Good morning. Thus have I heard. Once the Lord was staying among the Kurus. There is a market town of theirs called Kama Sadama. And there the Lord addressed the monks. Monks. Lord, they replied. And the Lord said... There is amongst this one way to the purification of beings, for the overcoming of sorrow and distress, for the disappearance of pain and sadness, for the gaining of the right path, for the realization of nirvana. That is to say, the four foundations of mindfulness. Those of us who have been trained in the Zen school haven't been given very much specific information about what to do when we meditate.

[01:11]

Well, at least I haven't. I've heard things like, you know, just sit, and that Zazen is the manifestation of ultimate reality. Yeah. I can remember when I went for zazen instruction at the city center my first arrival there and was in the Buddha hall with about 10 other people and Linda Ruth was giving zazen instruction she was a very young woman at the time was I and she gave the instruction about thumbs and eyes and back and then that was it and I remember thinking in my secret life that's it Where's the instruction? What do we do? Practice what? I was brave enough to ask that question in a class with Dan Welch.

[02:13]

Practice what? He just laughed at me. Practice what? I said, that's right. Practice what? Zen is a lot of fun. I think one of the reasons for this is that the great teachers of Zen who came to America, Taizan Maizumi Roshi, Dainin Katagiri Roshi, and Shunuya Suzuki Roshi, gave us what they thought we needed in order to do just that, to just sit. And that's pretty good, you know? It's been pretty good for over 50 years now. Just sit. And practice what? So I think there's no harm in that, you know, truly. I think it's a wholesome thing that we do, just sitting.

[03:14]

Dogen said that zazen is all that the Buddha taught. Zazen includes all the precepts. And when we're sitting zazen, that is... You know, at the same time, these teachers who came to America were all very well trained in Buddhist doctrine and method and theory. They'd all been to Buddhist universities. They had read the Pali Canon and the Mahayana Sutras and the commentaries, and they had studied the philosophy of the Mahjamaka and the Yogacara. So I think had we been able to ask them if they'd been here long enough we could have asked them questions about the tradition out of which Zen arose and they would have known. They could have told us much, much more. But I think it's up to us now since they've all gone. So before I return to the minimalist teachings of the Zen school I wanted to continue at least for today and tomorrow with some of these old

[04:30]

wisdom teachings from the Pali Canon. And then when we go back to the lineage of the Zen teachers, we can begin to understand perhaps how this old language has been transformed through the course of many centuries into the beautiful language that we know as Zen teaching. So the instruction I want to bring up with you today is from a sutta called the Maha Satipatthana Sutta, the greater discourse on the foundations of mindfulness. In these early teachings, mindfulness, Sanskrit word is sati, mindfulness, as in satibhattana, is the seventh fold of the Eightfold Path. So the Eightfold Path is the fourth step of the Four Noble Truths, the Eightfold Path. So this is the seventh step of the Eightfold Path, is mindfulness, sati. And it's considered a prerequisite or precondition for entering into the eighth fold of the Eightfold Path, which is right meditation, samadhi.

[05:37]

When samadhi, meaning one-pointedness of mind, is sustained over time, it's called jnana. Samadhi sustained over time is jnana. And jnana... is a Sanskrit word out of which the Chinese said chana or chang and the Japanese said zana or zen. So the word zen itself can be traced back to this word jana. Sustained samadhi, one pointedness of mind. I think we all like to think of ourselves in the Buddhist tradition as kind of one big family, you know? And yet what's been happening over the millennia to the language of the teaching is somewhat like what happened when jazz evolved out of Mozart. That's the same notes, but wow.

[06:42]

Different tune. In the old wisdom teachings, mastering jnanas, or sustained samadhi, was considered necessary for accomplishing the arhat path. What was called the noble ones, the arhats. That was the goal of their practice in the old wisdom tradition. Arhats were those who were never going to have to come back here again. They had entered nirvana, meaning extinction, or blown out. And in most of the schools of this old wisdom tradition, jhanas are considered a prerequisite, although there are some vipassana traditions which say, no, not necessary. And they divide themselves between what I understand is called wet vipassana and dry vipassana. Wet vipassana teaches the jhanas. Ayakema was a teacher of jhanas. She taught here at Zen Center.

