This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good evening. So tonight I want to talk about generosity, which is... something that is so close to the surface for me pretty much all the time during work period. I feel like in addition to spending my days dealing with the innumerable small details and questions that come by me in order to make work period go, what I feel like I'm actually mostly engaged in is just expressing gratitude to all the people who come to make this possible.

[01:03]

It's amazing. You know, every year, work period volunteers come and students come and together we make tasahara. This is it. It's us. We make tasahara happen. And, you know, so I feel like I'm expressing gratitude and I'm also... receiving people's gratitude you know so many of the people who come for work period say thank you for letting me come and I'm thinking are you kidding you know you're you're coming and offering your your energy your effort your skills you know many people come for decades to make this happen and it's just it's a miracle and It's generosity. It's this river of generosity that just happens over and over again.

[02:05]

And as I was bowing and sitting down and looking around at all of you, I was just thinking how grateful I am to be able to live this life and practice this practice and to do so with all of you. and thinking that this was because of the generosity of the Buddha. After his awakening, he spent like 40 days just, you know, coursing in this awakened state of mind, and he initially had no thought to teach. He thought, you know, what I have realized is so, like I have no idea how to talk about this or how to share it, and no one would understand. I can't begin to know how to share this and no one would understand. And then he thought, well, maybe there's some people who could understand. So I have to try.

[03:07]

So he spent the next 45 years teaching. This was his complete act of generosity. He could have just had a totally blissful 45 years just wandering around in an awakened state of mind. And instead, he chose to spend the rest of his life teaching and offering what he had experienced so that others could be free. And traditionally, generosity is one of the most foundational practices in all of Buddhism. It has always been a foundational practice for laypeople And I think at all times, except now, and particularly in the West, there's been such a divide between laypeople and monastics because of the time involved in practice, in meditation practice.

[04:13]

So whereas the monks would practice meditation, the laypeople had to survive, basically, and their main practice was generosity. And for both... right conduct and, you know, ethical actions as well. And traditionally, again, the three main types of generosity are material goods and fearlessness and the Dharma, the teachings. And, I mean, material goods that's so You know, it's obvious, when we first think of generosity, that's what we tend to think of as giving away things, possessions, or money. And that's wonderful. And it's wonderful as a practice, and it's wonderful for the benefits it gives. But it goes so much beyond that. Because when we give our presence...

[05:19]

Thich Nhat Hanh actually says that's the greatest gift that we can give, is the gift of our complete presence. And I think maybe we've all had that experience of meeting someone or sitting down with someone and feeling their complete presence with us. And what a deep gift that is to just feel that someone's completely there. I know for myself, those times when I have met someone... who has been present in that way, it's changed my whole idea of what is possible in this human life. Just to meet someone who is present and available and fearless in that way. And that we can give to each other anytime, all the time. I think it's the thing that so often we most want.

[06:21]

And in our current culture it's particularly precious because we all tend to be so distracted by busyness and too much to do and too many commitments and hugely wide social networks that we want to keep up. social media and emails and just the whole thing we can get very distracted so our our presence being able to be with each other face to face like we can't be here I mean it's easier here right you know there's no email no cell phones you know and all of a sudden we start connecting We connect with ourselves. First of all, that's the first thing we give, is our true presence to ourself.

[07:24]

And that's what our sitting practice is about. So being completely present with whatever's arising. And when we get a little comfortable with that, then we can be present with other people too. And sometimes it goes the other way around. Sometimes it's easier to be present with other people first. And then through that, we learn how to be present with our own stuff. In the Mahayana, there's the teaching of the six paramitas. Actually, that's also in early Buddhism, throughout Buddhism, the six perfections. And dana paramita, which is generosity, dana means giving, generosity, is the first. It's always the first in the list. So it's considered the foundational practice and all the other perfections flow from that one. In the wintertime we do a longer meal chant.

[08:33]

We do the same meal chant that we do in the summer. Before every meal we eat in the zendo, we eat here. This board in front is our dining room table, so to speak. We have three nested bowls and we eat right here. We eat very formally. There's many more meal chants. And in one of them it says, May we with all beings realize the emptiness of giver, receiver, and gift. May we, with all beings, realize the emptiness of giver, receiver, and gift. And in Buddhism, emptiness means that there's no fixed thing there. But it doesn't mean there's nothing there. It means there's complete interdependence. There's so much interdependence that you can't actually pull them apart anymore. So if someone is giving, they have to give something, and they're giving it to someone.

[09:38]

And without a receiver, there's no giver. All completely interdependent. And I feel that so strongly in work period that the people I think of as giving feel like they're receiving, and vice versa. You know, it's just... Mutual benefit. These are the three wheels that all turn together. Giver, receiver, and gift. Giver, receiver, and gift. I had a funny feeling on the way walking to this endo that this was going to happen. I was just going to get so happy it was hard to talk. I'm literally a little overcome with, like, this gratitude. It's like, duh. I was doing a small bit of research on generosity this afternoon, and I learned that in Japanese, the word that we usually think of is thank you, arigato.

