This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. And so we begin the Rohatsu Sesshin. Rohatsu means December 8th. Rohatsu is around December 8th. December 8th is the date for the Buddha's enlightenment. And so the seven days leading up to December 8th are often Sesshin's all over the world actually, and already City Center, Green Gulch, Rome, Brooklyn, and probably thousands of other groups and temples, monasteries have offered a seven-day sitting right around this time.

[01:17]

And now it's our turn, and it feels To me, like we're back together practicing this way. In the first practice periods that I did, there was only one sesheen. In the winter it was Rohatsu, and in the spring it was commemorating Buddha's birthday, the last seven days before you know, right near the end. And it had a heightened quality to it. It was the only sashim, the sashim, and, you know, a combination of excitement and whatever that combination is, anxiety, dread, excitement, can't wait, oh no, all that rolled into one.

[02:26]

But I feel like practice periods now we we enter sesheen especially this last one with here we are again yeah and I would like us to notice if part of what we're thinking is oh I know I got it down or I know how to do sesheen so let's drop that or it's gonna be like this, or it's not gonna be like this, or anything, any ideas we have about what the sesheen will or won't or might or might not be, because those are all our ideas generated without living out the reality of the sesheen, which will be what it will be. And we can't know.

[03:31]

And as many of you told me last session, some of you it was pain-free, surprisingly, really surprising. Other people, other things happened that were really surprising, different kinds of pains that either came or went or let go or taught us. So not knowing is nearest as we have been reflecting on. how do we enter seshin not knowing mind and to turn that mind to rather than I know or I it's going to be or I have my strategies or something to turn that to what is it what is the seshin what is it that thus comes that question from that koan What is it that thus comes? Huinang and Nanquan.

[04:33]

When Nanquan arrived, he was asked, what is it that thus comes? Where are you from? I'm from Yu Province. What is it that thus comes? Nanquan couldn't answer. couldn't say and turned that question what is it that thus comes for eight years and then came back and said I now know what it is that you were asking when I first arrived and then when asked what was it he said saying To say anything would not hit the mark. Well then, is there no practice and realization? It's not that there's not practice and realization, it's just that they cannot be, the word is used as defiled, and this defiled, come sit down.

[05:52]

is dualistically thinking. It can't be thought about in a dualistic way. What is it that thus comes? I can't, whatever I say, our language itself is dualistic. It's this or that, or from this side or that side. And then Hui Deng said, I am like this. You are like this. All the Buddhists and ancestors are like this. So I'm asking us to turn from I know or it's going to be to what is it that thus comes and bring our attention to the 10,000 things which are coming and can't be stopped Each thing, each sensation, each sound, each story, each conflict, each troublesome, bothersome, gloriously contented, whatever it is, what is it that thus comes rather than I know what it is.

[07:17]

and this sesheen will be this sesheen rather than compared it to this one and that one and the next one to come. It will be what it is. The December 8th enlightenment day ceremony is commemorates the Buddha's awakening under the Bodhi tree. And that, of course, is a culmination of his spiritual journey and quest and practice path, which began, and many of you know the story. I would bet that everybody knows the story or some version of the story. There's different versions of the Buddha's life story and this part of the Buddha's life.

[08:33]

And this morning I want to just start us out with what turned the Buddha, what the causes and conditions were for him to turn towards the path. And I'll not skip exactly, but condense the Buddha's birth, which is another whole story and legend that many of you know. And his growing up years, he was taken care of very, very well by Mahapajapati, his foster mother, stepmother, foster mother, who was Yasodhara's sister, his mother's sister, his mother died. seven days after he was born. You can imagine that tragedy in that household.

[09:35]

And Gautami, who became Mahapajapati, leader of a great assembly, Mahapajapati, took over the care. And little Gautama was taken care very, very well. And because of the sage who said either this child, kind of a psychic sage who, when seeing this baby, said either he will be a king, a wheel-rolling king, or a great religious person, you know, one or the other. And the family wanted him to take over and be a king and be a great person in that realm. and so anything that would turn him towards a religious life they tried to keep him from seeing unpleasantness anything that I died or hearing about death or illness and these kinds of things sorry Yasodara was the Buddha's wife Queen Maya

[10:54]

was his mother, sorry. Yasodhara was who he married, Gautama. Maya and Suddhodana were his parents. So at a certain point this young man who had been cared for so well and had everything, you know, that he could want did not lack for anything, did not have deprivation of any kind, began to want to, and was kept within the palace, as the legend goes, wanted to kind of see the village, see the city. And the king was a little worried about that, but thought, well, better to have him go and see things that he wants to see, But just like in the Olympics in certain cities, they kind of cleared the streets, you know, moved out what they thought would be difficult to see or homeless people or whatever.

