurpassed, inconceivable way of all Buddhas must be practiced hard and consistently for vast kalpas. You must bear what is unbearable. But if you wish with small virtue, small wisdom, and casual, arrogant mind for the true vehicle, you will toil in vain. Severe. Yeah. Bodhidharma, not messing around. you must bear what is unbearable. How do we bear what is unbearable? Sashin is a really good time and place to study that.

[18:53]

The admonitions, the Eno reads, There's something about clarifying our intention as we go into Sashim. What is it we're really doing here? As Sojan Roshi said in his last class, you know, it's not our intention to drive people crazy. Didn't he say something like that? I seem to recall. Nonetheless, Things might get a little messy. Nonetheless, you might find I have to bear what is unbearable. How do I bear what is unbearable? Basically, I've had this experience where I'm sitting...

[20:02]

Oh, you know, like maybe day three, like today, or day four, or day infinity. You name it. And I'm like, don't move. Don't move. Bell hasn't rung yet. Don't move. I can't stand this. I can't stand this. I can't do this. I can't do this. Don't move. The bell hasn't rung yet. I can't do this. I'm going to run away. I'm going to leave. The bell hasn't rung yet. I can't do this. I cannot do this. I can't bear this. This is unbearable. I really, literally cannot do this. I can't do this. Oh, I can't do this. Oh, that's right. I can't do this. I don't do this. The bell still hasn't rung. I don't do this.

[21:03]

I can't do this. This is just what's happening. Something like that. It's an idea I had. So I'm going to share another story with you about Zhao Zhou, great master Zhao Zhou, Chinese old Buddha.

[22:12]

Dogen says, Zhao Zhou became abbot after receiving Dharma transmission in his 80s. This was correct transmission of the true Dharma. People called him Old Buddha. Those who have not yet received true transmission of the Dharma are lightweights compared with Zhao Zhou. Those of you who are younger than 80 may be more active than Zhao Zhou. but how can you younger lightweights be equal to him even in his old age? Keeping this in mind, you should strive in the path of continuous practice. Cao Zhou once said to the assembly, if you do not leave the monastery in your lifetime and do not speak for five or ten years, no one can call you speechless. Even Buddhas would not know what to make of you

[23:15]

Zhao Zhou expresses sustained practice in this way. You should know that not to speak for five or ten years may have the appearance of being speechless, but because of the merit of not leaving the monastery, not speaking is not the same as being speechless. The Buddha way is like this. One who is capable of speaking but doesn't speak is not like an ordinary person who has not heard the voice of the way. Thus, unsurpassable continuous practice is not leaving the monastery. Not leaving the monastery is total speech that is dropping off. Most people do not know or speak of going beyond speechless. No one keeps them from speaking of it, but nevertheless, they don't speak of it. They do not discover or understand that to go beyond speechlessness is to express thusness. How regrettable! This voice is not known to the self, not understood by the self.

[24:42]

You should learn to treasure each moment of sustained practice. I'll repeat that. You should learn to treasure each moment of sustained practice. Do not assume that not to speak is useless. It is entering the monastery, leaving the monastery. The bird's path is the forest. The entire world is the forest, the monastery. So that's a lot. That's a lot about not speaking. I don't know about going beyond speechlessness. If that ever happens, maybe someone will let me know. I don't think it's happened yet. But how do we understand this quietly engaged in the sustained practice of not leaving the monastery?

[25:55]

Don't leave the monastery. Actually, don't leave the monastery. Just don't leave. Stay put. For five or ten years, he says. Quietly engage in the sustained practice of not leaving the monastery. Do not be swayed, east or west, by the winds of east and west. Do you know about the eight winds? This is something that shows up in Buddhism from time to time. I think it's actually Chinese lore, maybe Confucianism.

[27:12]

I'm not sure. It shows up in a sermon by, a very famous sermon by Nichiren Daishonin, who lived about the same time as Dogen. And the name of that sermon is The Eight Winds. Nichiren said, Worthy persons deserve to be called so because they are not carried away by the eight winds. Prosperity, decline. Honor, disgrace. Praise, censure. Pleasure, suffering. They are neither elated by prosperity nor grieved by decline. The heavenly gods will surely protect one who is unbending before the eight winds. So, maybe in Sashim, you might feel the eight winds blowing about.

