January Practice Period Class

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in
if the truth
morning

discuss in a pyramid a literature is a little bit late
trying to catch the wind and a paper sack
you're blowing bubbles and
no hanging them on your wall
let's start with an anecdote
you might have some bearing on the protestant pair of meta
some time in the this is from how agree as an ox so wonderful but and translated namibia
cook
on
well known magistrate
whose name was on
to don't poll sudan paul
he was a confucian scholar
celebrated poet calligrapher
and now
magistrates appointed by the by the emperor to
govern least four four provinces so he was a big shot this was soon dynasty
and at some point he he took interest in studying buddhism as well he thought he also become an accomplished buddhist and so because he had a photographic memory we memorized
the like the diamond sutra from from into end and then you would go around to the various monasteries and question the monks on the sutures diamond sutra heart sutra and so on and so you know what is it what does the beginning the fourth passage how does that go again and of course a month ago hot
this and he would he would die
put a finger ridicule the monks you call yourself zen students you are yourself diamond students you have memorized memorizes material
so he got the reputation be called mr scales
so he would eyes as he would inspect the to his official duties in the provinces as historic goes anyway
he would go and visit the various monks and do this and monasteries and so on isn't it kind of notorious reputation preceded him
that he get after a while i get kind of bored by doing this and began to lose interested in studying the buddha dharma
somebody mentioned there is a zen priest monk and he's made my good visit and
if you could learn something new
so he did but when he went there in his usual rather arrogant manner instead of stopping at the gate you know them protocol to stop outside the gate hit the on three times the
she could comes and asks what you want in you make your request you go in respectfully sit facing the buddha and
wait for ah
an audience with the with the roshi but he just rode his horse right into the courtyard didn't bother stopping got off the horse stomped into the
and to the buddha hall with shoes on maybe even i don't know sat down with his back to the buddha and waited for the teacher erica
take this will be an interesting encounter
the teacher and who said to be not very smart seven feet tall actually
coached over and is very in the you know very humble in receptive manner because after all these magistrates and incredible power
he said do what do we all this great honor sir
the manager rates impulse said well you know you know i'm i'm called mr scales you said nine i didn't know that you said you know i'm called mr scales he said no prison for me he said because i go wrong way he understanding of the various teachers as to what the buddha dhamma mac
and the rocio now
it's a how much is our way
at that moment of course to the poll woke up that is to say his you start allowing his usual projected idea of what buddhism was about it had broken up that little game of his and he decided maybe you should take on the practice over buddha dhamma
but she did and eventually became a
a disciple of one of the famous teachers i forget whom doesn't really remember that one anyway he did progress in a ransom humility and he has an interesting story in the light of what we're studying because
of our propensity to pick up a book or here at teaching and reapply it
kind of what we used to say laminate it and put it in your wallet and refer to it and something you can hang onto
but as we know in their personal pyramid teachings that's a big mistake
and so when we studied something that the ginger co on which begins with the same teaching at the diamond sutra and the heart sutra
ah illustrate his
as all things are the buddha dharma there his birth and death there are teachers are enlightened and and sentient beings and and so forth and as all things
the myriad things have no abiding self there is no buddha know dharma no birth and death
and so forth but done
the buddha dharma is jumping clear therefore of the many and the one therefore again just
in an attachment
flowers fall in the version wheat spread another translation is although we love the flowers they die only hate them the weeds grow
and so we're back where we started from in a conventional world of this and that self and other
myself
tell your story i'd like to make us look more personal
and then maybe have some discussion about this but gum
two years ago i had a i can remember exactly the place where
the kind of understanding or kind of but i won't go supposed to call a realization but
a kind of shout like that struck me and i was walking out here in the fields taking a break in the afternoon
and it came to me very obvious notion
and at the center of very surprising one because it seemed to fly in the face of everything i've been studying that i have always always been here
always always having been here there's that
i always and here none of those three things could be finally posited in any way whatsoever they finally solid way and yet the experience of being when you get down right to the an ontological basis of your life is that you cannot remember it time you weren't here eat
even know that here are the person that i remember is constantly changing you know the other day i looked at a picture that somebody gave me of myself graduate from high school i didn't recognize who that person was of course i knew it was my picture but if you had shown me that picture of somebody who fifty years ago had graduated from high school i was on its and on the
who that person is that the subjective feeling at that time of who i was is no different from the subjective feeling of being that i at this moment but this time so
i began to play game with myself and the game with with with myself as who am i apart from everything else and i couldn't you know let's let's say there is a self and another let's play this game
and let's see if i can find a self that does not include or has anything to do with otherness
the course the first thing i realized is that even as i'm saying is i'm taking a breath and that
every breath i take comes from that side this is the near side that's the fireside that's a pretty moment it was taking a breath the sun that falls on the earth and illuminates everything's see the seemingly out there
and yet i can't see with i can't see without it i can't live without it i can't grow without it
and
most most importantly every description
every
verbal convention and description had been given to me
i wasn't born with a language
somebody described begin to describe what the world was beginning with mommy and daddy and hot cold and so forth and very early period will begin to differentiate and
self from other in terms of concepts
on the very description that i was making about this to myself was also dependently core reason as we say there was something that was provided from out there to something that i thought was over here the long and short of that process of eliminating everything that i thought
that was other
was that when i reach for myself i come up with handfuls of you or when i reach for what i call this side all i come up with is that side and so i could see very clearly a but you can see it as we all know this to some extent think that there's no self that you can
hold onto that is not cool or isn't with everything else at for moment to moment and the interesting thing is although we have because of
ah well i won't talk about the process of thinking at this moment but anyway we have some called memory
and that memory is something that is constantly arising in the present even reaching for the present moment even reaching for this moment where is it i can't get hold of this moment
moment says i think that this moment there's such a thing as a present its i can't find it i can't i can't find the past other that in memory which is kind of mindset based on linguistic conventions feelings that arose with those linguistic conventions and the future because is something that in the present
moment i think about plan for taking all this that has been given to me from the past projected out into the so-called future and make my plans around that but this experience this existential experience of being and being now which is a question of time
that experience hasn't as subjective feeling is not changed you know from the time i can remember being alive quote
for all the changes bodily changes and for all the that mindsets and i've gone through and so on that is not change so this feeling that suddenly i have never been anywhere else but here even though i can't find a me or here that experience abides and that experience is not a part
from
the objects of my consciousness so what does what does that mean does that mean that that consciousness is a continual modification for a moment a moment of a is such a thing called consciousness over and apart from your experience of consciousness and has that somebody
or something always been experiencing what they call self and other in the world
even though that person that self is a convention called david in are here i am called david you know used to be called dave that i became diagon you see and there there is the the world of the separate self in in the conventional sense and that's the world in which we
operate but
i can't the aside from those conventions i can't find yourself that that persists except for this feeling that i've always been here the feeling that i've always been here then relate to the feeling that what makes you think you won't always have this experience
you won't be you may be may find yourself under some what you call you under some other
and some other being but you would you call you is the consciousness that is always self aware that has always here is always now and it's always being the self that's a self-fulfilling awareness self fulfilling summary is that i think that realization
that realization there's no different than buddhist realization i believe
as long as i don't call that realization a specific
something specifically that i can hang onto and around which i can form an identity and i'll take the question of death at the same time if you might you might have noticed that although everything objective lee it seems to grow
wither and die that is always always always an object to consciousness it is not a subjective realising the death itself dying is it an experience death itself we don't know you don't know all you know is the being
of being here and this being now whether you wake up from deep sleep at night when we know there's consciousness after all the heart is going on your breathing and so on but you'd come out of deep sleep without any dreams are you remember as before you went to into that state
suppose in time he didn't even use this expressions since time out of mine from what we call lifetime the lifetime of breath from breath this has been our experience there was never been such a thing therefore as the past or the future there's always just now and this happening that we call and then real fi and do
various substantial
states of being of consciousness and so forth of the world
anyway that was my feeling at that time and
a it became a kind of modus operandi for my practice because even that event that opening that kind of a sudden flash i couldn't hold onto snap by it wasn't
that by which i could live you see i'd forget that
so it when i began to read the pros a parameter that there is no self
other than the convention or self and that's it in fact it says in the heart sutra or in the person apparently and literature some the thing about this convention of language