[07:45]

And dry vipassana... they do not study the jhanas or consider them necessary. And Spirit Rock, our neighbors to the north in Marin, are a driver possible. I understand. So the jhanas are described in beautiful poetic detail in the old suttas. There's a sutta called the Potapada Sutta, States of Consciousness, beautiful to read. And another one, the Samanafala Sutra, the fruits of the homeless life. portions of which i'm going to read to you tomorrow all of these are available in our beautiful little library by the way we have an extraordinary library here very lucky and a really fun thing to do there is to read the names of people who checked out the books wow that was way back suzuki roshi well i don't know but anyway many old names old friends So it's been pretty well understood throughout the entire Buddhist tradition that we meditators cannot simply open a door and step onto the Eightfold Path.

[08:52]

Instead, we have to negotiate a way that confronts the various obstacles that block us from proceeding. Our hindrances, they're also called hindrances, such as our old views, our old behaviors, our old habits. You know, the way we like to do things, because it's the only way we know. My way. And that's all the stuff that goes on inside of our minds as we sit, because I know that because you tell me so. And I know that because it's true for me as well. Hindrances. In Zen we use the image of clouds blocking the moon, covering the moon. So much of the Buddha's teaching is not concerned so much with walking the Eightfold Path as it is with finding the Eightfold Path. just as the young prince had done in the later days of his search for enlightenment, when he said, so I too found an ancient path, an ancient trail traveled by the fully enlightened ones of old.

[09:55]

So it was a discovery, a discovery we too are trying to make, you know, in the same way. Unlike the Buddha, we have these nice little breadcrumbs that have been laid out for us to follow, you know. He left traces in the form of words and teachings. for us. We're very lucky in that way. So one highly recommended method for clearing away the appearance of obstacles in our minds is through the sincere intention to engage in ethical conduct. Shila. Shila, ethical conduct. Precepts. There are three main trainings that the Buddha repeats again and again in the old wisdom teachings. Shila is the first, ethics. The second is concentration, samadhi, and the third is wisdom, prajna. Now, Shiva is listed first in the tradition I'm sharing with you these days. In Zen, we start with prajna, wisdom, and work, hopefully, toward precepts.

[11:03]

But the original understanding was until you've cleaned up your act, and gotten rid of some of those shameful thoughts based on shameful actions from your past. Shameful by your view, you know, not what others think of you, it's what you think of yourself that's blocking your view. So until these are cleared, it's hard to concentrate, you know, when you're thinking about that mean thing you said or that stuff you took or that, you know, harmful action or whatever it is. it's very hard to settle and concentrate. So it's very practical. Ethics are very practical, along with helping you in your social life as well. So to promote the practice of ethical conduct, which includes things such as obvious things, such as honesty and generosity and kindness and respect for others, compassion, we actually recite a remarkable verse during the Bodhisattva initiation ceremony.

[12:05]

For those of you who have either attended one or received precepts yourself. In the ceremony we say, in faith that we are Buddha, we enter Buddha's way. In faith that we are Buddha, Prajna, the highest understanding, we enter Buddha's way. So this isn't just stepping on the path, you know. This is actually stepping on the path at the finish line. We are Buddha, and therefore we enter Buddha's way. So this word faith, shrada, is akin to a Latin word which means heart, wholehearted, wholehearted way. And so with our whole heart, we return again and again to our commitments, to our posture, to our intention, to our breath, and to our vows. If we were training in the old wisdom tradition, and developing right concentration, which is the second of these three trainings, after a great effort, we might enter into prajna, into wisdom, the third training.

[13:14]

And at that point, this aspect of wisdom would appear called nirvana, at which time all of our suffering would come to an end. By entering nirvana, you now are designated an arhat, a noble one, and never to return to this suffering world. Now, arhat is also an epithet for the Buddha himself. He was an arhat. So it's not like a bad thing. It's a very good thing, and it's a very difficult thing to achieve in one lifetime, to enter into this noble path of the arhat. In fact, in our echo this morning, I noticed the kokyo chanting, you know, to all the sixteen arhats and all those on the noble path. So, in our tradition, we honor the path of the arhat, those who have extinguished their suffering and will not return. However, it's not considered equivalent to the full enlightenment of a Buddha.

