This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning, everybody. It's nice to see you all here. My name is Jiryu, a friend of mine remembers that by thinking of the word Cheerios. Jiryu. And I'm very happy to see all of these kids today. My name means, in Japanese, my name means friendly dragon. So it may be a little scary to see me up here, especially with my friend Mose, who you're about to meet. But please know I'm friendliest of dragons. On a good day. And something you may not know about sitting in front of a bunch of people, I don't know how many of you have sat in front of a bunch of people before.

[01:02]

What did you feel when you did that? Embarrassed, yes. Embarrassed and kind of scared. Kind of scared. Like if I talked to any of you by yourselves, I would probably feel pretty good and really happy to meet you. But when you're all together looking at me, It's kind of a lot. So when I'm scared sometimes, I turn to my friend Mose, which you might think is kind of interesting because Mose is actually kind of scary. I don't know how well you can see Mose or what you think Mose might be, but I know when I first met Mose, I was pretty dubious. I thought, this looks like a pretty scary creature. I would prefer if he pleased not be in my house. What does Mose look like to you all? A dragon?

[02:05]

A bird? Did someone say a monster? That is exactly right. Mose is a monster. Some people meet Mose and want to say that he's not a monster. So I have two little boys who live in my house with me named Frank and Dusty. And they're also good friends with Mose. And sometimes somebody meets Mose and feels that it would be kind of scary if we pointed out the fact that Mose is a monster. So they say, Mose must be a turtle. Mose is kind of turtle-like. But Frank, who is my son, who really, really, really does not like monsters, actually, was the first to tell people, no, this is a monster. Mose is a monster. So why would having a monster, something so scary as this, help me to not be scared and actually help Frank and Dusty in our house to not be scared too, especially at night? They stay really close to this monster at night and then they're not scared anymore.

[03:11]

It's kind of amazing. Do you know why that might work? That having a monster as a friend might help you not be so scared? Yeah. A companionship, yes, absolutely. What I've found is that getting to know a monster like I've gotten to know Moe's, it makes me realize that if I am scared of something, if I should happen to meet a monster, I'll know that I don't have to be so scared of monsters because I've actually made really good friends with one and if I ask the monster how it's doing and if it would like some snacks, I may get to know the monster and actually we might turn out to be great friends. So having made friends with Moe's, if I see something or feel something inside or see something outside that seems like something I kind of want to run away from,

[04:16]

Like, I kind of want to get out of town. Have you ever had that feeling? You see something or you feel something inside? No? And you just want to run away. Like, get me on a train, get me on a plane, get me on a rocket ship. I am out of here. Have you had that feeling? Well, that is an extremely interesting question. You might say, Now first, Moses, he's okay with that. He feels a little offended that you're calling him not a real monster. But the truth is, there are certainly some things that are good to run away from. Like if I'm walking in the hills here and I see a mountain lion, I'm running away. I am not waiting to make friends with a mountain lion. But the thing about a monster is... When we think something's a monster, usually it's because we haven't really taken the time to get to know it.

[05:19]

So if there's something really that I think is kind of monstrous, that makes me a little scared inside, what I've learned is that it's worth the time. I don't know if we're going to be friends for sure, but it's worth asking some questions. It's worth looking again and saying hi, maybe from a few feet away, and maybe offering some some snacks, maybe tossing some snacks in the direction of the monster. Yeah. Hot cocoa? That is an excellent thing to do with monsters. In fact, I have done that with things I'm scared of, things I'm scared of from the outside and things I'm scared of on the inside. Sometimes if I have a big scared or angry feeling on the inside, I sometimes sit down and say, would you like some cocoa? I'm going to just put some cocoa on the table here. And I'm going to be in the other room, and I'm going to peek in the door and watch you drink the cocoa. And then maybe once you drink the cocoa, I'm going to walk into the kitchen with you and stand by the door and ask you how you're doing.

