this morning. And last night I tried wearing slippers in the Zen-do. I'm doing it in Kenya. I planned to do it actually last October, but I never went shopping. I finally went shopping. I had to find some sandals, too, because my sandals' water was coming through the bottom. It's hard. I guess I don't know how to get someone to buy sandals for me, so I had to look. And it's the first time I've walked around in San Francisco since the late 60s, since some time before I went to Japan. I'd never seen bark before, or anything. There's a big hole in the street down there by the Powell Market. They dug this big hole. It felt funny. I live in the city. I never see anything of it. Anyway, slippers turned out to be quite expensive. More expensive or as expensive as shoes. But I found pretty cheap pair.

[01:26]

Because I want to try it out for, you know, our sake, during cold weather and walking outside, before kinhin. However, I myself prefer to be barefoot, but it's not cold now, so it's rather a nuisance to wear them. But I think in the cold weather, for serving, so you might like it. So I want to find something we can all afford, and which are pretty much all the same. In Japan, you always wear slippers. No one goes barefoot in Zendo or Kini. We're the only barefoot Buddhists, at least in the northern countries, maybe in the southern countries. I was talking

[02:56]

before I left, about our non-local cousins, and maybe it became a little complicated. But I think we need to have, as I've said, some readiness for birds to swim and fish to fly. And as Karin said yesterday, even Abhidharma is about that resolution below which we usually, apart from which we usually identify ourselves in such minute minute moments of awareness that can be our awareness. And atom by atom samadhi carries us one step further to n-dimensional, multi-dimensional points of view, the samadhi of everything, samadhi of each thing, each drop,

[04:30]

Maybe a drop is like dripping rain. It's the maximum amount which will support itself. But in Zen, we're not looking like in astrology. for understanding the laws of the universe, to understand ourselves. Zen is much more like alchemy or alchemistry. To understand yourself, you understand everything else. But an idea which I don't think we all quite get is the degree to which practice is a distillation or fermentation. If you understand that, you understand non-correction. Don't correct yourself. Of course, we correct ourselves. Our passions or desires or wandering thoughts, we correct. Or even our taste for ecstasy or blissfulness. Or illumination, we correct.

[06:10]

But fundamentally, we don't correct and we don't make an effort because this process is a kind of distillation, fermentation. I found out recently that bourbon is an American whisky made from more than 51% of corn. But flavor comes from the oak barrels. They put the nearly, I guess, virtually tasteless alcohol into oak, a certain kind of oak barrel, and after a while, it tastes like bourbon. That's what this zendo is. Barreled. It's a barrel for fermenting ourselves. And unless you understand this point, you won't get practice. You won't get it. Candle. The wax knows nothing of the flame. Everything is there, but until it's lit, the wax doesn't know the flame. The mash of grain doesn't know alcohol.

[07:38]

when we compost something and it spontaneously combusts. Until that combustion occurs, it's just, you know, garbage. So as Anne brought up yesterday, the question, like Dogon, if we are already enlightened, why should we practice? But that practice is not a matter of will, of effort, of pushing in your heart. It's a matter of bringing all the ingredients together through abhidharma, study, or awareness, or mindfulness, and willingness rather than will, as I always say. But all religion,

[08:41]

The idea of God is the relationship of macrocosm and microcosm. All religion aims at, strikes at, the essential which unites everything. Glass is obtained by sand and fire. So we need this kind of distillation process. I think the first step is to find out your own order, the order you already have. And there are so many problems in finding out just even that much, to notice that much. We so don't want to disturb our fantasy life. And I don't think we comprehend how necessary our fantasy life is, how the uninterrupted flow of it is necessary or we get quite disturbed. But if you

[10:07]

You can't cut through, break through body and mind, break through your fantasy life. Fermentation and distillation don't begin. And the degree also to which we are involved in credit and blame. You know, very seldom do you hear somebody, some painter say, crediting his gallery for his success. But you often hear painters blaming their gallery for their lack of success. You don't usually hear writers saying, I owe it all to my publisher. But you often hear writers blaming their publisher, blaming some problem or the times.