[14:20]

So, it's around this distinction between an arhat and a Buddha that the path of practice within the Buddhist tradition began to diverge. So on track one toward personal liberation is the Arhat path, and it's referred to by the other track, track two, as the Heniana, or the lesser vehicle. So track two, the Mahayana, it values itself because it vows not to attain nirvana until everyone else has attained nirvana first. So after you. The vow to save all beings before oneself. Now this is selflessness. After you. You first, please. Women and children first. And everybody else. So I think we know quite well that the traveler along that path is called the Bodhisattva. So there is in the Mahayana literature a very interesting description of the effort that's required for bodhisattva not to slip onto the arhat path because it's very tempting to get out of here.

[15:41]

No more of this coming and going. Loss and gain. Inside and outside. Birth and death. Enough. So the image that's given for this effort that's required by the Bodhisattva is of a master archer shooting one arrow after another into the shaft of the previous arrow before it can hit the ground. Reminded me of Legolas, Lord of the Rings, you know. I think he could probably do it. So it's a very powerful draw, this extinction. And so the Bodhisattva vow has to be equally strong to resist. that temptation to leave, to be gone. One of the two extreme views, extinction. The other is for eternal life. Those are the two extremes. Eternal or none. All or nothing.

[16:43]

Avoid the extremes. Follow the middle way. So a lot has been written about the rise of the Hamahayana within the Buddhist monastic communities of ancient India, which is where it appeared. And it seems to have had something to do with this perennial effort that humans seem to make to want to return to the purity of the old days, to the teachings and practices of the Buddha, wanting to clear away all of the accretions that have piled up by generations of monastics writing their own rules about how the monastery should work and how it should be run. It would be like a, well, we kind of did, we'd throw out the Shingi, but we wrote our own. So there was a new writing of the Shingi, a refreshing of the rules and the approach. It happened again and again, and humans do this, you know, it's kind of something we like to do, reinvent the wheel. So I want to share with you today some of the elements of the old wisdom teaching which are foundational

[17:46]

not just for the old wisdom practitioners, but also for monks and for laity and for the Mahayana Bodhisattva practitioners as well. And those are shamatha and vipassana, calming the mind, shamatha, tranquility, and vipassana, insight, discerning the real. Shamatha, vipassana. In all Buddhist traditions, these two together when they're brought together and actualized, form the practice that leads to liberation. In the old wisdom teachings, there's very elaborate details recorded for entering into meditative tranquility, shamatha, which is considered the first step in order to enter the path of insight, vipassana. So first you calm down, and then you can see what's going on. The Maha Satipatthana Sutra is a well-known theoretical elaboration of the path to both calming and to insight.

[18:52]

It's highly regarded in the old wisdom traditions. The Vapassana communities, which are all over where I live and in many places in the country and the world, are very familiar with the Maha Satipatthana Sutra and they do the practices that are outlined there quite faithfully. However, there's a caution that has echoed down through the centuries regarding theories. And that is that in the same way we don't confuse theories about buoyancy with the experience of swimming, we mustn't confuse theories of meditation with the experience of actual sitting. So people tell me sometimes they've been reading a lot about meditation. I thought, huh, great. I like science fiction myself, space travel. I once said to some people, this was a while ago, I can't wait until we get into outer space and find out what's there.

[19:58]

And my friend said, my name is Nancy. Nancy, we are in outer space. So... Although theoretical learning can help to prepare the ground for a new understanding, it's just not a substitute. It can't take the place. Theories alone won't get you there. In fact, theoretical learning can actually clog your mind and prevent you from finding the body's natural ability to float. In fact, the best advice I can give to you about this whole approach to training is to lighten up to relax. I mean, that's the best way to float. That's the best way that I've found to meditate. Relax. Do it again. I went around this morning and had, I'm sorry if I startled anybody, but I had a chance to touch you.

