I have to shuffle during the class. And while you're doing... Also do a reminder... I got a note. Well, let's not connect that. Let's just do the business part first. Those of you who have been taking or using actually some of the books that are up here from the library, the way we'd like to do that is for you to return the book after you use it in study. In other words, don't wrap it in your... suit your cloths and don't take it away out of the room. Just during study, go ahead, take the book, bring it back, read it if you want to, and then return it to the table.

[01:08]

I think you've been doing that, right? Does anybody have? Oh, I don't need to know that. I think you've been doing that, and if you haven't been doing that, then do that. Oh, you can share. I mean, I doubt it's the kind of thing that you're going to want to take home anyway. And we can make more. If you really want one, we can make more. So put that aside for a moment, and let's do something else for a sec. Today we are going to talk a little bit about mental factors, so I thought we could slip very easily from mental factors into how to practice with emotions, which I think are not really so different from mental factors anyway.

[02:17]

So I wanted to share with you two things that happened to me recently, a good example. One is the success, maybe you can say, and the other one was the massive failure. both happen to us, and in both, we want to remember that basically, no matter what happens in our practice, we have to maintain, it'd be good anyway, if we can maintain some connection with our heart center. Let's not forget that no matter what it is that we are doing in our practice, fundamentally underneath it, we do have this open, you know, pumping, beating heart that's in there all the time. And if we can just get underneath a barrier that we sometimes put up, it's there and we can feel it and we can feel it for ourself. And we need to be in touch with it for ourself because practice is not so easy.

[03:23]

It takes a lot of determination and courage. And I was going to say faith, but For a while, a lot of us don't have faith. So it's important, because sometimes we fall down, and now we need to get up. And it helps us get up. To know that we're actually perfect just the way we are. We're just trying to get out of the... Well, what my mind did was went to, you know, when a lotus comes up in a pond, there are all of this stuff in the pond that cling on to the lotus all around the stuff. And then, of course, my mind went right away. That's the only way I think that you possibly couldn't have made it out of the pond, you know, something with just holding them in there. I don't know. Anyway, so I got a note the other day, and the note, I thought, accused me...

[04:25]

in a sort of a subtle but definite way that I got, that I had done something, that accused me of doing something that I hadn't done. And when we get accused of something we haven't done, our self comes up very often right there, because I was innocent. I was right. I didn't do this thing that I was being accused of. And I resented it a lot. And I got mad. I didn't want to be... And not only that, it was communicated to other people. Worse. Really bad. So not only didn't I want to be thought of in that way, I didn't want these other people to think of me that way. I have a certain image that I like to maintain. And I've been trying to maintain this image at Zen Center for years.

[05:27]

And they just won't let me keep it. I think it's an image of myself that I'm really not, anyway, in the first place. I think this other image that I am is okay, you know, the one that I actually am. But I keep trying to maintain this other thing that I'm not, anyway. But anyway. There's everyone over here. You want to really say none of them? So there I was, being accused in front of a jury, and I didn't even have a chance to talk about my side of the issue. So I got angry, and I called this person, and I left. I didn't get angry over the phone. I must say, I held myself back. But I did make it clear that I disagreed with what had happened, that person's interpretation of what had happened.

[06:30]

So then I kind of breathed and breathed and breathed, and I was just feeling myself be angry and so on and so forth, let go of it, and other things happened during the day and so on. But then when I was sitting at night, it came back, and I was glad it came back, because that particular sitting, and they're always different, but for me that particular sitting was very wide and had a lot of space. And so this event bubbled up, and I didn't even think about it or anything like that. It just came by, but it diffused itself in this big space. And so when I got up from sitting, all of the ideas and holding on to and not wanting to talk to this person all about it and wanting to send letters all over the place and make sure that other people didn't think about being that way dissipated. And when that happened, of course, then I said, now I can actually, I'm open enough to not to try to tell the other person with the right point of view, but to actually hear what that person had to say and what it was about what I had done that probably hurt that person and try to understand it from that person's point of view.