[10:52]

Apparently, the literal translation is I have difficulty, meaning something like... Your kindness is so great that I have difficulty meeting it with equal graciousness. Is Hiro here? Is that approximately right? Yes. I'd like to read something from an early Zen text on generosity. A monk asked Huayhai, by what means can the gateway of our school be entered? Huayhai said, by means of Dhanaparamita, generosity, the perfection of generosity.

[11:55]

The monk said, according to the Buddha, The bodhisattva path comprises six paramitas, six perfections. Why have you mentioned only the one? Please explain why this one alone provides a sufficient need for us to enter. Weha said, Deluded people fail to understand that the other five all proceed from the dana paramita and that by its practice all the others are fulfilled. The monk asked, Why is it called dana paramita? Hui Hai said, dana means relinquishment. The monk asked, relinquishment of what? Hui Hai said, relinquishment of the dualism of opposites, which means relinquishment of ideas as to the dual nature of good and bad, being and non-being, void and non-void, pure and impure, and so on. By a single act of relinquishment, everything is relinquished.

[13:01]

I exhort you students to practice the way of relinquishment and nothing else, for it brings to perfection not only the other five paramitas, but also myriads of other practices. This total relinquishment is the self-forgotten, the dropped away body and mind. So... This is just another way of talking about letting go, which Dogen and Suzuki Roshi talk about endlessly. Let go of our self-clinging, let go of our ideas, let go of our story, let go of all of our constructs of mind so that we can give over completely to the experience of the present moment and open to things as it is. This is complete generosity, complete letting go, complete outflowing, complete relinquishment.

[14:03]

I think it was my second summer here and it was late in the summer and it was very hot and I was very tired and on that particular day I was rather grouchy. I remember I was walking along in front of the zendo, and another student was coming toward me who looked like they were having a hard day. And something really touched my heart in that. And as I passed them and bowed, I gave them a big smile, a big smile of encouragement. And their face kind of lit up, and they smiled back and bowed. And I could feel some energy come into their body. And we passed. And that was it. But I felt like I had just gotten let in on a secret. That by giving some energy, by giving presence, I got so much back because I was no longer grouchy.

[15:21]

Somehow the grouchiness had completely dissolved. I was unconcerned about being hot or tired. I felt connected. I felt helpful. But it was already over. It was already gone. I have no idea who this person was, whether it was a man or a woman. I just remember, oh, some troubledness, bow, smile, lightness, freshness. Giver, receiver, and gift are all empty. Completely interdependent. And whatever we receive, we can just give it away again. It's love. You know, the old work orders up at the shop, the old handwritten ones by Amy Hutto, for those of you who have been around forever, used to say on them, work is love.

[16:26]

so true. You know, it doesn't always feel that way. I know it doesn't always feel that way. But love is more than a feeling. It's an expression of our true interconnection, of our interdependence, of our completely mutually interpenetrating support. Sometimes it feels like effort and sometimes it doesn't. We breathe out and the trees breathe in all the carbon dioxide. They're so grateful for our generosity in breathing. And we're so grateful for the trees and plants' generosity in giving off oxygen. We are not separate. And...

[17:31]

generosity, giving, offering, love, relinquishment, is just all different forms of letting go completely into things as it is, this world as it is, in complete trust. And the more we can do that, the more we find how far the trust extends. It extends indefinitely, infinitely. We can trust things to be just as they are. Generosity is a practice. Sometimes we feel it and it's very easy. And sometimes it's hard. We feel like we should or we have ideas about it or we don't want to or whatever. But it is a practice, like zazen is practice, or whatever you do in your daily life is practice.

[18:46]

So it's not so much about what form it may take. There are many different forms. You know, in Christianity it's traditional to tithe, which is to give ten percent of your income to the church. So there are many different forms. You know, material, immaterial, whatever. But in saying that it's a practice, it means coming back to it again and again without expectation about what the outcome will be. It's not that we give to get something. I mean, it's not terrible to give to get something. It just... It's not as full or complete as it could be. When we give just for the sake of giving, then we're completely open to receiving. If we give to get something, we already have an idea of what we're going to get, and then we're not open to what actually is happening.

[19:48]

So just give. Give up. Let go. Let go of things, ideas, concerns, worries, and come back to it over and over again, just like you would any other practice. it's hard, whether it's easy, whether you like it, whether you don't, be generous with yourself. Be kind to yourself. There's so many ways to talk about the facets of practice. They're all the same and they're all different, just like us. Any door you enter through, keep walking through that door. Are there any questions?

