This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzz.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. I wanted to begin with acknowledging that we are here together after experiencing, I mean, this is always the case, experiencing different things, different circumstances, situations, and this year in particular with

[01:00]

the fire and evacuations and fire crew trainings and all the people coming, some people from very far away to the practice period having their plans disrupted and changed. And I just wanted to thank you all for your flexibility and willingness to go with causes and conditions to accord with what was happening even though it wasn't so easy sometimes. And there may be more to metabolize and process together or internally about these months. But basically those causes and conditions are no longer here. They are impermanent as each appearance

[02:02]

And so we find ourselves in the 98th practice period. And I wanted to ask us all if we could practice letting go of certain concepts like short and long and almost and what did someone say? You know, a reasonable facsimile for practice period. Because... The practice period, the entry into the practice period does not really depend on how many days or in comparison to other practice periods you have done or didn't do. It's just now together practicing, entering fully the reality of our life here. without any comparison, it doesn't really compare this, this moment and what this practice period will be.

[03:11]

It's its own unique will be and is its own unique angle. And that, as we know, comparative mind is, is a mind of suffering, you know. Unknown. necessary suffering. One of the consequences, I guess, of starting late and all I wanted to let you know, I've talked to some of you about this, I had a big conflict in my schedule and I will be needing to leave the valley about, believe it or not. And it's, I don't know how you feel sometimes when you really want to be in two places at once.

[04:19]

I really, really want to. And we can't. One can't and I can't. So I'm going to be flying actually to the East Coast. Philadelphia is not quite, is it the coast of Philadelphia? Yes. Yes? Right, right, yes. To be meeting about one of Zen Center's big endeavors, creating a Zen-inspired senior living facility and meeting with the partner, the nonprofit organization that wants to work with us on this. So I will be leaving and coming back, flying back, probably in time for our Nanju ceremony on the 28th. So my apologies to you all for disappearing. It's usually, and here's the comparative line, about usually in other practice periods.

[05:21]

So I'm going to just... Forget about usually. This is what this is. The... kind of hole in my heart is the practice of being with each person in the practice period right away and hearing from you about your practice intention, your focus for these months together, and that will wait until I get back. When the Eno read opening words, some opening words about practice period. During the ceremony, he mentioned students, a quote from Suzuki Roshi, students should be like milk and water because we've all been good friends from past lives.

[06:24]

And that phrase, milk and water, if you add milk and water together, it doesn't separate, it just flows together beautifully. It coheres or... Maybe that's not the word, chemically, it mixes beautifully and easily. And this phrase, milk and water, shouldn't you be like milk and water from Suzuki Roshi, comes from the Buddha in the Pali Canon upon visiting, which I talked about this summer, if those of you who were here for my lecture that I gave in July, a group of monks that were peacefully, harmoniously living together, sharing tasks of gathering food, doing the washing up, dharma discussions, practicing silence together, and very harmoniously and joyfully. And the Buddha said they were like milk and water.

[07:28]

And maybe Dalvin brings it up too, I'm not sure. So this image of milk and water, that feeling of coming together so easily, doing something together, is emblematic, really, of practice period. The kind of basic feeling of practice period. And within that, there will be conflicts, there will be difficulties, there will be just chemistry between people that's hard or tasks that you find that are hard. So milk and water and harmony doesn't mean kind of nothing happens or there's no challenges. Within the milk and water, there will be difficulties.

[08:31]

the word monastery comes from the Greek word that means to live alone. And monks, the word monk comes from this monastery. Mano is living alone, doing something alone. And at the Buddhist time, the monks did live alone in the forest, you know, and nuns did as well until it wasn't safe and the ammunition was to lift in twos, at least twos for safety, really. But during the rainy season, the mono practice of living alone was let go of it. People came together because it was hard to live alone in the forest during the rainy season and to get food and to be safe and comfortable probably in that weather.

[09:36]

So gathering together for the rainy season for three months was the origin of our ango and our practice period. Ango meaning peacefully abiding. And eventually gathering together, practicing together became more of the norm, especially as Buddhism moved to more cold climates. and in the mountains, so people would gather together. But still, this gathering together to do the same thing, this monastic practice. So part of what makes our practice function together is our commitment, are wanting to practice with others in this way.