[06:27]

So, cocoa, does anyone else have some ideas about how to make friends with something that might be scary? Singing a song. Maybe a kind of quiet... Quiet song at first. And then maybe the monster might start singing along. And then you realize when you look, like, wait, I call you a monster, but there's really nothing so scary. You're just another creature. Yeah, do you want to say something? Yes. See, what I've learned from Moe's is that I can make friends pretty much with anything in the whole world. It's not always easy, but if I try, if I'm really patient and generous, there's nothing that I can't make friends with, nothing on the inside that I can't make friends with, and nothing on the outside that I can't make friends with. And it turns out that's what the Buddha said.

[07:30]

That was the whole point of the teachings of the Buddha, which is who we appreciate here, especially at Green Gulch. The Buddha said, there's nothing and no one that you can't make friends with. So when you're scared, it's okay to feel scared. If you're angry, it's okay to feel angry. But it doesn't mean that you can't make friends eventually with that thing that you want to get away from right now. Did you have a comment too? Do I make friends with a real monster? Now, to tell you the truth, every time I think that I've seen a monster, when I've gotten to know it, when I've offered it cocoa, when I've gotten in the room with it, I've realized... that it's not a monster at all. It's actually someone as soft and lovable as Moe's. So the truth is, every time I think there's a monster, when I've gotten a little closer to the monster, I've realized there's no such thing as monsters. They're just all kinds of cuddly creatures of all sorts of shapes and sizes.

[08:31]

That's kind of what I've realized. is that if I go, I'm thinking most that there's things out there that are scary. I think that there's things out there that are scary and that they're really monsters. And then I don't get to know them. And when I don't get to know them, I still think they're monsters. And I leave and say, I just saw a monster. But when I get to know it, I realize it wasn't a monster because there aren't monsters because everything is just a friend who I maybe haven't made friends with yet. Two things in the world, my friends and the things I haven't made friends with yet. So thank you very much, all of you children, for coming today. I think it's a beautiful day outside, and it's kind of a shame to be inside. So some of us have to stay in for a few more minutes. But unless there's anything else one of you kids wants to say to me or Moe's, maybe we could go ahead and... Hi. That is such a good point.

[09:42]

If I see something... Every single day. It's hard to think every single day that it's a monster. I can maybe think it's a monster for a day or two days or a week. But if I actually start to spend time with something that scares me, I'm going to realize that it's not a monster. It's just a friend. It's just a creature who wants to be loved. Thank you for that. So please enjoy your day. If you can get to know something today that makes you a little bit nervous, or that doesn't seem right away like your friend, if you can wait a little while and see if you can make friends with it, that would be a lovely thing to do. So thank you all. I hope you have a really good time outside this morning. Thank you all for coming too.

[10:49]

Grown-ups are also welcome here at Green Gulch. How are you? Well, thank you for asking. A plant here. You know, for... For a time, when I first started practicing Zen intensively, the question, how are you, became kind of... problematic for me. If you're really open to what's involved in that question, how am I, it kind of falls apart, you know? So if you're doing too much meditation, it becomes a very difficult question to answer. So I'm happy to report that I can't answer that question again. I'm capable. 20 years later, I'm capable of answering the question, how am I, without making too big a fuss about the fact that I have no idea.

[11:53]

So I can say, you know, that I'm pretty good today, and I am. I do feel pretty good today. But I think there's something about the question still that's not, it doesn't feel quite right to me, that question of how are you. And I think what that's about is that how are you at least the way we hear it, you know, how are you what? Usually we mean, I think, or what we hear is, how am I feeling? How are you feeling today? So I'm feeling pretty good. But I think maybe a better way to understand the question or to ask the question is, how are you acting today? You know, or maybe even better, how would your friends say you're acting today? How would your spouse say you're acting? How would your supervisor say you are today? Or how would the people you supervise say you are today? How am I treating things?

[12:55]

How am I treating things today? And of course that's related to how I feel. When I feel good, I may treat things better. And when I feel bad, I may sort of throw things and people around a little bit more. But it's interesting to me what side of that we look at or really identify with most strongly. Is the most important thing how I'm feeling or is the most important thing really how I'm acting and how do they relate? So my New Year's resolution, as some of you heard, my New Year's resolution was to not be a jerk. It's not going great. But I still think it's a good idea, you know? I'm committed to the idea of not being a jerk. And I think it goes all the way down, you know? Not being a jerk. Like, to really not be a jerk seems like Buddhahood, you know?

