This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. I have a very strong sense of smell and also hearing. So like that sound yesterday of the I don't know what that feedback thing that happens. It's personally painful, you know. And so it's wonderful to be able to hear. And also, it can be difficult. Same with smells, you know. I, you know, I can detect, like, if the Anja puts a rose in the room, it's like, heavenly. And then there's skunks and all sorts of other things that... So, there it is.

[01:07]

Organs. I wanted to bring up a few things with you today. Bring up what Suzuki Roshi says about Shoho Jisou. in his commentary on the Lotus Sutra. And also this story came to mind that Tenchen Roshi has told many times, and I've incorporated it, I think, and I always feel very close to this story and not exactly sure why, but it's the story of Pukusati. Maybe some of you know the story of his encounter with the Buddha. I wanted to clarify a couple things from yesterday.

[02:10]

One is I mentioned about only a Buddha and a Buddha. And the old wisdom school, the teaching was Shakyamuni was the only Buddha of this year. Shakyamuni said he didn't uncover this truth. He... practice with many Buddhas of the past. So we recite, you know, the seven Buddhas before Buddha. We acknowledge that there's a lineage of Buddhas, and those were all in Kalpa's past, eons past. And in this, our time, with our Buddha of this eon, Ishakyamuni Buddha, the next eon will be Maitreya, the future Buddha. And then in the Lotus Sutra, you know, many, many Buddhas are predicted for another time. The Buddha predicts their names and what their lands will be like and so forth.

[03:11]

And then this wider Nirmanakaya Buddha, transformation body Buddhas, many Buddhas, Buddhas and ancestors. So yes, there's the seven Buddhas before Buddha, which includes Shakyamuni. There's six and Shakyamuni is the seventh, but we always say seven Buddhas before Buddha for some reason. It's one of those enigmas. I wanted to say something about our practice of standing. I think we've talked about the mudras, and we also spend a good, fair amount of time standing in Shashu, waiting for service to begin on the Ngava for Nenju. So we talked about the shashu posture and that the arms are like 90 degree angles rather than lower or higher, and the slight turn of the fists or the hands slightly turned up.

[04:16]

And the feet, if you bring your attention to your feet, you might notice your back on your heels, or you might be forward on the balls of your feet slightly. I mean, this can be very slight, not tiptoe or rocking back, but slightly. So the place of balance where your legs are under your hips, in line with your hip sockets, and where you're not coming forward, where your head goes forward, or slightly tip back and using muscles, to hold yourself upright. If you picture this as a foot, let's see. No, I can show you my foot. You don't have to use my hand. So, here's my foot. This spot on your heel, not back here, not up, but right there, kind of the, I don't know what even to call that spot.

[05:17]

Did you see over there? Let me use my other foot for that other side of the room. Right there on your foot. is a place to be balanced on. So not back here, not up, and not even in the arch, but there. So see if you can find that spot and how that, let's see, I have to get settled again here. What that feels like and if it changes your head position and if it feels more energetic, actually, where you're not working so hard to stand. You should name that part of the foot. It probably has a name. I don't know what it is. And also, I wanted to mention with our bowing, I've noticed some people, when they're bowing, are not using the five-point landing.

[06:19]

Five-point landing is two knees, two elbows, and forehead. Some people are holding their elbows up, sort of like in the air. This is for when you do full prostrations, not those of you who are working with standing prostrations. Then you don't have a five-point landing. So both knees, elbows, and then the hands are raised up, thumbs are in rather than out. We talked about the thumb as kind of an ego prehensile, is tucked in nicely, and then the hands are raised up as if the Buddha was standing on your hands. You're raising the Buddha up. Or your own true self. Raise your own true self. You can also think of it like that. Shōho jisō, all true reality of all beings, which is Buddha.

[07:23]

which is self, true self. And those of you who know the story of Sumedha, does everyone know the story of the origin of the full prostration? Some do, some don't. I wasn't going to tell this, but I'll briefly tell it. There was a practitioner named Sumedha. This is one of these old, old stories, pre-Shakyamuni, a Janaka tale kind of a thing. And he had supernatural, supernormal powers. He could fly and do all sorts of things. And the village that he lived near was getting ready for a visit from Deepankara Buddha, actually. And he said, what's all the excitement? How come everybody's decking the halls here? And they said, Deepankara Buddha's coming. He said, oh, I would like to help. too. And they were really happy because of his supernatural powers.

