This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. So, morning of the fourth day of Sashin already. goes by fast, don't you think? And yeah, a month into the practice period. It's also three weeks, 21 days since my uncle died, so I'm reflecting on that also. His passing and doing a little private

[01:03]

service at some point today which is I think it's supportive of grieving to have some form for it and to recognize that there there's a rhythm actually to it and one can say acknowledge something and then release it Acknowledge someone and release them. And then again, acknowledge them and release them. And each time one may realize something more deeply about the nature of our interrelationships. The nature of what arises and passes away. So it's valuable to note.

[02:09]

So we do, every month we do a memorial Suzuki Roshi. And every year we do a little bit bigger ceremony. And so recognizing what is, say, gone is also recognizing what is given and what one has received. And to honor that, whatever it is, good, bad, troublesome, playful. Yeah, so I remember playing basketball with my uncle. things. One, we have, as I mentioned on day one, we have on the schedule, Yaza, night sitting, late night sitting.

[03:16]

And we're not all the same in our capacity or health or energy. So I wanted to invite people to do late night sitting and also freely... consider it an option that you primarily need to take care of yourself, take care of your own body, take care of your health. And so if you're straining to sit beyond the schedule, that's not so good. It may be a kind of pride or something. On the other hand, if you don't try it out, It may be kind of, well, I don't know, something. Fear, laziness. But if you feel some energy in the evening, which actually comes as you sit and concentrate on karmic arisings and dissolvings and are less burdened, at some point you may feel, oh,

[04:36]

less burdened and more, say, free. Not as tired, basically. It's not as much work. If you don't carry around burdens all the time, if you don't carry around your mental and emotional burdens and can identify, acknowledge, release them, and that includes grieving, then it's lighter. Life is no problem. Doesn't mean it's not painful or difficult, but no fundamental problem. So anyway, what was that? When did people begin hearing sonic booms?

[05:52]

I don't think Dogen ever heard a sonic boom. something if you're sitting there in the 13th century and hear a sonic boom so we have to deal with some things that Dogen didn't have to deal with oh I wanted to mention yesterday I want to apologize for my reference to the chili not being spicy enough. I thought, well, this was an example of a deluded mind, right? My own deluded mind.

[07:01]

An example of just an opinion or a preference. For a moment, taking me away from enjoying the pure qualities of the chili. And I just meant that as a personal thing, because I think for the community, I think the chili was just right. It was just right because not everyone wants it as spicy as I like it. Because I know my wife would not... My wife does not like the chili that I like. It's too spicy. So I have kind of a barometer there or a picante thermometer with noticing going out to eat together with her. If we go to a Mexican restaurant and she'll want it, whatever.

[08:05]

without the peppers. Why do you go to a Mexican restaurant? Or a Hunan. Actually, the spiciest food I ever had was in a Hunan restaurant in Chinatown when there was a little hole in the wall. I went in there, and I came in, and I was coughing. I had the cold, and the owner liked the meat's head. You need good hot food. So I was just in flames. Ever since then, nothing can compare. But then, actually, I said that at the talk yesterday, and then at lunch we had the soup, which was just cauliflower soup. I thought, oh, this is pretty spicy. I think maybe the Tenzo telepathically received my comment.

[09:11]

But I went and I checked with the Tenzo, and he said, he actually doesn't have that much control. So anyway, I thought, well, yeah, somewhere very interesting. But I think we don't need too much excitement in the session. Okay. People manufacture their own excitement. So anyway, I apologize for any confusion I might have created there. So this one way of liberation is being fully present moment by moment. being completely aware of your body, breath, mind, all of the responses to things, moment by moment.

[10:14]

Suzuki Roshi actually sometimes called it Shikantaza. This is Shikantaza. It applies to all the activity of life. Or it's just sometimes, just simply saying, it's Zazen. Zazen applies to all... the activity of life. But we need a zendo as a kind of steady place, a kind of laboratory. Because we have our human tendencies to not pay attention to what's happening in the present moment. And Suzuki Roshi sometimes called it undivided original way. And I think his understanding was that our way, this practice, includes all of the turnings of the Dharma wheel, the first turning of the Dharma wheel, which maybe includes the Saripatthana Sutta we've been studying.