[07:44]

I was perfectly ready to do that because I didn't have a me to defend at that point. So that was like a success story, although I haven't had the meeting yet, so I don't know the end of the story. But at least I'm really, I'm really ready to have the meeting. I'm not holding a grudge or anything. Now I'll tell you the failure that we had. So on day off, I ride a bike, bicycling my exercise. So... On a day off, I took my little bike, and I started biking, and I was riding, I was pedaling up Market Street, to the top of Market Street, going down the other side, Potrero, I think. And so I was pedaling along, and everything was going really fine. And you know, a bike, you can't, when you ride a bike, you're supposed to be like a car. You get to have a lane. Because if you ride too far over to the right, and then somebody opens the door, which...

[08:48]

They do, including myself. I never turn around and look to see if a bike is coming, if I'm going to open the door. So the bike person has to really be looking and stay far enough away from the doors so that if they open a door, you can ride right by. Scream at them for not looking. So anyway, I'm at the top of the hill, and I start going down the other side of the hill. And I'm pedaling pretty fast. I mean, I'm going down the hill, after all, and I'm pedaling long. third gear, and I hear behind me something big coming behind me. So okay, I still maintain my thing, I'm pedaling along, and then the thing behind me gets really big and it begins to get closer, and it feels to me like it's going to be passing me. So it's this really big truck, this really, really big truck, and right when it gets next to me, right exactly next to me, it smashes on its horn. And I'm, you know, scared.

[09:50]

And because it's scary, it's really big. And it was a surprise. And adrenaline, I mean, even now I'm having adrenaline. So adrenaline started happening and stuff like that. And now here's my stupidity. So the truck, you know, continues on down the road. And I'm going downhill. I'm shaking now. And I'm going downhill. And of course, I am having now all this energy. So what do I do with all the energy? I start putting it in the bike. And I'm racing down the hill to catch up with the truck. I'm on a bike. Yeah. It goes through one light and it's green and I do get through that light and it's green and I see him down ahead and there's something in the back of my mind that says, you know, T.S.

[10:59]

Not loud enough, but that's why. So the guy turns right. So I turn right. And the guy stops. because he's unloading some stuff, you know. And I pedal right up to the door, his door, and he's, you know, up there. And I, you know, roll down the window. He rolled down the window. And... I can be really bad sometimes. My brother has been... I'm supposed to be, you know, I've been sitting all these years and stuff like that. And when I'm with my brother, I always think of my brother as a person who kind of, you know... gets hysterical and stuff. But actually, it's me. I'm the one. When we're together, he's the one that always stays calm. I'm the one that kind of pops off. I did that once when he and I were walking. He stepped off a curb, and there was a policeman in front of us stopping people from going across the street, going to the Olympics.

[12:04]

And he touched my brother. My brother and I are very protective of each other. He touched my brother, and I almost exploded at the policeman. And my brother is standing there. He's bigger than I am. He's standing there like this. I was very angry when I grew up. I was ragefully angry. So I have that in me to be... I have to be careful. Which I wasn't with this chart. So anyway, so he rolls down his window. I start... trying to explain to him that, you know, when you pass a bicycle like that and beat the horn, it's really dangerous because the bike can get really scared and if you're scared and holding onto the thing, you turn the front of it, you just go over, either away or toward the truck, it's really dangerous. So I was beginning to say that with that kind of energy, well, of course he didn't hear what I was saying, he just was feeling the energy of what was happening and so he started yelling, I was yelling. He started yelling back at me, and so there we were, right in the middle of the street, yelling at each other about, neither one of us hearing what was going on.

[13:16]

Anyway, so, and then I did a very cool thing. I don't know if I should tell you. It was really unkind. Have you? Okay. Okay. But this was unkind. This was really not nice. I'll confess to you. So we were arguing, and he came back down, and I forgot exactly what the altercation thing of it was. But anyway, he was standing really close to me, and I said to him, because he was, this is hard to tell you. Ugh. Anyway, so we were having this argument, and then I wasn't winning, you know? He wasn't hearing me. So then I said to him, I said, well, what kind of man are you, anyway? Very unkind.

