Having yet to see and listen to, to remember and accept, I vow to taste the truth of the Tathāgata's words. What do you think? No one laughing yet? Just a little while. I missed the jokes. Has he? Yes? It might be a bit lonely to hold that. Hold it? Okay.

[01:02]

Thank you. Can you hear this? Not very well now, yeah. How about this? How about this? I'm beginning to miss words. Okay, so I'll hold it. No, I want you to be comfortable. Okay. How's that? That'll be fine. Is that good? We have this. This was donated. Did you donate this to us? Thank you very much. This will help people with hearing impairments hear our Dharma talks, because we have this new system, sound system. So thank you very much. So this is the eve of the beginning of the practice period tomorrow. It's the first meeting of the practice period. Orientation in the afternoon. Thursday afternoon, people will be arriving. Friday is Tangario. Saturday, a bigger orientation with Oriyoki instruction.

[02:03]

And then Sunday, we're rolling into the regular schedule. So I wanted to talk a little bit tonight about the feeling of practice period, because I feel the practice period isn't just for the practice period participants. It's really for all of Green Gulch, and also everybody who comes here feels, when we're in practice period, can feel the difference in the valley. And I... I have a very strong feeling about the importance of doing practice period. And those of you who've signed up to do it, in thinking about this talk, I realize how strongly I feel about you receiving the benefits from the practice period. And those of you who are not in practice period,

[03:06]

but have been at other times, can all help this happen, and can then receive the benefits for yourself as well. And then that benefit goes out to everyone. So it's a mutually... It's a circular thing. So the schedule is going to be a little bit different for practice period than we've done before. We're going to be... And the practice period orientation will go over this in depth, but I wanted everyone at Green Gulch to know that we're going to be having two periods of Zazen in the evening. So for the last, I don't know how many years, in the evening we've had one period of Zazen from 7.30 to 8.10, and we'll have that period of Zazen plus Kinyin till 8.20, and then another period of Zazen 8.20 to 9.00. So it will be closer to Tassajara's schedule with two periods of Zazen in the evening. Those of you who are working in the kitchen, or sometimes after your dinner, and other people too,

[04:08]

you may want to relax a little bit if you've been working all day, but this will give you a chance to shower or whatever if you haven't, and then sit that later period with everyone, and then do the refuges together with the practice period. So I really encourage everyone to come to the Zen Dojo for either both or one of those evening periods. And I think it will help the practice period participants because often at 8.10 when the Zazen period has ended, it's maybe a little bit too early to go off to bed, and you feel like maybe I'll have a cup of tea and go to the dining room, and then maybe you end up getting into conversation, even though the guidelines of practice period are to practice silence from the evening period all the way through until after breakfast in the morning,

[05:10]

so it's a long period of silence. But I think this might meet that feeling that it's a little too early to go off to bed, and to just have this two periods of Zazen in the night. I came upon this encouraging words from Master Guishan, which Master Guishan was a Tang Dynasty master who became a disciple of Bai Zhang, and he lived in the 700s, 771 to 853, and there's encouraging words from Master Guishan. I'm not going to read you all of these, but I was very encouraged by them. And I came upon this reference that I always thought was Suzuki Roshi's words about walking in the mist. He said if you walk in the downpour, you get wet kind of on the surface,

[06:12]

but if you walk in the mist or the fog, you're permeated, your clothes are permeated all the way through. And Master Guishan actually in the 700s said, this isn't talking about people who have come to the monastery to practice and they've left their loved ones behind or their regular life of work in the world and have come to the monastery to practice. And one of the admonitions is to associate with wise friends, and it says living with wise friends is like walking in the mist, your clothes will be permeated with moisture. So I feel like we've gathered here a group of people

[07:12]

who have put practice as a priority in their life. This is no mistake that we're all here together. And so I would call that living with wise friends, people who see the importance of making practice a priority. And the reason often that people see this as a priority is that they have experienced great suffering in their life, kind of in a way that they can't control or they can't fathom or they can't understand that there's some great suffering in your life. And also along with that is often an experience of compassion that arises with this experience of great suffering, feeling compassion for others, feeling compassion for yourself and wanting to live thoroughly.

