Karma and Family Place

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SF-02689A
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well at is very nice to pay off together and there's considerable number of new faces here
ha
is it the first time for anybody during a one day sitting at the purpose and center
yeah first time doing a one day sitting period
now my snacks and song it's today i saw a allies thirsts why have the nice things about having a women sitting is that it's just a different constellation and so people get to do
different jobs often for the first time so we have a first time session director live and the first time bell ringer and a first time cookie on the amateur be set up a compared to a number to i'm sorry now anyway a first time clock i think
ah a first time i had server
t-shirt
the
a of lots of first
and one fair said you know it's at song it's a variation on the farm
the time it's a delight of thing and are women is that we can take it with some merriment
so on
i wanted to talk today about a
a case in the transmission of right and isn't specifically a topic about women and yet when i read it it came to me in a very close sort of intimate way and so around to talk about it and
to talk about a week you and i'm sure that because when are women
we will talk about it in that way

the transmission of fly
we are the transmission stories that go from buddha to ah
one teacher beyond dog and
i think to fifty one stories and they've been translated for some time by thomas cleary and they have recently been re translated by lex hixon
and they're quite different translations so that's nice but clearly translation six more to the old stories ah and the form of the old stories and lex hixon is just irrepressibly devotional and
she keeps returning to the transmission to the light
aspect of the transmission and his book is called living buddha the sam
so
i've read the curry at least twice and now i'm reading a hickson for the first time and it's it's it's great to put them together there's so many sides to this teaching
and the a particular case is for me about how we find our finite plays in this infinite world
and ah it's why i've actually were negotiating today in zazen that's what zaza and this about how we find the our place and this ever shifting ah brass to breath period of defra
ain't conditions
how refined our place rather it's a place is comfortable or uncomfortable how refined our position in it
so
this is a story about transmission of than roger rafa we say these names in the morning kind of die by dire show wrapped around a dire shown some of the an anti show
i'm not a reason i like these transmission stories is the time
the devotional a couple of people recently have said to me zambia so cool
and i think i used to say that tube well these are books about hot them
you know the story of transmission of how the teaching is past
of how the heart's desire is discovered and transmitted there's a very passionate story
and ah that comes through than these stories
so
there's so many different ways of transmission there is our lineage which is these men who transmitted the light from one to another
in past centuries and i remember one of the first women sitting here
the speaker
suddenly my goals i think she may have been
well somewhere i remember
chanting her own personal remedy
several other women
he realized that we just
that comes down and i'm teaching as the only
so we all have our personal
a man who are the lineage that just is happening
horizontal lineage delineation that transmission that's just coming
whatever is happening in the moment
so all those different kinds of transmissions
yeah so i'm going to read this little story about raw data
and rada rada was from couple of asked to
as for the past cause after kind of guy that had been liberated canada is the teacher that rather writer is going to get his transmission from as for the past cause after kind of guy that had been liberated and was traveling around teaching he came to capitol bastien there is a rich man
man named obama should i bruna and whose guiding offenders grew and a tree one day offenders like a mushroom with an extended refined closer
i know the elder and a second son back of partook of it after they aged it when grew and when it was gone it sprouted again yet the other members of the family could not see it
and at that time kind of guy but we're the past cause of this phenomena and he went to bat house the andor asked him the reason and canada said in your house once in the past uk offerings to a month and that months perception of the ray was not yet clear because he was receiving alms in
vain he became a true fungus to repay since only your simon will provide offerings were pure sincerity you have been able to partake of it not so the others
when i may be a little obscure
imagine a that time we are in our family gardens
and each one of us has a particular place in our family in the world and a particular reason for being here
particular path
and
because of that unique situation that each of us as in
make connections
make connections with something like say a fungus
a certain thing for certain constellations of things is booming for to us
and we have a particular a taste for the dharma and we eat it
and ah are awarded this is perhaps after
we've moved somewhat under right path after we realized that we are not just little isolated units but part of a whole dimas system
ah but we're not separate from the world and this realization that were not separate
takes particular shapes and forms and in this case it's a fungus a true mushroom and so only the people who the son of the father and the sun ra dorado who's about to get the transmission a see this for
angus and eat it and it's invisible to everybody else
and they take pleasure in it and enjoy it
and then the teacher comes our teacher comes
and
since the situation from a rider ankle
and notices something about our dharma appetite and appreciate it
and says oh you eat this fungus and nobody else sees it and the reason this fungus is there is that and past causes and conditions the rules a monk
there was another person who was making them offering and it was not quite a complete offering there was some residue
and you are making a particular contact with that offering residue
and when this was pointed out rada rada that the cycle became enlightened or came into the line of transmission he understood something larger about what his place was
he understood in a deeper way the meaning of what his life was about and the connection that his fight had was passed
lives and the efforts of others
so it's a story that we are ah rooting out on the time now as we come to a sit here on where i was hoping that
the whole story will be clarified and that somebody will come and say ah yes here you are and this is what you're doing
ah and
we have to listen
does that happen does it happen when does it happen

