Not Always So Class

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i love to taste the truth about to type services
the evening
he had a pleasant personal day

huh we were in the middle
the one called changing your karma
page twenty three i thinking
consider your she was commenting on the teaching of the buddha that as rather and restrain your many desires while receiving food and drink accepted as medicine
do not accept a rejected based on what you like or dislike just support your body's that avoid starvation and thirst as a b and gathering honey tastes the flower but does not harm its color said so brethren you may accept just enough of people's offerings to avoid distress don't have many demands and thereby
a break their good heights
wise men for example having judged the capacity of the animals strength do not wear them out by overloading them

made a storm or instead of sitting up
to restrain your many desires is not really a man of vigorous small many or few the ideas to go beyond desires to have few desires means not to the our concentration among too many things to do things with oneness of mind with to hearted spirit that is to have few desires
while receiving food and drink accepted as medicine this means to be concentrated accepting it with your whole body and mind without any dualistic idea of you and food
so we receive or accept food rather than saying we'd take food
taking us more dualistic accepting as a more complete activity
may think that to take us a more complete action than to accept but according to buddhist teaching to grasp or take food does not include complete acceptance because it is dualistic you will create karma
you may wish to grasp it because some other person wants to take it so you must be very quick but when you receive it already you have it and if you accept it with great appreciation thank you very much that is what buddha means as the true activity of restraining her desires
do not accept or rejected based on what you like or dislike
again to accept the rejected this ways to listing
this kind of teaching does not mean to have control over your desires if you want to control your desires you will struggle with how much to limit your desire so your food and that way you will make more problems one after another
you may even find some good excuse to have more food than you will lose your way
just support your body's and avoid starvation and thirst if you know how to practice size and then you will know how much food to take and there's no danger of eating too much or too little
as of the and gathering honey tastes the flower but does not harm its color or scent
this is a very famous apparently since when we take honey because the flowers beautiful the set nice we missed the true taste of the flower
when you are taking care of yourself and the flower you can have a direct feeling of the flour and taste it's funny
often we're not so careful
we may ruin a beautiful flower or may stick to a particular flower
if we stick to much eventually the flower will die
the purpose of the flower having honey is to help at the plant by inviting bees
so it is necessary to know whether we're like a beer like something else
when we're aware of the difficulties that we sometimes create we can extend our practice more carefully throughout our day everyday life
our minds should be more careful more attentive and more reflective
you may think our way has too many rules about how to treat things
but before you know what you're doing
you cannot say they're too many rules
so notice whether you're creating problems in your everyday life or creating bad karma for yourself and for others and she wrote you should also know why you suffer right now
there is a reason why you suffer and it is not possible to escape from suffering unless you change your karma
when you follow karma and dr com in a good direction
you can avoid the destructive nature of karma
you can do that by being attentive to the nature of karma and the nature of your desires and activities
as would appoint is out to know the cause of suffering is to know how to avoid suffering
if you study why is suffer you will understand cause and effect and how bad actions result in bad effects
because you understand you can avoid the destructive power of karma
as long as we have an idea of self
karma has an object to work on
so the best ways to mitt is to make karma work on the voidness of space
we have no idea of self karma doesn't know what to do oh where's my partner where's my friend
some people try hard to banish karma but i don't think that's possible
the best ways to know the strict rules of karma and to work on our karma immediately
if you know something is wrong with your car stop your car immediately and worth on it
but usually we don't have this is a minor problem for my car it'll still is still running let's go
that's not our way even though we can keep driving we should take care of our car very carefully
if you push your car to the limit the problems are constantly working on your car until finally it stops
now it may be too late to fix it and will require a lot more energy
so every day cares very important than you can get rid of your misunderstandings and know what you're actually doing
thank you very much
ah it's interesting because as dinner
ah you know studying some on nice
i'm say that the ceremony
and one of the things that rib said when he was
the money we were studying sega his ceremony together
he said another kind of ghost as all karma of body speech in mind that has not been done with full presence
if i die without having recognized that that's maybe a ghost for other people and i can't do anything to complete it