[10:38]

And in thinking about this, you know, people, I don't think you came here necessarily or came from far away from other countries to learn oryoki and to learn to hit bells and to learn to clean altars and dig holes. I think we came, all of us, practice Buddhadhamma. And all of the forms, all of the temple instruments that many of you, all of you will learn to play some temple instruments in your, during the practice period. And oryoki, all of us do. And the other forms, all of the yogic forms are ways in which the practice of Buddha Dharma is expressed and conveyed to one another. So the underlying thing that we're doing, let's not kind of make a mistake about this, is practicing the Buddha way.

[11:54]

And to just say, okay, go ahead, practice. Being human beings, we need to function with activity and take care of ourselves, be fed and housed and to celebrate our life together. That's very human ritual and ceremony is as old as human beings are. So we come together with these created forms that have been passed on in traditions and changed over time according to countries and so forth. But the purpose of our coming together is not in order to practice forms or to sound the Han or temple bells.

[13:00]

All those things help us to express what's hard to express. Our understanding of Buddha Dharma will come through in how we practice orayoki, how we bow to one another, how we take care of ourselves and one another, how we speak to one another. So, you know, the ango is sometimes called... We use that term, training period. And I know many people have mentioned to me that they don't really like the word training too much. And I think it calls up a story of coercion, you know, and making someone do something they don't want to do or force something. And I think that story of training doesn't call forth joy and harmony and buoyancy and enthusiasm.

[14:10]

Instead, it creates unenthusiastic, bored, maybe angry beings, coercion. using force or, yeah. So my story of training is that we love to be fully exerted, human beings do. I think human beings appreciate learning of all kinds, learning, buddhidharma learning, with our hands and feet and voices. And there's a joy there in doing something that's difficult. The joy yesterday from our sincere Tongario students who used to sit alone, they're all around us.

[15:11]

As they emerged from Tongario, it was kind of amazing. They looked like they were going to lift off the ground. And, of course, it was a beautiful day with that blue, blue sky and a bad lunch and pizza for dinner and all these wonderful things. However, the true joy, you know, we can have pizza. All summer you had pizza, too. But it wasn't pizza. It was we did something and entered something that was difficult. And with sincerity, we fully exerted to the best chance. That we could, which is what Tongariya is about. It's about our sincerity. And we, as some people said to me, we did it. We did it. That is, that joy, it cannot be given to you by somebody else. That is a, that comes from our own sincere practice.

[16:12]

And it's priceless. It's miserable. So if you have a story of training, it's coercion, and they're going to make you do stuff, and it doesn't matter that I signed that thing. That's what I was going to follow the schedule, you know. And the more familiar you are with SR, if you've been here a long time, you know the ropes, you know. There was a student who confessed to me once that during sashim, somehow this student, who will remain forever nameless, got on the computer and was playing video games, you know. And I remember, as this person was telling me, the feeling that I had, and I tried to, you know, what was it that I was feeling? Ah, you know, this combination of, ah, ah, so many things, you know.

[17:19]

Where did I go wrong? That was maybe part of it. Also, this disappointment, but not this fact that the cohesiveness of our shared life, you know, had kind of broken, had broken apart, and that there wasn't a shared intention. The word cohesive and cohesion, cohere means the chemical is to stick together, you know. So this quality to have coherence and cohesion in our practice period life, in our training, in the ango, also creates, when there's cohesion, a kind of hearty, and a joyful feeling, and a kind of unified whole, where all the parts are endeavoring to work together.

[18:26]

And when the cohesion breaks apart, there's... Well, I looked up the word cohesion. Coherence is a quality of being consistent, forming a unified whole. And the synonyms are harmony, balance, unity, symphony, working together, making beauty, actually, making beauty and joy. The antonyms are discordance, disunity, imbalance, and incoherence. And some related words are order, evenness, equilibrium. And near antonyms are confusion, disturbance, tension, disorganization, dissonance, incompatibility, disconnectedness.

[19:30]

And that can happen, you know. Certainly when our shared commitment to practice, to live out and practice the way together, when it breaks apart, there is. And also one word in the ancients was violence. So what this person told me that, I think I was feeling disturbance and confusion and dissonance, you know. And what I know about myself and realized afterwards was that in some ways that it was time to leave. That's hard, really. You know, during the session to be playing video games on the computer and then after Firewatch, you know, it was actually time to leave.

