This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. For how many of you is this... your first time at Green Gulch. Well, welcome. Welcome. And welcome to everyone who's come out on this misty, rainy morning. For those of you who don't know my name, my name is Linda Cutts. And this lecture, this Dharma talk this morning, will be the last Dharma talk that I will give from the place on the mandala of Zen Center, the place, the Dharma position called Central Abyss.

[01:19]

In a little less than a week, I will take part in a ceremony It's called stepping down, stepping down ceremony. And the reason it's stepping down is because when you become the abbess or the abbot, there's an installation ceremony where you climb up a mountain figuratively and literally and emotionally There's a little mountain that's built. It's actually a gigantic mountain that's built that you climb up during the ceremony. And I will be climbing down, stepping down. And I'm noticing lots of different feelings that I've been having in these days and weeks, weeks and days,

[02:27]

this ceremony. The abbess of Green Gulch said it's like having senioritis, you know, senior year, where you're, it doesn't matter anymore, you know, you just skip class. And Tintin Roshi gave me a picture of Suzuki Roshi, the founder of Zen Center, right after he stepped down from being the abbot of the temple Rinso Inn, and his son, Hoitsu Roshi, took that place. I brought that picture. If you come to Q&A, you can look at it, but it has Suzuki Roshi with this huge smile on his face like he is so excited that he's... going to let go of that responsibility.

[03:30]

He really looks happy. So along with those kinds of feelings are also tasting the and I think this comes with any transition really tasting the times where you failed, where you were not able to meet a situation fully due to, thinking of myself, due to my own, my eye of practice not being able to see as far as necessary. So remorse, retasting morsel, chewing again a morsel, remorse.

[04:31]

So that's also part of it and fine with me actually, necessary. Also feeling an enormous amount of gratitude for everyone that I practiced with for these years in this particular spot. all the help I've received, it really can't be quantified. Today I wanted to talk about something that I find very important. You might even say, without this, one might ask, well, what is practice all about?

[05:33]

And what I'm talking about is kindness, loving kindness, and joy, and deeper than that, something that's called grandmother mind, or grandmotherly mind. or Grandmother Heart, or as Suzuki wrote, she says somewhere, Old Lady Heart. And part of why I want to bring this up, this particular teaching around Grandmother Mind, is that I also, just this past month or so, just in January, became a grandmother for the first time. Our daughter, Stephen, my daughter gave birth to a little boy who came, was very eager to come into this world and came about four weeks before we were expecting him.

[06:39]

And he's doing just great. He wasn't all that chunky when he was born, but he now weighs over nine pounds, which is like doubled his weight. So all is well, and I've been basking, bathing in grandmotherly heart-mind, one aspect of grandmotherly mind, with this new being. and also noticing the new family and the parents and their practice, really, of taking care of this being. His name, serendipitously, I'll tell you why later, is Rowan, and they call him Ro.

[07:40]

Rowan is a sacred tree often put at the at a place mark for sacred spaces. They're calling him Ro. So grandmotherly mind, or parental mind, it's sometimes called, or nurturing mind, or mind-heart, the character for mind and heart is the same. character, translated as mind or heart, depending, but it's the same character, is actually Ro, Ro Shin. So I thought that was something synchronistic about this new baby's name and how it connects with

[08:44]

this other language and this other meaning of the word by the sound. So Grandmother Mind is brought up in different places by our teachers. Suzuki Roshi brings it up in commenting on other teachers and one of our main teachers from whom our lineage flows from the 1200s in Japan in a commentary about the practice of the head cook in the monastery, the person who is in charge of the kitchen and takes care of feeding the monks, the practitioners. The name of the head cook is the Tenzo, and instructions to the head cook as a beloved text that's studied, read out loud, classes about it, learned by heart.

[09:47]

And the images there about what our practice, how our practice enters our daily activities is a touchstone essay called Tenzo Kyokun, Instructions for the Head Cook. And in that piece, near the end, actually, the person writing it, Dogen, brings up these minds, these essential minds for the head cook. And I would say not just for a head cook, but for each of us, for the mind of the practitioner or anyone who takes up practice of Buddha Dharma or the teachings of the Buddha, these three minds or mind hearts are important to be able to I was going to say carry on in the difficulties and vicissitudes of our life.