[12:04]

I don't know what was going on, 2,500 years ago in those cities, but probably not so different. People who were poor and destitute, and so they made arrangements to have everything be very nice, very lovely. the townspeople dressed up and banners and he and his charioteer headed out. And then something happened, which as you know the story, there was a person who didn't look like the very happy townspeople but was kind of tottering, using a cane. this man's face was all wrinkly and he was stooped and walking along. And Gautama said to his charioteer, what's that? Who's that? And he said, well, that's an old person.

[13:06]

And he had never seen somebody that old. I think his parents were probably young parents. is that everyone, does everyone grow old or is that just this person's problem, you know? No, no, everyone is subject to old age. And that was extremely strong to hear for Gautama. And he said, I want to go back to the palace and he came back kind of depressed or dejected or reflect on this very sobering, extremely sobering thought that everybody is, and seeing the difficulty that person had, using a cane and so forth. And so it went. As you know, he went out again and saw a sick person and asked, well, what's the matter? The person had signs of not being well, looked terrible, had

[14:14]

rash all over them or something. Oh no, everyone is subject to sickness. And then a person being carried on the way to the funeral pyre. What is that? That's a dead person. Is everyone subject to this? Oh yes, Lord. So these were the messengers, these three messengers. The fourth time Gautama went out, and each time the streets were supposed to be cleared of any disagreeable things to see. But Brahma, I think, sent these messengers. And the fourth messenger was a religious person that Gautama saw sitting in meditation by the side of the road, upright, calm, serene, tranquil, steady, steadfast, Who's that? Oh, this is a religious person practicing their practice.

[15:18]

And at this point it, you know, blossomed or dawned in Gautama's mind, I have to address this situation that we're all in. You mean everybody's in this situation? everyone my wife and all the people of the household and everybody why is everybody wasting their time singing and dancing and eating delicacies and you know gambling and passing the days in pursuits of all sorts of how come people aren't like trembling in their sandals at the reality of this what's going on this was it came in so deep you know the way it does for us too the way it did for Dogen when his mother died when he was seven and he saw the twin tails of the incense smoke coming off the incense as it does you know impermanence sickness

[16:40]

Yes. So this was distilled into a teaching called the Five Remembrances that occur in the Pali Canon, in the Anguttara Nikaya, under suitable meditation subjects. And the five reflections are said to be suitable for everyone. Certain meditation subjects are not suitable to certain people with a certain kind of constitution or, you know, number on the Enneagram or something, you know, a certain way of approaching and interacting with the world. you wouldn't give a particular person a particular subject for meditation in this because it would be harmful in some way.

[17:50]

For example, like a hate type person, you wouldn't give them necessarily the subject of the disintegration of the corpse or something, which is one of these traditional things, because already everything is so, they're already not attached to anything, not bent on attachment, and so to add that kind of a meditation would be very, it's not appropriate, it's not skillful, not appropriate means. But this meditation is appropriate for everyone of any constitution, male, female, old, young, doesn't matter. And these are the five remembrances which many of you know, and I would suggest if you don't know them, these are to be remembered. These are to even recite daily or to reflect on. So the first one is, I am of the nature to grow old.

[18:57]

I cannot escape from growing old. And the second is, I am of the nature to become ill. I cannot escape from becoming ill. Or to have ill health. I cannot escape from this. The third one, third remembrance, I am of the nature to die. I cannot escape from dying. and the fourth one is all that is dear to me and all those that I love are of the nature to change there's no way to escape from being separated from them and the fifth is my actions are my only

[20:08]

belongings. They are the... I cannot escape from my actions. They are the ground on which I stand." So those are the five remembrances. And, you know, they're not hard to remember, you know, from this story of the Buddha and from our own reality, the reality of our life. We see this, I am of the nature. We try not to see it and our culture tries to distract us from seeing I am of the nature to grow old. There are gazillions of magazines and products and procedures to help us to forget or fool people that we are not of the nature to grow old and we don't look old.