[08:23]

They thought he could fly around and do everything by his mind powers. But he wanted to do it with his own hands. That would be more meaningful to Sumedha. So they asked him to, the road was very muddy. They wanted him to clear the road and place clean straw or rocks or something so that Deepankara could walk without getting his feet or sandals muddy. But he didn't finish in time. Sumedha didn't. And Deepankara was coming, and so Sumedha undid his matted hair, which was very long. He was, you know, a kind of recluse religious with matted hair. And he got down on the ground and prostrated himself in the mud with his hair out for Deepankara to walk on him. walk on his back and his hair and not get his feet dirty. And when Sumedha did this, he felt, he looked up at Deepankara, you know, with his face kind of in the mud, and he thought, I want to practice like that.

[09:35]

I don't want to, you know, purify myself and be a non-returner and not come back to this world. I want to practice like a Buddha, which is a kind of bodhisattva vow. And he made this vow, lying in the mud, fully prostrated. And Deepankara understood through Kano Doko, through spiritual communion, about this vow. And I think he predicted Sumedha. And Sumedha became Shakyamuni. So they say, So that's one of those wonderful circular stories. And that, our prostration, we don't do full out, which other traditions do, you know, full body. We do a kind of modified, really, the five-point landing, knee, knee, elbow, elbow, forehead. But it is a kind of child's pose. You can actually, you know, relax. breathe into your back because your organs are kind of squeezed as you're down there and you can practice with that.

[10:44]

And you don't have to feel religious. Just totally plunge into the bow without holding anything back. So that was a story I wasn't going to tell, but I did. You know, I think in another life, I would want to be a storyteller. You know, like as a profession. I love telling stories. And I'm hesitating. I'm trying to stop from telling my Peter Pan stories, which are arising very strongly. So yesterday, I didn't know about this tree limb, this big sycamore tree. that came crashing down. Did anyone hear it in the night? Who heard it? You heard it from the dorm. You heard it on your side, yeah. And thank goodness that nobody, you know, could have happened any time.

[11:49]

There wasn't a big wind. There wasn't storm. It just dropped, right? And that is a very populated area In the summer, people sit in the sycamore grove. Anyway, thank goodness no one was hurt. And we have this, the bees, how are the bees doing? Did they go into the box? We put some in the box. And there's a little activity. We don't know. Yeah, we don't know if the queen went in or not. Or if she survived. So... We had this mysterious unknown, or maybe a few people knew or saw bees go in and out, but this world inside of life and practice, our wonderful bee friends who actually we depend on for our survival in this world, for the survival of so many plants and foods.

[12:54]

Anyway, I really hope they find their way to their new hive. And this dropping of the tree reminded me of a friend of mine who was killed by a falling tree. I just want to say a few words about this person. This summer is my 50th high school reunion and this friend's name was Tom. Bloom, and he and his brother Tim were twins, Tim and Tom Bloom. And they were identical twins, very hard to tell them apart. My mother called each one of them Tim-Tom because she could never tell who was who, just Tim-Tom. And I think they were, both of them at different times were kind of my earliest boyfriends, Tim and Tom. But they're very different, very different personalities. Anyway, Tom was a very sweet guy and became a veterinarian and worked in Wisconsin as a veterinarian.

[14:06]

And a tree, I think he had land or something, and a tree fell on him and killed him. And the whole community, he was such a fine veterinarian, I think for big animals as well as small animals. And I read the obituaries, not obituary, but there was obituary and then people wrote about him and what a fine doctor he was. Yeah, so. And the other thing about Tom was he, when I was 15, I learned through my relationship with Tom about the power of active listening. I didn't know the name of it, but I remember this one day. We weren't even, we were just friends at that time, but we had been friends since kindergarten, really.

[15:08]

So we knew each other over the years. And he was talking with me and kind of unloading some... painful stuff and things about his life. And I remember just listening. I just listened and was following what he said and eye contact and I don't even know what I said, any appropriate comments or whatever. And at the end of that, he said, I think I want to marry you, is what Tom said. And I remember thinking, he doesn't really want to marry me. I mean, we were pretty young. We weren't even a couple. It's just To be listened to completely, it's like one might feel like, I want to spend the rest of my life with somebody who's willing to be there in that way for me. And I remember thinking, wow, listening to someone is powerful. So that's my words about Tom Bloom.

[16:15]

So as we continue to sit together, there may be various things that are coming up which you're discovering, you have insight into, you're having difficulty with. And I wanted to say, I wanted to ask you, there's a phrase that Tenshin Roshi coined, I think, saying, which is to leave each other profoundly alone. And... I think that's been misunderstood as if we're supposed to be indifferent or something. But my understanding of that is in the spirit of our sitting together, the spirit of the Zendo, atmosphere in the Zendo, to really not just follow kind of the letter of the admonitions, the letter of the law of eyes cast down and no contact bodily or whatever, but the spirit of it, which is to leave, to actually rein in our tendencies to judge one another, think about one another, ill will, greed, hate, and delusion about one another, to actually, in the spirit of our practice,