no they they can find it maybe not but

i thought i had it mark there's a there's a place in the on this translation at least where he says all these
ah the buddha the dharma
the south the other are just linguistic conventions now we know from the study of noga juna early many of you know all of this the but the early buddhist philosopher nagarjuna
wrote very important work cause the maluma jamaica erica's or the
fundamental wisdom of the middle way
we think of the middle way sometimes it is it is avoiding extremes of
neil is or eternal islam or of over south degrading ascetic practices and and
self indulgence but actually more complicated and more subtle version of that is
by an ogre june of the understanding that emptiness and the middle way and conventional reality are exactly the same thing not exactly the same thing but that they call rise together and the most famous carica is from that is that if i recall on the translation script goes like this
ever
arises
is codependency arisen whatever codependency arises is said to be emptiness that mean it out which i just stated that statement
being a being a conventional are being a
he didn't take a mental being that being a own
well it's a conventional designation is itself the middle way
sackler has very see this is very difficult
like it yeah whatever whatever is whatever arises and whatever arises said the core arise that's understood you can't have one thing as core arisen as dependent a core risen and something else it isn't everything that is dependent core reason
except maybe nirvana well anyway won't have anything is his condition almost all things are conditioned and
whatever is in good condition with on core reason is said to be empty of any self that which i have just stated that that statement being a conventional designation that is a linguistic convention is itself the middle way
in other words how would you know
see the thing is that we take these this idea of language with we hear something we write it down we understand it that way and then we put out in front of us in grasp and try to hang a take that understanding and projected onto phenomenon and by the force of that projection respond to it accordingly
so we take the name for example i hear there's such a story called buddhism
there's a story called marxism there's a story called freud aneurysm is in the world according to i study this particular idea about what the world is and i react according to my understanding of that which is a linguistic convention but what what the president parameters was
essentially set up to
help monks to become aware of his don't real these teachings
what we've done for the moment that we were born is to take the understanding of what we think the world is to break it up into discrete entities of and then by responding to those entities with like and dislike with the emotional reactivity set of patterns of action in our life and we will get trapped by that the same thing happens
when we study religion it's just as more solid form of bondage and suffering that we
engage in so the interesting thing about buddhist practice is that it itself obviates itself in time when you see through the fact that there is no such thing as the buddha dharma if we turn it into a thing and set down in front of and grasp but like anything else however we have no choice but
just tell stories about it and make it into conventions and to understand that flow as the way to practice our life that's what human beings still
that is the beauty of that i that is the joy of life that is the joy of our practice is that when we understand this that is that it is ungraspable that in any final an absolute way it is ineffable that we cannot get hold of it and make it into something anymore than we get a hold of this feeling that i've mentioned about my
life and make it into something
other than conventions but we don't we we don't remember that their conventions we think it was we say that there is that there
build a solid snow emergency
and so
ah
this this teaching is is to alert us to the fact that the what is called the the golden chain the chain ourself with a golden chain of
religious practice of some sort of to free us from r bondage to conventional ideas that we rely or that we substantiate as absolute
anyway that's that's a story now that's a story that at this moment i'm telling you
am i tell you and you might tell me a different story tomorrow and see heaven but that that ability to do that that flexibility of our mine of our the of of the know the evolution of human consciousness to to evolve in split the the virginiana to split thought
you see the to set up a self and other and then to find conventions of a language around which we can explain that to one another constantly telling each other stores what else do we ever do but tallies from the stories
personal little stories that we really get involved and that's what most of our dharmic practice about our personal stars but then we see their personal stories can be transposed into a larger picture and so and that's what we hunger for
we fit into this thing but my experience you see that i'm trying to get at and which cannot be got at which cannot be understood in
other than in by pointing to it with these words
is that i am the world honored one you are who else could be the world honored one but you and me each of us how could it ever be different if if i have always been here
this feeling that i've always been here that everything comes forward to confirm that fact
and that i is nothing else but everything else coming up each one of us have that feeling it has given to each one of us we make stories around it what a beautiful thing to do as human beings
they have all this conflict or this problems it's no longer a problem
it's a dance that we can perform play with one and i set up ceremonies around rituals and software
the hi idea i think of soto practice is to have rituals were by we can see that a whole life is nothing but rituals
and then take those rituals that we do the bowing and saw that offer the marriage and on the big question of merit in here
but the mirror that was that we offer out tours the merit of depreciation that we have for the ineffable mystery you want to call on
of are being over our life and the joy actually that that that that that evokes
another where i would think of of of talking about this is a realization that i think any one of us appeared in some time is that we've always always always been happy
and it doesn't evident and and do with being happy getting something your life for a little while that whereas out in the next thing comes along and you're happy with end and the you know
now this being happy is the fact that everything that is coming forward to route to understand itself as me as you
which is a really a few your typical thing to say in a sense but everything coming forward to to confirm their self the big self that way is happiness
if we realized that this is a gift and that we're always in the midst of this gift and at one time we wanted to get out of this dilemma that we're always here
as i said maintains beam me up captain kirk you know i've had enough of this will stop it i want to get up i want to get to nirvana want to get to a place where don't have all this stuff to deal with
until the moment we realize we've always been dealing his stuff what makes with what makes me think i won't always be doing it but because this person has gone that person on this thing is it's going to in for me always it
what can we can't remember a time you weren't here and now by here i don't mean necessarily in this any dimension you can remember maybe you're out there you know with three hands or something floating around in some other dimension millions of dimensions this systems happens to be one of them that would focus data
obviously this world is not look the same to a chameleon that it looks to us or even to a cat this point of this quantum swarmed and it's hot here and there were making some sense
so i think that's the great gift to the president perimeter is is the realization of our life from that point that we can't get hold of it and yet here it is always and subjectively it always feels the same no matter how old your how you feel something is going through this what is there something i can tell you it's always going through it

