This podcast is offered by the San Francisco Zen Center on the web at www.sfzc.org. Our public programs are made possible by donations from people like you. Good morning. This morning, I'm going to continue... to talk about each one of these words of the first paragraph is the whole subject in itself. So I just want to start with the concept of vow. What is the vow? I never liked using the word vow because although it's very strong and heroic sounding I never think when I talk to people I say you should really have a strong intention to practice.

[01:27]

Intention is a little bit Lower than that, it's more like realistic to me. It's very easy to talk about vow, but to me, vow means I will never go back. I vow to go ahead and I will never go back. I burn the ship, which is good. But how many of us can actually do that? So when I talk to people, I say, well, you should have a strong intention to practice. Because if you fail in a vow, it seems to me, if you can't maintain your vow, then you feel like a failure. Not necessarily. You can get up and continue. That's true. And we do.

[02:30]

But often, if people who have strong feelings, one way or another, put all of their feeling into a vow, then if they fail, they either feel totally destroyed or they have to commit suicide or something. For Japanese, this is very actually important. Because if they fail in their vow, not nowadays, but in the old days, in the Second World War, the troops in the Pacific who felt that they were being overwhelmed, they all had to commit suicide because they maintained their vow that it was either win or lose. I mean, that's very strong. That's great.

[03:31]

But, you know, practice is a long road. Practice is a very long road. And, you know, we have three natures, according to Vijnaptimattrata school. Paranirspana, Paranirspana, Tantra and Parakalpita. These are big sounding names, but they're simply Sanskrit words. Paraknispana is our true nature, which is non-dual. It's the end of understanding. Paratantra is our working nature, the realm of comparative values. where all of our activity takes place. And parakalpita is pure imagination.

[04:38]

So in pure imagination, we can tell ourselves anything we want, right? Because we're not doing anything. We're simply, you know, proclaiming, I vow to get enlightened, you know. that's great for imagination. And then the next step is, well, what do you do about that? Well, that's like paratantra. You actually enter into doing something in the so-called real world. And parnishpana is the goal. So getting from paratantra, I mean, is a big leap. So I would rather say, once you start to practice, what is your real intention?

[05:41]

Suzuki Roshi used to say, just do one step at a time. Have one small success at a time. Don't try to do something heroic. It may be heroic for you to just go little by little. That was his word, little by little. Just practice little by little. Don't jump into the full lotus right away. Do it tomorrow. We don't do step-by-step practice, step-letter practice, but that doesn't mean there aren't steps. When we get to a certain level, we do something else. And then if you want to sit in the full lotus, you start out sitting with what's really comfortable for you.

[06:45]

And then your leg will naturally want to move further up after a while. And then after a while, it'll... the next one will start to move up. It just tells you what to do. In order to fulfill a vow, I think we have to have a foundation. So the foundation is to have a practice that is based on practicality. This is a very practical practice. Suzuki Roshi had seen all of the good things and bad things about practice in Japan.

[07:51]

He knew all those things. And he knew what led to good states, and he knew what led to disasters. So for us, to just be, our practice to be just totally grounded was what we were seeking. Just be grounded. When you're grounded, then something can go out of the ground. But if you just, you know, Kadigiri Roshi used to say, Planting, starting or creating Zen in America is like trying to put a flower stem on top of a rock and have it take root and grow. It's really not that bad. But you understand what he means. He's saying, you can't just plant the stem. You can't just put the flower on the rock and expect it to grow. You have to have some fertile soil, and your practice has to grow out of the fertile soil.

[08:58]

So what we're doing is just creating fertile soil. Never mind the explosions and the fireworks. Just work in the ground. And he gave a great lecture about working in the ground. Just take care of the ground. And if you've ever done any amount of... farming or gardening, you know that the greatest joy is creating the soil. Just working the ground, having the soil be loose and percolate. Percolate means that the moisture and the oxygen are able to flow freely and then when you plant your seeds, the soil has foundation to support all that. For me, I definitely had a vow of practice when I started practicing.

