This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Probably not so obvious too, but I'm actually working my way through Vendala. The next piece says, when you let go, the Dharma fills your hands. How could it be defined by one or many? So yesterday I used this term reckless and shameless and of course in the context of the discipline and devotion of sushi it's a little bit like saying with close attention directed attention to the end here be reckless and shameless about what arises

[01:27]

letting go of certain ingrained inhibitions that have arisen in our conditioned existence and then have come to perfume, influence our involvement in practice. Many years ago, about 20 years ago, there was a visiting professor. He was a professor at Berkeley, Dr. Jaini, professor in Abhidhamma in Sanskrit. And it was in the summer, and he gave a talk in the dining room. As you know, in the dining room, it's very close, you know? For those of you giving the voice-seeking mind talks, you know, you have people arms reach away from you. So Dr. Jung, he was sitting there and his wife was with him and she was sitting beside him.

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A wonderful person he was. Dignified, professorial. Ask him a question about Sanskrit and he would give you an exquisite, you know, thoroughly educated response. So he was sitting there And he said, he started off and he said, you know, no matter how often I have sex with my wife, sooner or later, I get interested in doing it again. Exactly. And there's this poor wife sitting right beside me. And they're both in their 70s. They weren't hip, you know, 20s.

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Reckless and shameless. The wonderful juxtaposition between a surprising statement, a disclosing statement, and the commitment to observing and acknowledging what is. Whatever arises for us is what's rising. Our usual conventions or habitual mind may have its own inclination to respond one way or another.

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A kind of reckless, Our shame was, is that so? A matter of fact. And as I was saying yesterday, when we start to engage like this, It's like the realm of the Dharma lightens. And whatever notion we have about in our devotion, we need to offer up to awareness some pure offering. The vast array of human experience.

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could it be any other way as I said yesterday how could part of you how could you get enlightened or accept your left arm it needs to be cut off we open and in the opening Oh, by the way, I don't remember a single thing he said after that. I'm sure it was exquisitely well-formulated and crafted teaching on Abhidhamma. But I do remember looking at his wife after he said it and marveling at them both. Wonderful.

[07:19]

The opening brings something forth. The directed attention brings forth what's received. And looking in our being at this way of engaging. So over the days I've been adding, okay, what's happening now? Notice, acknowledge, contact, experience. remembering that the human condition most of the time is in the throes of subjective creation.

[08:42]

And while there is a significant request for discipline, a significant request for paying attention, for staying present. If it becomes even subtly about control or suppression, that dulls the very attention, that dulls the consciousness that we try to eliminate. I hear Dogen say, open and it comes alive. And your mind might say, oh, how brave Dr. Jaini. Oh, how inappropriate. Maybe that's a shingy violation. Whatever.

[09:57]

It'll... gauging in an upright way what arises in the moment brings something to life. And this is the notion that dogma starts to play with. In this bringing something to life, he says, Buddhas continuously dwell in and maintain this state. Bringing something to light. There's a word in Buddhism, kaya, which sometimes translated as state, but it's a realm of being because it's an interactive, as everything is, it's an interactive creation. Buddhas continuously dwell in this.

[11:03]

And we can start to watch. It starts to become apparent, you know, as we see it, settling this machine in our yogic capacity to bring something to life. You may notice you're sitting down on your cushion. You feel achy. Your mind's not so clear. You feel tired. And then you start to sit and something starts to shift. A different realm of being starts to come forth. And I would say to you on practical terms, it's helpful to explore this craft, this kind of involvement. Not to say it has some particular form, or not to say that we need to be able to remedy this state with this state.

[12:15]

We need to be able to remedy distracted tiredness with upright clarity. But just to say, in experiencing it, in experiencing becoming the force of that energy, something is realized. If it's not practiced, it's not manifest. When it is manifest, it can be experienced and realized. And as we start to settle into Shashi, we can dwell. We can take it with us. can notice losing it. When it's a little unfamiliar, we can lose it and forget.

[13:24]

We forget the little telltale marks of it. And as we continue, we can start to keep these telltale marks close. We can tell the difference between walking in the body, emphasizing walking, rather than getting somewhere. It's a simple practice. It starts to show us and illustrate for us and give us a taste of this state of being.

[14:32]

And when they say state of being, this realm of being, it doesn't have a fixed form. No, it's a process. It's about involvement. When Duggan says, when you open, it fills you. He's not saying, and the thoughts that are going to come to mind are this, this, and this. And the formula is, if you want to be present in the dining room, talk about sex. Once we get to that, we've totally lost it. the fundamental message. But as we start the course in Chisín, as we start the course in its particularities, discovering and attending to and learning from the little details of involvement,

[15:50]

what they create, the body sensibility they create, the mental sensibility they create. And Dovyan says, and Buddhas, those wonderful Buddhas, get everything right, continuously dwell and maintain this state. Now, those sentient beings, well, they constantly function in and use this state, yet it does not appear in their perception. Without awareness, this involvement in what is is not perceived. We're always creating something.

