This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. Thank you for coming. It's interesting, this fear before giving a talk, it never seems to end. Interesting. And I know I'll survive, I think. Yeah, I don't know what that is. Maybe it belongs louder. Oh, it doesn't work.

[01:02]

Do we have another headphone for our friend? Second row, last seat. Yeah, we just said we vow to taste the Tathagata's words. And I am bringing a poem where we have to find the Tathagata's words, because as art pieces are, everybody can find something in them. It's a poem by a Frenchman, Jacques Privel. You might know The Children of Paradise, an old film. It became a classic. He was also a screenplay, but more famous for his, he's a surrealist, more famous for his poems. And... artists saw something in there or thought he speaks about art, other people thought he speaks about philosophy.

[02:09]

And I found it in a book by Katagiri Roshi, a Zen teacher. He thought that the poem goes well with the communion between self and the universe. So for Katagiri Roshi, it was about ritual. That's why it was in a Zen book. And I'm sure that every spiritual seeker will find something in this poem, because we find something everywhere, right? It's called To Paint the Portrait of the Bird. Does anybody know that? To Paint the Portrait of the Bird? Some people who work with me might know it. It starts. First, Paint a cage with an open door. Then paint something pretty, something simple, something beautiful, something useful for the bird.

[03:16]

So it starts out with first paint a cage with an open door. The cage is already there. The cage is, for me, our body-mind. Sometimes it feels limited. It feels like a cage. We even say, oh, we are stuck. We feel like in a cage of our conditions, thinking, and the body is limited. The body is getting sick and old. So it feels sometimes negative when we use the word cage for our body-mind. On the other hand, for me, it's a vessel, right? How can a bird, or whatever now you want to apply to this bird that the eye wants to meet, it can be enlightenment, it can be patience, it can be, what else can it be? What are you waiting for? What would you like to meet? Any ideas? Whatever we want to meet, may it be enlightenment or wake, being awake, wakefulness, may it be stillness, it needs a vessel.

[04:32]

There cannot be enlightenment or stillness or awakening without us, without a vessel. So the body, yes, is on one hand a limitation, on the other hand, we are on this earth already and The body is all we have, and the body is, although it seems to be not infinite, it has so many possibilities. So this vessel is able to meet a lot of things, and we will hear more about it. And already the title, To Paint the Portrait of the Bird, first I didn't catch it, but then I thought, wait a minute, the portrait of a bird, like... Just the headshot? What does that mean? Is that of any use? And then I think there's already the other layer, a deeper level of if it's not just about the headshot of a bird, and sometimes it's a bird, and in some translation it's the bird, the definite article, the one thing we want to meet.

[05:44]

If it's not the portrait we know, What is a portrait? Usually it's a still photo or image of somebody. It's not a snapshot, right? It's something composed and usually in stillness. And when we look at it, we see pretty deeply. We can see how that person feels and what mood they are. And it tells us something about the one who made the painting or took the photo. More maybe about the painting, how they see somebody. So there we are already on a deeper level that it's not just about painting a bird or how to catch a bird. It's about meeting something that is maybe composed of stillness. So we paint a cage with an open door. And again, isn't the body open already?

[06:46]

You know, we have... some openings here that connect us to the so-called outside, the nostrils, the ears, the eyes. We are open and connected actually already. Everything is given and set up that we can connect. And so that one door we have, it's actually also our skin, you know? The skin is breathing and breath, breathing connects us with the outside. We are breathing. So actually this connectedness is already there. And again, so it's like an open vessel for me. The cage, yes, has bars. And you can look at it as prison or there's space in between. So it's transparent. That's another way of looking at it. So the cage we paint has an open door. And then we paint something else. which is not more described, it just said we paint something pretty, something simple, something beautiful, something useful for the bird.

[07:55]

So we paint something that might attract a bird, might attract stillness, might attract awakening. In the case of a bird, it might be some water, some food, maybe another bird, a mate. It doesn't tell about it. And for us, on this level of looking at the bird as stillness, as wakefulness, if you want, enlightenment, what would that be? That would be like we prepare ourselves. We prepare our vessel. We try to be open and still, and we get... And here's some teachings and we fill up with teachings. So what we can do is the preparations, set conditions so that the bird can arrive and likes to arrive. Then place the canvas against a tree in a garden, in a wood or in a forest.

[09:04]

That's the second part of the setting up. So when you are prepared, there are several conditions. Some are inner work and inside work. Some are having right conditions like being on a silent retreat, having a quiet room at home. We're setting up some conditions that the bird likes to come. And then we hide behind a tree without speaking and without moving. So then... The advice is, hide behind the tree without speaking, without moving. So the I, or ego, disappears behind a tree and is like waiting, like the cat in front of the mouse hole. Is the bird coming? Is there something coming up while I sit in Zazen? Yeah, something actually wants to come up.

[10:07]

What is it? So the I more and more disappears, and we make ourselves ready for the moment that wants to come up with something. And it only works, and it works better, maybe only works, it depends how much you expect when the I disappears. The capital I, right? The ego disappears. If there's too much knowing already what we want and what we expect and what the bird should look like and how big it should be and how long it should stay, of course, forever, there's too much expectation. Nothing new can happen. Actually, nothing really can happen. And definitely not a meeting. Definitely not a face-to-face, a portrait-to-portrait meeting. Sometimes the bird comes quickly. but he may take long years before deciding."