[14:19]

Because what happened was he immediately stopped. You know, I really, I really, it was not, it was not part of even the disagreement, you know, it was definitely, um, appropriate. Anyway, he stopped and I stopped and then it was over and of course for me it wasn't over because I felt horrible. There was just nothing good about that experience and it stayed with me for a while and what happened was that the next meditation, thank God that we did so much. The next meditation, what I did with that was it came up and there was no way for me to rectify that event. I had done something and let something out into the world that was not helpful and maybe even hurtful a little bit. And so what I needed to do was metta, which I did. And I sent him metta and I sent me metta as much as I possibly could.

[15:29]

And that let me release me. You know, I confessed and I repented and I tried my best to take care of it and hopefully won't ever do that again. And that's how that went. So the reason why I'm telling you this is because we are now at a place in our text where he lists a whole bunch of mental factors. which I think we should go over. Before we do that, let me draw your attention up here. This is a teaching from this fellow, Thalopa, who I like a lot.

[16:31]

He's in the lineage of the Karma Kargyu. which is Trungpa's lineage, who I studied with a little bit. And they would always tell me their lineage. It goes, Thalopa, Naropa, Marpa, Milarepa, and Gampopa. Thalopa was a city in India. And this is what he told his disciple, Naropa. He said, don't think, no thought, no reflection, No analysis. No cultivation. No intention. Let it settle itself. You're talking about the mind, obviously. That's it. You know? Don't think about it. Don't make up stories about it. You don't have to analyze it. Don't make it better. Don't intend anything.

[17:32]

Just let it settle itself. Yes? He's talking about wisdom practice. That was the other story. For me, it's really important to do both. I can't always just do the wisdom side. I get caught, so I do the heart side a lot. You need to know where you are. You can't just always do the wisdom side. You do the wisdom side when you have strength of mind to do that, but if there's something to take care of, if you're caught, then do the other side. Think about it any way that you want.

[18:40]

But we need both, both of them. All right, let's do this a little bit. So this is a kind of a quick summary of where we are now. Although, you know, you guys can feel in this is a very skeletal kind of thing. So what happens is our mind comes up with a natural event. It's a natural event that gives us the ending in feeling itself and other and then grabbing onto one or the other or both. We have contact with something. It's an image in our mind. We do a best guess label which comes with old stuff. we have a sense of self and other, and then we grasp on and make that sense of self and other real.

[19:44]

And Buddha said that was not a problem. What the problem with that is, is that we... Well, the problem is here, you know, that we actually grab onto, we attach to it and make it real. So, what... How are the ways that we... rebuild this sense of self. We do it over and over and over and over again. We rebuild it with our belief systems and assumptions. I'm right. The truck driver should not have beeped his horn and should have known that I was well within my to be exactly where I was on the street. I believe in Buddhism.

[20:50]

I believe in... I think I know what practice is. I believe in America. I believe in... I'm having trouble thinking of relief. But loss of assumption. I assume that anybody who has dark skin, if they're a man and walking down the street, are a danger to me. How do you like that one? That's taught to us. We need to know these. We really do. And it's just exactly what I was saying before. It's not that the thought that comes up in our mind is necessarily... Wrong, we're taught it. It's a conditioned event. But if we believe it and act from it, we cause tremendous amount of suffering for ourselves and everybody else. Projections are another way that we have and solidify ourselves.

[21:53]

Whatever it is about me that I really can't bear, I project onto somebody else and then I hate them for it. I used to hate the part of myself that was weak and dependent. Couldn't stand it. Couldn't stand it. Didn't believe it. I wasn't that kind of person. And I used to really hurt people who were like that. I really, really, it was really awful. I'm better at it. Not perfect, but better. At least I know I have to be careful. Identification. When you have an experience, your mind talks to yourself all the time, all day long. It's telling you who you are, what you're doing, whether or not it's interesting. Maybe this is something I can tell to somebody else. Whatever kind of dramas I have, I'm definitely going to share with other people.

[22:54]

We recreate ourselves through stories all the time, all day long. We're constantly telling ourselves who we are. And then once we have an image of who we are, we are defensive about it, like I was when I got that note. I try to defend who it is that I think I am. And then the last way is, for this set of things anyway, is actually believing everything, believing the belief system, believing the projections, believing the identifications with the stories, believing that you need to be defensive about your image and so on. We rebuild it over and over again. You can make your own list.

