So this is a somewhat exciting day because I'm planning to finish the Genjo Koan. And then we'll figure out what we're going to do next of Dogen's fascicles. I'd like your help in thinking about that. So last week I talked about the section of the Genjo Koan that encourages us not to think of truth as some... particular theory or some understanding or some set position that we arrive at the way we've been trained to think and learn and pass various tests by knowing answers, you know, having truth. So this is not that kind of truth. And so the truth that can be known or even summarized by human language is the way we usually think. And we may think that what we don't understand is basically ignorance on our part. But when we think that what we know is sufficient, then we really begin to think, well, we don't need to study because I understand.

[01:18]

So that's a very limiting way for us to view the world and reality. And we don't have to think very hard or long to realize that what we know is extremely small compared to what we don't know, which is beyond measure. So once we realize what the real truth is, then we're more inclined to study all the time. And we study ourselves, starting with ourselves, as Dogen suggests, and then studying our actions in the world, as the Buddha suggests, in terms of ethical practices. You know, we study our speech, and we study our posture, our relationship to other people, and, of course, to the environment on which we depend. So this is what Dogen calls Shugyo, or continuous practice. So then when we're thinking that the truth is some kind of particular thing, like I was saying, a concrete theory or some facts, that's what Dogen's referring to when he talks about seeing the ocean, seeing a circle of water, and then imagining that the ocean is round or perhaps square.

[02:26]

But he says it's not round and it's not square. It's infinite in variety. For a dragon, it's like a palace, and for a fish, it's like a jewel, and for a child at the beach, it's a fun place to go and play, right? So this is limitations of our point of view, and inviting us to consider again and again, beyond your own point of view, you know, what is it? What can you even imagine, you know, when you can't even imagine? Suzuki Roshi reminds us that Dogen actually did sail out on the ocean in a small boat, For his day, probably not such a small boat, but from Mark's point of view, it would be a very small boat, the sail. And he sailed to China and back again. And during his ocean crossing, the ocean seemed to be everywhere in all directions, a giant circle of water as far as the eye could see. And yet that circle of water lasted only as long as the water was calm and the sailing was smooth. Then the storm came up, in fact, while Dogen was on the water, and the ocean became dark and a very frightening place for him to be.

[03:33]

So it was no longer a circle, but instead there were these mountains, towering mountains of water in all directions that were threatening Dogen's life. So because of this, because reality is always changing, that there is no circle of water that we can depend on, we don't know what kind of water or what kind of weather we're going to be sailing on. tomorrow or the next day. Reality really is don't know. And even more so, it's can't know. So this makes us a little uncomfortable. That's why we like facts. We like as though there are these stones in the ocean that we can step on, go from one to the next, you know, to make our crossing. So when something, we think that something's missing in our understanding of the truth is that the actual truth can only be realized or revealed in the present moment, which is the only place we ever are. So it's not revealed in our understanding of the present moment.

[04:34]

That's already too late, you know. So it reveals itself in the way that we know best, which is in our activities and our each and every breath and each and everything we see and hear and taste and so on. We know very well how to live in the present moment. That's where we live. But our tendency is to think about something else, almost anything else, than what we're actually experiencing in the present moment. So what we do right now will never be enough. It can never be enough. It will never be complete because there's always the next moment coming right up, and we don't know what's there. We don't know how to meet it because we don't know what it is or what it will be. So we're always a little bit unnerved, a little nervous. In this life, you may have noticed that. I certainly have. There's a little bit of anxiety that runs through our life as a result of that we just don't know. We don't know. So coming into some kind of balanced relationship with not knowing is what the invitation of the Buddha Dharma has been for all of us for centuries and certainly in my own life.

[05:42]

It's like, can you come into some kind of relationship to balance, to finding your balance, not as a set point, from which you never move, but as an ability to respond to the ever-changing nature of reality. I think I mentioned to you all about something I said to Reb years ago. I feel like a seal trying to balance on a wet ball, a giant wet ball. That's kind of the feeling. And he said, yeah, that's about right. So I think if that's about right, then rather than being nervous about that, it's more like, let's see if we can work on that skill set. of how to be flexible and somewhat playful in trying to find our balance. Falling off the ball isn't so bad. It happens all the time. That's just part of the nature of trying to balance, is off balance. And we have to respond not knowing whatever's going to be coming and also not knowing if we can ever complete whatever we're doing.

[06:45]

Actually, we can't. It'll never be done. There will always be something missing. And so for Dogen, this is what he understood when he went to Ru Jing and he said, body and mind, dropped off body and mind have arrived. Dropped off body and mind have arrived. You know, he had this big experience of letting go, of not knowing. And that, as in the saying, not knowing is nearest. And so for Dogen, suddenly that not knowing was so much more vast and intimate than all that he had known. And he was quite a scholar. So all that knowing sort of dropped off. Dropped off body and mind. And he felt a great liberation at that. So he took that liberation to his teacher to express that understanding. Dropped off body and mind has arrived. And then Ryu Jing upends him by saying, now drop that. Don't get stuck there either. Keep turning. Keep trying to rebalance. If one side is leaning too far this way, then we want to lean a little bit this way.

[07:46]

It's kind of like the sailing on a boat. It is like sailing, much more like sailing. So just keep dropping. That was Rujing's message to Dogen and Dogen's message to us. So don't know also means there is so much to know, way more to know than we'll ever know. And so we need to be ready. We need to be ready to meet the next moment and the moment after that because that's where our learning will come from, from what we don't know. becomes our experience and in some cases becomes knowing or some skill set that will begin to grow. And reality, as we do know, doesn't take some particular form and yet it includes all forms. It includes all these experiences that we think of in terms of shapes and colors and sounds and odors and thoughts and what we call reality or just this Because we don't have another word.

[08:47]

What else could we call everything? Reality. That's it. That's kind of what we came up with. Let's just call it reality. What seems to be real? Justice. So it's this ever-changing nature of reality that we study when we study all things. If someone asks you, what is it? What is it? Then you have a chance to pause for a moment and consider. And then when we stop... When we pause, we come back to the place of the present moment. What is it is a good question because it helps to stop us. Questions tend to stop that knowing. Oh, I know. Answers aren't so bad, they're fine. But that's not really what we're into. We're really into questions. What is it? Where am I? What am I here to do? What am I here? What's my purpose? And so on. So we return to the place where we are. And from there, we can appreciate the life we actually have in each and every moment.