[11:04]

which we all have, we all share this in our humanity, the difficulties, the sufferings, the struggles, the challenges, the hopelessness sometimes, loneliness. So these three minds speak to our human life and the mind of a practitioner. talk mostly about the second one, but I'll just name the other two. The first one is joyful mind. And this mind is called volitional. You might say, well, I can't decide and just voluntarily or just decide to be joyful. You either are joyful or you aren't joyful. And some people are more joyful than others or something like that. But in this It's talking about rejoicing in our life, rejoicing with others, rejoicing in our daily activities, and how that makes a huge difference for all our relationships, for our work itself, for how other people experience our work.

[12:25]

grim and angry and doing our work, but with the mind of annoyance. Everyone will feel that, even though the work gets done, the food is prepared, there will be something that is transmitted through that state of mind. So this joyful mind, the mind that rejoices, in nothing special really, or it is special, special and not special, our extraordinary, ordinary life right this moment. The second mind is this ro-shin, or grandmother mind, heart, or parental mind. The Buddha also mentions this. This is mentioned in different places.

[13:30]

And many of us have, what shall I say, conflictive kinds of relationships sometimes with our parents. And I think that's why to say grandmother mind rather than parental mind may work better for this generation. Our relationships with our grandparents may have been pretty smooth. What did we feel? We felt their love, we felt their care, we felt they were looking after us and would do things to make sure we were okay and happy. So in this Tenzo Kyokun talking about this mind, the mind where you have another person's well-being in the forefront.

[14:32]

And he describes, it doesn't matter what socioeconomic strata you belong to, the care for a baby, and I've just been witnessing this firsthand, putting the child first, their needs, their hunger, their temperature, their sleep, their happiness, you know, this flows in a very canned flow without thinking about it that much, a very natural way. This loving kindness, this deep kindness that's not even thought of as kindness. It's not even, look what I'm doing for you. I'm talking about the kind of ideal, you might say, our grandparents and parents are human as well.

[15:42]

But looking at this mind that sets out the needs of others as the natural kind of, that's what you do, not having to choose should I or shouldn't I, but it flows. So this nurturing, wanting to nurture, care for, feed, literally feed and clothe, provide for in many ways, emotionally, materially, and also giving of the Dharma. this grandmotherly mind is, this teacher, Dogen says, absolutely essential. And it comes without this weighing, how much I've helped you.

[16:49]

In fact, it doesn't even feel like helping. And Suzuki Roshi talks about this mind in a lecture from 1967 and saying, because of this mind, old lady's mind, he said, old lady is very kind. Buddha's mind is the mind of parents who raise children with great care, with great love. And they do not miss an expression of the baby. This is Suzuki Roshi's English, but in being with this new baby, and I haven't noticed something, and the parents are saying, oh, that means such and so. He wants his diaper changed. And I haven't even noticed. And I remember for myself, I had, when my children were tiny, I had a kind of super...

[17:54]

mundane or kind of a supernatural sense of hearing, where I could hear above, you know, crowded room people talking, I could hear a tiny little cry at the baby woke up, without trying, you know, without a better listen for, just, so this, this mind that doesn't miss, that's in tune, that's attuned to. allows for the child, allows for each other to thrive. This way of being with one another doesn't have to be a baby, but I think using the example of a baby makes it very, very clear. This kind of nurturing mind to be around that, one feels that they can thrive. there is a place made in our hearts and we can grow into the unknown or places of kind of our frontier, places we might fear.

[19:14]

Having this presence, having someone being attuned to you in that way, we're allowed to grow. And we don't even necessarily notice it until many, many years later. Just a couple of weeks ago, we had a ceremony called Pari Nirvana Ceremony. And this is an annual commemoration of Shakyamuni Buddha's death, Pari Nirvana, passing into Pari Nirvana. And I came into the zendo for the ceremony and looked at the altar, which was very beautiful. There were what we call these lacquer kind of towers with places to put offerings. So we call them, it's kind of funny, we call them fruit towers. Anyway, the fruit towers were there with beautiful fruit.

[20:19]

There was like four different flower arrangements, and candles were lit. And right across the altar was this picture, horizontal picture, of the Buddha, Shakyamuni Buddha, on his deathbed, or maybe right after he died, lying on his right side in the lion pose. And I came in, and looked at the altar, and I had this welling up of tears, this emotional response of grief, totally unexpected, seeing the Buddha prone like that, and feeling this love for this teacher, you know, from 2,500 years ago, and who...

[21:21]

whose teachings have been passed down and practiced and have been protected and brought forth to now for all of us and are available, available like they've never been available before with our technology to read the Buddha's teaching. So I was struck, and then I thought, it's not just Shakyamuni Buddha, And my relationship with this teacher, which I was surprised, you know. I was surprised at this emotional response. But what I also felt was all the teachers that I've loved, all the teachers I love now who will lie, you know, prone, supine on their deathbed. And I felt that in seeing that picture.

