This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Good morning. Welcome to Green Girls. Even though the INU assures me that you know who I am, I thought I would say that my name is Fu, Fu Schrader, I lived here for many years, many decades. It's a very familiar old barn, and I've been at Zen Center for even more decades, so it's so nice to be back. I now live at Zen Center's retirement home up in Sonoma County, a very beautiful place called Enso Village, which I hope you all may come and retire to. It would be lovely to have all of you as company up there. It's a wonderful place. I'm still kind of driving on the freeway.

[01:01]

It's going to take me a little while to settle in to this quiet place with all of you. So I recently signed up for an online group called Quotes from His Holiness, the Dalai Lama. And I was reading through the different offerings there, most of them attributed to the Buddha. The one I want to offer to you this morning is this one. The way is not in the sky. the way is in the heart the way is not in the sky the way is in the heart so I want to begin this morning by asking you to just take a few moments to consider what's in your heart right now what are you feeling how is it for you right now in your heart mind can't really hear it but I can feel it I can feel what's in my heart mind and as with many people I live with now a lot of what's there is fear and anger the fear is about the future and the anger is about feeling that maybe there's not much we can do about the future

[02:42]

So some of the fear is political. I think you all know there's an election coming up very soon. And some of it is environmental, you know, climate change. We've seen a lot of that. Destructive force of what has been done to this planet is being done. And of course, some of it is the fear of dying. Maybe all of it is the fear of dying. So it seems very important to me and my own effort to practice the Dharma with my own feelings of fear and anger, that I more deeply come to understand what the Buddha had to say about feelings, how those feelings distort my thinking, and then in turn distort my ability to take action in the world. So how do we approach an understanding of these feelings that profoundly shape our lives? So I imagine most of you have heard the quote by our Japanese Zen founding ancestor, Dogen Zenji, that to study the Buddha way is to study the self.

[03:54]

And I think this is much the same guidance that's being given to us, that was shared to us by the Dalai Lama. The way is not in the sky, the way is in the heart. In other words, the way is not outside of ourselves. It's not at some distance. The way is in understanding ourselves and especially in understanding our feelings. So the most basic description the Buddha gave for the self that we are being asked to study is a set of five aggregates or clusters or heaps, however you like it, a swarm. And those swarms, the Buddha called the five skandhas. The five skandhas. So first I'm going to name and then describe the skandhas and then tell you how they work together in creating what we call our life. So I like using the image of a boat for the five skandhas.

[04:57]

In fact, that's the illustration that any of you have seen, the Wheel of Birth and Death. Oftentimes the Tibetans have these wonderful tonkas and one of the illustrations that's very popular is of the Wheel of Birth and Death. It kind of explains the whole thing if you know how to read it. But for the little bit of the wheel, the link of the wheel that is the five skandhas, the image is of a boat on the open ocean under a clear blue sky. So it's very handy to have this little boat right here, a little boat of five skandhas. So this skanda, the boat, is called the skanda of form or the body. So we each have a body. And then inside the boat are these three passengers. Feelings, perceptions or concepts about what's going on, ideas about what's going on, and impulses to take action with what's going on. And then the whole sky and the water and all of that, the vastness, is consciousness.

[06:03]

That's the fifth skanda. So form, feeling, perception, impulse to take action, and consciousness. Okay? That's the self. the Buddha said is yourself not some singularity as we often say I'm just as me as mine nothing like that much more complicated as I think you into it so once again the five skandhas making up what we call ourself our form feeling perception impulse and consciousness So these five aggregates that give rise to a sense of our being a singularity are in truth giving rise to a fantasy of a singularity. And if we look at that closely, we'll see that that fantasy is unsatisfactory and transient. Where's your breakfast you had this morning?

[07:07]

Where did it go? Where's my drive on the freeway? Where is walking into the room a moment ago? They're gone. Where's walking out of the room? Not here yet. So right in between there is our life. So understanding all of this, you know, even though it sounds fairly strange, it's very important for us in order to help ourselves, you know. Because it's the... Understanding of the truth of our existence that relieves our suffering. I think it was Jesus who once said, it's the truth that sets you free. It's the truth that sets you free. And that's why studying the skandhas, studying the self, and ultimately getting over our imagined self is so important to helping to free us from unnecessary pain, both toward ourselves and toward each other.