[14:00]

The extent to which we understand, the extent to which I can appreciate and keep in mind and understand Buddha's wisdom, is the extent to which I cannot be a jerk, really. Everything is impermanent, so don't be a jerk. Everything is empty and interdependent, so don't be a jerk. The three worlds are only mind. Don't be a jerk. And especially maybe all beings are Buddha. All beings in their nature are Buddha. And there's no need to be a jerk. And this jerkiness, you know, that I can feel and that's sometimes reported to me from third parties can be with respect to things as well as people. And that's part of what I want to talk about today. I can be a jerk to my friends. I can also be a jerk to the sidewalk, you know, or the dishes.

[15:09]

Our late avid Steve Stuckey would often tell the story of his study with Harry Roberts, a teacher raised in the Yurok tradition, who said something like, saw Steve walking around Green Gulch, actually, and said something like, why are you so angry at the earth? That even the ground we can take care of by our walking, or we can sort of be unkind to the ground as we walk. So in Zen, in Soto Zen, especially this style of Zen that we practice in this temple, there's a term for this kind of diligent taking care of things. And I want to say some more things about this very simple practice of total taking care of things. The term in Japanese is menmitsu no kafu. And I've been thinking about it as I also think about what's kind of a parallel word that we may be more familiar with, which is the word mindfulness.

[16:16]

So there's a lot to say about mindfulness, and some of us here have been studying mindfulness and how it fits into the larger Buddhist tradition and how we may want to use the word and what some of the limitations of the word also might be. And there's a lot to say about that, but one of the things I'm appreciating, today at least, about mindfulness, this practice of just paying attention non-judgmentally to whatever arises, noticing what's happening. It's a completely transformative practice of just being there for what is. Noticing. what's happening without chasing after it or pushing it away with full attention and being aware of each thing. So this is a kind of life-changing practice to take on, is mindfulness.

[17:24]

And also the way we talk about mindfulness does sort of sound like it's about what we feel inside. It's this kind of feeling of attention or feeling of mindfulness, it's an inner-centered practice. So alongside that, parallel to that idea, I'm thinking of this menmitsu no kafu as a kind of outer practice, or a how-are-you-acting aspect of this attention. And this really is, in Soto Zen, As a meditative tradition goes, I think many people are surprised, as I was, as we deepen our understanding of this sotozen practice, to find that really there's this kind of overwhelming emphasis on outer manifestation, outer action, and less emphasis than we might imagine on what the inner feeling is.

[18:30]

We think meditation, and this is an old idea, especially in our culture, that meditation is about an inner feeling and not so much about an outer behavior. But Soto then flips that a little bit and not so much concerned with like a feeling of enlightenment or a feeling of presence. It's not so much the emphasis. It's nice to have a feeling of presence and it's probably nice to have a feeling of enlightenment, whatever that would be. whoever would feel that. But in Soto Zen, at least, it's more about the activity of enlightenment. It's not the feeling of enlightenment. Enlightenment isn't some inner mental state, it's an activity. Or acting present, the activity of presence, rather than just the inner feeling of presence. The words we use in Soto Zen really

[19:36]

point to this, you know, we don't talk as much as some other traditions do about things like seeing, seeing and knowing and realizing. We talk about enlightenment in Soto Zen, but we don't so much talk about seeing enlightenment or knowing enlightenment or realizing enlightenment. We talk about embodying enlightenment and manifesting enlightenment, enacting enlightenment, expressing it. And if that's maybe easy to understand, it may be difficult. One way I've been thinking about it is with the word love, right, or our concept of love. Usually when we talk about love, it's kind of clear that it's an activity. There's an expression of love. Love is something that's expressed. And in a way, it's inseparable from its expression. We don't talk about seeing love.

[20:40]

Maybe we do sometimes. I see, you know. The point of love is that we're doing love, right? Not that we're seeing love. It's not like I am. It's not an inner experience. or equally it's an outer manifestation. Does that make sense? I think there are some songs about this kind of thing. You seem to feel you love me, but what are you doing? How are you treating me? I feel this about my kids. Who could I love more than my children? But it's not about a particular feeling. I have all kinds of feelings about them. All day my feelings about my children are changing. I won't reveal too much there on how far I can go. But it's all kinds of feelings involved.

