This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfcc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. So whenever I'm preparing to give a talk, I start reflecting on what's up for me these days. And so for today's talk, one of the answers arrived during Zazen the other morning. the form of a visual image and with myself naturally at the center of our confluence of massive liquid forces like rivers or pipelines and these forces were coming not only at me but passing through me now if I were still in therapy my dear therapist would probably ask me you know what that might be about and perhaps suggest it had something to do with my leaving Zen Center soon, beginning of next year.

[01:03]

And because of that major life change, my unconscious is offering me an opportunity to reflect on the major influences on my life. Possible. So one of those massive liquid forces I interpreted as the river of the Buddha's teaching, the Buddha Dharma. arriving from the West, having traveled throughout East Asia for over 2,500 years from its headwaters in northern India and the birth of a baby Buddha. And the second major flowing force recently returned into my personal lifestream has its headwaters in the Middle East. precisely in the town of Bethlehem, having much to do with the beginnings of a tradition that started 2,000 years ago with the birth of the baby Jesus.

[02:05]

So stories and celebrations of Jesus as the Son of God were a big part of my childhood, my early formation, and how I came to be a human being up to a certain age, how I understood what a human being was and where we came from. and who made us. And then there's the third river, which I see as the oldest and the deepest of them all, carrying with it the call of home. Not home as in my own home. We are all immigrants here. But rather as the place where we have come from, our natal waters, so to speak. So that river, has been flowing over all the lands of the earth for about 300,000 years, from its headwaters in the continent of Africa, the birthplace of what we call humankind, or what science has called since 1735, Homo sapiens, wise humans.

[03:15]

So that massive river may continue its flow of wise humans unless we completely forget what it is that we are here to do and who we are going to be doing it with. So on reflection, what the story of these three rivers has given me is an opportunity to appreciate the values that I hold as a person in the world, where those values came from, as well as the possibility of renewing my commitment to them. Next year, I, along with a number of my Zen comrades, will be again living in an intentional community, somewhat like this one. Only the values of that community, like those carried by the rivers of my dream, will be coming from those varieties of directions. As some of you know, Our new home, located north of Marin, is called Enso Village, with its own unique origin story.

[04:23]

A story of the ongoing collaboration between the Zen Center and a non-profit organization called Kendall Corporation. Kendall Corporation was founded by and is devoted to Quaker values. In other words, our Zen Buddhist stream from the West is conjoining with the Quaker stream from the East to create a communal living opportunity based in the values of both. As we now are consciously beginning to plan just how we human beings are going to live together harmoniously to the end of our days, perhaps even forging a new communal model that will be an inspiration to others. not just a privileged few. So to add a little more texture to my effort to try and understand the source of shared human values, I want to say a little more about that third massive river, the life stream of our humanity that brought all of us here today together.

[05:35]

So one regrettable aspect of our humanity is how easily we have forgotten. ancestral home our common ground as over millennia we have splintered into tribes and countries and empires intent throughout human history on dominating one another including domination over one another's values these added textures to my exploration about my own personal values are a result of some recent encounters that I've had just this past week with some very inspiring art and inspiring teachings given by inspiring members of our human species who identify closely with our common ancestry. The songs and paintings that I witnessed this week are devoted to remembering that every human child belongs here on the earth. and deserves all the support that they can get to stay here in safety and in good health for as long as they live, and in whatever form they choose to appear.

[06:47]

So the inspired art, which you can go see by yourselves, is at the DeYoung Museum right now. Maybe some of you have already been. It was created by Kehinde Wiley, who has, his biography says, draws his own inspiration from a confluence. of Renaissance painting, Islamic architecture, African textile design, contemporary fashion, and urban hip-hop. An inspiration that results in heroic portraits of young, both African and African-American men and women that he has encountered on the streets of the cities where he has lived. Portraits that bring our attention, meaning white people like me, to the pervasive lack of a dignified representation of people of color in Western art. So spending time with these paintings and sculptures was very much like spending time in this endo, or in a church, or a synagogue, or a mosque.

[07:51]

It felt like sacred space for contemplating our human capacity for the conjoined twins of great love and great sorrow. A sacred love that leaves no one, and no thing out, just like reality itself, all-inclusive. So the other textural piece that has influenced me this morning also took place earlier this week on Juneteenth, Monday Juneteenth, when I, along with just about every minister, priest, imam, and rabbi from every denomination in Marin, had gathered at the senior center in Marin City for a prayer breakfast. The message that morning and the message this morning and the message that the confluence of the great rivers has been trying to spread is a simple one. Stop hating each other. Stop lusting after each other and each other's stuff. And stop living a life of ignorance born of delusion.