[20:57]

I remember a conversation I had with Grant two years ago about letting go of our conceptions of perhaps health and nutrition and that sometimes we cling to those very tightly and can be problematic. On the other hand, He was saying, if we let go, are we perhaps harming ourselves in what we allow to happen next? And so where is the blind, or I don't know, how do you negotiate that? I think negotiate is exactly like, how do we negotiate the way? How do we find the way? Yeah, I think, I mean, food trips have been around probably as long as people had enough food to eat to start having trips about it. I met a woman from Russia years ago. We met traveling in India. And I don't know how we got on the subject of eating disorders, but she could not conceive of this.

[22:09]

If there was food, you ate it in as much as you could. That end of story. She was from a very poor area. Yeah, I think you have to know your own body and take care of it. and take care of the wider world. You know, it's like we try to take care for all beings. And we're responsible for taking care of this being that we're inside of, this body, as best we can. And I think it's a good practice to notice what we think, what we worry about, what we're afraid of, and what's actually happening. Just like in Zaza. You know, I'm going to die if I sit here any longer. My head's going to explode and my leg is going to fall off. This will kill me. I'll never walk again. They're abusing me, whatever.

[23:11]

That's like, really? But sometimes it's true. You know, sometimes it's like, you know, if I sit here any longer, I'm actually going to do damage to my body. And sometimes if we eat certain things, it's really not going to be healthy for us. So I think it's just an ongoing open investigation. I've gone through it for years myself. Like, what's this about? Is it this? Is it that? I don't think there's a fixed answer. Anything else? Yes. Well, I really like your description of generosity as an exchange, like, give a receiver a gift. And what I'm thinking about is receiving and the exchange, and how difficult it can't be to receive generosity sometimes.

[24:16]

You spoke about it a little bit, bro. Wondering if you can expound on it. Yes. I think maybe different things come up for different people. But I think one of the main two that I can think of are not feeling worthy of receiving such gifts and of feeling too much obligation to the giver. And this can really get in the way of really receiving, of allowing... the other person to give I remember when I took late precepts I felt so much support just this overflowing of it was a group of us it wasn't just me but from the community there was so much love and support and excitement to have this ceremony and it was almost overwhelming you know everyone's good wishes and joy and

[25:23]

And what helped me accept it was to realize they have these ceremonies every year at Berkley Sun Center. They have them like every June. And I thought, this year I'm standing in this place. And next year I'll support other people. And this is a joyful ceremony. And part of my role in being in this ceremony is to accept all this love and support and joy. That's part of my role. So I felt like, okay, I have to uphold that. And that gave me space to say, Oh, no, no, you shouldn't have. You know, that little thing, you shouldn't have. But often that feels bad, you know, to people. But I want to. I want to give to you. Can you accept it? I don't know why it's so hard to accept love, you know, or presence or whatever it is. But it often is. And then there's that obligation. Do I have to give back as much as they gave me?

[26:27]

Can I? I can't give what they gave. It's comparing minds. In some way, one way or another, it's comparing mind, judging mind, critical mind, in some manifestation. And that's just suffering. It's separation. When breathing in and breathing out are not separate, giving and receiving are not separate, it's just Joy. Like little kids, they're so much fun. They're like, here. And all they want you to do is take it. And then as soon as you take it, they want it back. You know, it's like, it's giving, it's receiving. Okay, that's the game. No problem with that. And then after a while we start, you know, having a little more defined sense of self. It's like, you gave that to me, that's mine. That's just the way it goes.

[27:28]

But we learned to let go again. One more question. Yes, Emily. So, I was thinking, you know, I live here, I've committed to following this schedule and to working, and that is so clearly because, to me, because I love this place and this practice. I feel like I belong here. And the three wheels are very alive. for me and my actions. But sometimes I go through phases where I feel like my work and my following the schedule are more motivated by fear. But I've made the commitment to doing this and I know that I love it, so I'm just kind of like feeling around in the dark and doing it anyway. Sometimes it doesn't feel very generous to myself to continue doing something that's motivated, that feels motivated out of fear at that moment. when there's coming to the Zendo or whatever it is.

[28:30]

So I don't know. I was just wondering if you could talk about that a little. What to do when that fear does slip in. How to respond to that. Yeah. I think mostly we want to do what looks like the right thing. Follow the schedule, not blow up at somebody, whatever it is. But if that other feeling, the fear or whatever it is, is strong and persistent, it needs to be taken care of. Sometimes it's something that arises and passes and it's like, yeah, this is just like a little current coming through. Fine, I'll just take fear with me to the Zendo and we'll sit together. And that's fine. Sometimes it's really like, hello, this is your fear and I have something important to tell you. And then you need to listen and see what it says. And I have no idea what that might be.

[29:33]

And you might be surprised. But I think it's not even so much what you do with it, but attending to it in the right way. Not being run around by it, but attending to what's it saying? What's it about? Not figuring it out, just being with it. Listening. Is there something there? Yeah. That's another form of generosity with your attention is to those difficult places. Okay. Thank you all very much. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

[30:30]

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