[17:49]

to be really careful about that and just take care of one's own practice. Now, I don't know if that resonates with you at all, what I just said, but if it does at all, please hear that and practice with that. I think we have various chemistry with one another, and to kind of let it alone, just come back to our own seat, our throne of emptiness, and our practice and our body practice, and leave each person free by virtue of, they are free to do their own practice,

[18:50]

Leave each other profoundly alone. Okay? And however you understand that, please take it up. I wanted to say something about our Zazen practice. And, you know, we often say that our Zen practice is a body practice, but we may not understand what that means. And we may be... not practicing in the body, in the body as a body, but more kind of a mental idea of body. So when we sit sazan, let our whole body sit sazan, let our legs sit sazan, leave them alone to sit sazan, let our back and arms and belly, neck and head, mouth parts.

[19:53]

Just allow every part of our body to just sit. And someone mentioned to me, you know, working with sensory awareness practices and Charlotte Silver, Suzuki Roshi, Charlotte Silver was one of the main teachers of sensory awareness. And Suzuki Roshi acknowledged the importance of sensory awareness in our practice and invited her to come to Zen Center. And she did come for many, many years teaching in the summer. And so coming into the body, not as some idea. When I say idea, I mean we have judgments about our body. too tall, I'm too thin, I'm too fat, I'm getting old, I'm young, I'm youthful, I'm all that. This is conceptual stuff. Whether you're old or young is totally in relation to... If you say you're young, we can find someone younger.

[21:03]

You say you're old, I can show you somebody who's older. You say you're decrepit, I can show you somebody who's decrepit. If you say you're... It's totally... our ideas that we have about who we are, and they're often wildly off, you know, meaning we have ideas about who we are in our bodies that are distorted, dysmorphic, is that the word? You know, really distorted. I can have someone sitting in front of me telling me how horrible and ugly and terrible they are. This is the ideas we have about ourself. So to practice, and this is from the Four Foundations of Mindfulness, there's this phrase over and over again to contemplate the body as a body.

[22:11]

And in Pali, it's , contemplate the body in the body, or the body as a body, rather than the body as our feelings about our body, our judgments, our ideas, our concepts about what a body even is. To drop out of that into actual sensations, of legs, bottom, back, arms, hands. And as I'm speaking, you may think, what is she talking about? I don't even know what she's talking about. So this, can you come into the warmth, the weight, the feel of, as someone said about, sensory awareness, the feel of the pull of gravity on the body, how it feels to feel the cushion under you and the zabutan or the chair and your feet on the floor come into those sensations as the body in the body.

[23:28]

And that goes for, you know, in four foundations of mindfulness under the four are body, feelings, mind, and mind objects. Those are the four different realms of contemplation. And in the body, there's 21 different areas of the body. There's the body, there's the breath, there's, as a skillful means, working with what they call accuracy about body, and parts of the body, and the smells, and speaking of smells, the sights, and are these pleasurable or unpleasurable, these kinds of things. So this is a mindfulness meditation. So to drop away from thinking of ourselves genderized, or of a size,

[24:34]

or of attractive or not attractive, that's all really conceptual and come into the body, contemplate the body as body, in a body. And that also, in the Four Foundations of Mindfulness, helps to distinguish between body and what might be feelings or thoughts or some other confusion about emotions, but to come into the felt sense of embodiment, the suchness of embodiment, which is ever-flowing and ever-changing. So I think I'd like to tell the story of Pukasati right now and then come back to Suzuki Roshi and Shihoji, so see how that works.

[26:16]

By the way, just found out that Gautama, the word Gautama, the Buddha's name or given name means best cow. Best cow. Which I didn't know before. I didn't know if you knew that. Best cow. Which comes into the story of Pukkasati. How many of you know the story of Pukkasati? Nobody knows the story of Pukkasati. Once upon a time, the Lord was dwelling in a village, and he was making rounds and teaching, and he asked, he needed lodgings for the night, and he asked a potter of the village who had a kind of potter's shed with the wheel and the different clay and different things if he could stay overnight in the potter's shed.

[27:21]

his shed and the powder said yes oh lord you may and there's another recluse who will be staying recluse is used in a positive way you know there's another wandering practitioner who's staying there also and shakimuni said that's fine so they greeted each other and and evening came and the lord Shakyamuni Buddha made a place for himself and adjusted his robe over his, bared his right shoulder and sat cross-legged and sat upright and practiced zazen. And he noticed that this other person who was sharing the space also created a seat for himself and arranged his robes, loosely bound and arranged in order. and also sat upright and began practicing zazen. Late into the night, they both practiced zazen.