[08:11]

So the next question is, just what happens when our little boat sets out on the vast ocean of conscious awareness? Are you okay? Yeah? Okay. What did I say? What happens? Well, that's what happens. Something happens when our little boat sets out on the ocean of conscious awareness. just as it's doing right now. That's really well-timed, thank you. And just as it's doing throughout our entire life. So for this tiny unit of being that I call a self, it's quite often very scary out there on the open ocean. And yet, as my dear therapist said to me many, many years ago, ships are safe in the harbor, but that's not what they're built for. So with that familiar tinge of anxiety, off we go.

[09:17]

Out of the harbor and on to the vast waters of reality. According to Buddhist understanding, the three passengers in the boat set about finding a way to navigate safely in hopes of reaching a far distant shore. The shore of liberation sometimes thought of or called nirvana. meaning blown out or extinguished. It's kind of appealing at times, isn't it? And yet try as hard as they might, the shore remains an ever-distant speck on a vanishing horizon. And so they row harder. So for the Buddha sitting under the Bodhi tree and thoroughly watching the workings of his own body, his own feelings, his perceptions, impulses, and consciousness what he saw and later described was an action model an action figure a flow of continuous change and he saw how great an effort he had been making to get away from here seated under a tree in order to find his way over there to a land of perfect peace and once he realized that a big part of his suffering was that very effort

[10:41]

to get away from where he was, he changed his tactics, relaxed his body, and clearly observed the workings of his conscious mind. What he saw when he did that was a somewhat predictable and ongoing sequence of rapid change. The first step in the sequence was a physical sensation such as the senses have when they're The body's hit by sensory impressions like sounds and tastes and odors, textures, thoughts. These are all impressions that are made on our senses, on our body. Our body's very alert. So if the example is of a sound, for example, I'm going to use the sound of honking. So then he saw how his attention turned toward that sensation, toward that sound.

[11:44]

And the conscious mind goes, what's that? Before we have an idea, we have an impression, experience. What's that? And how his attention was then accompanied by a feeling. If the feeling is positive, then we humans move toward the object of our attention. The sound. If the feeling is negative, we move away. And if it's neutral, we don't quite know what to do. So once the feeling has connected to a sensation, we quickly come up with an idea, a concept, a story about what just happened. So one story is that that's the sound of a migrating goose. heading toward the southern hemisphere for the winter. Honk. It's a good story. And that story is somewhat positive, and it doesn't really disturb us.

[12:50]

In fact, we'd rather like that. Winter's coming. And on the other hand, if the story is that the car behind me on a one-lane road is honking at me, that might be very disturbing and lead me to a feeling of anger. and thoughts of revenge. Such as happens, this sequence in particular, happens to me quite often up here on Highway 1. So once the sequence has gone from a sensation in the body to a feeling to a perception, we are then ready to take action. So that's the fourth skanda. We're primed to act. The impulse to move... or to act, or to react. And once we have moved from simply feeling and thinking to action, then we are cooked. The action is called karma in Sanskrit. That's what the word karma means, action.

[13:51]

And depending on the type of action, it will lead us to an outcome that either goes well or to one that we may not like. So far, so good? Okay. So my anger at being tailgated has led me to say some very bad words and to make some very bad gestures. And sometimes I even slow down in hopes of making the driver behind me very angry. And so when I say that right now, that is what Buddhists call confession. I am confessing. I do this. And I confess that I have tried to make someone angry in order to hurt them. And does that work? Yes. It does.

[14:56]

They do get angry except then they want to hurt me. So now what I've done is make an enemy. Not so good. So I think you might all be familiar with the famous lines from the Dhammapada a set of verses from the 13th century attributed to the Buddha about this very way that our feelings and impulses impact the world around us. What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday. Our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow. Our life is a creation of our mind. If a person speaks or acts with an impure mind, suffering follows them. as the wheel of the cart follows the beast that draws the cart. What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow. Our life is a creation of our mind.

[15:58]

If a person speaks or acts with a pure mind, joy follows them as their own shadow. They insulted me. She hurt me. They defeated me. He robbed me. Those who think such thoughts will not be free from hate. They insulted me. She hurt me. They defeated me. He robbed me. Those who think not such thoughts will be free from hate. For hate is not conquered by hate. Hate is conquered by not hating. This is the eternal law. Many do not know that we are here in this world to live in harmony with one another. Those who know this do not fight against each other. The first time I heard these verses, I was stopped. They were so powerful and so true, and it's the truth that sets you free. Hate is conquered by not hating.