[10:12]

I said, just after a while, I said, This is the practice that I've been waiting to do. And I have to do it now. I'm not going to do it some other time. It has to be now. And so I had this vow of practice. I didn't say I vow to practice. It just was there. But the vow that I practiced, the vow that I vowed to practice was the vow of taking care of the soil. So manageable, really manageable practice. So Dogen here says, we vow with all beings. All beings means that we carry everyone with us. That's just a Mahayana stereotype. We carry all beings with us in our practice.

[11:14]

We don't practice by ourselves. And of course this is, you know, Americans are individualists by and large. Japan, Japanese do things together in groups. That's one big difference between Americans and Japanese. And so individual practice is totally discouraged in Japan, except for a few saints, like Ryokan. But Americans kind of like the hermit ideal, you know, go out by yourself and do something heroic, which is discouraged in Japanese. So the practice that was given to us was the practice of everybody practices together. Everybody does the same practice at the same time.

[12:16]

We all get up at the same time. We all get to the zendo at the same time. That's why the practice is designed the way it is. It's designed to minimize your ego. Individual practice is considered leaning toward Egotism. Because you're doing something for yourself. You're simply doing something for your own satisfaction. And this is called Hinayana practice by the Mahayana. Hinayana means small vehicle, but not any one school that's a Hinayana school. According to my understanding, Hinayana is an attitude that can be in any school. It simply means doing something mainly for your own benefit and not carrying people along with you or not feeling that you and all beings are one being.

[13:30]

So we all have these tendencies, being Americans, to want to be a... yogi star but that's kind of discouraged so we vow with all beings from this life on throughout countless lives countless lives I think just means endlessly we think in endless terms so it's not like our practices just for today or for this life but it's endless, whatever that means. We don't know what it means. It just means forever. That's the attitude. It's not necessarily the reality, but it's the attitude. So we vow with all beings from this life on throughout countless lives to hear the true Dharma. That's all.

[14:36]

That's not hardened. That's a good vow. But it's hard to hear the Dharma. Not everybody hears it. And even if we hear it, we don't hear it. That upon hearing it, no doubt will arise in us. Thus, I'm sorry, nor will we lack in faith. So here we come up against idealism. Very ideal. That upon hearing it, you know, boom, here we are. But about meaning it, we will renounce worldly affairs. So, worldly affairs. I talked about that last time. I think the meaning

[15:39]

for Dogen is really to let go of worldly affairs and live in the Buddha realm, Buddha world, divorced from what goes on in the world. And there's merit in that, but we live in the world. How do we live in the world without being attached to the world? To me, that's the meaning. basic meaning. How do we course through the world without being attached? If we think about Avalokiteshvara, Kuan Yin, Kuan Yin courses through all the worldly, through all the junk of the world. Doesn't back down, doesn't go to the monastery. Just courses through the world, taking on the forms of the world. When Avalokiteshvara meets a prostitute, she becomes a prostitute in a sense.

[16:48]

In other words, enters the heart of the prostitute. When Avalokiteshvara meets a carpenter, he enters into the heart of the carpenter. So whoever you meet, whatever situation or any person, you enter into the heart of that person and you understand That's one of the ten powers, is to be able to enter into the heart of every person that you meet and you understand that without judging. How do you help that person? Not even how do you help that person, just how do you understand and in order to, I don't know, for no special reason maybe, you know, what is help? Help is a big, you know. I remember Suzuki Roshi used to say, you just come to Zazen in the morning, and then you go out and do whatever it is you do during the day.

[17:51]

And you don't think about Zazen. You just do your stuff. He said, when you have maturity in practice, you don't have to do anything special. Just being yourself helps people without you knowing it. Even though we make these vows or intentions or whatever, it's very hard to maintain the level that we would like to maintain because we're driven by our karma, by our instincts.

[18:58]

So in the midst of trying to do something really really good we goof up you know as soon as we think that we're being very calm and I remember one time I had just shaved my head and I walked into a liquor store not to get liquor but I could have but to get something you know Tums or something like that actually I don't understand why people drink. I've never understood it. Some people are prone to it and some people aren't. And this little kid was there and I just shaved my head and it got very oily. And he said, hey mister, you want to shine? It sets you back.

