This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. When Chuhaka Kumara was teaching at City Center, and he said, it is raining. That's what you say in English. What's the it? The sky, the clouds, the water drops. Somehow,

[01:08]

To make sense of things, we have to objectify them. Wilke said, we objectify them and then they become badly handled objects. So as we settle into Shashin, the interesting thing is practice doesn't change. We change. And we start to notice so many things change us. Sitting Zazen with the sand or the rain on the roof. a different experience whatever way that sound influences you whether it comforts you or frightens you then that's part of the ambience in which you're sitting so hopefully

[02:41]

this steady beat of your practice it's a very helpful and powerful ingredient to have a steady beat to your practice okay this this is this kind of involvement you know that's clear in your mind and that through being clear your mind comes through in your engagement myself once again I would say directed attention receptive attention let the breath breathe the body on the inhale extend the exhale then all sorts of minds come to meet that to engage that

[03:43]

under the steady influence of that the self changes and then as the self changes how the practice is experienced starts to change the directed attention rather than being trying to touch a mouse as it squirms all over the place The mouse moves a little slower and the finger moves a little defter. Instead of putting a stick in a fast flowing stream, it just causes turbulence. The stream is a little quieter and the presence of the stick is simpler. the directed attention starts to make contact.

[04:52]

The contact where something becomes tangible. It's like when the raindrops on the roof, the sound of the raindrops on the roof is heard, you know. It takes on its own being. not simply a constructed version of me which then is woven into whatever is going on for me. It has more of the flavor of inviting out beyond beyond the narrative of me.

[05:58]

And the receptive attention. Ticks in. As we start to immerse in Shashin, as we let it work its magic, It's as if internally we're not so crowded, we're not so filled up with thoughts and images and emotions. And the sound of the raindrop can be, can reverberate. It can exist. I was reading this morning one of Dogen's fascicles where he talks about that exchange between the emperor and Bodhidharma.

[07:14]

And the words he puts into Bodhidharma's mouth in response to the emperor's first question, what is the first principle of practice or the highest meaning of the holy truth? And the words he put into his mouth are, it's totally obvious. That which is totally obvious. It's totally obvious when we're present. And when we're in a swirl, it's invisible. How amazing. Or maybe we glimpse it. there's so much else going on that glimpse is ethereal and then in those moments where the mind is a little or a lot quieter a little or a lot more receptive it reverberates

[08:30]

Dogen says, it expresses the Buddha's seal. It expresses the searchness of each moment existence. The signs of the raindrops are just themselves to the expression of conditioned existence. They are beyond thought. They're inviting non-thinking. Then the amazing quality of our practice is as we sit, as we engage, as we walk and we engage, as we serve, as we engage, as we eat and we engage, as we chant and we engage,

[09:40]

in what is this conditioned existence is being influenced. And it's not contingent upon what we think the influence is or what conclusions we have about it. Then the art of our practice is to watch and listen and learn. What is this body-mind now? And then maybe as a parlor game, we contrast it to yesterday's, or that special body and mind we remember from some previous Hashim. Is this better than that? Hmm. No, that was perfect.

[10:42]

Back in the golden age. That way in which we want to know. We want to conclude. We want to... order predictability and this fierce beautiful life doesn't offer it it just says it appears the way it appears and it is what it is you can participate You can try to live in unawareness and separation. Intrigued by the workings of self, of me.

[11:56]

Or we can accept the invitation hear the raindrops. And rather than the construct of the self being the basis around which experiences The immediacy of now. The steady practice of interrupting the narrative, the intrigue, the images, the memories, the anticipations.

[13:10]

And discovering now. rediscovering, remembering. Because we've known this our whole life. This is not new to us. We rediscover, we remember what it is to be now. rediscover the hearing of now we rediscover the body we rediscover the breath we rediscover the relationship with what is that arises in now we're All the manifestations support us in awareness rather than some onerous, heroic task that we're undertaking on our own.