[17:01]

Our life is a creation of our mind. It's so easy to say and even to understand, but putting these truths into practice will take our entire lifetime. So there's another poem that we chant each week here at Zen Center called the Sandokai or the Harmony of Difference and Equality by 8th century Zen ancestor Sekito Gisen in Japanese. It's said to be Suzuki Roshi's very favorite Dharma poem. So the last line of the poem says, I respectfully urge you who study the mystery do not pass your days and nights in vain. This admonition, do not pass your days and nights in vain, or as it says on the Han out there in Cloud Hall, don't waste your life, has come up as a question for many of us during our years or days of Zen practice, or maybe long before that.

[18:03]

As we left home, we entered the marketplace, and we were offered opportunities to do a great many things, including practice the Buddha way. So whether you are joining in the practice period and will be leaving Green Gulch or staying on for a while, or you're here for the talk and will be going home, Sekito is telling us that practice is not a matter of far or near, but if you are confused, mountains and rivers block your way. Practice is not a matter of far or near, but if you are confused, mountains and rivers block your way. If you mistake your reactivity to sensations seemingly coming from outside of yourself, the way of practice through your heart has been blocked. So this verse is calling to us to understand what we mean by practicing with the heart, through the heart, and how we

[19:06]

Whatever we are doing with our life qualifies as an opportunity to practice the Buddha way. Usually when we do something with our lives, in particular after we left our parents' home, we have some idea of accomplishing something. I remember that. I had ideas about accomplishing something. Something that would be beneficial to me. You know, finish school, go see the world. find a career, maybe a partner, maybe some children or a dog, and so on. A very nice life. So I had an idea of not wasting my time. And yet when we have that same idea about enlightenment, when we set enlightenment up as an accomplishment or a goal, one that we can recognize and hopefully achieve, and that others will... recognized too.

[20:07]

Well, you look enlightened. Wouldn't that be nice? So that's the very confusion that blocks our way. And that's because when approaching our spiritual life in the same way that we approach what's called our worldly life, we naturally imagine that we are either very near to our goal or very far from it. And yet as the poem says, progress is not a matter of far or near. It's when you are confused that mountains and rivers block your way. So then comes the part of the Buddha's teaching that is meant to help us not be confused, that directs us away from the idea of accomplishment and onto the path of awakening. As Suzuki Roshi says in his comments on this verse, when you practice zazen without any thought of attainment, then you have actual enlightenment. In other words, just this is it. Anyone have a thought of attainment at the moment?

[21:10]

Atta girl. An honest woman. So in other words, we are already enlightened. Already happened. Nothing you can do about it. And that enlightenment and the path are one and the same when we are not confused about that. Getting even or becoming aggressive with the honking behind me is confused. Years ago, I was passed on the highway up there by a very fast-moving and expensive-looking car. It was late at night, and we were on a curve, and I had my daughter in the car, and I got furious. So I was making my gestures and saying those words, and my daughter said to me, Mom, maybe somebody's hurt and they have to get help in a hurry. So the most wholesome thing that happened at that moment in the car was my feeling of shame. I was guessing about the sensation that hit my body.

[22:17]

And based on that negative feeling, I made up a story and then reacted to that story with a lot of self-centered and righteous aggression. Familiar? I'm glad I'm not alone. So therefore, progress on the path is simply a matter of walking carefully, driving carefully, thinking carefully, slowing down, one foot after the other, taking care of ourselves and of the things and the people that we pass by as we go, and even those who pass us by. Just the kind of thing that enlightened people do with their days. When our effort and practice is to attain something, When our practice has become self-centered, we begin to think that practicing is one thing and enlightenment is another thing. Another thing that we can accomplish, possess, and show to others as if it's our own. Another idea we have of something we need and are determined to get, as though our self could be enlightened all by herself.

[23:27]

This kind of thinking is in the realm of differences. Things being different. The realm of relative truths. The realm of time and place and persons. As if before this is separate from after that. Here is separate from there. And you are separate from me. It sounds confusing. I know that. Because it is. It's confusing. We are confused. So that kind of thinking is the usual way that we humans think. And yet, to our good fortune, it's the usual way of thinking or confusion that brought us here to practice in the first place. We most likely came here because we wanted to get something for ourselves, something that we didn't know we already had. We wanted to be someone other than we already are,

[24:32]

and to take whatever we got here with us wherever we go. Reminding me of what our Master Carpenter Paul Disco said to us when we were new students here many, many years ago now. It's not what you're going to get from this practice. It's what you're going to lose. So I remember being both confused and disappointed when I heard that because I really did come here to get something. I recently, well, maybe a few months ago, Richard Baker Roshi, who has stepped down as the abbot of Dharma Sangha, which he founded after leaving Zen Center, I went to Germany. I happened to be nearby. And I went to Germany to the stepping-down ceremony. And at one point, a few months before that, he and I were walking here. He came to visit. And he had been my teacher for many years. And he said, oh...