[20:03]

You're thinking that you're priest, you know, and people should respect you as a priest. And what comes up, you know, hey, Mr., you want to shine? So I'll give you another example. I received, you can't see this, I know, but I'll get a hold of it anyway. It's a layout of practice that one of my students gave me shortly after my arrival. And I'm not sure who'd made it exactly, but it says, start here at the bottom. And it has this picture of somebody that looks like me, but... And my bowls are set out in front of me. It says, this is tasteless.

[21:06]

Then the next cloud writing says, letting go of preferences. And then the next one says, these meals show no creativity. Then the next one says, letting go of judging. And then the next one says, I hate this food. And then the next one says, letting go of aversion. And then the next one says, at this rate, I'll lose 10 to 15 pounds by the end of the practice. And then the next one says, yippee. So. It's called Future, Present, Past.

[22:10]

As good as you want to be, your stuff always shows and always comes out. So this is what we're always dealing with. I talked about the tiger's cave to you. My favorite book on the Heart Sutra, which doesn't really talk about the Heart Sutra in intellectual way, talks about the Heart Sutra as practice. The Heart Sutra is about practice. If you only see it as an intellectual document, like Edward Concey, who was a great intellectual, and you should read his commentary on the Heart Sutra because it's really great. But heart sutra is about how you practice. The reason we chanted ad nauseum is because it's about our practice.

[23:19]

So Abbot Gobora says, it's hard for me to read in this particular light, so I can move it forward. even though it's in somebody's eyes. So he talks about, even though you want to do something wonderful, something always comes up to ruin it for you. But that is what practice is. Practice is, how do you deal with that thing that comes up that ruins it for you? That's what it's about. We think about practicing with our Buddha mind, and then the slightest thing comes up, and you're back into your monkey mind.

[24:23]

Buddha mind and monkey mind. When we said zazen, it's Buddhist practice. The body is... paratantra you know this physical body the back is straight we pay attention to the breathing the mudra all this no moving that's Buddha but then the monkey is jumping around inside of this mind all the time so Buddha is supporting the monkey. The monkey is parakalpita, imagination, pure imagination. It has nothing to do with anything that you're doing. But it's jumping around all the time.

[25:28]

And while you're trying to sit as Buddha, the monkey mind is continually... playing tricks on you. Come on, come on. Think about me. Think about me. So in this part of this chapter, he's talking about the Bodhisattva. Oh God, it's too small for me to be. But think about the Hatsukya. In Buddhism, there are the six paths, you know, like the six worlds. the heavenly world, the hell world, human world, animal world, hungry ghosts, and fighting demons, which are the worlds that we transmigrate through every day. That one time where a hungry ghost or a fighting demon. I don't want to read you all that.

[26:34]

But he says, well, let's see. He says, in Buddhism, there are the six paths, which are worlds. And among them, the world of humans alone is the noble one. I don't know about that. Dogs are noble, totally noble. My experience with dogs is Yogan-san's experience with the horses. when I was a little kid I've had lots of dogs so when I was a little kid we had a little dog and I used to play with the dog and we would play dog and I would get down you know on my floors you know we'd pull around, and then I'd lay down on my back, and he'd put his jaw on my throat.

[27:39]

And his teeth on my throat. And I'd just lay there, you know, still. And it was wonderful. Total trust. And then I would put my jaws on his throat. So I always trust dogs, you know. I have a great affinity with dogs, and I trust them and love them. And they don't bite me. So he says, a human body, Master Dogen says, a human body is hard to attain, and the holy doctrine is rarely met with, even 100,000 million kalpas. Now, by our accumulated merit, we have attained human form, which is hard to attain, and met the holy doctrine, which is hard to meet with. In all the worlds, this is the best life.

[28:42]

This must be the supreme life. We must rejoice exceedingly at having been born in the world a people, for the bodhisattva path of incalculable glory is only among people." Again, he says, in the heavens taken up with pleasure, that's one of the six paths, and in the four lower worlds, sunk in suffering, there is no opportunity for spiritual practice, and the aspiration of the heart is not fulfilled. In the world of heaven, they are obsessed with pleasure, and in the four lower worlds of hell, hungry ghosts, animals, and demons, they are sunk in pain. In these worlds, the bodhisattva heart does not manifest and spiritual training is very difficult. The reason is the case of the last four is that they are overwhelmed by their sufferings.