this the ceremony saki is to release the ghosts to help them burn up and complete their process this purifies us as the temple but this
karma karma dismiss action is karma of body speech and mind that's not been done done with for present sounds very much like but suzuki roshi his personal data in this talk about actions that we do with without attention to what the consequences might be
and
of course the actions the karmic actions which create result you can create consequences create the leave the energy still to be taken care of of those which are done
based on ah
self clean
the
as long as we have an idea of self karma has an object to work on
the best ways to make carmel work on the voidness of space is to work on
the emptiness of self the the lack of
of ah
oh
a substantial
no continuity of herself
ah
i was having a discussion group i can't remember what it was there was one person in the groom that whenever it was suggested that there was no actual continuity here
she actually she couldn't stand with amish just as the resistance it was just too much to think that there is not something continuous
happening right here
that is constantly arising fresh
as a result of the causes and conditions of this moment there's nothing continues to hold onto and it was very distressing every time i can't remember what we were studying together but it was talking about no continuity and it it just it it's just stack made her extremely
yeah uneasy whenever whenever he suggested no continuity yes do you think it's possible that he wants them
and that
can create a kind of energy that can exist in physical space after they die like such as goes through the guys
i don't know
have you had such experience yourself yes i've lived in unannounced
so give been on a house and farm so apparently the answer's yes there must be energies that continued i mean this this is actually what to but robust i went there there isn't
there's energy that continues after
people are dead
you know of it in in what you're holding on to
in the form of resentments or acting out in various ways
which you attribute to people who are already dead and gone
who is not true
or any of you influenced by thoughts related to people who are no longer among the living
i never a factory well that woman my grandma my mother's side he want committed suicide and ninety two and by we could cost averaging nine on psychoanalysis are really good here is kinda and
say ducks he hasn't very close
leaving him and if anything that still and out of network and and kind of connect this to
yes i'm not sure what you mean by now
said prophecy
and what sense that we're not we're not some fixed entity which continues moment after moment the understanding of ourselves as actually empty of own being and rising fresh on each moment in response to the causes and conditions of this moment which we call
i'm pretty to summit potter
somebody help me with the english just now interdependent go arising thank you see me like it was a threat to her
this is a threat to our sense of her own existence as a continuous person
i'm sick to see what happens like a soul was she wanted to have a self i mean
one woman in a so well for her that wasn't good enough
is it good enough for you yeah
the internet
ah there when i asked when i asked for you yes
at any i did sir
it's none it's not my favorite thought
i like to think that you know
there's certainly a part of me nice of think i was born on may eight nineteen twenty six and that's the same person than i am right now and will be for around much longer i have mean there is certainly a part of me that thinks like that and
that it gets a little shaky when i realized that this is not actually how we exist
on
i mean i am i understand her concern it was just that it was very mark and she couldn't even discuss it it was as too distressing
yes but even if the level of the pictures of himself
wow is that
going
i wouldn't happen in my brain in various places that cause the concept of a lack of company doesn't distress someone coming
if
because they're not actually understanding
moscow

i don't know what to do outside
yeah i threw that out there because i i just wonder how many of you actually give any thought to what
what the buddhist understanding of dependent quarter rising is actually saying you know in your own life somebody over here to and distrust of the
why don't we just turn it off for now and if i needed to read i worked on around
keep trying to find out what angle i can do this like so that doesn't distress people from creek
well yeah but then it was women as it was also as i see honking right now let's do that
ah
but are you aware of actions in your life which if left some an incomplete energy that still bouncing around and causing difficulties

what it wants to them
can try him
two to
yeah acknowledging that there has been actions of body speech and mind that have been done with self clean if you look at those kinds of actions will don't you know that there's some self concern and that the core of them

oliver

yeah yeah i i i recall a time when maybe i mentioned this already one ah all the new people would do way seeking mind toxin and on tennessee well that's not fair what about some of the old people don't way seeking main talks you know we don't know who you
are either so i said okay and i was thinking about it
ah you know i could tell the story of my idyllic childhood for i can tell the story of my deprived childhood or my difficult childhood and they'd both be true you know ah
and
you know it's it's not like that saw one way or another
but the
oh