[28:23]

And Shakyamuni Buddha thought to himself, how inspiring is the way of this clansman, the way this clansman behaves, his deportment, how he sat quietly and tranquilly. So he opened a conversation with him, friend, are you practicing with somebody? Is there somebody who's your teacher? And what is your name? And he said, Pukasati. And Shakyamuni Buddha asked him who his teacher was, and he said, well, I have heard of the teacher, Shakyamuni, and I have heard that he teaches, that he's very famous, and I've heard of his teaching, and I want to go forth under Shakyamuni Buddha. and I tried to follow his way. And Shakyamuni Buddha said, do you know where this teacher is teaching? And Pukasati said, I heard he was in the north.

[29:26]

I'm going to try to go there to practice with him. And the Buddha said, do you know what he looks like? Would you recognize him? And Pukasati said, no, I have never seen him, but I'm going to try and find him. And Pukasati said, friend, I would like to practice with him." And Shakyamuni said, would you be open to hear some teachings? And Bhukasakti said, yes, friend, I would. So Shakyamuni began to teach him and talked about many different things. including the 18 considerations. And the 18 considerations have to do with the I, the I object, and the I consciousness, those three, how they meet.

[30:43]

and the practices on seeing a form with the eye, the eye organ, one considers a form that can act as a basis for joy, sadness, or equanimity. So our eye sees a form, and there's an eye consciousness, and we consider whether that form that we see is a basis Because nothing resides in that form, but it can be a basis for us due to our karmic consciousness for either joy or sadness or equanimity. So we consider that an eye object. We see something and we just practice with that. Or on hearing a sound with the ear organ. One considers a sound that can act as a basis for joy, sadness, or equanimity.

[31:50]

And so forth with the other sense organs and the mind that acts as organ and the mind object. So the mind object, is this mind object a subject for joy? sadness, or equanimity. And we consider this. These are the 18 considerations, the six organs, including the mind organ, and their objects, and then these three, are they the basis for these three? We consider that. And this practice is a practice with the skandhas. The organs and their objects are part of the first skanda of form, rupa skanda, including avishnaptirupa, the 11th.

[33:08]

The mind object is in vijjnana, consciousness, skanda, and then the joy, equanimity or sadness is part of samskara skanda or the formations. So this is working with the skandhas and how they flow and how they affect our consciousness. So he taught in this way, Tipukasati, and many other things through the night. And Pukusati was overjoyed at these teachings. He sat upright and listened all through the night and realized at some point, this is my teacher. This is Shakyamuni Buddha. He realized that only Shakyamuni Buddha could teach in this skillful way and this, you know, he could have listened to him all night.

[34:09]

And he did. And After the Buddha had finished these teachings to Pukasati, Pukasati asked forgiveness for calling him friend, which is this particular term that you use with peers, but you don't use it when you're addressing the teacher. You say, you know, venerable or bhante, lord, or there's another term of respect. And he realized he had just said, kind of more casually, this fellow sharing the potter's shed, he just called him friend. And he asked forgiveness for his muddle-headed unclearness by calling him that. And the Buddha said, thank you for your confession about your muddle-headedness, and I forgive you. And then Pukhasati said, I would like to go forth into the homeless life.

[35:12]

I would like to take ordination with you. And Chakyamuni Buddha said, that's fine. Are the conditions ripe? Do you have your three robes and your bowl? Because there are certain prerequisites that were necessary to be ordained. You had to gather the requisites, the prereqs. And Pugasati said, no, I don't have them. And the Buddha said, please go and get the requisites and I will be traveling to this place and come and meet me there. So Pugasati went off to get the requisites. And while he was gathering his requisites, there was a wild cow because cows are able to run wild and walk around.

[36:13]

And it says in the sutra that this cow savaged Pukasati and he was killed. And later the Buddha said with his abilities that Pukasati, you know, had a favorable rebirth and arhatship in some other realm. So in some ways, as an arhat, the story ends happily. But I always have great sadness that arises thinking about Bhukasati and his joy at finding his teacher and hearing the Dharma that he had been looking for, and then this event, which is these kinds of events, karmically speaking, are not personal karma.

[37:19]

This is things like assault, the weather, accidents. These kinds of things are not due to one's personal negative karma coming to fruit. This is, you know, like that tree falling. This is not some personal karmic retribution. So this happened, and as we know this can happen. We never know. We don't know the manner of our death or when, but we know we will die.

[38:19]

So I hear this story as an encouragement to don't waste time, like the Han. And also, I think I love it for the connection the two of them had and this... generosity of Shakyamuni Buddha, and also his acknowledging Pukkasatis through his bodily deportment, through how he carried himself, his respectful way he made his meditation seat and sat upright, that he was worthy of spending this time with, rather than haughty, or as we know in the second chapter, people who already feel they already know. So this is the story of Pukasati, and it's in the Majima Nikaya, I think.