[22:25]

all these teachers, and some in particular, who allowed me to thrive, nurtured by practice. There's nothing that we can grasp and hold on to. And feeling that, I think also at this time of my stepping down, and getting older, too. So I came to Zen Center 48 years ago in 1971, January 1971, and it, you know, just like that. So Suzuki Roshi says, because we were so happy when we were at home, and this home here is, I say, our spiritual home, our place where we were attuned to, mirrored.

[23:41]

Someone was there in relationship to us, whether it was our growing up home or homes we make for ourselves, but places where we've... were met and met others and where we could thrive. Suzuki Roshi says, even though you do not say thank you, you don't forget it. This is because this rose shin, this grandmotherly mind. ro-ba-shin, also I've seen it translated, ro-ba-shin. So our Buddha's practice is, the heart of it is compassion, wisdom whose heart is compassion, or compassion and wisdom combined, and this compassion for one another, compassion for ourselves,

[24:47]

Without that and without expressing that in our daily actions of body, speech, and mind, we can't create places of nurturing and thriving and teaching. It's very hard to teach or to be taught or to hear when there isn't that atmosphere, I want to say, or that air that we can feel and breathe. doesn't matter how good a teacher someone, how well-versed or well-studied, if this mind of compassion isn't expressed, it will fall on deaf ears, I think. There's another kind of meaning of grandmotherly mind, or it's not a totally different meaning, but it's used in a slightly different way.

[25:57]

And I wanted to say something about that, because that also is about our actions of body, speech, and mind, and our practice. And I have a wish to convey this to you in a way that can be heard. Just before I go into that other grandmotherly mind and how it's been used, I just wanted to describe this mind that Suzuki Roshi talks about with his teacher, who was rather strict. Suzuki Roshi went to study with this teacher when he was pretty young with other young, pretty young monks. And they would get into trouble.

[26:58]

They were kind of mischievous. So I was reading and heard some stories I had never heard before. One was about this teacher. would have a treat, a Japanese treat called yokan, which is bean paste in a kind of roll, and you slice off pieces, and they'd go with green tea or whisked tea, and it's very sweet, beans and sugar. So he would have a roll of this, and he'd hide it way up on a high place. And when he was gone or doing something, they were kids, really. They would climb up, and get the roll, and they'd slice off a little piece so that the teacher wouldn't notice. And then they'd do it again, and they'd slice off more, and pretty soon it was down to the nubbins, and then they'd just eat it. And Suzuki Ryoshi said, I think this is really an interesting point.

[28:05]

He would be angry at them, you know, but the fact that they all four shared in this in some ways, that was okay, that they were all in together. But one day, he had these persimmons that he was drying, and dried persimmons are really delightfully good, and they were gone, or half of them were gone. And who took the persimmons, you know? And Suzuki Roshi was asked, he wasn't Suzuki Roshi at the time, he was little Shinryu, And he didn't know anything about it, who had taken the persimmons. And it turned out that two of the four had taken the persimmons and eaten them. And their teacher was very, very angry. Less so because they stole the persimmons, but because they hadn't all shared that two of them had eaten the persimmons by themselves.

[29:08]

That point there, I really appreciated that the importance of taking care of one another, sharing that the students who are practicing together are in harmony, looking out for one another, that students are like, and the Buddha says this, Dogen says this, Suzuki Roshi says this, now I was going to say it, students should be like milk and water. If you're practicing together to be smoothly, blended together in this harmonious way, helping one another. So he was mainly angry that they didn't include everybody, and only certain ones got the persimmons. Somehow that softened my, often I've thought of this teacher as really strict and not so drawn to this teacher, whose name I am completely forgetting, but it will come to me.

[30:12]

but this point about you didn't share with one another. I saw the parental mind, the grandmotherly mind that was there. What is he trying to teach? Not don't take what is not given. Disciple of the Buddha does not take what is not given. He's teaching compassion for one another and love for one another and looking out for one another. Not we got this and we're not sharing. So that helped me understand this teacher better, even with all his strictness. And the strictness, you know, sometimes there's a term, grasping and granting, two different ways of teaching. Grasping is like, it's not really grasping, but it's like making a fist, actually, like really strict. if you need to, and there's plenty of stories about this, where people have used the stick and hit or shouting, these kinds of things.