[08:13]

And this is a very strong force in one's life. But what also happens is that over time that kind of strength, that strength of purpose that brought you to practice can become eroded, you might say, or you might forget kind of how it is that you got here or other things begin to take priority sort of kind of through habit energy. So how is it that this, that one can keep this, the original beginner's mind actually feeling of why you came to practice, keeping that fresh and alive, this kind of determination to practice. And one way that's traditionally talked about is to look at impermanence.

[09:19]

This is one way that you can re-energize yourself about your practice. And for young people I often feel like to talk about impermanence feels a little abstract, sometimes looking at their own strong bodies and minds. But if you actually look carefully at yourself and at your friends and at those loved ones, you can see impermanence, you can see the gray hairs, you can see that a person is here one day and not here the next, almost like that. And bearing this in mind, bringing your attention to this, to impermanence, to see impermanence, the Buddha said to see impermanence is to see Dharma. So it's not necessarily easy to bring impermanence,

[10:22]

bring impermanence into your consciousness, into your daily reflections. And yet, and this is what Guishan said, I found this very strong. Well, I won't read the exact words, but basically it's, one day you will find yourself, I don't mean to be morbid, but this is what's coming up for me tonight. One day you will find yourself on your deathbed, wracked with pain and almost unable to think clearly, confusion. And you may think, how is it that I let those years go by without practicing strongly? How could I have done this?

[11:23]

And have great regret and great remorse. So to come together for a practice period, to be in this situation where everything is set up for you to practice thoroughly and with great support being fed and sheltered and having the teaching be presented and having wise friends to practice with. So my feeling tonight is to please not waste this opportunity. I sound like I'm sort of pleading, but I'm pleading for myself too, to not waste this opportunity that we have. And the way we waste it is, what we have to offer in the practice period is,

[12:24]

you know, the forms of the practice period itself. Whoops, did I drop this? Oh no, no, no, it's fine. Okay, it's falling around here. You know, how do we transmit this feeling of determination and looking at impermanence carefully? How do we pass that on to someone? You have it, that's what brought you here, and then how do you maintain that? And the forms of the practice period are all meant to help you look at this, help you look at impermanence, help you focus on what is the most important thing for you, what brought you here, and to not forget. So I know Rib asked people ahead of time about coming to the practice period, are you enthusiastic? Are you enthusiastic about the forms of the practice period? Because that's really all we've got to offer.

[13:25]

I say all, meaning to come to a Dharma talk or do some studying on your own and so forth is fine, and it's wholesome activity, but to actually thoroughly enter the practice, you have to put your body into it. You have to thoroughly, without holding back, thoroughly practice. And that means practicing the forms. When I say forms, it's kind of just a shorthand way of saying all the mindfulness practices, all the yogic practices that we offer, including standing, sitting, walking, and lying down. So here's this eight weeks where the distractions are very little or less. We ask people to stay in the valley for the most part who are in the practice period, and I know others of you who are not in the practice period

[14:27]

may just, on your own, not run around so much, perhaps. It's winter, it's dark, there's a turning in, there's not light in the evening, so naturally you maybe stay more close to the hearth, close to home. So we have this eight weeks, and to not waste it. There's so many people who think, if I could, I would go to a monastery or go and be in a practice period. If I could leave my job, or if I could get eight weeks off, or if my family wasn't at the age that my kids are at this age and if they were older, I would go to Green Gulch and do this practice period. So I feel like there's many people who long to be able to do what we're able to do. And then we often find ourselves saying, gee, I wish I were somewhere else, and I wish I could be... Anyway, we're wishing we're somewhere else,

[15:30]

and they're wishing they're somewhere else. So to just settle, completely settle with the offerings of the practice period, which means the schedule, the zazen, and not, you know, when you hear the sounds of the han, when you hear the sounds of the bell, you stop what you're doing, you turn your attention towards going to the zendo or stopping work and going to service or whatever it is, to throw yourself into the simple practices that are offered, the forms of the practice, which is how the teaching is transmitted. That's one of the main things about zen, is that the teaching itself is transmitted through forms. It's the style of the zen teaching, that forms become, they inform, they become in-forms,