[16:52]

We're always in the throes. This is the urgency of the subjective state. And when the creation is open to it, it's filled with dharma. When the mind is entranced by it, something is just simply not apparent. So as we enter into the depth of the shi, this is the inquiry. What is it?

[18:00]

How is it to bring alive awareness? Enter and flow and move with it. What is that subtle working of conditioned existence where something is let go? We study that in a hundred different ways. We let go of the story that has arisen for us in Zanzang. We let go of the subtle holding in the body that's contracting the breath. says we let go and Dharma fills our hands.

[19:09]

Dharma fills our mind. So this is what we study. We study how to walk from your cabin to the baths embodied in walking. And there's an interesting relationship between the embodiedness and the permission. And almost all of us struggle with that. In some ways, we do everything wrong first.

[20:20]

We try to control, we try to suppress, we try to create the result that we know has to happen. And as we do that, we get the reminders. Open and it fills your hand. And then in this exploration, we learn something about staying close. In the language of Buddhism, I'm not quite sure where this term came up first. I think quite early.

[21:24]

There's a term called leaking. The notion is this, for those of you who don't know, and I know many of you do. In that state, in that state of aware involvement, There is an energy. It's the natural involvement of engaging what is. And the licking is, in contrast to opening and abiding, something's grasped. Usually some there and then. Sometimes suddenly, sometimes blatantly. And that energy of awareness dissipates.

[22:34]

And often that's part of what's going on for us when we... when we feel tired the energy has dissipated something came up for us and we got caught up in sometimes it's very obvious it's something in your life that preoccupies you attraction or aversion you know desire or dread anyway in terms of the energy that's not the significant part it's the way it's related to the opening is replaced by grasping and that you know to put it almost poetically

[23:45]

falls out of shundita. Instead of being a fluid, interactive creation of the moment, it becomes solid. And in the terminology of Buddhism, this reifying, this solidifying, this struggling with is called leaking. And, of course, the danger for us is, you know, it's a pejorative notion, you know, this way, oh, well, all the Buddhas are doing this, all the fools are doing this, you know? Okay, which side am I on? And this is why we need to be shameless and reckless and admit to ourselves, uh, me? I'm all over the place.

[24:46]

Sometimes I'm right there with the Buddhas holding them both by the hand. And sometimes, well, it's a whole other story. And then we open to that. Notice, acknowledge, contact, experience. David Wagner's poem. When you're lost, ask the bushes or the flowers or the birds. They're not lost. When you're lost, open your eyes, open your ears, feel the body. It's breathing. So we engage this process. Recognizing that it is so.

[25:49]

This is the nature of consciousness. But we don't layer on top of it some morality. We don't layer on top of it some success and failure. We remind ourselves, everything's a teaching. This arising state of consciousness has causes and conditions. How come it arose just like this? Here it is. There's that humility to it. There's a formless yogic energetic involvement and there's a compassionate humility to the karmic formations.

[26:49]

And as Dogen says, only in the doing does this start to become alive and only in the doing does it teach. Is it realized? This is the activity of all the Buddhas. This whole art of practice I'm talking about allows all things to exist in enlightenment and enables us to live on the path of emancipation. As we stay close, There's the energetic involvement that I'll talk about in a minute. But the Dharma, the arising insights are closer when we stay close to what's being experienced.

[28:12]

And as the dharmic insights are closer, the propositions of our karmic being You lose some, sometimes all, of their authority. But even when the two are mixed together, there's a benevolence to it. these arisings, you know, we can start to notice, oh, usually this arising has this kind of weight. It has this kind of determination. It has this kind of endorsement.

[29:14]

But when we're close to this realm of awareness, we can start to notice it's lighter. Look at that. In the factors of Abhidhamma, it's close like this. One of the factors it says, it's translated into English as wieldy, which is a word, of course, we never use. We use unwieldy. Well, guess what? Wieldy is the opposite of unwieldy. The arising formation can be addressed. Not only can we have the sentiment, oh, look at that. We can actually look at it. Oh, yeah.