[21:03]

You're wonderful and interesting. Every one of you gives me some interesting information. Contact. Contact is the step before feelings. I had feelings, you had feelings, contact. And our secret life. Things are happening. So I think the main thing I was trying to convey to you was to relax. Relax. And I think sometimes we act like a sky book's going to keep us up, you know. We pull up our shoulders and try very hard to get away from the discomfort in our legs, but... I've found over the decades that relax actually works a little better. Just relax. You know, and besides, these teachings are really just some sounds that are passing through your ears. Quickly.

[22:06]

Nothing to hold on to. Nothing to worry about. As the Shiso will say to us all at the end of the ceremony, please wash out your ears in the thunderous roar of the Tassahara Creek. Don't worry about it. I mean, we're really just here to sit together and to listen to a few stories from our family lore. I read a very interesting little tidbit about Buddhist history just about a couple weeks ago before I came down. And originally when the Buddha Sangha sat together with the Buddha, they were in silence. There was just this large congregation of monks sitting in a circle around the Buddha, completely silent. But then visitors would come and they kind of, you know, were there to meet the Buddha or learn something and nothing was happening. And so they complained to the Buddha. They said, well, this is really boring, you know. And so the Buddha told the monks that from now on there were going to be lectures.

[23:11]

And he was going to teach them and the visitors. So he began to speak regularly and give talks. So that's where these came from, in case you're wondering. So one of the lectures he gave is the one called The Greater Discourse on the Foundations of Mindfulness. In the Mahasatipatthana Sutta, there are four different foundations or frames of reference, as one of the scholars calls them, to show the meditator where and how to focus their attention. So frames of reference. So it's kind of a boundary circle of water for you to focus your attention within the boundaries of the imagined but nevertheless beneficial use of your mind's ability to boundary. The first focus of attention is on the body in and of itself and the second is on feelings in and of themselves. The third on thoughts within the mind in and of themselves and the fourth on on mental qualities related to the path of practice.

[24:15]

In other words, the content of your thinking. But not any old content of your thinking. The content of your thinking that's related to practice. So the first one, mindfulness of the body, this term in and of itself means that One of these frames of reference is simply to be observed as it appears in the present moment. So if the one you're thinking, you know, you're assigning yourself to is the body, then as the body appears in the present moment, that's what he means by in and of itself. The appearance of the body right now. You're focusing on this element of your existence called the body. How is it appearing to you right now? Okay. So... For example, mindfulness of the body is experienced from what it's like to be you, like this is me, this is my body, rather than some image of yourself, you know, for example, doing work around the house. So it's actually a completely embodied sense of presence, my body.

[25:20]

So when at the time that you're focusing on the body and a feeling or a thought, comes into your experience, you relate those feelings or thoughts to the body. Like, where is this feeling? Where is this thought? Trying to find it in relation to this image you're holding of the body. For example, the feeling of fear, you know, where is it located in your body? And I notice it around my throat contracting and my heart starts to feel really, you know, active in my chest. So then I think, ah, I'm scared. This is fear. Or how about restlessness or drowsiness or ill will or lust or doubt? Where are those located in your body? These are the five hindrances or obstructions to concentration. So...

[26:26]

The sutta says, the mind disturbed by the hindrances will never know its true nature. The mind disturbed by fear, restlessness, drowsiness, ill will, lust, or doubt will never know its true nature. So clearing away these hindrances is what makes these ethics or precepts so important to our practice. And the antidote to the hindrances within the frame of reference is to return to the body, fear to the body, and so on. So the example of how to do this is if you imagine yourself holding an object like the cantaloupe, for example, you know, with two hands that you've taken out of a bowl of fruit that has lots of different kinds of fruit. While you're holding the cantaloupe, you notice that there's all those other choices you could be making, you know, bananas and oranges and grapes. But you keep holding the cantaloupe with your hands. This is how you maintain mindfulness of the body in the same fashion.

[27:31]

You continue to hold the one you've got here. Focus, concentrate. Here's a short reading from a subsection of mindfulness of the body called mindfulness of breathing, which is the one that we are mostly trained in, you know, the beginning training for Zen instruction is, you know, pay attention to your breathing. Although I was also told if you want to, you know, so... It's a free country. Oh, how, O monks, does a monk abide contemplating the body as a body? Here a monk, having gone into the forest or to the root of a tree or to an empty place, sits down cross-legged, holding the body erect, having established mindfulness before them. Mindfully breathing in. and mindfully breathing out. Breathing in a long breath, the monk knows he breathes in a long breath.