[20:34]

And I don't know if I regret it exactly, but I didn't say, please back up. Probably if I were a better teacher, I would have said, That's it, you know. And I admire that kind of clarity. So, and this kind of disappointment or dissonance or feeling like, are we in this together? What happened? Happened another time watching someone have been in the practice periods. going to the baths on this person's day off with a glass marley mug of tea, you know. So, you know, do not bring glass to the baths. It's just like, that's how we take care of one another so you don't break it and drop it and people get their feet cutter. And so I also felt like it wasn't just about the form, you know, not following the form.

[21:46]

It was... something that was lost in our life together, something that I feel is hard to create, hard to maintain, hard to sustain, hard to care for and not have it be cut off. The tendencies for those kinds of situations to actually kind of fall apart over time. So we have a chance, rare, this chance is rare, rarely occurs in any lifetime, the echo says, rarely occurs. And some of you, for some of you, this will be our only practice period at Tassara.

[22:46]

And for others of you, it's like Leslie. This is her 60-foot prize. And it's very impressive. But for some of you, this will be your only one. Or your last one. Or... So I want there to be cohesion. I think that creates... There's enough incoherence in our life and our struggles and our emotional and physical and psychological challenges that we have and things we're working on, the ups and downs of our, you know, our trying to live upright. So to have the practice period, be cohesive, allows us to steady ourselves more thoroughly and supports that steady of the Buddha way.

[23:54]

And allows us to be more able to express ourselves fully, actually. The theme of the practice period, the study material will be on upright and complete speech, the practice of right speech. And the Buddha had a lot to say about this. This is right speech. Samyak Vak is one of the... spokes of the Eightfold Path, as you know, and he mentions it, teaches about it, many places in the Pali canon, which we will be looking at. And Suzuki Roshi brings up speech, Dogen brings up speech, Shantideva brings up speech, many teachers bring up speech, which is one of the more, you know, in terms of our karmic life, body, speech, and mind.

[25:09]

the power of our speech and the ability to create suffering or relieve suffering. This is power that we have, each one of us, with our speech. So we'll be looking at speech. And along with speech, of course, comes immediately silence. So speech and silence and listening all are included in what we'll be looking at together. The Buddha, just to say just a little bit about right speech, the Buddha noted in the definition of samyak vak or right speech.

[26:14]

And right speech is no false speech. And our precepts, many of our precepts are about speech as well. So not lying, for example. So no false speech. Letting go of divisive speech. speech that seeks to divide people rather than create unity, that delights in factionalism, etc. And the third of the definition is harsh, the letting go of or not using harsh or abusive speech. And that covers many, many areas Also slander, disparaging the triple treasure, which is part of our Bodhisattva vows.

[27:18]

And also, when do you raise your voice? When do you... You might use what looks like a harsh word. And when is that really harsh and abusive? And when is that appropriate speech? So we'll be looking at that. And the fourth from the definition of right speech is not using or speaking, using frivolous talk and idle chatter. Frivolous talk and idle chatter, which we'll look at as well because there's plenty of time that we make small talk and we're not always talking about you know, the Four Noble Truths, things together, other things we bring up, ways that frivolous talk and idle chatter. And these four, you know, we're talking about speech, but speech and language, there's both the words that come from all the organs of speech, and there's also

[28:37]

body language that conveys all these things that I said. You can lie with a gesture. You can be abusive with a gesture. You probably know all sorts of gestures that are abusive. In different countries, there's different ones. They're fun to learn. So there's not only the speech from the mouth, but there's all the bodily speech and gesture. And there's also the inner speech, how we talk to ourselves, how we lie to ourselves, or are abusive and harsh, or frivolous talk and idle chatter, or divisive speech, inner speech, that divides us from one another. So we'll be looking at this together, studying it together, I should say, and practicing together. And, you know, a couple of people have told me Even hearing that we were, as I find really interesting, just hearing that this was the theme, already they found themselves being more aware of some of these things.