[25:34]

you're a seeker, aren't you? I said, yeah, I guess, I guess so, but I haven't found anything. And I said, have you found anything? And he said, no. And I said, well, would you email me if you ever do? And we smiled. So when we understand that practice and enlightenment are both expressions of the great Dharma world, this very world where we are right now, then whether we realize enlightenment or not, we do not need to be discouraged by what we think we have or don't have, by what is far or what is near. Just as Dogen tells us in the Genjo Koan, when you first seek Dharma, you imagine you are far away from its environs. But Dharma is already correctly transmitted. You are immediately your original self. In every moment, you are immediately your original self. So in a world like that, in an all-inclusive world, we do not need to be discouraged if we think we're not enlightened or extremely happy if we think we are, because there is no difference.

[26:45]

Practice and enlightenment have equal value. All we have to do is practice. So the next teaching is from a talk by Suzuki Roshi, given to the sounds of crickets chirping and the water flowing at the Tassajara Creek. If enlightenment is important, then practice is also important. When you understand this point, within each step, we have enlightenment. But there will be no need to be excited about it. Step by step, we continue endless practice appreciating the bliss of the Dharma world, the world we have never left and never will. Left foot, right foot. Left foot, right foot. Is it my foot or is it your foot? Don't know. Practice based on enlightenment is beyond our experience of good or bad, is beyond our self-centered life. In the big Dharma world, the goal and the path are the same. A beginner's practice and the practice of a great Zen master are not different.

[27:50]

It's only when we are self-centered that we are deluded about the Buddha way. Again, as Dogen says from the Genjo Koan. To carry yourself forward... to experience myriad things is delusion. That myriad things come forth and experience themselves is awakening. Those who have great realization about delusion are Buddhas. Those who are greatly deluded about realization are sentient beings. Suzuki Roshi then talks about the last two lines of Sekito's poem. I respectfully urge you who study the mystery not to pass your days and nights in vain. Which he then says to the young students who are sitting there in front of him, this means don't goof off. I think Suzuki Roshi was already aware of the tendency that his students had to work hard while goofing off.

[28:53]

Meaning that if we are working hard with an attitude of attaining something, of getting somewhere or doing a great job, or on the other hand, of not knowing or caring what we're doing or why, that is goofing off. And then he says, if you goof off at Zen Center during the work periods, you are wasting your time. Even if you work very hard, maybe you are wasting your time. Work is not work, in his understanding of Zen. Work is wholehearted effort. The path is through the heart. which I think we sometimes forget when we're so busy working. We forget that our hearts are not in it. We forget why we're here and what it is that we came here to practice. We forget that the way is not in the sky, the way is in the heart. And we forget that we don't offer work practice here at Zen Center. I used to say that to people, you know, well, this is work practice, what we're giving you here.

[29:58]

And they go, well, really? It just seems like work. And I thought, well, it took me a while. It is work. We are giving you work. That's what we're offering you, work that supports our communal life. And you also receive easy access to a Zendo, to some teachings, to a library, and so on, and some reminders about why you came here in the first place. So it's those teachings, such as the one that Suzuki Roshi gave to us not so long ago, that show us how to bring practice to the work. Whatever kind of work we're doing, whether it's tiny little things like sewing stitches in Raksu, or big things like loads of rocks at the Suzuki Roshi Memorial, how do you bring practice to your work? And then he talks about the koan, every day is a good day. and says that this famous koan doesn't mean we can't complain when we have some difficulties.

[30:59]

It means not to spend your precious time complaining, comparing, competing, and judging. It means not to waste your life. It means do everything for the benefit of everyone. And then a student complains to him. But we're always too busy. Saying so Roshi replies, is a sure sign that you're spending your time in vain. Most people do things with some feeling of purpose, as if they know what they are doing. But even so, I don't think they have a proper understanding of their activity. When we do something with a purpose that is based on some measurement of good or bad, useful or useless, more or less valuable, our understanding is not perfect. Doing things that need to be done is real practice. If you do things not because of Buddha or truth or yourself or others, but for the things themselves, that is the true way.