[09:48]

I think I mentioned to you last week, Reverend Angel gave a lovely talk at Green Gulch, and she used this phrase, just return, as a kind of a reminder or a mantra that we can adopt. That when you just get out there on the edge of your knowing, and you're busy knowing, and you're all kind of tied up in various thought processes, And the feeling of that is one of not so, it's not so pleasant. I'd like to get out of this. I'd like to get out of this little, you know, rant or whatever it is I've gotten into here. And I think this little mantra is pretty helpful. I've been working with it since she mentioned it. You know, just return. Just return to your body and to your breath. You know, just return to your upright posture. If you've kind of given that up for a while, just come back to standing up straight. Maybe stop walking. or sit in your chair or whatever, wherever you are, you know, with friends perhaps or whatever it's going on where you're feeling like you're leaning too far in, you know, you've got too much knowing going on.

[10:49]

Just return to the present and take a few breaths. You know, what is it? What is it? What am I forgetting? So just return to this present moment with its dark clouds or its bright clouds or where there's no clouds at all, just here. So this week I'm going to move on to the next section of the Genjo Koan in which fish are swimming in the ocean and birds are flying in the air. So I'm going to read this section for you. A fish swims in the ocean and no matter how far it swims, there is no end to the water. A bird flies in the air no matter how far it flies, there is no end to the air. However, the fish and the bird have never left their elements. When their activity is large, their field is large. When their need is small, their field is small. Thus, each of them totally covers its full range and each of them totally experiences its realm.

[11:52]

If the bird leaves the air, it will die at once. If the fish leaves the water, it will die at once. So know that water is life and air is life and the bird is life and the fish is life. Life must be the bird. Life must be the fish. And it's possible to illustrate this with more analogies. Practice, enlightenment, and people are like this. Now if a bird or a fish tries to reach the end of its element before moving in it, this bird or this fish will not find its way or its place. When you find your place where you are, Practice occurs, actualizing the fundamental point. Just return. When you find your way at this moment, practice occurs, actualizing the fundamental point. For the place, the way, is neither large nor small, neither yours nor others.

[12:54]

The place, the way, has not carried over from the past, and it is not merely arising now. Accordingly, in the practice enlightenment of the Buddha way, meeting one thing is mastering it. Doing one practice is practicing completely. Here is the place. Here the way unfolds. The boundary of realization is not distinct. For the realization comes forth simultaneously with the mastery of the Buddha Dharma. Do not suppose that what you realize becomes your knowledge, something you know. Do not suppose that what you realize becomes your knowledge and is grasped by your consciousness. Although actualized immediately, the inconceivable may not be distinctly apparent. The inconceivable may not be distinctly apparent. Its appearance is beyond your knowledge.

[13:57]

So, there's quite a bit of work in this section, and I'm grateful for these commentaries by Nishiya Boku-san and Suzuki Roshi and Yasutani Roshi. I'm sorry, Ushiyama, was not Yasutani. Ushiyama Roshi, who's Okomura Roshi's teacher. So one of the many things that Nishihara Bokasan says about this section, which seems pretty familiar to me as a human being moving around in the world, is how the fish and the bird forget about their elements as they move about. You know, the fish forgets about the water, and the bird forgets about the air, and humans forget about gravity and oxygen and grocery stores and automobiles and houses and so on. We just forget. We're just moving around. doing our thing with our list of things to do and our watches and so on. We all know how to do it. We're very good at moving around through our elements, just as our fish and as our birds.

[15:03]

We're naturals, so to speak. And we don't notice the ease with which we move about getting things that we need to survive until somehow those necessities become hard to get. you know, which is happening in many places in the world for many kinds of living creatures, of course, not just humans. So yesterday morning, it's a very small, trivial example, but it happened to me. I was making my lunch. I had this sticky food on my hands. So I reached over to the sink to wash my hands and there wasn't any water. And that's not what I was expecting. You know, that's not what happens. I turn on the faucet and the water comes out. But it didn't. And so I went around the house with these sticky hands. trying to find some water. And all I could find was a bottle, a little bit of water left from a hike I'd taken a few days before. And that water became just like this precious, it was so precious, and I made sure it wasn't going to get knocked over.

[16:04]

That's the only water I had in the house. And then it took me a while before I could find out from the maintenance crew just what happened to the water and how long I'd have to wait before the water was back on again, which wasn't terribly long, as it turned out. So I think you've all experienced examples of running out of necessities. Sometimes it can be kind of frightening, depending on where you are and what it is that you've run out of. So right now, I think you may have read in the news that those folks out there in the desert doing the Burning Man celebrations have had a terrible rainstorm, and they are now stuck in the mud. They can't drive. They can't get out of there. They can't even walk in their shoes because their shoes come off in the mud. So they're walking around barefoot. And they're being told to really conserve any food or water they have. There's 70,000 people out there. So they are far, far away from all the comforts of home.

[17:07]

So we forget. We forget about our environments until something goes wrong, until something's missing. So Bokasan then also uses these passages about the fish and the bird to uphold comparisons between different kinds of fish and different kinds of birds. And he says, for example, a tiny sparrow just hops around picking up little seeds off the ground. That's the life of the sparrow. Its need is small, and its field is small. And then on the other hand, a giant rock, R-O-C, or garuda, which is a mythical bird of prey, both in Arabic and East Asian fairy tales, was said to have carried off an elephant that was fighting with a crocodile. So the rock is a rather large bird and its field is large and its need is large. So in each of these cases, you know, the sparrow and the rock and the humans, they're all living within the limits of their size and their activities. And in that sense, they are not different from one another. They are just the same.

