Good morning. Just a couple days ago, we celebrated the spring, the vernal equinox, where the light is even, the evening out of the light and the dark. And that day was also the fifth anniversary of my mother's death, March 20th. So I've been thinking a lot about her and her life and her face, actually, thinking a lot about that. So I want to dedicate this... Dharma talked this morning to her, and it's not about her, but I feel informed by her.

[01:15]

So I want to start with a poem by Jane Hirshfield called, I Imagine Myself in Time. I imagine myself in time looking back on myself, this self, this morning, drinking her coffee on the first day of a new year. And once again, almost unable to move her pen through the iron air. Perplexed by my life as Midas was in his world of sudden metal, surprised that it was... I do need my glasses here. perplexed by my life as Midas was in his world of sudden metal, surprised that it was not as he'd expected what he had asked.

[02:34]

And that other self who watches me from the distance of decades, what will she say? Will she look at me with hatred or with compassion? I, whose choices made her what she will be, Imagine myself in time looking back on myself, this self, this morning, drinking her coffee on the first day of a new year and once again almost unable to move her pen through the iron air. Perplexed by my life as Midas was in his world of sudden metal, surprised that it was not as his as he'd expected what he had asked. And that other self who watches me from the distance of decades, what will she say? Will she look at me with hatred or with compassion?

[03:40]

I whose choices made her what she will be. I heard on the radio, on NPR, a story that was talking about global warming and the loss of species, and they said 70% of birds' species have been lost in Hawaii, and a few birds haven't been seen for the last 40 years, so they're not sure about them. And in hearing this, I had this sadness arise. More than sadness, a helplessness and despondency kind of come up in a big surge.

[04:58]

and feelings of great loss. And I thought of this poem actually. Will she look back at me with hatred or compassion? I whose choices made her what she will be. So our life in this moment has consequences, our actions, What we do, what we say, what we think is not some kind of puff that has no effect one way or the other. It has great effect far beyond we can ever know, really, inconceivable effect. Does everyone know who Midas is when it says no?

[06:05]

Yes? I'll just mention King Midas was not a bad king, not a power-seeking king, but he wasn't really thinking about the consequences of his actions or his thoughts. And he... He was one day walking in his garden. He loved gold, King Midas. He loved gold. He had golden objects all around. He sent his servants to go and seek out beautiful gold things. He loved gold very, very much. One day he was walking in his garden and there was a satyr, you know, one of Dionysus' cohorts, half man, half horse, I think, and he had kind of fallen asleep in King Midas' garden, all over his flower bed. And King Midas didn't punish him or get mad at him.

[07:06]

And Dionysus gave King Midas a gift of one wish. And without really thinking too much, he decided, I'd like everything I touch to turn to gold. just love gold. So then he went around his garden and he boom, ding, ding, he touched each flower and he turned into gold. And then he touched, you know, the palace and the walls and his furniture and he was having a grand old time turning everything into gold until it was time for lunch. Oh good, the servants are bringing me up my lunch and they brought him a lovely plate of whole wheat pasta and fresh kale from the garden. He was very hungry, and he touched the food, and bing, it all turned into gold.

[08:12]

He couldn't eat it, and then his glass, he was getting very thirsty. His glass of water turned into gold, one thing after another, and then he was getting very panicky. And right about that point, his darling, adored daughter came running into the lunch dining room and said, Daddy, so happy to see you. And he was like, no, no. And she gave him a big hug. She turned into gold. And he was beside himself with grief. And Dionysus took pity on him. And he... understood the consequences of his actions, that in that split second of, oh, I'll decide this, this enormous consequences. And Dionysus made everything turn back. But King Midas was much poorer than he was before, but you know, he didn't mind.

[09:16]

He really didn't mind. So that was King Midas, and as Jane Hirshfield says, perplexed by my life as King Midas was in his world of sudden metal, surprised that it was not as he'd expected what he'd asked. That's not what he asked for, but he didn't have wide enough thinking. He wasn't clear thinking. lots of ideas. So our actions of this moment, our actions of body, speech and mind, or our thinking, our words that we choose and use and write, and actions throughout the day,

[10:19]

We have to study this. We have to study intimately, carefully, familiarize ourself over and over with our actions and our way of thinking, and not assume that we have far-reaching, wide understanding. We've been studying a work called the Genjo Koan, during this practice period at Green Gulch. There's a class, and some of the lectures have been on that. Many of them have been. And we've gotten to the place in the text, this section. And I think for those of you who haven't been studying, we can just jump in here. I don't think it will be too confusing to see if we can just leap in right here.