[23:58]

This is what I do. Everything. Yeah, she did. That's also a way to practice, but this is the fundamental recommendation that I've been reading to you over and over and over again. I have another thing I brought, just in case you didn't believe me. See, you forgot already. I'm going to read you another one. So what do we do about this? Well, this is basic. The first thing we have to do is be present. So some of us... or just simply for the next week and a half or however much we have left, are just working on being present. No matter what happens, the practice is to let go of whatever it is. If you can, if you can't, then remember me.

[24:59]

Let go of it and come back to the body and breath. Just be here. Yeah? I've got a question. Because when you're really sitting and you're really there and you're really present, there's no separation self and other, there's no intention, there's no body to intend, there's no intention needing to be made. But first of all, it takes quite an intention to keep saying that you don't intend... He's also saying, let it settle itself. It sounds like a really, really long process. He doesn't believe in the personal closet or empty closet. No, that's right. The point is to not... Depends on what stage you are.

[26:03]

You've got to be present. You have to develop... See, the mind, usually when we begin, the habit of the mind is to flit away. So what we're trying to do... over and over again for years is to re-habituate the mind, and then eventually the habit of the mind is to be present. So whenever a thought comes up, instead of the mind running with the thought, the very nature of the thought coming up, the mind immediately returns the present. It becomes the habit of the mind to return to the present moment. At that time, the instruction is to do nothing. Let the mind do its own work. It's already... perfectly aware all by itself. We just have to get out of the way. So you don't have to do any practices and so and so forth. You just have to let it settle itself. I beg your pardon? Are you the fox?

[27:04]

Are you the fox in sheep's clothing? You know, that's what we're talking about, because you said that on the one hand, there's, you know, that we're finished, that we're always out of function, you know, et cetera. You know, then we're talking about non-intentional practice, and I don't think that was put together, you know, from the primary perspective, no way to do this except that. And I don't believe that anyone could ever actually sit down and use all kinds we have to always remember that two things the two truths have to be there all the time so let's just let me try to take one thing at a time you know my mind I can't remember I have something to say about it so I want

[28:10]

But I wanted to do it one thing at a time. Say you'll remember. Tell me slowly what each thing and I want to respond. Oh, this is one thing I wanted to say. I know you'll remember it. One thing is we... Darn, it's just amazing. You know, I have to share this with you because now I can't escape it. I just stopped taking hormone replacement therapy and the change in my mind is just... I can't remember a thing. I'm kind of enjoying it. Because it puts me in touch with the life force leaving. But I'm in actual touch with it. It's awesome. I wanted to say something I thought was really important.

[29:14]

Say just what you said again, maybe I'll come back. Oh, that's what I want to say. At every moment it's true we're conditioned. It's also true that in each moment there's free will, and that's why in Buddhism it's not fatalistic. So at each moment we do have choice. So for example, so then continue on, go ahead. Well, let's see. When a person is truly without the self of the separation, one's life comes up in an appropriate response to lifeness, at that time it may very well be appropriate to sit down.

[30:22]

The person is not going to be a vegetable. We do make choices and we don't ignore karma. It's just that the karma is not coming from a self at that time. So a person like that has the intention, it seems to me, to live to benefit all being. If the appropriate response, then, like, let's say they live in a practice place or whatever, the bell rings, the appropriate response at that time is going to be to go sit-sahs, and they're not going to have to, you know, do a whole bunch of intending about it. That's just what will come out of the appropriate situation. Maybe that's so. Because compassion... comes out of a mind that is not self-reflecting all the time. It's just that space. The activity of wisdom is what looks like compassion to us.

[31:24]

But it's that person's natural way of responding. I think so. Yeah. Well, I guess I'm not going to get a bit of beer. Can you just throw in? Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. I mean, I just want to know that. It's good.

[32:44]

So let's get back to this because we need to get to like 18 today. Oh, I'm sorry. Well, it's not about your attention. It's about who you are. and the fact that we're already Buddha. We're trying to find out how they've done it. We're trying to find out how they've done it. So it doesn't require a mental engagement of the tension. It's already there to move on. That's how I can... That's bodhicitta going back to bodhicitta. After we acknowledge that our resistance or whatever is there, then we sink right into the body.