[39:39]

Anyway, it's within the Pali Canon. So just a little bit more about the body and the body, you know, in the beginning of the Four Foundations of Mindfulness, the Buddhist says bhikkhus, this is a direct path to, mindfulness is a direct path to nirvana and purification of beings.

[40:41]

Now, we, you know, and this is shravaka path, purifying the self. and nirvana and arhatship is, you know, once-returner, never-returner arhat. And although Bodhisattva Way does not have this as the goal, I feel like there are ways in which we might not exactly denigrate, but kind of like, well, I don't do mindfulness or something, or my practices, as if mindfulness was lesser or something. Hinayana is a lesser vehicle. So, you know, these practices of mindfulness are venerable, ancient, of great benefit, and we do practice them, whether we call it the Four Foundations. And I think Paul Heller has taught Four Foundations of Mindfulness here for practice periods.

[41:46]

you know, we can take them up within the context of our Zen practice to great benefit. So I really don't want us to skip over mindfulness as if that's something we don't do. We're practicing mindfulness all the time within our kitchen practice or Yoki, taking our posture and so forth. And this direct path, you know, There's other paths to nirvana, like the four Brahma Viharas, but they say this is direct, the four foundations of mindfulness, the Brahma Viharas of compassion, equanimity, loving kindness, and what am I missing? Sympathetic joy. Those can take you in other places, not necessarily directly. But these mindfulness practices, the Buddha says, directly, and they relieve us beings of lamentation and grief.

[42:55]

So we can take these up, not as a purification practice, and as arhat practice, but as a way to... support our practice. So we take up, and Suzuki Hiroshi says, Hinayana practices with a Mahayana spirit or Mahayana mind. So mindfulness, but not in order to purify the self alone, but for skillful means as a better way to be present and able to help others. So the The four foundations of mindfulness, as I said, are mindfulness of the body, which includes these other things, breath and the mindfulness of the breath within the breath.

[43:57]

So these practices of breathing in, I know I'm breathing in. Breathing out, I know I'm breathing out. Breathing in. A short breath, I know I'm breathing in a short breath. breathing out a short breath, breathing in and out a long breath and so forth, breathing in a calm body and mind. These are practices that may be useful for you at some time, especially if you're agitated, if you're restless, if you're thinking a lot, kind of tense and thinking. You can take this up. and settle into not even knowing what breath is, without the conceptual thing of, I know what my breath is, but whole body is breathing. There's also within the body, within the first mindfulness of postures, taking our posture like Pukkasati upright, mindfully adjusting and arranging, setting ourselves, but not only while sitting,

[45:09]

All the four postures, sitting, walking, standing and lying down. And these practices of mindfully knowing when I extend my arm or bring my arm back or stretch or lie down or get up or move. And to practice with these and see, is there a self there? What is it that's allowing... movement. Where did this originate? You know, you can have some insight practice around where this is flowing from, taking a step in kinyin. Many of us don't have a chance to practice kinyin, but mindfulness of that movement, the pressure of the foot meeting the ground and entering. And how is it that we can lift our heel? Where is that movement originating from? We can practice this way, contemplating the body as a body, and this is the repeated thing, ardent, fully aware, and mindful, having put aside covetousness and ill will for the world.

[46:30]

So these practices are done with... I love the word ardent. Ardent and fully aware, without, you know, greed and hate for the world or resentment or wanting this or that. Just ardent and fully mindful we practice in this way. And abiding in this way, with the mind of no abode, we abide without clinging to anything. And we can enter this flowingness. The mindfulness of feelings, there's just three feelings, Vedana, it's Skanda, the Skanda of Vedana, and it's just pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral.

[47:35]

And we can practice with those mindful of the arising. And in every moment of consciousness there is Vedana. One of the five skandas arises in every moment of consciousness. So you can check it out. Pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. And be mindful of that. And while we're being mindful and ardent and fully aware, having put aside, if it's pleasurable, put aside greed or covetousness. If it's unpleasant, beware of ill will and hate. Mindfully dwelling with the mind of no abode, mindful of Vedana, feelings. This is a little mnemonic, you know, pleasurable sensations arise due to tea cookie, you know, which is, it starts out as a visual, as a rupa, a great heavy, looks heavy cookie or paper cupcake holder of delicious fruit, dried fruit that looks abundant.

[49:04]

So we have pleasurable sensations, or maybe not. Maybe it's, I shouldn't be eating that, or I want it. Maybe it's unpleasant. But whatever it is, pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral, upon the visual object, beware of greed or beware of covetousness or ill will. And then you pick it up. Pleasurable feeling due to contact. The weight of the, it is heavy. Heavy with various things. It's amazingly heavy. And then beware of greed, you know. And that's a contact. Sparsha. And then maybe you smell it. Peanut butter, chocolate. Pleasant sensations or unpleasant, depending. or your prune. Is it a prune that you get, a prune?