[11:09]

So again, it's not up to us. It's not in our hands. We cannot decide when it happens. We can set conditions and make setups that are inviting maybe, and it's more like maybe grace. It's not up to us what happens and if it happens at all. We can just be ready, do our work, and wait, and wait in a certain way of being, which is more like patience and being in peace with already is, so that our expectations don't get so high and, you know, that if we wait with effort, probably we scare the bird away. So it's up to the bird to decide whether he or she or it wants to come and when it comes. Don't get discouraged because it can take a long time. Don't get discouraged.

[12:11]

Wait. Wait years if necessary. And in poetry and in spirituality, we know that waiting or time, it's not about time, of course. When it says a year, it can take years. It means, of course, It's about eternity. It's not about waiting a year or two or ten, and then we are done with our priest training. It's more a state of being, and that waiting is not waiting for something anymore. It's really this being ready. Whatever comes, we are prepared. The person in front of us is the most important. The situation we meet that we are in is the most important. This piece of being with what is. Do your headphones work? I think my headphones do. Yes?

[13:14]

Great. How fast or how slowly the bird comes has nothing to do with the success of the picture. And that is not So satisfying maybe sometimes, because why should we spend 20 years in a monastery, right? Or a week on the cushion, sitting eight or nine hours a day, if there wasn't some expectation, some what? Yeah, some expectation. So what now? How fast or how slowly the bird comes has nothing to do with the success of the picture. The French word instead of picture is actually, I think also at this spot, not picture, but tableau. Do I pronounce it right? Tableau? Tableau? And tableau is a living scene.

[14:14]

So actually it says it doesn't matter for our life. what experience it is. Because our life is our life and we cannot, again, we can do this work on the setup, we can do our inner work, we can maybe create good conditions for us and for others, and we have no control, right? There might be fights and wars and a drought and an earthquake, we have no control. And Our life is our life, no matter what happens. I mean, we can decide to be unhappy with it or to be in peace with it. That is the only decision we can make. We cannot decide that enlightenment or waking up comes to us. That is sometimes hard to swallow, right? Because of course we want some success, some result, fruit.

[15:16]

of all of our effort in life. When the bird comes, if he comes, observe the most profound silence till the bird enters the cage. And when he has entered, gently close the door with a brush. So it is a little bit like capturing a bird, catching a bird. So when the bird comes, if he comes, remain in silence and then close the door with a brush stroke. It's still a painting, right? And here's a paradox. That's why it's a poem, many levels, maybe even a koan. So when something is coming up, the more I succeed in receiving, holding still, holding a field, not wanting, not disliking, not judging, but this, what we call just receiving, just sitting, just receiving what is and what wants to come, the bird, awakening or stillness, comes closer and closer and closer and might even enter my vessel.

[16:44]

my body-mind. And when it's here, somewhere, and it is I, and I am it, and who is who and what is what, I can't tell anymore. Is there a difference? I close the door by not moving, holding the space in stillness. Then erase all the bars one by one. I am still a cage, right? And I start to erase, not too quickly. Slowly, I erase the bars of my vessel. Taking care not to touch any of the bird's feathers. So I slowly let go of limitation, of bars, of the vessel itself, and carefully I take care that I don't touch the feathers and erase the feathers of the bird.

[18:04]

In one sutra it says, turning away and touching are both wrong, coming too close and staying away too far are both wrong. So what is this right space for a meeting? That the bird awakening stillness is with me and I'm with it. And as I said, what is what? You know, it might become like a unity or one. And getting too close, wanting too much or wanting not enough or being too harsh, not tender, not kind enough, not holding the field in a way the bird likes it, might hurt the bird, might destroy this relationship, this meeting. And it is true that, especially when we are unexperienced in the beginning, I remember that fear came up.

[19:06]

when something happened. It was like dropping down, dropping down, dropping down, and fear came up. Or the other side is we get excited when something happens. Wow, there it is! There it is! And in that moment it is gone because of our judgmental mind came in. It was so happy, and then it was away again. So either way, being scared or being too excited might destroy the feathers of the bird. the tenderness of stillness, the tenderness of waking up. So we are taking care not to touch any of the bird's feathers. Then the next advice is, paint the portrait of the tree, choosing the most beautiful of its branches for the bird. So the vessel is gone, this one, the cage, the vessel, I call it, that was able to call the bird, and the bird did respond.

[20:12]

It came. The bird did respond and entered the cage. Then my response to the bird's arrival was to erase the bars. And holding the field is making possible the best we can do. And if we can, we create even better conditions for a bird. What does a bird love? Air and trees, right? They love to hang out in trees. Several of them, or just one, and they sing. And so it's our job to paint a beautiful tree, create a beautiful tree, or as I called it, holding or creating a field that the bird likes to sing and play and spread out and maybe build a nest, maybe, but not expecting it, just creating the conditions.