[11:17]

And it includes the second turning of the Dharma wheel, which includes the Heart Sutra that we chant every day. It includes going beyond the to the original, which is going beyond is actually the original way. Going beyond, Dogen says, going beyond Buddha. Going beyond, going beyond Buddha. So this is, I think, the practice of doing the breath counting, various people have been working with and coming up in Dokkasan and talking about it. It's helpful to know many practices, actually. And to know the value, the power, and the application of clunky breath-counting practice.

[12:25]

And also the limitation of clunky breath-counting practice. So there's no particular state to be attained and no particular goal, but it is helpful to understand what happens when one applies concentration, makes some effort of concentration. So counting is helpful in the sense of you notice if you lost count. Eventually you may notice. When you're at 27, you may notice. Or when you realize the last number you remember was 3, you may notice. So then, to make that effort, it's actually in the effort of returning. So the effort of returning is to disengage from habits, karmically driven habits of mind, thought,

[13:33]

streams that are the usual familiar notion we have of who we are and what's going on or what we need to be defended against or how we're going to solve this problem or that problem. So to make that little effort that just to shift from being carried into the ongoing, unfolding thought stream, and to make the effort to be right here, shifts one's whole posture from being an intellectual, conceptual being, to being more of a whole being. Being a breath-body being. Being a hara. heart being. So the breath is actually the whole body.

[14:41]

And of course the breath is not mine. If you say, I'm breathing, that's something extra. Suzuki Yoshida says, you can imagine, it's like a swinging door. All you know is a sensation of Oh, something entering and something leaving. So in this, you can then maybe let go of the counting in order to just more fully be in the breath. So that... This is to be present, to be fully embodied in breath awareness. So this is just pointing some direction. So we've been talking from time to time about the Saripatthana Sutta, the foundations of mindfulness.

[15:57]

So the fourth foundation of mindfulness is referring to mindfulness of dharmas. And Anilayo in his commentary points out that the usual translation of that may not be so accurate or so clear. Usually it's just translated as being mindful of mind objects, objects of mind. And it always kind of puzzled me because what you find in the fourth foundation of mindfulness, you find the practice of contemplating the hindrances, contemplating the aggregates, the five aggregates, contemplating the six sense fears and the objects of the senses. And you contemplate the seven factors of awakening.

[16:59]

And you contemplate the four noble truths. So what this is saying, actually this is Dharma. So it's maybe not so good to even translate it into mind objects. It's more than a mind object. It's really a course of study. a course of study and a template and a framework for understanding and clarifying what's happening in body, what's happening in breath, what's happening in feelings, what's happening in states of mind, to more completely understand how states of mind are conditioned. how states of mind dependently co-arise. So to consider then the hindrances, it's helpful to know what is a hindrance.

[18:11]

And I remember some of the early... earlier talks I heard actually at Zen Center by Claude Dahlenberg, particularly, focused on, oh, what are the hindrances? And to understand the difference between an attachment to something that's arising from senses and an aversion to something that arises from sin well attachment can apply to both aversion or desire so those two hindrances the hindrance of desiring something or the hindrance of being repelled by something there's attachment there in either of those then the what's called the hindrance of an agitated mind

[19:17]

there's attachment in that. And the attachment tends to be moving from thing to thing to thing. Or there's great fear as a conditioning factor of that. Or the hindrance of sloth and torpor or just dullness and sleepiness. and the hindrance of what's called doubt. But I think maybe, I think of it more as cynicism, of thinking, of having the feeling that, oh, what's the use? That something doesn't matter. For me, it was a decision, actually, to not be cynical.

