I vow to taste the truth of the Tathāgata's words. Good morning. Today is a one-day sitting, beginning practice period, which will end on June 15th with a ceremony or ritual of receiving the precepts for a number of people, Chūkai it's called. When we begin a ceremony of receiving precepts, we say in faith that we are Buddha, we enter Buddha's way. So, receiving the precepts is a ritual of saying, now I am entering Buddha's way.

[01:04]

But of course, we're always entering Buddha's way. The way is wherever you put your foot. But, since we are Buddha, the way we live our life is Buddha's life, when we can open our heart and pay attention to how we're living our life. And, coming to Siddhāsan, for most of us comes from some impulse to pay more careful attention to, how am I living Buddha's life? Buddha is just, you know, Buddha means awake, and we use the word Buddha, and we may think

[02:10]

of something outside ourselves, or someone who lived 2,500 years ago, but really it's how we live our life that we're attending to when we enter Buddha's way. It's just our human life and how to bring it into harmony and accord with the deepest intention of our heart. I ran across a quotation from the Talmud recently, that says something like, your heart will give you better counsel than all the world's scholars. And, I think that this is not an understanding which is limited to any particular religion.

[03:27]

This is the source of religion in human life, is listening to the heart, finding a way to become more settled, more awake to the counsel of our heart. And, this ceremony that we do has a number of aspects. It begins with, actually with purification of the space, and then purification of the mind, and then purification of the body, and then we're open and ready to receive the

[04:29]

precepts, to take refuge in Buddha, Dharma, Sangha, and receive the precepts. And, this purification of mind is called repentance. We begin with a group repentance. Repent means to express some regret for actions of body, speech, or mind, or to confess actions of body, speech, or mind, to really, in our repentance we say, I fully avow all actions of body, speech, or mind. I take full responsibility for all actions of body, speech, and mind.

[05:31]

I acknowledge all of who I am, everything that's here. I acknowledge and embrace. But, in repentance, we also say, sometimes there is some regret for some action of body, speech, or mind, which seems to have been out of harmony, which has caused, which may have caused pain or harm. And, Suzuki Roshi said once, if you feel some regret for an action, it just means you should be more conscientious next time, or perhaps it means you should be more conscious next time. To use what may be a trivial example, I have some regret today that I forgot to bring my

[06:38]

bowing cloth, because when I received this Buddha's robe, and received the bowing cloth, I vowed to use it to protect Buddha's robe. And, when I arrived here, I didn't have it. So, then I had this little balancing act to do. Do I wait until my Jisha goes upstairs to get it, and make you all just sort of sit here while I stand there? Or do I proceed, and bow without it, and express some regret, and try to be more conscious next time, and remember to bring it? There are many actions, large and small, that come up for us, and each one can remind us just to bring our attention more closely to where we are, moment after moment.

[07:42]

Because when our attention is right here, as we are acting, then we can act according to our heart's intent. Then we can feel and taste, is this action appropriate? Is it responsive to what is needed from me right now? But if my mind is caught somewhere, thinking about the past, planning for the future, wondering how I look, wondering what people will think of me, I can't really be attentive to this action of this moment, and know that it really includes everything, and is in harmony with everything. Whenever I think of repentance, I can't help but turn to Katagiri Roshi's

[09:05]

chapter on entering Buddha's way, because he has expressed, I recommend to you, to any of you who are interested in this whole practice period and our study of entering Buddha's way, our study and preparation for Jukai, I recommend that you read and reread Katagiri Roshi's chapter on entering Buddha's way, because it's not something that can be digested in a moment, but it is very deep and inspires me over and over again. So I want to just share a few, a bit of it. I have been chastised by my friends for calling too much on those teachers who have deeply inspired me, and not speaking enough of my own, bringing up enough from my own experience,

[10:17]

but this is something that I deeply love. There is a ritual in Zen Buddhism for entering the Buddha way. It consists of making formless repentance, of taking refuge in the triple treasure, and of vowing to practice the three collective pure precepts and the ten prohibitory precepts. This ritual is based on the idea of repentance, which means in Buddhism, perfect openness of heart. If we open ourselves completely, consciously or unconsciously, we are ready to listen to the voiceless voice of the universe. Repentance means in Buddhism, perfect openness of heart. If we open ourselves completely, consciously or unconsciously, we are ready to listen to

[11:19]

the voiceless voice of the universe. This is, this voice of the universe, Katagiri Roshi refers to as Buddha. He says, the spirit of the universe is Buddha, the teaching of the universe is Dharma, and the harmony of the universe is Sangha, when he speaks of the three treasures. So opening ourselves completely is repentance. Well, that means that Zazen itself, our upright sitting meditation, is itself repentance because Zazen is completely about opening oneself to the voice of the universe.

