This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Tonight, I would like to bring up four little stories about Jar Jar. Not that I have so much to say. about these little stories but I like to tell stories about Zhao Zhao it's always a good thing to do Zhao Zhao lived near a famous stone bridge and he also became after a while a very famous Zen master and people came from far and wide to see him however he was not very impressive. When you met Zhao Zhao, you were not impressed.

[01:03]

So once a monk went on a really long pilgrimage to go to visit the famous Zhao Zhao, and when he got there and met Zhao Zhao, he was really disappointed. So he said to him, for a long time, I've heard about the famous stone bridge of Zhao Zhao, but now that I'm here, all I see is a very ordinary log bridge. And Zhao Zhao said, you see the log bridge, but you don't see the stone bridge. And the monk said, well, what is the stone bridge of Zhao Zhao? And Zhao Zhao said, horses cross, asses cross. That's the story.

[02:07]

So our practice is a lot less impressive than you think. There really is not that much to it. Honestly, there really is not that much to it. Just being willing to live as you are is pretty much it. The rest is all just costuming and window dressing. What it really comes down to is simply being willing to live as you are, just to be yourself. wholeheartedly, without leaving a single part out and without adding anything extra. That's it. So, if it turns out that you're a great and charismatic person full of spiritual power, great.

[03:14]

This is really great. If it turns out that you're not, also great. Everybody. crosses the stone bridge of Zhaozhou. And that's what makes it so impressive. Everybody crosses. Everybody is crossing. This is really awesome. One day, Zhaozhou was with the head monk. And Zhao Zhao asked the head monk, who built this bridge? I guess everybody knew. But anyway, Zhao Zhao asked him, who built this bridge? And the head monk said, Li Ying built this bridge. Zhao Zhao said, well, when he built it, where exactly did he start?

[04:22]

the head monk didn't know what to say. And Zhao Zhao said to him, you're always going on and on about the great stone bridge of Zhao Zhao and you don't even know where it started? That's the story. So, I'm a lot like this monk. Probably you are too. Always worried about our problems and the various things that we have to do or think we have to do or want to do in this lifetime. So we're always scheming and planning and doing this and that and frustrated when it doesn't work out and temporarily satisfied when it does until the next thing comes along. Where does all this being and doing actually come from?

[05:35]

Where were we before we were born into this world? And where are we going when we leave? I think none of us really know. And so... How do we know the basis upon which we're running around doing all these things? We don't know actually what we're doing. We're running around flailing our arms and legs, yelling and screaming, and we don't know what we're doing. At least if we knew that much, you know, that we don't know what we're doing. this would be an improvement. This would make a difference. It would make us more modest.

[06:39]

It would make us more humble. It would make us kinder. It would make us deeper. And that is the great virtue of sitting down every day in Zazen when you sit down every day in Zazen you're returning to the basis you're resting in the basis settling into the basis when you sit in Zazen no matter what is going on in your mind you are remembering what you are One time, Zha Zha was sweeping the floor. And a monk said to him, how come there's dust?

[07:46]

How come there's dust? Zha Zha said, it comes from outside. The monk said, in a pure monastery like this, how could any dust get in? Xiao Zhou looked in front of him at the dust moats swirling in the air and said, oh, there goes another one. One of the loveliest and most important points of Zen practice is that the distinction that we make between outside and inside is spurious. It's not an important or real distinction.

[08:50]

And the distinction that we make between purity and impurity is also spurious. There's really no inside or outside There's really no purity or impurity. There's just what comes and goes. Every moment something arises and passes away. And then we carve it up and want to call it this and want to call it that. Life just appears and disappears. As long as we're alive, we will never get over being alive. We will always be alive when we're alive.

[09:53]

And life will always be life. Uh-oh. There goes another one. Another time, a monk asked Xiao Zhou, what's the path? Xiao Zhou pointed and said, it's over there, just outside the gate. Can't you see it? The monk said, no, I'm not asking about the road outside the monastery. I'm talking about the great way, the path. Xiao Zhou said, The great way runs through the capital. Life here at Tassajara is very sweet and very pure for all of us, for the guests as well as the residents.

[11:03]

But when you live here for a while, you realize that it actually is not any different. from life anywhere else. All roads lead to the capital. And there's no escape from the craziness of this world. Because it's in you and me. It's in each one of us. That's why our practice makes us care and keeps us engaged each one in his own way her own way according to the dictates of karma to live a life of silence is also to love the world and contribute to the world and no matter what we do we will always

[12:13]

be spun around with everyone else the truth and the confusion of our troubled time and place is right here on every breath that's why practice isn't easy there is a way out But it's not a path of avoidance or escape or transcendence. The way out is love. Full inclusion. Full sympathy. And the great road runs right through the capital. So those are four little stories about Zhou Zhou.

[13:20]

As always, when I come down here, I'm so happy to be here. All the many times in my life when I lived here are present for me when I come. But also, this particular weekend, I'm a little sad that I'm not in San Francisco, where the Zen Center community is celebrating, maybe some of you know this, celebrating 50 years of Zen Center as an institution. And it's all kinds of activities are going on, special dinners and processions in the street, everybody dressed up in their robes. It must be quite wonderful. And this time, maybe for the first time ever, all the living former abbots and present abbots of Zen Center are there, except me.