[11:26]

This section says, when you first seek Dharma, you imagine you are far away from its environs, but Dharma is already correctly transmitted. You are immediately your original self. And then he goes on and says, kind of has this, paints this image, When you ride in a boat and watch the shore, you might assume that the shore is moving. But if you keep your eyes closely on the boat, it will be clear. You can see that it's the boat that moves. But when you keep your eyes closely on the boat, you can see that it is the boat that moves. Similarly, if you examine myriad things with a confused body and mind, you might suppose that your mind and nature are permanent.

[12:32]

But if you practice intimately and return to where you are, it will be clear that nothing at all has unchanging self. So that's the section which I'll look at together with you. So it starts out when you first seek dharma. And I think this dharma, you could say when you first seek the truth or the teachings, when you first start to practice, you have a thought that the teaching and what the teachers understand and what this is all about is very far away from you. And you've got to go somewhere and try very hard in order to get this thing called the teaching or the practice or the Dharma.

[13:40]

So when you've... This is kind of right... when someone begins to practice it, and this might last a long time, but when you first seek Dharma, you imagine that you, this little old self, is far away from enlightened beings or teachers or practitioners. And then, this is written by Dogen Zenjaya, 13th century Zen master, A. Hei Dogen Dayosho, great teacher, Dogen. And he immediately says, but Dharma, the teaching or the truth, is already correctly transmitted. You are your original, you're immediately your original self. Now this is not perhaps easily accepted.

[14:42]

You think, what do you mean I'm... it's correctly transmitted, I don't understand anything, and I'm not only that, I'm angry and confused, and my life is a mess, and I'm feeling great loss and unhappiness, and when I first seek Dharma, some peaceful feelings is far away from how I'm feeling, far away from my experience, That's how it feels. We imagine we're far away from this. But then it says, but Dharma is already correctly transmitted. You are immediately, excuse me, you are immediately your original self. Now, we have to be very careful here because when it says you're immediately your original self, we might have the notion that

[15:45]

were some thing called the original self, which is a thing, a kind of solid thing that we are. We just have to discover it, or some feeling like that. But then Dogen goes on to kind of help us with this, I think, and he gives this kind of image. When you ride in a boat, and watch the shore. And the commentary, the various commentaries on this kind of guess or have a sense that this might be from Dogen riding in a boat off of the Japan coast and seeing... And you can notice this yourself when you ride in a boat or a car or an airplane for that matter. You look out the window and it looks like the shore is moving or you look out of the window and the mountains are kind of moving along underneath.

[16:53]

If you're below the clouds, the airplane or you're in a car and it feels like the scenery is zipping past you, right? And you're just sitting in the car. and things are moving, right? But when you keep your eyes closely on the boat or closely on the car, you can see that it's the car that's moving, it's the boat that's moving. Which, if we go back to this sentence right before where it says you're immediately your original self, this original self, you're immediately exactly who you are. Your original self is not kind of solid thing. It actually is impermanent self or non-abiding self. So he helps us by saying, similarly, if you examine myriad things, and myriad things here is everything, anything that appears, all the objects of the mind, all our

[18:08]

things that we see, hear, smell, taste, touch and think about, those are the myriad things or the 10,000 things. If we examine the 10,000 things with a confused body and mind, with not being clear about things, we might suppose that our mind and nature are permanent. like we're this solid thing called me or even original self that has a kind of solidness to it and that if we examine myriad things with confusion, we might think I'm a solid thing and everything else is changing. But when we practice intimately and return to where we are, it will be clear that nothing at all has unchanging self.

[19:13]

Nothing at all has unchanging self, meaning what we call this person does not have an unchanging self, and all the myriad things that we see and interact with and think about and all of those things also do not have unchanging self or do not have a permanent, fixed, basic, unmoving self. Everything's active. Everything's impermanent with a non-abiding self. And all this altogether is this interconnected net of universe. So this line, when you practice intimately and return to where you are, there's some other translations of this practice intimately.

[20:25]

One is, if we become familiar with action and come back to this concrete place, the truth is evident and the myriad dharmas are not self. So this translation takes practicing intimately and says if we become familiar with action and come back familiar with our actions. Another one is, this says if he, if he makes all his or if one makes all one's daily deeds intimately their own and returns. So this points, this practicing intimately and returning to where we are is pointing to our actions. Practicing intimately is, are we awake for our actions? Are we awake as we speak?

[21:27]

Are we awake to our intention, to our motivation, to our thoughts? Are we awake to our words intimately? Are we studying this? The word Dawin used for study in another section where he talks about to study the Buddha ways, to study the self, and I think this is this kind of study. Studying the self is studying all these actions intimately, and the word study that's used, Character has, the self is the bottom part of the character and wings of a bird are the top part of the character. So the meaning of this kind of study is like a baby bird who's learning to fly. And it can also be translated as to be accustomed to, to become familiar with, to be intimate with, to get used to.