so i'd like to read a
now part of the chapter that less hickson writes about this stern
and
and it sort of about what the fungus is about
no on one hand if you make an incomplete offering
ah if we set our intention to doing something well
so too
similar period of says and well
ah are doing something for somebody else well
and we resolve we're just gonna do our best but going to try our best and the outcome is
but sort of mixed
usually
ah because who knows who knows what sitting a period of says and well is and who knows really what during something for somebody else well is ah
the some kind of of we have our aspiration and we have what happens and that what happens may have whatever effect it has been world so i was max came to the garden and offered arms but maybe they were hoping that something would
come of their offering
are there there's some impurity in it
so the monk became a mushroom
so
a comma
is some sort of what sticks to us but doesn't quite go away but we're always working with
year after year maybe lifetime after lifetime but sticks us so we have to come back to it again and again
i you certainly get this in san
you know in the issue of comfort and discomfort
ah that were used to not liking discomfort and so when you sit in a long bay like this was bound to be some discomfort and ah it's the place of a day that we've put ourselves in so are
going to do with the discomfort
how are we going to find our place
and keep in it in some balanced way through the discomfort
putting attention on the posture and breath
and not dwelling so much on what's comfortable and once uncomfortable
or going into the discomfort
but really is it if i moved my on to scratch my ear is that really going to make a difference
i kind of exploration
so the circumstances and in our lives have brought us to this day to this moment and what we do with it
and with a degree a revamped get unstuck
the some kind of ah
for com
have you have to repeat repeat and repeat and often we get a sort of stuck almost dead mushroom like feeling from being stuck
and on the other hand the something also sweet about our com
generations ago this wandering monk received arms for the family ancestors in this fairy garden the monk had not yet attained awakening and so received the arms is that they actually belong to him
neither a drop of rather not a blade of read nor a grain of rice belongs to anyone but only the mother pam mother wisdom the infinite room a brilliant blackness
after becoming a genuine bodhisattva inseparable draining wisdom and compassion and inviting all beings to awaken into non-duality the wandering monk as a gesture of gratitude to his early benefactors mentally manifested this peculiar fungus it's distinct air shape is connor
oakley design
canada and i would now reveals is a message to the boy roberta listen listened carefully to the roads of living buddha who is destined to visit you here
far fetched as it appears to conventional thinking our role is an is entirely composed of such subtle comic signs comic events and links karmic at attractions and confirmations clearly recognizable by awakened purse
guns and most unnoticed by others the sound of a car starting up in the early morning when the engine cold
a dog barking and the predawn darkness a cat walking unexpectedly into the zonda during quiet meditation and leaping to a high window sill a local convent gradually end to the sisters after seventy years obsessed with bhutto becomes available as a sanctuary for our religion
and for persons dying of incurable illness
the mysterious fungus and maybe out his family garden happens to be delicious
the boy somehow discovered this and has been amazed to observe the portions that he eats grow back again
we are inexorably inexorably attracted to the taste of our karma weather bitter or sweet but it can never be consumed without playing out it's drama without delivering its message
this fungus points out master kazan remains invisible to the other members of the extended family except for the boy's father not everyone can see the karma that plainly unfolds before our eyes