[33:59]

Physical sensations. Suzuki Roshi said that all we're ever going to have to know is in the body. I kind of think it's true. So go down to body sensations. Breathe, relax, breathe, breathe, relax, wait, breathe, wait, wait, wait. Don't grab on. It passes. It will all pass. It's all changing. It's a big fluid event. Unless you grab on, it will not stay. Sometimes grab on and wait. It feels like I'm active. Or almost like just waiting for people. Waiting for someone to feel like... Okay, then know which one it is. It's averting, then go to averting. Breathe, breathe. Then, when you're settled enough to feel it in the body, to wait and you're open, then see if you can turn toward the I, who is so-called having the experience, the feeling, whatever it is.

[35:13]

Let your awareness be aware of the watcher, basically. But do you have a sense of you having the experience? Who is that? Well, if it's not, then what's happening is experiencing.

[36:28]

There's not an experience there. There's not a watcher watching it, which is fine. That means it's just life happening all by itself. That's fine. But if you have a sense of somebody having that experience, watching that experience, then there is a separation of watcher and experience. And you want to just be aware of that. Don't put your attention. There is just attending happening. We do not have to put our attention anywhere. It's not our attention anyway. It's just attending happening. It's just attending. That's the whole point. There's no me having the emotion. There's no me having the thought. Remember we said the other day that now these things that arise are now possessed? That's The feeling of it. It's my thought, my emotion, my feeling, my awareness. Okay? A bunch of characteristics that you have grabbed onto and labeled me.

[37:48]

That's what we're talking about. There's a sense of you, a sense of identity. That sense is okay, but as soon as you grab onto it and think that all of those characteristics are a someone in there, look for that someone. See if you can find it in those characteristics. There's nobody there. There's just characteristics going on all by themselves. Don't believe me. Go look. No, it doesn't. No, it does not. That's exactly the point. You don't need your identification with a separate you to do any of that stuff. You know, it's very interesting. That's what people always say. This is a very interesting point.

[38:52]

I don't know exactly how to explain it to you exactly. The sense of the mind is good at mathematics. Can I tell a little bit about the note that you left me the other day? I enjoyed it so much. I hope I don't embarrass you. David is a mathematician. And we were talking. And I asked him one time what... what concept, you know, comes up in your mind, you know. And for anybody else, they would have said, you know, me or anger or jealousy or something like that. He said five. It was so cute. And then, and then on the note that he left me, on top of another note, he said, he said, four plus one equals five. 8 minus 3 is 5. 2 plus 3 is 5. It's everywhere.

[39:54]

It's great. Anyway, the mind is good for that kind of stuff. It's good for that. It's good for knowing it has to make a plane reservation. It's good for saying that this is a chair. Okay? That's all pretty much it's good at. The... I don't know exactly how to explain it except to say that you don't need to self-reference. Life comes toward us all the time. All you have to do is respond. You don't have to be thinking all of these extra things. I'm going to read you something from this book maybe. Do you understand what I'm saying at all? It doesn't, you don't need it. It seems like the main meaning. Yeah, the Buddha never railed against the natural event that brings yourself in a sense of identity, sense of separation.

[40:59]

He only said that it's not inherently existing. It's not separate from anything. It's not substantial. Don't grab onto it. Don't think of it as a separate me. That's what he's talking about. Don't be attached to this image about the way you want people to see you. Right. Right. There's no fixed self. Right. No. And then, based on separation, we become afraid of everything that we think of as other, which is everything, including our bodies and everything else.

[42:16]

And as soon as that fear comes up, we begin to do all of these grabbings of things that will make us feel safe and pushing away things that make us feel unsafe and so on. And the whole thing starts happening. Yeah, in a way, you could take it that way, yeah. No. Yeah, you can think of it that way. It's like, I realize there's a way it's going to come about creating our lives. I'm going to get to that. You know, what I'm hearing you guys say which is kind of interesting to me is that you're afraid

[43:47]

of really believing that there's nobody running anything, that you're afraid you're not going to be able to make your plane, you're afraid you're not going to be able to do philosophy, you're afraid that you're not going to be able to have lunch. So lots of hands. Can we stay a little longer? I really want to get at least to 16. Okay. Let's just go quickly around the room and see. Well, I think that's a legitimate concern.