[29:46]

Instinctive grasping in the world of hungry ghosts, instinctive blazing up in hell, instinctive grumbling among the animals and instinctive resentment of others among the demons. So these four are all merely driven by their karma and among them the Buddha heart does not manifest. We at present are not to be slaves driven by karma. The Bodhisattva path is not for a slave instinctively clutching or instinctively flaring up. So we become slaves to karma, to our instincts, is what he's saying. And the Buddha path is to not be slaves to our instincts and to our karma.

[30:48]

So he says, I give you a frivolous example. The monkeys, which perform in the traditional monkey theater, So in Japan, they have a traditional monkey theater. And the monkeys act out plays. They're highly trained. Just like us. The monkeys would perform in the traditional monkey theater, however well trained they are, at the slightest thing, reveal their true intuitive nature. Once I saw a fine performance depicting the famous tragic scene from the 47 Ronin cycle. You know what that is, don't you? The 47 Ronin who all committed suicide together because their master did. Filial piety. Centering around the ceremonial suicide of the Lord,

[31:58]

Oh, I know. There's always an answer. Around this ceremonial suicide with the Lord Hagan. From one side came the monkey representing him. And as the singer chanted the words, My retainer, Yura no Soke, not come yet? The nobleman appeared to be expected. From the other side now came Yura no Soke, and at the words of the narrator, he seems to be lost in thought. Somehow the monkey gave that very impression. Animals they might be, but they created feeling in one. Suddenly, A spectator threw a bit of fried potato.

[32:59]

Between the Lord Hamgan and the retainer. Yeramoseki, paragon of loyalty, and Hangan forgot that he was the Lord Hangan. Yeramoseki forgot that he was Yeramoseki, and they fought furiously over the table. That was their world at the... That's the smallest thing. They were driven by instinct after all.

[34:00]

So the monkey, you know. The most famous story in China is about the monkey. The monkey king. And... And... Xuanzang. Xuanzang... was this monk, 6th, 7th, 6th century, who went to India to collect the sutras. And he went over the Pamir Mountains and the Gobi Desert and a great tract. There's a book called Journey to the West, which he wrote about his journey to India to collect the sutras. It took him 15 or 20 years. And this famous story is called Journey to the West. It's about the Monkey King and Xuanzang. And the Monkey King, it was the king of the monkeys, and the monkeys were in trouble.

[35:15]

And so he was going to go out in the world and do something to protect the monkeys. So he became a shaman and a magician, and he learned all the tricks in the world that are worldly tricks. And he defeated everybody except the Buddha. So when he came to this, he said, now I'm going to take on the Buddha. So he takes on the Buddha, and the Buddha says, Well, I have to paraphrase this. He says, my realm reaches pretty far. And Monkey King says, well, I'm going to go farther than your realm reaches. So in magic powers, he flips over through the cosmos, and he lands at the edge of the earth.

[36:23]

the edge of the universe of the Dharma Datu. Here I am at the edge of the Dharma Datu. And there were five big pillars like trees. And he says, here I am. And just in order to prove that I got here, I'm going to pee on one of them. So he pees on one of them. And then he flies back. And he says, I finally made it to the edge of the earth farther than your reach and Buddha holds up his hands like this and there's a little puddle right there at the base of his finger and then Monkey King is chosen to help Xuanzang on his journey.

[37:26]

And there's Piggy and Sandy and Monkey, the three stooges of Chinese literature. And so they lead Xuanzang. They're his scouts. And they take care of all the mundane stuff, all the dangers. They say, careful. We have to go this way, not that way. And so they're devoted. to Xuanzang. And Xuanzang is a saint. His head is in the clouds. He can't think for himself. He just thinks these fantastic spiritual thoughts. But they're taking him all over and watching out for him. And the stories are just so great. It's a great movie. I saw a wonderful play. I won't go into it, though. And so in the beginning of the journey, Xuanzang says, how am I going to control Monkey?