[18:08]

They are just as they are. They are the truth of their own existence. And all things are like that. Everything is the truth of its own existence. And it fits very nicely with all the other things. There's enough room here, so it seems, for things to exist just the way they are. And yet each of them covers fully its range and fully experiences its realm. A rock is a rock. A sparrow is a sparrow. A human being is a human being. And each one is moving along on its own, coming and going without too many hindrances. Most of the day today, not too many hindrances. Things are going all right. And without the need for some kind of identity or some essence in order to function. Each of these are empty of an inherent existence, of a stable, present, eternal existence that would get in the way. If we weren't impermanent, we would really start to get in the way.

[19:10]

because we wouldn't be leaving. We'd just be there. You know, lots of it. Everything would just be there. So that's not reality. Reality is getting out of the way, making way for what comes next. So this part of Dogen's essay is conveying both our interdependence, excuse me, our independence within the realms in which we have been born. You know, fish... are independent, they swim around the ocean, independent, and birds fly around the air independently and we humans walk around on the earth independently. I have my own two feet and you have yours and I take myself where I'm going and I use my hands and my senses in order to navigate around this world, get this body where I want it to go and back again, it all goes well. So this is our independence. You know, we have independence, independent nature. A lot of times I talk to the students who are really oftentimes at their age, particularly, they're attracted to one another.

[20:18]

There's these crushes that happen. And there's this feeling that, you know, I want that person to be with me. Always, you know, that kind of language we use in wedding ceremonies and stuff. Eternally, you will eternally be mine and you will always be with me forever and ever and that kind of thing. But if you really think about it, we don't want anyone to be with us all the time. We really do want some breaks, if not a lot of breaks. You know, that was nice. Now, why don't you go do something else and I'm going to do this for a while. So we really do want our independence. We require that for our mental health and for, in fact, just for living. We have to walk on our own feet and we have to take care of ourselves. And even though we like each other and we want to be together, it's not something we want to have glued on. I don't want anyone glued on me. I need to have this independence, as do the fish and the birds and so on. And then on the other side, because all Buddhadharma teachings have another side, so the other side of independence is our dependence.

[21:20]

We are dependent on the resources that were there, that were required. for us to be born. If the fish leaves the water, it will die at once. If the bird leaves the air, it will die at once. And we humans, too, will die, Boksan says, if we leave the water of our true empty nature, the realm of the Buddha Dharma. So once we, by our own choosing, have inherited this Buddha Dharma, we've chosen it, we've taken it into our lives, then we will experience both sides of our life. There's the unlimited side in which no matter how far we fly, there is no end to the air. And then there's a limited side in which we depend on such things as Buddhist ethics and our dignified bearing, our upright sitting, and in which we depend on the Buddhist teaching of such things as these core understandings around emptiness and on the non-dual nature reality, things we've talked about over and over again.

[22:22]

you know, coming to understand the Two Truths, and the Four Noble Truths, and the Eightfold Path, and the Twelve-Fold Chain of Dependent Coraline. I mean, there are all kinds of things. There's kind of endless, boundless things that we depend on as disciples of the Buddha. And if we leave these elements, we too, as practitioners of the Buddha way, will die at once. So Boksan says that our daily activity of the present moment is done freely. in the water of our Buddha nature. And in the emptiness of inherent existence, we fly around freely without contrivance. And as soon as we depend upon any scheming or manipulation, we immediately lose the wisdom and the life of the Buddha ancestors. Scheming and manipulation seems like a familiar, something tempting that flies through our human consciousness, planning how we might take advantage of situations, you know, if possible. Pretty normal, normal thing for us to do.

[23:23]

And then Dogen goes on to say that the boundary of realization is not distinct, for the realization comes forth simultaneously with the mastery of the Buddha Dharma. Don't suppose that what you realize becomes your knowledge and is grasped by your consciousness. Although actualized immediately, the inconceivable may not be distinctly apparent. Its appearance is beyond your knowledge. So they're continuing to repeat this teaching about your knowledge is this very limited range of what we are. And we kind of sense that, you know, that really, I don't know. becomes much more of a true statement. The older I get, I'm more comfortable saying, I just don't know. I don't know that. I don't know that. And I don't know all of that. And there's more and more things. It seems like the piles of things to know are getting much bigger too, particularly around computers and AI and all these things. I don't know. I don't know what they're talking about. And not that I may never.

[24:26]

I won't ever. I won't ever know. And I'm going to have to be comfortable. with the limitations, you know, of my own circle of water. Not knowing is said to be nearest. So it seems to me that it's kind of encouraging, these teachings are somewhat encouraging for those endeavoring to live in accordance with the Buddha Dharma. So the encouraging part being that there really is no part of reality that is not part of the Buddha Dharma. So Buddha Dharma is considered all inclusive. You know, you could say it's reality itself. You know, in terms of the Buddha's view of the universe, that's the Buddha's home. Ah, this is my home. This is the Buddha Datu. This is the Dharma Datu. This is where Virojana Buddha lives. He's the cosmic Buddha. This universe fits Virojana Buddha like a glove. It's just a perfect match for this vastness of this awakened presence. You know, the universe has an awakened presence.

[25:29]

Each and every part of it is awakened. It has its own space, its own place in the whole, as part of the whole. So because all things are part of the Buddha Dharma, what we know and what we don't know or will never know are included. So that's the good news. So what you don't know is just a complement of what you know. Basically, they're not separate. You know, knowing and not knowing are not separate. They're basically two sides of one coin. You know, conjoined twins. So Bogusan says, the Dharma that is not known comes forth simultaneously with the Dharma that is known. They come up together. Knowing and not knowing come up together. Now that's how you know what you don't know. Right? light and dark. How do you know light? Because of dark. How do you know dark? Because of light. So all of these contrasts, all of these opposites, really aren't opposites.

[26:32]

They're connectors. They basically teach about each other. Dark teaches light and light teaches dark. I teach you. You teach me. We are completely dependent on one another to understand the whole of reality as It says in the Lotus Sutra, only a Buddha and a Buddha, only one awakened being and another awakened being can understand the totality of existence. Because the point of view of this one and the point of view of this one need each other. I can't see myself. Only you can include me. And I can include you. That's how we get included, by having awareness of one another. It's kind of a little magical thing that goes on there in the Lotus Sutra. Only a Buddha and a Buddha. So practice and realization are actualized simultaneously. Practice realization is like one word. Dogen treats practice realization as one word. So every moment of practice is a moment of realization.