[28:23]

You might feel some of your stories, some of your conditioning, mental and bodily, in various ways, these winds blowing with some force. My teacher, Sojin Roshi, says, don't let anything move you off your seat. This is not leaving the monastery. Don't let anything move you off your seat the not too long ago just what a couple weeks ago not even the eight winds came with some force on the east coast super storm Sandy Hurricane Sandy

[30:00]

It made landfall on the New Jersey coast, right around Atlantic City, and pretty much devastated vast sections of the most populous part of North America. My sister Dorothy lives, or used to live, still owns a house in Midland Beach. Staten Island, which is two and a half blocks from the beach. Lovely little house. Just got a couple of dogs and three cats. Had a nice life there. Nice neighborhood. Nice people. Easy to walk to the beach, and the dogs surely did love the beach. Do love the beach. And then... Hurricane Sandy came and well demolished her house and pretty much demolished her neighborhood the tidal surge of the night yeah I guess it was like about two weeks ago because this is the new moon now and it was the full moon it was the full moon

[31:33]

when it made landfall because it was a full moon tidal surge. And the water was 11 feet tall. So she said it was like above her head, like kind of the top of the walls in her house. And she put some stuff in the attic, but basically, you know, her whole house was like all just... mud and mess her whole neighborhood a couple of houses in her neighborhood burned and there was a whole neighborhood in Queens that burned Far Rockaway I think but she said well I got a green tag on my house meaning she could go back in and when she went back in you know here was this mess oh my gosh What a mess. Just, you know, the floodwaters lifted everything up that could float and set it down again.

[32:40]

Everything was everywhere, all her belongings, everything that she hadn't put in the attic or walked away with. It was just this huge mess. So she saw that, and then there's been a lot of help A lot of people have been helping each other out. I'm sure in a lot of neighborhoods, but certainly in her neighborhood, she said, lots of volunteers came. So I was speaking to her just a little while ago, and she was telling me about it. She said, yeah, I've been back to the house again a couple times. She said, well, the volunteers took everything out. And I said... Well, wait a minute. I thought that already happened. You told me your house was cleaned up. All the junk got carted out and everything was like put into dumpsters and taken away.

[33:45]

And she said, no, they took everything out. The walls, the floors, the cabinets, the appliances, everything. Oh. I see. But she still has a house. The wiring might be good. She's going to have an electrician look at it. She says, she told me, it's a new world for me. Kind of sweetly, you know. She was on television. There was a TV news crew. going around following these volunteers. And she got interviewed for the TV news. And she seems pretty equanimous.

[34:56]

Kind of, you know, it's a new world for me, she says. It's a new start. A new house. I said, Dorothy, sounds like you weren't blown around by the eight winds. She said, well, I was a little bit blown around by the eight winds. A little bit blown around. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty sad. Pretty sad. But, you know... That's also part of don't let anything move you off your seat, right? When something does move you off your seat, come back. Sojourner Roshi says that's really the measure of your practice. Not that nothing ever moves you off your seat, not that nothing ever rattles you, not that you...

[36:02]

never get upset, never get bothered, never have difficulty, but do you come back? How do you come back? How do you come back? A. H. Dogen makes this very radical statement in this fascicle. He says, even if you might try to ignore it, in order to hide a crooked intention and escape from it, this ignoring would also be continuous practice. Wow. Interesting. Interesting statement. Even if I'm deluding myself, In the midst of my self-delusion, there's still continuous practice.

[37:04]

What does this point to? It's something beyond myself, something beyond my limited self, my stories about what's going on. Even if I might try to ignore it, I willfully, you know, I'm going to willfully say, nah, practice. Actually, I did that. I did do that in my life, and hide a crooked intention and escape from it. This ignoring would also be continuous practice. I remember a long, long time ago, before I left Zen Center the first time, Richard Baker, Zen Tatsu Baker, gave a talk once and he said, even if you quit, if you give up on practice, if you leave, there's a little Buddha, there's a little monk inside of you.