[44:59]

We do have karma together, and it would be nice if we didn't have to, the worst of it didn't have to let out the worst of it, but look at, in ignorance, In a certain kind of, may I say, mostly in ignorance, the world is being run and decisions are being made. And we all, as one body, as one body, we will live out that karma. It's a tragedy. Huge tragedy. The suffering of the world. But it's ours. Everybody's together. That part. We share the karma of the time. So let's keep going. Yeah? Yes, that's called Zen sickness. That's when you have an experience of emptiness and you think that that's the truth and then you get caught in that for a while.

[46:01]

People get caught in that a long time. It's really easy to get caught in that and it's a real problem because it's very hard to wake somebody up from that kind of stuckness because it's so pleasant. And they think they really know, and they do know something very important, but it's not the end of the truth. Good. What happens is it looks like the Italian problem. Somehow, you know, the process, yeah, the process is, you know, brain, not well understood in the problem.

[47:05]

It's a small fluctuation towards . So that's what we started talking about, the virtual capital. And it's really like saying you put something on the hurricane, too. Thank you. [...]

[48:10]

Yes, and I would recommend that for those of you who want to take it up to actually go and look to see if you can find anything other than the skandhas in there running anything. Yeah. Is that... What we're looking at... What we're studying... Exactly. Exactly. That's very true. You have to really know about the self before you can let it go.

[49:14]

Really. Because it's in the blank parts that we don't know about, the parts that are not illuminated, that we get caught, that all the problems come from. So you want to know all about the self, your particular self, as much as possible. My whole life, I've always had my mom and everything about my life, like every decision that I did when I ate. When I go away with all my faith, and recently I quit my job, I got this job. And so I didn't even, like for a couple of weeks, I couldn't get out of bed enough to know who I was at all. Yeah, I still don't know, but it's easier than . But like, what's also interesting is that all of the people in my life don't know me what they're saying. Now it's like, I don't know if you, because I'm not, you make me feel like I'm done.

[50:22]

I don't know if you make me die either. So, it's a weird way of like, you know, connecting with that, that it's both created. And I'm trying to make it hard. I mean, but that's like a lot of advice. like I'm able to act as a therapy, too. Like it's scary for other people. I feel like how much myself often works for other people's self and holding back and just trying to like come to my home. What is it that you're doing? Like why don't you do yourself again? Mm-hmm. This is a good example of... The flip side of that, actually. That's an example of one side, the delusion side.

[51:25]

The flip side of that is that when a person meets another person who doesn't have this image self, then it's very simple because it wouldn't make any difference that you're no longer this or that or the other thing. One person who's... doesn't matter if there's this, that, or the other thing, meets another person who doesn't matter if it's this, that, or the other thing, and then when you come together and meet, something is created out of that meaning. And then that's what you enjoy. So, one side is very much separation, and the other side is not. I want to say on what Jason said, I'm talking about the mirror, a lot of things that's like, willing dreams is the right that the people I'm talking about. That's exactly correct.

[52:43]

They just bubble up. Like Blanche said the other day, like a stomach bubbles up, digestive juices, the mind bubble up thoughts. Exactly the same. I was talking about there's no executive making this decision. It's like the pentacle rises. It goes back and forth. If you look at the whole world, you see, you know,

[53:47]

that everything arises. So it's the same right here as it is in any place. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's right. I want to read something here. Sure. I've been asked, let's see... This is from Everyday Zen Joko Beck.

[54:54]

I was going to read you what she had to say about emotions and feelings, but instead I'm going to read something and what she says about practice and the observer and not having one. I'm going to skip around a little bit, but... All the describable parts of what we call ourselves are limited. They are also linear. They come and go within a framework of time. But the observing self cannot be put in that category no matter how hard we try. That which observes cannot be found and cannot be described. These thoughts are not real, these emotion thoughts, but they are connected with sensations, the bodily feelings of contraction. All thoughts and emotions are impermanent, changing, empty.