[22:34]

So to practice intimately, return to where we are, to study the self, to study the Buddha way is to study the self, the self that is not a fixed solid thing. We might think it is when we first begin to practice, but the more we study, become familiar, get accustomed, we see that We are the myriad things. We are what we see, hear, smell, taste, touch, think. There isn't a separation between us that's doing these things and the myriad things that come forth and realize themselves through us or with. It's one thing together. although we have to know where we are, meaning we can't abide in either side.

[23:46]

Oh, it's all just one thing, so I can do whatever I want. That's all Buddha Dharma. We have to, it's necessary to be intimate with our actions and see how they are interconnected. But that doesn't get us off the hook of taking responsibility for our life, intimate responsibility for our actions. And even a small, something very small like King Midas, you know, oh, I'll make a wish. How about everything I want, everything I touch, it turns to gold. You know, who's that going to hurt? You know, we can... have actions that are kind of like that sometimes, where there's big consequences. So when we first seek Dharma, we imagine we're far away from its environs, but Dharma is already

[25:05]

correctly transmitted, we are immediately our original self. What is this original self? This original self and the myriad things is one interconnected whole that is impermanent and where there's no abiding self and yet There is cause and effect. There are consequences to our actions. How do we live our life in a world like this? How do we take care of this earth, our climate, the air, our waters? I also heard on MPR a story of a man who's put these cameras all over glaciers, and they're cameras that are very incredible cameras that take a picture every hour, and they have solar panels that keep the batteries going, and they keep taking pictures every hour, and they're documenting the glaciers.

[26:31]

the melting of the glaciers. And he's making this time sequence film to show what's happening, not theory, not computer model, not what might happen if we don't, but what's happening right now. And I think it's going to be shown coming up. Maybe some of you heard that. So this this self that we talk about, this self that we study includes, cannot help but include the myriad things. We're not apart somehow from the myriad things. The myriad things go along and we, from over here, get to study them. We are one of the myriad things and are affected by and are this activity. So how do we study this intimately and make all our daily deeds intimately dedicated to being awake and aware of this interconnectedness?

[27:57]

How do we train ourselves in this way. You know, our Zazen practice, recently there was conversation with someone about how it is that they brought up something about why we never talk about enlightenment around here and enlightenment experiences and how encouraging that is. You know, what Dogen talks about is, you know, practice enlightenment is one thing, practice enlightenment. This practicing intimately and is living out the truth of how we actually exist as both individual, unique being and at the exact same time completely individual.

[29:06]

interpenetrated and one with the universal and the whole. This is, you could say, practice enlightenment that we need to live out and intimately live out that which we are already correctly transmitted. We're originally or immediately our original self. So Dogen's teacher, Ru Jing, brings up our Zazen practice, and I found this very helpful. He reiterates in this conversation with Dogen, about what zazen is, and what he points to is what's particular about this practice is compassion.

[30:18]

The zazen of the Buddhists and ancestors in which they put primary importance on great compassion. This is this practice of not just sitting cross-legged in this room, but living out this true self in all our activities. Making our effort to express this reality of actually how we exist in everything we do and say and think. And this wonderful practice of sitting has been passed on to help us to realize this. And the most important thing about that practice, what is it?

[31:23]

It's not seeking after something and getting some big experience, or as one teacher says, some piping hot enlightenment experience. But it's compassion, primary importance on great compassion and the vow to save all beings. And the vow to save all the birds and all the fish and all the beings. And in this computer, this person talking about the glaciers was talking about the rise of the waters and all of this. billions of people who will be affected by the rise of the waters on these coasts and the lack of drinking water. This is going to be huge, the disappearance of drinking water being inundated by salt water. And in some of our lifetimes, it's beginning already.

[32:27]

So this practice is the practice of compassion and living for the benefit of beings. That's what this practice is. That's the heart of it. And then he goes on, this is Ru Jing, about the practice of saving all beings. They wish to gather all Buddha Dharma from the time they first aroused this thought of living for the benefit of beings. And within Zazen they don't forget living beings. They don't abandon living beings. They offer a compassionate heart to even an insect. the vow to save all living beings and dedicating this to all living beings.

[33:35]

This is our zazen practice. This is our life practice. This is our life. And it's not that we're apart from all living beings. We can dedicate ourselves thus because we are thus. the anger and despair and despondency and terror and fear that is aroused by the actuality of what's happening. And also, you know, thinking about our, not our ancestors, but our descendants, you know?