[08:55]

I can remember years ago when I was on the board of the Marin Interfaith Council, listening to the prayers and the teachings of the different traditions that were represented by the other people on the board. They were very lovely people, each and every one of them, devoting their lives, as many of us have, to their faith traditions. And yet what struck me most about the growing friendship with one another was not our like-mindedness. We were not like-minded. But it was our like-heartedness. Just like that confluence is calling out to us to find the great love, the great wisdom, and the great effort that it's going to take to find our way home together. So since most of you have probably heard quite a lot about the Buddha's teaching, offered most succinctly by the Dalai Lama as a religion of kindness, what I want to share with you today comes from the other direction, from the well of inspirations of our dear neighbors,

[10:03]

in the Abrahamic tradition, the Jews, the Christians, and the Muslims, who no doubt would agree that they, at their best and in their highest values, are like-hearted and devoted to kindness. So the particular version of that kindness that I have come to learn more about in the last few months is from the Quaker tradition, which, like Zen, has made its own unique interpretation of the wisdom and compassion teachings of their founders. So in looking at the shared values of our two ancient traditions, what I was particularly struck by is a basic tenet. That each and every one of us is a spiritual being. We Buddhists call it our inherent Buddha nature. The Quakers call it our inner light. Once we humans have accepted that premise that everyone is inherently equal, there naturally follows what many wise humans have done over centuries.

[11:03]

they form intentional communities of like-hearted people, just as the Quakers and the Zen Buddhists are doing together right now. Both of our spiritual communities, as they are being formulated today, are based in the spirit of inclusion and in cultures of diversity, a culture of diversity that has become more and more inclusive in its views. As each of us widens our own personal lens to see who or what we have been leaving out, who or what has been marginalized, and how. I think we're all aware of the disturbing news about the most current dangerous uptick and hatred against other people, in particular toward those who are beginning to question the imposed cultural standards for their own gender identity. This targeting of the trans community is adding to the long list of those already historically hounded out of clubs, housing, and jobs both in this country and throughout the world.

[12:14]

Women and girls, people of color, indigenous people, Jews and Muslims and Christians, gays and lesbians, the elderly, the poor, and those who are physically or mentally ill. the very people that both Jesus and Buddha said we are here to serve. As a young girl in grammar school, I was only allowed to wear skirts and dresses. Same in high school. Our skirt hams were measured by the dean of girls to ensure they were below our knees. Once I arrived at San Francisco State at the age of 18, my own sense of who I am, who I love, and how I choose to appear, leapt out of the closet and will never return. So I was deeply moved to read among the Quaker values that we welcome all cultures, backgrounds, and difference in an environment that promotes mutual respect, acceptance, cooperation, and teamwork.

[13:19]

In other words, they welcome me. And that's very important to me. And they also welcome all of you. And as a Buddhist, that's even more important. So these values for the Quakers are not based in some belief or truth, but rather on a set of goals that they refer to as testimonies, abbreviated by the acronym SPICES, S-P-I-C-E-S. And those spices fit very nicely with Buddhist values. And they are simplicity, peace, integrity, community, equality, and stewardship. The Quakers tell us that theirs is a way of life rather than a set of beliefs. And that every day is sacred. Or as we say, every day is a good day. They say a life led in service of good deeds is a good life.

[14:23]

We say doing good. Avoiding evil and living for the benefit of others is essential to the salvation of humanity. Since the Quakers arrived in America from Europe in the 1650s, they have upheld these fundamental values, and as a result inspired many in this country toward pacifism, as well as playing a key role over the centuries in both the abolitionist, women's rights, and civil rights movements. One particular value that I have experienced since joining with a group of friends who are helping to set up a resident council for all of us who will soon be living together at Enso Village is the practice of listening carefully to every voice. The so-called truth can come from any person present at any meeting. The priority for each of our meetings is to truly stay connected, to stay in relationship with one another, as challenging at times as that may be.

[15:24]

So it's not me or one of them that has the best answer. The best answer arises from the light that's already there within the gathering itself, just like now. The all-inclusive us. The best decision is the one that will serve the whole, both inside and outside the boundaries of this community or this city or this country. As I've often said to the new students here at Green Gulch, Green Gulch isn't my community or your community. It's our community. We have a farm and a bakery. We have a zendo and a maintenance shed. We care for this land and for each other together. We are Green Gulch Farm. And whatever we are is for the benefit of everyone. We don't vote. There are no winners or losers at the end of a meeting. and our meetings take a very long time.