[29:48]

You know, divisive speech or frivolous talk and idle chatter. Or how they said something was that harsher. And making an effort to be aware of this. A lot of these practices have to do with remembering. and awareness. And even with this definition, how do we know if we're practicing right speech? Is this frivolous talk or is it actually warm, loving speech to make someone feel comfortable? How do I know? And the Buddha talks about that, these are kind of keys to know when we are practicing Samyak Vak. And I'll just say what those are right now, but for you to kind of turn, but this we'll be looking at also.

[30:51]

So the five keys that help us with practicing right speech are to ask ourselves maybe before we speak or while we're speaking or after, was it true what I said? And sometimes we're not so sure. Was it the right time and place to even say it? Yes, it was true. But was it the right time? That's the second one. The third is, did it come from affection and kindness? Yes, it was true. It was the right time. But was I really angry and irritated? And it came from there. So affectionately, this is, I don't know what the word is that's being translated in English as affectionately, but kindness, affection, loving, loving speech.

[31:52]

So it might be true in the right time and place, but it might be said without affection. And the third, that was the third, the fourth is, is it a benefit? Yes, it's true. Okay, it's the right time. It's coming from, but is it going to benefit somebody? Often, if we check that out, it might be we want to be the ones to tell them or point something out or get it off our chest, but it's not a benefit. So then we would refrain. And the last one is, what is our state of mind? And do we have a mind of goodwill? while we're speaking. So these five keys will go over as well. And they're very handy, you know, to check, to bring our attention to this very, very powerful karmic act of speaking or language.

[33:06]

So all this, all of our study will also be to help us with full expression. I should just mention to you I have this chronic condition, I guess you could say anyway, where my eyes water. So sometimes I'll be doing this and people think that they've made me cry or have said something very sad, but it isn't. I have to do this, so excuse me. In this study, this is to help us fully express ourselves in the widest way possible. Fully express buddhida, not narrow our verbal karmic life, but purify it so that it's buddhida coming from us.

[34:16]

which, as I said, we've come here to study and practice Buddhadharma. And we often have a more narrow range of expression, not deep enough, not wide enough. So these practices will not be to narrow us, but actually to free us into full expression. the fullness of who we are, the fullness of Buddha nature, of which we are an appearance of uniquely. And to put into practice all the teachings. I wanted to study this this year partially from experiences I had with words, typed words, actually, read words, which is another aspect of this, of speech, not just verbalizations, but written and body language.

[35:37]

And being, I don't know, maybe appalled is a good word, kind of appalled at the level of the discourse that I was reading and hearing not just in the political world at this time in our lives but also on some in some dharma exchanges and I thought this is a good time to study this because it's so powerful you know it affects us so strongly and so this is I think a very good year and I've been I took this up for this year, this practice of right speech, and stepping in. So I, you know, as I said with that person who told me that they were doing video games, doing sesshin, and I didn't maybe speak my truth, actually, I didn't.

[36:40]

With affection, maybe because I couldn't do it with affection. I think maybe I can confess that there was a lot of disappointment and irritation, and so I couldn't maybe get to affection, which is maybe why I didn't say, pack up your stuff and see you later. So... I do want to feel free to say when I see something during this practice period. A number of people have asked me, please, I want to hear if, you know, if there's anything you see about my practice that you would want to comment on. I welcome it. I want to. Please do that. So I know some people have specifically said that, and others,

[37:44]

I know well enough to know already. And some of you don't know me at all. And we have to build a relationship, maybe, of mutual respect. But I don't want to, because of my respect for you, I don't want to overlook, or not overlook, but skip over a chance to meet. in a kind of intimate way that only one can, I guess, are around these forms that we've agreed to. Because, of course, what's being expressed often is attachment and clinging to self, misunderstandings, and to be able to really work together and practice thoroughly and intimately, please allow me.