[38:11]

A little monk inside of you that's still practicing. I thought that was quite silly at the time. But then I left. And then I thought I wasn't practicing for a long time. But it seems as though there was a little monk inside of me that was practicing all that time. That seems to be the case. I'm not sure. I can't say for sure. From my limited view, I can't say. What can we say about what's beyond our limited view? Not much. This is going beyond speech. Not leaving the monastery is total speech that is dropping off. Most people do not know nor speak of going beyond speechless.

[39:18]

Well, yeah. How can I? For the sake of convenience, we talk about way-seeking mind. It seems to be the case that there's something that wants us, that's calling us into the circle of the way. Continuous practice that actualizes itself is no other than your continuous practice right now. I'll repeat that. The moment when it is actualized is called now.

[40:35]

This being so... Your continuous practice of this day is a seed of all Buddhas and the practice of all Buddhas. All Buddhas are actualized and sustained by your continuous practice. Your continuous practice of this day is a seed of all Buddhas and the practice of all Buddhas. This is something we can really study during Sashin. This is something I think we can really sink our teeth into, so to speak, during Sashin. During seshin, volunteers might come and take everything away.

[41:47]

And after they take everything away, more volunteers might come and really take everything away. Really take everything away. The walls, the floors, all cabinets, the appliances. It's a new world for me, she told me, not without some joy. so interesting. Learn to treasure each moment of sustained practice.

[42:56]

This sashin is a rare gift. This practice period, this ango, this peaceful abiding, is a rare rare gift please don't take it for granted please check your feelings of entitlement at the door Let's all learn to treasure each moment of sustained practice. This is a very rare opportunity Your continuous practice of this day, this day, is the seed of all Buddhas and the practice of all Buddhas.

[44:33]

All Buddhas are actualized and sustained by your continuous practice. Can you believe it? Wow. Wow. I think that's all I have to say this morning. I want to again thank Abbot Steve and Leslie for inviting me to address you and thank you all for your patient listening. I wonder if anyone's got a question. I just... Yes, you were. That's a wonderful practice.

[45:44]

When you worship Jesus, worship Jesus wholeheartedly. When you stop worshiping Jesus, stop worshiping Jesus wholeheartedly. Yeah. You know, it's an interesting question because Dogen seems to be pointing us to the absolute, you know? Like, maybe it's impossible for us to not be participating completely in this machine.

[46:58]

Is that what you said? Participating... Continuously in Sashin. Yeah. Like I said, I've really, for example, for example, I've really been appreciating Abbot Steve's continuous participation in this Sashin and feeling it. really feeling it. So, I think, [...] we can't necessarily know what it looks like. You know? By golly, I'm going to open this book again. Cha-la-la-la-la.

[47:58]

The effect of such sustained practice is sometimes not hidden, therefore you aspire to practice. The effect is sometimes not apparent, therefore you may not see, hear, or know it, says Ehe Dogen. So, you know, I hate to do this, but I think I have to turn the question back to You check in with yourself. Am I participating continuously in this session? How is my continuous practice? And don't think necessarily that you or others can evaluate that. Just do your best. It's a little absurd.

[49:16]

You know? It's... We just do it for its own sake. Like Hakuin talking about Foolish wise men filling a well with snow. Why? Why are these foolish wise men filling a well with snow? You can't fill a well with snow. The snow keeps melting. We just do it. We just do this practice. you'll get encouragements of the same. There are many gifts. Yes, Zach?

