Marin Retreat

00:00
00:00
Audio loading...

Welcome! You can log in or create an account to save favorites, edit keywords, transcripts, and more.

This talk will not appear in the main Search results:
Unlisted
Serial: 
SF-01888
Description: 

Thursday 14th pm

AI Summary: 

-

Photos: 
Notes: 

Recording starts after beginning of talk.

Transcript: 

The middle path, middle path does not mean that, middle path means to be beyond the extreme of eternalism and to go beyond the extreme of nihilism. That is called the middle path. But if you get clinged to that middle path, then it's again not middle path. One cannot, even there is no trace of the middle path, one just cannot hold to it. So like that, you know, sometimes a lot of people think, oh, nowness, the Buddha now, let me be here right now is nowness, like that, that is not called nowness. It's a state of mind which does not have any fantasy, it's a presence, clear. When we clap in the fire practice, what does that do? Basically, only you clap in this fire practice, it's like pressing fire. Yes. Only during fire practice. Thank you.

[01:02]

I have a friend who is not doing very well, he's in a psychiatric ward in a hospital, and I wondered if after a meditation there is something you can do, not just a fire practice, but something that, you know, a few minutes of, what would you suggest? Now, one who is in a psychiatric hospital, we have to, one has to communicate to them, to help them, either one has to help by medicine, or one has to help by communication or prayers, which is sending energies, or one has to, I guess those are the two main things, or one can help them. I guess that's how to a patient, to help, either by medicine or by prayers. From a distance, just to myself. Yes. And that's basically, you can do Vajrasattva, or you can do Guru Master Mantra, or you can do a fire practice, those all work.

[02:20]

Just by meditation it won't, it won't work very much. Because the meditation will only work if your present state is extremely clear, the moment you step inside it will heal. But when the presence is not realized, then it's very hard to cleanse, to give the mind transmission to the other person. If the presence is clear, his system is just seeing it, not to give the mind transmission. Does Tonglen help? Does Tonglen practice help? Tonglen will help. Tonglen is like exchanging energy, giving the good energy to the others, and taking the negative energies of others to oneself. That helps, that's one of the way of practicing Bodhisattva Yana. And it's practiced by many Bodhisattvas, they take the sickness and suffering of other beings and they give the happiness to other beings.

[03:25]

But that will help, that will help. Depends if one has a very strong attitude and a very strong compassion, definitely exchanging will help. But basically, if a person does the meditation in front of other person, even one does not have the full realization, but if a person can do it there, once the person started to experience the presence, it can affect the other person when one is next to them. The whole energy of the place will change, and that can heal the other person tremendously. Even you do meditation next to a person, it will help. But to send that energy far away would be depending on how great your presence is. So it is very beneficial when you are with somebody who is not bad, it will be very good to sit there and you can bring some good, good blessing there. Yes?

[04:28]

When you go to the East Coast, it's been worrying me about, you know, missing you. So I wanted to talk to you about if people can get together and meditate and do practice together, and that you somehow, you know, tune in to us or, you know, stay in contact with us somehow during the time when you are gone. During the time when I'm gone, everyone can do their wundru practice at home, everyone can do their wundru practice, and then do their meditation, which is most important. How important it is, as I said, give space to whatever it thinks and do not cling, that's very important. And do the meditation, at least an hour every day. And, you know, those who are in Berkeley, you can meet there and do wundru practice or whatever, basically once you do their practice.

[05:35]

Guru Rinpoche, would you give us the Guru Rinpoche empowerment? Oh, okay, the Guru Rinpoche transmission. Enlightenment becomes very soon and immediate. And at the same time, whatever the relative wishes remain, that will also be the blessing arising from that. But the most important wish is our enlightenment. So try to be in your presence and be in your experience. But the experience blessing will be also there, whatever the relative wishes are there also. Guru Rinpoche talks about the wisdom nature. The stage of the wisdom, the wisdom nature. And the wisdom nature is like the treasure of the space. Within the space, once persons get realized, one can reveal the treasure of the space. So therefore, once the person realizes the state of the presence, once the presence is recognized,

[06:41]

then whatever the wish, you know, it just spontaneously, the wish is granted at that stage. So at that stage, you visualize Guru Rinpoche in front of the sky, and then you do it like two times, three times. And there's English translation also. And basically making the prayers that we can simply find the realization without any obstacle. And all the obstacles may be able to overcome all obstacles, because when the presence of the wisdom eye is there in front of us, then it gives the natural quality of the wisdom mind has the enlightenment. So one's received that energy of enlightenment at that stage. So this is a prayer to Guru Rinpoche, and it's very, very effective, very beneficial. And it will be very useful to you, this prayer. And if you can do it like one time or two times, and sometimes when you're very sick or not, some very difficulties, at that time, if you do this prayer to Guru Rinpoche, it's very strong.

[07:45]

Guru Rinpoche said that in the future, more than any other buddhas, his blessing will be very swift and very powerful. And I really feel that very strongly from Guru Rinpoche. And it will be very good. I would also like to do it. And make prayers. You can make prayers for those who are not well physically and mentally. And that energy will be received by them also at that stage. So that is the transmission of this, and you can do that any time. Okay, so let's go. As we have realized that in our life, and the struggle which we go through all the time, and which is the very cause, the very experience of the samsara,

[08:45]

the struggling of defending oneself, the struggle of all different emotions, that is what, on the path of spiritual path, on the path of entire states of nine yanas, the state of the Hinayana level, to the state of Mahayana level, to the state of Vajrayana level, is to unfold and liberate the struggle of our self, within ourselves, to become free within the struggle within ourselves. And this very source of the struggle within ourselves, is the very one which creates the mind not able to see as it is. And simply, when the mind is not able to see as it is,

[09:58]

there is a natural experience of a struggle there. So to put it in a very simple language, that is what is happening within ourselves. There is a struggle, that which we find ourselves within the struggle, and it's very hard for us to give up the struggle. We find it exceptionally hard when we are told to surrender, or when we are told to give up the struggle. Somehow we even get more confused sometimes. It appears to be that now I don't know what really to do. And that experience of that reaction, of that not to do something, gives a birth that now what, if I don't know to do something, there is something else to do. There is a struggle. There is yet a struggle keeping going. So it's become hard that how one can relate to Dzogchen teaching,

[11:09]

to a Mahamudra teaching, the highest yanas of this state of the mind, that really does not, as I explained, is a practice of directly recognizing the nature as it is. It does not have any process of struggle in recognizing the presence of the Real. But if we keep on the process of struggling, then a person does not come to the state of seeing that total liberation, because one is still within the experience of struggle. And that experience of struggle, fundamentally, the struggle of defending oneself, the struggle of rejection, the struggle of, there is a constant there that you want to be safe,