[16:28]

A good outcome is when all the participants feel that they are part of something larger than themselves, much larger, like this planet and its precious resources, both human and more than human. The third great river of life itself, of reality itself, all-inclusive. As our founder Dogen Zenji says in the Sutra of Mountains and Rivers, It is not only that there is water in the world, there are worlds in the world of water. And it is not only in water that such worlds exist. There are worlds of sentient beings in clouds. There are worlds of sentient beings in wind. There are worlds of sentient beings in fire. There are worlds of sentient beings in earth. There are worlds of sentient beings in the world of Dharma. There are worlds of sentient beings in the stalk of grass. And there are worlds of sentient beings in a Dharma staff. Wherever there are worlds of sentient beings, the world of Buddha ancestors inevitably exists in that place.

[17:34]

So in other words, the world of nature is the universe showing its true form. To look at nature, to look at all of you in this room right now, is to look at the truth itself. Everything we see and are is the true form. of Buddha, of awakening? Is the mountains and rivers preaching the sutras? And I would bet that the Quakers would agree with that. And still we need to ask our all-too-human selves, how do we find our way into seeing and then doing what we know is right? As all the world's religions well know, it is not so easy. Seeing or doing what is right, Practicing what we preach is not so easy. So how to see and do what is right was the primary instruction that our founder, our founding ancestor, Dogen Zenji, gave to his students once he had answered his own burning question about that inner light or Buddha nature that both the Buddhists and the Quakers have assured us is there, or rather here, right here, inside each and every one of us.

[18:52]

The inner light is what we use to see ourselves and to reflect on whether or not our actions are aligning with our own values. Seeing ourselves and feeling the impact of our actions on others is not something any of us does easily. One of our basic instincts is to protect ourselves from what feels like a criticism or, in the extreme case, an attack. Another of the values that the Quakers and the Buddhists share is finding a way to live that takes away the occasion for violence. Fighting among humans doesn't solve problems, it only causes suffering. At the same time, we need to learn skills that allow us to include conflict, the resolution of which can help us both as a community and as individuals to grow and to thrive. One of the criticisms that I would level against my own beloved community, the San Francisco Zen Center, would be a tendency among us for conflict aversion.

[19:57]

I've been to many workshops offered here over the years that have been about conflict resolution, resulting in a document soon to be official and posted on our website called Conflict, Complaint, and Ethical Review Processes, at the top of which it says... The health of our community is measured by our willingness and our ability to find effective, responsible, and compassionate means of resolving interpersonal conflict, as well as tensions arising from violations of community guidelines. San Francisco Zen Center seeks to respond wisely and compassionately to all difficulties that arise by fully addressing the suffering of all concerned. Informed by Buddhist practice, This means valuing dialogue over silence, reconciliation over estrangement, forgiveness over resentment, confession over accusation, and atonement over punishment to the greatest extent possible.

[21:05]

So of the many elements in our effort to resolve conflict, one of the useful tools that I was offered came from a workshop given at Google to its employees. I'm going to share it with you. So what I took away from that viewing was a four-square diagram, like you try to imagine four squares, that helped me to understand the underlying structure that dominates our Zen Center, at least in my view. So the diagram, as I said, four squares, there's a vertical line representing cares for people. Down here, not at all. Up here, tremendously. And then there's a horizontal line representing direct communication. Over here, not at all. Over here, extensively. Got that so far? So in the bottom two squares, don't care for people. If a manager or a crew head doesn't appear to care for people, on the left is insincere manipulation, meaning without any direct communication.

[22:16]

For example, talking behind someone's back. Or asking someone else to tell them something. And then to the other side is obnoxious aggression. With lots of direct communication of the sort none of us appreciates hearing. Yelling, throwing things, insult, sarcasm, and so on. That doesn't care much for people. So above the line... where we do care about people. I think we find, I believe we find Zen Center there, and probably most of you there. We do care for people. We even take vows to care for people. The only missing piece is how we do that. To the top corner, on one side, not much communication, is ruinous empathy, which made me cringe in recognition. Ruinous empathy occurs when caring for people is missing direct communication, or what we commonly call timely feedback, job reviews, reflections, criticism, or critique.