[28:33]

Breathing out a long breath, he knows he breathes out a long breath. Breathing in a short breath, she knows that she breathes in a short breath. And breathing out a short breath, she knows that she breathes out a short breath. She trains herself thinking, I will breathe in, conscious of the whole body. He trains himself thinking, I will breathe in, calming the whole bodily process. She trains herself thinking, I will breathe out, conscious of the whole body. He trains himself thinking, I will breathe out, calming the whole bodily process. One of the things I like about the old wisdom teachings in particular is that the sound of them is a little bit like a lullaby. I mean, the language itself is soothing. It's nice to read the old wisdom sutras out loud. So this next short reading comes right after this one, and it's called insight. So you do this practice with the breath, and as a result, an insight occurs.

[29:38]

What's the point of it? You have an insight. So calming, you calm the whole body in breath and out-breath, and now you have this insight, which is described like this. This is the payoff. So she abides contemplating body as body internally, contemplating body as body externally, contemplating body as body both internally and externally, inside, outside. He abides contemplating the arising of phenomena in the body. He abides contemplating vanishing phenomena in the body. He abides contemplating both the arising and the vanishing of phenomena in the body. Mindfulness that there is a body is present to her just to the extent necessary for knowledge and awareness without any elaboration. Just this is it. No mental elaboration. And so she abides independent, not clinging to anything in the world.

[30:40]

And that, monks, is how a monk abides contemplating the body as the body. So this is the not clinging of the Four Noble Truths. Not clinging is the cessation of suffering. So the same style of instruction is given for other aspects of the body, including posture. And also there's an instruction for meditation on other bodies that are dead. So you can go to a charnel ground and meditate on various stages of decay of the body, all the way down to bones. And this was intended to break the hold that lust had on the young monks. You know, watching the body's decay kind of interfered with lustful thoughts. I think it was pretty effective. Well, for a while maybe. Mindfulness of feelings. The second foundation of mindfulness is mindfulness of feelings.

[31:44]

Okay, so we've had mindfulness of the body, number one, not mindfulness of feelings, number two. Feelings come in three basic flavors. There's positive feelings, negative feelings, and indifferent or nondescript or confused feelings. You don't really know if you like it or not. Lord, how does the monk keep her mind steadfastly on feelings? The monk who follows my teaching, when experiencing a pleasant feeling, knows that a pleasant feeling is experienced, knows when an unpleasant feeling is experienced, knows when neither a pleasant or unpleasant feeling is experienced. Having kept her mind steadfastly on feelings experienced by herself, she can be said to keep her mind steadfastly on the feelings experienced by others. So by knowing your feelings, you can begin to have empathy for the feelings of others. You know, oh, that's what, it's painful. That's really painful. You know, that loss was painful when someone's mother passes away.

[32:48]

So I know that, and I can now understand how others feel when they have the same experience. And with further concentration, she can perceive the cause and actual appearance of feelings, how they arise. Unbitten from the dark, right? Out of nowhere. And also the dissolution of feeling with their cause, reabsorption into the nowhere. In this way, the monk remains detached from craving and wrong views without clinging to any of the five skandhas that are always deteriorating, like snowflakes on a hot iron skillet. In this way, perceiving their true nature the true nature of being, impermanent. So the next one, mindfulness of thoughts. The third foundation of mindfulness is mindfulness of thoughts.

[33:49]

So these foundations or frames of reference are given in order of their subtlety. So the body is the least subtle. It's easiest for us to notice the body and the pain, you know, knees, back, hunger. Feelings are next. Feelings are pretty obvious. For some people not. But for most people, you know when you're angry or upset or lustful. But thoughts are kind of tricky because we sort of get lost in them. They're carried away. As though, you know, they're just the same as us. What I'm thinking is me. And of course it's true. Whatever I'm thinking. Must be true. I'm thinking. So the third foundation of mindfulness, mindfulness of thoughts, In this section, the Buddha is telling the monks how to focus on the true nature of their minds. And this is done in very much the same way as they were taught to focus on feelings and on the body. First, they're instructed to know that the mind accompanied by thoughts of passion, anger, or confusion.