[12:13]

you want to be secure, I want things to be like this and that, that we have so many preconceived ideas that how things should be like this, so many conditions we manifest. And those very conditions are the very source which obscure the state of the mind. So from that point, it becomes very hard to experience the state of the presence, because one is kind of, within oneself, all the time, kind of critical. One is kind of, one is almost ready, all the time, a kind of criticism. And one is used to that criticism from so many lifetimes

[13:16]

that this criticism has its intellect, which has its own definition of values, which has its own definitions of judgments, which has its own definition of how things should be. And when your expectation is not fulfilled, according to the way you are struggling, then we get dissatisfied. And not recognizing that this dissatisfaction will keep on going forever on a struggling mood, on a struggling fashion like that. And one finds oneself, when one sees that state within oneself that there is such a struggle nature, which is very hard to absolutely let it go, you know, then almost it's like you see yourself

[14:19]

and you hate yourself. You really don't like yourself seeing that. At the same time, you do not... At the same time, it's almost like to give it up is hard. To give it up is hard. And if the lama is there and the lama says, you give it up, then it's very hard because one has certain preconceived ideas of how things should be. So one finds oneself into, that is the point where the major, major boundary of the realization and the getting back to our old habits and getting back to that old habit of struggle will be really the leading point, the major differences at this stage. If one can really see, if one can see the lama at this stage

[15:21]

from externally as the three, the lama embodies the Buddha, Dharma, Sangha, internally the lama, yidam, dakini, secretly the essence of the three kayas, which is our own fundamental nature, and then really able to understand and really able to let it go, that in twice struggle, totally surrender, without any expectation, then one will see the presence of the rupa. Then one will see the mind transcending the characterization of the experience. But if one still tries to hold that very insubstantial experience of the struggle, then one may find a long time to get to the stage of enlightenment.

[16:22]

One may need, one may almost like following the path of sutrayana on the path of vajrayana. Even you are practicing vajrayana, but you will get on the speed of sutrayana then. Because within yourself you are not really working, you are not really being open. You are still being attached to your old habit patterns. You are still being attached to those experiences, which are the habit patterns. And instead of liberating those habit patterns, one is again keeping those habit patterns as some kind of your status, or some kind of your occupation, or some kind of your personality expressed in the world. And you think if you let that go out, then you are nobody. And that is really what one has to really break through.

[17:27]

And until one has not break through that, that is called ego. That's called spiritual materialism. And on a spiritual path it's called spiritual materialism. However, that state is called the inner, the very core of the thing which binds the mind to be absolutely free and to experience the experience of the presence of the sinless God. So there is, you see, it creates, one has to recognize that precisely it's very important, and particularly able to experience the presence of the mind. One has to see that point so clearly that how we are attached to our preconceived ideas and to our habit patterns. And knowing, and when we find that, we do not like ourselves in a state almost like, but yet at the same time, that subtle development of the consciousness

[18:31]

and subtle development of that thought and emotion is like the very core which is resenting. It's almost like one does not want to experience resentment, but it's like that is your main job. And you think that if I give that up, then what do I do? And so therefore we are not able to become free from this suffering because we keep that very seed of the samsaric nature. The very seed of the samsaric nature is to have, is to entertain oneself. It's almost like you're even deeply, one wishes to be free, but what one is doing in a practical way is entertaining those very core of those experiences which brings the person back to the experience of the existence of samsara. So from that point, a practice of real surrendering means, it's not a question that some kind of struggle,

[19:35]

conceived ideas that one has. Surrendering means that one steps next to a person and bow one's head down, and now almost like, now what the person is going to do? The surrendering means one really surrenders within oneself and one should have the strength to, whatever happens, you're not going to feed your habit anymore. You're not going to create that, bring up that heat. You see yourself, you see your heat, you see yourself so clearly that now you see that that is what, the very core of that is to be liberated. And that is what is so important, particularly in the Vajrayana. One really has to sense the characterizations of those struggles within a meditation state and within a post meditation state.

[20:37]

And one has to have the partial view of the, partial pure vision. And one has to develop the partial pure vision from externally, try to develop as much as one can in a relative state by seeing sometimes whatever happening, something wrong, is really my karma. And internally understand the depth of that cause is through our struggle that we have maintained those very causes of experience of samsara through being, maintaining the struggle. And it's almost like if you give up that, you find, actually you find yourself in the presence clarity. But you think that if I give up that, then you have, you're absolutely nobody in this world. It's like everybody will just, you know, kick you or just, if you do not have the criticism, then like everybody will kick you or just do something strange.

[21:39]

And that is the core, the ignorant within oneself. Not knowing that very cause is the very one which binds one from liberation and which does not let oneself be liberated. And seeing that as something, you know, something to be really whole, something really hard inside. Not being able to see the open, fluid nature of that habit itself, that thought itself is empty by nature. It does not have any condition by nature. It is by nature unconditioned. By nature it is free. Absolutely has no struggle. But yet, yet externally piling up the experience of that condition, so we experience that condition, and it's almost like it's so hard to give up. And it's a big test. That's the biggest test. That's the biggest test all the time. It's a big test next to your teacher.

[22:40]

It's a big test within your friends. It's a big test in all situations, how one is able to integrate and really let absolutely go. It's a very big test. And that is what one has to really, one really has to understand. And then not to collect, and not to collect and practice your spiritual practice so that you are feeding your self-criticism within yourself. When we do a spiritual practice, particularly on the path of Vajrayana, one has to be so open. One has to see, relate every person into the pure vision. Every person, every man and woman. And particularly the teacher into real Buddha at that stage, otherwise the whole transmission, the whole realization will be blocked if one keeps holding that self-criticism within oneself.

[23:42]

Then the actual initiation of integration towards the wisdom will never manifest. Because the very core of the criticism, the conditions, the way one thinks, the way one expects, the way one is, you know, how things should be according to your conditions, they absolutely, the conditions are false. The conditions do not have substantial nature. The conditions are bi-fundamentally open, fundamentally empty. And if you try to keep on collecting as a condition, then it does not become the presence of the reaper. You cannot get the attainment of the liberation. You may go through, you may go through a long way, and then slowly at some point you may be able to see a lighter part of yourself. And then perhaps it may take you endless years to get enlightened. Even practicing Vajrayana, but you get on the speed of the supranetha.

[24:43]

So it is something one has to be, one has to be truthful to oneself. I think very important is one has to be truthful to oneself and have the courage of seeing to whom it is beneficial. Whether it's a benefit to myself or whether it's a benefit to the other. Whether it's a benefit to myself or whether it's a benefit to the teacher or to the somebody. If you see that it's no benefit to yourself, it's simply a benefit to the others, you can just leave it. And if you see that this is really, that I really had to integrate, and then, you know, give up the defending, give up the struggling, which is the very cause of the conditioning towards my mind, which makes the mind obscured, not seeing its presence, then we have to be really, you know, honest to oneself. And in that way, every teaching becomes a blessing. It does not become some kind of collection to feed your self-criticism.