[50:04]

Pleasant sensations. You can practice mindfully like this. There's no, nothing's stopping us. We've got all the time in the world here, folks, to do this, which is so hard to do. And then the texture of it as your teeth go in, and the give, and it's baked to perfection. It's not too crispy for me. For you, it might be underdone. Should have been a little more crispy. Whatever it is, beware of greed. Pleasant sensation is arising. Ardent, you know, mindfully, fully aware. And then notice sadness as it goes away and gets smaller and smaller. Why won't it stay longer? All things, all composite things come apart. And there it goes, and it's getting lighter and lighter.

[51:09]

Yeah. And also, before, when you took it off the tray, if you're working with cookies, you know the practice of taking the closest one, yes? The practice is taking the closest cookie. Not surveying the tray and taking the one that has all those chocolate chips over there. You take the one closest. and you are freed from greed, hate, and delusion. That's our practice. So that's the Vedana, and we can practice various, because it's in every moment of consciousness, pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral, and dependent on all the organs and the mind objects. And the mind objects, for mindfulness, we're working with the mind of greed, hate, and delusion, distractedness and concentration or not.

[52:10]

Is there concentration? Is there distractedness? I'm fully aware there is distractedness, ardently, fully aware. Or that there's greed, hate, and delusion. Or if you can't notice that, you can just be mindful there is mind. That's all. And then the fourth, so that's the mind. And in the fourth, in mind objects, we work with the five hindrances. And the five hindrances are greed, ill will, sloth and torpor, restlessness, and number five, which is doubt, doubt. So these things may be coming up as you sit. And this is mind objects sitting there facing the wall. There's nothing to be greedy for, you know, the wall.

[53:12]

But it's our mind objects. And this is something really, really important that we can, using our mind, we can call up various things and scenarios and images that will... engender and bring up and activate greed and longing of all kinds. And it has physical effects, and we can do that. And you can choose to do that, or you can choose to not attend and let go of, and in the Four Foundations of Mindfulness, these kinds of thoughts, they are tempered with the mindfulness of the unpleasantness of, you know, the being, if you're thinking of a being, or if it's food, or whatever it is that's arousing your greed, you contemplate the unpleasantness of it, or it's

[54:30]

like if it's food, what it looks like if you're chewing it up in your mouth, and whether you would want, do you hanker after that? Well, not really, you know. So there's, these are all these skillful means that the Buddha taught of working with these mind objects. And ill will, the... working with ill will, the counter to ill will. If ill will is arising as a mind object, to be aware of it. And there's a countermeasure, which is loving kindness. And it could be loving kindness for yourself that needs to happen. And, you know, if we bring up over and over in our minds during zazen, those beings that we have ill will towards, or who have heard us and, you know, what we wish we would have said or are going to say.

[55:37]

And this has a big effect on our state of body and mind. And we can re-traumatize ourselves over and over again, really, through the power of mind objects. This is a choice we have to be aware if we're doing this and to counter it with loving kindness, starting with ourselves and let go of that because we can get ourselves into a state that will be not very healthy for us, not not tending towards a healthy, beneficial way of thinking. So if you've found yourself caught in a loop like that, be mindful of it. And these hindrances, or supposedly impediments, are Dharma gates for all of us, and they're venerable, old, have been noticed for thousands of years.

[56:45]

This is not... that are your fault. This is shared, our shared areas that we all fall into. The restlessness and remorse, the I can't read my writing here. We wisely reflect on tranquility. So if we have restlessness and remorse and we unwisely go over and over and over these reflecting on these things, this will be very disturbing.

[57:46]

and we'll become restless in the body. Remorse is to chew over again, going over it. It can be similar to ill will, but it often is about our own actions, not about ill will towards someone else. So we wisely reflect on tranquility. What does that mean exactly? I don't really, I can't really say, but what is a calming thought for us? what supports us, what teachings support us to find tranquility and maybe following the breath. Those kinds of practices will deal with remorse. And the last one is doubt, and it's happens when we begin to reflect on, it says in the sutra, dubious matters. I don't know what those might be, but there might be parts of the teaching that we're very dubious about and haven't settled for ourselves.

[58:56]

And to go over and over those can be corrosive doubt rather than the doubt that encourages us to practice more strongly. It corrodes our wanting to practice. So the The abandoning in that is to study, investigate, and inquiry. So this is more healthy kind of doubt rather than corrosive. Anyway, this is very, very cursory what I'm saying, but these things may be coming up in your practice as we sit together, and I wanted to just note them and note that to be mindful of them and to work with them. skillfully, is not to just let these things kind of run, what is it called, run rip-shod? What? Rough-shot.