[27:34]

Not about good or bad, or that wasn't a very good period of zazen, or that was a terrible bow, or whatever you think. Whatever you think doesn't matter at all. That practicing and realizing are always together. Or simultaneously. And it's very quick. It's instantaneous. Each moment of realization is intimately happening to you. It is you. Each moment of your practice is you. And that, therefore, is realization itself. If you grasp something, then you don't even find a speck of realization. Grabbing a hold of something. Oh, I got it. Trying to know it. Trying to know reality. It's kind of funny, really. But trying to know it is really just basically, there's not even a tiny little glimmer of realization in our effort to know it or to get a hold of it, grasping. So therefore, each thing that we do wholeheartedly with sincere intention, without our knowing it, brings forth innumerable practices in innumerable practice places throughout space and time.

[28:40]

That's what the Buddha says. That's what Dogen says, you know. And all we have to do is believe it, you know. In faith that we are Buddha, we enter Buddha's way. This is not our normal human way of thinking. This vastness of impact. Little things you do have a tremendous impact on things around you. It's true. And whether you know it or not, every good deed, every good deed has this kind of ripples, ripples out, you know. And it is my faith. I have faith in that. I've seen it so many times. I see it in my little community, my little circle of water. It's so often how these kindnesses show up. And they're anonymous a lot of times. Something I've lost all of a sudden shows up in my mailbox. Or a little note, a little thoughtful reminder about something. People are terribly kind. And they're ready, they're poised to be kind and helpful. We just have to look and do our own bit, you know, do our own part in that.

[29:45]

So when, as Dogen says in this section, again, when we find our place where we are, practice occurs, actualizing the fundamental point, Genjo Kwan. When we find our way at this moment, practice occurs, actualizing the fundamental point. For the place, the way is not large, it's neither large nor small, it's neither mine or others'. The place, the way, has not carried over from the past and is not merely arising now. Accordingly, in the practice enlightenment of the Buddha way, meaning one thing is mastering it. Doing one practice is practicing completely. So basically, there is no beginning or ending for us in the practice of the Buddha way. Just as there is no beginning or ending to the water or for the fish or to the air, for the bird, And then there's this final paragraph of the Genzo Koan about Zen Master Bao Che.

[30:48]

So Zen Master Bao Che of Mount Mayu was fanning himself. A monk approached and said, Master, the nature of wind is permanent. There is no place it does not reach. Why then do you fan yourself? Although you understand that the nature of wind is permanent, Bauche replied, you do not understand the meaning of its reaching everywhere. What is the meaning of its reaching everywhere? asked the monk again. The master just kept fanning himself. The monk bowed deeply. The actualization of the Buddha Dharma, the vital path of its correct transmission, is like this. If you say that you do not need to fan yourself because the nature of wind is permanent, And you can have wind without fanning. You will understand neither permanence nor the nature of wind. The nature of wind is permanent. And because of that, the wind of the Buddhist house brings forth the gold of the earth and makes fragrant the cream of the long river.

[31:55]

I've always liked that phrase. I just thought it was very beautiful. The gold of the Buddhist house and the cream of the long river. not so obvious. This story about fanning yourself is not like, you know, completely obvious what's going on here. But basically, there's some mistaken way of viewing practice. It's like, well, you're already Buddha. That's this question that Dogen took with him to China. If the teaching of Buddha nature is that we're already have all we need, you know, we are endowed with our Buddha nature from the moment we came into existence, the moment the universe came into existence, that This is the Buddha nature. This is what's happening here. There's this tendency to think, well, then why do I have to practice? Why practice if that's true? So it's like the nature of wind is permanent. Why do you fan yourself? Why do you work so hard? And that was Dogen. That was driving Dogen from temple to temple and text to text, teacher to teacher.

[32:59]

This was his question. And finally, he goes to China. in this treacherous sea voyage and is able to ask Rujing this very same question. Why do we have to practice? And what does Rujing say? It's kind of like the same thing around this koan of, does a dog have Buddha nature? And the teacher says, no. It says no. And, you know, well, wait a minute. I thought we all had Buddha nature. He said no. And the no is not to whether the dog has Buddha nature or not. It's to the question. Why are you asking? We told you. The Buddha told you you have Buddha nature. Now what are you going to do with it? How are you going to live with it? How are you going to offer it? Well, you better fan yourself. You better do something. So this Zen Master is fanning himself because if he doesn't fan himself, even though there's wind everywhere, it's not going to get cool where he's sitting. Apparently it must have been a little hot there. So by fanning himself, he's able to cool off.

[34:01]

There's a function there. The essence is the wind. The wind of the Buddha's house is everywhere. The function of the wind is that you need to do certain things. You need to fan yourself. Or maybe you need to take a walk. You need to do something. It's not enough. We can't just stand there or sit there. And that's it. We're called on to act. We're called on to engage in our understanding of the Dharma. And the more you understand, the more the engagement, the more you probably wish to engage. Because there's something very nourishing about understanding the nature of wind. It's such a wonderful thing. And the more you understand the nature of wind and the more you understand your own Buddha nature, the less you have a need for that person that you've been serving so diligently for so long. It's like that person who somehow grew up into an adult has really had a lot of confusion about who they are, what they're here to do.

[35:07]

And I don't think we've gotten a lot of help. I don't know, maybe you did. I didn't get a lot of help in how to be a person. in the world, or how to understand the world, or where I belonged in the world. I mean, it was pretty much at probably the age of 18, I was on my own to work that out. My parents had done what they did, and they figured it out, having to do with work and children. Somehow that was their mission. And then they had children, and then we were all like, now what do we do? So I thought I should do what they did. That was probably the main message was, well, why don't you do what we did? You know, get married and have some children. That would take care of it. So, yeah. But somehow that didn't work out. So now what? Here I am, you know, kind of alone in the desert, so to speak, of this wilderness of not knowing. And of knowing I don't know. I mean, I think one of the advantages for me of... stumbling through the world is that I really knew I didn't know. I knew there was a lot more to know than I would ever know.