[14:44]

we pay attention and we watch the shifting self we watch as much as we can is the mind still generating the same topics for its own entertainment that it was before Shashi When those particular topics arise, do they have this same validity? Do they have this same authority? Or in the growing attribute of now, are they starting to become ethereal? Are they starting to become another?

[15:54]

object just like the raindrops or as Billy Collins would whimsically say you know are they just taking shape like a little balsa sailboat oh yes my worry about what I'm going to do with my life there it is two little sails and some rigging in between. So it's not like we impose this upon ourselves. How could we? The self is so magnificently stubborn.

[16:59]

Like my grandson. I asked him, are you going to practice Zen? He said, no. I've seen you do it, that's enough. He didn't say that. But that's what I got. sensible person would practice then. It's an absurdity. But this waking up and being what is, I mean, really, is there anything else that makes sense? Stay caught in a worried, anxious dream? It's like an unending story. So Bodhidharma says to the emperor, it's utterly obvious.

[18:19]

Glaringly obvious was the translation I wrote down. It's glaringly obvious what is. And it's beyond sacred. It's beyond constructing it in some way that complies with your hierarchy of experience. Can we invite in this kind of being? These moments of now.

[19:24]

Notice the it. It is really. When we notice it, it becomes a curiosity. That's true. That is what I say. It is raining. And usually I act as if I know exactly what I'm talking about. It's raining. And then with the tension, right there in the certainty, the mystery of existence, the not knowing. If you let it fall away from being an object, the verb is evident, raining, sign of raining, sensation of raining, the smell of raining,

[20:40]

ourselves into the activity of being rather than just the construct you know that peculiar phrase think not I think Gogan came up with that to punish us. Don't think about an elephant. Do not do it. It's more coincidental. As he says, we forget the self. our diligence our directed attention our receptive attention extending the inhale letting the extending the exhale letting the inhale breathe the body missing the mark a thousand times

[22:15]

Still the influence. Still something moves in its own way. We shapes. And our challenge is is to give over to something we're not in control of. To give over to something that goes beyond the ideas and the conclusions we have about it. And as we do that, thinking becomes less a matter of life and death. And non-thinking becomes more glaringly obvious.

[23:27]

What is it to think about in the sound of the raindrops? half hour ago it got quite dark so I turned off the light in my cabin and sat in the dark it was terrific it accomplished absolutely nothing I had no reason for doing it and it produced no tangible result it was terrific And yet, as Dogen says, without practice, the engagement doesn't become evident.

[24:37]

So the great gift of this time is now that the practice is in our body, now the practice is in how the breath breathes the body, effort isn't some isn't doesn't need to be so construed and motivated by what our mind thinks it can be allowed to be like hearing the raindrops you don't make hearing the raindrops it's not a willful act of your purposefulness. You don't make a darkened room. Here's how Rilke talks about it.

[25:54]

Shemeshini has the day off. Even dead people get a day off. What birds plunge through is not the intimate space in which you see all forms intensified. Out in the open, you'll be denied yourself. that will disappear in the vastness. When we're constructing something, that's not what birds are flying in. Birds are flying outside the construct.

[27:03]

Out in the open, you would be denied yourself. disappear in the vastness. Space reaches out and creates the world. To know a tree in its true element surround it with space from the pure abundance you are. Not as a purposeful act, but as receptive attention. The directed attention to the body and the breath. And it's endless mysteries. You know, when we pay close attention, there's always new discoveries.

[28:10]

Sometimes the discoveries you would rather not have, you know. Why is that part of my back icky right now? Sometimes a sense of something releasing. We didn't even know it was being held. Sometimes the constructed, conceptualized anatomy of the body disappearing into sensation. Sometimes the exhale, letting go of everything

[29:14]

that's being held. Sometimes the inhale. Yes, I will. Breathe. Live. Open. Accept. Become. Not as a list of words, but as a willingness to be. Always our practice is asking us to meet the next breath with this humble availability. And then when we blow it, there's another breath right behind it. How great is that? Let's try that one again.