[31:26]

Slamming doors. So that's also called, one teacher called this the thunderbolt fist. So that you crack the the thunder and the Dharma rain comes down. That's a way of teaching. And the other is called granting with, you know, open hand. And this granting is also called grandmotherly mind. Grandmother way. So granting, granting and grasping or thunderbolt and grandmother are two And if you're stuck in one way or the other, if you're always granting and always grandmother in this, in a not nuanced way, then that's called paralysis, right? If you can't close your hand or if you can't open your hand when you need to, that's not full functioning.

[32:34]

So whatever the... situation calls for. How do you meet it? And underlying how you meet is kindness, compassion, compassion in the deepest sense allowing and helping people to open to the reality of their life and the wisdom of life, their life. That's another use of this grandmother. So I've told this story before, but of course all good stories benefit by retelling, and I'm benefited because I feel like each time I get deeper and deeper into the meaning of this story, which is a kind of koan, a Zen story, or... meeting something that you can't necessarily get a hold of in your usual way and figure out.

[33:42]

And this has to do with this other understanding or concomitant or grandmotherly mind used slightly differently but in the same realm. So there was a student who was practicing with this teacher in our lineage, Ehei Dōgen Daishō in the 1200s, and his name, this teacher's name, was Tetsu Gikai, who went on to become a wonderful teacher. And while he was practicing with Dōgen and with Dōgen's main disciple, he was a very accomplished member of the community. given lots of responsibility, could really handle administrative work, director of the monastery. I think he was also Tenzo, maybe, at a certain point.

[34:47]

So he could be given great responsibility for the care of the monastic life. And Dogen, this is in 1253, which is the year Dogen died, he called Tetsugike to him to say a few things, to speak to him. And he basically praised him, said, you're a wonderful practitioner. You're doing very well taking care of your administrative duties. And I'm not crying, by the way, my eyes water. Although I could cry for this story. And he was saying, I'd like you to, you know, think of the monastery as a place you could come back to.

[35:47]

Anyway, he was talking very nicely to him, praising him. And then he said, however, you have not yet developed grandmother mind. I know in the coming days you will be able to. And Tatsugikai, in his writing, says, when he said this, I listened to this admonishment that I hadn't developed a grandmotherly mind. And then he remembered, he says in his writing, he had said this to me before. This is the second time that Dogen, my teacher, has said... you've not yet developed grandmotherly mind or grandmother heart, even though you're doing very well. And he said, why is he saying this to me? He didn't quite get it, you know? So Dogen at this time was sick, actually, was unwell, was not getting better, and he was kind of dispersing his responsibilities to care for things.

[37:03]

And maybe about a month later, he called Tetsugigai to him again, and he said, I'm unwell, I'm not getting better, and I'm going to be going to Kyoto, where there is some doctor there that has been recommended to me to see what if I can be helped. So I'm going to go to Kyoto, and I would like you to stay here. I can't remember exactly. I know that he traveled with him. Maybe he went with him to Kyoto, Tetsugikai. Anyway, he said, if I should get better, this is Dogen, if I should get better, I would like to begin the next... with you, the Dharma transmission secret performance of this ceremony and ritual when you come back.

[38:11]

And then he said again, please, you have not yet developed grandmotherly mind. Please look at this and, you know, I will see you, perhaps, when I get back." So this was the third time that Dogen said to Tetsugikai, you haven't developed this, even though he trusted him. But to have your teacher mention something three times that you should look at is... not to be ignored. And he said, you know, this was like a koan, because he said, I don't know, he kind of was thinking, I don't know what he's talking about. What does he mean? I'm doing okay, aren't I? And we might think, I'm doing fine.

[39:13]

Aren't I doing everything I'm supposed to do? What's missing here that he keeps bringing up on his deathbed, literally? He says this to him. So later on, he is pondering this. You know, what Dogen said was, you haven't cultivated grandmotherly mind, and as you grow older, I'm sure you will develop it. He had a lot of hopes in him. So Tetsu Gikai, after... Dogen died, he had a deeper understanding of Dogen's teaching. And this is what I humbly want to try and convey to you, because Tetsu Gikai did turn this koan and understand.

[40:14]

And it has to do with the grandmotherly mind. part of the background of him kind of coming to understand is that during this time there was another kind of sect called the Darumashu, this group of monks who came kind of in a group, and they were teaching, and this is this subtle kind of thing that I want to try and say, they were teaching that kind of everything we do, everything beings do, is Buddhism, or is the Buddha Dharma, based on these teachings of it's all empty of separateness, it's all one mind. So, if that's so, they're saying anything you do is Buddha's practice, whatever you do, whatever it is.