there is a poem
that i like to quote
that i picked up from someone i think it was doing a practice period nothing rep rounded up in fact or somebody brought it to grab a few years ago and tassajara
wallace quarter for you and if i can remember it correctly
mr sir wallace stevens form it's called snowman you know that poem snowman so wonderful porn
and it talks about the kind of mind we have to develop in which to deal with this with phenomenon and as a phenomenon of subjectivity and it goes something like gone
one must have one must have a mind of winter
when must have a mind of winter to regard the frost and the bowels of the pine trees crusted with snow and have been cold a long time and have been called a long time
the junipers szeged with ice the spruces rough in the distant glitter of the january sun and not to think and not to think of any misery in the sound of the wind in the sound of a few leaves that is the sound of the land full of the same wind
which is blowing in the same bear place for the listener who listens in the snow and nothing himself beholds nothing that is not there and than nothing that is the listener in this know who beholds nothing that is not they're all the phenomena we can see him and then nothing that is
have to give out the develop the mind at winter the practice in which in the sound of the wind the feeling of the cold we don't project on this is miserable
this is wonderful
it was particularly appropriate in the middle of winter it tassajara a hard i have a home
in those days when there no heat to develop the mind of winter it became a bit of a joke but
one
and i have no jot down because as i was thinking of this yesterday i heard a poem
that david white was we say a recession that some day point and tsl it has a the situation of to terrific a kind of simplicity in our life you i'll take you to to drug to practice so that we finally can drop away the
the superfluous things that we think we need that a poet needs or that a practitioner in our and our lineage my name is a situation of complete simplicity costing not less than everything
assists with of complete simplicity kirsty nothing less than every shame
no
it seems you know by reading the the
especially the xin literature that the question of how to practice with a kind of dual vision and is to see the the core rising of everything the emptiness of things in the sense that they are free of our of our descriptions of them
that we are absolutely separate at the same time that can't be you you cannot be me you know and yet without you there's not a me and so forth and to see that at the same time to try to see the picture of the two faces
the the wind up goblet you know the space between the
it was turns into you know that equivocal space so you see the two faces to see those two things at the same times is almost impossible
but the practice it seems that we have to do is to develop a kind of dual vision that at the moment that these things are arising and that we feel the mind going on grasp in the world concept trying to hold onto some secure place in
in the karmic floor things
in that we have to remind us remember this mind of winter and take a breath at that moment just wait this is what does arise this was happening but feel yourself contract if you know we talked yesterday we could feel when anger comes up this this sense of i call the sense of contraction you can feel everything going to densify
becoming we're not become very sensitive to that physicality of experience that our practice
it is too
the very much in tune with our bodies in our minds so that the as we feel ourselves projecting an idea onto to two phenomena until the people under places and things and then reacting to the force of that experience in some positive or negative way redefining it substantiating it
we're we become really hip to the fact that we're doing them in the midst of it and we can't usually do that
without lots of practice and even with lots of practice we can't do it very well
i'm trying to remember story that
i'm down here somewhere fire
i think it's case thirty two of the blue collar record no of the
ah

shoko roku the book of serenity question as young child if someone if someone
sunday said all sentient beings have active cautious and this boundless and on clear with no fundamental to rely on how would you i would you prove this experience if someone suddenly said do you have all sentient beings have active consciousness boundless and unclear with no fundamental to rely on our
you would you prove that inexperience
gunshots said of a monk comes i say hey you
and if you to nj his head on her head and say what is it
and if the hesitate
i say not only is their active consciousness boundless and unclear they have no no fundamental to rely on
so we have nothing but conscious cosmic consciousness that's really all we have to work with we have to realize that fact in that karmic consciousness itself as so called buddha mind where we have to realize that karmic consciousness and the descriptions of the world and our predispositions with with
we seem seemingly have come into the world as a physical and propensities to to think and feel in a certain way or somebody said to come out of the world as were born to work with that and to see that
the language itself is a karmic
activity
and then not to get stuck by it and then there's another from the flower ornament sutra the fundamental affliction of ignorance itself is the immutable knowledge of the buddha's the fundamental affliction of ignorance itself is the immutable knowledge of the buddhist to become hip to become aware can become knowledge of
will about how we really act in terms of our of our comic reactivity
is to become familiar with
with a buddha dharma
the last one
we can remember the whole i can only remember that i can remove the whole
case but
the monk ask don't you remember that in the india
i've become soccer sutra they say the fundamental affliction of ignorance itself is the immutable knowledge about the buddhas
the unchanging knowledge about the ambrose the fundamental affliction of the ignorance
i don't know what a single thing is your it came to be except as you describe it to me
and that's only partial
there is such a thing is ignorance thinking you understand what the world is in such a thing called divine ignorance realize you don't know what a damn thing is ultimately those are not the same kind of ignorance
when we finally admit it we do not know i say that is the most intimate place that we begin to work from i don't know
is different from just shrug enough i don't know i don't care to know i want to know don't ask me that this not the same thing
you know i'm mom
i'm running a lot of things together here i just wrote down
as they occurred to me that you know how are going to talk about the price of her me i we going to talk about they say that
we can go over this sentence by sentence and discuss it and i think we will open this up in a minute but i just wanted to throw out a few things
to stimulate some conversation and maybe i have a few more notes or go to myself that i could share with you
yeah
ah

it's not so much that these separate self sense in the sense of others and so on his delusion
that's an illusion what his delusion is to take that illusion for truth with absolute that's the delusion people think well there is no other there is no self know and this number we understand the teaching to say there is self and other we understand a convention and they come up together
when the world is created you are created when you're not here whereas the world
but to take any aspect of that as something
absolute and that is the delusion