[59:56]

Doesn't have a rough-shod. Run rough-shod. Yeah, run rough-shod. To let things just run rough-shod, like I've got to sort of just take it. We can't practice with these things. in lots of different ways. And I would start with the body and this full relaxation, mindfulness of the body, in the body. So that went on longer than I thought, and maybe I will save Suzuki Roshi and Shouho Jisou for tomorrow feels like kind of going another direction. So are there any questions or anything you'd like to add or anything you've been working with? Yes? I was wondering if you could say something about when we're sitting Zazen.

[61:01]

I feel like I've heard some instruction about kind of not picking or choosing the thoughts or like not getting too involved with them and returning to awareness or... just kind of like just sitting with them. And I've also heard this conversation here today about kind of like intervening that we can't live or let these thoughts run roughshod through us in that kind of, you know, applying loving kindness or plugging these things kind of brings forth a voice or a spiritual mentor within. And like what the balance is, because I feel like I could spend my whole life you know, speaking to myself and applying the Prabhupada Hara's or something with Parvita's or... And when did we say, like, okay, and now awareness of awareness, or now, you know? Yes, yes. Because I could just, I could just, like, yeah, so what do I do? I write that with a side. Yeah, that's the perfect question that I hope everybody's considering, you know, because...

[62:06]

These, what are called the five hindrances, if the five hindrances are not arising and these thoughts are, you're able to let them go, they're coming and going. There's awareness of ill will and there it goes. It's more when we get caught and are kind of manipulated by or feel like we can't extricate ourselves, we're kind of caught. being turned by it rather than allowing and noticing and being sitting in full awareness, watching the rising and falling. So it's up to each one of us if we need to apply some help in this way. To have this as, you know, when I said it at the beginning of Zen Center, you know, don't do this, don't do yoga, don't do there, don't do anything, just sit. And I feel like in the same way, there are tools that we can, if we want to call them tools and practices, we can take up if we feel like, I need some help here.

[63:20]

So I think some of you have practiced vipassana and done maybe very deep... Four Foundations of Mindfulness work, Vipassana retreats, where that is really the main practice that's being taught and offered and guided meditations around this. I'm saying more Mahayana spirit and Shikantaza just sitting in the widest way. And we can use a little help sometime and to know something about that. about hard-boiled eggs came up. I could kind of justify a protein deficiency all the time. And I could probably eat two hard-boiled eggs at every break. But I kind of know when I'm having fun with eggs and what I'm actually sustaining myself.

[64:25]

Having fun with eggs. Yeah. Well, good, yes. I think we have wisdom here. You know, we're not sort of... And we know when we're, you know, kind of... Nobody said you couldn't have two eggs every break. That was not read by the Eno the night before Sashin. But is that in the spirit of how you're trying to practice during the Sashin? You know. So this thing about the letter... I mean, if the Eno were to read every single admonition that we could possibly think of to do during our breaks, that would be the sashimi, just keep reading and reading and reading, right? And people come up with really ingenious things and then wonder, is this, am I within the admonitions or not? So yeah, so you know, and also your tummy, I think, has something to say about it too. Let's see, six eggs?

[65:29]

I don't know. Thank you. Yes? You said something about three marks. I think I understood what you said. But I also wonder if confessional repentance has been there somewhere. In this practice, I've treated it confession of repentance without realizing it in a very kind of Catholic way. In a what kind of way? Almost like a Catholic way. Catholic, uh-huh. Yeah, going to a teacher or a practice leader and actually confessing and repenting something or confessing and repenting to a tree or whatever, but dealing with the thing that's coming up by confessing and repenting. Isn't that part of our practice? Yes, definitely. Yes, confessing and repenting, you know, we melt away the root of transgression, right, and enter the body of faith.

[66:44]

I think being caught, there's a kind of guilt and being caught by remorse and, oh, mea culpa, and I'm such a horrible person, which is kind of the other side of arrogance. It's kind of like we go the other way and, oh, I'm the worst, the worst of the worst or something, and we get caught in that. That's the kind of impediment. It goes too far. So to have a healthy relationship with... where we see we need to work further and to admit and confess and repent to another, to ourself, is a very wholesome practice. And I think this restlessness and remorse as an impediment, this unwisely, it says, unwisely reflecting on disturbing thoughts, you know, where it's too much.

[67:47]

It's enough already. Let it go. But we can't. So I think this is speaking to that. Yeah, and confessing and repenting might help to alleviate, or maybe you already have and you're still caught. So, yeah. And this restlessness in the body... Yeah, if we're not following the precepts or unable to follow the precepts, it's very difficult to sit still, to be still for another or ourselves. This was one of the first lectures Zentatsu Baker ever gave that I heard, and he said, if you steal pencils from work, you will not be able to sit zazen. And I remember thinking, you've got to be kidding. Well, that has nothing to do with it.