[50:22]

I'm just wondering about how you interpret it. It was towards the end of what you read. So he talks about staying at the monastery for five years or ten years and remain speechless. And I'm thinking, oh my God, I can barely think about the rest of the practice. And I feel like most people here will not stay at the monastery for five or ten years. And I don't know if anybody will remain speechless for five or ten years. But then at the end of what you read, just sort of like puts it in there where he says the bird's path is the forest the entire world is the forest the monastery thank you I actually had it in mind to talk about that and I had this whole idea of talking about

[51:31]

Proposition 34, actually. But the director says my talks can sometimes be like kitchen sink. I put too many things in there. I think it's valid criticism. Maybe the tanto said it and the director affirmed it. I've been thinking about death row a lot. I've been on East Block. They gave me a bulletproof vest. And I wore my Rokasu over the bulletproof vest. It was intense. Anyway, it seems like a majority of Californians are still in favor of having that status quo continue, even though we don't seem to be actually executing anybody.

[52:59]

It seems like a majority of Californians think it's a good idea that we continue to have a place called Death Row. California's I don't know, 700-something condemned. But we're all condemned. We're all condemned. It says so on the Han. I said in a staff, Chosan, a year ago, death row is right here in Tassajara. and Tassajara is in death row. There is continuous practice going on in San Quentin. We are not separate. This is the bird's path.

[54:01]

It goes through steel bars, stone walls, metal detectors, It goes everywhere. If it didn't, then it would not be the circle of the way. Right? So, going to East Block and... putting my rock suit on over my bulletproof vest is not leaving the monastery. Staying true to your intentions, staying true to your vows is not leaving the monastery. Yes?

[55:05]

Yes. Thanks for asking that. It's a very serious point. But still, you shouldn't leave the monastery. Curtis. This moment fully includes past and future and is independent of past and future, right? If you say so. The other day, we were at a conversation and you described that when you had a wood-burning stove, you described your... looking at the wood and describing that and deciding which wood to take based off of what tree it had been and what type of fire and ash you thought it would turn into. Yes. Yeah. So I have a question. It's clarifying your response to Idison's question. So personally, I spent 16, 17 years heavily involved in the United Methodist Church.

[56:08]

And it affects me today. very positive ways. I never use the terminology worshiping Jesus in my own terms, but whatever my practice was, I did wholeheartedly. And when I left that church, I can't excise those years of development and formation as a person and as a spiritual being from me. And so the comment of stopped worshiping Jesus, stopped worshiping Jesus wholeheartedly. I wonder how can we stop doing something wholeheartedly when its effects last on? You know, Ides' stopping worshiping Jesus wholeheartedly, it includes the effects of her previous worshiping Jesus wholeheartedly. It certainly includes that.

[57:09]

Find yourself where you are, right? At this moment, find yourself where you are. Your self includes all the karmic conditioning, all the stories, all your history, all your cultural assumptions, everything. Everything is invited to the party. When we sit, we sit with all of it. So, yeah, no, you can't discount that. And I can't discount my going out to nightclubs every night for three or four years. There's all kinds of history. It's what brought us here, ultimately. If your past, your past, amazing story hadn't played out the way it played out you wouldn't be here right now obviously I think this is why we love our way seeking mind talks so much they're just so great you know so diverse so many interesting divergent stories that brought us here together this assembly of bodhisattvas

[58:43]

actually been practicing together for many lifetimes. So it includes that. Wholeheartedly includes that. You can't exclude it. You cannot. I beg your pardon? He said, certainty is, as it were, a tone of voice. Certainty is, as it were, a tone of voice. Yes, it doesn't bear anything on whether or not what you're saying is true.

[59:47]

There's a pressure to your voice when you read certain things, and I feel it too when I'm sitting in my seat, like, here I am today, now is the time, and so on. I really feel that. Mm-hmm. or the way I'm carrying myself, but it doesn't mean necessarily that it makes my thought any more cruel. I don't know if that's the case or not, but I guess, for me, the question is about when, for me, something like arrogance starts to make sense to promote that. And that's the thing I'm trying to disentangle. Keep investigating that. That's the good kind of doubt. You know, that's not corrosive doubt. That's the good kind of doubt. Keep investigating that. Yeah. Yeah, that's a danger. That kind of certainty. That kind of certainty has gotten a whole lot of religious leaders and a whole lot of societies and cultures down some interesting paths.