there's no point in me getting stuck on either one of them because that's past someone asked me once in took what's wasting time you know it says on the hand don't waste time and it says in sandow chi don't waste time and in various places don't waste time
ah
i couldn't come up with much of an answer at the moment and then the next person that came in was talking about some resentment they had from childhood and i thought that's wasting time
whatever that is to hang on to this district old resentment and keep chewing on feet making making oneself miserable over what happened then is a wasting time and a how can we let go of those things and and face
face our life at this moment with some with some freshness how can we say this this is this is what happened in the past and i don't want to keep trying it with me because it's too painful
those things that i carry with men on radically has some basements and resolve driven movie that i'm not facing the second hold an this one piece with came from to nokia but not sitting with the other five they is
is he from a different way and it's when i can sit simpler
the and the other do you usually feel employees and their that i didn't want to go and i like i know who thought know the way when i get to the whole thing
it's my experience with
old feelings are feelings that are held repressed feeling is they they don't pass until you feel them
but if you can actually allow yourself to feel the feeling the physical sensation of a feeling
ah you can begin to relinquish it if you stay in the thinking thinking about it as you say it kind of bills it's kind of keeps you keeps the engine going
yeah that does that mean time and space now it may need time and space now yes if you haven't felt the feeling and they're coming up than you need field of him you don't need to get into the story about them
ah and keep retelling the story
hum which is what we often do
ah
the world with mean you're feeling
in your body
ah break down the prize is to show no know if anger arises what does it say the great man from such as is if anger arises the monk says anger has risen so the first thing is to recognize it
the second thing is to see where do you feel it in your body
sometimes anger i feel and plants sure sometimes i feel it and clench start
sometimes i feel it in a closed hard
you know
i'm punk band actually feeling like physical sensation but but also part of that is just to be fully aware
but to be fully aware of what you're feeling not the story about whose fault it is what you gonna do bad to fix it whose fault it is his past but you gotta do to fix it is future what's happening now what's actually happening now what is the experience that you feeling in this moment not that you're thinking about but do you feeling
we're not so used to doing this so i'm not surprised that you kind of for your brown trying to figure out what i'm talking about
thinking of this happening and wondering what that what we're doing that for was i
the second francis it's an model results of the career you know there's no point feeling that right the visit
i guess we get your saying your experiences are you feel it in a good way
well i may have to give it a lot of attention i may have to keep breathing with it i may have a real not that does not want to open up i worked with one
ah
where my breathing was not flowing freely there was a real closure of at some point and add a physical location
and i kept offering my breath to it
and offering my breath to it and i realized i was offering my breath to it because i wanted it to go away
not because i wanted to be aware of it or take care of it or just be with it or feel it because i wanted to go away
ah and i asked oh i'm going to have to be willing it statements taken forty years to get there you know i'm gonna be willing for this to be here the rest of my life and everyone can be willing to let go of it either one has to be okay
either i have to be willing for it to be what it is and do what it does and just be with it as it is and not try to fix it you know not try to get rid of it or hold onto it but just
be with it and feel it and let it be what it is
ah not long after
i realized that
i'm just staying with it trying to really cultivate the willingness to have it stay or go
but just to be just to feel it it wasn't so very long after that that it began to open up but the first thing i had to realize was i was trying to feel it to get rid of it
no not really to really feel it but just enough to get rid of it
ah
when i talk about an experience like that i'm talking about like
two or three days of says shane i'm not talking about having a minute i'm talking about are sitting with a subsidy was missing
i hadn't at that time ah
it the image came to me it wasn't like granite
and then i remembered a photograph in a
and the national geographic
someone with a telephoto lens had photographed a ledge on a cliff face were there was an eagle's nest
and right above the eagles nest was a deputy in the cliff face that had been formed by generations the wing tips of generations of eagle mother's feeding their evil babies on that ledge
and so then i thought of each breath as a feather brushing this this a granite
ah whatever little in my in in my breathing
then then after doing that for a while i realized i was still i wanted it to go away i was doing this as a technique to get it to go away not as really feeling the sensation
and that's the point at which
ah i began to feel it in a different way
digression season mergers there is a happy ending with you like maybe you wouldn't go that's right that's right you're going on but rather than for your life will be there that's right that's right
rapper story of europe as state
one day comes out on these demons
which i've seen a various markers some doorway anyway