[32:01]

He then talks about how doing things allows us to live on the ground and not up in the sky. Allows us to walk on our two feet and to sit on our black cushions. It allows us to be right here. Right here where we are. doing the things that need to be done right now. In the wide world, our feet are always our best friends. In this room, our sitting cushions and chairs are our best friends. When we go to bed tonight, our bed will be our best friend, and we will forget all about our feet and our cushions. To reside in this moment with this activity throughout the day is throughout our lives and throughout our heart is true Zazen practice there is no other Zazen practice again Dogen's words in the practice enlightenment of the way meeting one thing is mastering it doing one practice is practicing completely here is the place here the way unfolds the boundary of realization is not distinct for the realization comes forth simultaneously

[33:18]

with mastery of the Buddha Dharma. So when we really practice here in this place, we are not lost. Even in our tiny boats out there on the open ocean, we are not lost. The ocean is certainly not lost. Our companions in the boat are not lost. Our feelings, perceptions, and impulses to take action are the jolly pirates who not only help us along the way, who are us along the way. By being where we are and who we are, no matter how far we travel in the Dharma world, we will have no difficulty in crossing the ocean or crossing a busy highway. One foot after the other, or one push of a wheel after another, just as some of the folks where I live need to do. When Zen teaching first arrived in China, there was a lot of controversy about the right way and the wrong way. I think there still is.

[34:19]

There certainly is an Enso village. We'll see about which way the chairs face in the zendo. Do they face the wall or do they face the center of the room? These are the things we talk about now. So in Suzuki Roshi's view, the many competing schools of Buddhism had lost the main point of their practice. And so our ancestors are saying to us, don't spend your time finding out how you are right and others are wrong. Don't sacrifice your actual practice to some idealistic practice based on some notion of perfection, meaning don't pass your days and nights in vain. So to close this morning, I want to share a story from the Zen tradition that Suzuki Roshi retells in his book, Branching Streams Flow in the Dark. The book really is a collection of lectures in which Roshi was teaching his new disciples about Sekito Gisen's Dharma poem. the Sandokai that I mentioned earlier. So before telling the story, Roshi talks about not being caught in some selfish idea of our practice or of the teaching, that not being caught in some selfishness is following the Buddha's practice in the right way.

[35:31]

He says, we sometimes call this selfless practice tile-polishing practice. Tile. Tiles, as in the bathroom, bathroom tile. Tile-polishing practice. And then he tells this story of Nangaku, a disciple of the sixth Chinese Zen ancestor Daikaneno. In this story, Nangaku walks by his student Baso, who is practicing Zazen, and asks him, what are you doing? I'm practicing Zazen, Baso replies. Why are you doing that? His teacher then asks. In order to become a Buddha. Oh, that's very nice of you to try to become a Buddha, says Nangaku, picking up a tile and starting to polish it. Basso then asks with some curiosity, what are you doing? The teacher says, I want to make this tile into a mirror. Basso asks the teacher, is it possible to make a tile into a mirror?

[36:34]

To which Nangaku replies... You said you are practicing zazen to become a Buddha, but a Buddha is not always someone who attains enlightenment. Everyone is a Buddha already, whether they have attained enlightenment or not. Basso says, But I want to become a Buddha through sitting practice. Nangalka replies, You speak of practice in the sitting position, but to sit is not always zen. Whatever you do is zen. Basso was lost in confusion. then what would be the appropriate practice? Nangaku replies, if a cart does not go, what would be the appropriate means to make it go? To hit the cart or to hit the horse? Basso couldn't answer because he was still involved in practicing to attain something, practicing to get somewhere, to get that old horse to go, dragging the cart along behind it. So Nangaku says, trying to figure out which is right to hit the horse or the cart is wrong because the cart and the horse are not separate.

[37:41]

They are one. Body and mind are one. And then Suzuki Roshi says, so too with practice and enlightenment, they are one. When you do physical practice, that is also enlightenment. We call practice based on enlightenment. Real practice that has no end. And we call enlightenment that starts with practice and is one with practice beginning with enlightenment. If someone starts to practice, that is enlightenment. And where there is enlightenment, there is also practice. There is no enlightenment without practice. So if we don't stay on this spot, this one right here and right now, until we realize our own Dharma position, we are not practicing the Buddha way. Instead, we are wasting our time sacrificing our present moment at this time and in this place for some future attainment. That is not real practice. At the end of this talk about tile polishing practice, Suzuki Roshi responds to a student who has said to him that he cannot recite the Bodhisattva vow to save all beings because it doesn't make any sense to him.