[55:56]

All personally-centered thoughts and emotions are empty. When we realize this, we can abandon them. This space of wonder, when we do, very naturally, we enter a space of wonder. I have been asked, isn't observing a dualistic practice Because when we're observing something, because when we are observing, something is observing something else. This is the watcher that I've been talking about. But in fact, it's not dualistic. The observer or the watcher is empty. Instead of a separate observer, we should say there is just observing. There is no one that hears, there is just hearing. There is no one that sees, there is just seeing. But we don't quite grasp that.

[56:58]

If we practice hard enough, however, we learn that not only is the observer empty, but that which is observed is also empty. At this point, the observer or witness collapses. This is the final stage of practice. We don't need to worry about it. Why does the observer finally collapse? When nothing sees nothing, what do we have? Just the wonder of life. There is no one who is separated from anything. There is just life living itself, hearing, touching, seeing, smelling. This is the state of love or compassion. So the way of practice that I found to be the most effective is to increase the power of the observer. Whenever we get upset, we've lost it. We can't get upset if we are observing because the observer never gets upset. Nothing can't get upset. So if we can be the observer, we watch any drama with interest and affection but without being upset and without identifying it as me.

[58:07]

When we reach a stage where the witness is collapsing, we begin to know what life is. It's not some spooky thing, however. It just means that when I look at another person, I look at them. I don't add on 10,000 thoughts to what I'm seeing. And that is the space of compassion. We don't have to try to find it. It's our natural state when the ego is absent. So we need to have patience, not just during the intensive, but every day of our lives, to face this challenging task. meticulously to study all aspects of our life so that we can see their nature until the observer sees nothing when it looks out except life as it is in all its wonder. Our practice is to open our life like this more and more. That's what we are here on earth to do. I love the way she talks.

[59:21]

Observing your thoughts, experiencing your body instead of getting carried away by the fearful thoughts, feeling of contraction in your stomach as just tight muscles, grounding yourself in the midst of crisis. What makes life so frightening is that we let ourselves be carried away in the garbage of our whirling minds. We don't have to do that. Please sit well. In her, when you sit with Joko Beck, she has these four chants that are her, the four principle practice principles. And this is what they are. Caught in a self-centered dream. Us, okay. Only suffering. Holding to self-centered thoughts. Exactly the dream. Each moment, life as it is, the only teacher.

[60:25]

Being just this moment, compassion's way. So, let's tiptoe back to our text, which I feel I am... giving enough respect to here. We were on eight. We had just said that the third transformation is the acquisition of the six-fold object, in other words, grasping onto Eye, image, ear, image, sound, image, et cetera, et cetera.

[61:28]

Here's my other book. Oh, and then here's the part that I handed you out that list from. Because the next one says, the acquisition of the sixfold object is associated with wholesome psychological conditions. both universal and particular, and similarly with primary as well as secondary defilements. And that includes the threefold feeling. The threefold feeling is pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral. And then he goes on to list the different mental factors. Some are universal ones, the ones that he already spoke about in terms of alaya, contact, feeling, perception, volition, and attention. And then he lists a bunch of other ones, and that goes from 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15. And you can either just read them from the text, which is they are yearning, resolve, memory, concentration, wisdom, or particulars, confidence, shame, remorse, the triad consisting of absence of greed and so on, effort, diligence, nonviolence, or wholesome.

[62:48]

The primary defilements are, he says, lust, aversion, and confusion, which is greed, hate, and delusion. Then he goes on to say pride, view, and doubt. Furthermore, anger, enmity, hypocrisy, malice, envy, avarice, along with deception, fraudulence, self-esteem, violence, shamelessness, remorselessness, deceitfulness, stupidity, lack of confidence, sluggishness, indolence, forgetfulness, distraction, inattentiveness, worry, sloth, reflection, investigation. These are secondary defilements, the last two being twofold, which they can either be defiled or not defiled. So I just Xeroxed that list for you. This is a list of one translation. There are also other translations. There are also different numbers. But basically, you have it there. No, this is from, for heaven's sake.