[21:11]

I remember being, when I was sent to take care of Nancy Wilson Ross in New York, we were, we went somewhere together to a concert or something and there was a lady in front of us walking, I think she did have a cane, kind of very slowly down aisle and and then she turned around and her face was like a 20 year old and it like it scared me actually you know because from the back how she walked her stoop of her shoulders but then when she turned it was like smooth skin and taut you know and I remember kind of like you know like what is this but but this is something that can be had for you know, you can make an appointment. Tia told me this story, this just occurred to me.

[22:12]

Tia comes from L.A. and has family there and a family member said to her upon seeing her, how can you walk around like, how can you look like that? How can you let yourself, you know, and Tia looks like Tia, you know, of the nature to grow old like the rest of us. But from this person's point of view, it's like, you know, how can you let yourself go like that? I think that might be some people in the industry in L.A. who... Anyway, I am of the nature to grow old. We are of the nature to grow old. We cannot escape. But there's a lot of effort being made to help us. to try and not remember that. And we can look around all the time, our well-being ceremonies, our words from home, our phone calls, our letters.

[23:15]

I am of the nature to be sick. I cannot escape. And we see that all over. And this is painful. This is our life. How to accept that? How to live with that? And I am of the nature to die. I cannot escape from dying. And our memorial services are words from home. And, of course, I met with somebody who has a terminal illness when I was up this last few days. And the person was telling me, unusual it is always knowing of course they that this person was going to die this person always knew but not knowing when and now knowing soon or you know it changes everything and no one can tell you what that's going to feel like and that may not be our

[24:33]

situation, we may die like this in a car accident. We may not have time to reflect and practice with our loved ones, friends and family and the Sangha. Nobody knows. This person sees it, you know, closely. So those three remembrances. And then this fourth remembrance is part of the nature of suffering, to be separated from those we love and to be forced to be with those we don't love. But in this case, it's just this remembering everything I hold dear. Not only people, but objects, pets, landscapes. Everything we hold dear. And all those that we love are of the nature to change.

[25:37]

And that change includes old age sickness and death and other things of the nature to change. I cannot escape from being separate from them. All that comes together will come apart. This is the nature of our life. There's no way to escape from being separated from those we love and their change, their changing. And the last, my actions are my only belongings and I think, you know, not belongings in, you can't have them as objects, kind of that, things that you carry in your pockets or something, but this idea that the consequences of our actions, this is something we can take up, live out our practiced life, not as opposed to these old age sickness and death, but in relation to our actions

[27:07]

we can stand there. Actions are the ground on which we stand. We can stand upright in the midst of our actions of body, speech and mind. We can't escape our actions. So this was the Buddha's beginning you could say the more conscious stepping on the path I think in terms of you know conditions causes and conditions all the causes and conditions you know this isn't out of the blue the the fact that he was so carefully cared for was a condition where these things hit him so strongly you know so conditioned in the way he was, he more consciously set out on his path.

[28:15]

And we will take up the story from there throughout the seshin, which commemorates this path and coming to sitting under the Bodhi tree, which is what we're doing now, sitting under, sitting on our Bodhi manda, our awakening, seat which is everywhere and wherever we are it is but this is a more direct creation of a place to sit down be quiet and gather body and mind in one whole and practice as if this were our last seshin. How about that?

[29:18]

What if we practice as if this is it? There will be no others. You will never have the opportunity again. Some quality in our sitting, and it may be your last etasahara. This may be the only time You will be able to carve out this time in your life to sit at Tassajara. This is it. That quality of this is we sit as if it's our last breath, you know, our last day on earth, our last moment. Can we bring that quality to each each period of zazen, each breath in each period of zazen how will that contrary to be depressing or yeah kind of bringing our spirits down enliven us bring all our energy seared and not to waste time

[30:35]

We don't have time. There's no such thing. That's an idea. That's some idea that we carry around, like... Yeah, that we carry around. So... practice whatever your practice is, whether it's counting the breath, following the breath, shikantaza, just sitting, whether there's a, for some of you, some effort to practice something that might be like loving-kindness or something that addresses some emotional state that you're working with.