[16:32]

I just made that word up, but they inform your life, so that it's inside of you, the forms are inside of you, not something you apply or copy, but you actually do walk mindfully in quiet, you do pick things up and are completely there as you set it down or pick it up. But this is the kinds of things that are taught as forms, you know, but often there's some resistance to the forms, and I'm saying, I'm trying to point to the forms as they're for you, they are completely for you to thoroughly understand the teaching in your body. That's how it gets transmitted. So, you know, I guess my wish is that everyone takes this up with, well, Reb used the word enthusiasm,

[17:37]

enthusiasm means to be filled with God, I think that's the etymology of it, to be filled with this kind of energy of wanting to do this, creates this harmony that we all feel, and we actually support each other more and more if everyone is doing this together. So this determination and bringing impermanence into your, we don't have this much time, we don't know, just like the Han says, you know, birth and death is the great matter, awake, awake everyone, don't waste time. That's our Han, you know, that's what it says, and each time you hear the Han, if you can remember what's written on it. So for me, when I first started practicing, as many of you know, I was in a great deal of suffering and confusion and depression also,

[18:38]

and the years I spent doing practice periods, mostly at Tassajara at first, because we didn't offer them at other places in the same way, I personally felt this made an enormous transformation for my life, to be able to do this kind of practice. And I feel... This is one of the greatest gifts that we have to offer the world, actually, our three practice places, is something that we call practice period. It's so... It's unique, and it's hard to come upon in many lifetimes, this kind of situation that's set up for you. So...

[19:42]

I... The Tenzo Kyokun, the admonitions for the head cook, and you've heard this before, perhaps, but it talks about the mind of the head cook, who is cooking for the community, and this is talking about monastery cooking. What they need for this job, and what we all need, is what's called big mind or magnanimous mind, joyful mind, and parental mind, or the mind of caring for others with the mind of how a parent cares for a child. And... I feel that these three minds, the magnanimous mind is talked about as oceanic and wide and stable, and able to see in a very broad way what's going on,

[20:47]

and not to take sides too quickly, not to have narrow view, this is magnanimous mind. And joyful mind is just what it says, it's a mind that even... It's not the joy of... You know, I like this dessert, I'm really glad we're having dessert tonight. It's a joyful mind that's there whether you like something or not. It's a mind that joyfully practices in both adversity and when things are easy, that finds joy, that kind of deep joy mind. So that's Daishin is magnanimous mind or big mind, and then Kishin is this joy, and Roshin is parental mind. And this parental mind, I feel like, is so necessary for how we get along in the practice period because this mind looks on everyone as if they were your child. And...

[21:49]

This is not predicated, or it's not necessary to have your own children to kindle this mind that sees other people and feels like you want to care for them as if they were your children without holding back. And my sense of these minds is that they arise out of the practice, that they're not intellectual or a conceptual mind that you can kind of try to engender. They actually arise out of this thorough practice of taking care of your body, taking care of your mind, and practice period is the way. It doesn't point to the way. It is the way. I sound sort of evangelistic or something all of a sudden, but I realized in preparing for this

[22:56]

that I feel, as I said, very strongly about this. So... Let's see. So one thing I was hoping to do, and if you'll allow me to do this, we do this on occasion, I was thinking that we could move into like twos and spend a few minutes. We sometimes do this when the priests get together and have these quarterly priest meetings where you just say to another person what it is your practice is and how you feel you might, not feel you might, but how you want to practice during the practice period. Those of you in the practice period,

[23:57]

I think hopefully are pretty clear about that. Those of you not in the practice period, maybe there's something, some way that you want to practice during it. And I just thought you could say that to another person and they could say back to you. Or that's one thing you could say, or also what might be hard for you to do during the practice period. And the third thing is how you might support the practice period. And I know that for those of you living in Cloud Hall, there are many ways you can support those in practice period. For example, really keeping the silence during Dzogchen and after nine o'clock, not having conversations in the bathrooms, really being careful about doors and feet and walking and all the sounds. This is something everybody can do and it really can contribute to the feeling during the practice period. There's also the half-day sittings.