[11:10]

It may be so that its publisher is too commercial or something. But seldom, still, do we credit others with our success, but we certainly often hear people blaming others. And we see it even here in this community, of course. Someone who everyone likes and trusts is given a position of authority and suddenly many people don't trust them or like them. And usually a pretty big ingredient is that, is our fear of success and blame, placing blame on authority. We put to thought someone who has a position. We must raise them up to make an excuse for our not having the position. So we expect more of them, and then we begin putting them down. Poor fellow, with the position. You know, that kind of psychology crimps us.

[12:27]

to expect something unrealistic in order to justify our not having it, or justify our being in what we see as lower position. So we genuinely expect more, but it works better if you feel gratitude for it. their willingness to take the position, then you can begin to understand the person as just a person with their own limits. One practice in Buddhism is when you breathe in, you feel like you are breathing in all the faults and sufferings of everybody. willingly doing it, receiving it, right? Willingly receiving it. And when you breathe out, you breathe out all the merit, all the virtues you could want for anything. And anything you'd like to see yourself do, you welcome someone else doing. And if you're concerned about someone else's faults,

[13:57]

First, try to cure yourself of any trace of the same fault. If you want them to cure themselves, please make that effort to cure yourself. Least trace. So to do this practice, you must see that the practice and the goal, or the way and the accomplishment, are the same. And form and emptiness are the same, not to be some excuse to wipe out faults or virtues, but to really understand form and emptiness. passions and freedom from passions. The cure and what's cured are same. But just to become aware and to bring it together and then be willing to stay in place. You know, just alcohol wouldn't become bourbon without staying in the cake for quite a long time.

[15:21]

So first you see form of your life, and you must get rid of your petty thoughts. And we're talking also about ordination. Quite a few people want to have lay ordination and priest-ordination, Blanches here to sew it up, sew everyone up. Till tomorrow. And perhaps we'll have ordination ceremony next interim, in a few days, next September. And you may feel, you know, well, ordination ceremony is, what is the purpose? It's just some ceremony. But, you bring ingredients together. Sewing, cloth, your intention, teacher, student, your friends,

[16:53]

And you, like a kind of alchemical experiment, you bring it all together in the very material way. And maybe in the ceremony, before or after or during, some fusion or distillation occurs. And that ceremony represents I don't know, wider or deeper or level, more inclusive. That process of fermentation and then distillation. So in practice we should always have a sense of that. And at each moment, maybe we can call it impatience,

[17:57]

But each moment we are allowing the situation to distill itself. You can't take credit for being a Buddhist. It's your teacher. And your teacher can't take credit. It's bringing all the circumstances together. So first again we find order of our life, old order of our life. We give the order we have already and we try to sort it out. And then we find new order. We change order around a bit to make it more what we like or more concentrated. But to take on new order is like to stay here, to change your way of life. Not, you know, changing it just for now and kind of waiting till it's over with and you snap back like a stretched rubber band into your old life that you want.

[19:26]

Nor the opposite. Waiting for some thinking in the back of your mind, there's some better teaching than this. I'm waiting for some higher teaching than Mahayana Buddhism or Zen Buddhism. You've got to actually be in that barrel. You can't be thinking outside it or ahead of it. So like wax that doesn't know, wax and string don't know candle, fire of candle. So if you just say, well, I'm this kind of person and I have that, such and such and such and such, this practice may make you feel better, but you can't know the flame.

[20:45]

or jewel, or mirror, or distillation, or lipid drop. The main way to do this alchemical process is to bring together your mind and breath until it reflects it. It's completely available to you. You all have a mind, and you all have your breath, just ordinary old air, which becomes your breath. But that ordinary old air, combined with your mind, your attention, your awareness, is magical process. We can sit, you know, one idea of nature is, That which we see, which we don't, doesn't have anything to do with us. Do not comb your hair to let it be natural. I didn't mean to do it. And sometimes we want to let our gardener return to natives. But we are also always participants.

[22:18]

So we might say, as Rosenstock Pussy points out, there is light. It's some natural statement. But for a Christian perhaps, let there be light. We can't say that in nature. Let there be light. But we can say Buddhism is Buddhism assumes everything is complete except for the decision to be complete. Intention may make a candle, but intention won't light the candle. So you need this intention to be complete, but then you need prasugyo, or processing, fermentation. It begins to steam and eventually to distill. And you can feel it, ordinary old air and ordinary old pedestrian attention. This is one reason sexuality is such a problem for practice.