[34:53]

So what's happening in your mind? Connected to your feelings. Next, they're told to notice when the mind is lazy or distracted thoughts are present. Or when no thoughts are present. or when thoughts are undeveloped, immature, or when they're developed, or whether the mind is concentrated or not concentrated, whether it's free or bound. By coming to know the content of one's own mind, the monk can then realize the minds of others, which must be a similar nature. And finally, the monk realizes the cause for the appearance of the mind and the dissolution of the mind. And when he realizes there is only mind, mind only, without soul or person, the insight into selflessness. So this is the second mark of conditioned existence. The first one we heard about is impermanence, and now we're hearing about selflessness. No soul, no person, mind only. In this way, the monk becomes detached from craving and wrong views without clinging to any of the five skandhas that are continuously deteriorating.

[36:02]

So the last one is the objects of mind relating to practice. So this is the most subtle and therefore difficult to sustain and it requires a really high state of concentrated awareness that you might begin to experience in the later days of Zeshin when your minds are able to settle and focus and hold steady. In this frame of reference one can turn one's attention to either the present the presence or the absence of the objects of mind relevant to path of practice. And those elements are the hindrances, which I named earlier, desire, ill will, sloth or torpor, worry and flurry, and doubt, or the five aggregates, the skandhas, we chant in the Heart Sutra, form, feeling, perception, impulse, consciousness, meditating on those, are you aware of them, are you not aware of them? The twelve ayatanas, which are an elaboration of the five aggregates, Basically, the sense consciousnesses, six sense consciousnesses, plus the six objects of the sense consciousnesses.

[37:14]

Try to say that really fast. It's really hard to say. Anyway, there's 12. And then there's the seven factors of enlightenment, those being mindfulness, investigation of mental and bodily phenomena, energy, delight, tranquility, concentration, and equanimity. I want to say these again. These are the seven factors of enlightenment. Mindfulness, investigation of mental and bodily phenomena, energy, delight, tranquility, concentration, and equanimity. And then the last object of awareness that occurs within this fourth frame of reference is the four noble truths. Kitchen. Thank you. So my current understanding is that the role that sati, or mindfulness, plays is basically to open the contents of our experiential field.

[38:17]

To actually, like the pasture that Suzuki Roshi talks about, you know. Give the monk a wide pasture. But don't ignore them. Pay attention to them. So this is the same instruction. Give your mind a wide open field. Lots of space. But don't ignore it. You know, pay attention to what arises in that spaciousness. And by contemplating the arising and vanishing of each type of object that appears in the field, we can come to experientially, not just theoretically, know how bodily and mental states are both impermanent and selfless, and therefore how they lead to suffering. So this is basically your own experiential proving ground of the three truths of conditioned existence. They're impermanent because you see it. They're not self because you can't find it. And it leads to suffering because mistaking impermanent things and mistaking a self which can get a hold of them is the cause of your suffering.

[39:21]

So we're trying to dismantle this whole structure here. As the Buddha said, I found you house builder. You will not build your house again. This is the house. This realization lessens the mesmerizing character of our experience so that pleasant events are seen as fleeting rather than permanently satisfactory and unpleasant encounters are seen as temporary setbacks rather than deeply upsetting defeats of a lifetime. So we're basically putting things in proportion. And the result of that is a maturing and liberative cognitive transformation. In other words, A grown-up. Buddha was a grown-up. He was an adult. A mature adult man. You know? Very nice, probably very nice to meet. So according to the early teachings, each of the four foundations of mindfulness is sufficient for bringing about such realizations.

[40:28]

So any one of these will do. You can pick body, if that's a good one for you. Feelings. thoughts or the content of your thinking, the teachings themselves. And the basic point of this training is to build up your mind muscles. If you do this over and over again, you practice again and again, you can come to your breathing more steadily and regularly. And you can develop your concentration. And there are three innate qualities that each of us is born with that helps us in this endeavor. And those are effort. We all know how to make an effort. We can do things. We can trot. You know? Alertness. Good morning. We all have alertness. And remembering. We can't stop. So we remember. So effort, remembering, and alertness are the three tools. And mindfulness. So mindfulness remembers where the mind is supposed to be focused on my breathing.