[41:23]

And they say, you know, lift a hand or raise a leg or whatever you do, it's all within the one mind, and so it's all Buddhism. And it's kind of like in the 60s, it's all one man, you know? It's just all one. That kind of, so anything goes. That may be familiar to some of you, or maybe a misunderstanding of Zen practice or Buddhist practice, that it's all beings are Buddha nature, And so whatever they do is Buddhadharma. So this kind of, it's called naturalistic freedom, supposedly goes against or completely against our teachings or the teachings of cause and effect, precepts, ethical and spiritual life as one DNA swirl. Because in teaching that it's all one man and everything you do is, unless one understands that thoroughly and completely, it's just an excuse for doing what you want to do and calling it practice or calling it the Buddha Dharma.

[42:50]

So there was... I don't know about pushback exactly, but there was a strong response to that kind of teaching of whatever. Whatever you do. However, the grandmotherly mind, and this is what Tetsugikai kind of woke up to, it's almost the same when you say it. what he woke up to and the teaching of his teacher about the importance of daily activities, our daily life's activities as being an expression of the wisdom and compassion of the Buddhas and our full engagement in our life. So what So to turn that, the grandmotherly mind is not whatever you do is Buddhism, but whatever you do, whatever you say, whatever activities, we make that our practice life.

[44:09]

We make it our practice life through our full engagement, through our intention. through our loving activity, thorough, complete, careful. Now, I'll just say it again, because rather than whatever you do as Buddhism, it's cultivating that whatever you do, be it sitting here in this room together, cooking food, going to work, talking with your co-workers, friends, family, whatever you do, it becomes your Buddhist practice because you practice like that, like it is. Do you see the difference?

[45:15]

I hope. You know, it has a kind of fleeting quality. So every action, yes, every action, there is no place, this is a saying, to where you can spit, you know, as if that doesn't matter. No inch of ground. Everything is expressing Buddha nature and soul. So not to be slack in our efforts. Each thing we do, each thing we care for, each person, place and thing, each word is an expression of this awakened nature that we share. what happened with Tetsugikai was he understood that all the teachings of his teacher Dogen that had to do with really the details of daily life, the details, I mean, you can read essays on brushing the teeth and washing the face and using the bathroom and cooking, as well as, you know, the most...

[46:41]

Those are maybe very mundane activities, but nothing is mundane as if it's a throwaway activity or doesn't ask for your complete and full engagement, wholehearted practice. This is grandmother mine, attuning to each thing where nothing is jumped over. as, well, that doesn't really matter, even though we have to make priorities. I'm not talking about that everything is equal in how much time it takes or the amount of effort we need to do various things, but equal in that this is all part of our interconnected one life. So he began, Tetsugikai began, he turned and understood thoroughly that what Dogen was telling him.

[47:50]

He was not making, it wasn't so important, the details of it. Those are, we got to do the important things, like taking care of the monastery and practicing meditation and reading sutras, and those are the important things. And then this other stuff, we kind of have to take care of it, but... You know, I'm going to look over here, that's where it's... And he understood that whatever we do, no matter how small it partakes of the Buddha body, myriad things, everything. And he turned and understood that the daily activities of... practice place or your own life, those daily activities, we can enter them as spiritual endeavors, as full engagement in a life of practice. You don't have to wait for something to happen sometime later, if only.

[48:57]

We can start right now. And Tetsukikai ended up carrying on these practices of the daily, the care for the daily life and forms of our life together. We all have forms of being together. Investing them with, they don't need to be invested in, they are themselves expressions of awakened life. But we have to do that practice to make it so. for us to realize it. So there is no Buddhism apart from this wholehearted engagement in the way. And it won't be passed — it will be cut off unless — this is up to us, you know, at this time in my life, looking at

[50:06]

you know, well, there will be letting go of everything, right? Just like for all of us, we will let go of everything, everything, you know, object that we've loved and cared for, every person, every place. And, you know, wanting with all my heart for this practice to carry on kind of woven through this is kindness, loving-kindness, along with this single-minded devotion to our life. And you may not know it, you may not make a big splash,

[51:16]

But as Suzuki Roshi says, people will want to be around you. It doesn't matter if you become famous or not. You'll have a relational field of beings who you'll be an example for, whether you know it or not. Thank you very much for your kind attention. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our programs are made possible by the donations we receive. Please help us to continue to realize and actualize the practice of giving by offering your financial support.

[52:18]

For more information, visit sfzc.org and click giving. May we fully enjoy the Dharma.

[52:27]

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