[25:45]

So your self-criticism within yourself, your ego becomes so rich with all these things. And then when you meet somebody, you can say, oh, I have this, I have that, I have this. And what do you have? And but did you really surrender? Oh, you know, you bring all the logics. Oh, this is impersonal parameter, it says like this. And then that sutra, it says like this. Yeah, I know this, and I know that. And yet, the very core of the experience, one is still attached to those experiences. One is still being caught into those forms. One is still being continuously experiencing the experience of samsaric mind. So one never finds the experience of stainless liberation. So that is how the path of spiritual is particularly revealing the teaching of Dzogchen,

[26:47]

particularly understanding the depth of our presence. One has to see so clearly at this point, it's a very important juncture that you are making now. One can choose the same old conditioned way and keep the self-criticism, and either one can give it up and find some liberation there. That is what really, you know, every opportunity, every situation is a blessing and a teaching to us. And one cannot just label that this is good and this is bad, and I like to have this and I don't like to have that. One has to take everything as a teaching. Because this opportunity, good and bad, are presented to us, and these are the very thing which is our practice. What else one can find a practice than this environment and than this situation? If we do not find ourselves dividing those environments, dividing those states, this is something for me to practice. And that is something I cannot give up, I cannot give up my defending and my struggle,

[27:55]

because it's terribly bad. I want to be very conditioned, and to this I don't like to be conditioned. And then you find yourself into many divided states of mind. You find yourself into more conditions. And that is called, like, fanaticism. That is called extremist. That's like dogmatic. And you have your logics, you have your support to reassure your criticism, because it says in the text, one should, you know, this and that, and then one should be like this and that. So you bring all kinds of your own interpretation there, so that you can show the world that you are right. But in fact, one is deceiving oneself. One is deceiving oneself because one is not really integrating one's pure presence, one nature of their perfection state.

[28:59]

At that stage, one is still using those situations as a conditioning, then seeing those situations to be in transcendence. Those situations do not rule us. Our own state of mind is ruling them, in fact. The external situation, no matter how it could be, could be a great blessing, if one can understand. The external situation cannot be any problem to us, if we can surrender the very core of that, that heart in His Holiness' confession prayer, He said, like the mind like a horn, the very tough one, the rugged one, the state of that self, almost like that self is ready to criticize. That is what one has to break. One has to liberate that state, stay deep within that state. Until one does not liberate that state,

[30:01]

one may find oneself being absolutely in a realm of experience and existence, and one never knows who one is. One never knows one's nature, one never knows one's state of being, how it is, simply clear. That simple, clear nature we are not able to realize, we are not able to understand, because we have all the time tragedies. We have all the time preconceived ideas. Even we put that preconceived ideas to our own teacher, that my teacher should be like this, and like this, but he should be like this, he should be looking very peaceful, and he should be like this, and this, and that, all kinds of ideas, even one will manifest to a Buddha. If the Buddha Shakyamuni appears right now, we may say that his ear is a little too long, or you know, his ear has got to be, some kind of, because we are not able to give up our own struggle from within ourselves, so we always find those as a, you know, it's almost like that self-criticism becomes so accessible,

[31:05]

and it gives you all the tools you need to make the samsara, immediately. It gives you everything so easily. It's like in an operation room, a doctor and a nurse. The doctor then, you know, a knife, immediately there is a knife, and then it gives you every logic support so that you are right. It gives every logic support so that you think you are right. But in fact, that very core of the struggle within ourselves, trying to defend ourselves, and that is what has to be liberated. And then one really finds the state of the presence clear, transcending all conditions. Then one finds oneself in the state of clarity. And for that, the practice has to be integrated, purely. Practice has to be integrated purely, courageously, not that, OK, partially, this is the place where I will,

[32:07]

oh, this is the, they are all practicing Buddhism, perhaps I can liberate my condition here, but those are not Buddhism, I'm not going to do it, you know. In that way, you are still keeping your struggle within yourself. You are still having your self-criticism within yourself, where you criticize that condition simply because they are not labeled as Buddhist or they are not labeled as whatever you believe. So therefore, you are again feeding yourself with the spiritual materialism. And in fact, it's worse, because you are not seeing yourself clearly. Instead, you are using the Dharma as something to, you are using the Dharma in a wrong interpretation. The Dharma is not that, you know, it is, the Dharma is the inner realization of our state of mind.

[33:11]

The Dharma is not something external, and it's not something conditioned external. And when we are not able to, not able to understand, then we keep this, we keep this, you know, this, it's almost like a rotten idea within ourselves. And of course, the rotten idea, rotten things always smell, and it's always terrible wherever it is, the state of the confused mind is always like that, wherever we smell there is the doubt and suspicious and conditioned, and wherever you smell, you know, everywhere you just see that. And that is what one has to recognize, that self-criticism within oneself, that self-criticism always, you know, always judging, always, you know, telling you the values, always, you know, pinpointing, one has to recognize that very clearly. And once one has recognized that,

[34:13]

now it is you, there is a son and a daughter, you, my son and daughter, now it's up to you to transcend that. Buddha said, I've shown you the path of liberation, now it's up to you whether you get enlightened or not. Whether you liberate that state or not, now it's up to you. And you can't blame to anybody. You can't blame to your friends, you can't blame to your family, you can't blame to the society, you can't blame to the country, you can't blame to any situation, it is up to you how you liberate your self-criticism within yourself. If you blame to anything, you are just trying to defend your self-criticism. You are just simply trying to defend your own ego. And when a person really does one practice, when one is about to really transcend the ego, then one sees that. And for to see that, I've been explaining, you know,

[35:13]

how important we have to accumulate the merit and to practice the compassion. So it gives us the strength to see the truth. All possible, the truth to see our good part, the truth to see our dirty part, the truth to see our best part. The good, bad and ugly, you know, there's a cover. Good, bad and ugly. It gives the truth to see our good, bad and ugly part. And without seeing that, we may not overcome the confusion of the mind. We have to see that so clearly. And that is, then you will find that there is a self-criticism within oneself that you are ready to criticize. And you find, and when you see that at the beginning, it's almost like you don't like yourself. You see that as a bad. At the same time, you think that if you give that up, then you lose your job, you know. You have nothing else to do.