[20:24]

This was before I knew anything about Zen practice, but I was, for a short while, I had a job as a radio newscaster in Lima, Ohio. Anyone here from Ohio? Yeah, a couple of Ohioans. I only lived in Ohio a couple of years. Yeah. This is Steve Stuckey with the WIMA Radio News. But, you know, I would get the police report, right? And so early in the morning, I'd have to go to the early morning broadcast. I would go to the police station.

[21:28]

I'd look at, you know, if anything happened. Car crashes, knifings, shootings, domestic, you know, quarrels, anything that was reported there. Usually it was pretty small stuff, you know. But I caught myself, and I feel terrible even saying this, but there was a prostitute who was murdered. And I had the thought, oh, it's just kind of a dismissive thought. Oh, it's just a prostitute. And I felt terrible, actually, having that thought. And I thought, I don't want to be so cynical. I don't want the life and death of some person to not count.

[22:37]

It's hard for me to talk about. Very significant though. At that point, I actually acknowledged that to myself and I need to somehow live differently. Which led to me actually moving into a commune of people trying to live differently. And there we were confronted by all of our habits and our own small-mindedness. We did pretty well, actually. Anyway, that was, for me, a turning point. And so it relates to this. At the time, I wouldn't have known. That was a classical hindrance to indulge in corrosive doubt or indulge in cynicism.

[23:49]

But to turn from cynicism is to move towards the path of awakening. So we have these many, many, many moments, little opportunities in our life to see which is the path that's conducive to peaceful, joyous, awakening, free, unburdened, liberated life. So it's right there in the five hindrances. So each one of the hindrances is an opportunity to understand how it is supported? What are the factors that support that hindrance?

[24:55]

What brings it into the arising state and what sustains it and what allows it to dissolve? Carefully observing how hindrances arise means that you have some insight into the choices that you have made and their impact and the choices that you can continue to make. Similarly with the five aggregates. So the five aggregates are called the aggregates of clinging. So these are five say, ways of understanding what we usually think of as me. Usually we think of me and we don't understand what goes into me, what makes up me.

[26:01]

So it's a brilliant, part of the brilliance of Buddha's teaching is to understand that self is not essential substantial, permanent, enduring. That self is a composite of conditions. What we call self is a composite of conditions. That we are all mutually interdependent. But the ways in which we misunderstand ourselves and misunderstand our world has to do with clinging. So these aggregates that are called form, feeling, perception, formation and consciousness are the various ways in which we can get caught in believing that's me.

[27:07]

So this is also offered as a kind of template for study. and the fourth foundation of mindfulness. And with the more detail, with the interplay of sense fears and objects of senses, all the senses are named and the objects are named, And so it's then another opportunity to understand how we tend to live in a constructed world and miss the world that is unconstructed. Even though we, in reality, exist in an unconstructed world. Dogen says, unconstructedness in stillness.

[28:17]

So we miss it. We miss the way that we are living in stillness because of our belief in the objects of our senses. Senses including mind. Thoughts as objects that we believe in. actually and of course we need to do that because we have evolved in this particular way in this particular cosmos we have evolved to have this particular sense of space that we actually see light that comes that's reflected off of things so there's a particular range of light that we see But we don't just see it as light, we see it as the way it's reflected off of surfaces. And so because light in the visible range, the visible range of light is only part of it, now we know scientifically, right?

[29:32]

So x-rays actually are not part of our capability. except for Superman, right? But the rays that go through things, right, that are not reflected, you know, we're not aware of those, right? The rays that go through things. Or radio waves, the waves that are, you know, all around us and not so much here in the valley. But we do have satellite receiver, right? So... So there are some waves that we don't perceive. But we believe that we live in a world of objects that is reflected. So that's just one example. But it works for us. We have evolved with this. Because we're not the kind of beings that can go through walls, usually.