[36:08]

And so there was somehow this Dharma, this teaching of the Buddha Dharma was just finally, finally somebody's singing my song, you know, not knowing his nearest. It's like, oh, that's me. I belong. That's where I belong. I'll fit right in there, you know. I would love to be comfortable without having to have some kind of, you know, thing or theory that I really got a hold of, and then I can convey to others, you know, like a package deal. So there's a lot of requests being made of us. You know, the wind of the Buddhist house is permanent, and yet we need to fan ourselves. We need to practice. We need to engage. Suzuki Rishi says, perfect freedom will only be acquired under some limitations. When you are in one position, realization of the truth will be there. But if you don't work from where you are, wandering about from one place to another without knowing where you are, without knowing the place on which you work, there will be no chance to realize your true nature.

[37:09]

So you keep hunting, researching, searching. I don't know if any of you checked in on the 10 ox-herding pictures talks I was giving, but, you know, we're seeking. It was like, I've lost my missing piece. There's something missing. You know, the thing I don't know is missing. And I know, I know it's... Something I need to know, I'm in desperate need to know what I don't know, right? That hunger to know, hunger for knowledge, we talk about that as a virtue. But if we wander around looking for it, we tend to look in all the wrong places. You know, looking for love in all the wrong places. There's a song back in the 60s. So, and then, even though you use something to make yourself cool, like a Japanese round fan, so Suzuki Rishi is referring to this line about... the master of fanning himself, even though you use something to make yourself cool, like a Japanese round fan or a Chinese fan or a big electric fan, if you're always changing from one to the other, you will spend your time just changing your equipment. And you will have no time to appreciate the cool wind itself, the actual feeling of the Dharma penetrating through all those layers into your heart, into your mind.

[38:18]

So... And this is what most people are doing. Reality will be experienced only when you're in some particular condition. That is why we say emptiness is form. So emptiness, the study of emptiness, is through form. We bow, we chant, we sit together, we... leave the room with our left foot on the side of the hinge. If any of you have taken Zazen instruction at Zen Center, there's all these little things that we do because it's form. There's some particular condition. Emptiness is form. Emptiness shows up in how we behave. It shows up in how we speak. It shows up in how we move. Our emptiness is basically our lack of separability from everything else and how we impact everything by our actions in the world. So... So that is why we say that emptiness is form. Emptiness will be very good, but it can only be appreciated in some kind of form or color or under some limitations. So we study, we practice with limitations.

[39:22]

You know, Zen practice has a lot of limitations, and people struggle with that. You know, you've all probably heard the metaphor of putting your snake, the snake of your restless mind and body into a bamboo tube, you know, to kind of... Just the kind of idea of Zen training is putting your snake in a bamboo tube, which is a very good metaphor. I think that works really well. Particularly, I've spent a lot of time with the newer students, and they're really trying to get out of that tube. And the more you struggle and the more you try, the tighter it feels, you know. And, you know, you just have to relax, basically. Just relax. And then, you know, you tilt the tube slightly, and you just slide right out. It's quite easy. You really can get out if you want to. But then you might realize that actually there was something you were learning by those limitations. Something could be learned, something you didn't know already about yourself. But then you don't attach to your understanding. You should appreciate moment by moment what you are doing right now.

[40:23]

If you're a teacher, you behave like a teacher. When you're a student, behave like a student. You should know what your position is or realization of the truth can't happen to you. So finding your own dharma position. What is your position? Not what you wish your position was or what you wish it had been. But what is your actual dharma position? We talk about that at Green Gulch a lot. People are in their dharma position. So there's the gardener, there's the farm, there's the baker, you know, the tenzo, the head cook. Each of us has a Dharma position and we switch them around so you can get to see from these different points of view what the same little valley, Green Gulch Valley, looks like when you're the baker. It's really different than when you're down on the farm. You know, when I'm up at my place working on something to say, you know, for a Sunday talk. It's a very different point of view. And yet, if someone were to ask you where's Green Gulch, you'd say, oh, it's right there. That's it. That's Green Gulch. But just from one singular point of view.

[41:25]

You can't really see all the points of view at the same time. Just the circle of water. I just see the circle of water that my fish is swimming in and each of these other wonderful beings sees theirs and each of you is circling around in your circle of water. To realize our position and find ourselves is the way. Reaching everywhere means that the activity of the cool wind, which is blowing in a certain direction, with a certain spirit covers everything. And at that moment, the movement of the wind is the whole world and the independent activity of the wind. Nothing can be compared with the wind under this condition. Ash is ash, having its own past and its own future. Firewood is firewood, having its own past and its own future. Firewood and ash are thoroughly independent and so is the wind. And this is how it reaches everywhere. And this activity is beyond any idea we have of time. When we attain enlightenment, all the ancestors attain enlightenment at the same time.

[42:29]

We can't understand that. It's beyond our comprehension. When we attain enlightenment, when we are right there where we are, right in our practice position, all the Buddhas, before and after, attain enlightenment at the same time. When you understand enlightenment, you are independent from everything. You have your own past and future, just as the Buddha had his own past and future. And his position is independent as is yours. And if so, this realization is beyond time and space. And in this way, the wind reaches everywhere. He says, do you understand? Nope. Well, that's good. That's good. That's you're on the right track. If you don't understand, that reaches everywhere. You cannot say Buddha is before or after. In this way, you should realize the nature of wind is permanent. The monk did not have any understanding of this kind. He didn't understand. He's a very good boy. For Huitzu Zenji, it was impossible to explain this direct experience of reality, so he just kept fanning himself.

[43:30]

The teacher couldn't tell the monk to experience reality right now. Just right now. What is it? And those other stories we've read, I guess last year, a number of the transmission stories where the teacher puts his whisk in the monk's face. Whisk in the face. Right now. Don't you get it? It's right now. This teacher wants so much to convey that to this student, but he just keeps fanning himself because the monk's going, I don't get it. I don't understand. I don't get it. It's impossible to explain direct experience of reality. You can't explain it. You can't explain to someone the feeling of cold water or the feeling of cool air. You can't explain experience. You have to have it for yourself. And then you can't explain it, right? It's very independent. So there's a very famous statement. The wind of the Buddhism actualizes the gold of the earth and ripens the cheese of the long river. And only by your practice, when you practice sitting meditation in this way, aiming at this kind of a goal, will you have a chance to attain true enlightenment.