[21:42]

The love that I have for my children is not a feeling. It's not a certain feeling I have. The love is in the taking care of... The love is that I take care of myself. That's where the love is. And then the feelings may support that. But it's interesting, I think, useful to emphasize this other side. We're kind of mostly pretty self-centered and inner-focused, but looking at something like love or even something like enlightenment as about an activity in the world. So this... menmitsu no kafu is this expression that's used to talk about sort of the style of the lineage of sotozen, our family tradition. And I've been looking into some ways that it's talked about and just want to share a few. You think you'll see there's a kind of a cluster of words around what this concept is pointing to.

[22:45]

So it's about attention to detail. somebody translates it as continuous intimacy, or intimate attention, or being soft and subtle with respect to things, or thoroughness, being thorough and careful and scrupulous even, attention to detail and kind of minutia. And if you've spent some time at it, then, you may be familiar with the minutiae element that's part of our lineage, part of our tradition. It also has this aspect of tenderness and friendliness and wholeheartedness. So not overlooking things, not mistaking things, but being really careful and precise and accurate. Suzuki Roshi says simply, it's to be very careful and very considerate.

[23:50]

So this kind of total diligence and thoroughness in taking care of things and people. So we emphasize, you know, how you hold that teacup. An extraordinary amount of time is spent talking about how to hold the teacup. As an expression of this kind of care, how do we care for How do we care for the things in our life, the things that are our life? How do we bow? And in the kitchen, especially, there's a long tradition in Soto Zen of emphasizing kitchen work. That's sort of a place, as we work in the kitchen, where this precision and diligence and thoroughness can really be enacted clearly. You can treat things carefully. in that field is very conducive to this practice of treating everything with total care.

[25:01]

So, you know, in that environment of attention to detail, there is a kind of occupational hazard that some of us also encounter, which is a kind of over-formality or rigidity, even, about how things are done, or a kind of preciousness, right? So this attention to detail, I think, it's not about rigidity, and it's not about being precious in some way. It's also not, you know, when we say precision and sort of attention to detail, it's also not mechanical, you know? Precision seems like some kind of laser-cut... I was looking at the blossoms, you know, on the plum trees here at Green Goch. That precision, you know, perfect blossoms, totally supported by the tree, but in a very natural way.

[26:08]

So this kind of natural, precise, detailed carefulness with our life. we're not taking care of our life if we're not taking care of the things and the people in our life. We have no life apart from the things and the people in our life. So, you know, also when we say taking care or attention to detail, or one of the ways that this point can be missed, I think another near enemy of this is a kind of taking care based on anxiety, right? Or fear or egotism, you know, I'm going to do the bad, you know, I do the... most perfect square chop of tofu in all of green goats, you know.

[27:10]

This is like fear and egotism and anxiety, right, that's driving that kind of precision. So that's also not exactly what's being talked about. What's being talked about is the kind of intimacy, intimacy with things. You know, knowing our relationship, appreciating our relationship with everything, the way that our life truly depends on everything that we think of as in our life, right? Like my life is like the field, and then everything else, like you get to be a guest in my life, as opposed to, I have no life without you. Teacup, you know? And when we hold a teacup like that, that's what we're expressing. We're saying, teacup, I have no life without you. That's why we use both hands. It's not because we're afraid of getting scolded by the tea teacher. So this intimacy of giving our life to each thing, allowing ourselves to give our life and attention and effort to each thing that we come across.

[28:23]

There's a lot of teachings in Zen about this kind of practice. Dogen, our founder in Japan, Soto Zen, says, again, kitchen work, to handle the leaf of a green as though it were the body of the Buddha. That's the attitude. It's this intimacy with this sort of unknowable, life-bestowing thing that is this leaf of a green. Or, when steaming the rice, regard the pot as your own head. When washing the rice, know that the water is your own life. What would it be like to live like this? To... everything we interact with all day knowing that it is our life and treating it with that, honoring it in that way. Treating it. You know, some people think this means like fake it till you make it. Right?