oh yeah and then the question of merit and was i was wanted to get back to you know and
and in india and indian philosophy and in the indian
really indian
view of things
way and a method that was very very important and that
based the buyer
by virtue of studying
one's life and by virtue of the fact that one realize that all of that which comes up in one's phenomenal existence certainly could not have simply arisen they feel or what quote is called one lifetime or one span it followed that the that dumb
if you're going to be here forever lifetime after lifetime and that this is a world of suffering than whatever way that the
and you can kind of grow through this process of suffering is to accumulate marriage and little bit like accumulating green stamps when you get enough of them you can and the men and you can reach nevada you have a place where you're not going to come back where you
and you're not going to suffer in this particular dimension anymore
so the idea of accumulating merit by doing good works is very big in the indian tradition and was carried over into into the buddhist canon but in the president pair of literature the merit that has accumulated as we know if somebody from the beginning of bodhidharma is not the kind of mirror necessarily so much let's find it
ooh good deeds is
build monasteries and train monks and
do good works follow the precepts but the merit that is accumulated is the merit of realizing that there is nothing intrinsic in the world that is and to pass on to others to awaken others to the fact that they're suffering
arises or is derived from their claim to some aspect of
of substantiating concepts
of right and wrong good and bad by dividing the world up in such a way and to to throw line onto that that particular
that particular response it we have developed through evolution of dividing the world and to become aware of how we do that that and to share that with other people to examine that together to study that to get thence there's merit in that in that a freezes you a free house md the whole point of all of this team
ching is sociological since it is is to free us from suffering isn't a what's a good at studying all of this effect if you know there is in some aspect of salvation
we call a salvation in christianity but we call it you know enlightenment of freedom in the buddhist tradition from suffering so the merit comes not so much from doing good works
when emperor wu tang to bodhidharma said i've set up all these
he's teach these monasteries and i
head teachers ordained and somewhat marriages in their bodies bodhisattva said no merit and he was taken back by that because that was the way people did things i would accumulate marin the next lifetime and get a little better birth
in this lifetime i get closer to the opportunity to become a buddha
but the aspect of the bodhisattva teaching you know there's not that we had become body first to become buddhas are not even that we have buddha nature but that we already are buddha that was an enormous change
enormous jump in the teaching this is something that we can attain that there's a south that's going to attain in some other lifetime
but we wake up to the vet here right now what is this that what is this a rising right now what is this
it's going to be something different from this and some other lifetime while we wait for you know this is the gravy train get on it
you can't get off at anyway
well so you might as well make the best thing
but there again again you know your words desert you know the remember some vibrations you're going on here you know your and vibration respond to i'm write a poem but remember this is just the story another story we're telling each other it's because it's a beautiful stone
and it has no absolutes substance whatsoever
the wonder is part is that we get together shock of i put on ropes and doing it that's to wonder assessment and you re on a rainy day talking about this instead of figure out how to get one up on somebody else

we are after all called windsor yeah way you know monks or lindsay clouds and water so that good day to see that in all the wiring is sucked up into the heavens and then it flows down over the world
ah clouds we just float and dissipate and like water will flow through the world and then even the water that gets trapped in the back reaches and doesn't reach the ocean that's where the lotuses girl
that mud so
we are all we
cloud water people take your whole of it it just flows consciousness just flows
well i managed not to get by fifty minutes by flapping my lips so we haven't
we have another forty with for some some discussion that might be possible around this and as we have the discussion that's also
the sensitive to the teaching that it is just a discussion
anybody have any questions we can even go back to yesterday's topic if you want them
anything that you want to bring up about the person apparently meter
literature is fred just the basic question what is the seven gifts
well have you know seven precious jewels i think they're talking about it is that there's a gold silver agates
cornelia lapis
ah
it your five i can't win the other two subsection
ruby's i think is another one who gold silver that this was movie origin columns and rows
girls
but maybe it's a maybe it's the seven ages of human beings
i want that that's a good on shakespeare seven ages
as chairman not weren't chairman illustrating that man well the first age is what does the infant the pukes in its near virginia from new and puking and the nurses arms right
ha
and then what isn't a schoolboy that unwillingly with sexual goes off like snail to school and then that in the lover
furnace sign like a furnace writing an old to his mistress as i brought like that
and then and then the soldier who you know full of something and seeking the bubble reputation even in the cannon's mouth
and then the wise old judge and or full of why saws he says you know so
and then the older person the no longer fills out his pantaloons
and with with with childish treble

really

that doesn't matter what on
but you might move

i
here

eventually made me see

have you seen that one storytelling g once there's more important than another term
well convention in esther
absolutely it would be heard him make a case for that but in the conventional sense which is a sense in which we live in society with one another
i would agree with you but it's a matter of preference
the matter what feels right for regard arms something that you you feel is a problem and you go to somebody else there's something arises to help you with a problem it seems natural that's when i have some kind of tour
so yeah
i think this is i would rather be doing this right now and then
i think
then sunday else answer the like simply keeps me being my will and several in samsara service we
but i don't know that that that is different from what we're talking about i think what we're talking about it is that there is in the conventional world a self and other and a way of doing gradations of values and value says
is what they are so what's more important to see that
at the same time
if we can sit at the same time to empty that that way we can really do with the world without trying to hang on your that way we can take care of the environment we can take your one another without expecting without expectation
maybe it's harmful stories
you know that and sad sad it it's really interesting
that
and maybe yes your laptop batteries more like this more likely that if reviewers good will hang onto and that well that's right if something feels building be and and we don't like would push it away or it
yeah it's tricky it's tricky business we're getting very slippery