our enemies of the spirits of the plasma to use oil but there's still some that seven so and then he tried to open
love them and then all but a fuego
but fire resist
when say it's all the same to me and it's only when it gets that when they they'll fly away
so yeah but this is the same as eric was saying maybe
but it really has temperature
yeah
it's just what is just what it is is just what it is there a possibility that humans can give us strength awesome
the now give us strength for our compassion action
monero is that your experience
a comic books
perfect but no no no
ah i don't know i was getting a little speculative and
cerebral for me feel i i don't know
ah but
what what i do know is that if we hold on to ah
negative feelings
they continue to cause us pain
and only by just
did not not grasping them not not not clinging either way like clinging by pushing are clinging by pulling you know both are a kind of clinging
i think only in that in that way do they do they stop hurting us or causing us
causing us suffering or or causing us to do actions which may cause suffering to others as well
las vegas i've always found yeah yeah not
reading this and i'm wondering if an elaborate
the it
reading
david one
the indicated bit more than one
for you know
they've outlived
well i think that there is a something implied in what we've been talking about is that there is as long as our actions are
done with full awareness
the first lucifer actions are done with full awareness
ah
we
i'm not likely to produce ah
left over energy
because ah it's not like the precepts are some rules out there that we have to check in and see him it's like the precepts are into so if room fully aware of what we're doing we if we're about to do something that that is harmful will feel some hesitation
and we won't do it
ah
if we're acting was on
without full awareness we may find ourselves on doing actions that do have do have left over energy
ah
what we call it karma karma actually just means action
the technical word for the
results of action volitional action action
will selection actually done
by a self
on his karma and the the word for the resultant is called the packer but the way karma has come into the english language and i don't know how it is in europe how it's come into the to be used in other languages but the way come into the mansion we we speak of
it as if karma were the result or you've got bad karma like your ear carrying the result of bad actions from the past but actually the word simply means volitional action
so but action based on on a thought of self so if you're actually acting not based on a thought of self but acting
with full awareness in the moment ah you're not likely to leave left for her energy
because you'll notice
oh this is maybe not to do
ah are not to say
mom

i don't know if it's at all responsive to to with question
yes
he in recent time thing and was myself for my mind was no demon spawn
come into me in the strong way i do things like now
move mom taught me law is that thirty compose example
the fence into stealing and a strong and safina sensation this smell the site know what you're doing or cooking
the girl
i'm not suggesting you often is making news merkel's know
he's been working
repertoire thousand
he one
sycamore on on moving
have softened and you're aware and disappointing
is it works on your awareness also use decide and thousand please
yeah the trump or of a shame when he first came to this country was speaking at sunset or
and you know here
he smoked and he he also drank
and
ah somewhere towards the end of the talk someone said something about a you know what what good is it you know what good is it doing for all beings in a house exceeding all beings what you know
yeah just sitting in so answered
can i can't remember how at the question was blistered i made people are here maybe be two hundred and you've been here for
the most two hours and nobody's cause anybody any trouble and on it does not bear the
the
and then somebody else so ranting and and pursue for smoking and during all of the setting all these bad examples and so forth and i was walking down the hall with suzuki roshi after the talk he said fellowship citizen if only can people could see how his teaching them
as a licorice she appreciated trump or mk as teacher ah
somebody on people young and a case of your focus on muslim
so what seems so can coming up in its trappings and new beginning he gives the corner tiger catches in hospitals called strength
and performing actions and leaving a trace
from that in mind
the first know anything is but themselves become the said
the best ways to make karma work on the goodness of space and the problem is against up inside the fifth if even if you do stephen this collection
how does one practices and then it's the same with doesn't
you have this presumably goldman's practice can even put on a about what
can do
the open his apparent on what is it were trying to do that's the interesting thing
this is what is this what is this none doing that they talk about it
send all the time
ah
yeah this is this is her
this is a great question my son said to me quote mean no desires don't you desire enlightenment
no
i think
thing that i don't have i don't have a clue about what enlightenment is i think i desire harmlessness
ah
more than
more than anything else
but yeah to
i think what he's suggesting here is that ah karma comes from acting out of an idea of a separate self
ah
so all we can really do are all i know really to do is just to notice when that idea of a separate self arises
and
ah and be careful the
the
tom
but that's really all right i understand how to do ah
but i have some confidence