[36:14]

And that is really me. And if you find, now who is really me? You find that part is really you. And that is why, you know, the core of the suffering is remaining there. That is what the dharma, the point of doing dharma is to liberate. The point of doing dharma is to clean up that mess. Then the teaching, then the practice become a true practice, which is able to benefit oneself and which is able to benefit the others. And then one sees the state of the presence clearly. And that is very important, this surrendering part. That is why surrendering part is the most difficult. Because it's the very point, you know, how you do it is the very point. And one has to think it very carefully, how, you know, one has to really, deeply insight, whether it's for my benefit, or it's the benefit for the teacher, or it's the benefit for somebody. If you see clearly it's the benefit for the teacher,

[37:19]

that, you know, all the surrendering part, just, you can leave it today. You don't have to do it. But if you see, really, that is where I'm getting stuck. That is what this self-criticism is. Then, you know, one has to integrate, not only next to the teacher, not only to your family, not to your friends, but to everybody, wherever, all the situation is a blessing to you. Every opportunity manifesting is a blessing to us. It's a gift to us that one can see. Whether it's good, whether it's bad, or ever come, it's a great thing that you can really, you know, finally, you can do that. And when you find yourself you can do that, you will find a great joy, a great liberation, a great happiness inside. And that is how the state of the first Bhumi of Bodhisattva to the second Bhumi of Bodhisattva, they have integrated like that. They didn't say that, you know, this part I'm going to surrender

[38:21]

and I'm going to completely let it go. Surrender, you know, is absolutely letting go without any expectation. One transcends one characterization of excitement, of fascination, of, you know, of having your ideas how things should be and like that. Absolutely one let it go. Then one sees that presence at the stage. And that is how Bodhisattva was attained like that. Milarepa saw that so clearly, so therefore, however the external situation was presented to him by his teacher, absolutely breaking his self-criticism all the time inside. He is conditioned many times, he was so fortunate enough to see his self-criticism. Many times, for instance, Marpa told him to build a round house. After building the round house, then Marpa said one day, Oh, I'm sorry, you have to build a square one. And after building the square one, then he said, Oh, I made, you know, last time I made a little mistake.

[39:21]

You know, my son needs some kind of triangle, you know, some kind of that. I need some kind of triangle. And after building that, then he said something else. Now during this time, of course Milarepa was still going under the purification. Of course he was still within his criticism. Now that is called really meeting with the greatest wisdom. That is how one has to understand. If you can really see that, that is there. Meeting with the Dharma is a tremendous fortune. It doesn't happen just like that. One can see deeply within oneself. It's a tremendous good karma one has accumulated for many lifetimes. It's not some kind of, you know, just like a grandfather telling stories. Things could be like that. It's a real thing happening there. It's a real cooking of your ego, a real cooking of your, you know, it's like completely peeling off all those neuroses within oneself. So then Milarepa, though it was hard,

[40:25]

but yet he was strong. Yet he was strong. And then each time, you know, he was almost like, everything was a teaching for Milarepa. One day a Marpa student from the other town came and they were all receiving teaching. And then Milarepa working so hard for his teacher all the time. And then Milarepa stepped inside the room and Marpa said, Who told you to come inside the room? Get out! And again breaking his criticism inside. Again the very core which is trying to have his idea, condition put inside. Constantly the Lama giving the mind transmission. Constantly breaking it. So finally until, you know, entire of his self-criticism was no more there. Then he got the final empowerment and that is how it became the greatest realized teaching. And every one of us gone by that in a different style. Of course no one goes through the same style. Each, the lineage, the blessing of the lineage

[41:25]

is being passed like that in a living tradition from the teacher to the student and it's even today the same as before. Their styles, simply their styles are different. So Milarepa's and Marpa's style was different. You know, each one of his teacher's style is different. But fundamentally important thing for the student to recognize one's self-criticism in oneself and then to liberate their self-criticism. Otherwise it will become, it's almost like a shopping, you know. It's like a spiritual shopping there. It's almost like, you know, it's almost like to show the world how strong your self-criticism is. That how smart your self-criticism is. I know Buddhist philosophy, I know Christian philosophy, I know Hindu philosophy, I know this thing, I know that thing and then your self-criticism always have the logic, always have the, to show the world that how smart it is.

[42:26]

But in fact, there is always a pain inside. And when we, within the Dharma, when one recognizes the nature of samsaricness, nature is that pain, then for the first time you are starting to awake. Wait a minute, now what are my self-criticism is something, not just, you know, is something, the nature has been a pain. And so for the first time you are having a glimpse of the truth that that self-criticism, that condition, that expectation has created a suffering, it didn't create a happiness within us. For the first time, for the first time, very first time, you're just beginning to wake up. Just beginning to wake up. And that is how, you know, one really has to work sincerely and purely on the Katha Dharma. If you do not work like that,

[43:27]

then, you see, the Dharma does not become an effect within oneself very much. It will become like some kind of idea. It will become some kind of ideas and some kind of dogmatic or some kind of thing, so that you show yourself knowing so many stuff, but in fact what you know is nothing. What you know is just a bunch of ideas, a bunch of things which does not, you know, which you take it as something lightly, as something not purely. One has to dig deep within so one is able to transcend. Every situation comes in contact to liberate them. And how do we liberate? Liberate oneself. Not thinking like the, you know, it's like people teaching, oh, you go and kill everybody and all your enemies will be finished. It doesn't finish like that. You have Shantideva said, if you want to kill the enemy, kill the enemy of hatred. If you liberate the hatred,

[44:27]

you liberate the anger, all the enemy is liberated. But as long as you do not liberate that self-criticism, that neurosis of that anger itself, one may never find oneself being free. One will always bring the retinues of that anger, the conditioned states of manifesting, seeing other people as enemy, seeing how bad they are, and your expectation, you know, which brings the birth to all the neurosis come once after a moment. That is how the practice of Vajrasattva, the practice of Dharma, purely means such a strong blessing to cleanse that state. And that is called the essence of the Dharma. So... So...

[45:33]

In His Holiness' Mountain Retreat Teaching, the Mountain Retreat Teaching is a complete stages of the Vajrayana practice in one's life. The way His Holiness explained, is recognizing, as I said about that, our main deception, the experience of deception, which is our self-criticism. The criticism, not self-deception, the criticism basically, criticism all the time, the state of mind which is ready to criticize, how to liberate. And to liberate such a state, one has to go gradually, one has to understand step by step. So for that reason, for that reason, it's a very extremely profound teaching, which explains in many different states of level.

[46:40]

And I'm sure that it will be a great blessing for us to understand and realize what His Holiness' meaning, mentioning. So, the main thing here, you see, the core, or the very seed of this samsara, is that the mind being binded by that conditioning, mind being binded by the conditioning, that there is something we are not able to, we are not able to see ourselves, because we have not freed ourselves. We are not openers. And it's become so hard, even to open, because if you try to open, then right after that, you just think, then immediately after that, there's another habit manifesting. It's almost like you find yourself not being free. Wherever you go,

[47:41]

you will find yourself, if you go to the east, there is someone waiting for you. If you go to the west, there is other people waiting for you. If you go to the north, there is someone waiting for you. It's absolutely, you have no privacy. You don't have any privacy. Wherever you go, if you try to stop thinking this, there is something else coming on. And the thing is, one has not known that presence. Now, the last four days, we have gone through that teaching, how that presence, we view meditation and action, not knowing that presence. One finds every expression of that arising state as some kind of process, some kind of struggle. One does not see the nature, deep within that struggle, is the unconditional liberation state. One is simply catching up, collecting all those expressions, and when you collect all those expressions, it becomes a struggle. And that struggle becomes solidified, and that solidified is the experience of this life now. That is Goswami Sarva.