i'm chewing on something vertical richly you
why do you were talking i saw the new poetry now for him again these trees
i thought there's so much and sell and just
a treat me know that it's true accurate batman
so just keeping that just treat they are the way they are that they seem to be no question they are it was one word in my mind that's unnatural and then listening to what we're talking about a dozen
if you say
i'll be natural
it sometimes it seems be so
difficult to just to live
so i'll be natural is a natural way our or
why are we the way we are it seems like this difference between us as humans and that tree or isn't there a difference i would say are we all natural
there's something for me i swimming hundred and again and again that encounter that question makes them from yonkers he says well we have consciously i mean we
there is there some point in evolution right in there was a division that took place in consciousness between self and other vision that kind of virginiana none of these division two things happening in the the
you know the early teachings divided the that kind of primordial
all the functions of consciousness in the primordial since was called cheetah and and then there was as the sense of separation so at some point no been as actually can get know when but at some point there's a sense of in consciousness of self another are particular human evolution
and that that division
which we call minus actually in tradition and then project in an object of his there's a gap was a kind of gap there
in consciousness so
that that sense of not quite be at home
in a world that that we have divided is what's called the human dilemma is a feeling of dis-ease or that's basic suffering actually dissatisfaction stress anxiety call it what you will we we don't know what it i don't know what a tree fields we don't know what trees feel what they don't apparently have caught
justice in the same sense that we do and they seem natural but it is natural
that we have replaced for human beings that we have this sense of dis-ease that's a natural part of our phenomena i think and to have to deal with that is to be he'll be
but we have to accept that
what what we try to do is get through her disease and either ignore it and the unease and ignore it and and find some way of hiding from it through here it
through the senses you know
to try to delight the senses in some way try to fulfill a self-fulfilling to fulfill ourselves in some way until we finally just give up a sense of self fulfillment in that sense of in in the way of gratifying our senses with as intellectual or central
take a deep breath let it out sit down and look at a wall
and finally go what is this dissatisfaction when is this anxiety i am feeling look at the trees
flowers nephew they read none neither do they saw yet your father feet of him how come that happens and i don't feel that way so that that is the motive but which has brought us to this place and time to try to understand that that's natural and human development
so deep and the buddha that's the body cheetah that's the start of the desire to understand to get to the bottom the root of our of our stress or anxiety
martha i think i mean that doesn't make me smile today i hear myself up your wax in this way
i don't know anyone and everyone i mean this is just as by murtha and some see for me at this point my practice because i'm finding it there's a kind of discourage woman's lap to me
like that when i listen to him that sort of edge meaningless mean know i read a book on the hundreds of kids jews in mazda change the way and if this extraordinary description of abraham be
and it's centuries now have you read
yes i know i wasn't here was not me
and i'm almost afraid to read next book by this meant
the
there's that longing you know somewhere or something
it is empty and
yeah i also feel heavy on that's going to say yes you know it's such a move
colonel yeah
same for me
yeah i've been reading that we said that
and she has this relationship
but names
and i wonder you know i've been wondering about motion flattens that comes from me from looking at an edging up to influence him and then i thought maybe ten the answer to
it's just one shot yes to build a community not
just aaron
i know
it passionate
i said i'm going to do i know here i sent you a plastic
well this
but it and yet is what it says
it is
i wish bullet of brother david was sitting here right now and ha ha
oh wow
it
it's great with
deck and said though i yeah
and i really i mean i think your question by the you know this couple of things that come up with my mind when i hear that one is that yes in this practice that we have innocence imported as christians and jews that we reach a place where there's you know we've been conditioned
willy nilly whether we believed in it or not traditionally and our families
about you know the ecstatic tradition of being fulfilled and and you know this sound you know some a roomy for a change in our life to realize the the world is the gift of god and that when we as human beings have the responsibility of living in the sight of god and having dominion over all things and so
foot
and i don't know that we've really come to grips with to or psychological reality as christians and jews for the most part and the buddha dharma you know and i think at some point in our practice we were turned on in the beginning by it but some point of finds out for us is because we're not getting something out of it in
the way we'd hoped to and the way that people and our maybe in our past in our family seem to get from the traditional religions that we avoided or less many of us did
but also in practice
the it does come up a point where i don't mean the honeymoon period that ends fairly early but i mean that you go through this kind of increments of inspiration and plateaus and it never comes a place where there's just seems to be flat and there's not much new nothing that you know you've read it
seems that keeps coming up our way so i go and sit
ah i remember what trungpa rinpoche chaser about that he said not until we really for boredom and disappointment in our practice we really begin to practice at some point