that if i'm paying attention
that ah
or the one i'm paying attention
harm doesn't seem to occur and what i'm not paying attention harm seems to occur
ah
that's just what i i notice i mean even if it says small harm still someone's feelings are hurt maybe just slightly but even so on
that the more i'm
present and aware the less likely harm it will occur
this is there some interesting to have to tell things as they arise for it was such out
yeah
since then
the position
mean what are you want a permanent fix
well
we were you mean by provisional onset and it seems like well since you can't do that well tiger useful in that's like the next best thing that can relieve the instruction
the at the same analysis and of a couple things like the ultimate teaching as well
you know what
the carnival
make
when they come awards i'm voidness as that's concerned to see how the transition in the system
well i think what he's saying there's still don't play yourself
as i say i the the only thing i notice to be aware when this when i notice the start of self horizon and and get cautious
get pretty sharp as my attention from i know islam
yes
had chickens once
his time
wait
a
a lot of stuff to knows that
hi i'm of
we have been some healthy and it seems like good intentions are harmless protection
and then again some energy
this one
the south a child will like it he look one
china shadow isn't awareness and i'm system of right
he
china to do so
i know
at going south
could never yeah and the earlier have about will you said their willful thing and that's exactly volitional action exact the and awesome
japan's
exchanges your ducts and he was here about story with an to story and it seems to me a to speak up for store in way
but i took mounted academics and i can just the tip
that sense that story i'm embarrassed that story that and that just these type of my kids and you can climb analysis
yeah there's also storing this the driver opens new new and and i get sometimes our nineteen thirty we were trying to find door locked
sometimes it's close before and i was telling a story of finding a needle
image him destroying often see what a lot i'm trying to caution against his
countering refilling refilling refilling refilling refilling and if you notice
let happening in your sleep in it i think
along with the lucrative of
this is
finding someone to blame
ha
we're finding some wannabe
can get even
or slain something they've got a dimbleby the teacher to take care of it
i should talk them and tell a minute or
or finding something in the past to dwell on and i think both of those things ah
hello
i'm marla
swing the both of those things don't take care of the energy that it's happening when attention to what's happening in physical sensations in your body can give you the opportunity to take care of what's happening
hum
with rates like some self reflection
yeah i think that's probably a fairly common experience ah
ah
but
right i'm a little curious about what's the importance of someone else hearing stolen

what about kind of any already answered that question
but you know in my experience
sometimes
it's easy approval winter
it's easier for me to have some
my response to my burning sensation uncomfortable
when i can get it out of my system in some way will be no where
have a compassionate fun
yeah i know that
in setting up locations were mostly where they needed was somebody can just sit and listen
yeah actually hear what was going on as them and this chart know
not so i don't know what to read about an and his
yeah i think is is that needs filling common and i think go
ah
if i think if i learned my job better in dukson i would listen more than i talk
i talked too much
no because i do think you're right i think that the most significant thing that happens in doxa and practice discussion is somebody is hear you
ah
am not judging
no
well shall we gotta start on the next one or are you think
aveva his previous month yeah
when you're being honest but
a terrible that didn't attempt
he puts it in their goal for dinner
and he thought this was such a great teacher was revolted by
use it but usually
you know
a separate
oh my gosh i remember extra it ah
ah
i don't think i don't know that i have anything to say bad and i a
i remember a time when the
we made some curry down here and when category roshi she was leading practice craig and it was too hot to eat
and
so it got diluted in the grewal the next night in a medicine ball and still have to eat and a bad time we used to make girl bread we would take the grewal and add flour and stuff and bake bread and sur cette so they put my girlfriend and the final he said you could throw it out
the
a third package
so ah
i don't know i'm not sure about geocaching the song was responding to whether it was a don't waste food or whether it was so
don't be naughty boys
trick
ah i don't know suzuki roshi speaks of him both in two ways one one way as being extremely strict
i said ah
that's why he calls he says i mean know everybody else ran away i was too dumb to run away on the other hand he talks about him with great love and devotion as having been wonderful teacher so
oh
i know of euro she talked about his teacher to in said it was so hard that he ran away from the from a mile from the temple and
a he
he was going up a road down a road somewhere ah
fell asleep and he woke up and what he saw it was the full moon
and he went back to the temple
ah so i don't know there's something about this hard training that both of them spoke of both that it was really really hard and
and there was something about around so that they really really appreciated
career roshi the story i love but category roshi and his teacher