[48:43]

This existence is the solidification of one's own expression. So it's become, you know, that ignorance. Ignorance simply does not mean that it doesn't think anything, or it doesn't have any... It doesn't mean like a blank state of empty sky. It has a very intelligent state also. It's almost like very, very intelligent. Intelligent from the sense, it gives its own reason, like the criticizing, you know, just we went before, how... And that is something, and when a person keeps on having that grasping, fundamental, fundamentally clinging and grasping, which gives the birth to all different neuroses, and then we take an endless life, endless different existence life, endless... sometimes born in the heavenly realm, sometimes born in the titan's realm, sometimes born in the human realm, sometimes born... because we created that condition by ourselves.

[49:45]

We created that because we cling to... cling to... cling to this experience. We did not let the experience be as it is. We have never trusted... we have never trusted deep within, and we just... we got seduced and caught by this experience. So does experience, this produces the whole entire manifestation of the love, like we see exactly in the dream, that how we are seduced and how we are caught into the existence of hell. Yet the whole nature was empty. The whole nature was empty. If we could have seen the presence at this state, we would be totally liberated. So, there is no substantiality in reality also. When a person fully can realize there is no obstruction, even in this physical form. One time there was this great mahasiddha,

[50:51]

called one of the great mahasiddha, who attained... a mahasiddha means attaining the state of enlightenment. Enlightenment means knowing in a very scientific way, we will call, who knows the nature of the matter. Who is enlightened, who has seen the total nature of the entire matter's experience, actually. But matter seems to be as a heavier part for a very ordinary state, because one is very strongly, grossly conditioned to that. So one cannot see the deep, deep, the lightest state. So therefore, one cannot overcome that process. So when Drupada Dacaba, one of his Drupada, a great mahasiddha, as he was a great practitioner of kilaya, and then there have been many other stories, so this mahasiddha was a great practitioner of kilaya,

[51:54]

kilaya deiti, who got realized by the practice of kilaya. And then when Sakya Pandita went to see him, Sakya Pandita was walking next to the water, and Sakya Pandita was a great scholar who can understand the language of the element. Because every language element speaks. One does not have the knowledge, one is limited by knowledge, but those who understand that, they can understand what this element is speaking. The fire also gives the message, the water also gives the message, the wind gives the message, whether it's a happening of war or whatever, there's a lot of message coming in the element. And of course, we are functioning within the element, we have to remember that. So, so the mahasiddha was pronouncing a little bit wrong in the mantra, his pronunciation was not correct. And Sakya Pandita heard the pronunciation through the river sound,

[52:58]

water sound. He was a great, great, extremely great scholar. And then he traces where the sound is coming from, through the river flow. An ordinary one who never has that knowledge would absolutely not hear any mantra. It's just the sound of water. So then he traces the sound of the mantra, where it came from. And then he found in a cave, one yogi sitting there. And then he said, what do you do? He said, yeah, I do kilaya practice. And he said, listen, you are doing your mantra a little bit wrong. The mantra of kilaya is om bezar kili kilaya. It's called om bezar kili kilaya. But you are saying, om bezar kili kilaya. It's not kili kilaya. Sakya Pandita was more into the,

[54:01]

he was more into, though he was a great scholar, he was more into the insubstantial condition. It's not totally the state of the mahasiddha. But he was very great. The mantra of the kilaya is kili kilaya, not kili kilaya. And the mahasiddha took his purva and he put into the cave, all between the rocks, transparent totally. He said, whether it's kili kilaya or whether it's kili kilaya, this is it, he said. He said. So whatever you think, whether it's kili kilaya or whether it's kili kilaya, this is it. So he showed the mantra. So therefore, everything, when it's light, it's called the awakening state, which is completely waking up

[55:01]

from this gross substantiality, and one completely, that is, the state of the rainbow bodhisattva, where the entire gross elements dissolve and then completely get to the presence of absorption. So the reality of absorption is incredibly great. It's just almost one cannot even imagine how the state could be like. It transcends all conditions, transcends all the patterns and the influence of the entire conditions. So that is, to reach such a state, one has to do, you know, a tremendous practice, one has to do a very proper practice, as I said, the best being, you know, every day, make a time. Even one may not have the time to, you know, go up in the mountains, one does not have the ability to really give up the life. If one really gives up the life, really think of a dharma, I think one can succeed. But, you know, you feel like if you give up,

[56:04]

then one is so attached to the condition, and that is the only thing which is binding, actually. One's own attachment to the condition is binding. And we actually, one can blame to other things. Actually, it's one's own self. But that's hard, you see, because one is so used to conditions from so many lifetimes, so to give up those attachments becomes a little bit hard. You think, if I have to go to a retreat, I have to have a good place to stay, and I need this, and I need my vitamins, I need my medicine, I need a good sleeping bag for winter, and a life jacket for the summer, and perhaps if I'm going to be next to the ocean, I will need some, you know, swimming gear, once in a while. So actually, one is still not surrendering, you know. The true yogi is called, like, absolutely free. It's called chatelwa. Chatelwa. Because free from all works. And that's free. That's difficult.

[57:04]

So we have lots of, you know, things there. And we blame that, oh, maybe I will get sick, you know, if I don't have this. And it's basically someone's own attachment manifesting. Thank you, Jim. Sometimes for me it seems easier to go off into a mountain somewhere and not deal with the things that I need to do, you know, that I've created for myself externally. So there seems to be a fine line between escaping and retreating. Do you understand what I'm saying? No, no, that's, you know, one has to be, when one goes to a, when one starts a practice, it should be like, you know, it should be very firm. It says, now until, like Buddha Shakyamuni, Buddha Shakyamuni said, when he put the straw mattress, the kusha grass under the Bodhi tree, he said, now whatever happens until I gain enlightenment, I'm not going to move from this. And that kind of courage, strength, one has to have.