[25:01]

Anyone on their day off can sit or arrange to sit. There's formal breakfast in the dining room. That are available for not only the practice period, there's helping to serve on half-day sittings. There's a lot of ways that we can all turn towards this practice period time. This Thich Nhat Hanh book, Stepping into Freedom, An Introduction to Buddhist Monastic Training, has a lot of... It has this encouraging words by Master Guishan and then Thich Nhat Hanh talks in a long essay to young monks and nuns who have just been ordained and they're pretty young, some of them in their teens, and he tries to encourage them. And I think one of the main things that he goes over and over is practicing mindfulness.

[26:02]

So... I'll just read a little bit. Mindfulness is the energy that can shine light on our whole life and nourish our bodhicitta or this original thought of enlightenment that propels us into practice. So our mindfulness of all these what seem to be small things but actually create a whole atmosphere of an environment that really allows you to practice. And he says if you go to a monastery don't necessarily make your decision if that's the monastery for you. Stay there for a while. Actually see how the practice is going there. How are people practicing? Look for yourself and see if you're encouraged by the way people are practicing and if you're not, then don't stay at that monastery. So... To create a place that encourages others

[27:12]

to practice hard and to take up the practices, how I think Green Gulch is that kind of a place, and I think... But I also think we can really put our energy towards this, not just assume that this is a good place to practice for people, not assume that this is an encouraging environment. Actually, it really takes each person to create that. So that would be another thing that you could talk about is how you might practice mindfulness or encourage others to. So would that be all right if we... We have a little bell here and I thought it's a little bit after 8 we could maybe have each person speak for about... not that long, maybe 3 or 4 minutes or something like that. And you could actually have a dialogue or just one person speak and the other person listen and then switch.

[28:12]

Okay? So even if you don't know the person next to you, it doesn't matter. Just turn towards who's over there. Well, from the sounds of that... those conversations, it sounds like everyone is very enthusiastic. So to meet our suffering through the practice period is a great gift to the world. It's a gift to ourselves, to all our loved ones, to each other, to study our suffering in this way and not turn aside.

[29:18]

And it doesn't take, you know, great sort of intelligence, like really being smart or something. It doesn't matter whether you're dull-witted or not. That's not the most important thing, to be really... highly intelligent. That's not necessary. It just takes this heart determination to look at yourself and study yourself, which means studying every single thing you do. That's the self we're talking about, not just something that sort of ends here, but everything you come in contact with, everything you think, every mind object, every sight object, every sound object, smell, taste, touchable, those are all...

[30:21]

This is the self. This is the body, the five skanda, big body, not just... It doesn't end sort of here and not there. So these practices of mindfulness and the forms of the practice period allow you, help you to study this and to realize this big self. And it's a big relief that it doesn't take great intelligence. In fact, great intelligence is a hindrance. The three hindrances are great beauty, great intelligence and great wealth, which we usually think of things that we might like to have, but those will get in the way of your actually settling yourself. That will distract you.

[31:22]

So we're all happy that we don't have any of those things. Some of us do have many of them. So... So in this... The last thing I want to read is... Guishan is... He's getting kind of firm with these monks. He's saying... The Buddha gave us precepts and what Thich Nhat Hanh calls mindful manners. That's how he translates just this comportment of mindfulness in all your daily life, bringing this supposed religious aspiration into whatever it is that you do, mindful manners. The Buddha gave us precepts and mindful manners to help us dissipate darkness

[32:24]

and realize enlightenment. These practices are as pure as snow. Stop doing what causes harm and overcome your confusion. Develop your beginner's mind and practice deeply the precepts and mindful manners. Otherwise, how do you expect to understand the teachings of the highest vehicle, meaning the Mahayana? If you don't change your ways, how will your mind settle on itself? Ask your elders for guidance or you may think your dreadful practice is excellent. Stop missing the chance to be with brothers and sisters more experienced in the practice. Stop wasting your time hanging out, eating and speaking idly. How are you at all better than those lost in ordinary life? When you eat, you bang your spoon against your bowl and when you finish, you leave the hall before others have finished. Every time you stand up or sit down unmindfully, you disturb the whole Sangha.