[44:40]

So that's our Suzuki Roshi's understanding of this final paragraph of the Genjo Koan, the mighty Genjo Koan. I've pretty much enjoyed the journey around the Genjo Koan, and I noticed when I... We chanted once a week at Green Gulch, half of it one day, and then the next half the next day. And I have a really renewed appreciation. Every time we've gone through some of these texts that are quite familiar, you know... I've been chatting these for many years, and some parts of it I've memorized, some parts I don't, really haven't. But the richness of the language, when you spend a little time, you know, taking the little threads apart, because they're all woven together, when we're chanting, you can't really stop and go like, what did that mean? So by taking them apart, I found it very helpful. And now when I read the text or I'm chanting the text in the morning, I'm feeling some joy. And like, oh, I know about that.

[45:41]

There's a little bit of knowing sneaking in there into the vastness of this crazy Buddha Dharma. So that's what I wanted to offer this evening. I'm very happy to have any of you respond or comment or say whatever you like. It's very nice to... to be here helene hello hi hi wonderful talk thank you so much thank you sangha for being an inspiration and um I wanted to thank you for telling me a couple of times to listen to Reverend Angel's just return admonitions.

[46:46]

And I find that they work in every situation, no matter what it is. Yeah. Yeah. Also, it reminds me of Okora, I can't remember his name, but his teacher with opening the hand of thought. You know, it's kind of like you've got something in your hand. All you've got to do is open it. Yeah, yeah. Those simple things are so beautiful. Yeah. That's why I really thought what Angel did was such a gift. It's so simple. You know, we've heard it a million times, right? Oh, just come to the present. Be in the present. But just return. She really made a mantra out of it. Yeah, she did. Lovely, lovely talk. Yeah, it was thank you for telling me to do that.

[47:47]

Yeah, thank you for reminding and telling everyone else. Tell all your friends. Tell all your friends to listen to that. Yeah. Thanks, Elaine. Hi, Fu. Thank you so much for the wonderful talk. It was really great. I think there's something so powerful and liberative of letting go of believing in our thoughts and believing in knowing My personal experience is a lot of planning, right? Of, oh, this is what I'm going to do tomorrow. And all of this that we hold on to and grasp onto.

[48:52]

And paying attention to the suffering that that causes when things never go our way. Never. There's something wonderful about, and it reminds me of what Suzuki Roshi said of... of practice developing a soft mind, right. Or a flexible mind where in wayfaring, where there's that point where we need to plan, but where am I holding on? Right. Like you were saying, where am I not lightly saying, okay, maybe, maybe, maybe that that's what it is. And, and that approach is, is just so wonderful to, to remember that, that we don't know. Yeah. And whatever it is we think we know, it's what we've created up here, right? What really is knowing. And there's so much liberation to that and to seeing how all of the teachings truly interconnect, right? And the non-attachment and the not knowing. So I thought it was a wonderful talk and something truly difficult to practice because there's something we indulge in, right?

[50:01]

When it's even... positive or negative, right? Whichever way we're falling to it is, oh, tomorrow's going to be a wonderful day. And then it's raining and we think, well, now it's not wonderful. Why is that? Because we were holding on so tightly to the sunshine or wherever it might be. So thank you so much for that teaching. I thought it was really wonderful and I'll continue doing my best. To no less. I apologize to your parents for all that effort to educate you. You ruined it. You ruined him. I think that's what's great is that okay, it's still there, right? But it's just hold on a little less, right? It's not going anywhere. Maybe it'll happen. Maybe it won't. We'll be prepared, but we will never be fully prepared. It's a light touch. I don't know if you've ever ridden horses, but it took me a long time to realize the horse knew a lot better how to walk and run than I could possibly ever.

[51:07]

The lighter held on the reins, the less I tried to interfere, everything went really well. There's something about trusting, not knowing. Not knowing it's not only nearest, it's dearest, you know. Thank you. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Lisa. And then Ying. Who are you picking, Grace? Oh, there's Ying. Hi, Ying. Hi. Hi. Thank you. I am suffering this morning, you know, getting my kids to school. And a lot of fussing going on. The first few minutes, I was able to, like, use my practice, slowing down. At the end, I was just threatening and bribing. All those actions just came out. Now I feel like afterwards, now I'm, like, feeling bad. But at the same time, when you were talking, I just start to think about this karmic, all the forces going on.

[52:09]

And I start to cry a little bit. Like, this is helpful. It's not, not just the feeling bad part, but like kind of accepting my karma, you know, that part. It's the heavy part. And I still feel bad about it. I still want to change with this breathing that heaviness. I don't know how to describe it while you were talking. I just want to, yeah. But today, actually, I don't want to talk about my suffering. I do want to ask you a question. A friend I met this weekend, his wife, I knew from New York. We were friends before the kids were hanging out. And this is, I don't know her husband very well. I just met him. He's a scientist, professor, atheist, very smart. But I think there's issues. He needs help. He said he liked Zen before he read Suzuki's book. But I don't think he's practicing anything. He's not following up. But I think this is the point. Both of them need help.

[53:11]

They asked me for help, like, because I sent them, I don't know how to help, actually. They said, you know, there's any books in Zen, you know, besides the, they know the Zen Man Beginner's Mind book. Is there any other Zen book that can be helpful? And I thought about my own experience, because when I was picking up Zen, I was not in a situation that I definitely need help quickly, you know, not like that. So I was able to... with your help, building on foundations, you know, Gemma card, reading, you know, so bond only. It helped me building up some foundation knowledge, right, to then to study Zen. I think that that was helpful, but I don't know if I should do that approach to them. I just feel they need help a little bit faster because there's a lot of going on for them, life and work, a lot of anger there. I feel like, so I'm asking you, like, is there anything I can help? I know each person, has their own path, right? I cannot just feed them. But I was hoping there's something that can relieve the pressure and then maybe they can step on the path.