[23:52]

because sexuality is a sort of material alchemist. It also is distillation, deep refinement. Air becomes your blood and your thoughts, and your body and another's body become a new person. So this can be pretty confusing. I'm very mixed up. Somebody objected or had some reservations about my saying and introduction to Timeless Spring, Buddha, our pin-up that won't let us down. They said, well, that's just some picture of the opposite sex. But that kind of anima, that kind of feeling, is not so far from religion. You know, Ezra Pound said, O moon, my pinup. Actually, I have a footnote, an introduction. Ezra Pound, O moon, my pinup.

[25:16]

But certainly, that ideal man or woman that has not much to do with our spouse, but does have to do with the flow of fantasy and search for some unity. You know, it is very helpful, actually, if we interrupt that. See, it can be interrupted at least. for unity that comes from this own transformation. So our practice should always have a sense when you do anything. Bow, walk, chant. There's activity, same time there's the stillness of distillation. So I think sometimes distracting thoughts of sexuality, which aren't related to actually some relationship with someone, are a way of distracting us from this unity which we call Buddha. Instead of having a baby, you have a Buddha. A unisex.

[27:01]

all by yourself, with everyone. We give this to baby Buddha. I always want to say good luck. But non-effort and non-correction and distillation of mind and breath Don't worry yourself to death whether wax is bumpy or has some imperfection. Just light it. Don't worry about making perfect wax. Just light the wax. And wax can't light itself.

[28:05]

must wait for conditions like composting. It lights itself, but not by effort. So our process, you know, is very much like this. You know, whiskey means life water. Water of life. Not ordinary water. And our practice, you know, is without whiskey, even without mantra.

[29:12]

without any program. So to just sit, we may use many kinds of antidotes. Koan or mantra, that's true. Breathing, counting your breaths. But real activity is just sit. This is Mahamudra or Zen. to find out how to let everything deeply, profoundly take care of itself. And it's pretty difficult to know it, as I said. For wax to know the flame, it's quite difficult. So, to trust the teaching, to trust this barrel. to trust distillation process of Zen practice. To take ordinary air and your ordinary mind and finally bring them together on each breath, on each moment. Day and night in your dreams,

[30:38]

in your activity, in your zazen sitting, where it's like laboratory. Every period of zazen, as Karin said, is a chance again to do this alchemical transformation of bringing breath and... So that's pretty simple. Not to do, maybe, but pretty simple. my brain without correcting yourself all the time, without making some mental effort. Just bring the ingredients together. Stay with your breath and mind. Don't

[32:01]

Criticize others. Just breathe in everyone's self and breathe out all the virtues you'd wish others had. Giving credit freely to everyone, to anything you want to do. This is alchemical processing. transforming everything. Christianity is more emphasis on, even though it's super mundane, it's very much historical religion, Christ was historical figure. It came at a certain point in history, and after that there's progress and paradise and salvation.

[33:04]

But Buddha didn't come at any particular point in history, like that. It's up to each of you to transform history by your own transformation. Not transformation, maybe a clarification. Distillation is the best word for today. Time for a Buddhist is just maybe some tribal or national thing. You can measure it from the beginning of a country. If Buddha had any absolute view, it was earth itself which he has to testify. In many countries, you know, China and Europe, when a baby is born, they take the baby out immediately and put it on the earth, and then, father, drink it up again.

[34:21]

Because baby is born from the earth, so mother is identified with birth. And in China they take baby and do that, and they also take a dying person and put the dying person on the earth, for birth is the threshold of life. There's an ancient identification of the people and the soil and the place and the society, the law of the land. So in our practice, if this staying in one place is carried to peak, to just be, to just sit,

[35:42]

to distill lime and butter. So in practice, you have to give up trying to control it or doing it yourself. As I said, like wax, you can't know the flame by itself, wax and string. So from the point of view of your wax, it's pretty difficult to know. The distillation that Buddhism is talking about,

[36:53]

And to find it out, you must be willing to ferment yourself for quite a while. This is a point of coordination, too. Some of you are... You know, I should ordain someone who understands this distillation. But also I should ordain someone who is ready at least to be fermented, to tie this rope around like a whiskey barrel and sit like a rock. So often we're always trying to adjust this and that and all our body and so forth. It may be necessary, but I think everything will be taken care of if you could just sit still through and through like a rock. Otherwise you won't find out the worth of a baby pool.

[38:23]

Thank you.

[38:32]

@Text_v004
@Score_JJ