[30:21]

It's arising like this. And rather than it being narrow and fixed, we can explore it. This affords us a certain accommodation of our own makeup. And it's different from going beyond, you know, going beyond all ideas. But in that, attending to the ideas, attending to the perspectives, the associated emotions there's an acknowledgement an insightful acknowledgement of our own human conditioning and and we get this you know teaching that we have it's both real

[31:41]

unreal there it is this comes up for me and at times it just takes hold it speaks with authority it runs the show yeah and now in this realm of awareness I can see that but it's not the whole story It's also unreal. An example I like to offer in this is the sun going around the earth. Nope. We know the sun goes around the earth. But how do we relate to the sunrise, the sun and the sky and the sunset? We have karmic And in that subjective state, you know, the sun is rising, the day's beginning.

[33:00]

Hallelujah. How wonderful. The sun is setting. The day is drawing quietly to a close, especially if you've got some reddish clouds around. Real and unreal. And how when the mind is in this wielding state, it's not an either or. It's not a many or a one. It's not the suchness of being or the particulars of karmic constructs. It's not an either or. It's a both and.

[34:00]

And we are cultivating the ground of emptiness. We're seeing directly, we're experiencing the implications of conditioned existence. Right there in the workings of our own life. the urgencies of what has to happen or stop happening you know either in terms of our sincere practice or in terms of the agendas of our karmic life we see them both and in that seeing there's

[35:22]

in emancipation. Neither set of dictates has absolute truth. this disposition. This wholehearted practice I'm talking about allows all things to exist in enlightenment and enables us to live out oneness in the path of emancipation. start to taste it.

[36:35]

When you're just walking there is nowhere to go. There's just now. And karmically there is somewhere to go. both have their offering and neither is absolute. And engaging that moment with body and breath, engaging that moment body stays balanced it stays balanced it stays fluid and it breathes and by the time you've done all that you don't have time to figure out where you're going

[37:54]

Staying close. Entering, abiding, returning. And can we sprinkle these awareness practices throughout the day? Can they involve themselves in just the everyday activity and can there be this giving over reckless and shameless can there be this giving over

[39:07]

Not knowing. Maybe so. Can there be this initiating directed attention and this embracing receptive attention? And can we remind ourselves? And we attitudinally not let things be outside of it. With fixed ideas. And bringing the body into this. You know, as Dougie earlier says, an upright city is the mark of it. Upright sitting is, as I was saying, not leaning into, not leaning out of, but the other side of upright sitting is embodied.

[40:19]

It's entering the realm of direct experiencing. It's breathing in the realm of direct experiencing. Such is the nature of how we're wired, this becomes... crucial element. But we'll keep it secret from the kitchen because they might not make lunch if we go. My apologies. I'll repeat it all again tomorrow. I'll save that for tomorrow.

[41:47]

Here's one of the translations of the last sentence of this paragraph. When we break through the barrier. Something in our own karmic formation that we're insisting upon upholding. Yeah, I like the notion of let it go. Let it drop away. That's how Kaz translates it. Dropping off. Dropping off in this way. We're no longer concerned with conceptual distinctions. Let me end and stay with this poem.

[43:01]

What? Is that another Shingi violation? I'm about to make it plausible. Entering into the realm of being You know, so here's Shane Massini, he offers a proposition, you know, of entering into a realm of being, you know, and playing with time, you know. The craft of the poet, taking a word and doubling it back on itself. And sometime, make the time. Sometime make the time. Is that what we do?

[44:06]

And sometime make the time to drive out west into County Clare. Each moment has its specificity. And sometime make the time to drive out west into County Clare. Along the flaggy shore. In September or October when the wind and the light are working off each other so that the ocean on one side is wild with foam and glitter and inland among the stones the surface of the slate gray lake is lit by the earth's lightning of a flock of swans. The earth's lightning of a flock of swans, their feathers rough and ruffling White on white. They're fully grown, headstrong looking heads. Tucked or cresting or busy underwater.

[45:09]

Useless to think you'll park and capture it more thoroughly. Cannot be grasped. You can participate fully. You cannot put it in your pocket and take it away with you. Useless to think you'll part and capture it more thoroughly. You're neither here nor there. Hopefully sometimes we manage to be here. You're neither here nor there, a hurry through which known and strange things pass. As big buffetings come, the scar sideways and catch the heart off guard and blow it open. Ikenosha said, enlightenment is an accident.

[46:19]

Though we can make ourselves accident prone. We stay close. And stay available for those bufferings that catch the heart off guard and blow it open. That catch the mind off guard and blow it open. staying close, causing ourselves less trouble. Looking at the curious way, the human mind seems more interested in what's not than what is.

[47:29]

And slowly, kindly, gently inviting it to now. Inviting it to what is. Receptive Samadhi. forth. And amazingly with full authority something in us knows. Sometimes foolishly

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We rush to put ideas on it. Sometimes we just stay foolish without the ideas. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit SSCC.org and click giving.

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