[21:15]

So paint the portrait of the tree, choosing the most beautiful of its branches for the bird. Paint also the green foliage and the wind's freshness, and paint the dust of the sun. Paint the noise of the creatures in the grass in the summer heat. We can paint green leaves, but then the next associations, like paint the wind's freshness. How do you paint wind's freshness? How do we paint the dust of the sun? How do we paint the noise of creatures in the grass in the summer heat? That is up to us. our fantasy, our style, our personal note of our individual life, how we create or paint this tree, and how we paint the tableau, the painting of our life.

[22:17]

And then wait. Wait for the bird to decide to sing. Again, the bird decides. when it sings and whether it starts to sing. If the bird doesn't sing, it's a bad sign. A sign that the painting is bad. But if he sings, it's a good sign. A sign that you can sign. Because it's still a picture of our life that we can sign. So if he sings, it's a good sign. It's at home. It's meeting us. We created the right conditions. And it likes to stay and sing and maybe found a family. If he sings, it's a good sign. A sign that you can sign. So then very gently pull out one of the bird's feathers.

[23:28]

That doesn't maybe... doesn't sound very friendly or tender. And again, the bird, where's the bird? The bird is stillness, the bird is awakening, I am it, it is me. There's a suggestion that that may happen. A meeting maybe doesn't always have to be nice, nice, nice, you know, and only careful. There might also be some interaction. So I might take something and another point the bird might take something from me, like the nest I built for it, or the nest I paint for it, the painting, the tree I paint for it. So it's a giving and taking. It's a call and response. So then, very gently, pull out one of the bird's feathers, and you write your name in a corner of the picture. So we may sign that picture, that tableau, that living scene because it is our life.

[24:40]

It has the colors and the taste of our life. We are still individuals. Even when we say we are all one, of course we are interrelated and we are individuals and we make the world and we bring different sounds and voices to the world and different creations, different professions, different skills. We all look different and wear different clothing, and that makes the world and life worthwhile, that there are many of us, multitudes, many colors. And we not only may, I think it's even responsibility to sign, to take the responsibility, I did this. I did what I could for my life. I take full responsibility for the creation of my life.

[25:46]

It's not about others and what they did to me and said to me. And it's not that I'm just partly responsible because other people did their thing. If I take full responsibility for everything, I may sign and I am responsible to sign. And it suggests in a corner of the picture, in the German translation it says, at the edge of a picture. So somewhere, humble, but yes, in small letters, Mioe, Sam, Hakusho, Marie, it's our life. So that was the spiritual or Zen interpretation. And as I said, when an artist reads this, you might read the connection between your artwork and yourself.

[26:49]

I found that a Jungian The author thought that this is about psychoanalysis and another therapy form. So there are many possibilities to read the poem. And then I found another quote. Now I know why it fits. I wasn't sure, but it does fit. A poem is never finished. only abandoned means an artwork is never finished. The artist only abandons it. She stops at one point when it's time to stop. And what is that about our life? As I said, when we regard and if we regard this poem or the living scene as our life, is it ever finished?

[27:51]

And even when we sign it, after we have signed it, when we take full responsibility and we say, yes, our life, it looks as if it's finished after 80 or 90 years when we are, I don't know whether we are lucky or not. So the length maybe again doesn't matter. But does it ever finish? Or does it continue in others? You know, in our children and relatives and friends and artworks and other works we have done and other benefit by. So actually our life is never finished, only abandoned at one point. In the French language, the poem has some ease and playfulness. that might not come across so much when I read it, I mean, me in reading an English poem. That's why I asked Marie, who is fluent in French, to read the first line.

[28:56]

Would you still do it? Do you have the courage to come up? Great. Thank you very much. You get my mic to make sure you are heard. Just maybe you could hold it in front of your mouth. and maybe just sans bouger, without moving, so that you get a little bit the taste and playfulness and ease of the French language. Peindre d'abord une cage avec une porte ouverte. Peindre ensuite quelque chose de joli, quelque chose de simple, quelque chose de beau, quelque chose d'utile pour l'oiseau. Placez ensuite une toile contre un arbre dans un jardin, dans un bois, ou dans une forêt, se cacher derrière l'arbre, sans rien dire, sans bouger. Merci beaucoup. Merci. So I spared you to hear French with a German accent.

[29:59]

Thank you so much, Marie. Sans bouger, without moving. Yeah. So I didn't even speak about the paradox and the koan that an author writes a poem about a painting. And I noticed sometimes in the middle of the poem when I was with it and thought about it, I didn't even know anymore. Was I in that painting or was I in that poem? And at the very end, I had almost forgotten that it's about making a painting. drawing, because he used these images that are like paradox, how can you, when he used close the cage with a brush, or you paint a cage and a bird can enter it. This is actually, with a rational mind, it's not possible, right?

[31:02]

So this poem is also full of paradox and My Zen mind liked that a lot and my playfulness responded to this poem. And I think that I stop here and let you live your life and let you find your colors and may you find the courage to sign your your painting. Thank you very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our programs are made possible by the donations we receive. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support. For more information, visit sfzc.org and click giving.

[32:06]

May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[32:09]

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