[58:07]

You know, otherwise you see the really very core of it. You know, the whole life is, life is existence of conditioned mind. Actually there is, everything is a joke, you know. To see this life as something serious is seeing your dream as serious. What is serious in dream? Actually there is nothing serious within the dream. But that's the thing, so sometimes escape does not mean that some people have this wrong understanding, you know, it's almost like escaping, trying to, trying to, you know, it's like telling that, oh, dream is serious, and don't try to get away from the dream, you know. It's actually, from the very deep point, there is again a condition, it's an attachment. One has to give up attachment. And one's really transcendent attachment, the point of going to the mountain is give a better opportunity when one is within oneself to see that clearly. Because one experiences the element all the time. One, how one can liberate oneself from which, binds oneself from this essence,

[59:09]

that is what one really has to understand. So actually it's our own attachment which is producing this labelling, this state and labelling that state. So therefore, you see, actually one cannot blame, one cannot blame to the situation. It's simply one's own attachment. So, and as long as a person is not able to give up their attachment towards the experience, basically the experience is the display of the presence. That is what really the manifestation of their life is, the expression of the presence. And when one is really out of the presence and getting cling to it, and saying, oh, this experience is so important, actually that is a joke, actually. That is a bit of a joke. But yet, you know, we have every different kind of logic to say that experience is important. We bring all different source of, you know, source of material to prove that we are right,

[60:10]

that the experience is good, and all things like that. So that's called the biggest joke, actually. There is no, we lose our entire presence, we lose our integrity. So, to become a true, true Dharma practitioner, one really has to see that so clearly that nature, the criticizing nature within oneself. And then, that to become enlightened, one should liberate the defending, and trying to protect that defending, and trying to preserve that identity. And what you find the identity is criticism. You find the identity as a criticism, that's all you find. If you look deep within, you find a state of mind which is very rugged, tough, and its nature is full of criticism. And what it can come out is a lot of neurosis. And that is what we have to liberate. One has to see that point. One has to liberate that state. Until one does not liberate, then it's become almost impossible

[61:15]

to be out of this state of samsara. So one has to be, you know, absolutely understanding, you know, like Milarepa, deeply the nature of samsara. How deeply, you know. And once one really understands the nature of samsara, then you can integrate the Mahayana practice, or Vajrayana practice, into the essence. And the Vajrayana has the greatest skillful means, you know, where you can find yourself in your presence. And then you may not be, you may find yourself in a presence in such a powerful way, because the initiation of Vajrayana, because of the instruction of the teacher, of showing you the nature of presence, is so powerful that, you know, it's almost like one finds oneself instantaneously within the practice of Vajrayana. That is so important. But for that, deeply inside, you have to give up the defending.

[62:16]

Deeply inside, you have to liberate that condition. Deeply inside, one has to give up that attachment. Because they will, again, if one is not able to give those things, then again it will bring back the collections of every other neurosis. It's still, you know, one is not able to just cut it clear. It's almost like pulling back, and once in a while you take it, and then again you push it back. And then it's slightly difficult. But the point is, a continuity of practice is very important, as I said. When you do the continuity of practice, you don't have to think. It will show the way itself. Because if one has the insight clear, insight of the Dharma, if one has the compassion, if one has the diligence, the devotion, naturally the wisdom will come to oneself. But if one keeps on using those, you know, using the Dharma as a collection,

[63:17]

and when the time comes to integrate that practice, you do not integrate. When the time comes to really liberate that anger, you do not liberate. When the time comes to liberate the jealousy, you do not liberate. And inside you are collecting them, and when it comes to verbal exploitation, you say, oh, I'm a practitioner. And it's absolutely the mind and the Dharma, it's not mixed together. Then you find yourself in a very different state. You don't find yourself being benefited by them. So one has to... Of course, one cannot... It's very hard to be very straightforward that you can just give up the attachment just like this. I didn't mean that you, you know, you shouldn't do that. You know, if you can do it, it's great. It's for one's own benefit. It's very great. But if you find yourself in a state of difficulty and you recognize that it is difficulty, that is also great. Because you find yourself, well, that is how my mind is functioning,

[64:21]

but yet my mind is conditioned, and I need to work on that. And if you have that understanding, it's wonderful. There's almost like a big change, because henceforward, when you face those circumstances, you have a mindfulness that if I keep on feeling bad, then it could be terrible. Even you may do one or two times, but you will see and you won't repeat that same thing, and you will be able to... Very slowly, slowly, one is able to come to a presence. And for that, the continuity of the practice, the presence is so important. So, you know, when we think of... To hear a Dharma, only the human body has the greatest potential out of all the existence. The existence of... The existence of human being is such a wonderful state when we think of terms of enlightenment,

[65:22]

because it's a state where the existence of human life ensures us, it almost keeps you in a panicky state, actually. The human existence has a blessing to give us this panic. And this panic gives you the support, if you understand, to become realized. In the devas' realm, they live for thousands of years, and whatever they think, they just get, just by wishing, because of their tremendous karma, positive karma strength, they can just, you know, have it there. And they're not able to see the presence of their mind, they're caught into their experience, so it's become an attachment, and then they're constantly caught, and they'll never be able to free from their own attachment of the mind. So it's become the source of attachment, and the attachment grows, and they can live very peacefully, they don't get sick, because of their karma.

[66:25]

Their karma is such that they don't get sick for long, they have very healthy state, and they're very pleasurable, so they're absolutely intoxicated into the experience of pleasure. So, really, to see the suffering state, it's not always there, as much as in a human being. But it does not mean that they're free from their suffering, they're free from their fear. They have their fear, and particularly their fear is at the time of death. At the time of death, before seven days, they hear a word from the sky, saying, after one week, you're going to die. That is their karma, before they die. Every existence has its own karma. And when they hear that, and it's such a suffering, because they have such a pleasurable life, and to see that it's going to be loose, such a fear is there. And at the same time, they have full knowledge

[67:28]

to see where they can be born in the next life. Whether their karma is exhausted, and now, after their karma is exhausted, are they going to be born in hell realm, or in that existence, and to see it going to a lower level, even more fear at that stage. It's like the worst thing happening from one side to the other. And then, the duration of the one being is incredible. One human, 50 human years, is one deva's day. One of the lowest devas' day, is 50 human years, is one deva's day. And then the other one, quantum sleep, their 50 days, is their one day. And they live like that for thousands of years, in their counting of the days. It's such an immense, immense pleasurable, for such a long time. So, for one week, the lowest realm of the devas has to go like us, when we count, it's almost like 300,

[68:29]

almost 250 years. 350 years. In terms of human duration time, it's 350 years of human, for their seven days. And that's how much they suffer. And, usually, they have the natural born flower into their body, and their body never have any smell or odor. And the smell started to happen, the body started to odor, the flower started to wane. And then all the other devas, they see them, and they do not come close. They get far away, leave them isolated. And then it's even more painful to see that. One has been abandoned now. And when one sees that, and to see that one is born into a next realm, and then to see this being abandoned by all other devas, it's such a suffering at that stage. And it's too late, because now they see at the last moment,

[69:34]

and this is a very depressing state. It does not have any quality to do it oneself. It does not have any, the support is not there at that stage. And then the younger, all the other devas, they come and they make the wish, may you be born here again. That's what they make the wish. And then after one passes, so there is no opportunity. Now in human realm, we have such a great blessing from that point, really. We shouldn't think of it, you know, this is great. Of course, in human being, there are many kinds of human being. But precious human being is someone who can really see the core of this suffering, this samsaric state, and who has met with the dharma, and who can really integrate the dharma, and to see that the life is such a precious, and it's also impermanent. We could die any time. And if we die, whether still we have this good karma to be back as same as what we are now, we don't know.