[31:40]

Whatever it is, each of us is practicing with posture, breath, and our life energy, body-mind, psychophysicalness. That's it. That's what arises here. That's what's appearing here. You know, we talk about unifying body, breath and mind. We hear that as Zazen is unifying body, breath and mind. So starting with posture, taking good care of our posture, finding our seat each time and our breath begins to calm down as we sit upright when the spine is upright we can breathe more easily especially if our lumbar spine is not pushed way in that will inhibit our breathing so the natural curves of the spine not overdoing the lumbar spine but the curve the natural curve will allow for full breathing and then the

[32:56]

this unifying the body, breath, and mind. Now, I recently spoke with a Tai Chi teacher, and they said something that hit me, which was, they were talking about Tai Chi, but in terms of our Zazen practice, it hit me, which was, they said, where your thoughts go, so goes your Chi. And they were just talking about doing the movements and bringing your thought to the push of the hand, the energy, life force energy, the chi will go and be felt in the hand, or whatever the tai chi form is. But what I thought was, in terms of unifying body, breath, and mind, when we we take our posture carefully carefully and then our mind we allow our mind to go wherever and that you know go with our thoughts elaborate fantasize cat cast about with stories and going over old things in the past

[34:22]

So goes the chi. So goes our life energy. You know, this unified body, breath, and mind means our energy is gathered into one whole. And somehow when this Tai Chi teacher said, where your thoughts go, so go your chi. So goes the chi. Not that we're trying to you know, develop chi as somehow our goal. But I did feel like this unifying in zazen of our body, breath, and mind, this might be something to notice. If our thinking mind and our thoughts are thinking about that which we are actually doing, whether it's you know, bringing our thoughts to our posture, to our breath, bringing our thinking mind to our breath, and noticing as it wanders and coming back, what will we notice about this energy of our

[35:47]

life our life force energy and our unified body breath and mind so I I offer that it's already in our instructions you know either you know we're breathing so the mind follows the breath as a practice or our counting, our counting the breath, and our mind with the counting is following the breath. And as Suzuki Roshi says, out at the end of the exhale, you know, can we find what's there? So in the spirit of Rohatsu Sesshin, and in the spirit of the five remembrances, you know, when we leave Tessahar, those of you who will be leaving, there is so much unrest going on right now in the United States and all over the world.

[37:01]

There have been demonstrations, you know, night after night after night after night in New York and Berkeley, Oakland, Portland, all over, having to do with injustice and racism and outrage at actions born of karmic consciousness, conditioned by years of thinking in a certain way, and self and other, all of it. And it's a serious What's going on is a serious engagement with things that have been going on for years, but it's boiled, it's come to a boil. And we are held in our mountain valley in this container

[38:14]

to practice with all our energy to not waste this precious life, this precious opportunity, rare, given to us and supported through our own karmic actions of body, speech and mind and the actions of others that have allowed us to be here I'm you know I'm speaking to myself encouraging myself to to not take this lightly or in a cavalier kind of way this is what we what we've been given is precious beyond our knowing I think in the reality of our life, of old age sickness and death, and the suffering and sorrow of our family and friends and our life in community and on this planet, not even to bring up the suffering of our planet.

[39:49]

Can we be completely involved, completely absorbed in our activity? Not absorbed and caught in some way, but bringing our full, all of our faculties together as one life. And our thinking mind is not a throwaway, it can go wherever, it can wander, it's fine. There goes our life energy too. So bringing back our thinking mind to the sensation of the body, to our bodies, bring it down, down, you know, from twirling around to relaxing the body and bring thinking, bring If we're going to think, then think about what's actually happening right now rather than our fantasy life.

[40:57]

Or let go and come back. Let go and come back millions and billions of times. Which is all we can do. So practicing together with what is it that thus comes, down to the most subtle of details, sounds, sensations, intuitions, what is it? And as we've been studying what it is, that which thus comes is Buddha Dharma.

[42:20]

It's not things at all. It's the Buddha Dharma that's come, that arises, of which we are. It's this particular unique Buddha Dharma including us. And if it's painful, then we practice with painful. If it's not painful, we practice with not painful. If it's emotionally, mentally, psychologically, physically uneasy and difficult, then we practice with that. This is Buddha Dharma that's come. This is not a mistake that that was meant for somebody else, some other person in the zendo or some other me, last sesheen.

[43:20]

No, this is what's arising now, this is Buddha Dharma right now, and we practice with it. And it doesn't matter whether it's painful or not painful. That is not the point, to get out of our pain. The point is to be able to practice with it as Buddha Dharma, as the truth of our life, and accept life just one life just have one life here so that that's all I want to say thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center our Dharma talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma.

[44:20]

For more information, visit sfcc.org and click Giving.

[44:26]

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