[63:52]

What does it say? Compendium, that's what it is. Compendium? Compendium, the blue book? Yeah, but I think that's the old one. Yeah, that's it. So anyway, it's a comprehensive manual of Abhijama, and I think that we have one I'll bring it tomorrow, if you remind me, okay? Anyway, the universals, you can see, come up with all mind states. Then there are the next ones, the occasionals, they come up or they don't come up. And then there's a whole list of unwholesome factors, which are listed. And then the beautiful factors are the wholesome factors. And under the beautiful factors, you have here listed non-hatred and neutrality of mind, which are two of the Brahma Vaharas, non-hatred being loving-kindness and neutrality of mind being equanimity. And the other two are under illimitables, compassion and sympathetic joy.

[64:57]

He says appreciative joy. Anyway, these are lists, and if you want to go into them more thoroughly, then you have to go to the Abhidharma books and take a peek at them. They're interesting, and we can identify with them. How come there's not jealousy? Did he say jealousy? Somewhere? Is it in there? Envy. Yeah. Right, so you can pick your delusions. Okay, and then let's go to 15. The arising of the five forms of consciousness, which we know what they are, i.e. your nose consciousness, etc. Together or separately within the foundational consciousness is like waves in the water.

[65:58]

So... You know, it's not a solid thing. It's a flux. It keeps right on going, and it pops up all of these consciousnesses, and it influences them. It goes rushing on like a river. Is that okay? All right. And... The manifestation of mental consciousness takes place always except in the sphere of non-perception, the two attainments, those are the jhanas, and in the state of torpor occasioned by insensibility and the absence of thought. So, in other words, this stream of mental continuum keeps right on going unless you're really sick, if you're really, really concentrated, if you're unconscious, you know... Otherwise, it's there all the time. Now, I don't know if we should talk about number 17 today.

[67:01]

Maybe we should start with number 17 tomorrow. So what I'd like you to do, please, is take a peek at 17 because we want to know what it means. What has thus been thought of does not exist. That's a little bit difficult. Therefore, all this is mere concept. We want to make sure that we understand that in terms of... this particular interpretation anyway. And then you can look at 18 and 19. And we'll probably stop there, probably. Because then the next that comes are the three natures, and that'll take its own class, probably. So with that, I'll just remind you, just because... Some of you, like David, may have forgotten already. This is for you.

[68:02]

Oh, we have lots of Davids, huh? Is that all we wanted to do? This is from Anguttara Micaiah. Monks, whatever in this world is seen, heard, sensed, thought of, attained, sought after, pondered by the intellect, that do I know. Whatever in this world is seen, heard, sensed, cognized, attained, sought after, pondered by the intellect, that I directly know. That is known by the Buddha. Actually, he says Tathagata. Okay. That is known by the Tathagata, but the Tathagata has not been obsessed with it. Thus, monks, the Tathagata, when seeing what is to be seen, does not construe an object as seen.

[69:14]

He does not construe an unseen. In other words, he doesn't look for it to be empty. He does not construe an object to be seen. He does not construe a seer. When hearing, when seeing, and so on, when cognizing what is to be cognized, he does not construe an object as cognized. He does not construe an uncognized. He does not construe an object to be cognized. He does not construe a... Thus, monks, the Tathagata being such-like with regard to all phenomena that can be seen, heard, sensed, and cognized is, quote, such. And I tell you, there is no other such higher or more sublime. Whatever is seen or heard or sensed and fastened onto as true is

[70:20]

by others, one who is such among those who are self-bound would not further assume to be true or even false. Having seen well in advance that arrow where generations are fastened and hung, quote, I know, I see, that's just how it is There is nothing of the Tathagata fastened. We are at a time now where we've been sitting a lot, so we're sensitive. and our emotions are a little bit, you know, up at the top.

[71:22]

So please be gentle with yourselves, really gentle, and do your practice wherever it is and whatever it is you're practicing. If it means being present or practicing awareness or investigating or whatever it is, but do it with determination but gentleness. And let's keep going. And also, I really appreciate everybody coming to Zazen and being on time. I feel myself very supported with how it is that you guys are practicing. So let's keep going that way. Ciao.

[72:22]

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