[29:26]

We take care of our activity. We take care of our activity and don't worry about knowing our connection. So if enlightenment means to really understand our connection with things, we say, well, we take care of things, and then maybe gradually, by taking care of things, we'll come to understand our connection, and then we'll awaken to the truth of things, which is a little bit like, sometimes it's called fake it till you make it. Take care of things as though you really knew that they were your life, and then maybe eventually they'll be your life. That's one way to see it. In Soto Zen, it's a little more like... Taking care of things expresses the truth that they are your life. It's not about that eventually I'm going to see that. That's beside the point. The point is that everything is my life, and taking care of that enacts that, makes that real, embodies that. It manifests that. So there's this intimacy and even warm-heartedness.

[30:30]

So warm-hearted feeling about... everything that we touch. And intimacy and warm-heartedness we think of as things to do with people. So I love how this teaching can speak to our relationships with people. And I've been thinking about that along the lines of kind of non-jerkiness. to feel like there's a way of being careful and thorough and precise in relationships that is worthwhile. It includes things like saying I'm sorry the next day, you know? Which you don't have to do. It's taking extra care and saying thank you to people, right? To have...

[31:33]

thorough caretaking be a high value for us and to not leave like a lot of messes behind us in relationships with people and in relationships with things too you know we can say I'm sorry to things and we can check we can ask them how they're doing the next day we sometimes think you know that well when we're out with people we have to be really careful especially if we're being careful based on egotism and fear. But then when we come home, you know, the objects will keep our secret. The fork isn't going to tell anybody that I threw it into the sink. But it knows. The fork knows, you know. If you listen closely, you can hear it sort of shriek as you throw it into the sink. Just as, oh, I thought we were friends. Is this all I am to you? We know.

[32:40]

The objects know. At the very least, if you don't want to go there all the way with me, that's fine. But we know, right? We know. When I throw something across my kitchen, I know that I've just threw something across my kitchen. And that rut, that karmic habit that I've just imprinted... that's, first of all, why I threw something across the kitchen, has now just been deepened. I just carved another line deepening this habit energy of treating things like a jerk. So there's no... So then it can seem like this, geez, now I have this big project, I'm already stressed out, and now I have to be extra careful with everything. When am I going to fit that in? And I think again of this blossom, these tree blossoms, you know. There's this way of living in a natural, soft and subtle, intimate, warm-hearted way that is actually taking care of things.

[33:40]

It's not another job. It's a way to live life in a way that enacts, that demonstrates what is true about life, which is the connection of all things. I've been spending a lot of time reading different kinds of teachings about the breath in meditation, and especially Suzuki Roshi's teachings on breath in meditation. As I prepare for this class, I'm going to do this online class here through Zen Center about breath in meditation. And one of the things that strikes me as I reread Suzuki Roshi on breath in meditation, we often talk about mindfulness of breathing, but he's sort of talking about menmitsu breathing. He's talking about this warm-hearted taking care of the breath. So it's not just a passive awareness of the breath, but it's a warm-hearted taking care of the breath, tender affection for the breath.

[34:51]

So a little bit of Suzuki Roshi, and then I'll wrap up in a few minutes here. Suzuki Roshi says, so we put emphasis on a warm heart, warm zazen. The warm feeling we have in our practice is enlightenment or Buddha's mercy, Buddha's mind. It is not just a matter of counting your breath or following your breath. If counting the breath is tedious, it may be better just to follow the breath. But the point is, while inhaling and exhaling, to take care of the breath just as a mother watches her baby. If a baby cries, the mother is worried. That kind of close relationship, being one with your practice, So a couple of things I want to say about how we usually think about objects and how this idea of warm-hearted, intimate, thorough caring for things may be

[36:03]

or can maybe purify certain kinds of relationships we have with things. The basic relationship we have with things is that they're not us. This is the basic delusion that the Buddha has diagnosed as at the root of all of our problems, this basic division between me and everything else. So there's a way of being mindful And there's even a way of taking care that preserves that distinction between me and it. When we're the one being taken care of, we usually sense that and don't like that one. Notice that one? Like, I am over here taking care of you. There's something off about that. And there's something constant about that. I don't know if any of us can say we've ever really... taking care of something beyond without that sort of feeling like actually it's me taking care of it, me taking care of you.