so the sensing the bow
this taste of com which we come back to bitter or sweet
ah
the season that we returned to breath after breath whether bitter or sweet long days said
so where all means figuring out what our position is
moment to moment and what is our position in this life story
and were put down somehow will drop down into whatever families we've been dropped down to as babies
and
the families may fit or not fit
but that's our position they bring us but we're going to work on
and
that's women
historically we have been asked to make do with work our particular situation is
well as man has been by enlarge more likely to go out and be
in the world to be ancestors in the lineage while the women are at home quiet
and so we have both sides of this story
i'm the one he act side and what we do with it quiet side
ha
so i'd like to have a discussion and embrace
a personal story
ah about my ah karma with my mother
and how ah
ah that's been one of the
wheels turning in my own life
somebody recently said that on
there are two kinds of relationships when you have within the category of lifelong family or lifelong relationships
does this one kind that's based on affinity and there's another kind that's based on survival
and my relationship with my mother i think was a survival relationship we never have a bad times together but nor did we understand each other
as she says she doesn't have a religious bone in her body and down however she's always give me encouragement and whatever i do
and ah
well there's a amongst of my life has been a continent between us and that's suited the relationship pretty well
and five years ago when her partner died
our karma manifested in such a way that she came clovers me
and ah instead of roofing a continent away she lived across the hall
and so this mysterious fungus on really had to begin to investigate
but what this roz
ah
and i thought i was in my life had a lot of foul play between wanting to be independent and being in a very committed social situation
so i just looked forward to having left my children having gone and my husband having gone
it was an adjustment
and she has my experience of her is that she's been very intrusive and as she gets older
kind of fascist ninety two there's a kind of distillation and down the qualities that were always there are a heightened
the so she's more outrageous
man down she comes she sneaks into my room to see if i'm there and she comes into everybody's wrong them empty their wastebaskets and goes through it and so on and so on
about it has the some a kind of quintessential quality about it so this is a funny aspect and it's not as on as overwhelming
ah but still it's bear
day after day it's there
and
song but is this bad has been close to me out of my life
inside and outside what is this that i keep returning to
and for the last few months
and should get depressed and then right herself but there was a fair amount of depression it's not easy being a very old lady
she says when every morning when she wakes up she wonders if this is gonna be the last day
and each time there's a fly on the wow she spots a dead and hopes that her death would be as quick she with this sense are a sharp edge and she listens to her music and
rogers tv
a place contests and so i co-sign every check to watch the money and after i co-sign the checked she corrects my signature
the relationship so
a few months ago she was really quite depressed she needed stockings and new pair of stockings just the kind that come up here because she rose a girdle and so i went out and i bought four pairs of stockings and she was
or for round when i bought them pattern with as higher she said this i just started one pair i don't want to live to wear four pairs
and she was very
upset about this and i hadn't put this together but at that moment i went off to a reunion of our of a group of women who went to japan together for him for years ago or something and one of the mothers in our group had died and mary i we were meeting it
at page street in blanches rooms and mary organized a service for the woman whose mother had died and then she also organized or well being service for my mother because of the pack and right i'm so shaken by this
and actually since then i remember has been very perky
the and i have to say that she has this incredible spirit of gratitude and appreciation
and that is there just about every day now she comes down to the kitchen in the morning and she's shaking and car and disoriented and then she has her breakfast and little by little she warms up in my mid money there's this wonderful spirit at work
so i have to realize that on
i was fortunate with this difficult karma i was fortunate that to have her returned to my life in this very close way in a way that i never would have chosen and to be able to really come home and the sense of being able for the first time in my life too
love her
puts out ali obstructions and difficulties he can though they continued to some degree
so i like the cows by and by reading
the closing time that lex hixon gifts
to his little diamond story
cat entries zen hall
every step careful karma karma karma countless more threads fuse in my fingertips universal i opens