[54:17]

Yeah. That's really hard because, you know, it takes a long time. It took a long time for me. It took a long time for you to actually be able to see over the top of my discursive thinking and what I already knew. and what I already thought did and didn't work. So I already had a story, a whole personality that had grown in the soil of confusion and delusion. And so it took quite a while to be able to hear this wisdom teachings. And then once you begin to hear them, all of a sudden it sounds like, well, where have I been? It's so obvious. Yeah. I can hear them now in a lot of places. But for a while, you know, I couldn't really hear. And so I guess what came to mind for me, for people maybe like your friends, I think the easiest access for people is experiential. Like taking slow walks. A slow walk. Not to get anywhere, but like, you know, if there's a lovely little park near you or where they live or something.

[55:24]

And not together. Just, you know, to take a slow walk. Not... quickly not exercise but just really like an old person just really slowly walking and just gazing lightly at what's there and maybe stopping every you know few every i don't know every five minutes or something just stop and look at the world look at just look at a loop or look at a a tree just stop and look at this tree you know that the the invitation from the senses like you know that phrase come back to your senses But sometimes they'll say when somebody's crazy, you need to come back to your senses. Well, they literally mean you need to come back to hearing and smelling and tasting and touching to where you're in the present because your senses are in the present. And the invitation from these teachings, everything I said here was about right here is the place. Here the way unfolds. It's right here. It's in the present. And people get very lost around...

[56:25]

not even knowing what that means to be in the present. They just begin thinking again. So I don't think reading something would be the best introductory thing. I think more like experiential. If they're willing to try meditation, that might be a big jump. But I think walking quietly is really nice. And I also think this little phrase that Angel offered that I've been saying over and over, just return, is more like... That may be a little sophisticated, I don't know, because if they don't have an experience of being in their bodies or just being present, it might be so helpful. That might be a next step. Just return to the moment under the tree when you saw something. Just come back to that moment. That's what it means. Come back to some sensory moment where you're not trying to figure anything out. You're just there. You're just there in the beauty of the world. I think that for me is the easiest access for a lot of people because they already know it.

[57:29]

They've seen the world many times in the beauty of the world. So it's not unfamiliar. It's just how to get them to recognize that that's so important when you're stressed is to stop and look. Stop, look, and listen. Like at the train crossing. Stop, look, and listen. If I were to talk with them, I would probably suggest someone like that to start. Yeah, that's very helpful. Think about if there's some books that might also be of use. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's very helpful. That's very helpful for me too this morning. Good. Thank you, Fu. Thanks. You're welcome, Yang. Don't be too hard on yourself, please. Yeah. Please. I know. I know. It's all repentance. My daughter is here, and it's a great practice to be with your children, even when they're 30 years old.

[58:31]

Yeah. Yeah. You take care. Hi, Lisa. You are. I'm on. Okay. So, oh, I have to... I may be getting weirdness here. Do you hear weirdness? I don't hear weirdness. You sound good. Am I good? Okay. I am. Yeah, sounds good. Beautiful. And yeah, there are just too many places to unmute. Thank you. Again, always. Thank you. You're welcome. Before my question, when Ying was... I mean, one thing that came to mind was maybe Thich Nhat Hanh's books. He's, to use a phrase from another culture, he's a great gateway drug. He does have a gentle soul, doesn't he?

[59:36]

Yeah. I don't know that well, but as an author, I think he sometimes is appealing. Yeah, good idea. Good idea. You know, you know, Thich Nhat Hanh, I'm sure. Yeah, good. Yeah. So my question is thinking about, it was sort of thinking about the different pieces of the Genjo Koan and the two pieces you sort of discussed tonight. And they're almost, you know, I won't say at odds because we know that this is the odds. But The piece, you know, and am I missing something? I think it's my question. You know, the piece is, you know, this is the practice where you are. This is where the practice begins. So practice is everywhere. Yeah. And that's it. Every moment. Every moment. Whether you know it or not.

[60:38]

Right. And then you get down to Bao Chen and the question of Why do you have to practice? And, you know, I mean, it's back to, so am I missing anything about those two pieces? That's what was coming up for me in them. You know, it's Dogen's question. Is that what's being reflected there? Well, I think the missing piece maybe is this thing, whether you know it or not, that you're getting to know it. You're getting to know the joy that comes from practice. that there is something, there is a, there is a, a, a bubbly, that kind of bubbling thing that happens now and then. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then there's something about the person who's, you know, it's fine that I'm, I'm already Buddha. Great Buddha's fine, right? Buddha's taken care of. That part of me is just fine. It was always fine, will be fine long after I'm gone.

[61:39]

But then there's me. There's this person. And the person, you know, is the one who wants to know how to practice, you know, what to read, when to show up, when to be on time. So basically, we're using conventional language and conventional truth in order to help the person to relax enough, to get off of the personness, To kind of overcome all that conditioning that we've all been subjected to in order to be quiet enough and calm enough to go like, oh, my God. A tree. Where'd that come from? You know? My son. That's my son. He's so beautiful, you know? And I had a few of those moments with my daughter. I just kind of looked at her at dinner because she's chattering away. She's a chatterer. She's chattering away. And I just looked at her and I thought, you're so beautiful. So those moments of realization, practice realization, they're very special for us.

[62:43]

They're nourishing. And they keep us wanting to stay on track, you know, not just forget. I do care. I do care. I do want to be that person that I admire. I do want to aspire for it. And that's delusional. It's not like it's grasping. Yeah, that's grasping. All those bad things. It's grasping for good. It's grasping for good. And then when you grasp for good as hard as you can, you begin to realize the limitations of grasping. the limitations of your idea of what's good and then you pretty soon you enter into the understanding of the emptiness teachings which is vast emptiness nothing holy you were already free what were you doing why were you working so hard it's like the ten oxford in pictures the last shot the old guy is just hanging out with kids not worrying about it anymore but you know those of us who are still young enough to worry about it are continuing to you know try and get somewhere

[63:45]

Right? It's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. It's much better than not trying, and it's much better than trying to be bad, which is some people do. Okay. Yeah. Okay? Does that work? It works. I'm good. I hope so. Thank you. Okay. Hi, Dane. Hi, Fu. Hi, old Jisha. I'm a blast. That was really great. That was a very good... That all came together at a very, very good and helpful time for me. So listening to this for the first 15, probably about the first 10 or 15 minutes, I noticed that I looked at the time. I'm feeling quite satisfied right now, just kind of perfectly satisfied. And as you're talking over those first 10 minutes, I was thinking, oh, yeah, yeah, there's that.