[68:48]

I could take a pencil from work. That's not going to stop me. But I understood later, living in that way, thinking you can take what is not given, or you can't settle. This is where the restlessness comes in. is our confession repentance, so you don't need that with a teacher. Oh, well, in the Catholic sense, not having been brought up Catholic, this, it may not be like that, but it's very, it can be very relieving to talk with somebody and have someone witness and hear you. Yeah, so take it. Avail yourself of that if you wish.

[69:49]

I think that can be very, very, very settling. Not that they absolve you, I think, or give you penance or something that you're then supposed to do to get you right again with the divine, I guess. I'm not exactly sure how it works, but something like that. The person you speak with, the practice leader, is not going to give you any absolution. They're going to listen. hopefully listen and acknowledge and thank you for your awareness and your clarity about this is not how I want to live and I want to live this way. And they'll witness that. I think that's what happens, that energetic circle between two people, not that they can take it away from you or something. It's not like that. Yes, Benson.

[70:54]

Yes, well said, Sabuti, well said. You know, so that's pretty indicative of our Mahayan way. We do things for everyone, not just to give ourselves water. Yes. But that also really makes me wonder about all of our hermit friends. All of our hermit friends? Uh-huh. It looms, forms the nature in ten square feet and builds, finds grass to make a hell and such.

[72:00]

Yeah. I wonder if that's, you know, how that's... Yeah. Yeah, the spirit. Yeah. Well, Dogen also has a poem about the grass hut. He says, I, um... I live in a grass hut, awake or asleep in this grass hut. All I want is to take others across. This poor manga, this is the gist of it. I may never become a Buddha, but this is my vow. Awake or asleep in my grass hut. So the grass hut that Sekito makes is the grass hut of this whole entire shōho jisō. the grass out of that. And sometimes we take some time, like now, to turn light and work within, you know.

[73:07]

But I don't think there's, you know, the tenth ox-herding picture is returned to the marketplace with gift-bestowing hands. That's the culmination. And the Bodhisattva vow always includes the many beings, right? You know, the three pure precepts, embracing and sustaining right conduct, embracing and sustaining all good, embracing and sustaining all beings, was the Mahayana reworking of avoid all evil, do all good, and purify the mind. So those pure precepts shifted to save the many beings rather than purify the mind. So, and at the same time, purification happens, you know, meaning we do refine our lives, but that is not the main point going on. I want to refine my life out of my way.

[74:09]

It happens. So... And there are teachers who have gone into hermitages, and we've got stories of them, and some of them got into lots of trouble. Like they stopped eating, and then the abbot said so-and-so who was up over the hog back in their hermitage was getting food brought up and coming down for food, and they stopped coming down for food. What's going on? So when the person went and checked on him, he said, well, a celestial being is feeding me, so I really don't need to come down to the kitchen anymore. I don't need to go to the back door. I've got celestial being. And the abbot said, I'll see about that. And he peeked into the hermitage, and there was, if I remember the story correctly, a demon who was kind of on top of him, kind of eating him, I think. Anyway, some story like that.

[75:11]

And from our, you know, our ancestors, which is a cautionary tale, you know, because we can get way off without Sangha Jewel, you know, and without relationship. We can get kind of into our own, yeah. But the hermits are our friends. Hermit, isn't there somebody who's a cookie monster named Hermit? Kermit. Is Kermit the cookie monster? No. Kermit the frog. Kermit the frog. Sorry. I never really watched Sesame Street. Okay. Shogun, and that will be the last one. I had a couple things. One that came up in response to Kogan's question. I think of the hindrances as hindrance to be aware, hindrance to awareness. So when that And if it's a pleasant sensation to kind of be aware of greed or attachment, I mean, there's a negative, unpleasant, to be careful with aversion.

[76:34]

And I didn't hear you say anything about neutral. Okay. Thank you. I forgot. Yes, yes. Definitely. Thank you. Yes. Thank you, Shogun. I completely forgot neutral. Partially because sometimes they say there really isn't neutral. It's just confusion. You don't know if it's pleasant or unpleasant. So I did forget. Yes. If you don't know, if sound object and it's neutral, beware of confusion. So... And, yeah, getting into those, like it's moment after moment, and it can be just one moment after another. It goes from pleasant to unpleasant to pleasant. It's a very interesting practice to really sense the flow and the ungraspability of nothing lasts, you know.

[77:40]

So it can support our life. ungrasping, you know, our unclingingness, letting go of clinging. What's there to cling? It's all moving anyway, yeah. Well, thank you very much all for your attention this morning. And just to say that tomorrow, as a kind of shift in the schedule, there will not be a morning Dharma talk. And then they will resume on another day after tomorrow, whatever day that is. And I didn't talk about Peter Pan. Thank you very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma Talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma.

[78:45]

For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

[78:51]

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