[30:38]

We need to relate to walls that have reflected light so that the grass, trees, walls, dharma reflected this is our world. This is the teaching that we're receiving. So we know the difference between the door and the wall. So we actually have to do that. We have to live in this world where we move through space. And usually... then we make the mistake of thinking it's more substantial than it is. And we don't understand how we have created it. It's quite amazing. Our capacity to do it is just amazing. We are perceiving so much and ordering so much at any given moment that our conceptual mind only can describe and hold on to a little part of it.

[31:53]

We tend to give that more weight. And we then miss the rest of the wisdom of our whole body now. But anyway, the sense spheres and their objects are elucidated. And it's helpful for us to understand because of the ways in which we get caught in believing what we see. We have to believe what we see. At the same time, it's important to know Well, that's not quite what it is. And then to see fresh means to see, you know, we retain memories. I think more and more we understand how our brains are conditioned to notice patterns and to then work with.

[33:01]

surviving in a world in which there are patterns. So we have to do that for our survival. At the same time, we don't understand how the very necessity of living according to patterns creates a kind of misapprehension. And then until something changes and then we bump into it. Something changes and then we bump into it. Or someone else does. Or we bump into someone else. Or they tell us that we bumped into them. And then we notice, oh, something's changed. Or that the pattern that I thought was there is actually a little off. Maybe it's not even the pattern that ever was there. But it was my interpretation. And now I'm getting another message that, no, it's a little off. Someone says, you stepped on my toe. I said, was that your toe? I thought that was just a rock on the path.

[34:06]

It's supposed to be path. Your toe is not supposed to be there. So the ways in which we then organize our life according to this belief structure is something that's actually called into question in this fourth foundation of mindfulness. So in the factors of awakening, the seven factors of awakening, the first one is, and it's characteristic always, is sati itself, is mindfulness. So whenever you're mindful of anything, you know that, oh, hooray, you can congratulate yourself. there's a factor of awakening present. I'm mindful of something. I'm even mindful of making a mistake. I'm mindful of making a mistake, so hooray. There's mindfulness present.

[35:13]

But the second one is the investigation of of phenomena or investigation of dhammas but investigation of phenomena. So really it refers to an open mind. Having a mind that is inquiring and curious and alert and so there's a receptiveness to this and and a kind of a courage in it as well, to have, and I'd say even faith, that there's faith as a part of it. Right now I'm making up my own Abhidharma. Different schools of Buddhism have, of course, created their different lists of the different factors present, along with these

[36:25]

with these factors. But you can do that for yourself. Still, it's helpful to have some reference to, oh, there are factors that are part of waking up. There's energy present. There's even a kind of delight present. There's a joy or a kind of sense of, it may feel a little childish, like a little childish. delight or interest in the most ordinary thing. So, or sometimes we call it wonder. There's wonder, wonder present. So these things are also possible to move toward, to support and cultivate. So it's really not a big deal, but it just makes ordinary sense to cultivate what works, what's healthy, what's wholesome, and to not do what's unwholesome, what's damaging, what causes harm to oneself or others.

[37:47]

It's really nothing so special. So in a way, it's very practical. Down to earth, this makes practical sense. And so I think the original undivided way of the Buddha includes just practical sense as well as inconceivable enlightenment. Maybe two names for the same thing. And then the Four Noble Truths are laid out. So the Four Noble Truths, dukkha, understanding, understanding suffering, understanding even the suffering that doesn't look like suffering, the suffering that might look like pleasure.

[38:50]

the suffering that might look like having a piece of cake. But understanding that attachment, the clinging that goes with it, is something to be careful about. So... Of course, we chant the Heart Sutra every day, one form or another. And this is all familiar, right? Because it begins with Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva, deeply, deeply absorbed in the wisdom that goes beyond wisdom, goes beyond wisdom. which is not any place, right here.

[39:56]

Deeply absorbed in being fully present. Seeing that the five aggregates have no substantial reality. The five aggregates are empty. And is freed from suffering, right? And then it goes through and points out that all these things, all these things in the Satipatthana Sutta are not things at all. None of them are substantial. They all are empty. But you don't really understand, completely understand the teaching of the Heart Sutra unless you understand what it's referring to as empty. So it's actually helpful to study form, feeling, perception, formation, consciousness, eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, mind, all these are empty.