[64:49]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, there's that. Oh, yeah, there's that. And we're going along and I'm thinking, oh, I should write this down. I should make sure I write these things down. And then I looked at them and I thought, okay, it's been 10 minutes. Now I know I could go back. And I was reminded that, I don't know, a couple of months ago, a few months ago, I went through this thing where I decided to ask people why they study. Why do you study? Because I didn't study for a whole lot of years. Just didn't have an interest in studying. I'd sit, I'd listen to people talk, and that was it. And what someone said, so I'm sitting here thinking about, well, I've got to write this stuff down. And I realize I write stuff down while you're talking. And I... almost never ever go back and look at it and i almost never go back and listen to a lecture but i will write down what time in a lecture i heard something let me go i i need to hear that again and one of the things is pretty interesting some of the things people said and also how it sort of split out on sort of the way that lay people expressed why did they study

[66:09]

And priests expressed why did they study. So it was a pretty interesting, noticeable split. But what someone said is that to study is for the purpose of experiencing, not the purpose of learning. And I have found that to be deeply true for me. Because I thought after that 10 minutes, I thought, oh my God, what if I say something about it? And she asked me to explain what it was said. And I thought, I can't explain it. I just felt it. I just experienced it. Yeah, good. And that led me to thinking about the lecture last week, Just Return. That's what that is. That's just experiencing it. The same with practicing realization. That's the same thing. That's right. with just returning. And then there's so many of those things, you know, I've got a copy of Sojin's book, an advanced copy of Seeing One Thing Through.

[67:21]

And that's the same thing as just return and the same thing as practice realization. So, and then lastly, A friend and I were talking about, we both had these experiences at separate times. I was walking in Canyon de Shea. I think it's in Nevada, Arizona, one of the really hot states. And there's no sound. It's in the summer. There's no sound. There's no water running. There's no birds. There's nothing. And what brought me back to that, this woman's mind went camping up in immigrant wilderness. And she said, it was the most silent place. And she said they're sitting there and they hear this whoosh, whoosh. And they just, their eyes came open and they thought, oh, that's something. And they looked up and there was a golden eagle, which they realized later, but it was flying.

[68:25]

And they heard, they said we heard wings flapping. I said, no, you heard the air is what you heard. We don't hear air. And then they went on to, oh, it's a bird. And then they went on to a golden eagle. And I realized that's also returning and practicing realization and seeing one thing through. It was just the witch. That was all it is. So I really appreciate today. And now I don't have to go back and reading more notes. I'm good. I'm content. Thank you. I think you've got your book. Just give me one page. Just whatever those phrases you want to do. You got it. That's it. That's it. You know what I said before? One of my favorites is just this is it, which is, again, right? And some teachers said, well, if just this is it, how come you keep saying all this stuff?

[69:25]

And the teacher said, if I didn't say all this stuff, there would be weeds growing at the monastery gate. Right? So it's just bait. It is. Baiting the hook to find out what's on that first page of your book. Right. Right there. I was also sort of delighted. I didn't realize. But when I looked at the Ginjo Koan, because I was trying to find which one you were reading, meaning there's so many of everything. And it's Kaz Tanahashi's translation, which knowing that he's getting ready to turn 90, It was, you know, it's just one more of those little things that's like, oh, this is the moment. This is a moment. Are you going to have a birthday party? Yeah, I'm back to helping in the kitchen. So I'm going to be over there for a couple of three days. Thank you. Thank you. That's wonderful. See you there. All right, good people.

[70:28]

So wonderful to see you all. Let's go on to our theater view or gallery view. Oh, yeah. Anyone have any requests for Dogen fascicles? Gee. Bendo Wah. Bendo Wah. We could do Bendo Wah. Or Birth and Death. Uji Time Being was another one. Uji, that's another one. Okay, we've got Bendo Wah and Uji, so those are two good ones. Lisa? I vote for Uji, but I'm going to be gone for three weeks. So I vote for Bendawa first. Oh, you want to be for Uji? You got it. That's not selfish. Of course. Practical. Practical. Okay. Well, Bendawa is pretty long. So I think what I'll do is edit it down a little bit. So if you all have access to Bendawa, why don't we just, anyone have a problem with doing Bendawa?

[71:32]

You probably don't, do you? You don't have a problem with anything, do you? That's good. That's the idea. That's what we're after. So we'll do Bendoa, and then I think the section of it that's in our Champ book. But I will introduce it, and then I'll say some stuff about it and the part that we'll look at together and give you some references and stuff. And then we'll do Uji, which is really fun, and we'll do that when Lisa comes back. Okay. Please have a wonderful evening. You all take care of yourselves. Enjoy this wonderful world. Can I show you something? Like one minute? Yeah. Okay. Hold on one second. Can you guess? Can you guess what's that? Heart sutra? Yeah. How do you know? Well, it's a wild guess. It's heart sutra. Oh, it's heart sutra. Oh, okay.

[72:32]

It's heart. But anyway, I found it in Japan. It's like one side Chinese, one side Japanese. And they were written in a very ancient way. Sometimes I get confused. I was reading the Japanese and it doesn't make any sense to me because I have a lot of Chinese characters, but it's like order switch. It was like, what's going on? And I found out I'm on the wrong side. It's kind of funny. Oh, that's great. You can read it in the Chinese version. Oh, that's good. Yes, I can read Chinese. You know, they do something with those. In Japan, they do this kind of turning of the sutra where they kind of do it like an accordion. Oh, that's how you do it, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It takes care of it. You don't have to read the whole thing. You just go like that a couple times. Yeah. All right. You all be well. Oh, we're done, right? Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye, all. Bye everyone. Thank you so much for your day.

[73:35]

Have a good week. Bye.

[73:39]

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