[38:52]

I wanted to say a few things about the schedule, which is the kind of backbone skeleton that we work with. So to have that schedule skeleton be upright, we've thought about it and seen what it is and said, yeah, I want to do that. I want to follow the schedule completely. Everybody who's here said that. So one of the things on the schedule that we are so... to have is what's called bath exercise time Tandario's over now on the schedule every day is bath exercise and bath exercise is from my from where I sit in the mandala is it's it's a real gift to each of us

[40:11]

to have a time each day for movement, exercise, followed by bath, or in my case, bath first and then exercise. And it's not a break time or time for a nap or getting some more work done. It's a way to take really good care of yourself deeply. I think of it as an ethical and spiritual practice. exercise, exercise bath time, exercise in particular, it supports our state of mind. It supports our bodies, which, as you know, it is a vigorous, rigorous practice here. Every time I come back for practice period after having been away or even at another practice place, I realize the rigor, you know, once you've been here a while, we get our mountain. legs and our mountain body, but that transition of getting back is difficult.

[41:19]

And all that sitting is difficult. So we have also, we have wonderful exercise room with weights and different things. We have beautiful warm retreat hall with yoga props that's free for you to go. So this, I can't exercise it enough, that bath exercise. Bath, also, it's like for the respect, self-respect, and the respect of your fellow practitioners to bathe regularly. It's an act of goodwill and affection for one another and caring for one another, compassion for one another to take good care of your body. and washing clothes, and all these things are what makes for non-cohesion, actually, when everyone isn't practicing that way.

[42:22]

Recently, Steve Weintraub and Tova actually, maybe some other people here, participated in a conference from the Sopto Zen Buddhist Association, SCEA, and there was a presentation on practicing with power, which I might break up a little bit from some of the things I've heard. But one of the named powers is each person's individual power, which can't be taken away, which we all have. And part of that power is the power to take good care of ourselves. And what Steve said told me was the person who was leading this said it's to not take good care of yourself is an abuse of power and that was that really hit me really home it's not just I don't wanna and I don't know it's one's own personal power abusing one's own personal power to take good care of oneself

[43:38]

a kind of abusive car. So I've been kind of turning that. I think also there may be other things you want to let go of. You have habits that are not supportive of this body-mind. And tasahari is a place to work on those kinds of tendencies and familiar ways that we actually distort self-care and taking care of ourselves. It's an attempt for self-care, certain things, but it really isn't taking care of ourselves, it's harming ourselves. So in the schedule, this bath exercise time is really something to really practice with together. as an expression of self-respect and respect for others.

[44:45]

Those of you who've been in practice with me or practiced with me know that I appreciate our forms as a way to convey our understanding and to convey our karmic, working with our karmic tendencies and self-clinging. I think forms, working with forms is a royal way to get right to our self-concern and self-clinging, which is, I think, the, you know, of our ancestors who came up with these and passed them down, you know, as ways to not, you know, coerce and obstruct, but to get at what's hard to get at.

[45:59]

So I'll be bringing these things up. I've refrained all during Tangario, and until this talk, actually, I didn't feel like I wanted to do anything around forms or before I got a chance to actually say hello. You know, the first thing you heard from me was some correction about orgy. You'd be like, really? Is that what this is going to be like? But now that we've had our morning time together, I will be bringing things up and also asking for permission kind of in a blanket way. in terms of our zaza practice and posture to make suggestions which might include touching a spot on your back or hands or shoulders or head or all the different ways that we do this we have these yoga postures yogic

[47:10]

So if for some reason, and I know there are some people for whom that is completely not okay because of their own karmic life, they do not welcome it, please let me know with a note. And maybe the Tattoo as well, because Tattoo may be making posture suggestions. So let me know today, actually, because I think in the afternoon, we're sitting all afternoon, I'll want to go around. And the posture suggestions that I received from teachers, Suzuki Roshi and other teachers, other abbots, have been... I couldn't... They're blind spots. I guess your back is kind of blind to you. kind of a blind spot, karma, habits of body that I couldn't have corrected on my own.

[48:16]

I couldn't feel it or see it. And to have someone bring my attention, which is what the suggestion is, feel here, take a look here. What's happening here is what it's saying rather than you're sitting wrong. That's not what's being conveyed. What's being conveyed is bring your attention here. What's happening? So they've been really so useful. From the first time I sat at Sokoji, Suzuki Roshi corrected me. This was in 1968 in Japantown, and I come from Minnesota to check out Zen Center. And I was sitting in the new student area. I think they had two different sections. And I was sitting, my nose was almost touching the wall.