i wonder
i have read this same that happens in pakistan have a long time were able to the
at yeah
but what of who feel yeah i mean do study it and do read the next book and do become a good christian to i don't think that with you we can become christians in some sense i think you know a lot of your languages i like i have up
one guy laughing
i have written by rabbi who home penalty of course the practice and ah sorry i normally
burst
and how
cisco that he answered about those things make you happy
extraordinary able next week
wholesome folded
yeah
the come full circle with this issue
oh
the sixteen years ago sitting with a group i have started with loans meditation group in methodist church and then we started reading buddhist books and i took off the case has named buddhist and
dish themselves thing is that they kept bringing in costa rica
should have ties with that the church and my husband is going to that church and i decided that i wanted to go back and
i go back to this small group and sit and i pray with five when we wednesday after the mac and it's a weird experience limits good i don't take communion that views that's not for me i'll tell him
no it's interesting that i have gone that after a very long absence
well when the things that you know i realized it was that
but i came up in a family that was kind of divided their between protestants and catholics herbs and so the women went to church catholic women went to church their husbands would kind of agnostics is they own played cars washed ballgames and so on
and i used to fuel they're going to church was a kind of way of just gaining consolation because life is painful and there was a place where the socialize again some consolation and so forth but ah
i couldn't gain much consolation from christianity when i when i try to practice it and what i liked about going into buddhism is that from the beginning i dropped any idea of regaining some kind of consolation for my life thought that i was willing is give up some some concerning aspect of being but i
realize now that that really says it was talking this way that kind of the ecstatic sense of being here now that there is a consolation and that of the always being here and i don't feel like the indian mind felt that the world is a terrible place and i want to get out of it as part of even though it is a terrible place and gosh know we are
all go through the hell realms in the world still it is very much endemic to the eastern mind
legally in the sub continent that the world was
with her immense suffering over the millennia that they had suffered about the even my buddhist time that the world was replace them an hour to get out of
but to find out that the world that i want to get out of is the very world that i'm in and that that very world is also heaven heaven and earth of the same place of honor samsara or become coextensive
now it was a ten a console him with what i really experienced that in some sense it myself i felt that i was at home at last and then demand what i call a christian and jew or buddhist i was at home in this world in this body in this time and i can be just myself the crabby oh god i am
finally we all have our own differences so whatever brings us to that place i think and brings us into a place where we have some kind of loving heart open heart to the world that's what we want
isn't it i mean it doesn't matter how much i understand intellectually about this stuff
by loving hardman and accepting her
such things as they are and mean seventy things as your are those things that can accept and sassy that's also acids
i feel that way with might just be done but when i read poetry some time but i'm really moved by the poma it was with this wallace stevens went first year has just knocked me over dislike language all know is a convention is just the will most wonderful convention that we've come up with this human beings to give as shakespeare says to airy nothingness a local habitation and and a
name just a just that phrase alone wow somebody said that way when a wonderful way to say it to of the nothing nothingness a local habitation and named man who wish i mean my heart goes
we all feel vaccine yeah sign me up and yeah sign me up to work on a price we pay for applying name is this bondage yep you value yeah it's right to same time at the center so we were thinking of going back the
yeah attract hayden and that are nothing just another name
but it points to something that we all know in the home but you can't finally put it in the words parts come closer don't want to compose campaigners to now
a vicious
art art art art art art art and religion i want to ask i once asked may i send the mail i said you know i love our art artists always been kind of my religion lives as well it's very helpful that you feel kind of a spiritual dimension with it but if you notice artists can't take care of themselves at all
he knew because he wasn't obvious at the time we at one time so they had to practice
i don't know if that's true but at the time and think that that
but the point is we can't think of ourselves as as just artists are just buddhists and so that's what we're trying to real don't don't get stuck in being an artist or be an ebook social functions of somebody else hand up yes that's ways a session
the think that the hearing this time as well i'm scared
you sitting on can be added once
you know knowing
you and this is definitely true
vip love and
abiding and angle
and of course everyone has different definition like madam
we have an
a loved by the
well if somebody if anything it take away that love than there's a difference is that love is just consciousness itself is love the world is nothing but love everything that arises is the divine event the that's thin and that the by
an event cannot be pinned down in what's the difference
i don't see it
is it reminds me of the com set up that i capture when separated
the punchline in planes
see is that union think it's
don't call it
some years
pray that this punch
everything's in one day but
and yet we have
gotta be careful of a k stuck in good vs bad day
well
yeah i understand that the chicken ice
shop