[38:31]

You know, he's such a mischievous, he's the epitome of mischievousness. And this little lady comes out, and she's Kuan Yin, and she says, here, take this golden crown and give it to Monkey. And when he puts it on his head, he'll think it's great. And then when he does something wrong, you say the magic word or something, and the crown starts to squeeze his head. He gives the cry to the monkey, and the monkey puts it on his head. And then, oh, well, you know. The monkey has something called a cudgel, in which he does all these things. And so when he does something, Xuanzang says the magic word, and the thing squeezes his head.

[39:40]

And so that's how he trains the monkey. We say, if you want to straighten out a snake, you put him into a bamboo tube. That's what Stukiloshi said. He talked about our practice as sitting in the bamboo tube. If you want to straighten out a snake, you put him in a tube. So it didn't get all curled up. no matter how hard we try, we always have this problem of our person. No matter how much we try to be Buddha, we end up being a person. But the person is Buddha. So we say, big problem, big Buddha.

[40:45]

Suzuki Roshi said, this is how he tricked us into practice he said the one who has the biggest problem is the biggest Buddha eventually has the most the biggest the person who has the most biggest problems is the one who has the most benefit through practice so Big problem, big Buddha. And this is what he's talking about. He's saying, no matter how much we try to be Buddha, we're just pulled along by our karma. He doesn't say, if you really try to be Buddha, you will be Buddha. We're already Buddha. We don't have to try to be Buddha.

[41:48]

We just have to let go of creating karma. But even though we want to let go of creating karma, karma just comes up. So that's why we have to realize that the state that we are in is the perfect state to be in, even though we don't like it. That's why we say, It's not a matter of what you like or what you don't like, where you are or where you aren't. Wherever you are, that's the place to practice. That's the place where you, when your karma comes up, how you let go? While you're being pulled around by it. While you're being pulled around by your anger, by your whatever. That's the place where you practice. finds itself. And you try really hard to be Buddha, but you're not.

[42:54]

You are, but you're a person. So Suzuki Roshi had this talk about being half Buddha and half ordinary. And half Buddha, he said, we're half good and half bad. And that leveled everyone. No matter how good you are, you still have bad. And no matter how bad you are, you still have good. It's not a matter of 50-50, but we're both. So we have to realize that we are both and not be so idealistic. So when we take a vow, we have to realize I'm taking this vow. Who's taking the vow? It's me taking the Buddha vow. Recognizing and aspiring to be my true self.

[43:58]

Which is not being led around by the monkey. So we can't get rid of the monkey but we can cooperate with the monkey. You have to cooperate with the monkey. We have to cooperate with ourself. Otherwise, we hate ourself. People go into self-hatred. I can't tell you how many people have self-hatred. You probably already know. Because we're not cooperating with ourself. We're hating that part of us that we think is not right. We just have to stop hating ourself. So even though you do something bad and something wrong, you will repent, right? Repent means to turn around and go the other way without the garbage of flagellation. Just turn around and go the other way.

[45:01]

Just drop. So it's really important to learn how to just drop because repentance is not something we do once a month. It's what you're doing continuously. continuously. Every moment is a mistake and the right way to go. So it's not something, it's not a big deal. We're just continually letting go, basically. Anger comes up, yeah, it takes us over. That's big Buddha. Suzuki Roshi used to say, oh, you're just angry Buddha. Don't worry about it. Anger is natural and normal. But there's no need to hang on to it because it doesn't have any root.

[46:10]

It just takes us over. Emotions take us over. Thoughts take us over. When we sit in Zazen, You can see that happen. It's continual. Goodbye. It's continually happening. When you sit in Zazen, You can't stop your thought. You can stop them for a moment, but then they come in the back door. You're waiting for the front, waiting like a cat for the mouse to come out of the hole. That thought, I'll wait, and as soon as the thought comes out of the hole, I'll catch it. But, while you're waiting, coming in the back door.

[47:13]

Oh, I've already been thinking for five minutes. So we have to live with that. We have to live in the world with the world without being caught by living in the world with the world. So our vow, you know, great vow, but very idealistic. We have these two qualities. One is the ideal, and the other is the actual. The ideal is parikalpita, just imagination. Ideal means idea. But until an idea is put into motion, it's just imagination.