[41:04]

Which means none of them, none of them, neither increase nor decrease. Since they don't have a substantial existence, they can't be added to or subtracted from. This is a great koan. Founder of Soto Zen Dongshan asked that koan. That was maybe his first koan, right? No, it's recorded as Oh. He's just a boy hearing the Heart Sutra and saying, the sutra says, no eyes, no ears, no nose, but I have eyes, I have nose, I have ears.

[42:11]

What does it mean? So, It means the beginning of a path of inquiry. What is? What is the teaching of dustness? Practically speaking, we need to kind of work with the ways that we get caught. And, you know, when there's something that catches us, when there's nothing that catches us, then we don't have to work with something. But when something really, when we're really caught in something, particularly something in a destructive way, you know.

[43:20]

So I use the example for myself of quitting smoking. So quitting smoking, actually for me, it was about the same time I started sitting Zazen. And so, anyway, for me it was very instructive to understand how I was addicted, you know. I had this deeply formed habit around smoking cigarettes. Smoking other things too sometimes. But the cigarettes, I started smoking maybe a little bit when I was about 15 and then I didn't smoke so much while I was in high school, partly because I did run track.

[44:23]

It was pretty clear that smoking and And being in condition for running the half mile wasn't so good. But then after high school, I didn't continue running. And so I was smoking more and more. And then into my 20s. And then it was this, I mentioned earlier, moving into a commune. And everyone smoked. Everyone in the commune smoked, I think. We bought, with our communal budget, we bought cigarettes by the carton. We had stacks of cartons of cigarettes. And different people could vote on what kinds to get. But it was like, okay. I smoked Pall Malls and Camels and occasionally...

[45:25]

Turkish specials. But anyway, the intense, at some point I was sitting and doing the Yijing, doing the yarrow stick thing, and I was laying out the yarrow sticks and I noticed, began to notice how discolored my thumb and index finger were from the tar. from the cigarettes. And I paused for a while and I just contemplated that and I said, that must be what's happening in my lungs. I made the connection with the external meditation and the internal. Thank you again, Ketchen. So making the connection with what was external and internal, I had a very clear understanding that I actually did not want my lungs to be like that.

[46:42]

It just became very clear. So I said, I'll stop smoking. So I did. I stopped smoking. However, there were cigarettes all over in the house. And the same day, I stopped smoking. And then later that day, I noticed I was lighting up a cigarette. I already had it lit. And then I remembered, oh, I stopped smoking. Then I realized how deeply this habit was ingrained. It was like something was doing this that was beyond my conscious control. I wasn't conscious of having decided. I hadn't changed my mind. I had still made the decision to stop smoking. But there I was with a cigarette in my mouth and lit.

[47:50]

So I had to put it out. So then I began to notice more and more the way in which my body would turn toward cigarettes. My hand would begin to feel restless. my hand would begin to feel restless and not know what to do with itself. So the hand would feel like it wasn't normal without a cigarette in it. There was a confused, bewildered hand. Like it had, you know, I knew what it was supposed to be holding. So I actually had to become more and more conscious of, oh, the way this works is this hand just goes and picks up a cigarette. So I had to stop it.

[48:53]

Oh, it starts to go there. There's a cigarette there. It starts to go there. But I can stop it here. It doesn't have to go all the way. And then I can stop it here, and then I can stop it. But then I can just twitch a little bit. And then I began to realize how I was... I felt my whole being somehow I felt kind of awkward and nervous without the cigarette in the hand. Like I felt like this isn't the way life is supposed to be. Somehow I just kind of felt that my whole identity was dependent on having that cigarette and just to be comfortable. So I had to sit there or stand there, do whatever I was doing, feeling uncomfortable. So I knew that it could be a pleasant sensation. It could be a pleasant sensation just to pick up the cigarette.