tapia little and michael friedman and yesterday story can i have this laughing
and that the angry person slap a flower person the second time and then michael said oh so the flower person had
lotta was incorrect
those and
yeah i'd suggest that yes yeah so long as i stop
i t s the wedding register is an aggression there is i've never been so
and i my question in regard to this is did the angry person was there a change
i was doing that
savers don't know i imagine diving but that's my magic ah
hey
and what about the flower person
how is there to i imagined me
and i imagine he's gonna get the russia and a computer program and you know that
disability is that damage to go on or
i just saw this way i never i just saw something and i interpreted i haven't i never else either of them your experience of it or maybe i didn't i don't remember because what i remember is my take on
will enter
right before it's the question where question comes from when they're if she had the attitude you can see the two parties involved in as through time did the experience have any lasting effect or was it gone
but on them or on true
the all three parties in when she can she observed was there any time was there another practice period that another year another five years to see if that dramatic of experience whether it's the story or not change
the the anger and the sweetness
just cooperate with future students
it was it always customer it was transferred
somebody smack somebody at tulsa he care of them
separate food just have a memorial suburban minutes yeah
anyone

just a story that it's not as dramatic but there's the story of them
the guy chasing signature he the where it turns also and this guy was like a general or something he's come to take the ball the a rope and see features would do it one totally changes them
he could pick up the wrong he couldn't do it you can live the room
in what he has from a question that that will would say question is than sixty yeah i guess he said of thinking without thinking good or evil you what's your original face
at that moment without thinking good or evil so like stand in the corner and don't think of a white bear
without thinking without thinking it would without thinking
how might they do that