[33:25]

You don't keep up with the most elementary studies and so forth, you know. And you say... I like this one a lot. When someone gives you feedback, you don't listen. You only say, I am a forest monk. What does that mean? And then, so, then this to me is, who will be there to guide and teach the next generation of monks and nuns? Certainly not you. So this is, he really is, you know, sometimes this is kind of, it's called encouraging words because you hear that... You may feel insulted, you know, or something, or you may feel like he's right, this Master Guishan is right, you know. But for me, the most important thing of this is,

[34:27]

who will be there to guide the next generation? If we're not the ones who completely and thoroughly understand the practice, how can we pass it on? If we don't understand how it meets our suffering, how can we pass it on to the next generation? So... So thank you very much for your attention tonight, and... Is there anything anybody would like to ask or say? Yes. I heard something interesting today, that the schedule is actually hundreds of years old. Is that true? This particular schedule we're doing? This particular schedule. Well, let's see. It comes from the Japanese tradition, which comes from the Chinese tradition,

[35:27]

so I think the basic schedule, I mean, I think they had a lot more zazen, like... They talk about sitting till after 11 and then getting up at 2.30 and sitting more, you know, for the early morning hours. So I think there's variations, but the basic schedule of zazen and mindful... zazen and formal breakfast and silence and mindful work and study is, yes, very old. Not our particular schedule, you know, with two hours in the afternoon off. I think that's our expression of the schedule, but yes, having a schedule like that is very old. Yes? One of the things you said when you were reading that was developing your beginner's mind, which had kind of a contradictory sound to it because I was thinking that a beginner's mind

[36:28]

is sort of... you think of that as being sort of undeveloped or at least a mind that has not yet developed all these, you know, overlays of, you know, habits and that sort of stuff. And so I was kind of thinking of what that process would be and it, you know, it kind of has a feel to me of, you know, gradually, like, kind of, instead of developing meaning, adding on to it, gradually kind of letting go of, I don't know, concepts or habits or ways of thinking that you've been kind of stuck in or something like that. So it sounds like you're suggesting rather than developing it, like adding on things that gradually you'll develop this beginner's mind, it's more a divesting yourself or uncovering it

[37:28]

as the development there. Yes, so maybe development, I think you're right. Anyway, the phrase caught because it sounded like when you go to college you get all of this input, you know, all of this knowledge that you kind of accumulate and this is sort of like more letting go of all these accumulations but in this case it accumulated kind of mental debris or habit pattern debris and that sort of stuff. Yeah. Well, to me it was practice the precepts and these mindful manners which is mindfulness basically develop your beginner's mind. I think we're not really taught necessarily, especially in university, to, you know, set the book down with full mindfulness

[38:29]

and, you know, on the table where it's completely skipped over anything to do with, right? I suppose maybe if you're a scientist doing experiments you have to be very, very careful but I think it's... So your experiment would turn out right rather than in and of itself the importance of taking care of each thing. But anyway, so... It's almost like your beginner's mind will develop like a baby or something on its own. It will come forth if you take up the precepts and mindful manners. Is there anything like polishing a mirror to keep it free of dust or to remove the accumulations that have come to us now? Gee, I hope not.

[39:30]

You know, whenever I think of that phrase I think that it doesn't go far enough, you know, to just keep it free. The further the second poem that responds to that is there is no mirror, there is no dust. The understanding of that is beginner's mind, I think. So I feel like all these practices they'll get very tiresome if they're keeping the mirror free of dust if that's what we're doing. It's more penetrating. It will help you study what the mind actually is. That's what it's pointing to or helping with rather than keeping the dust off. Keeping the dust off the mind or keeping everything looking really polished and good is a kind of gaining idea, right?

[40:42]

And that kind of thinking will make it very hard to develop or to express or to realize your beginner's mind because you're always trying to kind of... It's seeking outside or looking good or keeping it all... You see what I mean? I think a misunderstanding of these forms which is why people hate them or not hate them but people have trouble with them is that you can mistakenly turn it so that it's just one more kind of way that you've got to get approval and look good and fuss about yourself and feel badly about yourself because you can't do it. Do you know what I mean? And that's when they begin that misunderstanding of doing or not doing but expressing your life through forms.