[49:17]

I was like, kind of like, whoa, whoa, you know. And just sitting there, I never sat in the center before, I just sat at home. And Suzuki Roshi came, and his little face was right here. Move back, move back. Never would have. I thought he just was faced alone. And I, oh, okay, and I scooted back. Oh, that's really different. They had something. space there so it might be something like that too close too far whatever it is if we hold to this is how I do don't touch me or some people you touch and they like run at the shadow of the whip you know they just and other people they deviant like a little donkey you know You're not going to make me do something that I want to do.

[50:19]

And that's our karmic life, you know, so. And you can learn from that too. I was resisting. What were they showing me anyway? On my back. So, that and our ga sho, shashu, all these forms which express our practice life. nothing is hidden you know our reticence and resistance is not hidden it's not just a mental phenomena it's we broadcast it you know so to and it's not easy for me either you know to feel that donkey you know but I feel like I vow out of respect for everyone here to not overlook that and say, oh, fine, I'll just sit.

[51:20]

I love sitting. I'm not going to be bothered. I love to engage with you on these things because otherwise, what are we doing together really? A couple months in the mountains with all this good food. That's not my understanding of ongoing peaceful abiding. And oryoki as well. And I think doing oryoki together brings a kind of, when everyone's doing the same things and knows how to hand the, or not hand, it brings a kind of joy, just like ballroom dancing or any kind of endeavor or dressage. horses who are one with their rider and do together what they've been trained to do is a joyful thing.

[52:30]

This is how I understand it. So the last thing I wanted to bring up, and I didn't bring my watch, I know the kitchen's already left, but I wanted to say something about our practice with our head student, the Shusso. And the Shusso, for those of you who've been in practice periods at Kassar, the Shusso, or other practice periods, the Shusso's only job is to follow the schedule and be an example of practice for everyone. Ring the wake-up bell every morning. And it's like one long ceremony for the Shouseau. 90 days or whatever number of days. One long ceremony with different ceremonial events within that one long ceremony.

[53:33]

And so we've invited Lauren Bouillet to be the Shouseau. And tonight there'll be a ceremony. of stepping into that Dharma position on the mandala and inviting her to anyway. We hope she'll want to. And so once, if she does enter as the shusou, we've had one shusou who didn't enter that I know of, just decided this wasn't the right practice. then there'll be some changes that shall be as part of this long ceremony. There'll be different practices that shall be having. And one of them will be, and I say this now because I'm going to be leaving tomorrow, and I would have said it tomorrow to you, but I'm going to say it now, which is,

[54:46]

In the morning when I come in and open the zendo with the bell and the boughs, and then I walk around, and you all put your hands in casho. That's called the ken tang. Ken is looking, looking at the tang. This is the tang. So looking at everybody. But once the shiso enters, she will do, before I come in at the end of the roll down, for the second roll-down, she will come in and also offer vows and walk around the Zen-no in the opposite way, starting from this side. And she'll walk around in Gaosho doing what's a Jun-no, which is what we've done in our Tagariya. Returning students just did a Jun-no and departing students do Jun-nos. It's walking around in this kind of greeting.

[55:48]

So she, and you put your hands in gaso when she passes you, coming from the other direction. So Shuso goes clockwise, and the leader of the practice period goes counterclockwise, okay? So that, if all goes well tonight, that will happen tomorrow morning. So I just wanted to alert you. Here we go, and here I go tomorrow. There are the practice leaders which weren't announced yesterday for this practice period. The abiding teacher, Leslie, and Gray, the Tonto, Carolyn, the director, and Topher Green will all be available for practice discussion.

[56:57]

Practice discussion, you know, some groups don't have doksana practice discussion. Okamura Roshi and Taiji. His teacher did not offer doksana. That was not a practice they did. So it is a practice that we have taken up a chance to ask express your practice bring practice issues or posture issues to the dog side room or practice discussion room so we do have this practice and please avail yourself of it as a way as a way to encourage your practice and you you don't have to even though Monastery is living alone.

[58:01]

We're living profoundly alone, which means we're just one body. That's how I understand the alone. It's not alone isolated. It's just one being. I alone and the world honored one, you know, when the Buddha was born. I alone and the world honored one. That alone is one body. So within that one body, go for help. Ask for help. Express your practice. Bring your questions. Thank you very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive.

[59:05]

Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving.

[59:15]

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