[41:29]

Okay? And alertness notices when the mind has drifted somewhere else. And then energy keeps making effort to bring it back. So this is our practice. It's like making bread. You know, things happen and then the bread goes out here and you bring it back to the middle over and over again. You keep bringing it back. Push down. Bring it back. So according to the commentary of the sutra, these three qualities help to seclude the mind from preoccupation with the senses and with unskillful mental qualities, thus bringing the mind to the first jhana, sustained samadhi. And that's what I want to talk about tomorrow, is the teaching about concentration, samadhi, jhana. And before I end for today, I wanted to bring another suggestion or instruction for our community practice together, other than the ones I've mentioned so far about deporting ourselves in the Zendo and on our way to the Zendo, which I talked about.

[42:38]

So I really don't want to tell you anything about how you should behave outside of the Zendo or when you're not on your way to the Zendo, but I do want to suggest that the practices you're doing here are are for the benefit of transforming your lives all the time. So how you behave when you're alone, or when you're alone around other people, imagining you're alone, is really what the point of all of this is about, is to help you to open up your life to the relationships you have, not only with yourself, inside your own quietness of your own room or your own space, but also inside yourself when others are there. feeling you, experiencing you. You know, we really aren't alone. So this effort is to extend and transform our way of living in the world. We came here to, I hope, I think, I did. I came here to change. You know? I think that's what I can do. And I hope it's happening.

[43:41]

Seems like it. I don't feel quite the same as I did when I first walked through the door and sat there looking at Linda Ruth, going like, who is this? Who is this person? I was a pretty feisty young woman in those days. Well, maybe I still am, but I try. I'm trying. Trying to behave. Anyway, so one of the things I thought of doing at Green Gulch was, you know, having a surprise room search. I'm not search, but... search but inspection you know I just go and open the doors and then whoa look at this the reason I wanted to do that is because one of the young monks who I was really concerned about didn't show up one morning I was really worried about him so I went to look at his room and it was like oh my god no wonder he's not well I mean laundry and the bed was just like a mess and you know the whole thing I was kind of like oh my goodness

[44:49]

where was his mother? I mean, what happened here? This is like, I just felt so sad. Like I really wanted to, but I didn't want to be mean. And I thought, boy, if I start doing this, you know, the monks are going to get really unhappy. And I'd much rather the monks be happy than they tidy up their rooms, to tell you the truth. So I gave up the idea of room inspections. But But still, the invitation for you to take care of your living space is really a sincere one I want to make to you. And here's why. It's for you. It's not for somebody else. It's not for somebody to come and go like, oh, my goodness. It's not my opinion that matters about anything. It's how do you feel about taking care of your space and yourself. This is your life and your body, and that's your nest that you'll come home to. How do you want your nest to be, to welcome you? So it reminded me of a time I was back east. I was sent by Zen Center to live with a woman named Nancy Wilson Ross who had a lot of what she called high-style friends in New York.

[45:58]

I mentioned to you the folks who came and picked her up in their jet plane. That was her, Nancy. Anyway, once a week she would walk up and down the lanes of... the town where she lived, called Old Westbury, Long Island, a beautiful old part of the world. And there'd been these grand estates, but it all kind of filled in with housing subdivisions by this time, golf courses. And so we'd go along, and I'd carry a basket, and she would take these clippers, and she'd clip these beautiful vines and flowering bushes and berries, and she'd fill up the basket, and then she'd spend... an hour or so, arranging all these vases, which then I took and put around her rather large house in all the different sitting rooms and the bedrooms and stuff. And so I finally asked her, you know, Nancy, why do you go to all this trouble? We have no visitors coming this week or next week. And she said, Nance, these aren't for them.

[47:00]

These are for us. This is for us. So maybe the sweetest lesson I got from Nancy was that one. This is for us. Taking care of our home and our personal homes and our collective homes and the world in the same way. It's for us to enjoy and to care for. And thank you all very much for your great efforts.

[47:27]

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