[23:27]

This last one, critique, is my own personal favorite. It's taken from the art world. And a critique is given to others to help improve the art form with the consent of the artist. Whether it's dancing or music, cooking, gardening, drawing or Soto Zen ritual. On the other side, the last square is called radical candor. And it's that one that I think we are all in need of cultivating. Radical candor in a Buddhist context is given kindly and in a timely fashion. Part of the skill of engaging in radical candor has to do with a deep sensitivity for the feelings of others along with a deep wish to benefit them. One of the tenants of radical candor is when offering a critique to someone who you are teaching or managing, any negative comments are given privately. For example, we don't wear shoes in the Zendo. I have given in a whisper to a person wearing shoes in the Zendo.

[24:28]

On the other hand, when the critique is positive, you give it publicly and out loud. For example, thank you, Timo, and the senior staff for taking such good care of us during COVID. So this simple diagram has been encouraging to me as a way of reframing how we can best form a community that feels safe enough and welcoming enough for all of us, not only to learn, but to thrive. Radical kindness and warm-hearted candor freed from malice of any kind. There's a phrase that I heard when listening online to the presentation by two elders of the Quaker community that they call holding in the light. which also resonated for me as a shared value. Each of us as equal members of our communities has a responsibility to hold one another in the light, to be aware and responsive to the situation that we are in, and to offer whatever support we can to one another.

[25:31]

One of the students here told me the other day that they were literally moved to tears as they were driving one of the farm vehicles toward a gate in the garden. And another student who was walking nearby without being asked opened the gate, waited, and then closed it again once the vehicle had gone through. It's no big deal. Or a very big deal. Each of us gets to decide. One of my own fondest memories from the years I spent at Tassajara took place in the kitchen where I had been assigned to be a guest cook for the summer season. The work was real work, and the days were real long, and everyone was really busy with the task. I had lifted up a heavy soup pot to transfer the contents into another big pot, and at the very moment that I realized I needed a long-handled spatula, one appeared right over my right shoulder, as if by magic, which it truly was.

[26:38]

The magician's name was Brian. and he has indelibly entered into my heart as a caring friend. Brian was a person who was very quiet most of the day, shy and self-effacing. And yet to me, he was awake in the only way that really matters, caring for others. The last story I want to share this morning has to do with my first conscious encounter with my new best friends, the Quakers. I had seen the movie Friendly Persuasion as a teenager, maybe some of you have as well, with Gary Cooper as a Quaker elder, and the challenge he and his family as pacifists and abolitionists were faced with during the American Civil War. And then a number of years later, when I had been at Zen Center for about maybe eight or ten years, I was asked to go back east to live with an elderly woman that our former abbot had been taking care of by sending students to live with her.

[27:40]

a year as an assistant her home in old westbury on the north shore of long island had once been part of the whitney estate one among many huge estates on the east coast established during the founding centuries of our country what was left of the whitney estate when i arrived was a golf course with its repurposed mansion as the clubhouse the elderly woman i was sent to care for had purchased the carriage house of the estate which is a lovely modest home built a century and a half ago when the entire estate was a single family residence on my days off i enjoyed taking the car and going shopping which included a lot of driving around the back roads of old westbury trying to figure out where i was and what had gone on and since the founding of this area in the 17th century and what happened here most of the roads ended in a dead end, with signs reading private property.

[28:42]

And then an even larger yellow sign every now and then with a huge black arrow pointing to New York City. Go home. So during one of my outings, I happened across a small village green with modest homes around the perimeter, including a few shops, a library, a bookstore, and a pharmacy. So I was really curious about this odd little town in the middle of one of the wealthiest suburbs still in America. So I went into the bookstore and I asked the kind lady, where am I? And she said, you are in a traditional Quaker settlement. So like that spatula coming over my right shoulder, the site of that village has not been forgotten. All these years later. And I find myself opening warmly to the values and lifestyle of these gentle farmers and shopkeepers who have held to their own faith and values like oysters clinging to the rocks above the rising sea. So to end, I want to share a short poem about oysters by Dogen Zenji.

[29:50]

Go Kyo-gei Betsuten. Intuitive Awakening Outside of the Teaching. like an oyster washed atop a high cliff, even waves crashing against it, a reefy coast like words, may reach but cannot wash it away. The Dharma, like an oyster washed atop a high cliff, even waves crashing against the reefy coast like words, may reach but cannot wash it away. Thank you very much.

[30:58]

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