[38:52]

That's your arrogance, the teacher says. at which the student starts to cry. I think you're the kitchen, aren't you? Please don't worry. Goodbye, and thank you. Thank you very much. That's your arrogance, the teacher says, at which the student starts to cry. Roshi then says, you are crying, even though crying doesn't make any sense to you either. Your effort is based on a selfish idea of your own understanding. You don't give yourself up. You have to suffer and fight more with yourself. There is no one else to fight with and nothing to fight for. Fight with your selfish practice until you give yourself up. That is the most important point for real students. They shouldn't fool themselves. They shouldn't be fooled by our teaching or by Zen or by anything. And another student then asks, well, then whose voice should I listen to? Roshi says you should listen to your own voice and to Buddha's voice.

[39:59]

That's what the Sandokai is all about. You think this is your voice, but it is also Buddha's voice. Your thinking comes from a one-sided feeling that you think you are here. You think you are Joe or Mary or David, but actually it's not so, not at all. I think I'm Suzuki, but if someone calls me Suzuki, I feel very funny. Yes, the student then says, but when I put my hands together and bow, someone might say, oh, that's a good bow, but there may be a cold heart behind it. Roshi then says, cold heart or warm heart is not the question. Is it still a good bow, the student asks? Roshi replies, perfect. So practice is not determined by what we think of our practice. It is determined by how we behave. how we express ourselves to others. If I say, ouch, what do you say? If I say, I'll cut this cat in half, what do you say?

[41:03]

Silence is consent. I think what this is all about is really that we don't understand the bright side of our life, the life of my bow and of your opinions, until we know and really, really know the dark side, the side in which the work of our life is happening. the actual work that we call our real life. Our real life always has two sides. It has Buddha and sentient beings in the same place, same location at this very moment. Buddhas and sentient beings. And they're good friends. They help each other. Sandokai, bowing one to the other, the harmony of difference and equality. So these lectures and stories and poems by our Zen ancestors are to encourage us, that's all. All they can talk about is the bright side, and all we can do with their talks is practice in the shadows, in the darkness of I don't know and I don't understand.

[42:05]

And yet if we think we can understand something that is completely different than the words of the ancestors, we are still stuck in brightness, dreaming of the dark. And so Suzuki Roshi says, we practice on and on mixing the ingredients together, chewing on them and feeling the energy that arises as the real food enters into and becomes our real life. When we go on in this way, one foot after the other, it doesn't really matter whether we are going next door or heading out to sea. If we stop walking and stop working with what is hard, sticking to some idea of what is right and what is wrong, we become lost in confusion. Suddenly mountains are mountains and rivers are rivers, and everywhere we turn, something is blocking our way. And even so, it's good to think about our life and our activity, about the kind of food we will eat and the places that we will travel, and yet it won't mean anything until we actually taste it, until we eat, until we walk, and until we arrive back home again.

[43:13]

And so Suzuki Roshi says, unless you chew it up, mix it all together and swallow it your life doesn't make any sense he also says that because our eyes only open to the outside we don't see inside of ourselves we don't see how the food that we eat or the thoughts that we think are doing the work of creation we don't see that our life is a creation of our mind and therefore we may think that our difficulties are caused by those other people the ones who appear to be outside. And so we become very concerned with them and critical of how they are practicing with us. And in this way, we are ignorant about ourselves, finding it hard to be in this world where criticism is so sharp and pointing at one another. This is terrible, Suzuki Roshi says, the year before he dies. And so we suffer because we don't understand who we really are, what we're made of, and what we're doing.

[44:15]

But once we understand those things that we think exist outside of ourselves, are really on the inside, are really our own critical ideas about the world, we begin to understand the big mind, our big mind that includes everything and everyone, positive and negative. In the Buddha's teaching, things happen only within ourselves, our big selves. They are simply the activities of our life, like our stomachs digesting food, like our minds recounting dreams like the feelings perceptions and impulses that we're having right now and so we stop we look more deeply and into the darkness we walk and we listen to what is it you who are you where are you going walking alone in the mud In the moonlight, tiny footprints left behind as though marking a journey.

[45:19]

What life is this, and who asks this question? Travel on. Don't worry. All pathways lead straight to the sea. Thank you very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered at no cost, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[45:56]

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