i guess they must have just the two of them lived at the temple together remaining can he was he was served
he was as anja and he would prepare his his bath every night and you know in a small sample like that there is a the research
state in a temple like that with church and sign and i was visiting and so i was the guest and so i had to take the first bear so this is this copper tub with the own little wooden platform that kind of floats and at news and there's a fire underneath it
know it's a wood fire underneath it and
so you don't want to touch this has been
any i saw was his job to to make the fire and get the deathbeds ready and i had that experience to at green gulch we had a wood-fired on before oh for for matamoros and say although it was not a copper pot when i mean i feel like i was being cooked and
of being the guest i was i had to take the first bath because that that's that's hospitality but it had to be really hot so would be too cold for people who took bath after me so it was really hot
ah
but ah
he would prepare the bath and then his teacher would get in and he shall i scrub your back on
every day shall i scrub your back now
and but he just kept me i ought to scrap back to wonder he just picked up the luther where wasn't started rubbing his back
ha
but as long as he was asking as long as he just didn't do what was obvious
need in our list he asked permission know
but when he did it he clearly appreciate them
ha ha
very interesting
this this kind of this kind of very
oh
oh close
hanging out together with teacher and student
no we don't have so much and up to the new where were you live in a temple with your teacher may be new and two three other students and that said ah we don't have that happening so much
here
ah more temples
im name is on the northwest more teachers one this is always not really intrigues me because we have founding teachers
teachers who were like perhaps abuse jerks right but on the other hand he produce the teachers who produced will do now yeah so one while you are in bed your us and to you know like where are you using your teacher who will produce me
chi chi got back into a
now there's a serious question our approach is so much different than yeah yeah we deserve and i can think of it just wouldn't happen so hard i have hard pardon me worries that hard to be worried that something has been wants to be i don't know or that's that's what i've taught my with your soccer
and incidentally there is an issue of
of try cycle which catherine lent me which right now i'm left mayor ah i wonder catherine as we can put it up on the shelf for me as through that there are several different views of kiyosaki on a discussion of of it in try
i cycle in the section on practice ah
i might be interesting to to look at it
ah
yeah i mentioned that myself i have some concern about that and in that ah
ah there has to be some toughness in training to take away the kind of eagles supports that we hang on to
ha
and
ah
and that's not always mean that's always kind and compassionate but it's not always experienced as kind and compassionate
that is ah it's kind and compassionate because the longer we hold on the eagles supports you know the more we cling the ego and the more
pain we get ourselves into
ah
so
i you know you didn't you bring up a real question that i know i don't really know the answer to but time
yeah yeah i swear this isn't that the toughness and it has to be commensurate with the culture vince vince and so it wouldn't read that started back pickles yeah i know i say gambling site
really
really bad but you know and didn't have
one
they didn't have an effective
no walk in and storehouse of mood that we have here it as hurt you know if truck coming in and companies or good so if you have to linkedin the context for a month
really poor and everyone else was recorded on foot so i think that's a factor and so is he doesn't toughness in one situation doesn't translate exactly and rather so what what is it
i'm like for us just exactly how it was our schedule
this is pretty good then there's a certain toughness that
and where the any for live question that it has to be some it works for us and ethics yoshi and you ever seen and understood that and he was gonna do that kind of pregnancy know in history
well he he actually really struggled with whether to
have a large in wanna work with a large group as he was doing or whether to take you know with the handful of his closest students and go off somewhere with them on and just work with him and he struggled with this question even
well you know we've had times to and we were not as effluent as we are now i was questioned of cutting out the butter
that's right question of cutting out the butter is a question wood deciding we could not afford to get any nuts peanuts
never
no not we never went hungry that's right
except except the time that they got snowed in the you know you remember customer a ten zoe's are a lot of dry goods in september and october because and nineteen sixty eight when the road got obliterated there was not
a lot of dry goods and they were sort of eating split pea soup every day with whatever kind of bread they could make croutons from yesterday any other was there was about a month there were no
but not want now we are a lot of dry goods as that always stuff there yeah my want to
shocking his time has come to live without problems can be bought
this was my research
answer to the one months with an ongoing issue we're not
well the buddha in i broke with the ascetics that he was practicing with the fact we starve himself to death
the yeah
at first we're not gonna speak to him because he hadn't been strong and others and anesthetic