[41:43]

Misunderstanding of that is... Well, it's very sad. And if you're feeling discouraged often it's because of something like that. So it's a good time to talk with somebody and see if you can kind of realign yourself with expressing truly who you are through the forms or with the forms or that the forms actually do that rather than trying to get to be something other than who you are. That looks good. So I have a hard time balancing no gaining idea with this feeling I have that I need to have a gaining idea in order to make an effort. Well... What is it that gets me to this end? The whole universe gets you to this end in the morning actually. If what's getting you to this end

[42:50]

is kind of... the Tenkin is going to knock on my door or the Eno is going to be mad at me or something like that pretty soon it's going to be pretty hard to get to this end. In fact, you're going to hate it when you hear that wake-up bell. And start resisting like hard because it's for some other reason than your full expression of how you want to be in the world or how the world is completely you. The world goes to the Zen-do. But yes, we do... Having some desire to want to practice or want to understand your life is... don't worry about that. Don't worry about that in terms of gaining idea. I think you've got to have that or you wouldn't be here. So start with that

[43:50]

and you don't have to fret about that one. I think that's okay. It's still a gaining idea. It's a... It's a... what's the word? Prevent... not provincial. Provisional. Provisional. It's a provisional gaining idea that will help you to drop gaining ideas. So it's okay. I was just thinking that. Thank you. I was just thinking that like a couple weeks ago when we talked during... you were there. We talked about this new guidelines or this hazard gateways for living at Zen Center and how that kind of brings about this quality of questioning.

[44:52]

And I often find myself in this kind of... it's a very... kind of jabbermouth state of mind where like what I'm doing here is not enough. It's very... I think it has the same kind of quality though. It encourages me to renew my vows and practice harder. And like... I mean just even on a subtle level like you were talking about being able to offer support to the practice period. And I go, oh my god, I can remember some times when I did the last practice period and I said, well I don't really want to wake up tomorrow but I said it to someone and I regretted it later. Because it was like even though it was giving what I was feeling it was... like I felt like it was not necessarily the most supportive thing. You know like...

[45:54]

I don't know. I'm curious how you feel. Because I know during that meeting even we talked about the fact that even people who have been here many years have that same kind of feeling come up. Like well... is my practice good enough for... and also like the impermanence of like is this what I should be doing for a long period of time? Yeah. I don't know if you have anything to say. Okay. It's 8.30 now so I'm just going to speak to this and then we'll end, okay? This kind of inquiry never ends, you know examining your life and studying and you know what we offer here this practice period or residential practice at Green Elk you know when it comes to the end of that phase in your life if it comes to an end to know that and to go on to the next thing the next way you want to express

[47:01]

your whole body and mind. So... sometimes being in a practice period can really clarify exactly that it's time to be a dentist. You know? Somebody at Tassara they finally realized that's what they always wanted to be and they've been resisting it for years their grandfather, their dad was a dentist they wanted to be a dentist and they did and they're a good dentist. You know? So... anyway, it's... practice in residential practice in practice period or otherwise is not the only way to practice by any means. It's... and it's rare and it's wonderful and... and when that time is done for you to know that it's done is... is joy, you know? Bittersweet because you're sad to leave your friends but it's... so this examination is is necessary

[48:02]

even if you've been here for 20, 30 years when it's time to go it's time to go. You know? I don't know if that speaks to what you're saying but... As for, you know saying to somebody I don't want to get up you know you may be saying that because you want to be encouraged to get up and you're actually saying could you help me please? because, you know I'm having some trouble right now. But maybe if you say it that way you can actually get the help you need instead of maybe the other person feels discouraged or something, I don't know but anyway, it's... I don't know what happened in that instance but you could restrain totally or you could put it in some way like I need your help Dharma buddy this is what's going on for me you know? So we can help each other like that. Okay, well let's say goodnight thank you Thank you

[49:07]

May our intention equate with the strength of breathing and place with the true merit of love to play

[49:25]

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