[30:16]

Prajnatara says hundreds and thousands of times. I read this sutra of the breath. And as this diligence creates its own sensibility of being, get excited and say a radical new order as Rukki says from the abundance within And then our effort becomes more refined.

[31:33]

Can the receptivity have a gentle touch? Perceptive? Attentive? this not knowing doesn't require that the inner narrative has totally left the premises just that it's not running around screaming and yelling and if it's running around screaming and yelling Pay attention to that. Let that be the suchness of what is. Listen to it thoroughly.

[32:52]

Feel what that says about who you are and what's important in your life as you experience it. Space reaches out and constructs the world. To know a tree and its true element, cast inner space around it from the pure abundance within. Surround it with restraint. It has no limits. Not till it is held in your renouncing is it really there. You don't own the sound of the raindrops.

[33:59]

You can write about it in your journal if you wish. You still won't own it. And this moment will still be ephemeral and transitory. Can it invite us beyond thinking, beyond the self? Can it invite us into not knowing? Can it instruct us in what it is to practice? Can it help us see the point of all our efforts and involvement?

[35:18]

That at the heart of our practice is something extraordinarily simple, extraordinarily direct, and extraordinarily available. And in every moment it's there. And we watch for clues. We watch for instructions from directed attention. What is the directed attention that makes contact lightly? It's less about the will and intention of the doer and just the experience of what is.

[36:33]

What is the sound rather than the preoccupation with the determination to hear and receptive attention in the receptive attention what's being heard it's like it comes forth it's not elsewhere it's not elsewhere not something that's manufactured this is the delicate exploration as we settle in decision

[37:54]

Almost embarrassingly simple. And at the same time, literally, earth shattering. Changing the unexamined it that abides in the middle of our life. letting the me and the self become pliable and porous. Not surprised as they shift shapes throughout the day. Dr. Zenji says, this is the wood and stone of the realms of existence and non-existence and emptiness and form and so on.

[39:08]

With this wood and stone, one aspires, one practices, one realizes. This is because wood and stone become what is. what's tangible is what is. Conceptually it's barely worth mentioning, it's trivial. Experientially in what it implicates in how we're grasping or not grasping the soul, it's powerful.

[40:12]

And that shift, as we touch it and we experience and we learn, we learn in the realm of Vrinda consciousness, learning that happens in experience not in cognitive mind and that as we repeat the experience there's some familiarity and in the familiarity there is accessibility now if we shift back into cognitive mind and try to know it and own it, and put it in our pocket, and write about it in our scrapbook, we're back inside a dream. It's radically different from self.

[41:19]

So we forget. And then we experience it again, and it's like, ah. And then again, we wrap it inside thought. And slowly we learn non-thinking, invited outside of thought. And then we turn out the light for no good reason, for no great consequence. And we bow as we come into the Zendo for no good reason, for no purpose or consequence, for no sacredness or higher or lower.

[42:30]

just that every space invites its own intimacy and why wouldn't we accept that invitation so we become explorers we become explorers in a new territory of consciousness in a new way of being. And we explore what is it to let the self shift? What is it to let the conditions of now undo meet? What is it to let this be itself?

[43:38]

And what is it to breathe in harmony and resonance with that? What is it to walk without going anywhere? and then arrive somewhere. Our activities become a koan. And in the background the murmuring, sometimes the adamant shouting of the self. How amazing.

[44:48]

Can it be seen like it's never been seen before? Can it be listened to like it's never been listened to before. More that we marvel at it and invite it into now. Let it have its own exact shape changes what that happened to by the power of this wood

[46:08]

and stone consciousness, the present thinking of what is not thinking shall become manifest. And of course that sentence is a hoax. Thinking, not thinking. Opening up to now, thinking loses its authority to make reality. It's just another phenomenon expressing itself in the moment.

[47:09]

So each of us is challenged to discover how do we invite ourselves into this way of being? How do we not make it into a thing, an it? How do we approach it more like a three-year-old? Curious, with nothing to prove, no great consequence in mind. But just willing to experience what's glaringly obvious. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving.

[48:28]

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