[70:35]

Whether we have that, that is up to oneself. If we are, what we are doing now, it says in many teachings, we do not need prophecy of nobody. What we are doing now is the very thing which will happen to us later. And what has happened in the past is what we are now. And so one has to understand, you know, the result of cause and effect of this. So in human dream, we are in a state of like, it's almost like, you know, a panic state. And particularly in California, we do not know when this earthquake, the big earthquake is going to happen. So all these situations, we just can't just be, you know, or just be like a frivolous. We really have to, you know, maintain our health, we have to go to see doctor, and so many stuff. And now in really practicing the dharma, this is equally strengthful from that point, where one really sees that the duration of life

[71:39]

is absolutely impermanent. If you really see it. And from that point, if one does not do practice right now, what is really the greatest medicine, then one can never, one never knows where one will be. You never know that while you breathe out, can you breathe inside. No one has said that, you know, you're going to die before me and you will be after that. You know, it doesn't count by age, it doesn't count by what. No one never knows what kind of situation one will have. And if we keep on building the condition karma like this, then one is absolutely sure that one will be, one will be, ended up in a very different state. So one has to use the dharma immediately, you know, so that one really find the liberation, like Milarepa, who said, me Milarepa, I'm never ashamed of my own doctrine. That's the Milarepa style. So, one has to, one really has to, one really has to think that very deeply.

[72:41]

One really has to understand the life very deeply so that we do not waste this life and understand the point. And I think it's a great blessing the human state has a panic state. And we need that thing, so it's almost like waking up us all the time and we need the remembrance of that. So, so a true, there is a, you know, there is a very true practitioner with completely able to give up the, give up the attachment, will be able to give up the very core, able to transcend the characterization. From the doctrine point, you know, there is a level of understanding. Giving of attachment, transcending the characterization, they are different. Giving of attachment is almost like the practice of Hinayana, where they condition themselves to give of attachment. But Dzogchen does not condition anything. The Dzogchen sees the presence as it is,

[73:43]

and within as it is, when it springs from the condition. And that is, like, you know, you see yourself clearly like the sky. There is no fabrication. So, one can almost say, to see such a state, one has to give the attachment, because without giving the attachment, one may not see the presence. If one is attached to the experience, one doesn't see the presence of the Dzogchen. If you are seduced and attracted to the experience of blissful, you do not see the presence of the clerical mind. If you get seduced to the clarity, you do not see the clerical mind. If you get seduced to anything, there does not have the strength to liberate the situation, to liberate the state of the mind. So, therefore, one has to work from a basis by understanding, you know, even in a relative way, that our attachment should be less. So, from that point, in his confession,

[74:44]

his son has said that, please bless us so that we can be easily satisfied. So, it does not create a thick mask. It does not create a thick mask of gross element into the state of the mind. And that is very important. All this teaching can be interpreted into the absolute Vajrayana teaching. The thing is, these are all supported, the entire nine yana connections. And it's not something, just ordinary state of saying, OK, please bless me so that I will be easily fulfilled. You know, it's not some kind of very short message. It is a very deep message to me. Because if we are so grossly involved, so grossly involved with our conditioned experiences, then one may never find the presence of the ripple mind. And, therefore, one may never see the state of the five wisdom natures in enlightenment.

[75:45]

One will be caught into the realm of existence all the time. So, therefore, it is a very deep message and that blessing comes so one can really, over the time, overcome the very core of our dissatisfaction. Overcome our pain. Overcome our suffering. Dharma is the medicine, is the nectar, which heals oneself from death and gives the joy of the greatest liberation. It's not a pain. It's not a point of going to a pain. Sometimes it appears like a pain because you have to really work that on. But when you really work on, you get well. It's like when you go to an operating room with a doctor. I would say at the beginning, we go through some kind of difficulty at the beginning. When the doctor starts operating with a very sharp knife, I don't think it will be a very beautiful sensation at the beginning. But when he really cuts it out and he takes out the guts and whatever which is not needed there, he throws it out and, you know, puts some ointment,

[76:46]

and then we start to begin to feel better. Then we really feel good. And that's how one has to be strong enough to face the operating room if one is to heal. If one does not have the courage to face those sharp knives and gets scared to see the operating room, one will never find oneself in a clear state. You have to absolutely trust yourself at that stage in the situation. Absolutely be strong, and then you'll find yourself being healed. That is how one has to approach it. And otherwise, you know, not being able to give the attachment entirely. As I said, we blame the situation. Oh, I want to go to retreat, and I want this and that and that. And then, you know, that kind of mind, not being able, absolutely able to transcend, not being able to completely give up the struggle, yet defending ourselves internally.

[77:47]

What we defend? We defend a criticizing state of the nervousness mind. We defend a state of mind which is always criticizing, which is always prejudiced, which is always, you know, conditioning, which is not able to see its presence, and that's what we are trying to defend. And that is what we are trying to struggle all the time. And one has to liberate that struggle. One has to really let go that struggle out. And then, one can really come to the stage of freedom. That's called freedom. What else freedom? Freedom doesn't come from outside. Freedom comes within oneself. And if the inside freedom is attained, then wherever we are, there is a freedom. So, otherwise, you know, again, kind of collecting those conditions. And then, the very core of that grasping will become the seed, and the external object will become like the circumference. And in between, someone will give you a seductive idea. Say, oh, this is, you know, you need this, you know.

[78:52]

And it's like, you know, painting in all colorful manners. Oh, this is, you know, supporting your entertainment. This is what. And then, in between, the causes is the grasping, and the circumference is the appearance. And in between, you know, it's called the influence of negativity. Because one is not able to free oneself. One does not find oneself strong enough. You know, it's like going to the operating room. It's like, first you're scared of facing that operation. You're very scared inside. And then, when you see those knives, it even makes you more scarier. And then, you know, one person comes and says, oh, now, you know, it could be really terrible. I don't think so you really have to go to the operation room. Then it will be terrible. Then, you know, in between, the obstacle comes. And then you say, maybe I shouldn't do that. It's something like that. One should have tremendous courage to give up, to transcend that.