i didn't get a grip on the schedule when when we supposed to end
i'll let you know if i get
the ten past eleven so maybe we can have questions responses
hey maybe just nitpicking but it seems not so to be a
and it's really interesting hearing you saying what happened after that ceremony because it wasn't his usual like a well-being ceremony that we do here we specifically we chatted the show sign me out kitschy judge irani for removing hindrance that's right and it was didn't have much she was saying that she wanted to die
and as i recall it with some sort of well it's as this where she isn't what she wants let's hope that her path isn't easy for her strategy for you as far as that families and you're definitely right that's the spirit i felt that she was trying to die and that was the spirit that was in yes and i think hindrance this will remove
moved
the
i'm a little side comment which is altering your discussion of tree augustus as a tree fungus out on tree anybody wants to see one of country that crap been removed and it looks like it's growing f
and i don't know who ate it
the
like
i have two comments and questions the first question is
why is it
he talked in our society about the miserable they are being at peace and it seems almost contradictory that to be miserable or to experience suffering sometimes
it's seems to in my life necessary to
a necessary ingredients for further growth or awareness

well that's how i liked the story with the fungus in it the tree fungus which is at once is
a fungus and a product of somebody's in perfect effort
and then the other hand is a cause for
i welcome it
and the other commenters that i too experienced a mother who constantly them
what to do in my young fifties she told he hadn't prepared than the hudson not to catch colds and things like that and
i realize though earlier
what difficulty she went through in racing a children and i was having challenges to and ah
so she did become my friend
and it was interesting that she died at ninety seven
but until ninety six he was
just a shy person and just a very great scholars she said
just a bit cheerful
but waiting
the waiting for the nice that she was ready at three four years dispersion and from
very nice place to become to go to at that point when one is very at peace isn't
yeah
yeah
i was so interested in the effort because it seems to me at all
the way history was written you find that only one
everything that was one of the some luxury
and i think the forests he just tells me
the right right
yeah yeah well in the midst of them and in each other sponsors
kind of collection a clashing and and dog is a mixing and working themselves out yeah yeah yeah we're given each other problems and in the holding them are releasing them
yeah
melody
when we hear about your thoughts on that the karma a mother in law be a christian is carta is to keep birth and
try it
click here
i think about a liar business since i started his pitches in these newspaper last week of these big gas clouds states
where stars are being intubated started being born
and i thought that is or accountants a most of the universities of given birth to science sq and that but some of it as you know him
some damn good grip that games it just seems like
history like me
hmm
yeah yeah
well i guess all of us with children can tell different can go through different experiences south
that is
i think the for me the the the aspect it's most precious as keeping the mystery part of it
rather than media i need to tell you what to do her part of it

i was reading a story a book
the about healing and started by a woman whose other is given a terminal diagnosis
was in the hospital in and a woman telling the story belief that her mother would not live as christmas but she was talking to him mother about how she would like to give her something and i've forgotten now what it was christmas and you're looking at a magazine or something in the mother turned the back
and said no this is what i would really like and she pointed to this beautiful spring hearse
and her mother had always been an incredibly frugal person and so the woman time stroke
but the understand why from other would want to buy curse that she would never live long enough to use but the woman
when out and bought her mother curse and her mother was delighted and from under got better and her mother left the hospital and her mother lived for years and years after and the woman interpreted the story as by giving her mother curse she was giving her mother permission
in to defy the doctors terminal illness and perhaps by giving your mother for parents with stockings
the say i don't need you to leave right her
maybe that's what for your know
the now it's huge and mysterious
they say will start she couldn't touch them they sat in the bureau dressed as she looked at them fought for about a week until i took pity on them and took three away
but who knows but you're not using soon about
families is that we are i so enormously important to one another even if we don't get alarmed rail and amount of our are that this snood valence
that a small act by that the carries such wait
because of a relationship
i have to tell the story because i can't let go every since you started you so a friend of ours smother is eighty three and she this with
well lives can work that way because some of us know the way her mother is a
all the end she every cat we've seen her she's
said i'm just tired i just want to die but i am truly healthy to die
and it's difficult because her english is very limited in almost all of people who she could speak finnish with accept trigger letter have moved away your died
and then she got very sick and went to the hospital just seventeen and try to some background is this is always complained that her mother raised you to think that anything to do with office with sex was absolutely feel you know just unbearable
and lose his mother came back from the hospital
say to her car they went out shopping to be a p some cases market
this is mother came up
so the factory
why
so many beautiful young man i can't get any of the
it just seems to have some of the so now and get something to talk about every time she could ros as and i'll just say you can the don't touch
and she just laughs and it's very
it just the whole wrong it seems like reaches infinite numbers why bother with so interested snow and eighty three you know would raise a daughter
trying to convince events
tricky
the