[34:41]

our descendants, and will they look back at us with hatred or with compassion? I, whose choices made her what she will be, you know, are all the beings. Will they look back at us with hatred or with compassion? These actions have consequences. I've been recently reading this article in the Jung Journal about a trilogy, the Oresteia, Aeschylus' trilogy, Greek trilogy, and the last part, it's in three sections of the trilogy. The first is Agamemnon when he returns from the war and is murdered by Clytemnestra.

[35:46]

That's the first part. The second part is called The Libation Bearers. That play is Orestes killing Clytemnestra because of the revenging, avenging his father's death. And in The Libation Bearers, Orestes right before he does this deed, he hesitates and reflects, which is this. He's not just pushed by forces, unknown forces, or the gods, Apollo, actually. He has a moment of reflecting on his motivation and intention, and he goes ahead with it. But there's some It's not blind. And what happens to Orestes is the furies come and he can only see them and they gather around him.

[36:48]

The furies are these goddesses who are filled with fury, right? Rage. They've been betrayed. They've been treated badly. They've been shamed. They've been cast out and they're dressed in rags and blood-soaked and screaming, and they can't speak coherently. They're kind of out of their minds with anger and rage. And they circle him. This is kind of the ending of the libation bearers. And then the third play is called The Humanities. And the word humanities means the kindly-eyed ones. And one of the reasons I'm interested in this is because in the 25th chapter of the Lotus Sutra there's a verse about the bodhisattva of infinite compassion who goes by many names, Avalokiteshvara, Kuan Yin, Kanon, Kansayon, Kuan Um in Vietnamese, Chen Rizig in Tibetan.

[37:59]

Anyway, this infinite compassion Bodhisattva says, eyes of compassion, observing sentient beings, assembles an ocean of blessing beyond measure. Eyes of compassion, observing sentient beings, assembles an ocean of blessing beyond measure. And the humanities, the translation of the word humanities means the kindly eyed ones. So what happens in this third play is that these furies, there's a trial, a trial by jury for Orestes, and jury of his peers, actually. The play also is at a certain point in Greek history where social justice and community justice, there's some change there.

[39:00]

But at any rate, there's this trial, and it's a split jury. And the Furies are wanting Orestes to be tried guilty for the death of his mother. And there's many ghosts and Clytemnestra's ghosts and so forth that come. You can imagine how it would have been to see it performed. I'd love to see this performed. in Greek theater. Anyway, Athena is called to the hung jury to decide, and she decides in favor of Orestes, who avenged. Now, Athena, the old Athena, is very patriarchally connected and kind of one-dimensional, rigid, but this Athena, this is kind of a new Athena, has a flexible mind and compassionate mind and she looks, she takes in the scene, including these furies who are crazed with anger and ready to be exiled and to leave the country.

[40:13]

And Athena looks at them with eyes of compassion and she includes them. She doesn't send them off. She has these gray-green eyes, Athena, and And she coolly sees everything and looks at them and honors them, calls them elders and honors the goddesses that they are and respects them, looks again at them when people don't want them around. But she, even though they could hurt her, even though they're terrifying beings, She is willing to see them, honor them, speak with them, hear them. And they, in turn, respond to this empathy and eyes of compassion, eyes of compassion of Athena. And they begin to feel like they're part of the human community again.

[41:18]

And she uses her voice, her eyes, her speech, her actions, to include them, to honor them. And at a certain point, they don't know even what's happening, but they feel the anger slip away. And then they're honored. Then all these women come and take off their... rags and put these robes on them and crowns and lead them by torchlight in an honored way to be part of the community. And they change their name from the Furies to the Humanities, the Kindly-Eyed Ones, and they're honored. And there's more to this play and this article about the feminine and what was happening in Greece. But for me, what was so striking for me about the stories was how the power of our seeing, speaking, listening, including, honoring even somebody who's, even our own self that's being

[42:43]

beside ourselves with rage, how do we, with eyes of compassion, see honor, respect, and not banish and exile? So this is, you could call this something, work we can do internally with our friends and family, with all the beings of the earth, with nations, you know, This spring equinox is a new year, you know, in many countries. And, of course, different religions this time of year is renewal, right? Re-generation, re-coming back to life, the earth. So compassion, wisdom and compassion by compassion as this almost animating force of the compassion, this warm eyes of compassion, not leaving out even an insect, Ru Jing says, in our practice, in our practice of zazen, sitting zazen and zazen of everyday life.

[44:12]

And We need help. Please ask for help. And if it's helpful, imagine yourself looking back. This is a kind of salubrious reflecting, reflecting on our actions of body, speech, and mind so that we can practice intimately. Thank you very much.

[45:13]

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