[14:29]

I'm here with you, celebrating 50 years of Zen Center's establishment. And I want to tell you that I am really grateful to Zen Center. Although it's been now more than a decade, 12, 13 years since I've been a resident of Zen Center, I am really grateful to Zen Center as a place, as a community, as an institution. And I honestly cannot even begin to imagine what would have happened to me if it weren't for Zen Center so I really am grateful but Zen Center did exist and does exist and because of that I'm having a pretty nice life I'm enjoying myself temporarily and I know that that wouldn't be the case

[15:43]

if it weren't for Zen Center. Whatever Zen Center is. There's no such thing as Zen Center, of course. It's a word we put on top of some kind of phenomenon that nobody has a handle on. And having been a resident of Zen Center for decades, I know as well as anybody That Zen Center is full of problems. Because wherever there are people and property and things to take care of and any kind of society, you can, it's a sure bet, a sure bet that there will be problems. You can put your money on that. So yes, the Zen Center has plenty of problems. Probably impossible problems.

[16:49]

I often say to people, in the history of the world, religion, no one has ever tried to do what Zen Center has done for 50 years. And I feel that if somehow it folded tomorrow, it would still be an unprecedented success. And the fact that it goes on and that the current wise leaders of Zen Center are trying to ensure its survival is absolutely astounding to me. so it's a great treasure for the world and it's an essential place for people like you and me I don't know what we would do without it and it has had an enormous benefit for many many thousands of people so I hope all of you will

[17:52]

Think about that. And also think about what troubles we have in our world, what confusion we have, and how much help is needed, how much we need people who know what it means to rest in the basis, who understand that they don't know. why they're alive and therefore have some humility and some appreciation and some sense of wonder that life exists at all. The world needs that spirit more than ever. And so I hope that appreciating that, you will continue, as you have been doing, all of you here, to support the Zen Center.

[18:53]

in whatever way you can. Because it really is a blessing for the world. So that's all. Short poems. This poem just was sent to me the other day by my friend Charles Bernstein, who's one of the great American poets of our generation. If you don't know the work of Charles Bernstein, you should look it up. He's a real giant of a poet, and I'm lucky to have him for a friend. He wrote a poem for me. I was so touched, so I'll read you the poem. It's called High Tide at Race Point. And here's the poem. A commercial with no pitch A beach without sand A lover without a love.

[19:54]

A surface without an exterior. A touch without a hand. A protest without a cause. A well without a bottom. A sting without a bite. A scream without a mouth. A fist without a fight. A day without an hour. A park with no benches. A poem without a text. a singer with no voice, a computer without memory, a cabana without a beach, a bump but no road, a sorrow without a loss, a goal without a purpose, a noise without sound, a story without a plot, a sail without a boat, a plane without wings, a pen without ink, a murder without a victim, a sin without a sinner, An agreement without terms, a spice with no taste, a gesture without motion, a spectator without view, a slope without a curve, a craving without a desire, a volume without dimension, a Nazi without a Jew, a comic without a joke, a promise without a hope, a comforter without the comfort, a certainty without being sure, the stealing without the stolen,

[21:19]

the might-have-beens without the was, the Mishnah without the Torah, the two without the one, the silken without the silk, the inevitable without necessity, logic without inference, suddenness without change, a canyon without depth, fume without smell, determination with no goal, gel without cohesion. a cure without a disease, a disease without a trace, a mineral without a shape, a line without extension, persistence without intention, blank without emptiness, border without division, a puppet without strings, compliance without criteria, a disappointment without an expectation, color without hue, an idea without content, grief without end. really like that poem so I wrote him a poem back much shorter and I'll conclude with my poem to Charles sunny rooms anything to get us started don't get me started I can't stop but then full stop breathing in just as long

[22:51]

as breathing out inserts a soul in slot there souls bound together in knots make a foundation tent spread over that against partials optimal lingual predicament I'm taking tentative steps toward you foghorns regular, muffle, in distance. So that's the news for tonight. The 8.40 news at Tassajara. So for those of you who are here, in the guest rooms and appearing in the disguise of guests I thank you for coming and for your love and support of Tassajara you keep it going you literally keep it going for those of you who are here as residents sitting and working and bearing up pretty well I hope under the heat thanks for doing that

[24:19]

Somehow, I don't know how it happens, but every year when we think, how in the world are we going to get through the next summer? You appear just like that. And you're willing to do this. It's wonderful work and sacred work. Thank you. Are we done? Do we have any time for questions, comments? We do? Five minutes, ten minutes? Ten minutes. Ten minutes. Anybody has anything to say? You'll be robbing your friends of precious sleep, but don't let that be. Yes? A conscious construction of the meaning of love.

[25:23]

Would you accept an unconscious construction? So you're sitting there, you're asking me to tell you the meaning of love. Is that correct? Yeah. Well, I think really it means life. when you stop for a moment being mesmerized by all the things you think are so about you and about everybody else and about the world and just squint your eyes a little bit and look around. It all looks like love. Even the suffering. Even the violence. And so I think that's what I think. Like that. Is that okay?