[48:15]

So we have this ideal. But then there's the actual life, which is not predictable and doesn't favor anybody. The universe, I don't think the universe cares that much. But human beings care about it because we're people. And people, most of our stuff is about ourself. Taking care of ourself and each other, that's good. But we have to take care of what actually is happening and what actually is here and confronting us. And the ideal is a way of helping us do that. If we didn't have the ideal, we wouldn't know what to do. So we do have the ideal. We have the rules and the regulations. Rules and regulations are always changing.

[49:19]

Morality is always changing. In the past 50 years, morality has turned over on its head. So what was considered taboo 60 years ago is normal today. And what's normal today will be laughed at 50 years from now. We have to take care of what's really in front of us with the foundation of the ideal. But not everything that we do fits into the ideal because it's just an idea. Not as grand as it is. So to have the grand idea in the background and the practical in the foreground. So that's why cultivating the ground is our practice.

[50:30]

And then all kinds of wonderful things go out of the ground. And they are wonderful. Wonderful means they're full of wonder. And wonder means, I didn't know about that. I've never seen that before. Isn't it wonderful? Hong Rin, Master Hong Rin says, take a step into the center of the circle of wonder. So just take care of the practice and let the practice take care of everything else. It's wonderful. I have one more thing that I'm just going to read that's not long.

[51:30]

It's about... He says, merits from good deeds... Merits from good deeds, when associations become a little unfavorable, are destroyed with a flaring up of passion. Our life is destruction of what has been built and building up of what has been destroyed. Underneath building, a destruction, and underneath destruction, building, repeating again and again the same sort of things. All worlds of illusory attachment to self are the same.

[52:42]

The pitiable human state is symbolized in the Buddhist story of Sai no Kawara. I don't know that story, but he'll tell us a little bit. In the ruined temple of Daisinji, there is a representation of Sai no Kawara. of which a good deal remains. There is the dry riverbed of the story, and in the middle stands a great stone figure of the Bodhisattva Jizo. Around it have been piled up countless little pagodas. The story is familiar to all Japanese, how those who die in early childhood go to this place and employ themselves in building the pagodas. They remember their parents in the world and build one for their father and one for their mother. Piling up the stones one by one, a demon suddenly rushes in from the side and whirling an iron pole, smashes down everything they have built. The children, terrified, run to the stone jizo and hide themselves for a while in the long sleeves of his compassion.

[53:51]

We get the feeling of pointlessness that it is futile to keep building up the stone towers only to have them smashed down by the demon. If they are always to be destroyed, why build them? But that will not do, for this is Sai-no-Kawara, a place where the karma associations find fulfillment. When the demon goes off, the crowds of children come out again and build their pagoda towers. Just as they think they have finished, out comes the demon and all is destroyed. What was built up... is broken down, and then what was broken down is rebuilt. Repeating again and again the same task is the state of sai no kawara. Is not our human condition like this also? So in the worlds of relative good and evil, raised up on illusory attachment to self, we may do some good,

[54:53]

But then when the karma associations are unfavorable, evil passions arise and destroy it all. We rebuild what was destroyed and what we build is again destroyed. When we think that we have completed something, it disappears. And what has disappeared again comes about. So the endless wheel of life result revolves. And this is the character of human conditions. And in spiritual training, it is called the law of circularity. What a thing. What a thing to happen to such a splendid man. This is all the shiftings of human nature. From the point of view of spirituality, it is only going round and round in the world of relative good and evil. It is not the profound spirituality. All the worlds of illusory sticking to self are worlds of birth and death. There's another story, I'm not going to tell you a long story, about Yogan San and a horse.

[56:05]

When we were starting Green Gulch, the idea was to have as much natural power as possible. And so the idea was to have a team of horses which would do the plowing. And Yogan San was the team master driving the horses. And we have a great picture of him driving a team of horses. Thank you for listening to this podcast offered by the San Francisco Zen Center. Our Dharma talks are offered free of charge, and this is made possible by the donations we receive. Your financial support helps us to continue to offer the Dharma. For more information, visit sfcc.org and click giving.

[56:59]

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