[60:58]

Don't be fooled. What do they say? Don't put another head on top of your own. Yeah. Michael. I'm just curious about the question Zach was asking about the not leaving the monastery to speak. This is something that is really just analogous to practice continuing anywhere. Now, why is he threw a time limit in there about 10 years? You asked Xiao Zhou. But it seems good to me. this way forever for the rest of your life.

[62:04]

He says, if you do not leave the monastery in your lifetime, this is quoting Zhao Zhou, if you do not leave the monastery in your lifetime and do not speak for five or ten years, no one can call you speechless. Even Buddhas would not know what to make of you. In his office. On the little bed in his office, yeah. Is that the answer of what would not be continuous practice or what would not be doing this machine?

[63:09]

Is just not doing what you're doing wholeheartedly? What do you think? I'm not sure. I think being wholeheartedly also seems like it would be a part of practice. Mm-hmm. Me too. So if I just chose to... Sorry, I didn't use your question, but it's your question. So if I just chose to half-heartedly fortune Jesus... And then I just chose to kind of linger in and out of my church. Not really commit to it, but kind of show up for the socials. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This would not be homework in practice. Yeah. But it would also seem to be in the definition of practice. Whatever. You know, it's like, so I'm just trying to look at this as everything practices, everything continues to practice, or what is this?

[64:18]

Yeah, no, it's a really good question. This is the question that we have to resolve for ourselves, actually. This is the question we have to resolve for ourselves. Bodhidharma says, if you wish with small virtue, small wisdom, and casual, arrogant mind for the true vehicle, you will toil in vain. strong speech. But, you know, that's what I have to check out. You know, at some point in my history, I was like, this existence is empty. And I changed. People change. So, you have to be

[65:21]

careful you have to be scrupulous and investigate carefully you know what is wholehearted practice for me right now yeah your continuous practice of this day this day day three of sashim in good old tasahara. It includes all that other stuff. But, yeah, how is it right now? I think that's the main thing. There's not a pat answer. It's checking out what's behind the breastbone. Come back.

[66:44]

This is Zen training. This is really, that's the good part. It's what Dogen called the skin, flesh, bones and marrow of Zen training. It wouldn't be Zen training if it didn't get messy sometimes. If it wasn't hard sometimes. If you didn't sometimes feel like I have to bear what is unbearable. I really appreciated what Abbot Steve said on the talk on the first day. Here in your mudra, in your hara, in your body, can you return? Can you return to the center? Can you hold it there?

[67:49]

Can you stay present there? When the eight winds are blowing like hurricane force, when they blow you away, you just come back. That's all. Over and over again. That's what makes it continuous practice. Yeah, it's not all bonbons. But there might be a cookie later on. For encouragement. They say enlightenment is everyday rice and tea. But I say enlightenment is we get a tea and a cookie in the afternoon. You got to be in your seat if you want your tea and cookie.

[68:52]

That's true, Ryan. Do you think the heart actually can tell the difference between a doubt that is wholesome versus corrosive doubt? I think that we have to keep practicing with that question. It's like tuning a guitar. Listen. Listen. Listen. Keep listening. Check it out over and over again. There's no certitude. There's no like, yes, no. It's refining. Refining your practice. Refining your life. Refining your intention. Clarifying your intention. as we say in the Sashin admonitions, if I'm not mistaken.

[69:56]

Yes, Emily? You got it. Amen. Yes. Yes. Wow. You had me so with you, right? Yeah. Yes. That's exactly right. Your practice is for others. about the what yeah there's all kinds of practice going on seen and unseen don't necessarily think that you can evaluate it it's kind of interesting there's lots of hidden bodhisattvas working tirelessly to awaken us oh yes

[71:29]

Cecilia. I was thinking about that verse that you read about . Yes. And you can't see where the bird... You know, the bird doesn't leave footprints in the sky. The bird's path is traceless. You can't see where the bird has been. It's completely traceless. And your practice in the world is like this also.

[72:38]

Okay. Well, maybe on that happy note, we'll go on to the next thing. Whatever that is. Zazen. Zazen. Oh, okay. I was thinking Outdoor Canyon, but the episode is Zazen. Okay. Fair enough. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click Giving.

[73:44]

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