seems like there's another prime minister to as you're talking and thinking about what your mom knows since about you that might be different all the time it's easy for us for moms drive us crazy as they get older to think about and mustard
tvp noticing something about humans do
more precious her hands also present difficulties in know i'm saying
yeah i feel as if under roof guy a very good communication going under the surface
under the surface even if we scrap about something like this a real understanding and i are spirits are matched in some way
yes salsa something interesting
that i'm noticing is a as my mother is ag
but the relationships of the siblings and
i have a sister who were continents apart but yeah because we're both attached and from this particular mother as she's aging i'm looking forward to and my brother tooth were all very separate but i'm looking for
it to how this family now after all piece adult years is gonna come together
to reconstitute these kinds of family relationships in from to do what i i know we'll all do in terms of the right thing of somehow collective the caring for her and her s the time approaches and then
in of the mother coming back but also the this siblings coming back to read work whatever it is that we try and get to see that's right that got started the stillness stone was not an atheist yeah
but the the aging in the death of the parent prints that yeah to kevin to yeah that's them piece of it yeah does you have any siblings but for she's essentially forgotten my sister who lives in england yeah yeah but that's better
it's true
yeah
channel
no i one
i just hadn't been more critical about what was i saw
as you possibly there
how's can to my moments pass that are some and are going to try to accept you as you are alive
me and i went well
and
you guys i get older men had my religion my mother gets warmer and deeper
i can see how much i like her i mean i'm i'm going to look more like her and i have many of qualities and characteristics and there things about it that are really like like for her i like about g and encourage them to fill the last for and it's certainly was not the case
i wanted to is different from my mother's can prosecute the a that there's this
this growing feeling health
the legacy of that
the lineage so they get from with her pets and great way for from having some experience with she's still
huh
yeah and it's true we're like our money
if it's always good question actually if you have any insight the i know there were stories by ear and your sister playing at in the attic or something be making all but both of you now
have
a religious life your sister's address
yeah why why didn't repair and this this comic this some kind of the restaurants i've always had a very strong sense of that my younger sister is so went into an anglican benedictine contemplative and closed convent just before she was twenty one and
and is has been there for more than thirty years and is now apis there on and my parents were not interested in religion
and she was to play alter when she was five
so distressed i just really found was this sense of of saddam a some comic thread doing worked out

and as i think stephen for me i think that we all do gradually have a sense of blogs working out i remember when i was a lot younger somebody said to me when people get older they get less interested in the personal drama and more interested in pattern
and i thought soon that sounds good
and i think it's true that were there gradually become more and more interested in a pattern and down
no thanks to say
i can't resist or river very junior with your mother group of people outside then use that parses gene or something anyway
someone asked her about that how she wound up with these two kids for sarah the average he said i
the

will the pattern i've been noticing is that somehow
the most interesting thing seems to be what was lacking
for example i'm very interested in friendships and my other had no friends grow from she didn't know how to do it parents are very interested and another friend of mine
have mothers always lied to her and they always swept it under the rug and she never called her mother on the it's so now that she's the seven she's here slate interest in honesty and village
say what she said
so i did
there's probably not it's not a coincidence
come home
what will make of what is missing
yeah
yeah
and sometimes in size and instruction that said that in day to day life were interested in the events and what we're thinking and in zazen to pay more attention to the spaces and the gaps
there was something from as for my personal experience that
the somebody just kind of respect between generations that if you're reacting to what happened before that and so are looking back and is are very little bits of that nine older aunts and uncles and grandparents were from his face because our economic future or complicated sort of like generations back and then appearance
were reacting to what they didn't have with some in a way were acting
the pattern of our great grandparents sometimes
it's a really a lineage
just look at your mom when i see one the kitchen
two three four by them
becomes more and more complicated

the