[12:25]

Trusting deeply that right here where we are, if we sit still and pay attention and listen, the voice of the universe is right here in our own body. This morning, in morning service, we chanted Fukun Sazangi, Dogen Zenji's teaching on sitting meditation. And he says, it is never apart from you, right where you are. It is in this trust and confidence that we sit upright in Zazen. And this itself, according to Katagiri Roshi, is repentance.

[13:39]

He says also that in Buddhism, repentance does not mean to apologize to someone for an error or mistake. Already this is setting up a dualism. If you think you are apologizing to someone outside yourself, this is setting up some separation between self and something outside. We are actually expressing our regret to ourselves. Oh, I want to be more open. I want to be more compassionate. I want to be more loving. I want to be in greater harmony with everything around me.

[14:46]

Not I should be or someone else is asking me to be, but just because of my own heart, from my own heart, this is how I want to live. I want to live in peace and harmony with all being, because I am not separate from all being. So this repentance is not looking outside ourselves. It is feeling some regret that we can feel in our body. Oh, this doesn't feel... something feels a little off. I want to settle myself more in my actual life and in the breathing in and breathing out with everyone that I share this life with

[15:51]

or with all of the other aspects of this life that I see around me. And he says... I have to find it. He says, What is meant by readily accepting Buddha's compassion? It means we must actualize Buddha's compassion in our everyday lives. We have to live our lives in the complete realization that we are already forgiven. We are already allowed to live and that we ourselves must make our lives come alive. We are already forgiven. We are already embraced.

[16:52]

And in a book which I received at my birthday party last night called The Music of Silence, Brother David Steindlrast is speaking of the monastic life and the hours of the day and the service that's done at the different seasons of the day in a monastery. And he's speaking of the season called Non, which is about forgiveness. Forgive us as we forgive, we ask. Jesus says those to whom you forgive their offenses, those offenses will be forgiven. Those to whom you forgive their offenses, those offenses will be forgiven. When you forgive, God forgives. In fact, Brother David says, God has forgiven before always. God has forgiven before always.

[17:59]

We are invited to let God's forgiveness flow through us into the world. And Katagiri Roshi says, repentance means to recognize that we are already forgiven. That is just the act of noticing, attending to, our regret for actions which cause difficulty, which cause disharmony. Just that itself means that we are already forgiven. This is to cultivate compassion for ourselves and for others. So in our Zazen, again and again we come back to really attending to

[19:14]

this heart from which we receive the truest counsel, really becoming open to the truth, open to our own heart and its connection with everything. Again and again with breath we return to right here. Right here. Again and again becoming aware of the connection of right here to everything. That breathing in and breathing out we begin to become personally aware right here in our own experience

[20:19]

of the total interconnectedness and interdependence of whatever we may think of as inside and outside. And this separation that we make in our mind between inside and outside becomes less real and more clearly just an idea that we have. And our connection with everything becomes more palpable, more direct, our direct experience. In that openness that comes as we attend carefully to breath we can begin to hear the voiceless voice of the universe

[21:24]

speaking through our own heart. When our heart is open, when our heart is open, it is open to the whole universe and the whole universe can be heard right here in our heart. This is our practice of repentance. To be each time we feel some regret, to return to becoming more open. Oh, I see, I was not attending to this aspect of who I am, to this aspect of this being. In my own life, this avowal,

[22:40]

the verse we say in this sort of ritual repentance that we do at the beginning of the ceremony says, all my ancient twisted karma, that is all of the actions that I, all of the accumulations of actions that I am, from beginningless greed, hate and delusion born through body, speech and mind, I now fully avow in the midst of greed, hate and delusion which are continually arising in our life, in the midst of it, we completely embrace all of our actions of body, speech and mind. Yes, this is who I am. In my own life recently, I've been talking some about

[23:43]

some of the actions of body, speech and mind that cut me off from myself when I was young. And it's been very hard for me to really, truly embrace what at that time I abandoned because I thought it was not what others wanted from me. And so I've gone on with my life, but I've always had this sort of separation in myself from essential aspects of who I am. Not being willing to be wholly just this one as it is.