[49:56]

And I liked tobacco. I liked the fragrance of it. I liked the whole experience of the deep breath. Ah. I like blowing smoke out and inhaling it again through my nose, the whole thing. Some of you know this. Stop. Stop. This is too good. So this is just one little addiction, right? Maybe many addictions. One little addiction. But it affected my whole being.

[50:59]

So my whole body was kind of trembling. I'd have to experience some period of time. While this desire would arise, and I would be kind of agitated and shaking, kind of a withdrawal symptom, right? And then it would dissipate. It wouldn't stay there forever. It would dissipate. But then it would get activated again. Someone else would light up a cigarette, and then that would activate the whole sequence that was so familiar and wonderful. So this was, for me, a great study. And then about the same time I started studying zazen. So studying the karma, the habits of mind that are in the body, for me it was just very instructive.

[52:09]

And then I began to understand that that really applies to all kinds of things. All kinds of habits of mind that are familiar and comfortable, reassuring, but unhealthy. Actually harmful. Habits of mind that were sometimes opinions about somebody else. Somebody else and I would have an opinion about them. And that was reassuring. That's something that I'm comfortable with. But what if my opinion about them is not true? Or it's incomplete? So for me, this is a very sobering realization. This addiction to a whole pattern of

[53:15]

finding some comfort in something that is harmful. This is really, really sobering thought. And it can apply to all kinds of things. Virtually anything in life that one can be attached to as an object has its potential for being Harmful or wholesome. So the Buddha, middle way, is always looking for, well, what's the balance here? So I still love tobacco. I don't smoke. I don't take snuff. I did that too for a while. I don't... However... I don't deny the ritual value of tobacco.

[54:22]

So when I studied with Harry Roberts, we smoked together. There was a whole practice of spiritual use of tobacco, which is different than being addicted to it. So I just offer this as some consideration. It's really good to take up some addiction that you have, some attachment that you have, and look at it. And to understand the nature of it, you actually have to understand how it is in your body. And each thing is a little different. Each thing that we take up has its own way of being a part of our whole body-mind.

[55:33]

So now, this last year I attended a couple of the recovery at the Zen Center in San Francisco on Monday night, there's a big recovery group meeting. I mean big, like 80, 100 people typically show up on Monday evening. And people go around the room and say at some point there's a little Dharma talk and so forth, but then people go around the room and say their name and what they're addicted to. And I... I don't want to be rude. But really what I am addicted to is believing my own thoughts. So that's what I've said. There may be some other addictions that I have, but particularly that, and it's the most persistent, I really have to work with it.

[56:43]

I really have to work every day with being addicted. to believing my own thoughts. And by thoughts, of course, I mean mental thoughts, but also body thoughts. So, doing things in a certain way. Doing something in a certain way is good to do, and at the same time, it's important not to believe that it is the only way to do it. So all the forms that we have in practice here are also, you have to be careful, you might get addicted. So it's good to sometimes change from neither to neither.

[57:50]

Just to notice, oh, what happens? There's a little... That's a very easy one. So there are wholesome practices, and any wholesome practice can also be... It could turn into... self-clinging. So that's why when Suzuki Roshi is talking about following the precepts, he's saying, don't misunderstand following the precepts as something substantial. Precepts keep pointing us and giving us some encouragement to take a look, to look more deeply, to study our life But fundamentally it comes back again and again to just present moment, full awareness and present moment.

[58:59]

All of the sadhipattana sutta mindfulness trainings are pointing to this practice right here, right now. Well, gee, I thought that would be a short talk and that there'd be lots of time for questions. But maybe you'll just have to save your questions. And we'll do a... Tomorrow night, we'll do a show song ceremony. At night? Is that when we'll do it? Yeah. So if you have any questions, it's good to see what's the... question under the question. What's the root of the question? Thank you for listening. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center.

[60:04]

Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving.

[60:20]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_96.36