ah i purposely didn't bring in any the coanda in there are several cohen's a deal with with the
the material on the diamond
a countersuit sutra that were reading but i think norman who is going to pick those up
so i want a waiter bring those into it my discussion
i had something also and to say but i think i forgot what it is
yeah i haven't the tradition of picking out a passage at random
and reading an enchanting at them in unison like you know that everyone chanting a different page
although that is an old tradition
the to bed
oh no here and usually trying to made it up and i think in japan they whatever just whatever is if they do this kind of thing of the civil yolks are half who like they're hearing it wasn't around the pages are attention to so they turn the sutures like they read them all in a sense by going like this exposing
and i think somebody somebody decided it had really random the is a good random links was kind of like that and then we started doing it so presents an ammunition local and then aged later that that was just us and so you never find that some around smoke but we kind of like it so now it reminded me of glenn gould's
idea of north you know which is a thing that he did there was this contrapuntal conversation making it like music you know but all these different things that he recorded him
it is what it reminded me of martha and if you visit to bet on austerity and you can also be there is used to along
how bells ring
it is that happens so do you have it on a timer handy
stop the dog the dog has a time
dude looks
was that the
the
will anyway the to do to look at the world is as a description as explanation is word description and more explanation and then the see that those organic and descriptions are just that so the not just because they don't come without being loaded with emotional content
descriptions and explanations and discussion
but for me and once again i just want to reiterate that the
realization that language
as a condition or designate nation
and then from the beginning since the time before we can remember the world has been a description to us something total us
that those people that although to people who i'm told that cognitive scientists say that if to individuals would be rays somehow without any other language they will develop their own language but one would not he would find a way to communicate and were developer sound system of designations commission designation that i wish them
according to the circumstances and conditions in which they are raised
i do remember an article so we're years ago in the new yorker about somebody who had been blind remember that one very interesting and now that person
the behest of his wife i believe
he was found out that he he could get his sight back but he had spent
he had apparently seen before it before the conditioner designation before language had become
formed in in his mind and the world he became blind and he function very well as a mature and married and have your loves for it to listen to sports and so on until the he understood language and so on but once he got his sight back he could not correlate at all the words
as with what was going on he'd walk into a restaurant and bump into him and he could not
he could not an shut his eyes and manipulate in the world turn on a tv set of the a football game he he could not understand what that was at all cannot see it would you cannot put the concepts together with the songs that have to shut his eyes and just listen to it i think eventually he died in fact that it was a very tragic than a situation you just kind of went off
this top
which is interesting because we think there is already made world you see of the of this of the five skylanders you on that while we have to do is there it is for us and we need to do is plug and but in fact it is a core rising event and this arises that arise when the world arises lay which arises in the world would be in the makes sense of it
i did want to say one thing yesterday these aveda discussion about dumb
anger and on it was interesting before jonas salk died
but he he said that
you know he said that the limbic system than the to fight and fight flight or fight response in us no longer serves us very well served as farewell the anger and so that we felt and the fear that came up in the face of animals are predators that we were a good meal for predators and so on
but of course some of that has been transposed into our and aggression and in the business world and the world of competition to some extent civilized to some degree
hertz sports
but that the next step in evolution would be wisdom
very interesting is that the next step would be was made i don't remember how we define wisdom but it was a knowledge of a more in the inward journey of understanding the nature of thought and the nature of how we build a world together in common and that would be the next that in the process of evolution that that is that is definitely on the cards so maybe are
coming together you're sitting you're doing this is part of that whole process
i was thinking about that very thing when mikhail was talking about the tree and how it's natural on are we also in it seems like we've evolved into ever more acutely self conscious beings and so where does the you know if you look at just darwinian evolution you think while where's it going to go
from here and
you hope that it's going to go somewhere that isn't going to just make us more and more and more self conscious as we have all evolving into wisdom one a great idea of the show
we maybe have always have wisdom itself has already developing and yes
hey and talking about
social phenomena
like me it's not a conscious ness and
i'll say growing up absolutely no idea where everything that you know the word was that here and there was no teaching in our culture that helps us i just thought out sticks and stones can break my bones but words than are probably the only teaching way about language that i had a and then i'm thinking
also about as we teach the children language and how vivid how profound the feels for a child to learn a word and how we believe in year and we wait for their the altar there and you know this is a business that
the name of the name of the game is the game of the name
okay so that we have to remember that laminated put it in your wallet and then here but thank you emma yes i have the same feeling you know that so we only want to minutes to go and maybe you can close with a final question then we put our hands together
do are closing
words verse
maybe not equal justice at some point but until he does keep reading the words son and daughter a good family but to good family mean well one that obviously helped them to get in touch with
the buddha dharma but i don't know that it has any social implications i don't know the czech translation as permanent
there is footnote to that and
in one of the translations you can look up lol
the one that has some
the heart the diamond sutra together with
queens the platform sutra in the library there's a footnote on that in the deep blue welcome untouchables
yeah yeah i thought there was no class distinction that's one of the reasons that he was considered a heretic
thank you very much
me