[24:50]

And recently I have had the joyful experience of finally being able to embrace that which I discarded when I was about four, I think. It seems so simple, but it took me 70 years to do. And I thought, you know, we had a birthday party here last night and Lou gave me a card that had a quotation from Helen Hayes saying, the most difficult years in life are those between 10 and 70. And I thought, oh, good, the rest is just all gravy now. This is all just a free gift.

[25:56]

I don't have to worry about anything anymore. But you know, what was so wonderful about that was it was just a reminder that I had that same realization. It's all a gift, you know. After I recovered from my heart attack, I thought, gee, this is all gift from here on, you know. It's all free. And at that moment, I said, well, it's always been like that. From the very beginning, this life has been a gift. This life has been just free gratis given to me to experience. But we don't appreciate it, you know. Something has to come up to just call our attention to the fact that every breath is a gift. Every moment is a gift from the very beginning. And all we have to do is really be awake for it and appreciate it

[26:57]

and enjoy it, you know. And it's that very feeling of gratefulness for the gift of this experience of life that generates joy. Brother David said in his book, Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer, we may notice that those who are grateful are joyful. And we may think that they're grateful because they're joyful, but that's not true. They're joyful because they're grateful. And I find that to be true. When I remember that this life is a gift, then, and can really appreciate it as a gift and be grateful for it, then I find great joy flows from that. Everything is kind of refreshed by that recollection or remembrance.

[28:03]

So I commend to you, remembering from time to time, that it's all a gift, this whole life. This possibility to experience ourselves and each other and each breath. And each moment of experience, each moment of aliveness, is totally a gift. When we don't take it for granted, we can really enjoy it and appreciate it much more. Even the possibility of feeling our alienation, when we're feeling alienated, gives us the possibility of finding our connection. So this repentance,

[29:24]

deciding again and again to be more alert, more aware, more conscientious, so that we don't miss this opportunity that we've been given, so that we don't miss this life, so that we don't just let it go by, waiting for it to happen. This is repentance. This is the verse of the Han, which says, carefully, it says, Great is the matter of birth and death, impermanent, quickly passing. Awake, awake, each one, don't waste this life. This life is a gift to enjoy, to appreciate, to open our heart to.

[30:34]

And this verse is on the Han because the Han calls us to the Zen Do, to sit. The Han reminds us to come to the Zen Do, to sit still, to sit upright, to be present with ourself, and with each breath, to open our heart to the voice of the universe. With each breath, to appreciate the gift of this breath, with each breath, to experience the joy of our connection with all that is. And with each breath, to allow ourselves to experience whatever pain may come,

[31:40]

to be willing to be with and to be present with whatever comes to us in this moment. Can we appreciate it all, every aspect of our life? Can we appreciate it all as a gift of the universe? And can we give it back to the universe as a gift to the universe? Allowing it all just to flow through us, to be just part of the flowing of ongoing life, completely present and connected with everything as it is. This is our opportunity.

[32:43]

And it sounds really neat, and it sounds really easy, and it takes all we've got. It takes every bit of effort, intention, energy that we have to really be alive in our life, to really allow the universe to express life where we are, completely. And when we can, we can rejoice in it. And when we can't, we feel some regret, and we turn toward where we're feeling closed and see if we can become more open. Moment after moment, can I be more open? Can I let go of anything that's closing me off, that's separating me?

[33:51]

Can I just let it flow through me, with me, breath after breath? This is the effort of our life. It goes on as long as we're alive. The day he was dying, or the day before he was dying, Jerry Fuller said to Norman, Well, there's nothing to do but just live until you die. That's all there is to do. It's so simple. Can we do it? Can we do it? Can we just live fully and wholeheartedly? And so we sit zazen to help us find out how. We sit zazen to just stay very still in one place,

[34:58]

opening ourselves to breath, attending to any place that's not open, taking care of it, allowing it to open, breath after breath, as long as we're alive, appreciating each breath, appreciating each opportunity to see ourselves in every aspect of the universe that we bump into. So today, as we go back to the zendo, please, let's be open to the voiceless voice of the universe in our heart. Be open to the counsel of our heart.

[36:02]

Be open to whatever arises. In each moment. If we're not returning to the zendo, to sit the one-day sitting, wherever we go, whatever we do, can we be open to the vast possibility of each moment? Can we be present for whatever our life offers us? May our intention...

[36:51]

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