[79:56]

Because until one is really deeply within oneself, to transcend that characterization or condition, then one is always caught within the experience. The presence is never realized. The presence of the mind, which is so clear, like a stainless sky mind, is never experienced. Because it's almost like the sky being seduced by a rainbow, or sky being seduced by a cloud. The sky never gets seduced by a cloud. And the sky never gets seduced by a rainbow. The sky is never afraid of the cloud. And the sky never has an appreciation for the rainbow. It is synthesized. And therefore, sky has its balance. Sky has its presence there. It's free from those conditions. Free from no matter what has arisen. So in our state of mind, whether it's a very positive thought or whether it's a very negative thought,

[80:56]

one finds both as a display of the expression of the presence. There is no binding to it. None of them can rule our state of mind. And to reach that, experience that all the time, able to transcend that characterization, one needs a tremendous presence practice. One needs great Dzogchen practice all the time. One has to have that presence while eating, while walking, while doing anything. And Dzogchen does not specifically say that this is the rules and regulations of Dzogchen. It's not a black and white manifestation. Black and white manifestations are basically shown in the teaching of experience. They are not shown in the presence. So they are limited. Because the mind has a limited understanding, it is important to show a way, OK, this is how you have to do, and this is how things have to be done, and this is how things have to be done. But within the experience of a realized presence, they can manifest in so different ways,

[81:59]

because basically their warmth is a tremendous bodhicitta, tremendous compassion at this state, so it manifests in all different forms. Into peaceful, into ratna quality, into padma quality, into buddha quality, into karma quality, into all different kinds of qualities it can manifest. And they will all be a blessing of freeing oneself from the defending of the criticizing. That very neurosis of the mind will be purified and will be liberated by those expectant. Because the nature of the sun is a light, the nature of the emptiness, the presence, is a tremendous bodhicitta that one can ever enrich. It's not black and white sympathetic style of mind. Sometimes we misinterpret the compassion mind and the bodhicitta mind. Our compassion mind is almost like a black and white style. It's a so limited sympathetic mind.

[83:01]

You just think, oh, that person has nothing so I'd like to see, and if the person does accordingly the way you wish, it's fine. If the person does not do, then your self-criticism will manifest again. That's not called the bodhicitta mind. That's called the very relative. It's a good state of mind, but very limited. It has. But a person has to practice through that limitation because one does not understand the total openness of the person. And to be able to experience the person, that is what we do in meditation, within the Dzogchen practice, one is able to see the ultimate bodhicitta mind, not the relative bodhicitta mind. To get to the ultimate bodhicitta mind, one has to practice, one has to climb this ladder of the relative to reach the roof of the ultimate bodhicitta. The ultimate bodhicitta is like the roof and the relative bodhicitta is like the ladder. Without climbing on the ladder, you don't reach the roof. So, but the way the Vajrayana practices

[84:06]

is almost like you don't climb on that ladder by foot. It's almost like, you know, one of those machines where you can sit and just go straight. But you have to go, you know, but you have to make the effort to reach the roof. You go anyway. You overcome all the space. When we go to New York from San Francisco, it doesn't mean that you completely skip the Midwest. You come or you go over this place, but it's very fast. It doesn't mean you have never been to Midwest. You fly over every space, every single ground of Midwest. So the speed is like that, reaching the Vajrayana, that one is so fast that one is able to come to the presence so quickly. So now,

[85:10]

so that if, again, when the mind is grasping, again, we started to feel our experience by our grasping mind. Again, we get seduced by that experience. And then the entire expression of that will become like a more seduction so that person never finds one's battle and presence. So then again, their life becomes like exactly as ordinary as before. So one, a true practitioner should have the courage to really, not to being attached, not to being understand the very core of our suffering comes from the struggle, comes from defending ourselves, comes from trying to preserve our conditions. And that is what really creating the mind from not seeing its unconditioned state. So therefore, one understands very clearly and then absolutely open oneself

[86:15]

and in a way to completely one really faces that. And it's like a big challenge, I would say, at the beginning that one is so used to defending oneself for so long time. And for the first time, when you really integrate that, almost like you just don't know where to open and where not to open and how much you can open. And one should have the strength not to check to oneself that how much you can open. Because if you have the idea that how much you can open, definitely pretty soon you will close up again. So one should not have the idea that how much I am going to open. So now, at this point, we will go to the meditation first and then I will explain it. The teaching of Mahayana retreat teaching basically explain the life quality

[87:19]

and the life nature of a great yogi. It's how to become a yogi and how to integrate the teaching on the path and how one can overcome the obstacles of the view, meditation and action. As essentially, in order to succeed on the path of spiritual path, we have to overcome the obstacles of the presence, view, meditation and action. And when we are not able to see the arising state of the mind and the way it functions and the way it is systematically caught and conditioned within the hope and fear which influence every state of arising mind,

[88:21]

then it's becoming hard to overcome and succeed on the spiritual path. So the most important thing is one has to have such a clear presence all the time so that we do not become confused fundamentally. Now, fundamental does not count as some kind of way back time as we might project. We used to have some kind of preconceived idea in our mind by seeing that fundamental is something maybe one billion years ago fundamental or maybe one million years ago that must be my fundamental state. But the true nature of fundamental is every moment is a fundamental life.

[89:27]

Fundamental moment is a fundamental presence. And when a person finds oneself within that moment, that presence, then their mind does not become distracted by the manifestation of the duality. And to make it simply clear that duality means the expression of the presence. And when a person is able to see the deep liberation, the very deepening from the deeper part of the consciousness, deeper part of the mind, the moment it arises is like the painting of, art painting on a water. When we try to create an art painting on a water, when you try to make the body,

[90:28]

the head disappears. And when you try to make the legs, the body disappears. So it's all, it's self-liberating. No passion, no arising state, let it be curiosity, let it be anger, let it be anything, there does not have the strength or substantial potential to solidify the mind at that stage. That comes from the presence of the vipa. And when attaining the state of vipa, the entire potential of that solidify is absolutely and totally liberated at that stage. But still when come to that stage, one will see that moment there is an arising state, immediately, almost immediately, there is almost like attention,

[91:29]

and then is the attention, almost moment it arises, almost like you find that solidified. But when you really sit, and when you really watch your mind, when you sit and watch your mind, when you really be there, at that stage you start to see, because when you are sitting and when you are doing meditation, you are being absolutely open and having a panoramic view of your mind. When you are sitting, and if you are not open, and if you still use your own style of mind, bring up your conditions, and still entertain your condition, you will never see the open aspect of the mind. So while you are sitting, that is why we do meditation, so that it gives us the opportunity to understand our mind absolutely in and out. We are able to know how it is functioning.

[92:33]

So we know ourselves, in fact. The simple thing is we know ourselves. And knowing oneself is called the enlightened state. And it's not that we know ourselves, or we may say that, Oh, I know myself, who I am. I am such and such person. We have a name, and I even have a social security number, who I am. But that doesn't mean that we know ourselves. We do not know ourselves because what we really wish deeply within is a happiness. And that happiness is not coming into our life. There is something different always, a different kind of energy always experienced by us instead of being experienced what we really wish for. And now where is that gap, that misunderstanding, or that mistake, where is that happening? Now that is the point one finds out in meditation. And that gap you find

[93:36]

that you have a nature there which is very criticizing, which is very conditioned. It has its own logic. It has its entire department of functioning. And that department tells you where you use this kind of concept, how you deal with that kind of person, and with this kind of society. So never it really sees its inner nature. That's why we call meditation is to see the inner nature of our mind. We have not penetrated depth enough so that we have come to see the inner nature of our mind. So that we have come to see the inner nature of our mind. We have come to see the inner nature of our mind.

[94:14]

@Text_v004
@Score_JJ