[37:11]

But in the kind of depth of this teaching or the invitation into the depth of this teaching, it's a kind of taking care or points to a kind of taking care that can happen outside of this duality, outside of this division between me over here and it over there. So that's something to look at. If we take up the practice of taking care, can we also look at or soften a bit the attitude of me taking care of it? Because the other thing that happens when we split ourselves from the world and see it as objects out there is that we then ask, what will you do for me? So basically, when we... The moment we come into awareness as human beings, we see ourselves as over here and things as over there. And then the first question we ask of things is, what do you have for me today?

[38:12]

What can I get from you? We move towards them. We want something out of things or we want to get away from things. Everything we meet, as we get attentive to our own... mind, you know, I think we can really see this. Walk into a room, I walk into a situation and immediately my concern is with what can I get out of this? So to not use things, to take care of things is like to not use them. And also to not use the practice of taking care. This is another way. We use everything we're trying to use. So we hear about this practice of being careful, and now we're trying to use it. Like, oh, interesting. What's that going to do me? As opposed to coming into a situation and saying, you know, what can I give? How can I take care? How can I take care here? Well, say, I remember someone...

[39:20]

noting of Suzuki Roshi walking in the garden and having some amazement at Suzuki Roshi walking in the garden, just walking in the garden. I mean, Zen is kind of ridiculous in this way, but it's profound, you know, that there's a kind of walking in the garden that's just walking in the garden, and you can see it from a mile away. That's a human being not using the garden and not using the walking in the garden, you know. I'm walking in the garden to like... anything just walking in the garden not trying to use anything not trying to get something out of life I'm trying to take care of life so so again enlightenment in this In this Soto Zen tradition, enlightenment isn't limited to some kind of great feeling or some mystical knowledge.

[40:27]

And as we look for teachers of Zen, we don't look for people who tell us that they have some mystical knowledge or great feeling. We understand enlightenment to be something expressed in life, something expressed. And so we look for someone who seems to be expressing. So it's not about an inner state, it's about an outer manifestation or expression of taking care. So there's an old Zen story about this, and maybe I'll close with the story. So there was, in ancient times, there was a student of the way who was looking for a teacher on pilgrimage, looking for teachers to study with, and heard tell of a hermit up in the mountains who had the eye of the true Dharma and got excited, as pilgrims do, and headed up the mountain in his straw sandals looking for this great hermit.

[41:40]

And as he approached... the location of the hermitage as he wound his way up the mountain alongside a creek he saw a leaf of a green like a lettuce leaf floating down the creek from up higher in the mountain and he looked at the leaf and he stopped and he turned around and he went back down to the mountain and rejoined his friends and they said did you meet the famous hermit of mount such and such and he said um Yes, I met him, but he had nothing to teach. I didn't study with this teacher. He did not have the eye of the true Dharma. He may have had great meditative concentration,

[42:44]

He may have been able to explain the Buddha Sutras, but he didn't take care of this beautiful lettuce leaf. And that's... If you can't take care of the lettuce leaf, that's not the Dharma. So, you know, I don't want to put too fine a point on this. I think here at Green Gulch, there are many leaves floating down our... our creak, it's not about judging others. But it's an invitation, you know. It's an invitation to appreciate that the only way whatever we think we realize or understand about meditation or Buddhism or the truth of existence It only comes alive, the only way that we can really say that's real is in our activity.

[43:45]

Is it manifest in our life? Can we enact it in a life of total respect for things? Can we not be jerks, you know? Thank you for your... practice and patience with me today. I hope you join me in this practice of trying, trying at least, to really tend to our life, tend to things and each other. And my hope and wish is that in doing so, we gain great benefit for ourselves, but more importantly, extend benefit, somehow bring benefit and liberation to beings. Thank you very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center.

[44:49]

Our programs are made possible by the donations we receive. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[45:15]

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