[26:26]

Good. All right. I like to give satisfactory answers. Any other casual, simple questions anybody would like to ask? What time is it or something like that? But even that is pretty hard to answer, actually. Oh, there you are. I just have a question about your last comment. You said that suffering and violence can look like blood, and so maybe you could talk a little bit more about that. Well, I think, as you could imagine, I didn't mean to say that I like suffering and violence and that we should condone it and think that nothing needs to be done to alleviate it.

[27:29]

Of course, part of the big picture is that there is suffering and violence. Love manifests itself that way. And there are those who want to work to end suffering and violence. That's also part of love. It's all part of love. When we look at the world and think it's a mistake, that it's not love, and somehow we have to produce love that's not there, we can have a lot of despair and a lot of trouble. So I think we have to have happiness and appreciation of the world as it is. And from that standpoint, we should be bodhisattva practitioners and work to make it better. And it's all love, all of it. Okay. Oh, yes.

[28:35]

Two questions, maybe. One, is there anything but awareness? And then two, can there be love without awareness? Well, after a while, we start... tripping over the words. Right? So, well, maybe love is awareness. But then, well, wait a minute. Why do we have two different words? What are we talking about? And so on. So I find your question hard to grasp because of the words. We don't really know exactly what awareness is and what love is and so on. So, you could say, if you wanted to, you could say, well, there's nothing but consciousness or awareness, and that's the same as love. That would be okay to say that. Do you think so? Fair enough.

[29:41]

Yeah. Well, that's good. Well, providing a place for someone like me to practice for a whole life and making that possible, you know, supporting me so that I could live at Zen Center for decades and decades, so that I could ordain as a Soto Zen priest. I just was stumbling around in the world not knowing what I was doing and I stumbled into Zen Center and then the situation of Zen Center guided me and saved me from probably all my bad choices and basic stupidity I'm sure there's nothing worse than the combination of stupidity and stubbornness and that's kind of me so I think that

[30:52]

That combination would have had very bad results if it weren't for the fact that Zen Center kind of scooped me up completely by accident. I didn't really like Zen Center. I didn't really want to come to Zen Center. I didn't want to stay at Zen Center as long as I stayed. The whole thing was just... I was just crashing around the world. I stumbled in here and then I spun around a few times and 25 years went by. And I said, what? What? And if I had been doing that in the world at large, which is a lot less safe and a lot less wholesome than Zen Center, I don't know what would have happened. So this is amazing, that somebody could come here and say, I don't know what I'm doing, but I think I want to practice. And Zen Center could say, okay, practice for one year. Practice for two years.

[31:54]

Practice for three years. Practice for five. Practice for ten. Oh, you got ordained as a priest? Very interesting. Practice for 20. Without anybody having to walk in the door and know that they wanted to do that in the beginning or even want to do it at all. This doesn't happen anywhere else. And I really trust the practice. That's the main thing, right? What a simple thing. Ladies and gentlemen, sit down. Breathe. Don't do anything. That'll change your life. Really? Who would think of such a thing? Who would think of such a thing? And yet, it's really true. But you need a place to do that. You can't do that on your own. You need a place, you need a tradition, you need a community.

[32:55]

And Zen Center provides that. And it provided that for me, so I'm really grateful. And I'm grateful that it provides that for you, too. No matter how long you stay here, if you open your eyes and your heart and you're touched by the practice, your life is different. You don't have to stay here 25 years for that to be so. And that's a tremendous thing. Very unexpected. I don't know how it happens. Nobody at Zen Center masterminded this and figured this out. It happens because the practice is good. And people are sincere about the practice. That's all. Does that speak to what you're bringing up? Yes. I see a couple of hands in the back. Yes. Well, in the beginning, I had such a hard time.

[34:05]

I just was all the time miserable because sitting in zazen was painful on my body, painful on my mind, painful on my spirit, painful on my soul. It just was miserable, horrible, horrible. And I suffered a lot, even though I didn't really have any reason. to suffer. I mean, nothing bad happened to me or anything, but still, you know, I was suffering a lot. And now I really enjoy zazen, and it's peaceful. And I really like to sit. I have a little zendo where I sit, and I go there and I sit, and it's quiet. And it's just, I really enjoy sitting in zazen. And in my mind, you know, sometimes it's very quiet, sometimes it's floating this way and that way. But I'm always happy to be sitting. So that is much better than before. And now if I'm sitting for a long time and it hurts or something like that, I don't even care.

[35:09]

I don't mind. I just sit there and it doesn't matter really. So it's improved quite a lot. How about you? Is your Zazen difficult? I enjoy it. Good for you. You're enjoying the suffering. Oh, a little masochistic maybe, but that's okay. Good punishment. I think it's time. One more question. Lulu, was that you? I think it's just the greatest thing since sliced bread. Yeah. Right, whatever that particle is or isn't. Well, again, thank you all for all your work and effort and for your listening to my talk. I do appreciate it. Please take care.

[36:11]

Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit SSCC.org and click Giving.

[36:32]

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